Gratitude and Human Connection

Lemonour You made it weird. with meat Homes. What's happening weirdos? Hi everybody. Hi. I'm so glad you're here. is The summer series of we made a summer series Oh this one was not a sleepy summer series. No, no, no. we got into it. We got the AC on really great therapy stuff in the second half of this episode So if you don't love the grabass Grabass wasn't even too grabassy. No it wasn't. It was I think this is a great episode. Through and through. I know I always say that. Soup to nuts. but the second half in particular had some very, very useful stuff. Tipp to tail. Tiped to tail. tips to teeth. I don't know what that means. We're glad you're here. Thank you for being here. Th if you're new, the show this is the Friday episodes where Valerie and I catch up, they're my favorites. and this episode will show you why Only a couple of things to plug. I have two specials on YouTube right now, one's called Silly silly Fun Boy. That's the newest one And then I have one called I'm Not for everyone. that used to be on Netflix, but now it's fau free on YouTube. And spepells to cast on yourour parents is my kids book, which is coming out in September Please preorder it If you think you might be getting it for yourself or for Somebody you know with kids, who cares? mayaybe just read it Maybe just read it You can read it. You can read it. Kids books are for everying level. It's for everybody. everyverybody can handle the reading in this book. Yeah. and I have tour dates. We're going be in North South Carolina Although that's when this comes out If you hear this the day, it comes out, we're in North Carolina It's Okay, hopefully sold out, but if it's not, hey, squeak on in. ye Yeah Thank you everybody for coming out on the road pedomes. com for the Tour didates. And thanks for being here today. All right, everybody, get into it Your summer weekends fill up fast, but Crocx has your back. Road trips, beach days, last minute getaways, whatever's on the agenda, swing by your local store and find your new goat too. Try it, style it, make it yours. Because the right pair doesn't just show up, it shows off. Wock out ready for whatever's next. Visit your nearest crocx store today I'm going to I'm gonna jump in. Oh, you're jumping in.a you' I'm jumping in. Oh, all right. We jumping in. You know why? I'm still untangle him. You would. That's just modern life, isn't it? Oh my God.cords. It's a metaphor for everything somehow Lela's gonna grow up in a world with no cords. She's got babies are gonna be cordless soon. Wow. That's such a dumb joke. Do you get it? Like Fetuses here, let me do it again. Fetuses are gonna be you know wireless Apple is working on the Bluetooth fetus that is fed throughet Okay, let me fix it pp Did you know Apple's actually working on the wireless fetus? The mom feeds it through Bluetooth. so bllue boob No It sucks. It got worse. This is like Christian comedy with all respects all respect mrist comedians For the robust CCC, the Christian comedy community I wanted to say and I thought this would light you up. And for once listeners, don't you hit when people go ear listener No, I don't want you to ever say that again. It's the worst. It's still in the mix Like it's an NPR. I is an NP. Is it NPR? Well, it's almost like people trying to be NPR, but NPR wouldn't do it. It's like what people think NPR is. Yeah. And the truth is to your listener. And the listeners of this podcast will know it's also like screaming Malcolm Gladwell to me and you know how I feel And you know, I love Milky Glad, but he really shows my go sometimes. Yeah. What did I say I listened to an episode of his recently and I was like, you wouldn't believe it.s very I mean, and this is thecored the point of it is that it's something that he likes He was in Oh, that's what it is. He was going He had a whole episode called Yimbi Oh and he kept Yimbi is yes in my backyard. Yeah. And he kept going, I am Yimbi. Well hear me roar. It's a time And then he said it once He made up because it's based on Nimbi, which is not in my backyard. I don't think he made it up Oh. I like that you think he made it up and maybe he did, but I think I'm sort of famously like I can be crusty. like when they were like, let's build pickleball courts Like people were getting mad in Ohi about like pickleball courts and some poor from my perspective, some poor family was like, it'ss it's a noise nuisance. L they built this court and it wasn't there when we moved in and I have an elderly dad and all we hear are bros playing pickleball. Yeah. Look, I know this is a hot take But there's a lot of bigger things going on in the world. So let's just enjoy that I have a hot take on this. I'm like, I side with the people that are like, it's disrupting our lives. I don't side with the guys that are like, but we want to get our pick, especially because there are other places to play pickleball. Yeah. There's other places It was like yes they were like, well, they're always full. I'm like, okay, wait six months for this trend to ed. It actually was a very exciting time in Ohio. This was a verye people hate me right now. Vy big deal Yeah It had layers like it was like, but there's another court. and they're like, but there's no shade in that court. And then it's like The elderly people are being disturbed and they're like the elderly people are the ones playing pickleball that need this exercise. and you're like,, it was I was so back and forth about it. Like a pickleall. Yeah. I look, it's not that My It's just sound trauma Yeah, it's sound trauma. So you And by the way, you know there was that study It was a really interesting study and they used abortion as the issue. Everybody relaxed, We're going to keep a pickleball light. I'm just saying. they went door to door surveying people about whether or not they were pro choice or pro life Yeah. And it was like in a part of the world where everybody was pro life. And then they did this study where they had the person before they would say, I'm pro life and then they would share their story of, I believe getting an abortion and like where they came from and what it was. And it was staggering How many people, once they could like relate one person That That's like this is one of the things that really makes me like sob is any story and there's so many stories of like ay people coming out as gay in like the South with like their Christian parents and it's generally the mothers But like if it's a father too, I'll just like lose it. But that sides with them and that just like become huge allies and like start like Fortune Fester's mom is one of these, like where she's like a huge like gay all and like, yeah, and it's no, I love it. I just love it. No I love it. like that's exactly what happens. L I feel it's so hard you know, it's hard for the kid, I think, being raised in the South or in a conservative youre not all parts of the house Yes, and the conservative community, but it's sort of like the best thing that could happen to people like that is that they get a k. and obviously I don't categorize these things in the same Oh Godd. Categories. 