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Your Mom's House with Christina P. and Tom Segura
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From It's Just Like The Gays! w/ Kurt Metzger | Your Mom's House Ep. 864 — Jun 17, 2026
It's Just Like The Gays! w/ Kurt Metzger | Your Mom's House Ep. 864 — Jun 17, 2026 — starts at 0:00
Here This. Yeah. You know what? Oh no. Okay. How's that? Is that better now? Do you feel prettier? You don't want it messing up your hair. No. I want know. Heres I want. Oh my God, yes. Yes There we go playay batty. Heat up your fourourth of July at the Home Depot with our wide variety of grills under three hundred dollars and make every gathering one to remember. Give your outdoor space a glow up. Whatever your budget is, with savings on seasonal plants starting at five dollars. With the grill fired up and your backyard set to perfection, you'll be able to invite friends and family over to kick off the party Start celebrating with low prices guaranteed at the Home Depot. Prices may vary by storory exisions of pricey Home deepot com sl priceash for details. Mow, me me. Hi, welcome to your momom's house. I'mristina Pee. with me today is Kurt Metzker. Oh my God. Thank you. Star. Thank. The brand new podcast Mystery Boys Duncan Treussell, and it's the number one podcast on Spotify right now. What do mean of all the No, we're not that big. Number one in the entire one trending in the Yeah, that's why this sounds more like it. In the universe and your new episodes are out Thursday, nine PM Eastern APM Central on YMH Studios channel Right Here. Fantastic. On your mom's horse. Where's the cama? On . man I love your energy. You've got like Crazy girl energy. I've got undercover, deep undercover energy. Yeah, it's really good. U sorry, so look, Tom is you know, I don't know where Tom is. Wh with the class is Where the hell is D? I know here, hold on. He did give us geeve. He did giveive us. What's wrong with me? What did he give us? Ged us A field report. Let's see Where the fuck is Tim Sigura. Okay, here we go. Let's Let's let's just play I'll play this and then I'll do the official because I feel like the audience is like, what the fuck? Why are Tom and Tim and Christine doing separate? Are we live? This is where Tom is in case you guys are wondering. hereere we go. So he's in the car, no big deal Do anything and stuff like that It's nice for him to document it. It is. Check in. Oh he's got nice blue eyes most beautiful blue eyes in our Our youngest son has those eyes so pretty. Yeah, I gota that's why I have to get it in a full regalia or else it's like what What am I the other Thomps guys? It looks like you have a bewitch Darren replacement you know. That's so true. I like this idea.cond Darren? I know that's so cheap. We can't do that. Al I wantedill Dunigan we're doing that at home with sized alone. I wanted to play. So on the show, my name was Kirp because Sly didn't he never bothered to learn my name and he thought I was a guy that helped him Cal made this up because he was so nice to me at the mall to build a bear there. I didn't know how to do with a bear And b Yeah and I live in his garage, you know, I was like, you know when a rich guy's got a friend that lives on his propertyes. Yeahah, that's a thing. So he would call me Kirp like and I would go, well, I don't I don't remember that ever happening slide. L it was an ongoing thing. So apparently he thought there was another guy named Kirp that helped him at the mall. So I wanted to have want to get andired come on and give him like make his eyebrows even darker and he's the real kp after all these years It mes like her. So funny. Imagine being that Rich and famous and out of touch that you totally forget who a human is and you re identify them. Have you've done that? Like do real people do that or just rich famous people Like I giveave them a new name instead of their name. Yeah, and then you're like, you have a whole backstory for them. And then I have their name changed legally for them so it's easier for me. Well, duh. 