Production Cards and Closing Remarks

Did you bring that? No. Was that just here? Yeah I thought the lady would be here. Get you represented. Oh that's right . Well, welcome Welcome to your mom's house If you want a healthier home without the hassle, meet canopy. Beautifully designed wellness essentials for cleaner air, fresher water, and everyday self care, including humidifiers , air purifiers, shower, bath and faucet filters, from clean, filtered moisture to help support restful sleep to filters that help reduce chlorine for softer skin and hair. Canopy upgrades your and your family's daily routines with product s that are easy to use and maintain. Shop getcanopy. ca and use code podcast at checkout for ten percent off your order. Ready in Hamesh Aba Shalosh im? He knows the only guy that actually knows what you're fucking saying. Everyone's always like, What kind of cryptic bullshit is that? It's blackmailing the government. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. We're here with the great Ary Shafir, everybody. Let 'em hear it. Thank you . Before nice, thank you. Well, obviously get into great detail, but just a reminder to everybody that the end is out. It's at YMH Studios. com . This is multiple episodes with a crazy line up of comedians doing the storytelling show you popularized. All right, all is that it? four syllables that's big for you. Big word. I don't usually speak. Yeah, it's crazy. But obviously you had your storytelling show that you used to do around town. This is not happening, which contractually legally is completely unrelated to this show. Completely unrelated. It was also a story telling show. If any other comic says it's the same, that's on them. That's on them. If Tom or I say it, that's a major problem. It's a big problem. So this is a different show. It's a different show, but it was a storytelling show . We would do it I remember doing it at Melrose and Yeah, we did it in small rooms and then small rooms and then eventually there was a show on Comedy Central and we did that and then those clips lived on YouTube where they got some of them got wildly popular. Millions before that was like a real thing. Yeah. Millions of hits. I remember there was a thing because I was doing I did a couple stories on there. I did I did my OD story which went like it had crazy amount of views when I tell last time I saw, can you pull that up my Tom ODs? That's from wild. Yeah. And I remember I had never talked about that on stage and you were like, yeah, talk about it on the show. You told me some of the stories we got were like off stage stories and I'm like, Dude do that . How many will we got? They fucking recuddle up though, that's the right way. It's got sixteen million views. Twelve point five million subscribers. Really sixteen million . sixteen million views. Yeah. I thought sixteen M was meters. That is wow . It was consumed for different things, but that's pretty million views, especially as you as a comic then were like killing it. Twelve years ago? Yeah. Yeah, I mean okay, but yeah, it's a nice like it was a nice people's homes. Oh yeah, that was a real nice like bump. And then I did it again. I did my Bruce Bruce story. Oh yeah which was, also so fun like again, one of those things where this is what was great I loved about the format is that I like telling stories anyway but and that has what is it? That has six million views. Wow . I like telling stories, but sometimes you go, this is what I've learned like touring with stories . Sometimes you're like it's you need the long form version to tell the story and it doesn't quite fit into like the hour format . Especially when you're doing joke jokes and suddenly like now we're going to slow down for about eighteen minutes. Yeah, so this became a place where you could do those things and they set up the crowd to like they're ready for it. Everybody's like just like this crowd's ready for it. Don't worry about that. I used to always get so fuckin irritated at the guys who would be doing their act . Maybe like they're not doing this maybe so mad. Can you put a bleed button on if I need it? Yep. You're in Montreal where we're doing one and that's the one. Just straight act and then afterwards he was like, that was so fun. Thanks man . I'm like, You ruined it. You didn't do the show. That what? There was another guy who I watched, I think at Melrose. Yeah , and I was like, I was in the back of the room shaking my head angrilla. Like I was like 'cause you gotta do it. You're nervous comfort zone. You fucking are supposed to do what we're all doing here and I could tell that and the thing is they're doing it out of fear. They're instead of just trying something Yeah, they're just like, I don't want to risk it not working. Yeah, Ralphie was like, I remember him doing one and he did a great story about getting dunked on by I think Corlus Williamson in junior high school. Oh gosh. So and he got nuts in the face. Yeah. So this like ninth grader was a beast and he didn't really ever do that one. Yeah, he didn't do that. He dealt live at the improv and he goes, I'm nervous. I haven't really done this before. Yeah. And I'm like, Ralphie's nervous is crazy. The only time he got nervous was when they ran out of wings there was this thing dude, do you remember by the way, do you ever have when you're a kid and you play sports , you allow yourself to fantasize so much about going to the next level and you have those throwing the ball to yourself and like in the game seven of the strike strike one. Okay. In the game seven of the strike and then if you're like if you're playing organized sports and like you're you're a starter and you're controlled, you're like I'm pretty good, right? I mean, you have those like this guy's gonna go on to play it all the day that like you're humbled, you just never forget. For basketball, see people would think it was a few years ago, but it was actually many, many years ago when I was playing a few years ago. I was playing , you know, middle school and I was a pretty decent player and then we got to high school and we went one day to the gym. This was in Milwaukee the suburbs of Milwaukee and Milwaukee you grew up there? For a couple years. Okay . And I went to I went to the big one of the one of the big public high schools and we go to the gym we're going to like try to get into some pickup game. We're all like, you know, pretty good . Yeah, like we play basketball. Yeah. And we walk in and Milwaukee is a very segregated city, very considered to be the most segregated major city in America. What do you mean like men on that side? Women on that like a Jewish wedding? I'm talking more like so they had this they called, I think they called it the two hundred twenty program, which is they would bus in inner city kids to dominate you? To go to this high school so that they were n't just going to the high schools over there . So we go into the to the big, you know, auditorium , like gym at school and we're watching a bat and we all kind of just walk in and I watched a high school kid on a fast break cup the ball and do a side dunk, like this. And we were all like, ah , we're never gonna play. Just you like, oh, everything I thought is wrong. Yeah, everything I thought is wrong. Everything I thought is not real . This is not just dog. Not just dog, but like well, not a donkey's boy. And then there was a Nigerian guy who was shirtless and fat. He had a gut. Yeah. His name was Afuma. Okay. And he did a three hundred and sixty. What? Shirtless and fat and we were like, What? We were like, we should fuck. Damn it. We should play tag. Andy Hayne said he had this but he was skiing. He was like a high level skier and they were doing this jump over a street over a road jumping over this road. And he did it and he was like sick and then he looked back and the other guys were flipping over it and he goes, Oh, I'll never be on that. Oh, okay. Yeah, where I am. I have a hobby. Yeah I have a hobby. Jenny, it's funny, it coincides a lot when you find out you're not going to be as good as you thought. Yeah . Coincides with meeting a black person . Yeah, it's right around the same time. All your dreams are crushed by meeting a black person. Yeah In football, it happened to me later. Really? It happened to me later. It was also a black guy though. Yeah. And it was a teammate. I've told this story, but I always remember it that, you know, you're I'm playing in high school . I'm starting both ways. Really? Yeah, and I know I'm two way starter. Yeah, it was two way starter on the line. It was a center and defensive tackle. So I'm like , I'm always on the field. And like, you know, I make plays. I know I'm not like a fucking five star player, but I never had I played against a couple guys that ended up playing in the NFL. So I knew that they were different, obviously , but I didn't realize crazy good the guy next to me was . You know what I mean? You're playing against him. Yeah, because we're always like on the same and one day we did a drill. I think I was I forget if I was a junior or senior, but we did a drill past Rush drill where I was blocking and the way that he went past me and I didn't know what was happening. Yeah, I was like, just one fake and gone over here. What? And I asked for them to do it. I was like, again, and the coach was like, yeah, sure. And they landed magic. That wasn't right. Yeah, yeah, I don't accept that that was luck. And he did it just over and over and I was like, oh shit. Oh yeah . Okay . Oh, yeah, there's a reason that the college recruits are at practice watching him. It wasn't for me . It wasn't because I'm also a three point four GPA. Because there's a reason Mississippi State and Syracuse are at practice today . I actually had that later with swimming when I went to I think it was your house. Well, you're a good swimmer, you're saying? I thought I was okay because I swam a little bit. Yeah. And then got challenged by a fat floridian. Oh, Bart. Yeah. And I was like, Crush, you dude, you're fat not shared. It's the first time I saw the Mickey Man Jane. He I remember told me about how great of a swimmer he was. But then I think on his, you know, he did that, what's that like festival thing he does? Yeah, the Britz hold on. There's a comic who forgive me for not knowing was a college swimmer. I forget somebody in this circle swim in college and Bert was like, I bet I'll dominate you. Yeah, and whoever, it's