's the worst. When you're walking down the hallway of a sentence and there's no door at the end, obbviously I don't categorize these same in the same I could just say the same. But it's like sometimes people have an illness and they become the biggest advocates of that. illness in it like really, whatever I just wanted to kind of slleate our beauties in the world. All right, what were you saying? Go I somethingomet that was gonna to light me up. Did At the beginning? Yeah. At the beginning? Yeah Can I also just say I rewatched Superman? Oh, can we drop a couple of these I'm not recommending the new Superman, although I thought it was wonderful. What is it? Con side effects? Common side effects we're enjoying. I just do think one of the it's like in the bottom of the top ten reasons you might listen to this podcast or like what to watch? Yeah. And I do think We're a sleeper You can't do it this soon. You can't do it this soon after. By the way, I don't even think people know what that is No. There was a line producer on Crashing who was Russian and then there was a guy or well don't I won't say who it was, but was kind of a meek writer and he was like always going on dates. Like he just had like a certain charm. and he just I saw it, but often the world doesn't favor these sweethearted, kind, quiet guys And I believe this line producer Russian went, Sleper game. Yeah. and it became like a staple in our lives It was actually this he got an apartment and the line producer went Bachelor pad and everyone died. And then that cadence got applied to Sleep for game. D He never said Sleame. Oh wow. He said Bachelor pad and we loved it. And then that became Sleep for games Sle games Anyway, so we are a sleeper podcast for telling people what to watch like Valley heat Valley That was the worst. Valley heat Yeah Vallally Heat Valy. I know, but Vally He Yes. English teacher. Yeah And then I'm gonna to say I'm fucking blown away by common side effects. We're loving it. We turned it on We were already You were gonna to turn it off were a ninety percent finger was on the no. I was ready. It was kind of late And it's aarto. it's animated. It's not called it a cartoon. They don't like that. They don't. Cartoons don't like being called. They like animated shows. It's an animated series. I'm just kidding. They don't have consciousness But We were so ready to be like, we can't watch a cartoon. Yeah. I cant watch. I was so fucking good. I was such a no. I King is the voice. Dave King was a writer. Dave King probably knows a bachelor pad. although he didn't He might not have been there at that point, but D amaz He's theoy interpreter. It's like were the UN. Yeah, yeah. I am the bald diplomat. I'm like a bald, heavy Eastern European diplomat and you are my gorgeous blonde. Everyone's in love with you. Oh my God, that's us. But I have a small country called Pitandia or something And I'm like, major exports or poop jokes and you're like he's saying hello. That's a cultural things That's how he says Hello. It's actually the highest honor She'srosive. Bald Diplomat is a great band name We're bald diplomat It's like electronica Not is good all It turns out I can't do electronica sounds and this is me finding that out in real time This is what you turn into. I can't do sound effects. I I can't do sound effects and I know girls can. I try to teach Lila sound effects because I was like, no daughter of mine's gonna go d you gotta. Thatounds so good. So good. How do you do it? Okay, I'm gonna do my best. Let's talk about it first. It's a loose mouth. L think of an old man who took his dentures out. So it's all floppy. And now you're gonna roll, can you roll your tongue? Yeah. You're gonna do that right at the back of your top row teeth And then yes Let the flap of your lips A little bit lower. Can you pitch it down Good, now I need more wind in you. 'ause you're not it's like you're doing a burst shot and I want more of ac I'm getting too excited. Okay, Okay. Wait, You're shooting a helicopter We do that one all the times. Tght me that How about a silenceced I'm literally cute. Are you on the list? No not Whoa. you How about night vision goggles You could probably do that better because you don't have the your vocal cords aren't dragged down by your nuts. be pe like d's just sgle to that it sounds like' horful. Yeah I mean, our boys boys are better. I'm realizing this one's my favorite one. This is my favorite one. Shaving a headb. That is my favorite one. Like how is it so good? It's so good It's dire straes.. This s. Can you do the sound effect of people hitting fifteen seconds forward? Yeah And jokes on them, they jump to the ads. Elemente Elely, I'll take this. I prefer this I really Oh, you can do tigs opening the curtains in a hotel It's just a kling at your nose That is so good. Tig does that. I love it. Yeah Now that you can was good This is the pod. I have felt, I mean, we've talked about this before, just in our relationship that boys are so much better at sound effects I'm realizing as you just went on that tear, I'm like that's because you guys were always doing it. Like you practiced. Girls were never like in their car being like pe pew pe pe pe pe. Right.. It would be like alarming in the eighties if you're I don't stand by this. No, this is all heteronormative genderormative y What do you mean? I'm not saying it's a term. it's a useful term. I'm just saying I wish it didn't sound the way it sounds. It sounds like a rolled off the tongue better. Yeah. What if it was like, it's a little Lacroine Lroine It's a little I know this is a little Lacroine of me Like it just sounds preachy, heteronormative I mean, Yeah Leroin. Lac Croin. Its like Would you like a Lroix with that Lroin? Like now we're having jokes. And people like, what does that mean? You want your thing to sound better. Like you want the thing that you are to be more complimentary. I think we talked about this I now that well this actually kind of plays into it. Like the fact that you and I love Mac Miller We are the white parents that are like, we love Mac. Yeah. Like we roll up to pick up our daughter and we're playing Mac Miller. L we're embarrassing. Yeah. Like it's happening. And she doesn't even, you know, she's like annoyed by Mac Miller. Sure. And then I also picked up another kid from school and had Mac Miller playing and she was like, Ohh, my dad loves this song Yeah. Yeahah, we we' That's what I'm saying. That's the Eagles. He's the Eagles. I know. And also my act I was talking to Matt about this who I tour with. I was like, Ohh my Godd, like So much of my act is from this very specific and it is Leacrone perspective. I'm already trying to get it going. stupid. I don't. It's very Leacroin. But like there's a lot of references to like, and I mean this with full respect. like U there's I have a joke about how sex makes babies and that is from that