'use when I write it down, I'm not look, you ain't get paid change name but what I wrote down. Yeah. Yeah., that's so great. like just to fuck with people. Yeah. Yeah, well, that's what we're trying to make fun of it. that was I love like like really uh rich famous entourages. Yeah It's so funny watching like a thing of Ever since that again, and I'm not downning this guy for this, like people act like I'm not being accusatory, okay? flatered. Everything's quot. Everyone can do anything they want. When Tim Duncie tried to fuck me that one time I'm tell you? The legendary Forward, Tim Duncan? Who's that? I didn't know either until they fucking stretched that condor like arm across my balls in the green room. He really did? Yeah, so but I don' blame him's handsome though, why don't Yeah He's got like sweet pot. Listen, I don'tist is that why? I don't blame Tim Duncan at all. the man knows what he wants. he's not made of stone. okay. He nothing bad on Tim Duncan Jay and Lewis, when I was telling them were like, I think they were like jealous of me Yeah. because they weren't But anyway, the point is he had he had three friends with them. Yeah. who were just sitting there like it wasn't happening because he's officially not gay. So you so you three guys just sit there and pretend he's not gay every weekend when you hang out That's so cool. What the fuck I'm still creeped out by The three guys just blanking out like g. Yeah, but black people in general They were all black. D don't like gay. So you had a very diverse crew. I gott to give it to No I''s pretty great. I should have taken the offer. You should have taken the offer because you could be my career luxury right now.s myny don't don't people not like gayness in general. Like isn't it frowned upon? They say that, but I don't think let any speak for the entire black community, Kurt go. No. I had no idea there was a black here. I apolog. Yeah. Yeah just one. And no, yeah, I don't think that's official bllack culture as far as I S how old are you Okay, so is that a millennial or a zoomie Zoom. So by now theseese kids don't have u a zoomie. When I was young, I'm forty nine now. so when I was young Yeah, nobody black could be gay openly like that. was Do you tell me that Black people can be gay now Yeah, for years now. Annie, are you sure about that? Pretty positive, I know if you Oh shit. Okaykay. And I mean gay like, listen, all the kids I don't think they give them They're like, you know how you buy a Mac now, airbook or something? It doesn't It no longer has a disk drive. Yeah. That's Gadar. The kids don't come install with Gadar now. You don't need a CD player or Gadar in life So nothing means anything. There's no meaning. My friend from high school I bumped into down who happened to be here in Austinan. He was like telling me his suden told him he's pansexual Yeah, do you know what that means? It means a Well, yes, but I don't think the kids that say that know what it means. It means you're a pan is a I can't believe that's a thing that's acceptable to say. pan that you're just super horny and you fuck Oh fuck. Yes. That's a real nice way of saying a horrific race Pan. The go pan. The God pan. Yes. I know I're familiar. I remember seventh grade. Okay, listen, we have to do the opening. We haven't even done the opening. Okay no, l I don't to inter interf with this.. Okay this is very important stuff. Okaykay, hereere we go H here you go. Oh fuck your bitch H hello I met Cger. the bar this evening She goes, I may be sagging, but I am still gagging No haves Did I dance? I didn't know. I've never done this segment. feel it on the be Okay, I'm in yeir. . They say Rwanda work the balls I cleveran What? Hey you laughing out Cugar this guy Do you do that? Do you feel Like I know a lot of girls who have long hair, they love to mess with it. Do you feel yourself't It doesn't take long To do this kind of thing. Well I do it. ye, it feels good, right? Oh It's like I slip right into it. Yeah. ye. Listen, Kurt, I don't know how familiar you are with your mom's house over the years, but Listen, we got some late breaking news here. We got a crucial update. I mean, look, if you're a fan of your mom's house, you're gonna to be familiar With this couple guys, here we go. Just remember these two, hereere we go. I'm your mom and you're my son and I am falling in love with him. He said, Are you really? I said, Yes, I am. He said, you know what? I was scared to let you know too. I am too. We're both consenting adults. if it comes down to it, you know, it's just like the gays, they're you know as long as they're over eighteen, everything's fine Hold on.. What are you thinkin of that? Curt? You you ever want tona marry your mom? Oh, he lost his virginity of Zimbabwe Well here, here. Let's see what how it I asked him W you ever date your mom? And he said, W you date your son? I said, h's truth, yes, I would. 