him. Bruce was Matthew Brass College summer. Okay, now Burt. I think I might be getting it kind of wrong, but you know, Bert was like, I bet I can and Matthew was like you can start like in the middle . And Bert was like, it was insane. Like, yeah, he swam in college. Bert. Burt's also good at going, okay, I think I do believe I won't win this if he swam in college. Nope. But let me talk trash like this guy just started today. And also let me be sure. I still will I w makeanna the claim until you prove you're wrong. There's Oh my god, he's got what the fuck, Matthew? Yeah. Is that a photoshop on both air parts? Not even one of those looks like real bodies. Yeah, that dude. My God, he's a better swimmer than birds. Did there's a few comics who are better than anybody you've ever met at a sport? Juda Freelander, ping pong. Oh, really? Kelsey Cook, Foozeball. I learned about that that she and she also told me a great story about how fun it is because men will be like All right, little lady. I'll fucking I'll give you game and then she just she can like look at them as she does it. You know? She I thought I was good 'cause you had a football table at the comedy store. We played nonstop up there. She's a championship level . And I scored one offer. I think we did my old podcast. I did one and I scored one. She was played and I scored and I was like, oh, you fucking bitch, dump twot. And it's just like and then it was like fifteen straight and you can't at some point you don't even know the ball. Yeah. You're just like wait wait wait wait wait dropping it again, dropping it again. That's crazy. Wait, so what is Freelander? He was he a competitive player? Is that Ping Pong? Yeah, like he'd see him at like, you know, when you like go to like the pickup games at the park of your neighborhood where it's like, that's where all the good players. He's that for Ping Pong and I wonder who it is other places. I wonder who it is for chess. There's got to be a dumb fuck. Who is chess ? I mean, you'd have to be not a dumb fuck. Definitely. Which negates pretty much all of us. Most, yes. Those comics are dumb fuck. I always talk to Kirk about how when you're at the hallway of the store, yeah, and there's guys the comics are walking around, you're like, this is a mental asylum. Like this is crazy. When people go like, why is that so weird? I started giving benefit of the doubt. I'm like, well, it's probably a comedian going to the belly room. They're weird, they're probably trying to make a joke. Yeah. But then also some of them were just insane. Yeah, it's fully insane. And you're forced around insane people. Yeah. Signing up for open mics. You're like,'re well all, try Iing to make it. And other people are like, I'm just trying to find a warm place for an hour. Yeah, that's trying to make it, bro. I've made it if I'm in. Here you go. I'm giving this to you, but I am Rai Shapier. It's a fucking crazy night we're gonna have here. Shit's about to go down Look, and we're gonna talk ball. This is a love story. Middia, herbes, gonorrhea AIDS. Hi Dan Red Austin. You in the room One of the worst things that could happen . What's your favorite Bible person? I don't know and I'm Catholic. Did you just shave your pants? It's not my shit. If you're out there, lady, don't call me. I'm the bad guy in the story. I know that. I'll be a better person tomorrow. At least he's consistent. It's finally something we can agree on. Discuss it in hard. It's not the evening I plan, but I'm having a blast. Now if you'll excuse me. 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See less cards go abandoned more sales go ching with Shopify and their ShopPay button. Sign up for your one dollar per month trial today at Shopify. com slash YmH Go to Shopify com dot slash YMH . That's shopify dot com slash Y MH a cha ching. Before I play our opening clip, another thing I have to say is that finally my flagship bakery too . Explain to me what the fuck this is. Okay. So now you don't eat all the bread, you're wanna give it to other people? Yeah, exactly. Interesting . I hate thin, Tom. Really? I fucking hate this guy ? You hate me? Yeah. You want me to get fat? Yes. You're like the people in the comments. They want you to get fat? Of course. They want you fat. A nonstop. Yeah. I miss fat tom. I listen, fat Tom you could look down on. Fat Tom wouldn't bake other people's bread. Fat Tom would just be hoarding the bread. And that's what you want? Because eventually you're gonna look away and I'll steal your bread. Oh, okay. And now you're selling it for a profit at a fucking coffee shop . Yeah, what do you got? Buuetz. What do you got? What do you got? It's croissants. It's yeah, sweet croissants. Oh yeah . It's I mean, look at this . Wait, what is this deal? What 's the deal? I'll tell you the story. I'm joking around about Fat Tom, but what is the deal? This is the story. used to go to this place in LA . I used to always tell people, I mean, I even talked about it in my act how much I love croissants. And one day it's the breakfast version of Slice of Pizza and Go. It's the best. Yeah, it's the best. And there's so many disappointing ones, just like with pizza. So when you find a really killer one, you get excited . So somebody told me go to this guy's place if you love croissants. I go really and the person told me best croissants in LA. So I got excited. Okay . I go , I order one and I'm like , holy shit. It's great. These are amazing. So I meet the guys, name's Giamba, Italian guy from Cinquetera in Italy. And I go, these are the best ants I've ever had. I start to frequent the place and one day I do, you know, like an Instagram post. I go, I'm at this guy's place. These are the best croissants. You can trust me. I'm a fat piece of shit. I'm fat. Trust me. And I post that. Yeah. And they were like , dude, all these people started going. Came today and they were just like, thank you. Like, you know, it was just like, thanks for doing I go back. You don't owe me anything. I just love . It's just like when you go to a great, the great thing about when you find a great spot is you tell other people and then they go, holy shit, thanks for telling me that was amazing. So it's that type of relationship . As a fantasy, I was like, man, I wish I wish you I could have your place in Austin selfishly because I love your food. Okay . No, I'm saying because his places in LA . Well one day we start talking and he's and I'm like, That would be crazy if we could do that in Austin. And then one day he's like, yeah, I would . If you want to if you want to partner up, I'll do it. Really? So like this? He's like, if you want I move. It's you, and it's me. It's together, we are leaving. We do the thing and we celebrate the c asso . So then he moves here . We open a pop up location because it takes like we have to find a place to open our place and we have to see a pop up. So the pop ups at the fairground, which is under the Wells Fargo build ing in downtown. Okay . Then we opened a counter place where you could like in the Scarborough building. Like as you walk into the building , you can we have a little section. How do people go for it? What do you mean? Did people find out about it ? Yeah, I mean, they found they found out about it from just walking around, from us talking about it, but the whole focus has been to get this brick and mortar location open . And so it is now open and it's eleven hundred south Lamar. It's right if you're looking at the Alamo Draft House, like if you walk out of there, we're on the corner there. And we have we have all the breakfast pastries. We have homemade Italian sandwiches. Ooh, fresh pizza and we have a full bar . Oh, really? Yeah. And so it's it's really exciting for me because I've always wanted to share how to work? Are you gonna do like what do you call it? Pull Pull at the pull coffee? I mean, I could pull coffee. I like serving. Like I go behind the counter and I just take orders and I serve. Really? Yeah, I mean, I'm wow. It's fun though. It's very fun. And it's like, it's the best, here's the thing. I don't have to sell you on it. His shit is hard to believe. Yeah, it's true. Partners. Yeah, we're partners. Hey can I suggest an ad for you? Sure just because this is Lamar. Yeah. And my immediate thought went to Lamar from Revenge of the Nerds . Can you do a big thing with like you're holding a big rod of like croissants and you're going like this and then chuck them? Chuck 'em? Yeah. Guys, team.ch Te te am. Can you yes? Remember when he threw that and he was like, it's all bendy. Yeah, do one of those, but with croissants. And then be like, come see us on South Lamar. Yes, yes , yes, yes. Yeah. That is a good idea. Okay, thank you. Okay, that's fucking cool, dude. It's a business. It's very exciting. It's like you're building yourself too. I love it. It's my favorite thing I've ever like . I'll go. Please come, please come, and I hope you guys check it out. All right, here is our opening clip. Ready? Here we go. I'm at David Buster. Oh, you're David Buster. Have a good time. I'm enjoying myself. Looking forward to my birthday tomorrow What ? Who was wrong? What? Black joy? It's just black joy. It's just black joy. Well, welcome . Welcome to your mom mom's house . Welcome to Guru Talk and Christina the Welcome to your mom's house That's too long. It's always been too long. It's too long. It's always it's frustrating. At some point, it's too long. It's always been the longest. Wow . You kind of get over it and then it starts nagging at you and then you're like, and then you're fully aware that it's too long too, which is a longer period. I know. In between, it's starting to notice too long too, when you're like, hey, and then eventually like, hey, you gotta say , it's so long. Think is when people come in and they , you know, don't know anything about it and it's and they go, What's going on? They go, What's happening right now? And I'm like, It's the intro. And they're like, still. I mean, I could have been returning emails. It was like, it was like, I wanna a commercial break. I know. It's crazy. It's just how it is . That's what I mean, what's he laughing? I don't know. He's just really happy about his birthday David Buster. It seems like he's having mushrooms. Just like laughing overnight. Also reminds me of my father, you know, that's where one of the reasons I play it is because he just loved watching black people have fun