You know Le Cr Le Crin perspective And sometimes I'll change it to like a person gets pregnant, but then I'm talking about feeding with your boobs. L it's very Lacroine. Yeah. And then I'm really like I don't know, it just sneaks up on you is what I'm saying. There was a time when I was wearing acid washed jeans, I had a toothpick I had little sunglasses, like little circle. I was George Michael, I'm just kidding. I was in the mix and I was like on that edge of like pushing it and the old people were like shaking their fists. And now we are we have a volvo. We drive a volvo a Volvo and we ride around listening to Mack Miller and they're like more like whack miller. That's what the kids are saying. And how dare they He's so fun. He's just having fun with it. so Dork dad would say. I know. He's just having fun with it. I know Well, there's, you know, it's so interesting. Just having fun with it. You did you know that you're sort of on the cusp between gen X and millennial We looked up Ryan Ozko's husband and I looked up the like exact poets of the generations and Gen X is nineteen sixty five. What? To nineteen eighty one So you're two years from being and millennial is nineteen or no, no, I think it's nineteen eighty. and then millennial is nineteen eighty one. I'm one year off from being a millennial. One year off from being an elder millennial Right. I'm this close to being Eliza Sessingger. Yes, exactly. sort of heartbreaking for me. I thought I thought was I thought I was the quintessential. I thought you were too. I thought you were too. And I'm like I'm embarrassed by this V. You know I don't is wrong with me. I was just gonna say I don't love labels. L I don't go around telling you who my sports team is, what my town is, like but I do go around being like, I'm genen X. L I love I think you can because I think you are. I think No I' I'll lose it. No, I think you are more than you are millennial What's millennial mean, though? Millennial Are you a millennial? Yes, and I' can't the same gener.ab in the middle. So it's nineteen eighty one to nineteen ninety six and I'm eighty nine. So I'm like great you're right in the middle of And what what is what shit do you get So we got shit for being entitled being helicopter parented so like we didn't get I'm scoffing off my. Yeah, having, you know no grit because we were protected. But then that's that was what it used to be. Like I remember when I was in when I was teaching middle school, I was twenty two And I We taught like it was part of the curriculum to teach this article about millennials so that they could we could be teaching them about their generation. And the whole thing was like millennials and helicopter parenting. And it was this argument that because we were helicopter parented, we don't have grit and resilience and We have to like work hard. we have to reverse our entitlement Mhm. So that's kind of what I thought we were associated with, but now it's like not it's not that at all because We and I don't know if this had happened. I guess it had, but like we graduated high school right around two thousand eight and like that's that recession. So a lot of us graduated like Like college and high school and like so we were buying houses during that. That was one thing. Oh, we were like nine hundred eleven had you were the guys getting ripped by that crisis? We were getting ripped by that. There's like like a list of things. We were having kids during the pandemic. Oh I feel bad. we've had the like hardest That sucks. There's a whole list. I're gonna be Once the boom is with respect arere all gone. They're like the greatest generation, right? W. Well No no their parents were. I think that generation is called the greatest generation and hard. I know. it's stupid too. Yeah, but like I'm trying to make, well, yeah, you know where I'm going. I'm like Once we in the herd a little bit, you guys will get your day in the suny. you'll be like, look at what we the housing crash and then you had kids during the pandemic? Yes. And there's like a There's other things that I just am not remembering, but it's like we've had a lot of hardships in this generation and we're like the generation, although this spills over into GX for sure, but like where we're like We have more resources and we know more about trauma, so we're like healing our trauma while we're also parenting. And it's like this we're like cycle breakers. it's very cycle breakers. But heres so here's what's interesting. I don't know why I put a lisp on that. I didn't like it. So Amy Poher is Jen X and she's always talking about how you guys are the the forgotten generation because it's boomers are still in power And they really shouldn't be. They like millennials should be in power now M Oh because we don't hand it over anymore. And yeah. And like Gen X is just getting sort of leapfrogged where they're like like you'll never really likely have it's going to go from fucking Donald Trump to like u AOC, you know, like the millennials that are like Oh right. L G Gen X will never have a chance to be in power. there And Ryan was last night, he was like, that because he's gen x. He's like, that's actually also the most genx thing is just like, you guys do it. I'm not going to do it Like you guys just just skip over us, it's fine. Well, Elon Musk is Genex. Look, I don't like Elon Musk. I'm just saying that's a that's a powerful person. Yeah, that's true. And probably Jeff Bezos, maybe. For sure. Yeahah I don't even have to Google that. Like that those are genx He's going like, I'll mail you a DVD Yeah. That's the most And or is that Serrandos? I confused them so. I don't know. Serandos is Netflix Yeah, Serandus is Netflix. And you said is A Amazon. Yeah. That's also that seems like a very generx thing. We love video games. I'll send you one. Yeah, yeah. I guess that's true. That is true. So guys are having power right now. A lot of it. But that that was like three. We wantna hear the powerful people. The bit that I'll never do where I go, isn't it funny that like there's like, I don't know. I don't know how many billionaires there are, but let's say there's ten please don't mad. Don't get mad at my pickleball takeake. donon't get mad that I don't know exactly how many billionaires there are fer ease, let's say there are ten It's like Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, Saranda, I guess. And then the founder of Chipotle, did we already laugh about this? So like some of these guys are like, I'll overnight you any product. I'll replace every store. o, you're a billionaire. I'm going to make rockets that go to look, I have issues with Elon Musk you. I'm just saying like that's a pretty impressive business. Yeah. It's pretty pretty like it's literally like We hear a crack and a pop and I see a rocket going up and I'm like, Elon Musk, it's like fucking Lex Luther shit. Yeah That's That's a billionaire. And then one guy's like, would you like guacamole? That's fucking nuts. I know. If you There's got to be a