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You Made It Weird with Pete Holmes
Pete Holmes
AI and the Golden Calf
From We Made It Weird #254 — Jun 5, 2026
We Made It Weird #254 — Jun 5, 2026 — starts at 0:00
Lemonour You made it weird with me Holes. What's happening, weirdo? What's going on? I know I'll pause for you to answer Oh wow. Oh cool. The whole way. Wow. Okay.. Okay. And they didn't Is that Is that legal? No. no. No no, no, no you were kidding. You were kidding. off course. Now you kind of look like you weren't kidding Welcome to the show. I know I always say this. I love this one. This was unlike I don't think we've ever done one quite this level. Really? Okay, we have. I'm wondering what your're experienence. Out of hundreds. Just kind of a little bit more laid back, not the manic ranch hose that it sometimes is. I liked it. It wasved it. This one was my speed. Usually we go at your speed I'd completely agree with you. You were in your power and Oh no, Ily running point on this one. What's say? Oh, I mostly just meant like literally the speed in which I think and talk and. okay I didn't know that I was Running point Well, that might be generous. I mean, I feel like who cares? Yeah. It's a great episode. We're glad you're here. You're going see how it goes. If you just keep doing nothing, just do nothing from what you're doing right now. Yeah. If you do nothing, it's going to happen. Yeah There's two Full hours of stand upp that I've put on YouTube. One is called Silly Silly Fun Boy The newest one and then the one before that, I am Not for everyone is also on YouTube. Please check those out proud of them pells to cast on your parents is available now for pre order. It's a book And my tour dates are on Pedhomes. com I believe Aspen is selling pretty bad. So if you're somehow hearing this in the foothill foot of a mountain on your ham radio in Aspen Take off your patagonia fleece and buy a ticket And that's it. That's all I wan to plug. We're done plugging. We're done with that. done with that. Pluing. Fucking bowl. fucking bowl. All right, everybody, well Nothing left to do, but Get into it Study and play. Come together on a Windows eleven PC. And for a limited time, college students get the best of both worlds. Get the unreal college deal, everything you need to study and play with select Windows eleven PCs. elligible students get a year of Microsoft three hundred sixty five premium and a year of Xbox GamePass ultimate with a custom color Xbox wireless controller Learn more at windows d. com slash student offffer. Law Supplies last ends june thirtieth terms at aka. mS slash collllege Pc This episode is brought to you by Google Chrome. You think you know a browser, but Gemini and Chrome, that's new. It can help you with practically anything on the web, like restoring a vintage motorcycle from a fifty page restoration block or finally break down that long article you've had open for weeks. Gemini and Chrome is here for it. Ready to make anything online makes sense? There's no place like Chrome. Check responsse is set upp required compatibility and availability varies eighteen plus Hello, Daniel. Hello Daniel. Come in Daniel. Daniel. C in Daniel. Come hereel Daniel, come in here Come in here. Hey, Daniel, Bud. Dan, can you get in here? Dan Danny. Somebody named Daniel listening. Danny, get in here Daniel, Will you help me with Daniel I Daniel Dan will not come. Yeah Dan What is this? I don't know, It's our vocal warm upp. Daniel, come in here. I'm gonna I've been sleeping like absolute D shit. Yeah. D stands for doog. Yeah And I was like, I'm going to take it easy on caffeine. And then I forgot. It's the only thing that makes me feel like I live in the California dream of a maniac. A man fell asleep in California and he was mentally unsound. And he had a dream about skiing down a crystalline mountain Crystaline Mountain and he hit a jump like in the Olympics and did seven back clips and landed in a pool full of dits That's what coffee is. Wow Look, you either liked that or you didn't. It's one or the other. Nobody feels neutral about what just happened. Bro. You have one hair that's like sticking out of. D't talk abouts. it really is changing your whole look. Wha It's changing our whole Wha I can't talk about how we did But I was on Who wants to be a millionaire this week? Who wants to be a millionaire? Are you a millionaire What is the answer to the millenaire question Oh my gosh, Millionaire? How many times did you see Slum Dog Millionaire? I saw it once. I think while I was The whole world saw it once. And do you like Oh You are the only person I want to talk to. You're the only person who I can talk to. You're the only person I talk to and I'm not like, what the fuck was that only one, every morning coffee we had with friends. I'm like, what did I do And it's not just because that was an ass. It was either like N whatever. Not just because you it's not just the ahnesess. The ahic. I just want to say There's got to be a word and it's for now from now on millionaire Yeah for something that is good that you felt no need to return to And it's a millionaire. It was a cultural sensation. No one saw it twice No No one not. And when you were watching, remember in Sum Dog Melana, he jumps in the outhouse Of course So when we play first flashes and you go, you want to watch Slumdog Millionaire? Yeah. I go, oh, when he jumps in the shit and then it shows him. I know. So that I think of that I think of obviously who wants to be a millaire. I probably think of that first And then I start with that guy going who wants to be a Millau. I think of the shit a magician Yes. The house looks like a m. Yeah, totally. And you think I just kind of remember him having like maybe his hair was straightened L it doesn't look like it was Oh I thought he had like a pompador and a beard and he's l in. I think that's true, but I feel like it was stred. I don't know why. Yeah. I feel strongly about that. But the second thing I think of is them on the train because it introduced me to Paper planes by MIA, which Oh yeah I list to over and over again. Yeah, yeah U But you were on who wants to be a millionaire and you did, you did want to be a millionaire, I think, didn't you? That's hilarious. Well Jimmy Kimmel and Tig. Jimmy was hosting, Tig was roasting. Tig had never seen the show I will say this. I love that about Tig She reallyation She it's one of the many things I love about Tig She really consistently does not know any pop culture. I know. Well, you know, when they pre interviewed us for the show, they said, Is there anything you don't know anything about? And I don't think it was too in fact, I know it wasn't because they were going to cater the questions to us. It was because they like to ask that. Jimmy it's like a funny thing. Yeah. And then when it comes up, he can be like, Oh ye. But both Tig and I said pop culture. Yeah. Pop culture to me is still like oceans's eleven P culture of twenty six years ago. Yeah, yeah. Say a pop culture question, but make it mumbles. be like,ahah,ah,ah,ah. Okay, I' let this' tra so second. Steve Z on Like that's how I want to play pop culture Millena. Like when I saw Colin Jo's celebrity Jeopardy, but it's like pop culture Jeopardy, it was like never Oh wver. Wait, Colin Joost was his intestant? No, he hosts it. Oh Is't that