to say it all the time. So yeah. What do you think? You know, when you're done with a show and somebody's like hate a show , you're like, you know, thank you. Yeah, but you've done played for a million people, so thank you, but to a degree, thank you . But then when a black guy says, Thank you. It's so much better. What do you think the ratio is? I know what I have. What is black compliment to white compliment . Oh, cool shirt, also black compliment to white compliment. What's what to what? Okay, you're talking about one of my favorite topics of all time. Okay , which is the hierarchy of black compliments. I've thought about it extensively. Oh , so the way that I rank black compliments, okay? I think there's like a pretty much a top five . Okay first of all, you're fit if they go if a black person compliments your outfit. Your fit. Oh, right. Yeah. That's higher. You know that you did a good job. You're like, oh shit. Okay , okay. Right above that is if they just compliment your shoes. That's definitely a bigger. It's bigger than an outfit. It's bigger than an outfit, I think, because shoes are like a staple of black culture, you know? Like sneakers. So like if a black guy's like those are some sweet kicks, you're like, okay, I'm going to clean these and put them in make and sure that I wear these on the appropriate occasion. Okay , okay . After that would be a black guy complimenting music choice. If you're listening to a a black guy's like yo , like you're DJing. And he's like he's like you're like that feels great. You're like, wow. You have to play it off. Be like, oh yeah, it's just and again for context. And then if a white guy says the same thing, like nice playlist, you're like, thanks. Yeah, thanks, man. Okay. Yeah, by the black guy doing it . And then second to like the second best of the whole black compliment thing. Yeah , is a compliment about you being funny. It's ten times more powerful than a white guy saying you're funny. I think it's ten to one. I think yeah , I mean maybe you can go five to one . I had eight to one in my own I had eight wrong ansswer. There' no, but it's definitely the amount of joy it brings you. It's the amount of it's so much stronger and also like outfit. Okay, okay, okay. If he's a real buttoned up black guy, it's not the same. It's not the same. He's at Carlton. Yes, it's not quite the same the same. Not. You want to be like, you know, a little jazzy Jeff over Carlton. Definitely. And then I think number one is athletic prowess. If a black guy talks about like your jumpshot or something . You're like, all right, just bury me now. Like just let's just call it a day. Okay, I got a story for each one of these. Now I want you to notice that I let you finish before jumping in. It's how conversations work. It's how conversations work. Are you done with this? I can hold this thought for a minute until you're done with that. No, that's good. Obviously, there's no reason I had to jump in because I already have in my head what I want to add. And you finish your thought and I'll get to what I wanted to tell you. And it's an exchange of ideas. Oh, finish what you're saying. Thanks for laying the table at what this conversation's about. How glad you brought that up. I also can contribute . Yes. Yeah, please. Guys, if your lady, fella, or whoever sends you an eggplant emoji after dark, they're ready for better sex and you should be too. That's where Blue Chu comes in. They've been on a mission for years to get you bricked up, build your confidence and help you actually perform better in the bedroom. 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While supplies last price until on may fourteenth or may twenty seventh, US only exclusive supply see Home Depot. com slash price match for details. Okay , what was five again? Five was outfit. Five outfit. Okay, I got one. I have one for each of these. I was at , I think Wyatt Senic show in Brooklyn, doesn't matter. And there was a black guy in there with Alana glazer and he said, I like your sweater. Nice sweater. It's cool. How good does that feel? It felt so good. Found it later. It was Quest Love . Even better. It's way better. Way better for sure. And that guy's got style on top of just being black. And musical genius. Yeah. H and M sweater. Love that . And I'm like, thanks, man. Thanks, Question. I was like, who was that guy that was like really nice? And they were like, yeah, they were like, that was a Did he have a pick in his hair ? Yeah , yeah, yeah. Number two, shoes . Yeah. Monroe Martin and Derek Ainz consistently, I was trying for a little bit to rock these bowling shoes that I stole. I thought they were cool. Yeah. Hence why you stole them. Yeah. And they informed me that it was not cool. Oh, so the opposite. Okay. I never wore them again. Yeah, because of how powerful the black compliment is and the black insoule right there with it. Yeah. What's three? Three would be your music choices . Music choices. Okay, I got one there too. Wow. Yeah . Listening to Led Zeppelin in college doing an all nighter and the whatever and then the what's the fixed guy like a Janitor guy comes in and he's cool younger guy like thirty five or something. You know, I'm twenty two. Yeah. And he goes, Oh hell yeah man, Led Zeppelin. And I was like, you know, Led Zeppelin? He goes Yeah, they didn't play hop on the radio when I was growing up. So the cl osest we got was black inspired white music. Yeah. And I loved Led Zeppelin. And I was like, oh, hell yeah. Yeah, see that's stuck with you. It's stuck with me always. Yeah . What's two? Two is funny. Okay, here's one for that too . Again, let's just point out for a second. You got out your whole thing scale. Yeah, and now we're talking about it. Yeah, okay. It's an interesting technique. It's all. It's one way to go. I wish I could apply it elsewhere. I wish I could . I saw you waiting on the comment that I waited on . I'm so glad you saw that too . You ever have you must have this. A whole thing, I'm like, all right, I have this playing in my head in the car I thought we're gonna get it all out and then you get about a quarter of it out and then it's gone. And I want to go back to what you were actually making. You was about big dick as the most feminist. All right, we'll go back. We'll go back. Okay, I finished me my cannon and I forget her name. Someone from like New England . We were working at a casino up there in like Syracuse area and we finished and we're walking to go get the at the restaurant. Take your arm under that cordus, give me anxiety. Thank you . And now we found that Tom is autistic. Yeah . There was a water bed bar in the East Village. There's a water bed you can sit on and I had a drink on the corner and someone comes over and it's like, excuse me, guys. It was like three or four I was I think the roast was zero. I was like, yeah, and he goes, Can you take that glass off from the corner of that? And I was like, why? I go, My friend's highly autistic and he's freaking out about it. And he's just like this. And I was like, yeah, okay. And I put it on the table and he goes . And I was like, Damn, dude. That's tough to live with. I think that's really nice about it. Okay, so we're walking to the restaurant and we pass a pup we're trying to get to eat before it closes. And we're in the casino so you're with a lot of people from the show. And they're like, Second, it's like, okay, thanks not to T slryow down. Like, let's put our heads down and want to eat. And then we get in and we're like, thank you. And then there's a black guy at a table. He goes, Hey, you guys had a good show. And we're like both just naturally stopped. And we're like, oh, thanks, man. I really appreciate it. Did you have a good time? Where are you from? Yeah, yeah. All of a sudden you're the most social guy. That's so cool, you man. I'm glad you had a good time. It's all about that. White guy's like great set. And you're like, thanks. Yeah, yeah. Black guy. You're like, oh yeah , wow. Yeah, that's when I realized the eight to one. It was that moment. It was it's very strong. And then number one was that athletic prowess. And that's never happened. Never . I used to play basketball at the park in Sligo Korea . And I was better on defense, like most white people better on defense and offense. Yeah And I'd block shots. I was good at it. I was wary . They would just have a standing foul call. If I'd blocked it out of bounds. Like if they' balls their anyway, so they're like, let's make that a foul. Yeah, they'd be like, that's just that's clean. And they were like, It's our ball, regardless. No, it's a foul. Here we go. Yeah. I remember the pickup games where I got complimented by Black guys and it's still with me today. Sometimes it carries me through the day. Especially if you're going to another game and then they pick you up before last . Yeah before last exactly. Before last. What? I'm the eighth pick. This is crazy. Oh my God . And you're like laughing at the other people. Yeah, you better be over a black guy? Nuts . Yeah. And then Lamar's waiting there like, why not pick up? And you're like, oh, okay. So all right, just to set the table for this , you did two bears with Bart and I and you made a statement and you were elaborating on it. And then as you were telling your thought your theory much better so everyone and I remember people being like, I wanted to hear what you were gonna say. That is how I live. And the craziest thing is he could have just told his thing after the science hold it for a minute. Like, hey, when you were saying that reminded me of a guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But your statement was having a health like a big it comes off as toxic masculinity. Yeah, of like I got a build this tiny dick idiot you know I'm big dick and it's like this old like get a big truck, get a big dick have whatever. Yes . But I think it's feminist because they're just having it and and hyping that up. Saying a big dick is better is feminist because the reason you would have a big dick just in biology is to put it in a woman right and have her find pleasure from it. Right. And a small dick would give them less pleasure. Less pleasure. Yeah. So all that like, I got a big dick. It's all about I please women better than you do. That's that's also what is the unspoken sentiment, I think, about it is that's why the big dick is intimidating to other gods because the nature of your better. You're