The Philosophical Meaning of Eggs

The owl has got your essence. What does that mean? It's just got this cool, calm, collected sort of like don't mess with me kind of vibe. And sort of your eyebrows as well. What I'm really happy about is they didn't just make this eyebrow go across their lines. Yeah. Do you know how many people do that when they send pictures of us? Well, they like putting a picture Yeah, the eye . Yeah, I don't think it's nice and I've heard that many times . Yeah , what do you want? Beacle jaws, stevers or fur, sharp teeth or feet with flaws, whatever's preferred . Just kidding every word in his songs about you grown men dressed up as a bird and a dog. Anyway, so here we are. Very nice man. Very good. Excited . Very excited. I have this weird thing with excitement. I don't know how to deal with it . Like it, it looks like you're dealing with it pretty fine. No, but I feel like it's like what something really nice happens, you worry that it's gonna be over. Yeah. You know, like when you get a nice cake, you don't want to eat it for a while 'cause you worry about just having the crumbs left off. I'm gonna tell you a really sad story . So when I was a kid , what do you lau forgh that? So when I was a kid , I was desperate for a television. Yeah, I was quite a sport as a kid. You carried that energy into being an adult in some ways. Being spoiled. Yeah. Do you think so? There's a wife. Well no just like I'm gonna get what I want . Like you know the little girl out of Willy Wonka and Charlie Fattery Charlie Fatry, Charlie Fattery Violet Baragon. Yeah, yeah. Do you think I've got a violent energy? You've got violet in you. Yeah. Okay, so anyway, so I'd begging for a TV. Eventually my parents relented, got me TV and they put it up on like a gymy, there's that sort of arms that come out there. Wow, for that's bougie. No, but it's not nineteen eighty five, eighty six . eighty eight, eighty eight. eighty eight, yeah. You've been fourteen? Why are you doing this? It's the only time I'm really good at math. Yeah. So anyway, I had the TV. Yeah. I was really into raisins . Raisins . What's the food? Raisins? Well, what's the other option? By the way,is Rinas were big characterss when we were kid because they had that advert, didn't they? Yeah, I heard it through the gravy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wasn't into there. Just no , that's the other option. So you're lying there, so you're eighty eight, you're nine, right? ten. ten. Yeah, right. And you're lying there just scoffing back at raisins looking at the TV on it. But TV's on the arms, that is bougie back there. No, not like it's like a real cheap like Like it doesn't I'm making it sound bougie than it is. It's not bougie. It's like a little back of the screen. You're talking a TV. No, but it's like I'm not have an actual full size. It's like a little portable TV. Yeah. And then it's on like a little arm that my dad had screwed into the wall , like a little hinge thing. Okay. It does not look bougie. I'll be honest with you. If I use a word for it, in sell . Right, right. So I had that arm and I was and my mum had bought me a big tub of raisins , right ? And I was lying in bed , TV there. I was watching a film. Yeah , just up in my room, right? So the first early days of watching not having to be in the living room to watch TV, right? For me? You're ten. Yeah. Sitting eating the raisins, watching a film and I was so this is such a sad story . I'm so happy that I'm watching a film eating raisins in my own room that I started to think life can't be like this forever and I started crying I had no idea . Can you what ? And thankfully nobody came to speak to me because if I would say like Charlie , my youngest is about that age now, right? Yeah. If I saw him crying in his room, eating and I went up to him and I went, May, you're okay, what's up? I just don't know if life's always gonna be as happy as this. I would fucking call somebody. I'd cry myself. If I went to number one, can I just say I don't think I've really ever had a moment like that? Which I mean got right this is it. This is by the way that could have been you like that pursuit of happiness Yeah that could have been it for you. That was the obviously you've had great time since, but that 's I don't know. If you're talking about like, you know, people talk about happiness index. What was the film by the way? I don't wanna talk about what the film was basic instinct. No . Not the same No, it wasn't basic instinct . What made you go to basic instinct? Just the way that you didn't want to talk about it. It was because it was fistful of dollars . I was really into Westerns really ? You're just massively in a Glint Eastwood . I loved Glint Eastwood films when I was about that age. We'll tell you yeah. VHS or just it was just on . I think it might have been on. I didn't have a video. Wow . You know, I never thought you would . It's a quite a dark store, isn't it? The ingredients of it, a kid eating some raisins watching a Western film. That sounds like quite a light story. You do a little bit of scratch beneath the surface. It's actually incredibly fistful of dollars. What happens in that one? Isn't that with this is really I think the bad guy's called Ramon F inisfiller Dollars . And you could play Ramon there. Well, it's funny, say that, Tom . So I liked that film so much, my dad started calling me Ramon . Like just around the house. And but then obviously you got into such a habit of calling me Ramon that one day came to pick me up from school and he said Ramon . And then obviously I got absolutely fucking hammered. Did you used to talk about your adulation like for Western film school. Publicly no. Was it Mucky? I like Westerns as a kid though. Yeah, I don't know. I sort of kept my opinions to myself about stuff like that. Really? I think I was embarrassed. Opening it now. Now, yeah, do you think I'm opinionated? Well, you have opinions and you let them. So does everybody else? No, no, but I don't think I'm that front footed