perfect? He just said He's the joost. He's the j. Are you kidding? I'm not joasting. I don't know. I don't know The comedy central joost of Colin Rust used to be comedy Central. I did they lose grip on that They're not anymore You know this? I didn't know that. I haven't watchalerary, we're going to watch the rost of Kevin Hart. Where are we going Well, they run. You're right T you're right Like I think that's a clue. You already knew. You're right, but I guess I thought maybe Netflix like like it still was comedy central like wired it. Yeah. way I don't know how they lost it. It's like we've said this a million, but how did Skype lose time? I mean, I think I don't know how Skype lost a Zoom But I was makes perfect sense that. Comedy Central lost to Netflix It's money, baby, money, money. And nobody owns We're all going to be brutally cruel to one another. Well, somebody probably does own because it was like the Friarars Club Right Nobody owns Roasts? No I wonder whyy aren't there more roasts, like televised roasts Well, I think there are I don't know That was a weird answer. Okay. What I'm saying is I think they know how many roasts the world can handle. If you ask the internet I think they would say there's been far too many roasts. You know, I'm barely on there, but a lot of what I saw was like, oh God, another roast. Oh really Beuse it really does, like I think you could measure And I'm not anti roast In this mood that I'm in right now, I'm like, why would we ever do that But I'm in other moods Yeah. In those moods, I'll be in vow. I'll be in another mood in about eleven minutes. A hundred percent. In the course of this podcast, course of call. You'll be in three or four different moods. I'm not sure about that. I just had a pretty heavy therap. I know, which we didn't get to talk about I'm just dealing with weakness like my own Like my This, what's the word ye, I guess you could say disgust, but my intolerance of weakness. Distressed intolerance. What Distress intolerance No, I don't have distress intolerance. I'm a stand up comedian I eat distress like people eat uni. I mean, I think you eat certain types of to stress like Oib That was so fabulous. But you know, why is that so fabulous I don't mean to say I'm a tough guy. I'm not. In fact, that's the whole thing. I'm gonna to pitch you a short film, ready You meet John Hem and he is just out He's in a restaurant. Don't you love Ham in a restaurant? Yes,'s never on the menu. see I feel like like I've seen John Ham maybe four or five times. any of those are restaurants. You mean IRL Yes. You mean real life H sightings. Yes Yeah, it's one of the bigger brags of our life is that he came to that birthday. rememember? Oh my go. Our joint birthday Yeah, but What? I just have feelings about that birthday. like just because it was so fun, but Iam was there. I planned it in like a in hindsight in a fit of mania of postpartum mania. because it was six months after we had Lila. And you were turning forty and I was turning thirty. Yeah. And I was like, I think in hindsight, I realized like, oh my Godd, I was trying to like cling to my old life. Oh, you were like sending a flare up to the universe to be like, I'm still that. Yes, and like planned it like a wedding. L I mean, it was a huge party. and it was a great party But I also was like, I love my softer, bigger body postpartum but I didn't dress appropriately for it. I don't remember that. And I feel like I just like danced so hard that like I don't think anybody was like, Is Val okay? but in hindsight I was like, wasas I okay? I feel like I was really kind of trying to come to terms with the fact that I had died as a maiden and was now a mother. I was like, Yeah, I understand And again, it's it's one of the many that go on the list that if men birth Every third movie would be about that? Yeah, I know. If we gave birth would be women And would be the oppressed ones. Better. What? What? Would be better at it. that No, no, no, just the better ones. Oh, I see Um anyyway, G on. Oh no, John Han. I was pitching a short film. Oh yes, pitch. I actually think could be good and please don't take it. It's my idea. All right. I don't mean you I mean. Can I direct it? Sure. Okay We meet John Hammy's in a restaurant and he's just so charming and so funny and everybody likes him. And then he goes back, he starts walking out and everyone else is getting in Ubers Taxis, we're New York, of course And he starts walking and then he just walks into the woods. Suddenly there's the woods. Like that's going to be like part of it. It's like what? Yeah woods. Yeah, yeah by Manhattan. suddenly he's just like walking. I love this already. I'm' like dress shoes are squishing, squish, squishing in the wet marsh Then we come upon a shrek like cabin likeike where Shrek lived The cabinet itself isn't S shrek. Look, I've already decided this is a great podcast. And I'm coming into this one going like, I don't know if I have the Wiener to Wanger today. And I'm like, we got a Wiener to Wanger. No, you do too. You're killing it. Oh, thank you. We have to remember what was the funny Oh, we can't say that joke was inappropriate, but you made one of the funniest jokes of the century. I don't even remember which one you hang wasn't it wasn't racist or sexist or anything. It was just not in good taste. Anyway, so he squishing through the woods And then it comes to the shrek like cabin And he opens it and then Do you remember in total recall? you don't But I' never seen it. Really? Yeah. Get you askst to Mz Gjasem. Now get your askstemars. Gjas the. Get your askstemars. S it C can, G them the air Yeah, Yeah. Yeah This is the sound of love You're out there looking for the right ass. Look for this. I know What Very good. I can't do it. All right. much of a lady. In tootal recall, he sneaks through like some security with a big bigger woman's head on his head and it comes off like like in layers.yway I didn't have to I didn't have to tell you any of that, but there are some people who are in their forties that loved that refough And there are some people that thought I meant the C and Ferreal one and no I did not There's a C Ferrel total recall. Con Ferll, am I thinking of the right C Probably it's not calling Fth. It's not Fth. I'd love to see that. I need to get my ass to mas. I absolutely I must. I must get my ass to mas. Co Hagan. Co Hagan. Would you please be a dear and give them give them their air It's free. It's free. It's free. It's not even very good. Th a Spanish woman goes, this better be good. I'm working in love actually. I know, I thought so. Okay. so she was po I didn't have to tell you that Port Ju say Um What happens is the John Ham He takes off all his clothes. We're already like crowd pleaser And then he opens up and a small Gllamy kind of goblin man, but a human comes out he's pale, he's very thin, comes out of the John Ham. He was wearing the John Hamm suit. like a monster. I know it's great, right? I love this. What happ? Oh and then and then and the soaper opens the Let's what kind of bag would John Him have like a satchel Yeah, like a like a slick leather, black leather over the shoulder. Yeah ye, yeah yeah Yeah. And in there is all of u these like orbs like clear orbs kind of jelly like and he eats those and he devours them and that's a sustenance. So what it is what is it? What is