going to please these gods more than I can. p Ilease can't bring tribute to them the way you can. So now I'm angry. And now exactly. Yeah. And now I'm insecure and I'm upset about it. I don't like that I won't be able to please them. Let's send all these big dick ones back to Africa. Right. Horse or whatever, wherever they come from. You're right. It's the immediate feeling of I'm inadequate. I'm inadequate Yes. Yeah , yeah. I think it's a very valid theory. But I mean, Burt's interruption was fantastic . Yeah, this is not an interesting talking point, so yeah . That Bruce Bruce story was funny too because you told it to me off and st thenage you finished when we recorded it. That was an internet only version. Yeah . Also fun story was when I was doing the intros and it was like camera and then running around and then I'd quickly take my pants off and just have underwear and then go to the stage and they find on stage and you were like, Hey, this next one, you gotta take your dick completely out. And I was like, Yep, you're upset. That's kind of you sent me off. Did I? Yeah, I think you might've. I think I remember that. I really don't remember that. I did. So I pulled my dick out and there were some extras in the front row and some girl was like, Yeah, I've seen your dick really close . You know what's so funny? I told the Bruce Bruce story and then I had this thing where it was based on my one interaction with him, right? On the plane. On the plane. I tell the story. It's such a funny story. It's one of those things where you know, I loved the story. Yeah . And I told it really, I was actually very proud and I thought it was really unique, funny, you know , the whole thing about like just setting the stage of the scenario, the interaction, the like the way that the woman woman, some who doesn't know him was like, What can I get you? Because we were stuck at the air at the gate and they actually were like, You can get off the plane and come back. We're going to be here. No, he was like, And then a woman walked by and was like, Do you need anything? And he was like, candy. Like he was like, Twix, skittles, shit like that. And I go, who is that? And he goes, I don't know. I was like, You don't know? And just accepting it. Yeah, and she was just doing it for him.. Tribute And then we had this crazy dialogue about Andy Griffith, right? Oh yeah. And so that was kind of like, well, I told the story, and then I had that weird feeling of like , oh, I wonder it involves someone else. I wonder no, I wonder if he would be happy with you? That's what I mean. Yeah, yeah. And I wonder like 'cause we're not like close. I wonder how he'll respond . And I had that like unease of would he be like, Man, fuck you for telling that story, you know ? Like just not knowing . So the only place I had communication with him or like aligned to talk to him was Twitter at the time. So I messaged him and I was like, Hey, you know , I had you remember Yeah, but I met you and I told the story about meeting you and I sent him the link to that. Oh really? Yeah. So he saw it. Well, here's the thing. I got no reply, right? No reply. And then maybe a year or more later , like literally that long, I check one day and it's like message from Bruce Bruce and I was like, and I opened it and it was all complimentary. He was like, that was hilarious. That was it, I was like, oh my god , he was awesome. He was so nice about it. And yeah, that was just like one of those things where you're like , I know that and then the guy who I tell it about like enjoyed it. We had to pull down a couple stories on this not happening. Really? Because it was like, actually that guy's married now. I shouldn't be saying that. Do you mind? Take it down of course in the podcast we get that all the time like oh shit I should have shared it. There's that thing that people are all guessing about the smartless guys . Smartless? Smartless , you know, it's a very popular podcast hosted by those three Bateman Will Arnett and John Cryer, I think that's the Shepherd? The three Sean Hayes? Sorry, Sean Hayes. Wow, what a fucking you just said Sean Hay andes John Cr.ist Ion don't know who's clearly interchangeable. I just unique group of two people. They're just some guy in sitcoms. Guys, yeah, but they're not famously have talked about people that have come on and they said that a woman after her episode asked them to not air it and they 're down so you're like, Oh, wonder who that is. And then they talk about a famous comedian who was such an asshole. I saw that. That after ten minutes, they just were like, We're done. We're done. So everyone always is like talking about who those two and they try to figure it out. Yeah, yeah. It's like one of those things where you're like, and then you can lead them. You can just like show that clip with a person's name over that. And then they go, oh, so they were definitely talking. I saw them talk about how they had like talked about a com ment section about that where it theorizes everybody, everybody, you know, like they, yeah. I think we've both been mentioned in the possible really. Yeah . Wait, well, I'm not on there. You know, one of the is this the thing? Here this is Will talking I just stopped in the middle she asked us. Oh, okay. Are her episode? A tool at all, which we were like, fuck . Guys, we had to do it, blah, blah, blah 'Cause she was worried because she thought that she was up and coming . Oh, I see. And I won't tell you until we're absolutely cut. Yeah, but we're like, you're good. It turns out we were right . I think you had one other very famous comedian to tell you after who was a fucking rank asshole recently and we cut them off after ten minutes and said thanks so much and ditched it. What's the guess? Yeah. There you almost can't say it out loud. Yeah, I mean, that's been posted a bunch and there's always just hundreds and hundreds of hundreds hundreds of yeah. Well the comment about the woman though is like, you know, he's like, she thought she was up and coming and then he's saying she wasn't shut. I'm like, whatever was she like dirty podcasts or they were like, I don't know. The part of me that goes like, wait, what do you mean? She was like, don't do it because she thought her trajectory plays a role in that. And like those on scanks, Kam Patterson was like watching and they go, Hey, Kam, what's going on? Come on, come on in here. He's like, and I get where he is. He's a first year SNL guy and there's Legion of Gangs. Yeah, yeah. Hey, Kam, you got to get out of here. Oh, you did? Yeah, you gotta, you can't be here until like get Michael Chase permission first, but you shouldn't. You're a first year guy. You should get out of here. Mark. They're going to say some awful things and you're gonna be on camera with it. That was nice to you. Yeah, it's like you're a young kid. So it might be one of those where they're like, I was saying crazy shit. And they were about to be in a Disney movie. Right, right, right. Okay. But also what a weird . But also nowhere. Where golf dude? Well, like where it's weird though, 'cause that show is not legion of gangs. It's right. What was she saying? Yeah, what? That's like a celebrity show. It's strange. It's very strange . What I liked about your overdose story is that you told me off stage a few times. Yeah , and then you'd said it on stage and there was a part that you didn't say. I'll tell you the exact part. And I had to go back on, I'm like, Tom, wait, I'm talking about the show. You forgot some of it. Dude, that was so key too , because essentially the end of the story , the last bit is what I forgot. And you came on stage and you're like, what about? And I was like, Oh yeah. And then there's that moment if you have like if it was like a real comedy central production or Netflix or anything like, well, I'm already off, so it's over. And then you would be so pitch. Right too. This is a me production. Yeah. So it's like and I'll tell you, it's been out forever, but like the story, you know, I tell the whole story about accidentally overdosing, waking up in a coma and and then you know how disappointed and upset my parents were and just like the shame of it and the awfulness of it. And I forget how I ended, but I was just like, and then whatever. It ends. And then you reminded me of when I told you the story that the doctor who actually saved my life, the one who got the tube in me , the breathing tube , visited me a few days later in recovery and I'm still in the hospital and he has the toxicology and he's like , Hey, you know, you tested positive for so many things. Yeah. Like every droids, opioids, stimulants, every and I was like, really, I'm like, how is that possible? He's like, Well, because you got like street drugs and people will just throw anything in there. So he's like, you're like, it's off the charts. And he told me it was lucky to be alive. Lucky to be alive. He goes, there was enough in you to kill a horse, right? And then I go, shit, like, how did I live then? Like, how do I survive? And he's like, Well, you're fat. You're so fast you're bigger than a horse. Yeah. You want to fashion such a good band. Button to the thing. It was and I forgot to take the take the shitting on me part. Yeah, it's like, and it's funny because like you're hearing somebody say like, all this awful shit happened to me. And then when you're like kind of like feeling for them again, another insult happens. Yeah, like which was really funny. It was really funny. Yeah, he was like, you're just and he's like one of the good times to be super fat. It's when you're overdose . One of the favorite topics of course, you know this is murder, right? On this podcast. And in life, I just enjoy it. You know, you know I? like the show s, I like the topic. And I always talk about like, you know, there's less serial killers today. And it's harder even just to get away with a one off murder because there's so many advances in forensics and there's anything about this a lot who wants to commit crimes of necessity like shoplifting. Yeah, I want that. I don't want to pay for it or wait in line. I want it, so I'll steal it. The camera's everywwhhereere.. Every Someone who's like, you know what? Maybe one day I'll murder . And the way you gotta do it is no motive . It's got to be around. A random. Yeah, so they can't chase you back. But this is the thing. The way it's everywhere, dude. Like when you watch