about my opinions. No, I wouldn't I would say that. I always thought you'd be a little boy at school who'd be like, you know , yeah, I love westerns and all that there'd be a conversation with someone going, Hey man, has anybody who's seen back to the future? And you're like, have you seen fish for the dollar? Where am I at school first of all? Hey man . Where's this school? In Cruley. Right. There's just one kid who was just probably into by the way, don't fucking make it like I wasn't back into back to the future. Stars . I want you a bit passionate on that. That was he didn't last Starsar W, wasn't it? I had it Mine styles. I found it one note at the time. Star Wars is one note. I was just like how is it one note? Because the good guys are all like so fucking prevalent and so like at times I'm like what do you mean giveiv a story chart? Ges a story . Can I tell you something? This is another perfect example of you just deciding on an opinion . You've walked into the opinion shop and you've taken you've got a cover the good guys are too prevalent in Star Wars opinion. I'll take that. You got no backup argument. There's nothing. We know nothing of the stormtroopers and where they're from. And actually, there's quite a lot of information would suggest a lot of them are probably sort of like get jobs with stormtroopers . They're not particularly well treated. It's like there's a part me and goes Ashley I want to know a little bit about them and what's going on behind the scenes like a storm troop drain that happens in later films. Really? Yeah. Yeah, but this good guy good's guys being stormtroopers. It's all like, you know , the handsome cool ones. At no point is it, you know, suggested that there's any good guys or bad guys. There's the Empire and there's the rebellion. Who are the come on Wh?o are the good guys? are Wh theo bad guys ? That's up to you to decide. So is anyone in I grew up thinking Darth Vader's got a point . Why? Just you know, you need to squash something. What you're doing now is you've been a little rascal . You've been very remoe. No one's watching that going on, poor old Darf Yeah. I doubt you think it's very like sort of like emasculating when they pull off his mask at the end. Emusculating I don't know if emasculating the right way, but it's very like just doing private me. Well, he what do you mean? He is in private . He's by the way, do you think Star Wars is a documentary ? It's just him there for everyone to see like that, right? Or did he throw them out of the back of the vessel . The vessel? No , it's a very private moment. I always thought there was other people here. He doesn't screw up . Chop his head off and put it on display. Did he take him back to the bonfire that they all have? The bonfire? The party they have with EWOX. What's going on? No, does he 's on another planet by the way? Does he take his dad back? His ghost turns up, doesn't he? Oh, I thought he took his dad back there and showed everyone. I don't know. I haven't watched that film for probably twenty years, but I was sort of turned back and watched it for a while . He turned a big bump, a dark web version Talk about the bit where like Leyers do reverse cowgirl and lock . No , when they turn up, I always thought it was like, Hey everybody, look at this. Sorry, your recollection of that scene is that Luke turns up with the body of his father and throws him on the fucking bomb fire. That's like I thought that's what happened. He turned up and everyone was like, have you killed Darfiner? He's like, Yeah, I got him. And yeah, I got him. And then he threw him on the but he's also my father . And he was your dad as well. This is what that sort of thing is dangerous to me because you vividly that's what you're recommending. Yeah, that's why yeah. I haven't watched it for years. Yeah. Anyway, why did he talk about Star Wars? Oh yeah, because it makes it feels like that's the thing most of the kids like in your class would have been watching rather than just for the dollars. But actually you're quite highbrow as a kid. Why? Well, Fisher dollars was it? It was just the Western cowboy film wasn't it? It's actually, I think it's an Oscar winner movie, if I'm honest. Fifthwit, yeah. What were you into at ten . Well, ironically pretty style. Well, back to the future, Tim Wolf . Like I liked I liked a movie even still do like where you know sort of like the underdog comes well , you know, and sort of you know, you could watch it. Stuff like set around a school where I always to this day have that sort of inner hope. I always used to hope that something you'd be that sort of smelly sort of outclass kid and then always imagine that that dream was easy to achieve, wasn't it? And then what was the other ? Going so easily. No, but that one day that people would find you cool and so you're like, have you ever seen Greece two? That's probably my favorite film. That's a good film. I loved Greece too. That thing of coming good and suddenly everybody thinks you're cool. It's a toxicating story. imagine that. I realized that like wear this is so sad. But I used to wear like quite cool t shirts to bed when I was a kid in my head like one day like I don't know, all of the kids would be demanded to come out in the middle of the night and like meet up. And then oh my god, you wear that to bed and what am I? Wow, that's to be fair. It was a psychopath. I had a weird thing for quite a while as an adult I used to sort of just in case the house got broken into , like wear sort of clothes that made me look sort of like, you know , quite cool . Like so it's a bed. Yeah, like if the house got broken into, that's why I never sleep naked because I don't want to confront a burger and I'm naked. And there's a moment where it's terrifying and then he just laughs. Yeah. I don't think I look threatening naked. I look straight away. You can who looks threatening naked, do you think? I think if you've got a six pack and a big dick , you look threatening. I think the rock would look quite I think if you saw