Stalker Vibes and Children's Dark Drawings

Yum what'd you want? Beakle jaws, steers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with claws, Whate' prefer. Just kidding every word in his songs about two grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Welcome to the Wolf and Owl email spepecial. Yeah It's a for that P feel special with Tay this. I promis I'. hall we get straight into it Hi Wolfal sw and cat a few months ago I emailed about advice on Ws when proposing to your other half The time came on Saturday Oh my god my God The time came on Saturday to finally pop the question. and with the help from you guys, it went very smoothly As you took As you took all the pressure off me thinking it had to be some big speech, I just kept it natural in the moment and went with a flow Thankkfully ended with her saying yes which topped it off as requested last time by Tom. we bought two tickets in one of his shows the one in Portsmouth. would subsequently be our first ever stand up show live gosh. Sorry for the long email, that's not actually that long at all Just wanted to say thank you for advice, M thanks aervous number. Congratulations W Congratulations. Isn't that cool? Mate, I feel I feel p Tw two tick isn back two tick is. want to meet these people. Yeah. Tom wants to meet you so S see you before after the show Yeah go and say hello. Yeah. please do go and say hello to. Yeah. No conongratulations. You've got people coming to Portsmou S. Yeah, Portsmouy. Weirdly Portsmouth has never been a problem. Portsmouth is one very special, isn't? I love Portsmouth. Yeah. It's greats great city full of great people. Yeah and two very special people coming. I'm actually do you know what? I feel like They should also come to the cb night. You should tickets to the club night are yours Um who who who whoa, we haven't even put it on. We don't even know when it is they are offering free tick? you didn't comps before we even Oh you could pick them up as a chauffeur. in U Western But we'll have to strap one of them to the roof. Okay. Oh my gosh. Shall we that's amazing, by the way. Yeah, Congratulate genuinely.ty five That's incredible,ro. Congratulations, man. That's good. That's made me feel happy. Yeah, M made people really happy. That's good. Really good. two people get Two people get That is a winner by the way that we should go to I know we've said it a lot and we've gone, we might go to one but this we're in the mix of this Well, the nervous number in fairness we DJ at the wedding forree. Well, they're not even suggesting that we're invited. Yeah, I'm just saying. And neeither of us can DJ. So those are the main. What Percy's coming with us So now they've invited Rob Percy. Rob Percy Rob Percy's DJing for free, by the way. That's how by the way that's a gift from. That's how he makes his living. But now we've offered him Rob Percy by the way, I would tell you now is not just a DJ. I'd say Rob Percy is going to be one of the best wedding guests. He's a port of entertainment system. I fucking love him. Yeah.reat. So so much fun to be around. Yeah. I think Rob Percy injected into your spirit Like elevates your moveood by at least twenty percent. Yeah, agre great Red Ball, but in human form. All right, all right, relax. Fucking why you marry her? I'm now to do Double wedding. Yeah. Let's talk about Payoni's disease, or PD It's not widely talked about And some men may feel reluctant to bring it up but it's more common than you'd think PD can happen when scar tissue builds up under the skin of the penis, causing a curve or a bump during an erection that for some men, may lead to pain during intimacy and impact mental health A trusted urology specialist can help diagnose PD and walk you through your options, including non surgical treatment Visit talkaboutpD. com Let's talk about a condition many people haven't heard of And it turns out, it's more common than you'd think Heyrony's disisease, or PD for short PD can happen when scar tissue builds up under the skin of the penis This can cause a curve or a bump during an erection and for some men, lead to pain during intimacy may impact mental health It may also lead to anger and frustration impression, lower self esteem and even withdraw from sexual activity and physical intimacy Because of this, some men could feel embarrassed or reluctant to talk about PD The actual cause of PD isn't always known In some cases, it may be linked to a minor injury or repeated injuries during sex or other physical activity The good news is PD is treatable. If you notice a curve with a bump, a trusted urology specialist can help diagnose it walk you through your options, including non surgical treatment To learn more about Pironi's disease, visit talkboutpD d. com. Okay, Join me in a question. I'm so buzzing. I gott to take a moment That's to itself I recently stumbled upon your podcast and absolutely love it So I thought I'd ask you a little question I enjoy doing things to get a reaction out of my