these, I watch these shows all the time and it's like, how do we piece it together? It's like they looked at ring cam, ring camera. They see where you're going. They see a vehicle pass down the street go through a whatever, some, you know, toll booth. And it's like that's what, you know, so it's really hard to get away. And then there's fingerprints, there's DNA . So I'm always like, how can you fucking do it? And my theory of mur der yes. My theory is that the best possible way to take somebody out in the open water. Right. Open water. The open water is like, there's no cameras in the open water and you can if you can at least disguise you going out there, that's what is the worst thing. That's what a lot of people do. That's what a lot of them do at they've gone like something happened. And then yeah, oh this is just a story that came up. Is this a new one? This is pretty recent. Police in the Bahamas say they arrested the husband of a missing Michigan woman after she vanished during a boat trip near Elbo K. Authorities say fifty five year old Lettey Hnooker was in a small motorboat Saturday night with her husband . Brian was just going . Brian told them she fell overboard with the keys, which shut off the engine. He said he then paddled to shore and report reported her missing early Sunday. The AP story says Bahamian police arrested the husband in AbaCo. At the time of the report, police had not said whether he had been formally charged. Her family was skeptical of the whole account. Her mother said she wanted more answers . Her daughter told NBC that Linette was an experienced sailor who was unlikely to quote just fall off the boat. The daughter also said the couple had a volatile relationship especially with her. I know why she had the keys. Why did she have the keys? Why did she have the keys? Well, fuck you then. Fuck you. Well, fuck you then I'm not you don't just have the key. The keys are in the ignition. Yeah, you have to make a real effort. Yeah. And why would you do that out there? It's not just like I'm gonna put this in the safe box if you're volatile if you're volatile history is fighting with fucking shoot overboard. I don't give a fuck. Batch off fucking for sure. Once you have the keys in your hand, that's a murder. Yeah. That's not just like I fell. Also a get her. What do you mean? Oh, she fell, dude. Fellow the waves were crazy. It's like a foot and a half doll. I don't even know where to look. Yeah. All these cruise ships, that's like once or twice a year, got to be like, she didn't make it. She didn't make it. It's out to sea. They can't. And we talked to those guys on all those like impractical jokes . There was there's been a murder in the open sea at on cruises where there's a famous one where somebody like a camera catches them falling off the balcony, you know? And they're like, wait, how does she fall? Just like fall off the 'cause in theory you could, you could be like lit and just fall. If there's a camera that kicks it up and you're the pusher Yeah, you have to , if you know a camera picked it up, not you pushing, but just them falling , you have to go, oh my God, my wife fell. Yeah. If there's not a camera , then you go , where's my wife? Is anybody seen her? Yeah . You delay that , but they also told us that the amount of time it takes to stop and turn around with the tides, they're like, they're gone. You got one chance if you see it happen, throw them a life thing colors, but they're pretty much gone. Cruising and the night in the night is over . They said, they said daytime, you got a chance but you have to see them fall in. It's fucking dude. I talked to a charter boat captain one time. Like a yacht captain and all of those like fancy luxury yachts have cameras all over for security purposes, you know? Like just for that. But like to keep track of like where people are and you can be like, oh this person's at this in the galley or you know I mean like you could see everything and he told me that he had a really high level Middle Eastern wealthy guy and as soon as he bored he was like , C youan cover up all the cameras? And they were like, sure . So they had to like put covers on all the cameras 'cause he was like, I don't want. I'm gonna do some stuff. I might be doing some shit on board. Also, can I say, don't sleep on the National Park System? Oh, very few cameras , rocks are way harder than water. Camping is a good . And he used to establish a pattern of like, I do this a lot. I do this. Yeah. That was Scott Peterson's big mistake he dumped his pregnant wife's body in the open water. Yeah . And they were like, wait, how did like how did this happen? He's like, Well, I had a boat and I wanted to take it out. That's the one I remember Scott ish Christmas Eve and I just took the boat out and they were like, huh? Why? He's like, I just had this boat sitting there. I wanted to take it out. He'd never Yeah . Yeah, Brian Lunch. The problem is, then, what about if you just are camping with your wife or boating with your wife and she falls over and drowns? At first, you're like, Oh no, and then you're like there's a lot of people who are not going to believe me. Yeah, what do I do? Yeah, what do I do? Well, yeah, I think you're if it's genuine, like whether it's camping or boating, you're in a genuine panic. If you get back Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I've seen have you ever go to a black dollar rabbit hole? It's been a while. They sell it, dude. Yeah , they sell it until their husband walks into the interrogation room. That they thought was dead. Yeah, and then they're like, they're like , Oh, I was, I hired a cop to kill you, didn't I? Shit. And they still try to sell it. Yeah. Tom, I got something for you. Yeah. I know what the show is. I'm surprised I'm sorry Christina couldn't be here. She's here. She's Jack and Wood. Yeah . Yeah Doing a what's it called? Recreation. What is it when the North Pights of South? Yeah, she's in one of those. Oh, it's Civil War. Civil war reenactment. Yeah, she's north, she's north. And but I brought something in that you both love. You know what Muddy Bucks is? A what? Muddy Bucks? Muddy Bucks? Yeah. Oh Tom buddy . By the way, go check out the end at YMH Studios. com right now. Yeah, please. Guys, could you find that muddy bucks? Okay. Oh , okay . This is okay , Thomas . Oh, that's a dude. Yeah, it's tough. It's fun. You said what he said . You know what I always think about in shit like this? Yeah, just hip mobility. I mean, it's so important as you get older to have like to do like hip mobility. Hip mobility. Yeah, yeah, yeah, 'cause you could pull something there. Yeah. Okay. Do you have one where he's completely submerged? Have you this is a whole genre? Oh, buddy. Yeah, this is this is in Dan Savage's like what? Here's a porn like film festival and this one won. This one he's gonna nut through that mud. Oh, please don't. I don't know about it. Oh, please don't. Is this real? Yeah, buddy. It looks so fake. Oh, he's under. Oh, he's under . How do you find out you like this? Well, you found out right now please don't. Please don't just like your chest with There's one where the guy's completely just dunked in as somebody behind him ooh there that's not bad. Yeah , I mean he's gone Oh that cock wants that ass. How did you find house on its own? The Dance Sabbath porn festival. What is this? He has a porn . He goes to movie theaters and books and he says submit and we'll take him the dirty best ones. His muddy Buck this? a Is name of a film? Like or this is a whole genre? I think it's these guys. Oh, it's these guys. Yeah, and then they do a bunch. I think they're the most successful ones. Oh, he's yeah, they're the leaders in the one I love the most from they look pretty from this year , it was a bunch of people like doing the Sheik of our revolt against the workers and then they all just start fucking. But they're in like worker outfits . They're like the people have the power. You have a favorite genre of porn? Yeah Yeah . , you know what I like? Because I like reality. Yeah . So I like hidden camera , sell it as hidden camera or really do it either way, especially if they're both consenting even better. I didn't know you were taping. Yeah, I'm cool with it. I load it. Yeah , or real that distresses someone . So I know it's real. So like one time I saw one, this is a decent example. It was a chick on a couch getting fucked, another chick on a piano getting fucked and the piano guy finished but didn't finish y and came up behind the couch girl and jizzed in her hair and she was so mad . Yeah. She's like, what the fuck you piece of shit? Gus. I told you in story and it was like, wow, this is not scripted. Yeah, yeah, that was yeah, I liked it. I liked that too. I like that. There's that what do you got? Well, it it's's a in line with what you like because I like it became a popular fake genre. So you have to search for the real version of which is real BTS, real behind the scenes. So what they do is they've behind the scenes became popular. So they do fake behind the scenes. They act like they 've got everything. There's no amateur porn anymore. But it's genuinely older when the camera was actually picking up film ing behind the scenes, but like it wasn't a popular genre yet. And so you would see real and how they would like they would get, they would get like into it before they filmed their scene. That was always hotter because it was real. It wasn't real. It wasn't fake. I tell ya, I went in LA to a porn shoot. We knew a long time ago. Yeah, it's twenty years ago. Oh, wow. There's all these Hollywood hills like kind of housing. Tripoli . It was someone who knew Tripoli for sure, for sure . It was that at Triple or Yoshi. I think it was a guy from Jujutsu who was like, I'm doing it if you want to see one. I'm like, I'm sure you're doing one. He've worked in the in the world. Wow. As a camera man, he wasn't like a porn guy. Yeah, he was a porn star . And it was like the some caretaker of the house was in a room going like, don't dent anything, but they're renting it out for like twenty grand for the day to fuck every where. Yeah . But what was distressing was going to take a pee and seeing the enemas that were in the trash can. Ooh , yeah. So be like, let's clear out for this. How was watching the actual work work . It was interesting more than hot. Yeah. There's so many people. It's like I was in strip clubs. I'm like, unless you go through a private room like this is not hot. Yeah, yeah. This is a fun thing with friends, but like you have to be a creep to get a boner around other dudes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also like that's that's pretty intense to be up close and walk like where you're standing like , you know, video village so it's about where there's twenty five people around f onilm, it's just the two of them. And you were watching just two people? Yeah. It's funny too. You can see like a girl go like let's say you're the camera face to the camera and she's like, oh yeah, oh yeah okay you see them taking direction. Yeah, see them are we good? That's interesting, but not arousing to meet tonight. Not arousing. Yeah. No. 