the rock if you broke into the rocks house and he came out and he went, What the fuck you doing? It's more like the mega who are we doing? It's a gut. It's all hairy. It's literally the sort of missing link between man and ape. Yeah, but I think that's more frightening because you know what they're gonna do. What? Like if the rock comes out what do you do? Just throw a fucking car at the geyser. Like, you know, wow, that's such a stand up joke. But I'm just saying, like, no, if you are you telling me, right? Or okay I even think if you robbed the Beckham's house and he was naked he'd like not terrified he just got it all together and Beckham walked up but naked and went What are you doing? You'd be terrified. He probably wouldn't say by, the way that I think his voice has become more manly . And I feel like he's got a more like husk to him now. Have you seen what he's done to his face? No, no, he's had it like it. He's had like fillers and shit. Yeah. Would you have plastic surgery? No . Ever. No. But you've told me that you'd have hair plugs. I've thought about hair plugs differently. But then I would how is it different? Oh, he's had hair plugs, I think. Beckham? Yeah, if you look at his violence that isn't that massive. Have you had hair blocks? No, I'm not got hair blocks, but I would consider I would consider it. Look, can you say here? Oh, my heart blades for you. You got a millimeter? Look, I've literally it's all to say. Everything. There's nothing. Well, what do you get? You know what you could get? Have you considered getting a stubble tatted on? Like Chrisy Bank, do you? Yeah. Has he? I think that's what he's got here. Okay. Have you thought about no? 'Cause I think that would look awful. By the way, I've just been doing that. You know, a twenty sixteen thing that people are doing where people look ten years later Instagram. Yeah, I've actually been sent a photo . This is ten years ago. Yeah. Yeah. So I didn't know about this twenty sixteen thing. Yeah . Charlie Bak er sent a photo from twenty sixteen . I'm not going to tell you anything about this photo. I just want to see what your reaction is. You ready? Yep It's actually quite sweet. You look like you're in like a nineties American sitcom lake. Tom, let's see. Can I say you're in two of mine from twenty sixteen ? And they're actually two of my favourite photos of my life. So twenty sixteen weirdly is kind of the birth of the Wolfen Out in some senses. Why? I think I did hip hop save your life in twenty sixteen. Yeah . I'm sure I know this photo. This is actually a really lovely photo of us. I think that's a beautiful photo of us . That was we did this podcast together. So that's ten years ago. And then also that year we did the comedy store together. Yeah. You're really, really supportive of you are so sweet and this is actually January one of my favorite pictures of I think that's a really sweet picture of this. Oh gosh it is sent off our relationship that look how happy I am to do this should be in the Daily Mail and the caption is they did both end up dying virgins So good, so good, so good . New summer arrivals are at Nord strom Rack Stores now. 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You know, I got so accustomed to you with a beard and I enjoyed the beard, loved the beard, loved the beard here. Yeah, he didn't mind on any thoughts, did you? And now I look at you. I don't know this. It feels like you've I don't know you've progressed into this guy who's been brave enough to have this moustache. Brave is not . Yeah, but I had it with a baby. I'm not saying brave and I'm making you out to be like, you know, like a fireman. Yeah, by the way, fireman, I met this fireman. I think I talked about him before here before. I was in Cambridge. I met this fireman. He had a mustache. He was the sexist guy. This is when you got stuck in the travel off toilet. No I have been stuck in the toilet . Yeah, I'm calling me on surprise. What happened? Did I hate to tell you about when I had to retrieve that person from the broke I'd got some of a toilet toilet cubicle. No . I was in a pub years ago. I went for a week, was washing my hands and the voice was like, help, help I'm stuck in a toilet. And I was like , okay, let me the only one in the pub? Yeah, this point. No, not in the pub. There's other people. I was the only one in the toilet. I'm sorry. So I got toilet door and I was like, What's your name? Are you okay? And they're like, Martin? I was like, it wasn't Martin. By the way, I'm absolutely why the fuck you asking him his name If you never say that, the first thing you have to do is find someone's name in any kind of distress. It's not distress in a toilet cubicle.. He's distressed He's locked in the toilet cubicle. You know what's happening there could be his daughter's birthday. I just think you're right. If you're approaching it like somebody you've seen someone on a ledge, right? Like just he can't get out of the table. I don't know how long he's been there. He just practiced courage to say something. Fine, right? Fine. So I'm like, Martin, are you okay, mate? You're all right? And he's like, yeah, yeah, I can't get out. I'm stuck. I can't get out of the same room with the lock and the door. I can't get out. So I was like, let me direct quiet. Well, yes, I moved a few years ago and I was drunk. And I was like, okay, let me try and get out. So I said, Mike, how far back can you stand from the toilet door? And he was like, I'm quite a big chap. I'm you know struggling to get too far back. I went the only way that is a smart question by the way. Yeah, exactly. Thank you. I went the only way I'm going to do this is ite pretty horrible . I just saw your face display a little bit of pride there off the back of the compliment, but anyway, carry on. So I'm like thank you . I tell man and I'm like, a cut of big kicks should see this door go through. Okay . So I give it two big ones, two big kicks , you know, like Hulk Hogan size sort of kicks. Yeah , big foot kicks. And that won't budge and I'm