'cause nineteen years, you're the best thing that ever happened to me and I really want to be with you the rest of my life. Oh my goodness. What? How about this? The first approach was actually me U what happened was we were we were hanging out and, you know, just talking, you know, just laughing and I looked at her and she looked at me and Oh Godd, I kissed her. Here's the realus. Who was ro. On It was realus. Only the daily mail is covering this one. sometimes I call him Hinohito as that means son? Once in why he calls me mom, you know what I mean? They're casing about Whether I have the right to love somebody, I sure as hell have the right to love. What's on the side of his face, a birthmark or a teardrop? Just the ge. Just like the gaze Your mother is doing stand upp in Chicago, Illinois september eighteenth and nineteenth. Get your tickets at Christinapeete. comot Welcome to the Mystery Boys. I'm Kiry Drez White Closmiss, Dunstan Hudeo. We're here to gape your fourth eye FI Atlas. JFK's doctor. Amaz. Hitler's doctor. MK Ultra. Adreina Krum. Elser Krow., you ain't heard the mystery boys gets the bot I didn't see one dick in those catacombs and I looked everywhere. Well, this is the show guys. I hope that your mom's house is happy. There's a lot of noise out there when it comes to hair loss, from the ten in one shampoos, expensive clinic visits, and random advice online. it can be difficult to find what actually works for you. HIMMS makes it simple to take control of hair regrowth and regain your confidence with personalized care Doctor trusted ingredients, like finasteride and mininoxil can stop further hair loss and regrow hair in as little as three to six months. You shouldn't have to go out of your way to feel like yourself. 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Make sure you enter our showname after checkout so they know we sent you helelix sleep dot com slash Yeah, I don't know. It's a tough one How it feel? I mean, this was this clip we found, I God, let's see I know you're judging them right now, a lot of you, but you know what? President of France is married to his own dad who changed sexes. I think so. You think Bruge Macron is a dude. A hundred percent. one hundred percent, too. Thankk you. And I know you're into these conspiracy theories. so did you see her sit down Of course, babe. And I like Dave Spade. Of course. And I've seen the size of her hooves. herer feet are huge. and I read the book Becoming Brigit I've read I've done You've seen the hoof full hooves. Yeah. She's gnarly. But back to this. So here here here's the story you guys. Back in twenty sixteen, Monica Mayers, who was then thirty six biological son, Caleb Pder She got stuck in a window and he didn't instead of helping her So he was she was thirty six, he was nineteen, were charged with incest in New Mexico. The two had been reunited after Mors gave him up at birth and they began a romantic relationship pleaded no contest and received three years probation with a no contact order ending the relationship. It's more of an old Mexico thing, isn't Do you believe that the court broke them up? I didn't realize that. Do they even have the power to do that They did, no contact order ending the relationship. I don't know the courts could do that, but How sad because they seem they seem so into it If only I could find a love' pure, you know? You know, you know what's okay, Well, the thing itself's a little bit creepy. I What? little What's creepy? Who' better to love you than your mom? Because they're Mexicans. Okay. Now this thing that's a lot creepy What does that have to do? It's fine,ate. I'm just being a silly goose but a silly goose. Why are you? We'd love to talk like first of all, surely you know there's laws And you and your mom, if you're really serious about this and want to make it work. Yeah. You know, Macron and his dad wife, now let me just tell you how successful people do this. They don't they don't tell people. That's right. You They hide out and they kill people that find the truth and sue them. So this is why, you know, I'm did he get that tattoo that tattoo or a birthmark? L are they such I think prison folk that he was born with a birthmark looks like a teard drop tattoo? I think they might be prison folk because she looks like a little rough too Look, if your mama has face tattoos Cant you fucker. Of course, who better to fuck? Okay, so here's the deal. We made fun of these two a million years ago Here's the update. We didn't know preregnant? No. Here's the update. Monica's life since then. Her situation has deteriorated Significantly over the past decade. What? Why? She was just fell in love. Crazy. She briefly married another man in twenty sixteen, cheating on her son, but it didn't last In twenty twenty, she was arrested for accidentally starting a fire while reportedly under the influence of methamphetamine as one does, Though charges were dropped after she was deemed unfit for trial Id say she' unfit to be a