business there certainly is, a business term for like a simple idea scaled. Yeah. It's McDonald's. We'll make you a hamburger. And he's like, I'll make you a ber like it's I'm so middle aged that I would like to know how he did that That's how middle aged they are. But it is insane it that it's not just everywhere. L it's It's crazy that Chipotle is the only one that did that because you're like that that's like street meet is like who wasn't trying to expand It ra. Who what popular burito shop in Brooklyn wasn't buying another one Yeah across town. They were all doing it. Why did Chipotle work? I know It's not because it's good. I mean it shots fired. I do like it. I like it but it's not is it What is it? It consistent It's consistent. It hit a zeitgeist, which is two idiots guessing. Yeah, but it did hit a zeitgeist where we want they caught slop. likeike we love slop bowls now. Oh like it hit the health trend of like protein Yeah could beown right. And it is, you know, it's different. It's like you can get a little nasty with it. It's like, can you put some sour cream on there? Like it's your birthday Yeah, you canes. Yeah, yeah. But like I mean, and it makes perfect sense because Mexican food and this is my favorite type of food. I loveeic. I love Mexican food more than anything But it is sort of like all the same ingredients in different forms. It's a Jim Gavan bit. Yeah. What's a quesadill goes, it's a tortilla cheese in me. What's a taco? It's a tortilla cheese in me. And he goes, justust say a Spanish word and I'll bring you something. Yes. I remember. Yeah It's a great bit. Yeah. And my old roommate, Crispr and shout out to my old roommate who is now a manager. He had a bet where he go I forget how he said it up, but he's like Sometimes they call it a burrito, sometometimes they call it a rap. It depends on the ethnicity of the person making it. That's so funny. It's like if it's a Mexican person, it's a burrito. Yeah. But if it's a white lady, it's like, it's Caesar rap. Like it could have beans and rice.s like, I got a rarap. That's like racist food. or racial food. Racial food. Racial that's not really true, but it is funny. It's a funny observation. Shout out to Chris Byrne Um, I Oh yeah. so but the one thing I wantna going back to the generations, the one thing I do want to get out there because it's so self serving is that Amy Pohler thinks that the millennials will save us. I like that. I was thinking about it today. Really I was literally trying to look around, you know, just look around looking around for a good feeling. And I was like, I think I'm just one of those old people now that's like, I think the young people might. I see a lot of good trends Yeah with the youngs. I see a lot of The Internet's giving us so much information, so much connectivity. It's also giving us, you know, death on a platter for sure. But like I see some good resistance, some smarts. Well, Gen Z, I think too will be. That's what I' Yeah for sure. Yeah. They're principle, they're anti AI. I love everything about you, little fuckers. I'm just say. I'm just saying like, yeah, good. I do I've made this observation before, but and I don't know if I've done it on the podcast But like Yeah, I think we have. We've talked about how like Whenever the new generation is emerging, they're really really starting to emerge once they get into the workforce. so that's like their early twenties. And we always seem to be like this generation is entitled and they don't work hard and they're slackers because they have technologies that we didn't have And also we're like it's because you're assessing them when they're in their twenties. That's how everyone is when they're in their twenties. That's right. Like you can't be held to how you are. I also think it's It' sorry baby. Well, no, no, That's just like, that's what happened with millennials. It was like you guys are entitled and you don't and then and then we're like Bitch, we've been going through way more shit than your boomer ass ever did. For real. it's a crazy thing that the technology is made by the previous generation. evenven if their basic technologies are then the reason why they blame the younger generation because they benefit from their innovations. Right. So even as simple as like in my day, we had to go to the Nickelodeon behind. Well, I thought I saw the house cleaners. It's the construction people el It's the construction ourur neighbors are doing construction, which leads to a pretty interesting story. Yes, it does. I let me just double check that they because I saw them pull up, but they're here the house cleaners, but I don't see them now. and and I don't have to you're worried about them. 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Right now, save up to thirty percent on mattresses and up to thirty five percent off On everything else when you go to casper. com try the pillows. thirty five percent off on the best pillows in the world, Casper d. comot onene last time, that's casper dot com and save up to thirty percent on the mattress you deserve So it just smells like breath in here Like morning breath. I hate that. This is my area. Oh All right, we're going to come back Becauseuse I was like, that's a fine place for the mid roll. So that was the break. great. And now we're gonna come back. Okay All right, so that does, we're back Valve, unlock the door. The cleaners are gonna to come in. Don't worry about it. Don't worry.t all got resolved. In fact, isn't it nice? There's so much life that you have nothing to do with and it's working out just fine. Yeah, totally. Like you have some stuff you have to do today. It's not my stuff You're going to do it. Yeah. That's nice to think about. Yeah. You get L you go and do your little to do list you're not little. I'm just saying you do the stuff you have to do I'm gonna to take a moment to feel the satisfaction that you're doing what you need to do. Are you tal to me? No, no, no, the people listening. Oh yeah.' some guy named Scott He's got to go to the post office today. You know that good feeling you get You did it Yeah Registered mail, got the insurance. mailed it off, then he gets the good feeling. Why can't I have some of that good feeling? He did it. That package had to be somewhere. I don't know the details, but can't I just be like, Gight. And there's a hundred million things like that happening every second. There's somebody that was really hungry and got a falael That's great. I don't get to feel that satisfaction. I don't I'm not welcome to that I am if I think about it. He was so hungry. He was on the subway and I got stuck under the river. And now he got out and he went to Mahoons. No line. This is great. I don't get the jooy. I don't get it. That's the funniest part. because you have great comedy stinks Thank you. That's short for instincts. That's right. Wait, what was the thing that you were gonna to say that was going to light me up Oh it's summer, but I'm fucking done. I'm fucking done Get the fuck out of