like fucking this door. I said, Martin, we got a buddy, we've got one inmate this door. I've given it two kicks. He said, I heard them. They're big kicks, right? By now there's a few more people there. Why listen to true story? Yeah, that's where more people have turned up now , right? And why? Because they're close toilet off. I can't close the toilet off wish I had. There's more people here and I'm like, you know, I'm telling everyone, this is Martin and he's stuck in the toilet trying to get him out. So now I'm going to go to for have a full shoulder barge . I literally run at the door with all of my pace, I smash through the door , clear Martin, like push kind of past Martin as I come through and nearly full faced person to modern shit He hasn't flushed a toilet. Sorry, who's trying to leave a toilet before flush it? , no, no , no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. What fuck you talking about? He's got flushed it it.. He's left He's gone to go out of the toilet. How did you discover that the toilet can't get out of toilet? I don't know what you know how many pub toilets have been in the flush has gone? seventeen. We must know the answer to any question? There's loads of tours you go, the flush isn't working. Yeah, okay. So the flush might not be working. Might try ? Fine. No, do you know what? I've come into this quite punchy. Yeah. Punchy air about you know. You're absolutely right, right? And also by the way, I apologize. I'm like there 'cause I've gone through such veracity through the door . Martin's by the way been clumped by the door and he's quite sort of squeezed out in. Was there toilet tissue in there? Yeah, yeah, he wiped his bum.. Okay . Yeah Yeah. And I think he'd also wipe his bum and done that thing where you like , you know, almost like in a dark fader way like left a little couple of bits of toilet roll just on the top to almost disguise it. That didn't look like it had been taken because I got quite close. They didn't like you. You just trying to figure out why that's called the Darth Vader thing. No. You know, like, you know, like in a film where someone dies and they pull like a like a little rug over them or something. Yeah, yeah, okay. I don't think it's for the turd's dignity. No, other people have got to see a dead body stroke. Right . Right? So I've now tried to get up and I went back here on him . And yeah . And then what did he say? He was was he quite thankful. We're quite tied up together. I have to go out and then I sort of did a thing when he came out I sort of made a joke with him about washing his hands and I'll wash mine as well and then I did a thing later on . This is back with the day where I was a bit more I'd have a few drinks of me and I used to try to sort of be sort of have a laugh and now sort of I thought and now I know yeah, so happening. And then went back to the people he was drinking with his family and he was, yeah . And I would go over every now and again . I know this is going to be so tragic . Because I was sort of drinking with just a couple of mates that you know that if you've ever been in a public, you're drinking with a couple of people and conversation has become a bit dryer because you're drinking the same you drink with the same people every night . Martin and his family became like almost my new playg round, right? So I'd go over to Martin and he'd be sitting with his family and I'd go alright, watch this one if he probably tries to go to the toilet again . He got his little float. Oh God, I can't even say I it, feel that. You got himself tonight on Cuba, wouldn't you mind? And he goes He go, yeah, yeah, thanks for sorting that out. And I'd just go rather watch him and then I'd sort of try to make a few jokes and wow just Just sometimes at Martin's expense sort . This is so sad, man . This is why well the reason I gave up drinking was that I used to sort of find it one of my favorite tricks when I used to drink was always like I'd find a group of people and go up and go Hello Mate How are you? And then the person would go, Oh , hit that they wouldn't know I was . So I'd then spend the whole night just going Oh do you remember Bob Bob? And then yeah, yeah. Sorry Tom Tom Tom were you turning up to the pub on your own and doing this ? I used to go to the public with my own quite a lot . It's so tragic . It's arguably more tragic than you watching a fistful dollars of raisins, but yeah, I used to so what you do you go, I'm just gonna go to the pub of my own and I'm gonna go for a pub of my own. I was gonna pop I was on my own. I didn't have a relationship at the time. So Tom. And I have sort of there's no difference in what we're both saying. I didn't go out of the pump my own I was going to popping down a pump on my own. It's the same fucking puff. You went to the pumpkin. The way I saw it is the bath fucking honestly tragic . Oh I didn't think this was this tragic until I'm about to say out loud. The most surprisingly amount of stories that you did not think it was tragic up until now . A lot of the time. I don't think there's anything tragic about going to the book? I don't, but this is no, I don't. Is the stuff that you reason when you go? Yeah, can I just know? Because my thought process was like, I know most of the bar staff, so I'm never actually on my own. I'd always have a chat with them. So I'd sort of turn up and you know , I sort of by the end I'd go to the pub every night the week. I was living on my own at the time or living with a mate and I'd quite often sort of know people's roads as a pop Kef's not working tonight. Hello mate, yeah. Oh, your new ear, new face and then try and talk . I do take a lot of pride in being a local in a lot of different pubs I've got to be honest with you. When you initially started to tell answer, I thought it's sad. Not sad pathetic, not pathetic. But I used to I used to think part of the furniture. Yeah, but think about it. If we look at it like from a caring point of view . Yeah. You were living on your own. Yeah. You wanted a bit of company. Yeah. You went down to the pub . And the staff would like be it's quite a sweet . One of my favorite . What used to love is the different people you meet and treat with a guy called Martin No Pence at least to sort of he was the first person I ever knew that went commando . Like legitimately didn't run under pence. It's a shame for Martin So you were good friends with him . I knew well enough . You know this guy Martin. Yeah . And he has his thing where he doesn't wear any underwear and he seems to say, I wonder what my nickname would be Commando . Rawdog ? No , Martin No pants . 