mother as well She is now reportedly homeless, severely underweight, under hundred pounds. Oh dear. Oh Well, she lost weight. That's good I's gonna to say, 'cause she seemed heavy in twenty. A jungy, you know recent mug shots Mug shots showing a stark physical decline. Do we have her mug shot? Oh, here it is. Ohh my God. arere you ready to see her now you guys So back that Oh far Bro. Holy shit. And why did she Becauseuse she didn't get to marry her son All because the courts kept transition into a f What does that hair do? It's like, you just shave lines in your head I think she looks good finner, but that's me. I mean,isten' hateful. Honestly, this wig that I have would look great on her. I know Caleb's life, the son He moved to Colorado, worked as a handyman and was in a relationship hand job man, you mean? He gives hand jobs. He's homeless as well. And was in a relationship as recently as twenty twenty four. However, he's had repeated run ins with the law DUIs, probation violations and driving offenses Most recently, he was arrested in twenty twenty six on trespassing and criminal mischief charges and is being held on a five million dollars bond. Wait, how is that even possible? We got it How mischievous of him This is really crazy. Where was he trespassing? Well, I wonder why What mischief he was getting into M's mother says Caleb made the first move as we saw in that clip that she warned her daughter against the relationship or the family perspective, sorry Mary's mother said Caleb made the first move, that she warned her daughter against the relationship and considers the whole situation a tragedy, knowing that M' never knew Her son growing up before he reappeared as an adult I mean, but think about it, Kurt, likeike let's say you gave up your daughter for adoption And she comes back nineteen. That's peak hotghtiness You didn't know her. You didn't know her. Um I don't know. Well, look, maybe it's just maybe my family is not sexually attractive to me You know what he you can do I just remember my cousin getting married and it's a great wedding is in Hawi He's so funny. And so my cousin, and I remember being like, I've never because I've always heard of people having this and never in my life have I ever had a feeling that about a sister or cousin, you know, like a relative. Do you want to know a secret I Frenched my second cousin, my Frenchilleg. Hungarian cousin in Hungary when summer of nineteen ninety I'm try to think of a Hungary be kidding me, but I don't have my fun friend. but did. That second cousins you can get married to. They don't give a shit. do you think so? But the laws against first cousin, I thought Let's look into that. So Apripo earlier discussion of Brigitte Macron and his her son Did you know, but that's not uncommon. The Rothschild family All these families would marry. You know why? The relatives to keep the wealthf. Right, but also their blood is so important. Now I don't believe Why is their blood important? Oh my God, they trace their lineage back to goofy shit that sounds stupid that I don't believe, but they believe in what Atlantis and you know shut. That's not sure you think so. Well it's not true that they're from Atlantas or that they say it. I know these people say this shit. I don't I got my deoubts Yeah. but Yeah, they you know I always want to ask I was d to Danny Jones on a Monday and uh You know, he'll have like scientists and shit on like the and I just met Eric Weinstein with Duncan. We're going to have a great My mystery boys mystery feel anyway These people when ask like, okay, I get you're all like secular rational materialist, blah, blah blah. All the people that fund you existing think they came from Atlantis. Yeah. All the people there are way more important than you and your fucking science that you act like your academic shit is so important, you'll flip on a dime where the funding tells you to go. Yeah. In fact, that's what you all complain about and I agree that's why All the science is whatever some rich guy fucking tells you it is nerd and you know it. So do you not think it? No, they don't think about that because if you I don't know if you what your education is mine's on Wh iss not great I went to some the coveted some college demographic I went to Art School Art Institute of Philadelphia. Oh, it's good. I never paid the loan back and then It turns out I never have to ' one of them scam schools that where you're forgiven. You know,? It's like a DeVris. Oh, I missed I should have gone to DeVris. I know. prractical. I paid some of it back before that I think it was Biden of all people at passast that. You remember the Debbie Dutson