my face, dude. I'm summer now. People keep emailing me like it's not the summer. People text me like it's not the summer. likeike hey, I was following up on that. Yeah, keep following up till septtember one because it's fucking summer And I feel it in I hate when people say every cell. I do a lot of breathwork and meditations and they always go relax every cell of yourody. I'm like, bitch, I don't control over. I don't have that. I can't go to control Every cell. How about my jaw? Yeah. That's a good one. Give me something I can actually do. Every cell There's one breathwork that I do where he runs, he's doing, it's like a guided meditation and Let me see if I can make you understand this I really love it It's on other ship It's called high frequency energy It's led by a great guy named great guy, G guy named Kyle But there's a part where he is bleing this breathwork and he's running out of air. He can't quite know It's not I don't think anyone would think it's funny, but he goes Feel the energy going all up, all up your spinal card. anyone kind of runs out. All up your back, all up your spinal card. It reminds me somehow of when you were young and you tried to do things like that. Like you tried to lead like a sleep while but there something goes wrong and you weren't ready. Yeah. it goes all up, all up your spinal card. you can't quite get it out. You shouldn't be doing the breathwork while he's instructing Bro. Well, he's not. Okay. but there's this runs out of brain. It also just reminds me of like ood rushing down. Like when you're young and you do all those like ASMR adjacent. Yes. But there always be like a moment where there's like, o, you're having a hard time doing this. Yes, you know what it is. I can't believe you understand what I'm trying to say. No, I know what you mean, but a hundred percent No, I do believe I can't believe it. It's the equivalent of and this is a millani bit but The equivalent of running out of room B to go down. Big S B. Yes. Big S B. Exactly. This is equivalent It gives me this incredibly unique sensation. that is like realizing you don't have any class today. L it's Tuesday yeah, it's summer. But it's like you forgot and you thought you had class and like what you You like introduce a bubble of relief and it's just so wonderful. And I wish everybody could find And I hope that you can and will. Look, people are getting falopels out there Yeah and find your right person. I just tried to explain breathwork foable. I didn't even explain it well, and you're absolutely right. It's exactly like making a happy birthday sign and running out of room.. It's exactly like making a happy birthday sign and running out of room. Yeah, it's very endearing too. It's sweet. I don't lagh Aam but I'm like This makes me feel like junior high, all up your spine up, all up your spinal card I' run. It's so hard that you like you can't do it intentionally, but we've all done it. Yes. Yeah. And' it's also it's sold in the same store as a nerdy person or dorky person. I don't know why whale dick is better than just saying they're kind of nerdy. Let's just say nerdy a nerdy person trying to flirt and it like he's trying to put his elbow on the bar table and slips off. Yeah. It's just like you're trying to be slick, you're trying to have ownership over my relaxation and you can't even your vo just fuck. And literally your breath. Your literal breath out of and you run out Yeah. There's a lot of mistakes.. I think some of the other ship Breathworks are from live recordings because they sometimes make mistakes Yeah. Totally makes me laugh. I love mistakes like that. I mean,'s the more people are trying to be professional, the funnier the mistake is. Thats That's also it. He's in a place of quiet authority, like leading a prayer. Yes, or leading a meditation, like a breathwork and he fucks up, That's so funny We've told the thing about my brother's story about the sand sand. when he typed the wrong word? I don't know. I don't know. I think maybe you have, but I love it every time. It's the perfect example of this because my Because he's an authority. Yes. And then you know, we have the added layer of like the closer you are to the person, the funnier it is when they make mistakes. I don't know if everybody has that But I have it love them But I love it more if I'm very close to the person. I don't know what that is. I don't know why. But it's like it's safe. I guess there's like intimacy and it's sort of like I know their whole their like range. Like if somebody that you don't know makes a mistake like that, you're like, I don't know. I don't know if you're like that and if you're always but I know this person. It's the same with watching someone trip or you know what I mean? Like I don't know Do they have vertigo? Yeah. I'm not trying to it's like literally like is this like a big issue? Is most of their day just tripping? Like if my mom falls, she's old lady, it's sad. If I fall. Yeah be funny. Y Yeah But but my people for whatever reason, some like a reason unbeknownst to me People that I'm close with Making a mistake is the quickest way to get me to die laughing And my brother was leading a training at his job. On Zoom to all these professors, he used to have a job where he like trained professors in the like he worked a in the tech department of a college And so it's like all these professors and he's trying to train them how to use this software And so he's shared his screen on Zoom and he types in the search box. He's like so I'm just going to go to the search box here and I'm going to type the thing that they were looking for was called sandbox It's like I'm gonna to type sandbox and he's like typing it as he's saying the word sandbox, but what he types is sandwich. It's it. It's so simple. It's that's the funniest? And then he goes, Oh, I must be hungry. Yeah, it must be getting closeed to lunchtime trying to save it. Be people that are in charge are just some person. Exactly. That's what's funny about that. I told you about when I used to do the offeratory prayer So that we would sing praise God from wh sings flow. I tried to think No I was doing it for you. Praise. We won't do it. No'll give people Du chills. Okay Do' it I actually like that song Well, I just mean like Yeah. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above the heavenly hosts Now we're getting into serious duality Praise his father' son and Holy Ghost Yes, Yes. Yes, yes. I mean, I would like it. Singing it being like, yes, let these words seep into every cell of your body Every cell of your body, relax every cell. It's also like, he's kind of being sexy. He's like relax your jaw. L it's like there's a little sexy. Breathwork is a little sex. Yeah. It's like filling you up holding it, squeezing it. It's like that's what they say Wow. Just realizing like am I a straight woman? because I want to be filled and squeeze it Squeeze what? The dick you squeeze the dck M me a little grip on it, put a little minge on it. That's from Extra 'use come on love, I've put a little minge on it. so that. It's supposed to be awful. Yeah, of course. It's supposed to be awful. Ter. She's on a date with Extra's a great show too. She's on a date with a really great seeming guy. and then when they have sex, that's the only thing he says awful. L Like wayit he says it over and over. No, he just says it once. It's just like he's complaining about the tightness or something or like that she's not giving enough. This is gross. I know I hate those, but that's that's One of the things that shows great at it is like surely someone in the writer's room that was their story. Yeah. And then they got to alchemize it and turn into a really funny thing An who's horrify us all. and horrify us. Yeah, breathwork, sexy There's something who They just rang the bell, but they're just gonna come in. Yeah, they'll just come in. It's fucking summer. It's summer, babies. It's fucking summer. Give me a Coke on ice. Give me a fucking hot dog. I want roller skates. know I'm not gonna to do any of those, but like that's I want a beach towel. I don't want a regular towel Beach towel. Beach towel huge or as I call them, towels. Oh They're the right size for me. I like a beach fuckking. I'm a beach. calling me a beach A beach I'm really I love living in where we live during the summer. It makes so much sense. It feels like a summer camp. It's like we go to the river, we go to the beach. We're like It's like, you know, a great place for the fourth of July. We have friends over in like I'm just so excited about summer. and we're about to do our east coast our east coast trip. We're gonna In fact, when this comes out, we'll be doing that. Yeah, we'll be we'll be on it and we're coming for you Northa share that Oh yeah, share that. What do you got That's fine I had a really Beautiful therapy session Why am I doing it this way? I don't know. Just try I'm trying to think of how to begin it and I'm making sure for real, I didn't interrupt you. No It's just like as a child, I was often looking for And again, I do want to say, I love my parents. They did a great job And I remember like just yearning for deeper sometimes deeper reciprocity sometometimes with my father who again did an amazing job. But I remember I'm a talker. I'm like what we're doing right now, I love it, like jammin and vibing. and that's why I typically had a lot of girl friends, lady friends, and why I was very close with my mom And again, my dad did better than his previous generation. Everybody's moving the ball forward.. That's that's all I'm going say just let' done. Yeah, but it's real. It's like everybody off the hook. everybody's Stone cold innocent. Yeah. But I remember Sitting in the Winnebago, we had this winnebago I think we owned it, I don't know. And we would drive and go on these family trips and Sometimes I would sit in the pilot seat, like the shotgun seat. and are just quietly meant a lot to me. that my dad was always driving and I would sit shotgun I remember there was this part of the lining of the there was this piece in between us that would get hot. from the engine and my feet would get cold and I would put my feet on the little hot thing. I would just sit there and it was when I feel like I'm john updyke right now. I'm just saying like I would get, not that I'm being that eloquent, but like it's this memory of That was how my dad would sort of open up to me because it was these long drives. And it was mostly just like he would listen to Bob Seger and I would see him cry like get emotional.ot cry, but get emotional. and talk about how Bob Seker's dad was a poet And like it was like as kind of close as I got to like a real glimpse. because he was I'm not saying it was road hypnotized, but, you know Yeah Nothing go and I was just kind of sitting there. It wasn't ping pong and back and forth, but it was this connection letting you in. A little bit. yeah And my dad Again, one more disclaimer, did let me in the ways that he let me in. and thank you Dad. I love you Dad. Anyway, I'm just saying, What's a podcast, Peta? Pet I was It's the radio, isn't it? I accidentally clicked on you Mail itw and I picked We M itw, number two, four, whatever it is. I listened for the first time forty two minutes and he's not talking about me, Ba now H It's great. justust would never happen. Yeah. Dear listener, that would never happen. And trust me, dear listener, that will never happen. U But even if it did, I've been pretty clear. Anyway, What I work in in so much of my therapy, and I hope this is valuable and trust that it is to some of you He's like just going to those parts that were so desperate and so like equated their safety with like being folded into something that might not have been easy to be folded into. like you just kind of maybe felt on the outside or maybe a little invisible or wh whatever it might have been. Yeah And that is the word. it was like I was kind of like, am I here? likeike am I am I in this group? Am I being folded in And what I did was I talked to that part and was like that that inner child, you could say. And I was just like, I let me drive the Winnebgo. It just came out is really authentic Sometimes we're doing, like I told the story of when I said it's exhausting, thinking so little of people. Every once in a while, like this really true like your unconscious is speaking. And in this moment I was speaking to my unconscious. and I was like, I know that that might have felt a little weird and you might have wanted more, you might have wanted more depth connection, witnessing, holding. and I was like And this is all therapy is, this is all internal family systems is going, let me drive. I'll drive you around. And we can honor that that might not have been what you wanted. You know, it might be a little disappointing. Yeah. But I went on and again, I know AI complicated, but like I went on Chat GPT. I uploaded a picture of me when I was about nine. And a picture of me now And I said, canan you make a picture of me driving this kid in a Winnebago with his sock feet up on the dash. And I showed it to Vallerie, she just started crying. It's up on my wall. I bear it. It's so sweet, you guys. And this it's incredibly sweet. Go ahead, please. Well, this picture of you As a kid, it's just o I can't even really look at it and talk about it at the same time. It's just so It's the picture that you isn't it It's the joyota. It's the production card for crashing. Yeahah. 