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Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Ebglus. Before starting EBGLS, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection. Ask your doctor about Eblis and visit ebglist. Lily d comot or call one eight hundred Lily RX or one hundred five nine seven nine I see you. Avatar Fire and Ash is now streaming on Disney plus . It's the film critics are calling the best Avatar yet. A true epic and completely jaw dropping. This is the only pure thing in this world. Return to Pandora on Disney plus. It will be an adventure for the whole family and watch the Oscar winning phenomenon at home. This is Avatar Fire and Ash, now streaming on Disney plus ready PG thirteen . What else is going on in your life? Well, what else is going on in your life? And I'm slightly nervous to say this because I've got to be honest with you , I think I've come into this in quite a bit I've just been to the dentist. Yeah, you're a dentist. And quite a traumatic episode. Yeah . At the dentist , like where they were like you know, if you imagine this is like the side of my mouth I had to really get in there. Really good. Yeah. You know, when they really like her mouth. Yeah, and they try to get to the yeah. Yeah, well, you've got jowls as well. No, I' justm saying yeah, of course . But like, you know, when they're like really burious and trying to get in there, so I've had quite a and I feel like it's affected my self. It made me a bit spiky, you know what? Yeah, of course I'd take a painkiller when I left because I said you're going to feel some residual kind of ache. By the way , like you had invisible done, right? Your teeth look beautiful. You still have been to go to the dentist. You've had so many problems . Well, actually this is not something I've admitted publicly , but one of the major problems has been completely of my own doing. What's the case ? So basically, this is quite embarrassing actually. I had like an issue with my tooth like up here and I needed to have like a crown put on it or whatever . And so they had to like, you know, I've got a problem with going to the dentist. Yeah. Hence a general dentist. Yeah. Shout. So I had like a temporary thing put on. Yeah. And the temporary thing's supposed to last two weeks until the actual crown comes back. Right . And then they fit the actual proper crown . So I had the temporary thing put on and that I didn't go back for three years. What? You've had that go manki in brought No, they don't go Mankey, but they but what happens is they've like prepared it to be like properly protected they put a temporary thing on there. Then I've used that like it's a permanent thing and then I made the problem worse. Oh my god and then to so basically the reason I've had to go back is my own doing. So now is it done there or you ? Mate, I've literally just had my last treatment. Wow. I'm just I'm hygien ist and nothing baby. Is that though? Because the trouble is dental wires. I mean, your teeth look amazing. Do you think so? Yeah, nice. All completely veneered now. Can you tell us? Veneers? Yeah. I didn't think I thought it was a fizzline. No. So you got those horrible shave there . Oh , they're worse, by the way. What I'm just I'm just sad and my mate's got those and he's three of his front teeth have fallen out and now he told me we wanted to get it done. He's not got the money. He's off vanished. He's just got three nubs where his teeth used to be. Yeah, 'cause I have to shave it down. Yeah. But he hasn't got the money to repeat he was doing alright, cracking on through life, had all his teeth done with the nubs , his three of these teeth have fallen out and now he's really struggling. How close I see with them? We're not close enough on paying for free teeth. Why not? Somebody you know has got nubs. Can I say Blue I've already lent him money before and never got it back. I wouldn't say I wouldn't call this a loan then if that makes you feel bad. Yeah, I'm not paying for his teeth. The guy you know is a mate of yours walking around with that front teeth. You know, I've had bits and bobs, you know, it's like losing hair , right? It's actually sort of it's the makeh of the man . I don't think having missing front teeth is the makeith of the man. No, it's this one. It's got that one missing. That's front, that one. That's front. I think it's front. You get more and more front. There's three fronts. Yeah, yeah. So lent him money. He didn't pay me back. Like I lit him like three years ago, never paid me back . And in that time he had had his teeth done, went to Turkey, had other stuff done. Yeah. He 's qu liiteved the vibr ant lifestyle. And now literally he is in a situation where I'm going to lend him more money. Has he asked you for the money? Well, he's hinted at it. Right, what did he say? How did he hint? Well, we've been out. Imagine I'm Tom Davis and you're where are we ? Let's say we are at the bowling alley. Okay. Bowling alley. Yeah. We've decided to meet up. We wanted to do something different because we keep going out for drink. You don't drink? Yeah. So drink It's safe. Well, you said it's a veneer's thing. Yeah, veneers. All right fine. So we're at the bowline alley. Okay. We're next to each other on the thing and like I don't know . Oh, Tom, nice strike. You're the best bowler I've ever seen. Thanks man, folks. You're a nice one. Look really good as well. Look nice. Thanks man, appreciate