it what it is is. That's how I often feel is I'm This very tender Um scared U I don't want to say weak but very vulnerable guy who is overwhelmed. I think a lot of us can relate to this. I have to say that to be like, it's not just me Not I'm not the only one I think a lot P Pig strong men think this. Mamoa will love this film. Momoa will ball at this film. Yeah. Momoa. Are arere we talking about the same Mamoa Mamoa?a. What's your favorite girl Scout cookie? Mamoa's? Oh, yes. I love. They added protein to the samoas. And that ca. I do have like a Pavalovian response because Samoa or Mamoa, either way, it's delicious, am I right And Mamoa is Samoan Is it It certainly seems Samoan. Is Samoan something we can say? Yeah. It's like Mil I'm not trying to be funny. Melato? Okay, no, you can't say that. in the song smells like teen Spirit. He goes a Milado. Well, there was a lot of things we could say in nineteen ninety one or that people were saying that they should This smells like teen Spirit. And actually I'm not totally positive of a Milado but Let's not know Let's live on the knife's edge and anybody that This is a learning moment if you're not allowed to say that. Yeah But not for us because We're not gonna learn, not for us, for you U anyyway, It's um that that That's what my therapy was about is like I've and this I don't think this is tragic or sad. What I'm trying to do is communicate to that sort of scared small part of me who built brilliantly built the John Hamm suit and it's not a Jh Hamm suuit's a Pete homeome suit. Like we had the IKEA and it was John Ham. and like we put it together and we were like, God damn it And it was a feed homesuit. and you're like w. I'm like, shit. we got a Porgan. We wanted a hamger. and the purgan and we're like, we can't return it. Yeah it's close enough. But like I clearly made what it is is I did a bunch of podcasts this week and like I've been having a lot of anxiety U Lately, you said it might be the full moon, who knows? but like I'm like, oh yeah, we send this guy out the persona. Who is me And on these podcasts, these podcasts I did this week were particularly good. I was gu guessed appearing on other people's podcasts Funny, interesting, all the things. And that's the suit. And then what so I also sent out a script to a producer I'm working with And when I get the email that's like, I loved it You know, like I re thoughtful reasons why they loved it Those are the orbs. L I it's not that I started therapy thinking that I'm like a doctor Jekyll, mrter Hyde. and doror Jekyll, who sounds so much scarier than mister Hyde? Yeah. Jekyll's the nice one. doctor Jekyll He's the doctor that makes the potion that turns him into Mr. Hyde. He loses his medical deree. Jekell is like Jokey and Heckl and Hyde is like. H's here Yes. What do you mean? Do you mean hide? he's here or you saying hide? No I, he's here. I mean like you're hiding No, I know what you're saying, but in the scene that I'm doing, someone goes hide, he's here. No I see. Are you saying hide is here or we need to hide because someone's here.. Okay. But dor. Jekyll is scary. And he is the sciary one, but I thought I had like a big dumb animal that like I couldn't keep on the leash and I was frustrated that he keeps getting into the chickens. But it's not that at all. It's like my short film is he sends him out to get the orbs that he lives on. And the beautiful scene in the movie is when John Ham says to the Valerie There's someone I'd like you to meet. and you take them back to the cabin and he gets out of the suit and she holds him. Oh my gosh, that's so sweet. And then she had the sound She's got the same one. But hers head Now thiss really a shrek Yeah, it is similar to Srek. It's similar to Shrek. And what's funny is I was going to say, in that beautiful scene where she sees what's inside the ham It goes some b on mean the world is got roam me. Let's keep going in the shair. So I was listening to a Dave Matthew sump. by the way I wanted to share that. I want to even you should make that. We'll make it Yeah, I think we should make it. I think that's very beautiful. I think it's very relatable Um, Obviously, you know, you don't just have this one part that's underneath a facade You have many parts including what you would call the ham All of those are your parts and they're all valid and they're all good. Also what it made me think of is I don't know much about this. I don't know much But you know, there's the term masking It's like, what neurodivergent people do all day is pretend to be somebody? is try is pretend to be neurotypical all day to get through the day. Yeah ye. And just like you've learn how to be what people in the closet autistic Yeah, and you, but it's like exhausting, like it takes its toll because it's inauthentic. No, that's what we were talking about is like the Iron manan suit is heavy Yeah. but we also sorry to interrupt We also talked about just how important and often necessary that guy is. It's not made of bullshit. Yeah. It's a real part of me Yeah. It's just like there's there's like Especially when I go on podcasts, I'm so sure I make like risque jokes and I just don't give a shit You know I' having fucking fun and I have answers, I have a worldview. And I'm like, man, that's me. These are the ABCs of me. Yeah. And then it' it's the little gollm that is like, Plus the sauce too much process. M he's eating the orbs?. sounds a little more like Smgele, but okay,. You think there's that big of a difference between Smiggele and Gllm? Yeah They have a very similar voice. Well, yeah, sure, but one is like You are every nerd's dream You were already every nerd's dream A total babe who's supportive and loving. And then can you hear the rubbery nerd boners across the nation I can. So you were like, that's more snegele than Gllm. And everyone waits for me to die like the line of nerds. I say with love. Pick nerds. You'll have your pick of nerds. You'll have your pick of nerds. Pick of nerds, Which nerd shall it be next The Bachelor The Bachelorette. The Bachelorette Nd edition. Yeah Yeah. I like this You guys know I love Element LMNT. I drink it every single day. That's how I jumpstart my day. I love their pink lemonade flavor. It's my current obsession. 