'Cause you were like, this is manufactured. Have you ever seen one ? No, I've never been in person. You know what somebody told me one time reach out. Tom wants it. Someone told me one time that they were in their house and they looked over like out their window and they realized this was in LA. Yeah. That the house next to them would often be re nted for like parties and stuff. And it was one of those eyes wide shop parties where like people were in tuxedos , had masks on, and they were watching sex in the room. And I was like, That's pretty exciting. I think even from their perspective, 'cause they weren't at the party. They were watching the whole thing from their window. Oh, wow. Double voice. Yeah, that's watching people watch sex. That's pretty cool. You voyeur for not for sex, but just in general I don't know. I don't think I like I mean I like that story. I was like, oh, that's pretty cool. I probably would have stared at that for a while. But like if I see people, I don't stop and I wanna see them just do regular stuff with they don't know. On other than Pointetti, it was like two buildings like kind of like this. So if you turned off all the lights, you could just watch them like making dinner someone stay there and wash. I like that too . Here, let me show you a couple things real quick. Okay . Is this hard? I mean, you got to show Christina Moneybox . I will show you guys It's so do this, but like it's so interesting there's a version of life where you're out doing something and you're like, Oh, you know who would like this? On that trip I did. There's a few different people. I'm like, Oh, you know who would like to soccer game game? I'm like, Shen Gillis would love this or seeing some old hieroglyphs or like Joe Rogan would love this. There's videos you watch and I'm like, Hey, what am I in YMH next? Yeah , make a note. Make a note for money bucks. This is a fun one before I show you these. Okay. This is like this meme my saw. Michael Jackson is going to bust in your asshole, right? And he's letting you choose one of his hits to play while he does it. Do you choose Billy Jean Thriller Be, beatat it. it, or man in the mirror . Because I was thinking that man in the mirror makes it so much sadder. I'm looking at it. And you already 're saddened. He's busting your ass. What's the position here? You're bent over. Bent over. Not legs over him. So you're looking at him? No, you're bent over. Okay . I mean , if you're not going to ask questions, you don't know the answers. It's hard to shake man in the mirror 'cause you're like, oh yeah, it's because I don't want this and I get so that song can make you really sad, you know? It's like well it's smoother. You also don't want to get like too heify and have him pick up steam. Yeah , you know, you don't you want him moving slowly, gently Jean is kind of it's kind of nice that it's it's that but it's like is not my lover. So you're like, yeah, not a lover. I guess. I don't in any do way you what think? What would you pick? I don't want to participate in I mean beat it is thematically on point Is it Yeah, but you think Beat it would be it's too much, right? Because I specifically just said Eddie what, position would you have him take you in? Niggy all fucking y'all got me fucked up. You're saying he's like 'cause beat it is it's too it's too fun just beat it you know it's also you're beaten off in my ass so it's I just like I that the most . But now okay, more questions than any you can weigh on this whenever you want. You're getting bent over . Is there a mirror? You can look at 'em? I think so. I think you're in the bathroom is how I pictured it. Okay, then there is is that man in the mirror like and then that's the most on point. It's the most on point, but it makes it so sad , right? But you know what also fucks you up? What if he busts at the end of thriller and then you hear that laugh that, 's that's really sadistic too. That's sadistic if that's the right thing. But I think man of the mirror, if you're looking at reclaims the meaning of that song. Yeah, it's not yourself you're looking at anymore. Right. Looking at the King of Pop and he's looking at your face. And he's like I'm looking at the man in the mirror, a different person. The original meaning was I'm looking at myself. That's right. Yeah . And maybe you look at him and you go, like, maybe stop doing this. op Just st doing it. I see you as a person . Stop doing this to me. Stop. Yeah, cool it. Beat it. Just cool it. Hey, Zola, can you look over if anything's hard or not? Bro actually looked so soft. Niger actually did really look . It didn't really look never been softer. It was a full joke, Zillow Niger looked. Sorry, buddy, I didn't be trying to at least tell me this? No , no, which is the worst which is the worst song. I don't want to know at least that. No , black or white . Doesn't matter if you're black or white? Great answer . Yeah. I mean, it's not in the but it's not in the it's not the list of questions It was a great one. Yeah. Do you remember the time ? Yeah . Huh . Huh . Something to think about . Something to take home with you. All right, all right. Do you think this is horrible or hilarious? What I'm gonna show you? Okay, hold on before you do it. What? You gotta steal yourself sometimes for these . You do? Yeah. Like so in my head, I'm like horrible, horrendous. So like, is this a human going to physically suffer right now? I haven't seen any of them. You have not. I haven't seen any of them. Okay. I watched them with you. I'm hoping Yeah , it's just somebody failing at a spelling bee. It's sometimes they put it together Who's they? The the guys in the booth? Yeah. Oh, we got we got later we' talkre gonna about the fucking end production cards that I let your idiots do for me. Oh boy. Okay , go ahead. Here we go. All right, so they put it together and you haven't seen it . Ooh , look how calm he is His hands just got brushed in the hood. He's so calm . Oh , and he got one. Oh, he's like, please just Oh my god. Open the latch. That happens so fast. He's like, Oh, you gotta open the driver. There's a button. Oh , tumbling here. It's in the trunk. Holy shit. Sure, you dumb idiot, not the trunk. Oh man , that's not . And he's not getting it out. I think all of us have empathy on this one. What's I mean, we've all slammed our finger at work. It's so fucking so terrible. It doesn't seem like your finger would have space for it. God . And that's it was also his crazy ass was like, you're shaking the , you know what I mean? He's shaking that. Bam. Oh , he's composed. He's very composed . Man. He thinks he's like ah alright? But horrible is pretty horrible. Horrible or what? Hilarious . It's not horrible until the lady opens the trunk. That made it really fun. Yeah . That felt like an actual like a comedy movie, right? Like how many times have you in a rental car somewhere? And you go to the gas station, you do that and you're like fucking drunk and you do it again like no hood. Where the fuck is this? Yeah, where's the fucking button for this? All right, how's this one? Oh pause, claw, pause . Okay I like the where these going to go too . So this could go anywhere. I mean, it's a tilted over for the listeners here, for the seven listeners of the show. It's a tilted over kind of forward bus, like a charter bus. It's almost like it's a regular bus, but Bert was sitting in the front seat. It's exactly right. So it's just pushed down the front end is really low. So this could go anywhere from I'll tell you what I think go off the fucking cliff. Can I tell you what I immediately go to? Yeah. I immediately go to the man who's standing on the road and I'm going, you shouldn't be standing there. If he knew he was in a YMH video right now , he would get out of there. He would get out of there because I also see that the tires are turned towards him . Yeah. You know what I mean? That's the first thing that I notice is that there's tires are turned towards him slightly a little bit more and then they were coming at it. You know, a lot of people got on when I left town, I came back and observed a lot of things and a lot of comedians seemed like turned against each other because people got too much into politics and it got like this is terrible. This is awful. But why am I major's been showing awful things for many, many years? Many years. You made your bones on it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we don't . It is crazy how many guys got involved in politics, though. It's so lame. It's so weird. It's so lame. Go vote, but like what? Show people suffering. That's yeah. Let's see how terrible this gets. All right, he's starving another guy. Oh, he's he's in the really bad spot. Buena Barab.ar Oh, that's's worse. That worse. Literally right on it . Okay . He's standing exact fucking cliff. No, no, no, no, no . Oh thank God, that tree . Oh my god , it's such a drop . Stop driving is insane. Who's the driver there? Is there some guy like, hey, move this up for me? Oh my gosh. Hey, I'll walk. You move it up for me. I've never done this before. This was how did they get out there? You could only get out through that big door. You could have lifted I knew it. No one was injured in this bullshit, but extremely terrified. That's what the note says. heard the scream. He was in reverse . But visually , I know. You would be clued off that you're not in reverse. Dude , where would he know? this guy hold on. All right, you're in reverse for sure. You can back up. He's he's just giving it a touch . Okay . You can see that he needs to. Oh, that's why he's turned. He thinks he's in reverse to go like that. Okay, now you're going to want to st runop st stopop, stop,, stop, stop, still . Still stop. Still, stop. It's so long of him not being in reverse . Oh my god. I mean , so close . You think they're laughing like this was fun or was that crisis of terror? You could put those the terror. Yeah. You could put those laughs over like a gentle like, what's the one with the horses? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Merry go around. Merry go around. Yeah. And it would fit. It would fit. There's screams of terror. That was really nuts. His brain short circuited. Short circuit. Yeah. You ever had that where you're like, I was just wasn't thinking right. Very briefly, but yeah, it's usually like a quick thing where you're like, what the fuck just happened? Yeah . That was awful though Crunch . Where's he going? That guy is he fixed? Oh, he's under the no . You didn't even see a guy there. He was fixing the stoplight? Stop light or yeah, or some electrical . Did somebody hit him ? Oh yeah, somebody hit the car? Somebody probably hit the truck that has the truck. The truck didn't move at all . He just fell right out of it. We don't see it. It's it's you gotta drop in. That's why you gotta drop in. That was pretty rough. First, that guy has a piece of shit that was recording. Like how did he hide? How did why did he hide it as soon as it happened? Yeah, yeah, he hit it. Bad camera man for sure. Yeah. What an assault. Also, was he in on it? From that distance? Why would you be recording a guy just fixing a stop light? Let's see . He's pretty far away from me . Crunch, he says. He says crunch before it happens . Crunch . Does he something's about to hit that? Maybe he does. Crunch. He does say crunch. Yeah. The truck he was working on was hit by a car. He was okay and only suffered minor injuries surprisingly. What? Yeah. So you fell from two feet in the air, that's your vertical and broke everything . Yeah. And that guy fell from a cherry picker. That's like two basketball feet high. Yeah. He had a helmet. I should have worn a helmet. I should wear a helmet. You are fine. Are you recovering from that completely or are you still in pain? No, no, okay. I'm good, man. Oh no, no, get out of there. Oh, no, no, no . Look, we go What she's screaming about is something maybe or she got in fear . I think maybe she was she didn't get hit, but I think in trying to dip away she got that scream was my my leg is off. That's that kind of scream but she broke her leg . Okay . But the driver was okay due to the roll cage. Here, see it again . Yeah, she lost her footing trying to get out of the way right there. Oh , I didn't see it here . God, damn holy shit. Here we go again. Whoa, look at the leg on the woman, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine. Right there. Oh , it's ninety degrees Wow. Oh fuck. Now let's put that scream over a Ferris will and see if that carry is the same . Wow, that is and the weird thing is, blessed you. Kind of unrelated to the to the car. I mean, it was caused by it, but it wasn't like Yeah, if there was like , you know what I mean? If there was free tacos and she was running, she would have done that too. She would have done that too. Yeah. And she was, it was just that little movement that she made. Not in shape. Yeah. That one's closer to your basketball. It totally is. That's what happens . That's what happens. Also, yeah, weird. My thought didn't at all go to the car flipping. When I first it was like , who's he going to murder on this roll? Yeah, yep. But the roll cage did it . God so it was kind of horrible and then it got hilarious. And I would argue that the scream was really funny. The scream because oh, I forgot we were playing. I thought that the scream was less about the pain than the moment she sees it. She sees it. Yeah, she sees it. And she's like, that's not right. That's not right. My foot never points that . I've seen my foot so many times. It's always done that . Did I had a no? Oh no, no, no, no, no. Oh, dude, I can't take these thighs ones. That's the last one. That's the last one. Jesus, Christ. I was at the John Jones fight where he broke where he not the John Jones. Andersila. Where he broke? Where he just snapped it and I was close and it was like it didn't make sense. I was at the counter one. Really? Yeah. It looks like a sock you fill up with like a bunch of marbles. And when they go to step too. Yeah, and they don't know it yet. They step and like, oh, that's you know, I saw it because I was close . I saw it before the reaction, you know, where I I see it step and I'm like, Oh no. And then all of a sudden like it's like one, two, three, you see everyone . Like yeah, it was horrible . What a terrible of also. Yeah, yeah, he's doing a high dive job. Yeah, he's like he's about to jump and I guess it looks like there's slot slots in there? Slots? What is it? What's the word I'm looking for? Slots it's poorly designed. It's poorly designed. That's crazy. You're about to jump off that. Is that a knot in Yeah, they need a board on that. They don't have a board. The board's off and he goes, fuck the safety rules, I'll do it anyway. When right through it . Okay, but here's the problem. What? So high dives is generally a judge sport. Yeah. What's the score? Hm , I'd say pretty poor. It's poor for execution. Didn't get no splash though? No splash? No splash. That's one of the keys you're looking for. Original. Original . Yeah. No one's done this kind of die before. Creative . Yeah . So six, three . New moment . Do you have a mic that's here just when you have a fart to fart into him? Was that Christina going? Don't fart into my fucking mic and no she's like, please have a mic. I have a spare mic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's got a mic al fartart. mic, yeah. She loves it. If you gave an autistic child a billion dollars , they would build the YMH studios . Yeah. And crazy, it's crazy. It's crazy . Did you see the now mega viral clip of Ray J on Cam Newton's Show? No . You got this few weeks ago. Ray J is the one who fucked the Kardashian. That's right. Who center famous? Yeah, yeah, who was built to please , as you like to say. Yeah , yeah. And right. Cam, you know Cam, former NFL All Pro quarterback. Panther great. Yeah, great quarterback. So I just love it when a woman weighs in on sports . Remember that one? Because I just think it's funny when people like what? It was not, I mean, just like you'd never dude. Oh yeah, that was hot. There was also the moment. I love the from the in game mic is on and he's like standing behind the line of scrimmage and the linebackers says like screen screen screen or something like that. And Cams goes, Oh, you've been watching film, huh? Watch this and then takes the snap from the shock information and throws a touchdown. Launches one downfield. No, it's like, it's like close to the end zone. Oh, but like he's like, You've been watching film, huh? Watch this. And then he just throws a wide. It's awesome. It's my face. He's also watching film and he knows one weakness. He's like, No, you got my play picked up, but you don't tighten it to go out and you don't know. It's awesome . Wow, it might be this one right here. Here it is. That's cool. Watch this. He's having fun . Yeah. Yeah, it's like a kid . How dare you get that? That's cool . It's so cool, dude. It's a wheel route, wow. To be in the NFL and he's laughing at.'s like, the time yeah, Yeah he',s he still just playing a game. Yeah, so cool. Wow. So anyway, he has okay, so he has a he has a podcast now. Yeah, yeah. A lot of podcasts. A lot of them. This one's great. He's great. And this is this interaction is amazing. I like a we'll play it in a second, but I like this, like a former rapper or former athlete podcast 'cause like, I'm done. Yeah, I'll say anything. Yeah, 'cause you can't take anything away from me. This is all just bonus. All the smoke, that's one of the best ones, dude. What's all the smoke? That's that Fitty Cent? No, no , Matt Barnes and Steven Jackson Sax, right? Matt Barrange was one of the few threats of violence I got after that Kobe tweet that I was like, No, it's fair. You knew him. Oh yeah, yeah. That one's fair. Their show is great, dude. Interesting. It's great . They just have all and they're just like, I'm done playing. This is like fun bonus thing. I don't care. If I say something wrong and you take it all away , they don't care. It's all fucked. Yeah, and they have great conversations with like wow. So they have had so many good episodes. Okay, let me see Kim and R ayja. Okay, here you go. They got changed record for the k . Wait , what? What a way to come into this? I know . You asked me that last time and I just because it's not okay. Last time wasn't this time , but when you say I'm gonna knock you out and put you in my bed , that's that means I was going to sleep in and then put him in the bed with me . Yeah. That's right. That's the gay thing. Every suspect choice of words, Brother. By the way, they're both dressed so gay . Yeah, they're both dressed not just gay, they're both dressed gay to impress. Well, Kam is famous for his fashion, you know, you know, like he always has had like pretty bunny out fast. Sure, absolutely. Yeah, yeah. But if you put this guy at fucking Mickey's on West on Santa Monica Boulevard in West Hollywood , you wouldn't go . That's an athlete . Right. You just go, that's some guy at Mickey's . Okay . I don't either way. So I listen to like that two bro. So I listen to like Diggie Smalls. Do you like Diggie ? not gonna get giving you an there's something . Can you answer yes or no and then go into that? That side was great Charlotte to the agency. Yes . Where does it matter if I'm gay or not? It doesn't matter. I'm just asking a question. This part s, I mean, okay , so people like when they leave here , we're all together . When you leave and it's done and there's a wrap for the day , everybody's going to do something . Everybody's going to go to their prospective places. Some people are going to go home and I hate to say this, but it's just gonna be grimy, but September drunk you got to hear this, Holly . So people are gonna go . They got a dog . The favorite dog. They stop by the store, grab some peanut butter . Right? Yeah . Go home, excited to see their dog . They put a bunch of peanut butter on their feet so the dog can click it off. Some people even go further to watch TV on all fours , slab a little bit of peanut butter in the crack and