that. Folks so much. It's in a world where things get more and more difficult, you can only hope that your sortorial kind of influence can help make things a little bit happier for people. You know, often I will be walking on the road and someone will see me in a new jacket or something and I think you know what? I've made their day a little bit better. So a lot of people consider sort of dressing well a thing that affects you, but I often consider it something that affects everyone around you. You know, sometimes you might walk into a sandwich shop and somebody sees you walk past and they go, you know what? I came in there for a little bit of crust. Now I've got myself a little bit of self esteem. Thanks to that fella right there. Do you know I figured I might buy myself a jacket like that and I might feel better about myself. So in many ways, you consider it me attiring myself with investments of somebody that's successful, but actually what I'm doing is enabling other people to be more successful in their own existences . Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's what I was thinking. Long story short. By the way, while you were talking, I went and got a cup of drinks. I didn't miss hearing everything that you said. Wow, it's incredibly wrong. Oh my God, it's going to be so painful drinking this ice cold coca cola with three teeth missing . Do you need a straw? No, no, no, no, no, it should be fine. Stupid teeth. What was even thinking? Yeah, why did you get veneers , Mike? Well, I don't know, you probably had to put it better than me because you're brighter and more intelligent, but What made you get veneers? We remember how bad my teeth used to be? No . Well, they were terrible. Right. Yeah. I didn't have a toothbrush until I was fourteen, so and then basically I just had no way my birthday that wasn't it? Yeah, it was. Actually, it wasn't my birthday was when my dad got out of prison . When your dad got out of prison, he bought you a toothbrush. No, he was the only thing he brought back from prison. Okay, where'd you feel that'd have been? I'm not sure but one end of it was really sharp The other end spelt like someone's anus, I imagine. Yeah, weirdly so . Yeah, so but they say you'll never get those first years of cleaning your teeth back under my homeless glass . And yeah, so my teeth were they never stood a chance really . So and then I got those veneers down and felt really good about myself. Yeah, I can imagine you did know great venue. I mean, I did say to you they've got to take that summer of the enamel down and there's a health repercussion to that. And I often say to people, you know , if vanity a thousand pounds have my teeth down, can I borrow a thousand pounds of my teeth redund, please? Well, listen, I'll tell you this . You know, we struggle, we toil. I don't know if I ever mentioned it off I don't know if I've mentioned it this afternoon. I certainly do talk about it all the time. I used to be a scaffolder . And used to work on a site . Is that how much you can have cost? So I mean, he said it would be a grandier. He was telling someone else. How close are you to giving him that money? I'm not close. Genuinely I lent him money before . Yeah Because he was in a bit of a dye strait. He was going through a bit of a tough time. I lent him money. We spoke. I'm like, here we go. And it's this is a loan. I've got enough money. I could just freely give it to people. Yeah . And then when he was doing really well for himself, I'd be out of him and he'd be buying drinks and he'd be in. And did you ever mention it at that point? But then it's awkward, isn't it? He's designed clothes head to toe, driving a brand new motor. So it's awkward then to just turn around and go awkward . So it was sort of it was very frivolous with his money. Yeah. I'm sorry about that, Matt. Yeah, well that is what it is, but now , you know, it's maybe a metaphor for life . In what way? Well, like don't always It's the grasshopper and the ant, isn't it? Is it teeth The ant's missing some teeth. No, isn't it the thing where like isn't the story of the grass off from the ant? Can we look up the grass off from the ant please? It's like, do you know Esop's fables? No . What's Esop's fables? You got so theatre these days? I'm not theat.re Esops fables is like what was the grasshopper and the ant? The ant and the grasshopper there you go. Fables describes how a hungry grasshopper begs for food from an ant when winter comes and is refused. I've not really gotten into the whole story . Anyway, one of them works through one of them stores food during the summer and the grasshub is fucking around . Yeah , and the ants like picking up stuff and putting it in like a store and the grasshubs are gone are you sad little Why don't you just enjoy yourself? The ants going to just put some stuff together and then the grasshops are going fucking dickhead. Yeah, and then it gets to winter. Ant's got shit loads of stuff. You're the ant? Yeah. Probably I was also by the way of the grasshopper before my life, so yeah, yeah , but I'm not in a situation now on giving this guy a money , but you could do it. You're doing really well. I'm not doing well enough that I can do it. I mean, look, you know, you got a nice house . Look, you know what happened? You're so worried that I was going to like pull out your tax return or something. You fucking knocked the statue . You've been in films . You're in sitcoms. This is doing alright as you can tell. That didn't come cheap, right? Yeah. Yeah. You're on tour? Also I don't we don't know about Raid Days. I'm not if I if want I to want to lend someone money and help them out it's going to be someone I look and go you know what they'd look after me if I went for a tough time Well I don't think that's the way you should give . Really? So you don't think if I look at it and go okay I've given this guy money . He didn't look after him. He's not fretted away. He's fritted it away. Also fritted a lot of other money away . Right . And then I'm going to go back