partner I tend to do things that annoy for a laugh. For example, I've recently started a new tradition Every morning I step on the scales in the morning, I stick this ones. in the areir as if I'm boxing way in But whenever we're cooking somethingether it's a p a carryer or something else, I always say You you know what it would be great in this a tina bakedans O my personal favourite simply breathing. What is going on here This is Do you guys do anything to get a rise your better half or totally normal things that seem to get on their nerves. All the best, Ian. Hm By the way. And I love the factat a hass just gone with in. it's not even Yeah, yeah Yeah, you really know thatimal n weirdly, the baked bean thing is something I do to Katherine that really annoys it. and I don't do it as a joke I just think baked beans and everything. in a curry B be curriry amazing. B bean curry is actually quite good. Baby bean curriry iss amazing. nameame of thing that baked beans isn't workking in. Tif What you just trying to be like wrong?, what's mean Fucking savory? We didn't say that, did you? Yeah by the way the name of thing. By the way, if you I bet if you blitzed them up a little bit sugar in then they did. Okay, here you go with your sugar thing again. I'm not after the reubu, gate, I'm getting into thisubob. byy the way, it turns out Rhubobb's not even a fuckinguit. No, it's a vegetable. By the way, Rubob's amazing in a trif. Crect right, Bait beans name a savory dish that baited beans doesn't go in. All right U There's not a is she doesn't go with. I'm thinking, I'm thin Lasagna ans got bit beanss goingigna. everyveryone's going up fuck, mate we fuck. We're up fuck. Okay Bike beans are real. Okay. I'd argue even the minint is going Iay beans in a vegetarian lasagus aming. Okay fine. Let me try and think of something else Um, I can't actually. There's nothing Uh I should have thought over him. Gone And I think bait beans would find themselves slightly sort of overrwn in a Chinese meal Yeah I don't think, but I don't know B Beans would Stir fried bait beans wouldn't be b Maybe. You might be right. Yeah I mean yeah, tomato sauce doesn't really belong in a Chinese,nt that Indian food it goes great with. Yeah it goes great. Thai green curry Yeah you're right Yeahah, Thai and Chinese food. Yeah. u Ke up Ihing I think beans on the side of a keab would be banging. G you a bit of moisture U Pizza B bez said, you can get like a full English pizza. That's fucking dreadful.ait You know what the I had when we were in Barcelona? a piece of chips on. Chips and pepperoni Yeah It's a bit like a what they call like a u Okay. Well what's those things called Jyro? It's like a gyro, right That's like Yeah, isn't it pronounced Jiddos? Yeah I call it Jarro. Yeah. Well we also call it Pom pure. I do quite a lot of things at eating, by the way. My eating style really annoys If we have pop and dums or prone crackers Yeah, it really annoys Katherine. Yeah can't we can't have a ming meal with any hard Because I tend to eat my mouth open with those things I don't like I get so excited about that course in particular. Yeah. I just go so tortilla chips I so in. Have you ever made tortilla chips with a tortilla I don't know Katherine was you it. Yeah. delicious. So much better But then it does really sort of bring home how unhealthy those things are. Yeah, yeah, yeah U Prawnzs crrackers but way are just delicious. I mean you can't have them, but f may they amazing. I u I a lot of what I do it gets on las's nerves, I think Yeah. what I like you know, the main thing I do is griffer up. got so funny that D you like that, man? You're quite gropy around the hand. Not I'm not say gropy. It's not like a sexual thing You got to be carolinine as well, because your boys are coming of age. they see their dads sort come around there as being a bitchy. It's not letchy. It's kind of like what's the best way to, you know, like Come here, Lk It's a bit like that, yeah. Yeah. Well G a TV h, come and have a kiss. No, I wouldn't do that, but You know Any. Ecouter id. I'm affectionate But in a way that's annoying, in what sense? Give Rommy a kish Yeah, a little bit of that or I might just or I might you know, she might be cooking then I just give a little cuddle from behind. That's nice though. I know, but it's I think sometimes like if you're If you're busy, ye you don't want this fucking No, I don't do know what I think she'd like that. You don't want a lmpic cling onto you? No, I think you've been ashing yourself. that's a different thing for the boys That's a nice thing for the boys to say. Well, when we' when we're in Barcelona Oh my Godd, I haven't told you my Barcelona story Oh, hit me. It It's not a story. It'sool. Anyway, one of the things happened. we went to a theme park ice. And then Lisa and I had a little peick on the on the lg.. I don't know why anyw it doesn't matter J just gener There should be a away. No but it was off a moment or something That's nice though