enjoy theirself. And the dog is having a good time, right? I don't know what that is. It's none of my business. It's not my business . Have you ever did that ? Have I ever had a dog lick my ass and peanut butter in it? No. Okay. But I'm familiar with it. Also So Willie Ray. I'm familiar with it because I caught somebody doing it. Willie Ray. What? How many of her names, but it was a lot. Willie Ray. Yes. How old are you? I'm forty five. You're forty five years old . In forty five years of living, have you ever been with a man ? I mean, it's no. Do you have none? You have not is now you're going into No I'm not. I'm just trying to confirm Yeah, but I don't want to hear the it was a long pause to say no. Yeah. Four pause and I'm the only straight person on the board , but again , I have friends, shout out to Tarot, shout out to Dumpen Dee, shout out to Backshot, Shout out to Bussy Baby. Shout out to Bussy and Business Supports the Gagency and all the the what's agency? I don't know. It's not an agency, it's a gagency. Yeah. Oh, thank you could answer. All things LGBTQ plus I A plus. I'm sorry It's just 'cause I was already going in and then you looked up and I plus I but it's I plus. Okay . Is that what I'm talking about any of this? Are you fuck it? Are you a homemaker? I don't have to ask this, but it's fair. Are you gay? No, sir. Okay . Look how much quicker that answer was. And I've never experienced nobody getting licked butter either. No, I'm just that was yeah, but that's of older people. Okay, older people would do that. Would you consider thirty six old? No, I'm thinking like this fifty, fifty five. Good thing I'm thirty six, so yeah. So I'm older than me What? I had that too. He was like But I mean, hold on, he's he's nine years older than so when Ray J was thirty, Kam was not in the NFL net. Right . So why are you shocked that yeah I don't know. You remember him getting drafted and you were already fine dunes at the time. That wow is being like, it's crazy that I'm older than you. It's like, no, it's new. It's like, I'm so young. Yeah. See it keeps young. Not like that. I'm just saying , I feel young . Yeah, again, my apologies for the peanut butter stuff. It just was an analogy. Say less. You're just telling it an experience. It's not mine. Yeah, but you experienced someone. I saw it. Which is still there. The peanut butter was there. Yeah . He holds a cigarette guy . The whole thing was fucking whole thing's pretty one of the best clips I've seen in a w longow for an interview. There's a lot a lot to unpack. First, he's like, are you gay? He's like, do you like biggie smells? It just goes like can you just answer? He's like, you like Biggie? He was talking to Ray J like, like you talked to a drunk heckler. Yeah, who's not taking like, are you got me on that one? They just keep going and eventually like, dude, you're belligerent. We got to get him out of here. Yeah, we can't do too long guys. I've tried. Yeah. No exactly, that's exactly how he is. And then he's like, We're all gonna leave here, right? We're all people. He's like, yeah . Some people love their dog and they're gonna go get peanut butter . And when they get home, that's what they're going to do. Has you ever did that? And he goes, No, but I've seen people. He goes . And that's one where Bert would be like, get sidetracked on the story. Oh my gosh. I'm stayed in the pocket and go, I'll go down that road in a minute. I want this gay answer. So let's stay on point. Look, the part of the brilliance of this clip is honestly Cam not speaking. Play calling. He knew to let him go. And that's like a continuity to learn that I do. Interviewer tactic, right? If somebody is on one like this, you gotta just stay quiet. That's why we got this clip is because he stayed quiet. Wow . That was amazing. Can I point something else out too? Yeah. If you just watch on Mute , Cam Newton didn't put a lot of money in these chairs. They're very rickety . Just from a production standpoint , like get something stronger. You want better chairs? Yeah, press play, watch it shake. You don't have to listen to it. As it moves. Hold on . Look at that. Oh, yeah, I see what you're saying. Cheap, cam, cheap, bro. Rookie of the year. I did not go come on . Okay , all right , fair. Fair. It's a high level. This is shit I would do with my partner. You're the only guy who watched this probably in the world who's like with some of the chairs . Are you are you guy? Tom , man, if Bert was here, we could have a long talk . Okay , do I have friends ? Can you please just answer the question? Yes or no? I'm setting up an analogy for what I'm talking about. Okay . Do I have friends? Yes, yes. Now a lot of those friends have hats, have baseball caps, have other types of some have cowboy hats. And everyone wears a different cap at different times. And sometimes , sometimes they don't wear any cap at all. They just brush their hair and go out . And I'm not here to judge those people . How old are you? I'm forty seven So whatever cap you have on is your cap for the day and I'm familiar with people who've done it every way . Next question . What? You like hats, right? It's so insane All right , listen , this was a lot of fun. This was a lot of fun. Dude, this is such a fun pod. I'm sorry, Christina couldn't be here today. Yes. Don't forget to buy her lipstick . Can we show one of these production cards that the idiots made? Yeah. Yeah, can we? So my last production card was me actually it was that moment you made it happen. I don't I'm an outsider of Hollywood. So you need a production card. I'm like, I'm not actually that's my old one. It's just me blurred out on stage after you told me take your dick out. Well, I was can't believe that was me. It was you. Really? Oh yeah. And it was a great suggestion. Okay, yeah. But I was like, let's do that. How about a blurred out shot of my cock? I'm sure my first thing was like having my cock and they're like, No . And so what's the other one? So I was going traveling and have my vitals and we had to start finishing these. So I wrote to Nyana and Zolo and the rest of 'em and I was like, guys , if you don't mind the extra work, make me any production card or production cards you want for the end , and I'll just force myself to use those. Okay . So I have not seen them all. I've seen a couple of them. They're rude. The rude, some of them are, I would say, over the line. Okay . Can we come on ? That's the card. So it goes YMH and then goes Eric Abram's card. And where it goes like this, whatever and then that closed . Caitlyn made that one. Who made that one? Kaitlyn. Wow. Raylin, I trusted you . That is slightly offensive. It's the cool thing about making a TV show completely on your own is you're allowed to do whatever you want. You really can. That's hilarious right now. Wow. There's other ones. Some are less offensive. This is me dancing at Carnival. Yeah . Did you go to Carnival? Yeah. Raven. You said it was amazing. It was just the best, just dancing and drinking. Oh, come on . All right . That's pretty much huge They used seven of 'em. Seven episodes. Oh, they switched them out. Okay, let me see another one. These are fucking great, man. I've never regrettable now. That was pretty great. Really getting in there bam . Nice. That's pretty great, dude. If you want to hear a story about that card, episode one of the End with me, Column Terrell and Tom Sagura. Yeah, that's another one where you're like, Are you worried about telling these stories? I'm like, I got to talk to him. Yeah, yeah, he's fun . Okay . I like it . It's from Ubu Trippin'. Yeah. Okay. I like it. Oh boy. Oh , I remember the Jew clam. That's kind of clamor. That reminds me of Jew clam. That first one is nuts. The first one. Yeah. No one stays to the end . No one stays to the end or it are to be in trouble . It's a gold course. That is insane. Who did that one? Caleb Ice Bro. That's amazing. You really have. It's like you've trained a bunch of lions and then released donkeys and go, let's see what they do. Yeah, they kill it all the time, man. These guys are so funny. Oh my god. Get the end. It's at YMH Studios dot com . All the comedians participate. Yeah, we're paying the comments. Yeah. It's not like this doesn't really be done. I don't is this done ever? There's like points for like stars, but like not like this. Not like this. No, it's crazy. We're told all the comics. There was a mixture of comics between people who were like wanted to do the show always and it was never on. Yeah, I got cancelled. I couldn't do it. We've always wanted to. Old timers like you who was like, I love this show. It's funny too when the show got sort of cancelled. Yeah , and then they were like, are you still gonna do it? You and Bert were like, No, no. I didn't want to do it already. So he's a favorite for Ari es out. What are you talking about? Talking about no way. But but yeah, and it was like all these guys are doing like let's put up the money with everybody. It's a very good idea. It's very cool. The show is great. Thank you. And I think for helping it happen and all these guys absolutely thank you. Yeah. They killed it. And don't forget, check out Chicabomba. What? Chicrabomba. Oh, that's it. The bakery. Chicabomba. What is little fat ass we call it little fat? Chica Bomba. Okay. Yeah, check out the bakery. I'm going today . Please. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. So today is like a soft launch like a little bit of the past. Yeah . So and it's okay either way, but I just want to know like is today like free bies or is like a pay thing? Ah, fuck, man. It's free . Hey, cancel that order from the burrito place . You can eat eat your heart out. Well, buddy, I'm gonna eat you poor. Yeah, please do. Now you're gonna rename it Po Ray Sagura. And he say thank you in Hebrew? Todoraba. Todoraba sorry . All right such a Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening. We'll see you next week Are you dude blender, ret ? Oh my God . Are you duode? Blender, gender fluid in your mouth . Are you duode blender, ret urn ret ire? Are you duode? Give me your gender fluid . Are you jude? Flender, retight? Oh my God . Are you jude blender? Gender fluid in your mouth . Are you jude Blender, ret urn ret re tide are you Jewish blender, gender fluid in your mouth . Fresh Florida sweet corn, beneath their golden tassels and bright green husks, lies row upon row of summertime perfection