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When you become a ROe member, you'll have access to your provider on demand for questions and support throughout the process and you'll be joining over one point five million people who've trusted ROe on their weight loss journey. So go to row. co slash weird to see if you qualify. That's R. Co slash weird to get started on Row and go to row. co slash safety for box warning and full safety information about GOP one medications hosted by Paul Rust? Yes, obviously. I'm not saying I mean, no, he would agree. I'm gonna leave that there. Yeah The delightful Paul rest Wait, but Bre were you Oh, just the masking and It's tiring. The Ironman suit is heavy. and it is part of me. This is what I was thinking because you're saying you go on other podcasts and you're making risquade jokes and you're you know, doing all of that It was interesting. rememember when our friend asked us at coffee She was like It wasn't even a question. she was sort of putting together based on how you behave. She was like, you don't need people to like you to feel safe. And like how that is so interesting that that part of you, your ham, really portrays yourself to be that way, but it is really not true M That's right. It's really not true. Like I think there are people who don't need people to like them to feel That's what we were I did Bert Cryisher's podcast and we were talking about Tony Hitchcliffe on the Rasts, and he was like, I really don't think Tony cares Like so many people really don't like Tony Hinchcliff. Yeah of vious. Steve's o madeade Trump win. I building Tony Hinge clliff Yeah, I'm out of my depth here, but he did he did like a I know he did, you know. That's where he made that awful you know what I mean? Yeah cares.s not noobody tunes into this podcast for hot tast. Thank God because we don't even finish sentences when we' talk about them. I don't Tony did crashing and he was very sweet. He was different. Very nice. it might have been a little bit. yeah. I think he was different then.way He was like, I don't think Tony cares. He knows he's playing the heel in a wrestling movie TV show And I was like, sure. And I was really talking about myself. I was like, but if Tony or anybody Missed Three meals, no coffee. No WiFi, two delayed flights And you land in Zimbabwe. Yeah in a different time zone you might be a little more upset. Yeah, that somebody's like I think you're the worst. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like it takes And it takes my effort to stand by my ham. And that can be kind of tiring is like It's never really happened. I just kind of live in fear that somebody's going to be like You said, what about? You know, or whatever. And that's what the the sort of Gllamy guy is kind of exhausted by. He sends them out and we come back. And I realize What we realized in therapy, that was a lot like my house. L I just didn't know what I was going get. There was like kind of like it could be this, it could be that And yeah, that's all that's all. it's just a little exhausting. But I look it's funny because Bertt Kreiser is sort of like a guy that I go like, he just seems like he is at peace with himself. Yeah, I think that about so many people and I don't know if anybody really is. One thing I know for sure is that We can't trust how it seems on the outside. you know, like Yeah people are people all have their own hamsuits And we just think like, oh my gosh, you That's who you actually are. You're very cool and confident and And they're like most of the time when you get to know those people are like, no, and they unzip and they have their own goblin. Right That's what I just wrote down. Obviously your pitch is absolutely correct. Ham says there's someone I want you to meet. he takes her back to the shreack like cabin. and zips comomes out there he is like powder, like the movie powder. He's bald and Sort of, you know, I don't know that movie. I've never even literally never even heard of it. Powder powder I feel like I'm pving Dreving. Oh my God, I am dreamving. You're dreamving right now. Griefreaming? Powder? Yeahah, it doesn't matter. It's just an albino. Can you say albino? I think so. Agressively pale, bald guy with no eyebrows. So it's like that. It's like Neo in the matrix, but when he's like in the matrix, that naked No. Yeah. We get to that. We'll get to that. We have something on that. Also I'm picturing like the guy from Bridesmaids playing who was Oh ye first in the Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Paddington. because you love him. Great British payoff It'd be great. He's so lovable. I know. He's a little too lovable. I need more of like a whimpering H You know what I mean? That guy seems like what makes that guy so funny is that he is self assured. Yeah. that's true. That's like The charm is like I know you expect me to be like, Oh'm sorry, but actually I'm in your face. I'm in your fucking face. What of it Look at this shit. Well of it. Well ofve it. Fuck you. Fuck off. Fuck off. I feel like you could say fuck off in like parliament Like it's not rude. It Minjiot. L Well Parliament is a ruckous crew I think they I'm taking it back. I don't think you can say fuck off in Parliament. I don't know. They would go order. Yeah. I've been trying say, but they would just say order That is so funny. It's the judge's first day he looks at a piece of paper, it says, if fuck off then older. Yeah. I tried this bit at Largo this month and I'm gonna keep working on it. But it's like what year is it in the courtroom What What fucking year are we pretending it is? Well, especially in Britain Parliament in British courtroom. Put on your wig. They wear wig wigs. We've talked about this on the pod. No I know becauseuse I can't here we haven' This part There's a guy in a gown who sits higher Yeah. He's in a big tall wooden chair. because we're just apes. Look at how high he is. How do to get up there And then there's a lady drawing Yeah No cameras. There's just a lady with colored We're like, what What happened yesterday? Let's refer to the doodle. Yeah. And then you have another lady with a typewriter. An older than a typewrwriter.ographer.ogenographer.ographer. I'm a pornographer for stenographers. Oh Ooh, I do the clothes caption for porn. It's a lot of oh But there's a lady ty or a man typing, there's a man drawing And then there's a guy who hits his hammer if it gets a little loud. Yeah And then there's like jury in a box. The other part cherry jury in a box Put the jury in a box so we know where they are. And then the part, I think I've talked about this on the pod before is the Bible Well, there's the Bible. It be your hand on the Bible. O This criminal's not gonna lie with his hand on the Bible. We think he killed his entire community, but he's gonna tell the truth of Jesus' words are under his hand Very good I got to write that to Bible are you guys seeing out But listen to how I said it Hs on Jesus' words I think was the moment when I realized it was worth writing down but Okay rud. You letit the pilot light and you can't have cookies without the pilot That's right. Okaykay. pilot light And they could have DNA evidence on a guy. A murderer And then they'd still ask someone to point at him. They have his DNA They're like, we have it on the scene of the crime. But Brenda, could you point at the man you saw that Anbody in this courtroom? And I'd love to know has anyone ever pointed at the wrong person? I mean Leted the record show she pointed at her own lawyer. That has to have happened. A near sighted lady. She's pointing at a houseplant Order All right, this is why we have the doodle. Refer to the doodle Thanks for that riff. Here's a great Here's a great synchronicity that we had this week. I think it's great. Yes. So we're watching English teacher. We've had we which we've had so many. The best fucking show in the world. You guys, English teacachher so good. It's too late. We fucked up. Yeah It wasn't renewed for a third season and now I'm the fucking ding bat that's watching And I really think there's a special kind of appreciation that someone who made a show can have for a show that maybe people who didn't make a show can't have. What I'm saying is I'm watching it and I'm just like How did they do this? Yeah. It's not editing. They're not like clipping around, making it perfect.'s like really X factactor soaked performances of real characters behaving