Anway Alex said to me you' too old for that. What? Hm Wow Great, Grace makes me and Catherine kiss in front of her She's like My daddy have a kiss? thats that's quite sweet. Anyway, we were doing a lot of shopping on the last day Yeah and we cut it quite fine to get into the car to go to the. I respect that by the way I respect what? The fact you've cut it fine. Yeah I think everyone puts so much emphasis on getting to places early. So we're cutting it quite fine I said to Lisa, she was buying a handbag or something and I said to her I'm going to take two of the boys back to the hotel We'll get the luggage in the car And then we'll wait for you right? This is the most that's a fucking that's a vibe. You you think so? Yeah, I was actually it was quite sexy. Anyway, the boys boys Which two boys do you take for that job? That was Alex and Alex and Charlie. Good joice. So we're going off, we're walking down the Austria with your oldest bys. The boys were a bit tired and I thought I'd do something funny. So I knew I had a quacky fart lined up Right You know like when you know it's going be like a Yeah So I said We're walking along And I said, listen to this, notothing to miss. Dad d d d. Oh wow. wow. And then let Rp with his fart, right? Yeah. and I thought would make them offgh. Unfortunately, as I got to the end of the song, I hadn't noticed group of women got to the other side like to the our side of the road from crossing and sort of moved in directly behind us As I finished the song and did the f. Oh wow. They I suddenly hear a group of women cracking up laughing.. Alex says, Ohh my God, oh my god, oh my god they heard Then they stop pointing at me and nudging their maize and going basically saying this guy's father and I just fucking ran away. You ran. Well, I sort of walked very quickly because it was just fucking humiliating. How mad is this, R? And you can verify this with your brother This is an insane thing that this has happened here So we were in Cornwall M your brother doing a show. We go for we have a morning walk every morning ve walked up at the top of this hill cliff thing looking down at the scae and we've come walking back The night before we've had the day before we've had quite big lunch, we've had quite a big know And we've gone up for pizza So as we're walking down the hill, I was like I like Den, I pop a guffing those and he making a bit of a joke about it. And We passed this woman who was sort of right looking out to see and stuff We we sort of walked down the hill a bit and then we stopped a cou of times toort sort of take pictures and there. And as we're walking down, your brother's really, he's really funny around farts. He's like he hates them. He's quite a prudish. Yeah, he's prettyudish around guffs, right This is Maddy. So I go din, get a loone at this and I sort of cock my leg like that. St there, cock my leg, let rip and the woman is literally there you hadn't noticed. No, because she was coming down behind me and obviously height wise, she's literally eaten like And I was like I literally just mortified, just walked down and then went, You fi that woman? I was like sh like just keep walking And we just kept like, you know, it was so fucking like It was horrily and she mortifying It's insane your' brother, by the way, around anything like that I don't think I've ever heard my brother f He like if you talk about, I mean, he's the opposite of you. What does that mean? Well, becauseuse you and meate we've done a podcast for six years, I think probably seventy percent of it has been talking about farts and pose, right? Dint in, if you mention a ph, if you go That's the guy tooy it, guys like anything else you'd have a joke about. He just gets really prudish around that sc Yeah. I don' think I haven't heard him say he need to take a shit or anything like that. No. Interesting. He just slopes off. Yeah. yeah He got caught a put away bad in a change made in a dressing room incident Well will we share add dress room now at least . And yeah. Wh are you showaring a dressing roomother one? Because I we like it, meaning we chat before go I don't want to be sat on my own before the show. Be sat on your own, be a fucking grown up. Why? You're about to do a show. Why didd you be sat with the support act? forcing your supportu act to fucking Sow your Sit. No. He loves being not that bit. He loves it. We love it together We sit, we chat, we joke, we laugh. o. We watch videos together on YouTube I need I need to chat to Din and get his side of things on this. Okay O g on a voice note. Yeah. All right. Are you looking for support in your weight management journey? Zetbounds Ter zepatide may be able to help ZBound is a prescription medicine used with a reduced calorie diet and increased physical activity to help adults with obesity, or some adults with overweight who also have weight related medical problems to lose excess body weight and keep the weight off. ZepBound is approved as a two point five, five, seven