schoolchool of driving Yeah, but not because I went to it because I heard of it and it sounded funny. R right? What is it Deby Dutes and Sky in here, of course. taught how to be a truck driver Google the Debbie Dutson School of Dving. And it was there play the commercial. It was like, I went to Debbie Duteson and it was so they don't make commercials that way anymore. Yeah Anyway F me the W. I went to Andrew Tate University. He does have, doesn't he have a university? A not mystery boys, we got into it onn't one of them What's up what's he up to now undertake less I heard you know, just winning being a fucking j. amazing, you know? He's the best. All right is Alf everything he does. Alf broke I he it is that Debie Dudes in school driving. . Where was this? My names Doug Cash. He turned out to drive the bigig rigs at Dutson' School of Trucking. I ear fifteen hundred dollars a first week and fifty thousand dollars a year. If you want to make big money, call now Area code eight one n four four five, twenty four hundred or two one three. I do remember two.ion was ear. This is LA. Dutson driving schools are the best Ask me, I'm Deb Don. What teaching truck driver. Have you ever seen a female truck driver in your life? Ask me. Yeah, she's not She's too cute. They're probably No, she's too cute to be a lot lizard.. What is this? She ain't driving trucks. Well maybe they have she just runs the school. Yeah, becausecause they don't look like that, dude I can weigh Wait, so what's your favorite conspiracy theory right now? Like what? Oh, well, okay so you mean Well the I mean, favorite Here's ones that I like them. Yeah, like what H's ones where I like it, but this is not the ones that are like, you know going on now in front of your face are like like is not not a good one but I like the idea of the seecret Starbucks a lot. What's that? You know, the The actors, the actor bond under LA and they can go to the underground highway and they have access to it. Oh that's how Oprah moled people allegedly, right? Like isn't that how I didn't know that about Oprah, but I mean, she is a huge piece of shit. I think anyone can see that. I don't know why Do you think she is a huge piece of shit Yeah Why? Wh is that? I think she's a goddamn human traff. First of all, Joh of God, Motherfucker, she's Yeah., she's pushed so many filthy human traffickers on a stinking show and like sorcerers sorce or demons. Yeah, and they're all creeps and the fucking secret bitge, you mean thecult. That's what that means. Theccult means the secret Ocult means hidden So the secretight That's the ocult for moms Oh yeah, that's true. She did Yeahah, she did kind of lead like a cult. moms into weird awakening. And where the fuck is Steedman? Aint nobody's seen Steedman for like eight years. And like, why won'tat him? Why won't they get married Like why was Be probably his corpse in a weird underground ceremony because where is That guy is dead. I had never seen youve seen Steadman lately I haven't seen him. Nobody cares to ask. Where is he? I don't even want him to to be honest. But the theory, my theory, I mean, not my theory but I think Allegedly, the theory was She and Gle were an item And that Steedman is the beard. Yeah. That' And I thought that u You know, and the amazing spaceship that Dick Rocketay went on, they were gay. So I that was most terrible We're doing this for women to take out space. They took a space way now None of them were driving, so it was safe to worry. So fucking I hate that fake women empowerment. whyy don't you guys just It's just bourgeois like fucking D't society, donon't worry about taking fucking res Well you know The thing where like It's like degrading to be a mother of kids. I'm not into like, I'm not like trad or some shit Which I think just means you're like a gay racist trad Right? I think that's what that means is I'm a gay racist. When some young kid says I'm down. Im like, I'm a gay guy I like shaving the sides of my hair. And I'm into skinny fashy looking dudes. Yeah. And it's like a weird sex thing. like I said, they don't have Gadar no moreore. I don't know Now there's a conspiracy. But there's a bunch of TikToks. I've been finding where there's gay guys struggling their faith and they're like, Well why don't you fucking pick one mother fuckking? I mean, you know, u Like It's just like always like, I don't want to lose any advantage I could have. so I don't want to be honest. So In this day and age, if you're just not to think now, if you're a stinking PDF file, yeah,ah you better hide that. PDF file. Yeah, I'm helping your algorithm There it is right there anotherother white chariot rolled up This time of year always brings up memories of when summer felt much simpler and sweeter Whether that makes you think of days spent on a lake or setting off fireworks and risking the loss of limbs with your friends on the fourth of July, those iconic moments call for an iconic drink. And that drink is America's own Mountain Dw. 