'cause it just is this like pure childhood joy. And then like they made the picture of you, well, I guess you made thatownuict The grownu picture is just so it's it's you look same. It's like Well, I found a picture where our smiles are similar. The picture The smile is similar, but there is this like knowing like, you know, it's just No, he looks like a dad. He looks like a dad and he's like it's the same smile, but without the um like the childhood naivete, I guess. Yes. it's there's the same smile that's seasoned deepened and it's just and it look It's too much. Both hands are on the wheel. I'm looking forward. The kids got his feet on the dash. And I'm just like that That That's therapy. That's going to your wounds and saying I have, you know. Yeah. and even going like, I know maybe I'm not person you were hoping. Yeah. but this is what it is and it' and it's great And that is a big part of it. Speaking to the unconscious in the ways that it understands, which is images. So I've made that the wallpaper on right here on the computer. It's so sweet. I can't handle it Every bold journey starts with a decision to go, and if you're ready, the Defender is too. This is a vehicle built for more, whether you're heading off the grid or just getting out of town for the weekend. Defender is a true icon, reimagined for a new generation. Its rugged exterior is built from durable materials and tested in the toughest conditions Inside, it's modern, functional and refined, with smart storage and premium touches that keep you comfortable wherever the road leads. It's packed with tech, like three D surround cameras, clear sight ground and rear views, driver assist features, and an intuitive infotainment system. 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Get free samples, expert design help and professional measure and install services, or DIY with confidence and support every step of the way shhop up to fifty percent off sitewide, plus huge savings on doorbusters right now during the fourth of July megale at blinds d. com And it's so sweet. I feel it massaging that point in. It's like, it's okay. I'll drive it. L we talk about this all the time, but look at the resources, look at the family, look at the love, look at the honesty, look at the sharing. and every generation is doing a little bit better. We don't have to have malice or bitterness. It's just like, this is what it is, But please trust me I'm driving us now. And I said this to him I was like, we have a lot of the same interests. L we can go to fununspot in Vermont, which is an arcade. I want to go too. Yeah. Like I will not be rushed. L we can spend the whole day there. Totally. Well, I mean, it really is therapy. I think that's the whole point is, you know, When we are reactive or Dysregulated its it so often is because we are identified with our child's self and our limbic brain doesn't know time and it so it thinks that we are still relying on other adults for our you know, our salvation and our survival. That's so right. And the whole thing is just I'm an adult. Yes. ye. You saying as your adult self to your child self, I've got you. I've got you until your child's self believes that And then in even the act of saying like, I got you. And I remember doing this in the early days of therapy and just being like She doesn't believe me. Oh, we have to push through that too. She doesn't believe me. And it's like, okay, that's why my therapist so great. Jennifer Murdoak, I love her so much. and her just being like, yeah, it's fine. We'll just keep showing up for her Like we'll just prove it by Sometimes showing up numb or there's like a static or a song will start playing in my head and my therapist will be like, o, it sounds like there's a protector that's trying to stop you from talking to this part. W. And she's like, can we just And then, you know We just go like I'm not trying to hurt or take anything away. I just want you to experience less pain. I want to make your life easier. I'm not here to change or stop anything. And like can you you say to like the numbness Will you just sit next to me? Like you can stay, but will you just sit next to me while I talk to this part? And then Again I always like to joke this is ten thousand dollars worth of free therapy. But it is just saying finding the wound The sadness, the fear and going like look at me now, please just look at me now. and it's just I'm Well, I' forty seven Mh. I'm about the age, I think my I'm not here to do math, but I'm about the age that my father was. Prob. And it's like Let's you and I can have I know what you need. Y. I understand you. Yeah. Let me witness you. let me see you. Yeah. And then like Fun spot or the arcade is just a metaphor for like We can be safe and we can be free and we can hold each other and see each other. I know maybe this sounds veryery West cooast and New Ai, but it's It's very I have a friend who does internal family systems. I think you need a therapist. That would be my number one recommendation. Yeah I think they do see a therapist, but they also do it on their own And they just it's just you start feeling you're body, feeling inside your body, finding a feeling like a sensation then being like, what what are you trying to say? Who are you? what are you?? How old are you? Yeah? And it's Id Don't do makeem upps. If I don't see it, I don't say it. I don't perform. Tle anything And I'm shocked at how much these things show up. And it'll show you a flash of something just an image of your past and you're like And you can talk about it for three hours. L it's like the wisdom of your unconscious if you give it the stage. Yes and then It can be tricky for it to see you. You start by seeing it and being like, I see that. I understand that. and I understand why we are the way we are and how that's been useful to us. And it takes a lot of that I sometimes feel like it's like feeding a stray cat Like you put out the cream, but it doesn't trust you. R you know, whatever you need to do or you back away You sit down and you sit really still. Yes. And then the cat comes and drinks and you don't pouound. It's like, I'm so glad you're here, you have to be like, yeah drink some. And then like slowly the cat goes, who gave me this cream? Who gave me this understanding, who gave me this space? And then you can go like can you Can you see Yeah How old I am? Can you see how I'm sort of grateful that I am a big person because I'm like, do you see how big I am? It's not about physical size. It's just kind of like, look, I'm a grown upp and there are parts that don't believe it. Oh yeah. I can't it's such a weird thing, Oh my gosh. You don't know. Yeah Just look at my It's funny the outfits I pick. I and dress up a little bit. L I'll be wearing something that's casual, but like Look, I'm a man. I'm a grown man. Like I'm not going in my PJs to meet my inner children. I'm going in like show somethingomething I would wear on Kimmel. Yeah. something Tasteful, but to get custody of these Kid And you're like this matter O it's like Lila just got her. You're exactly going in front of the judge, which is the protector. kid is on the stand and you're dressed in a way that's casual, but together to say, I can take this child. He can come with me. And this is like official and there's safety in it. It also makes me think of U Lela just got her yellow belt in Kung fu And our friend Si Fu Jhon, the teacher the of Kung Fu him and the other instructor wore a special shirt just for the testing Yeah And like she was the only one that was testing. So I was just