point five, ten, twelve point five, or fifteen milligram injection Zeepound contains terzepatide and should not be used with other terzeepotide containing products or any GLP one receptor agonist medicines. It is not known if zepound is safe and effective for use in children. Don't share needles or pens or reuse needles. Don't take if allergic to it, or if you or someone in your family had medularary thyroid cancer, or if you've had multiple endocrine neoplasia syndrome type two Tell your doctor if you get a lump or swelling in your neck. Stop zipbound and call your doctor if you have severe stomach pain or a serious allergic reaction. Severe side effects may include inflamed pancreas or gallbladder problems. Tell your doctor if you experience vision changes before scheduled procedures with anesthesia. if your' nursing, pregnant plan to be, or taking birth control pills Taking Zbound with a sulfonyal urea or insulin may cause low blood sugar. Side effects include nausea, diarrhea, and vomiting, which can cause dehydration and worsen kidney problems T to your doctor. callall one eight hundred five four five five nine seven nine or visit zeppbounds. liily. com Why Rom and Tom Help settle the debate, please. What way up do you eat a chocolate digestive? Do you have chocolate facing up, so it stick to the roof of yourou? The chocolate facing down s it melts in your tongues. Well, of all, the way you phrase that is incredibly leading My boyfriend Ian, are will I? I could be the same man says it's serial killer vibes eating them chocolate way down. Both him and his mate Matt say my way is wrong They're from Maclesfield. they're a bit weird, okay whichich could explain. If the chk was meant to be on the top, then the writing would be on it and they'd be that way up in the packet. Please confirm the correct way, loveve you lots. Thanks Abby. Thank you, Aby. By the way Abby always reass showures me as a name In what way? I it doesnn't work I have you. was a nice person. o U Tom, chocolate digestives. I mean, don' I like Abby. I think she's a really good person I'm going to tell you now, I can't I never ever eat a chocolate biscuit with the chocolate facing down It's insane The cher has to be up. ? Are you the other way around Okay Well, okay. this if are you genuinely saying to me? firstirst of all I've got a lot to say about this Okay, well tell what, if you can make a convincing argument I'll be shocked. I can't see I can't fath them. So you' telling me a Jaffer cake You'd eat with the sponge up. Yeah, sponge up, yeah What chocolate down? No, that's a different. okay. I'm talking about chocolate digestives it go. Okay. Shia, Jammy Lang, by the way Well, he's back the mov ites Yeah it's good to Candy Kittens are doing one.'s. good could see him. Yeah. get some. And he's got the Disney pllus series. ye. Yeah. Finally, things are looking up for him Anh who I know I do like Jamie, I love Jamie Not love loveves too much, but I do like him. Yeah, he's a good guy He's a sweetart Anyway, hear me. We talked about this on the Ranger Nation I believe that you should eat chocolate down Okay, I don't believe that you should. I think it' why because It's a chocolate digestive. Yeah You're eating it because you like. I would say that I think the best way of eating it is two biscuits squeezed together. Okay we're talking about people not fucking animals.. So You like it, you eat it because you like the chocolate. Yeah The best way to taste most of the chocolate is with the chocolate facing down Wh no? Because it hits your tongue straight away. Yeah, but you're not like chew it Yeah of course you do, but straight away you're in chocolate City which is Laca's nickname for me by Right, say We talked about this in the Rangan Nation McVittty's. Yeah saw the Dubai Yeah. And they tweeted the correct way to eat chocolate digestive is chocolate down So the manufacturers confirmed Now there are some counterarguments to this. For example, the Jaffeates is are a good counter argument.. The second big counter argument is pizza All of the flavour of a pizza is on the top. Yep, right And you don't eat that upside down. E will fall off Well, that's my that's my cash the way cash savement pizza had an amazing pizza whilst I was in Chura. Como. Okay. Cber pza. Boss Bso's pizza parl, Beautiful pizza. Okay. smallmall little business. Yeah, Mom and pop store almost And they did his big pizza slices. I'd say the best way to eat a pizza. I don't think he's anything better than rolling a pizza up, so it's like and like like a sandwich and eating it. That's good. Yeah. Pizza is the biggest counterargent to the Pizzas is are different than deject. You can't get voled in it that's a different range. Yeah. And there's gravity. Yeah. There's a gravity issue Um Yeah. but chocolate digest is chocolate down That's insane. I don't have to try it now You're about to have your taste buds blind You will get chocolate on your fingers I mean, I would say that that's that's because also