in and give him more money and then when he does well again, which inevitably will, he's one of those people who's very much he's a roller coaster kind of guy. He's a rolling kitten. He's up and down , right? He's not going to then go when he's got his new teeth, he's not going to go remember every time he looks at the mirror going to I actually T wasomas talked me out these. Tell me , that's not the reason you do it. The reason you do it is to repair his teeth. No, but also yeah, but yeah, you do that once and then if you lend someone money , if I went here , here we go. Here's this. Yeah, this is a gift for me to you . Or if he went, can you can you give this to me? Can I have this? Yeah. And I went there we go. But he was like, can you I'll sort you out when I've got it? I'll sort you yet. And then to always when you're out to see them showing off and then never once go, I Oh',ve got you for that thing. I won't forget that. I don't do it for that, but I do find it as a thing of right . Where do you live? No, no, no judgment here. I get it, you know, if the guy doesn't thank you or whatever. No, no, thanking me. It's the fact that he's not. He's not remembering it nobody. He's not remembering that. He's not going. I'll hear by the way, you've just had a kid. And I'm like, yeah, not necessarily at the time doing that well for myself. Upson downs this game, baby. No, I get it. That's f ine. Yeah, well it's about that time, Tom for you. Okay get into the actually, before we do get into it, I'm really sorry to do this, but before we do get into this, We digress from what I wanted to talk about. Yeah, okay. You're wearing jeans. Yeah. can't think of the last time . Well, I know I've seen you wear jeans before . This style of jean. Yeah. I don't think I've ever seen you wear. Can you talk me through it please? I saw Jacob Aldi in a pair and I really liked what he was doing with him. Jacob Lordi's become my guru . He's a big guy. He's tall. Yeah, I look at him. Where did you see him wearing these jeans? I think it was somewhere in the world. What are these jeans? What make? No, like what is the star? What'd you call this? I think it's like a boyfriend cut type thing thing . I think you something like that. I like it. Yeah. A boyfriend come. Yeah, yeah. And what's that like? What is that wash? It's like this is like an acid wash isn't it? Yeah, that's what I was wondering but then, I don't want embar torass myself by saying that. That's acid wash right? Yeah, yeah. What's your feeling of it? Do you think I'm too old for jeans? No, of course you're not too old Sixty year olds love jeans, isn't they? Yeah. But I think no, I think it's good. My question to you is, you're a bit of a clove source. I love my clothes. Yeah, you love your clothes and you always look good. Today included. Go on . But like, do you get like so for example, you must have known this is a bit of a different gene for you. Yeah. Was there any Katherine hates them ? She's not a fan. What did she say? She just was like, Oh my go if I put these on and we were going out for a date or we were going to go out for a better lunch she would let you wear though. She goes, you know, wear nice. Why? What's the issue with it? She's just she doesn't vibe with them . Whereas I quite like them. also And I've always liked to pick up a little piece where you just go this is a bit different. Yeah. But is there then any nerves when you wear them out? Like when you came here today Oh, in what sense of people laughing at? No laughing. I'm not saying laughing. When you wear something stuff that's like back in the day, I remember buying a pair of leather trousers. I think I've talked about this on here before. I got coerced coerced into wearing that I was in Sutton in a place called Times Square they, used to have a clothes shop there . And this guy that Satan's got a Times Square burning. Yeah. He was called Slick, and he used to run a remember , but used to run. It's called Cloeshop. Is that the one just down from the Empire State Building . And look at this guy . And he and he had these like faux leather trousers size pleather, yeah. And he went these would be oh he's like basically I went in for a pair of jeans and he was like oh no these would be great for you. You look amazing in these dude you look sick in these man and I was like I was serious and so I tried them on and I wasn't sure. were They quite tight ple,ather . And him and his guy who works, I think it was called Ferraz. We was called Ferraz. And they were like, Oh man, you know at the boards, brother, you gonna fucking smash it. We go tonight was up in Croydon. And they're like, Oh mate, they're literally like and they were like sixty quid and I was like, you know, so I brought them with a you remember those like Versace sort of like black t shirts Fucking hell. They sell me one of those as well. And don't think what that look is . I think it's a look. I think it's sort of like if you're about turning up to bloor inkid nineteen ninety eight, yeah. So you all them. Everyone else you're in Probably a Pair Patrick Cox, Wannabes. Oh my god, with leather trousers. Yeah. Okay, gone. So then what was the reaction? Could I just say everyone else in my head and probably yours as well? Pretty much there was a uniform back then. Father ones like a smart shirt. Yeah, like a smart shirt, usually quite big fitting . Maybe Harrington. Yeah, Patrick Cox Wannabe's or Rebor Classics, it was Spray's Jupe . Yeah, so it was a big, big move . And yeah, I remember turning up. We all can't remember the bar usedb toie go and turning up to meet your mates for the first time in leather trousers. Yeah . Jesus, you have to give yourself a fucking pep talk in the mirror before you go. But I turned up thinking up 'cause I'm so I'm so influenced by what other people think. Yeah, you're dropping off the compliments. Yeah . Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't wait to get them on. Yeah, yeah . And I remember getting off the train . They were getting off the train at West Guardian and people like Wolf Ristlin. Like walking past a group of I mean, I'm seventeen eighteen at the time walking past a group of sort of propages and go you go babe? Did any alarm bell start ringing at that point? No, but I use my head just think I'd just, yeah jealous . Jealous. Oh, oh yeah, they just haven't banned it. I've been too bad. I bet they haven't got six grid for a pinch. But also just thought that someone, you know, it was I've remember being do you know they actually the word? I mean rinse by a group of girls in a kebab shop after with them on. It was yeah. Kebab shop after is when you were I got rinsed. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I told you about when I wore the bandana. Yeah. Of course. Nice tea towel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the yeah, it's a it's a real it's a real place if you want to level it. Yeah, you and also they 've often got like, it's all mirror. Yeah. So often it's like two o'clock in the morning and then you see what happens about eat. I forgot never like I was dancing quite seriously. I remember getting a really, really sweaty bum. Oh man, this is so hard for me . In the trousers? Yeah, I was like sweating everything sweating you know it's disgusting. So the sweat on my bum was like so bad. I had to go and get some napkins to give yourself like a courtesy wide. You put them between my bumshakes . So the sweat . Oh my god. You put napkins between your bumshakes . It's like a mop up thing. Yeah, it's okay. So it wouldn't be so sweaty. But I don't understand why you needed to do that. I mean, only you were getting really sweaty, but what my patterns were wet right through, Nanny. Okay , because I was dancing, right? And then I put but I was like, it's quite uncomfortable with your butt. I was trying to think of seventeen year old Jud withy a black Versace t shirt, clever trousers , wallabies , sweating his arse off just absolutely going for it like character I'll bring you flowers . I used to think because also by the way , what's insane at that time is we didn't have camera phones. So I used to really give it sometimes on the dance floor. Yeah, right. No by the way, that's a really good observation. Those were the good ideas. Yeah, dance however you want. But no one's video you and then just showed you it. Oh my god, have you seen you like that? You know, Peter, I could see people sometimes sort of staring at whatever. Nobody like videos you when you're having a nice night and you think you look good dancing and then they show you the video and then everyone starts laughing and then you go I'm going to go home and they go Don't go home Rom and you go and I'm sorry you, go D,on't go home mate and you, go . You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, that's right. Where did you get the napkins from? From the bar. Right. So you said, can I have some napkins? Yeah. Okay. And also like I had to so and then I did it. And what they wouldn't have done is thought you sweat anything. They've just looked at you and God he's got a sweaty ass crack. Also the toilet and put them in. Yeah . 'Cause do you ever go to the Broker back in the day? Yeah, yeah. Once or twice. Yeah, the toilets were quite sort of savage, you know what I mean? And also I did when I was thinking I was just sticking stuff up my bum. Yeah . So I just found a dark little corner and did it just subtly. In the corner of the club . I just did it subtle quickly like slip in and do it. And how did you feel after that? Well, to be fair, it wasn't a great, it was one of the worst inventions I've ever made because the truth is I mean, I don't think the word invent ion has been misused to that level in the history of language. Well, the truth of it is it had the opposite effect that I desired. Well , Nakin started sweating. Yeah. Fucking Ellis out there napkins then became quite drenched. Yeah, of course. And but also very much like it became almost I ended up basically with sort of like sores and like a bit of a nappy rasher on my butt it was quite a yeah, it was quite yeah Having to go in like that morning the morning on the Monday morning that goes like go to work and get some nappy ash cream. Imagine if you'd taken someone home that night? You know, the only thing I'd say is that was never on the floor that was like dancing around . This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense , there's no place like Chrome. Check responses set up required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus. Right, Tommy Day. Can you do us the honors of taking us out, please? , an egg falls on the floor smash grash. Pick it up, John. Put it in the bin. And worry about it . But what was this egg meant to be? What should it have been? Fried on someone's plate . Whisked carefully, a little bit of sugar and flour. That's a lovely cake, Melica. Thanks. I like cupcakes too . Truth is some things are cut down in the prime before they reach the things that they're going to be eggs, cats, dogs, people . It's really, really hard to look down upon the egg and not feel sad . Truth is fulfillment is everything , but what about this ? What about the journey the egg went on to get to that floor ? Maybe that was his moment . Maybe the truth was that this egg had to hit the ground just for John or whoever else to be careful with other eggs . It's to seal their fate . Sometimes in life the things that we wish we could be aren't actually things that we should be at all. So today when you're walking around and listening to his podcast or even watching it , think to yourself Am I doing the thing I should be that I'm destined to do ? Or am I just an egg on the floor looking up at a guy wondering what could have been? It's a really beautiful message and also a deep insight into our different perspectives because going on, what could the egg have have been been? It could a cake could have been a pancake, could have been not one second did you think it could have been a chicken ? Yeah, it could have gone on to lead a life Thank you so much