believably marinated in perfect jokes and situations. and it looks great. It looks great. I love everything about it. The music is great. It's so compelling. It It's surprising. It goes down so it's surprising and it goes down so easy. like it's cozy. You would just It's amazing. It's of the time. Yeah. How do they do this? They're talking about modern issues Yeah and like seemingly in real time. I fucking love it. I know. And it's And Sean Patton, who I've known for years is incredible on it.'s so good. And Brian. Rrian Jordan Alvarez is is just like you can't take your eyes off him. Yeah. He's so compelling. There's just like a there's like, yeah, that's the word There's people that are talented Yeah And there's people that are like mesmerizing and he's like mesmerizing. And I would actually say not to take away from Brian Alvarez. Jordan. Jordan Alvarez, but like They put together a fucking bang up cast where every single person is mesmerizing. Yes. Sean Patton. What is going on? I think What also the principal? I'm like, is this guy It's like That school is real. Yeah. And that principal doesn't know he's on a show. Yeah. She's that good. and the guidance count E single and the woman, I'm sorry and the woman, but you know what I mean. And even the woman you believe it? Can you believe the woman is one of my favorite parts? But honestly she is. She's phenomenal. I'm sorry for calling her the woman. good Yes, But it's And the students And the students are fantastic.ents are amazing. That's what's crazy. It's so some oforite shows are he sa students. And you're like, I've seen school shows Yeah. and then you're like, Oh, And they're funny in a way that is does feel modern. like you're like, oh, this is I remember that's partially what I loved about Booksmart is I was like, I wouldn't I was a teacher teen years ago or thirteen years ago wouldn't even know how to write how kids talk now. Yeah. And they get it right. Yeah. Like I can just feel that they get it And and it's fun to be privy to like, oh yeah. Yeah. they're all modern. It's different. It's different. Who would want to see it? So it's just one of the simple ideas done incredibly well. I don't even know how you pitch that show. I'll take it one click further. I sort of resent that you have to pitch shows. I know. It's so dumb. Although it it is it's funny It should be like I have a show.ust know. Trust me. It's good. Tust. I know. because really you can pitch it with like He's a gay English teacher in Austin, Texas. L that is very compelling But it's so much more than that that it would be so hard to not everything. I would say that the gay I was wondering if I should say queer or gay, but like the gay stuff in it the gay perspective of it is one of the things I love Oh, yeah, it's a big part of it. Yeah It also like that came up so ariculate.ike It's a very sexy show, yeah. There's so I mean Breadan Rarller was so gorgeous to look at. and Brian Jordan O. Yeah, BJA. BJA. Yeah, Total babe. He's so gorgeous. Total babe. I'll admit that I've been working out a little more since watching that show. And that's a real compliment. Yeah When I I've told this before, but when we saw Once Upon a Te in Hollywood, remember Conan happened to be there I'm sitting next to Conan Brad takes his shirt off on the roof and I'm meeting Reese's pieces. And I leaned over to Cone and I go, I regret the candy. That's how I feel about BJA. Yeah, BJA is. is I mean, like he's stunning. and then And they make a lot of jokes about how he's like, I know you think I'm basic. Yeah, but I'm actually hot. And that is what he is. he's good looking, but in a disarming way. Yeah, which is kind of like as good as you can get. because if you're just like ten out of ten, everyone agrees you're a babe. Yeah, I'm not going to also laugh at you Tally Get out of here. I know. Why don't you go have an orgie? Right. Well, that's the thing is it's the most attractive people are are good looking and interesting looking. Where do you think Historically speaking, pirates really landed on R Lake How many of them had to go R Did any of them go R I know. Like that sounds like a tick of one guy And then the wrong historian was like, you know, pirates like I. But there was probably a guy like the captain of the boat where the first mate kept going, was like, We're pirates. Yeah. And then his first mate is like, we be pirates. And he's like, no, no. We're pirates and we're here for your valuables. Hide ye gold and ye booty. No. No, we're in charge. We will kill you. A best timbers would be shivering. It's like N and they wrote down everything that guy said. And the rest of them were scholars This is A sketched that Scot D Nide. by S and Mad TV also passed on me and it's not even good enough for YouTube. Kind of seems like a key and peel to be honest. Yeah, it does Right, it totally does. I know, I wonder if that's just how like sailors talked. Not even just pirates. It's not a natural thing to say How How were the seas this morning? I they were not like it doesn't. were Like I like but pl R is a hard place. R The sound R is a cul de sac that is just sending you in loops. Ah goes into I. A All right, they went all right. All right. Ah is a sound that can take you anywhere. A, you're locked in, now you have to reset. This is why they had so much grievance. Yeah. And did they really say me striveving like Well, that's what I mean. I bet that that is how sailors like off the b oast of England. Right. Taled. there's like New Orleans guy that's like we're going down or down potatoes going to down. And we're like what? What? And we're like And then what? And then we're over there and we're like, what? What are you saying? I don't going me me go forood tomorrow D don't wind, don't t table Huh? What? I would love to go back in time and meet a pirate or a sailor that was like,y carargo is getting wet in this range he is. By the way, my uncle Buck, that's right, I had an uncle Buck. was my kiny. My grandpa's brother, my papa's brother They were both from like backackoods, Arkansas, like sixth grade education and became loggers And he he say lawyers. lawyers. They became lawyers In Arkansasers.ade is like getting a master. Oh my God, very funny. Don't back away. Just own it. Just own it I can say that my people are from there, but He really did talk like, is it Boomher Boom Boom. He really talked like that. could not understand a word he was saying. We could barely understand our own papa and he was like our favorite person in the world. Yeah. But we would just watch we would go over to their house because in the South, you just go have visits. I'm gonna go have a visit. You literally just go visit one of your family members kind of every day and you circle through all of them And so we would go have a visit with Uncle Buck and the conversations would be him and my papa, we would just be watching them have this conversation where he'd be like But'hn Downrom roomomeone tuning a homemade banjoe. It's like a cigar box and Rber mananike talking like a bian Wrington. Sometimes he probably was tuning a banjoe ' he played the banjo No. He did. He played the guitar. actually both of them were very good musicians and he played the guitar And the doro. he played the doro, not the bandrobe The doobbro? Yeah. What's a doro? Oh my God, a doro. It sounds like a hipster bagel company. A