then I think at home that's fine because there's nothing better than licking your fingers. L there's stuff that's better than licking fingers at home. You've got wiFi Oh it's so nice about that going R on, yeah Yeah, I wouldn't do the unbroken eye contact. Yeah, okay, but I'd say But when you're out in public and if you like you've got those little three pack of diges, and you've got chocolate all over your fingers, it's it's a. H Rumish and so who who who who whoa I did this the other way. I made a mistake like this before Yeah o. Okay. so just Okay, let the email take you natural let. Hi, Romishing, Tom F firstirst thing I'm a big fan of the show is's become a staple listen Rubbish, I followed your work for years and was rated you Tom, I'll be honest. I hadn't probably come across your stuff until Silverstone last year you are generally one of the highlights of the whole event Naturally, I did what any normal person would do. and immediately bine through everything you've ever done Now here's where things take a turn Not long after, we went to a live recording of Never Mind The Buzzcoos, and told you were there And then we went to a live femle unacceptable and guess who was on the team, Mr. Tom Davis again At this point, I think this is getting suspicious And then to top it all off, we had the chance to say hello at the end and inst stad of panic call I panicked and basically dropped the This looks a bit stoolkish line, which I regret to today So my question is How do you not come across like a stalker when it's generally just a coincidence because I'll be seeing Tom later in Notam again in Notham later this year and I'm keen to avoid escalating this into something that ends up with seecurity getting involved. Any advice appreciated ideally before I accidentally attend a third event in a row and complete the trilogy Cheers Aron AKA, the QuickBooks chat. Does that mean anything to your Qipwickksrap? Yeah, yeah it does Um I'd bl it No, I chatted him, I think he mentioned a quuickbook thing. When did you chat to him Th I think I tried him move off to I can't remember. I do I I remember having an awkward encounter with someone after show that you guys make. Unacceptable. Unacceptable. Right. So he chatted him and he mentioned quQickBooks. I think that's from why. And then did he say the he made a joke. that alluded to the stalk Ch that I can't one hundred percent. By the way, that sort of stuff never triickps me. I'm never like if someone's nice and like genuine, I'm always like I'm naturally try to start a conversation with people I've met before at times and it goes badly. So I think I'm the worst person to ask about this I've made a fool of myself by justust thinking, oh yeah I'll crack a joke and that's some way in Um And it's backfire quite a lot of times. I would say that from what I remember of Aaron, he was very sweet. Yeah, a nice guy Okay and also a great crowd member So Aron, you don't have anything to worry about Not all. Come over What was the question, sorry, C we call after nting him come come in ye I, how do you come not come across like a stalker, it's any of just coincidence? I I think I think the thing in F M must income a Stalk always struck me I mean, I wouldn't say it's coincidence that you're going to see him in Nottingham. No, you're coming along to that feels deliberate. That's not done accidentally as it? But also I would say that I just always think be yourself and just be relaxed and children ever life. Yeah. Have you had this scenario because you feel like to meet I always think with you, you're not one of those people who's going You'll let the fucking action come to you rather than you go to the action. What does that mean? I think for example, if you saw Tierry Henriy, right One of you all time heroes. I don't think for a second go to the area and start a conversation I think you'd hold back, you'd be cool, you'd be relaxed And if he didn't come over to you, you' just be up, okay, that didn't happen That is probably how I would approach it. Yeahah. Yeah Whereas if that was me And I saw someone that I really idolized, and you'd follow him home. I can not go over and say he fan I think you're amazing or something like. Yeah, I mean, I think I think there's probably argents I think that like I remember I told about this when I went to see When see Drayan Snope and Mmin M was came as a special guest over at that launch thing There Martam was DJ in that event at that event. he said to me do you want to come meet them backstage afterwards? And I said no. evenven th not in a I'm too good for the way but in a like obviously I'm obsessed with Rraay, I'm obsessed with you. I love Em and M But I just thought I've seen them do what they do I don't want to go back there. do you know what I mean? L I just I feel like They' they've not got any interest in me. Like if somehow socially we happen to be, I'm not saying this would ever happen socially we happen to be in the same situation dinner together and then