like so moved. Yeah. Like I was like, these men put on their special shirt just for her. I know to test And it's like this beautiful like mutual respect. And it's saying like, you earned this because you showed up for this class and so we're gonna to show up for you. It's like it's like I could totally cry. It's like such a sweet adult child relationship, you know, like this it's like that's what reciprocity looks like. Yep. In fact, And I'm not forcing this, and I know we're out of time here, but like We have no time in the summer.. Like now we hate the summer. like we just can't There's a memory. I went to Cambridge Trend School, which is actually closing. It's a great school And they had something called Mayfair kind of like the May poole thing. And I remember my father in the eighties dressed up as a clown Re put on a red afro. Oh my God. the full classic clown makeup. and there's I wish I could find this picture. I bet I could. There's this picture of him smiling huge, like the kid in that picture and like how much it meant to me that my dad And this is my point, by the way. Yeah. The more I give bowls of cream to these cats. Yeah, the more they'll go O, we can remember that dad dressed up as a clown and how much that meant for me. Yeah meant to me. That's right. And like I don't I don't make the rules. Yeah. It would be great to just jump over the disappointments or the hurts or whatever and just go to straight to gratitude. But I'm saying for me and I think millions of other people, that's not how it works. Yeah You have to honor their A fear and their sadness first. And then it's like It's like the cat brings you the metaphor sort of falls apart, but it brings you a memory. Yeah. It goes like, now that you've seen me, I'll let us see this because otherwise it's just old child programming of forcing yourself to only go That's right. Well, I cried when I had no shoes till I met the man with no feet. What are you going to do? It is what it is. otherther people had it worse And then it's like, no, that's not how your feelings work. Yeah. you fucking look at this first and then I'll give you this. That's toxic pos positivity. That's exactly what toxic positivity is is like just go straight to the positive and it's like There's no There's It's not real. it's pretended can't if I can't also look at the paint. It's like a shirt made out of masking tape. Yeah. You' like, it's a shirt. it's like it's sticking to you and see through. No, it's a shirt. It's why don't we just sit down and sew this thing? And I don't like that it's a West cooast hippie cliche that you would like process and feel your feelings. I'm from Boston for fuckake. like the move, but you know, there are people in your family that do the same thing. Don't open that can of worms, donon't look at it. It'll kill you That's I mean, that's in internal familyily systems language. That's a protector that's going, this will kill us. Yeah. And then you go, can we just look at a little bit of it? Yeah. The rewards of that I know aren't just a full three D awareness of your trauma. it's a full three D awareness of what you're grateful for. It's everything Its dad is a clown. It also I haven't thought about that in years. Yeah, I've never heard you say that. I didn't know that. It's probably been ten years since I've thought about that because they were like, no, it's like locked. levels in a video game, you have to do the first island in GTA before the bridge opens up. Well, and not to be, you know, even more West cooast hippie about it, but this is like the truest thing that I've found And this is a perfect example of that is you can't actually Luck out, exile the bad and keep the good. If you are exiling anything, you're exiling all of it. Yeah. So if you want to experience the, you know, intense joy of being like, it's summer. and you get to like feel that fully then you have to also be willing to feel fully the depths of your despair. That's right. Like that's they just it's a package deal. This this is how this reality works. And that helped me sleep last night. Remember so we drove home from Largo last night and we usually have these like good late night conversations where they have to be interesting enough to keep us awake. Yeah. And we came back to thank you for everything. I know I say yes, thank you. Rupert Spyra says, thank you for everything is If you had that as a practice, it would be enough. And I was like, oh, there's areas in my life that I haven't been applying that to. and one of them is fear Like I'll be afraid of something. And you're not You're not saying thank you for the thing you're afraid of to happen. like it hasn't happened. You just go, thank you for this fear. It's like my brain to help me sleep I would wake up And I'm obly replaying things I said at the show. likeike why did I say that? Why did you do that? or that could have been funny or that was too much of a share like What's wrong with me or whatever. And I just go, o, beautiful. Yeah. Thank you. Thankk you for all of this. It's so alive. Yeah so alive. And that's the same thing with this with these traumas and these fears and these inconvenient inside parts. They're not inconvenient, but Yeah We're afraid of them. Yeah You go into them and you're like, this this really is sensation. This is life. This is the opposite of being gray and Yes Falling asleep and looking out the window. like you're really digging I don't know. I feel really resourced and happy right now, but I'm like, Everything, even bad feelings can be like held and even you can even be grateful. Well, that is the ultimate freedom that's on the other side is when you are telling yourself, I will die if I look at this And then you actually do look at it and you don't die. Yeah. So you must not be who you thought you were. That's what round then. And you just go like Oh, I actually am not I'm not fragile. I'm resilient and that's freedom, then I don't have anything to fear. And usually what comes even on the other side of it is sort of less of a fear of death too where you're like, All right, so death is just another thing that I think I can't face. But I know that I have been here before where I think I can't face something and I do it. Right. So that's just just add that to the list of things that I think I can't face and I will do You know, Well, that's my My we're going to wrap up here, but like I love that we got really into the fillet of the conversation right here in the end. But like I still have old churchy feelings of like God's gonna get me, He's gonna to hurt me, He's mad at me. And it's been really interesting to be like, thank you for this. Thank you for everything. I'm a human being who had these parents, who had this church, who had this experience, who' an ar like making art, it gets messy, it gets weird, I get scared big flare ups of hyper white hot confidence and certainty. And then I have little child boy feelings of like, but God hates me, right? And it's like, ye. Yep, it's like reading a book