doro is pizza Gorgeous. With the doros. It's like a steel guitar where you slide. you have the thing and something. It's a sit down guitar. It's a lazy man. Somebody was like, I want a guitar, but can it be on like a L like a toddler' What am I thinking about? High chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I I wanted like a high chair Anyay, she'd be like, they're in world're world. And then my papa she'd be like, Yeah, well, I don't know what you' mean. And we don't know if we did. We never know.. It's so funny to watch somebody who understands that like respond and try to guess from context clues. what's that going on? Well, you know, just to join you in that, me and my brother, you know We have our own language and we're not even twins. Yeah. where we'll just be like Oh, sorry. It frightened me. Was that too loud? You're all jammed up in your cord. I know You wantna be No, I just You embarrassed Yeah. Me and my brother speak in movie quotes so much where and also like quotes from the past. So like Ern caught me playing with my action figures when I was like eighteen years old. Ern is a man in Eron. Erin. That was Pete's best friend. And I hid them under the Afghan That's right, I had an Afghan on my bed I know, listen to the details tripping off this door. and also compare them to how different it is from where I just Yeah, that's right. It took us. Yeah you had a snuggie. I had an Afghan. Yeah. But I mean, I find the Afghan to be more embarrassing I don't know what it is. So I slid, they were cops figures COPS, it was an acronym I forgget for what, but it was a cartoon in the nineties and I I had the great toys Good And I had a great toys. Great, great toys, beautiful cups. loveove the cups. Anyway, I and then he I don't know how he caught me. He must have like seen me and he uncovered them Very. Embarrassing. Like there's a mound. It's embarrassing but that you have toys and a Afghan covering it Yes, that's right, every part of this. And he kind of opened it like a cop going like, then what's this? L an inspector in a dinner theater And he just went Playing with your toys, Pete. Right? Yeah. So if I'm in a situation now where I'm embarrassed or my brother is embarrassed or anyone is embarrassed, he'll just go, playing with your toys being Like we'll speak in those types of references or he'll just go rum raisin What's that? And I go, pistachio. It's from a movie called Second Sight, which starred Balki I knowing these I know I' neverard Balky and John Larquet And when I was in Night courourt with John Laricett, I mentioned the movie seconde sight and he was like, wow, I never get that. But there's a scene where covered in ice cream Like somehow like I guess it was melty enough that it got like flung flung on them and they're in their suits From in the nineties, we love that. We loved a suit getting messy. Yeah, peopleeople in a suit at a dinner with a tablecloth and nowowow, like deal with this. Yeah. like Dennis the man he put together situations sudden chaotic and that's right. a dog runs through. Oh my Godd. How many dogs ran through fancy dog. had it made in the nineties. Oh my gosh. And they're covered in ice cream and one of them says to John Larry Kety goes Rum raisin I think it's the woman who goes rum raisin And then he like tastes it off her cheek. He goes And he goes pistachio Does he know the woman? Yeah, think they're dating. Okay Mbe like kiss tastes It's still gross.'s kind of Its pistachio There's also another one that we always quote where We were watching some sitcom And it's rich people. This is also very nineties Butler opens they're talking about a bottle of champagne being like seven hundred dollars. And they're like, oh my Godd, seven hundred dollars champagne. And they're like, what? we're living up high on the hog. And then another butler comes in and reads a letter and he goes, you're bankrupt. And then it cuts back to the other butler, I think, and he has the champagne and he just chugs it I like that. He's like The jick is up. I'm gonna at least drink the champagne. I know you get it already. So me and my brother Our version was we might be sitting somewhere and we'll just go You're bankupt like just All these little lines. Yeah, masking. Yeah, masking. we don't know what to do. Yeah. So we just say lines from movies. Yeah. I mean, that is not saying that's what's happening exactly here, but not not saying that you know We know somebody who has like I, um how do you say it? I'm sorry. Wh Who testosterone? No, who has severe autism Oh highly functional? Yeah, yeah. He's autastic. Okay, no, that's not what I mean. And who speaks almost exclusively in quotes and like toy story quotes, specifically. Oh. And he it's incredible how he can find it the right quote. Yeah. He's like a soundboard. Yes. I'm not trying to be funny. L like people do prank calls with Arnold Schwarzenegger and they're like Schwartzenegger Yeah. And no, no. No I don't know what just happened. It sounded weird when I said it. Oh my Godd. that's a. It happened to two. That happened to us before. Okay, but I just watched Nicole Byers, like a clip from Nicole Byers podcast and she had and I can't remember her name Um But She she said Schwarzenegger and The other person whose name I can't remember right now was like, I don't think you're allowed to say that. That's what I was picking It is a weird and I'm sure he's dealt with that his entire life. It Probably not until recently. Not until not until now recly. You know. I't actually heard that I can't know. the thing is It's interesting. It's interesteresting vow. It's interesting what you said vowel because I last name was ye. Um, here's Mamo with the newz Schwarzen We're done. We're done. We're done with that. We're done. I wasn't trying to be funny Never am. I never am. Well, good because you were you weren't. Everyone listening. Don't worry about it.'t worry about it Hey, it's Julie Louie Dreyist from Wiser than Me, etcetera. 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Get free samples, expert design help, and professional measure and install services, or DIY it with confidence and support every step of the way Shop up to forty five percent off sitewide right now during the fourourth of July VIP access sale at blinds. com Oh, you know what? That sound as synchronous, but after this. Yeah, synchronous, after this. No. before I forget, so many sweeties wrote in asking about an update on Lila's camping trip You just been like, how nice? Yeah How nice? How nice. How nice. It was very sweet. Thank you for checking in. And I also got some really sweet messages about, you know just I know you are so beautiful. You are, you always are. So this was two episodes if you're just tuning in now, this was two episodes ago. I shared that I Lela, our daughter, has a school camping trip that she wanted to go on alone, but it's overnight and she sleeps in our bed every night and so I every night. Well, I'm that's kind of recent. so So I was just conflicted because I signed up to be a chaperone because I was like, she's gonna to need me there in the night. And she was very like dead set on me not going. and she just wanted to do it alone and to And in real time on the podcast, I really like sort of processed that You know, I was resisting letting her grow in this way and that she was trying to tell me