whatever, that's not. can I say that I've seen you in those scenarios. Yeah and you have an element of coolness around you And I know you're going No, I don't, but you do. L it's like you have an aura. Now we talk about aura andt it' become a thing. but you have something about you that makes you very like You don't feel out of place in that sort of scenario. I do feel out of place in that, but you don't ever give the an. you haven't or like this way about you that makes you feel Oh yeah, he he you can walk around those people it doesn't fit. I know that because I know you well. I know there's you don't feel like that. Yeah. but I think that almost you carry well, I think we both feel the same I then carry it off with like a giddy sort of feeling of someone who's been allowed So if you so because you yeah, I just think that like you would about to say D I know for a fact that I've made such a prat out of myself and found the Dron rice that he that is that even though, you know He's been lovely to me since. I'm more than aware that the first few times I' met at Declon Rice gave him the lasting impression that I was a fucking looser and he's lovely to me and I' this is nothing itst Deckl. I think he's a credit to the game. I love the guy. But I know for a fact that was I was so excited to. By the way in Delland's defense, he was like a nineteen, twenty year old kid and I was so overraaed with meating him. But my thing is I will tell the person what I think and how great they are if I think they're truly brilliant person. I'll go, No I think you're fucking amazing. Thank you for this or well done for or whatever. And that's for how I compensate. Whereas I think you compensate. yours is a better way of doing it. I think your you handle it in a more aloof way that people go, Oh fuckking he's a cool character. even though I think you're probably going through the same sentiment. But if like somebody E like sometimes people like to be told that somebody's a fan of theirs, right? So they're getting that from from you, or is they' not getting that from me No, but I think that that's the difference between is I think But then you maintain a place of being like if you met Decklan, by, even though he's just being one of the most instrumental people in winning you the league and is now going to be an arsenal fucking legend And you have met D. I know you've met, you know you've If you were to see him, it I think you wouldd be an even kill I would still be he's this and I'm aid. Well, hed be he'd not want to say later now, would he? I think you'd still be sweet. I think I don't think you'd spend any time talking to me He go this would be what would happen if he walk in and seees both. He go He definitely go, Hey man, how are you? you right? for R And that would be it That's what I think would happen. I don't think. And I'd just sort of go and then have to sort over and chat said you know Make a fucking fool of myself in front of Gabriell or Siliba or something like that Yeah, Well anyway, the point is, I'm not going to invite you to the Ns off ser h guys, my question is, do your kids ever do anything where you don't know whether to laugh or be terrified of the small human you created. For example, this is drawing my six year old Matilda did when she woke up. It's her ripping a mall out apart with her bare hands because of quote, she's angry about ducks In case there wass any doubt, she's clearly labeled the duck severed body parts did I not consider therapy for my child, love the pod. I never miss an episode. Well, I would suggest you miss a couple Helen Farmer, the concerned koala. Let's have a look at the picture. Oh wow that's mine by the way. Helen Farmer, the concerned koala Oh, you know, that's a great picture It's not just feet and ahead, is it Where's the rest of it I'd be more concerned about her lack of understanding of anatomy, really? She's six? I don't think that is something to be frightening. I think it's hilarary. I think's really great. I think it's funny. I think I think it's really funilgence. Yeah, it's good. Mike iss always drawing stuff like peoplee being beheaded and stuff like that. Grace constantly draws me being pooed on, that's thing at the moment. Yeah And Charlie, our youngest often draws a picture of me dead and he's standing on top of my body and he's like got my head like this and he's like, fuck you daddy. It's like fun, isn't It's funny. Yeah. And you should get that toad on your leg. Yeah, and it's just funny. it's good times I't's coming to. I't think there's anything dark about it. can dady have a kiss. And then I say to him, what's this picture? and he says out the titles on the back and it says My wish is made true. Cool It's cool,' cool. I don't there' anything wrong with that. then he debags you in front of the whole of the school. Yeah. Anyway, that is the end. He doesn't, by the way, just to be clear, he doesn't do anything No I wanted you to see where you' going to take that Thank you so much