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And Cigars International now offers free shipping every day, no minimums, no excuses Use my code YMH at checkout for twenty percent off your order of fifty dollars or more Visit WWW d. cigars interternational dot com slash ymh and the discount will automatically apply. Some exclusions may apply. Speaking of PDFs, the Michael Jackson thing came out. now my kids are suddenly into Michael Jackson because apparently they've been showing the clips on the YouTubes and all that. Do you remember seeing my so if you're around the same age as me When I was in first grade, is that's when that driller h did a moonwalkes When I said I never forget now I was a Jil Jehvi Witness case. so we you were? Yeah. so Yeah, so I never had like movie idols or rock and roll idols like that. You know, 'cause it's just like kind of f but anyway I remem so we're all six, but I remember kids, boys and girls, like They went nuts for him the way Checks did for the Beatles. Yeah It was like sexual. I mean, it wasn't sexual, but it was. like you I not's so true I was too young to understand that when I watched it, but that obsession is like That is so true. Yeah. You know why? Okaykay, it's the same reason those K pop are popular with tweens and young. It's because theyre they're little Like him at that thriller stage He was like a sweet little twelve year old boy. Well, no, he was an adult, but he had a voice of a twelve year old boy, probablyight. gettinget kicked in his balls or whatever. Yeah It's crazy. So wait, what is the movie that's out now? It's a documentary about his life that the family did Michael. So it's none of the uncomfortable part. Right. So it stops right at the most interesting part where he starts taking Emmanuel Lewis to the Grammyyss as his date and shit like that. ' crazy.ember that? Remember that? Emmanuel Lewis was his fucking date to the Grammys bro and nobody the eighties was like, that's weird Hey, that's odd. Yeah were in the eighties, they had this st. It was McCully Coking this weekend. What was that eighty sh of like having a black midget with you Remember that? Well, because black midgets were all the rage. There was like they came in styles. Yeah. because different strokes Dairy What's his fucking not Gary Colman C Gary Coleman. Gary Coleman was hot Becauseuse he was like a twenty year old playing a five year old or something because he had It was like this thing of where you have a child actor that will stay cute for longer than a regular child actor And like now looking back, I'm like, what do you there's a show called It was like a Malcolm in the Middle knockoff and the kid on that show clelearly had a kidney problem Yeah, yeah like a young Odie kidy problem we use this kid for years. It's really fucking gross dude Do you remember the show Life Goes on? Mhm. Okay, Jee, this was like so vintage ventage fucking classic eighties. They hired A Down syndrome actor to play the Cky W Cork and they named him Corky. which it was like really, that's a little on the nose. Cid we name Stehven? I think that's a generation because I remember my dad had a friend named Corny in Ohio for Cornelia's. H name was Corny And like there's probably a lot there's still, you know, some people called gay back then. But what's corirky short for Corcelius? I think it' sh for Cgius if I'm not mistaken. Fuck, speaking of Before we get into this, I've got to announce greatest thing ever. I'm going to the UK this summer. I will be doing one show in London, july twenty second at the Leicester Square. The buuy tickets right now, right now, Leicester Square Theater, july twenty second in London, onene night only I'm so fucking pump. Right me. All right Yeah. I love playing. I haven't played in England in long. Oh, they're so good. They're so fun. I was doing a black comedy circuit tour. Yeah, when Just now twenty eleven. Yeah, I've done those. That's like when you first start headlining Theyll you just do anything. Steinberg Tent mananagement what it was. but it was a fun trip. Which clubs did you do? Do you remember? What was your top? It was a tour. The guy that ran the t Th those dudes ran the tour. I loved them I miss those guys this day. It was One dude was n nameamed Sammy, the other dude was RDJ was the productions and the guy was