that she was ready for something and whether or not she was It's my job as her mother to sort of trust her and let her try these things and let go. And We uncovered too that like mom in a lot of traditional situations is the more teddy bear like Yeah So do you want your mommy? Yeah. So she was okay with me coming because my feelings were a little bit her of. And she was like, I don't want anyone to come, but if anybody has to come, then I want dad to come. And so that was like kind of hurting my feelings a little. but yes, you helped And you said it's recorded on the podcast. You said it's probably something that we don't even know. like somebody was like,, you know said to even someone else, like is your mommy coming or it could be something that slight that made her decide she didn't want me to go. And I know I think And I think that is true because A all of that, like me like crying on the podcast saying like I need to let her go and you know, all of this stuff The next day I was going to text to email her teacher and say, like, Lila wants to go alone so I can't be a chaperone And we are swimming in the pool. Lila and I And she went By the way, they read the list of Chaperones and I know you're coming on the camping trip and I'm okay with it now. And I was like, what? What happened? After all of that Because now you're on the list and your mom is coming and now it's like, oh, now you feel special because you you're on a list. You're l It was read for everybody. Yes. It was something else.. She wants to be on the list. So it is just that simple. I remember my mom used to volunteer at the library at our school And I was like, that's so cool. Well, that's why she did the opposite of Gldbud. Yeah, but I kind of blew it. I think I said this on the podcast episode because I volunteered for a library day and she asked me to help her spell sound out a word or like she said, how do you What does this word say? And I like sounded it out and it embarrassed her apparently. and then she never wanted me to go to a library day again. Like she really is sort of like She holds a grudge. Yeah, she'll crisp. she'll crisp. She'll make her decision and then she doesn't. but It was very sweet and it also was really funny because I was like, I bet this is the first of many times where she's gonna like put me through the ringer about something and then it's going to end up being a non issue So anyway, the camping trip is tomorrow. so and I'm going and she feels good about me going and I feel good about me going and that's how that whole thing got resolved U But yeah, it was really funny that I just went through this whole thing and then she was like, I'm okay with it I know Well, thats that's a wonderful update Yeah. and that I'm glad you're going But I'm also Oh, but also the other thing is that she's been sleeping in her own bed all night since then. No know, it's been so weird. It's been so parents. Listen, if your kid sleeps in your room and then of like, okay, let's most nights climbs in between you guys. Yeah. When they start sleeping in their own room, It's so weird. It's so like where are they? I know. You realize like and this is why parenting is so one of the reasons it's such a tricky pickle is you're like You have to ask yourself hard questions like, do you like that she sleeps in? Yeah O Does she want to sleep in here? And the answer is both. Well, that was the whole lesson of the camping trip was it was like, am I not ready for her to sleep overnight somewhere else?. Or is she not ready? Right. And it's like that over and over and over But it is nice to know like I wear earplugs. And we have a a white noise machine and we leave our door open, but she's down the hall And L last night quiet white noise Yes. And last night she just went, M and I before I even had a chance to wake up was like, yeah baby. I know like the nervous system is going to respond to her. No, And that hypertunonement speaks to why it's such a sensitive issue. Yeah Yeah. Well we're o Oh synchronicities. Yeah, we want to talk about synchronicities and then I really loved this episode. It was actually not actually, but it was really, really You know what, I actually really liked talking to you. I actuallyually would like to see you. I'd like to see you again. Yeahah, yeah. That brings up my male friendship dating update.ich is lesbians are the answer for you now. Well, yeah, I've gone to I now have a flock. It's actually known as a murder of lesbians that I am hanging out with and absolutely loving it. And then that introduces the question, am I looking for male friendship or am I just looking for friendship? Yeah And I don't know. I think because I'm feeling pretty good with these I don't yeah, I don't know if you need specifically I't yeah, it'd be nice to have one or two, but ye I'm also noticing just like it always is. like I tend to go in real hard and I'm giving myself the note to like Just like dating. You gotta go slow. Yeah. gotta go slow Yeah. Yeah, more on that next time. More on. Dor next time You're not a dork guy just trying to yes and your bet. So the synchronicity I thought this one was staggering They were actually a couple. We were watching English teacher. This is why we brought it up And I know synchronicities can be like other people's dreams, but at least this will be short During the day, a friend, one of the lesbians left their sunglasses at our house. And they were in our car and Val was like, I want to return these to the friend and you put them on And I was worried for a second they were your sunglasses because they didn't look right on you And you were like, you said, I feel like I look like Agent Smith in the Matrix. And they were these they were like, you know, eyelid shaped. They're little Ler Yeah. And I went, no you look like No, like No wears those sunglasses. So we had like a real stepped out Dgusted You look like No in those sunglasses in the morning That night, we're watching English teacher The episode's almost over someone puts on their sunglasses and the last joke of the episode is, you look like No which I know it'll never mean as much to everyone listening as it meant to us. Yeah. But it literally took my breath away. I was like, and we of course, we didn't even talk about it. I just looked at you. It was so fun. We just looked at each other jaws dropped and it is happening so And that was that was the We were even going The other weren't as good, but that was the third the third one that had happened in that episode. Yeah. That's crazy. It was you look like Neo It was so fun. And the rational mind and I love it goes, well, yeah, Neo wears sunglasses, but like people make that joke, but also these ones didn't look even that much like Neo. they did In my opinion. He also looked like Meryl Streep. Meryl Streep loves a NeO sunglass. I just can't think of what you keep saying that I cannot picture her Aven in sunglasses. I'd Google it, but with all the AI slop, I can't know if it's real. Yeah Oh, one last thing. Julian Watley is a channel that I found on YouTube. and if you're like me, I don't even know this person at all. this isn't an ad I'm saying they're making a lot of content That is making me feel a lot more clear on what AI is and what it's about. I'm not going to do what I normally do, which is like summarize it, but I will recommend finding some