the ex Jehovy too So I got so I kind of got along with them immediately, you know? Ext Jehovi to the Io. Okay, are you ready. So this is interesting As I am into Michael Jackson We just found this clip. M And um He called him a fan blackir. Who can't Who calls me what? Well, and secondly, where are you saying that at a press conference? Like what? Well, is he talking about some Jew? Remember how he would be like slightly like contractual dispute anti Semitic? L whatever is you could tell he's having issues with his management in the song I know No Yeah Mel are whats? Its just like I like I thought there was recording him with like a deep voice too somewhere where he dropped I've heard of that. Can we Anverybody else know what I'm talking about I feel like Michael, was I was really into him until he started putting tape on his fingers and saying he was bad and starting to beat people like that whole time ause I didn't like when he became violent either. Yeah he wass like, what did he do? You're not bad. I didn't like his gangster rap phase. Yeah. And you know, but I like that he worore glove to keep his boy hand soft That was the This is my boy hand. Nothing suspicious about a guy with a one glove. So here the reason he said that, Michael Jackson, he says he's saying that Tommy Matola Oh called L. Sharppton a fat black Oh boy, this is a tough one a fat black noope during a protest. Fat black ninja is how you would say it. or a fat black fella is how I like to say it You go I'm a fat black fella. Okay, okay, so this makes sense. I was like, why would he say that just at like a press tour for him and Ty Modola is a well known piece of share. they all areren't they all in the music business? I mean. Michael, you sweet You sweet peterest Tommy Mat Al Sharpon is one have you seen Al Sharpton lately by the way on morning Joe It looks like a mummified corpse that they bring Like a site ye.e. Okay, but this was a press conference discussing a protest Tommy Mat. This's where Michael's fucking retard 'cause he's like, o, remember he' go David Ble, your magic is real. rememember that shit Here's here's why I don't like Michael Jackson. I'll tell you because I was watching him do these pres. He has a horrific skull face. Well, that too. But I did see pictures of him with the Vitiligo now that's out so that maybe he did have to have skin treatments. Okaykay, fine But he's like, I'm gonna to sing all the songs that my fans love because the world is so the world needs me to have the world and the precious and the love and Mother Thesa and all that and like meanwhile Meanwhile shit is going on behind closed doors, right? They're always like that the people And these of the nicer ones by the way. My favorite is off all the because once you go up high enough, guess what everybody has to do is that shit. And so He probably is one of like the nicer ones about that dark shit, but Within all these little secret so I personally don't You know, what's his name I've been doing a joke about it gu. I think that Rob Bryan's kids are a real spoiled brrat The' liberal parenting. Anthing goes. But these photos of them kissing him kissing him on the lip. saw that. And then Carl R Reiner's kissing him on the mouth now I've been told that's an old Lithuanian Jewish tradition, but no. I don't think they're just really observant. I think that's hard to believe. First of Europeans are homophobic as shit They're not going to be kissing on the lips. No why It just doesn't. it's like Bill Cosy. Oh, everybody was getting high and fucking. Yeah, right. But he was doing a little bit worse this motherfucker. That's how he suck in while everybody else is loose That's he sneakaking into your creepy shit, you know But Michael you can find it somewhere and I can't remember where, but his dad's old bandmates talked about because I've already heard this. in fact, my friend Emma's podcast, which I recommend Eespecially if you want to know about MK Monoric victims, which plays into all this Like, did he got used as a living altar by his mom Oh, those that beautiful couple we sa saw at the beginning If you watch the Netflix Didy documentary I took it that strongly imply that his mom thought he was gay and tried to straighten him out with her own posey I took that also She's engageding Caribbean kind of spirit witchcraft. So that means all these scumbags And this's like in the ghetto, people are doing fucking black magic in the ghetto. I mean, you imagine what they're up to. Well, a living altar, donon't look it up. You don't want to be used as that And he apparently This was one of Bob Marley's kids that Diddy had apparently confided this in