interesting stuff. I will say one thing. We're almost out of human data. Like we can map like how long it's going to take AI to like kind of consume. He also made this brilliant point where he's like, in the story of Exodus, when Moses goes up, Mount Sinai rememember the Israelites get scared. He's gone for a long time. So they melt down all their gold. This is Julian Wley's point, and they make the golden calf To make themselves feel better because of all the uncertainty. He's like, that's what we're doing. He's like, the times are so uncertain, but instead of melting down the gold, we're melting down all the information. We're feeding something, a new God, all of the information. Here's all of our books. copyright be damned. hereere's every movie. Wow, every TV show, here's every Reddit post, everything. takeake all of it, melt it down, consolidate it and make a Godd because we're freaking out and we need certainty. We need eternal life. We need a leader. We need Sam Altman, we need we need all all the fucking CEO guys to lead us and it's because we feel alone and we're scared. I was like, that's fucking brilliant And he also made this really interesting point that every update of and you never hear about this, but Chat GPT These are summaries of the numbers. They're not the exact numbers, but like the first version hallucinated, meaning was wrong, eleven percent of the time The second one was thirty percent of the time and the third one is now forty eight percent of the time. That means forty eight percent of the time, it's just hallucinating on certain topics more than others But he's like in this paper. that you had to he had to like look up and scour U Op A I was like, we don't know why this is happening. M research is needed. And it's like, but what is happening? And he's like, there's billions of chat GPT prompts. I believe it's billions a day and What if I'm wrong? It could be. I remember him saying Bill I feel like it was like a lot, a lot, a lot. Yeah. And he's like, that means every minute seventeen thousand people are getting A wrong answer Your lawyer, your doctor, your employer, people scouring resumes are just getting a hallucinated completely wrong answer. And it's really good at certain things, but it's bad at interpreting other things. It's good at like You know, Ycet But people don't know what it's bad at And he's like, this is because what's happening and I won't go all into it, but it's like, it's running out of human made data. So then what happens is it starts making synthetic data, which is A computer is interpreting what a computer that is interpreting human data is interpreted. So it's double interpreted. It's like photocopy photocopy. Yeah like this is just going to keep happening and that's what he was sort of positing is why the number of Iirregularities keeps going up is because it's running out of stuff, but it can't run out of stuff. It will make its own fuel should watch. Instead of running out of it, it makes up the answers. But he made the one that I really recommend is called Is AI, the New oppiate. And he's making the point that like tech CEO is the priest. Like we look back on religion and we're like, what a bunch of idiots. Right that used to file into the cathedrals and think that this priest or this pastor was giving them hope or whatever. I think a lot of people are like, how quaint? Yeah. What you need to remember, it's like when you're stoned and you're paranoid can you can't say, well, I'm just stoned because you believe it. Yeah. You believe it. So the people in those peews believed it. and we believe in this new thing. Yeah. And the tech CEO's with no exaggeration are saying This will lead to eternal life. This will lead to abundance. This will lead to every disease. It's the same promises of religion Healing, prosperity and eternal life, but they're saying, we'll upload your consciousness. This is the world is so frightening. It's too tempting. So we'll melt down everything we can to make the God. And he also makes the point. It's like, guess who's going to be getting their consciousnesses uploaded first. That's why these billionaires are still working so hard is because they're actually fighting against their own mortality. Well, one hundred percent. On our data. Yes. one hundred percent. And that is what billionaires do. L, I mean, I don't know if it's the Sorry Vale, we're out of time. Okay That like the type of ambition it takes to become a billionaire is somebody who is so afraid of their own mortality that they're trying to outrun it by having st Success, having legacy, having, but then so I think it's the combo of that pllus then once you become a billionaire and everything is going your way, you get the like the delusions of grandeur that make you think like, well, I could I've gotten everything my way. I could even. Looks to every myth and story. You know what I mean? Yes, well, that's the thing too and that's What I love about the Golden Calf is like and as you were saying that I was like, right, the thing to remember is that we are not different from each other and we're not that different from how we always have been these basic needs and desires that we have. Yeah. We're afraid of death we need each other. We are afraid of uncertainty. We need certainty. We like so it just changes the gods change. That' what That's exactly right. You're hearing me perfect. But that is the consistency. So of course, this idea that like We have artificial intelligence and it changes everything even including our own nature. It's like nothing has changed our own nature. Our nature has been the same this other time. Julian Watley point that I am starting to use is he's like, it's not artificial intelligence. They don't say it's artificial intelligence. They say it's a large language Yeah which is what which is what it is. It predicts the words based on all the words. Yeah. You've said that before on the pod and I love it. I find such great comfort. It's because I was really out. I'm not saying there aren't miraculous things happening. I'm saying There's a real historical context for this And as panicked as we are, isn't it nice to go like, oh, this is an Old Testament ship Yeah. This is like the oldest stories we have. And what is the story that Matt Johnson says, Nirvana the band Beowulf Oh, Gilgamh Gilgamesh. So Gilgamesh is literally like the rich king. Yeah. I'm gonna get this all wrong who leaves to find the key to mortality. Yeah. It's exactly We've been literally one of the oldest stories there is. We've been doing the same thing and we are doing the same thing. like That's also the Green Kight.'s Every story is like, I'm going to go into the woods. I'm going go into the Data wilderness. Yes. And the LLM is going to be the thing that I can finally play chess with with death and win. Yeah. It's so it actually is really, I find it very comforting and it's so similar to I don't think I said this on the pod, but the other dayay I was thinking about like all the different, oh, it's ' I was reading Lina's book. Maybe forgive me if I did say this on the pod, but I was reading Lena Dunham's book and I was like, wow, this person has such a unique brain. It's so interesting. And she would tell you she, you know, has OCD and she's clearly like a highly sensitive person
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