her. But all these people are doing it. they're doing, you know, that's the trile. Yeah, you I've seen that. The triangle of manifestation or a moodra if you want to be. Oh wow. It's a lot of syncretism in theosophy Well, Alsa Crowley shit, That's JayZ I believe that they're all into that. him He says it and the wife And what thou willil What is that? That's from fucking Th. the thing Do with that well, Chump be the whole of the law There they go. I love underwill. That doesn't sound like So where's the kid diddling? Where do you guys fall? not though? I'm not hearing what I would like to hear and they're like donon't do that Yeah, you know Also don't eat them Don't eat them I know I'm I probably sound like I'm having a little bit of a purity spiral, but I know I've I tend to let best be the enemy of good and I realize that But I feel like It's a big no on our canannibals. Oh, I know. It's real. It's Oh, TikTk ship. Now they're telling you alien shit after that. Is that a little anticlimagic? I know I mean, look, the internet just made it all available to us now. We can just see the horror shows. I've seen filesbody So you either gonna not look into it, which is like most people are know But just say no. They're cannibal pals and there's a long history of it. and it's been coming out for years, but nobody listens anybody that's a victim of it because they go, you', oh, you're crazy does sound crazy actually. That's why they do it so over the top So no one will ever believe you. W you dreaming? We on a drug? Yeah, all that and You know, someone it's like the worst version of Disney World you can imagine. Same costumes, but inverted version. You know what I mean? Yes yes. And so That's that's how you control people. nine eleven is a trauma mind. Hold on, hold on, before we get into that, listen, there's got to be a way We can elect the right people. No there's no How would you do that? Because hold on I found the right guy. All right, hold on. I'll hear you out at least. Here we go Governor. I'm at the YMCA just leaving now It's still likeh gosh, at least eighty five degrees here in Minneapolis. Oh thank God eighty five.'s going to go home relax, get ready for the little Zacax interview, hopefully you'll be respectful Zach X? Who's that It's like Malcolm X is's not He's white isn't he But anyway, this guy look Do you want to vote this guy, hold on. He's running for governor. Oh there's more to his argument. Thomas Evanstead is a middle aged man He's mentally ill, yeah, okay. but he's running for governor of Minnesota.. His slogan is Make Minnesota, comma, Minnesota again And he's also Christian, great He posts videos of him himself smoking out of a bong frequently and makes other videos of himself around Minneaple tits. Well, let's look at his Instagram because the daily bread. Here's the thing. The devil you know is better than the one that pretends to be normal. It just depends, man. Like I'd rather have U Let's see what's the? Oh, there's Mike Pillow. Now I'd vote Mike Pillow. You know my pillows? I don't, I don't. You' got that super pillow that makes you so comfortable when he's crack. Oh, I love that. So why why is he posting these guys? This is o God who Wha, who's this out of costume drag, the black guy That's Mike Pillow, Yeah. who's that? What does it say, guys? I can't read because Oh wa, I've got my other It says Minnesota, Governor Race, oh, what a wrap Oh I haven't understood one part of this. Starting with his his f Faceetime there, I don't understand a single part of this campaign. Nice will play, political violence, fill your city. Okay, but I want to see Is there stuff for him running for Yeah I want to hear his arguments This the straight castr right. It's a great song I don't want to hear that. I can tell you. Okay let's see him with the bong. I have feeling we're gonna to hear some Gems Here he's doing a big bong rip. I got our miracle They me that we had guys goovernor that we're doing worse than this. I feel like Remember that guy that ran Toronto? Wasn't he smoking crack to this last time I cared about ten That's why I'm bitter c up instead coming at you the day here I got a real sunny day here. so I got to kind of keep my eyes closed from this heat. Good intense son. or you could wear sun. I just wanted to make aampaign. Things are not looking good What? You just start out It's a sunny day. Amyon. Yeah. P playay this again because it me and prevent me from getting on of the convention floor. O Friday after I went down to Rochester to challenge Amy face to face, to get a microphone finally for the state. And they wouldn't let me in So I've reached out to over one hundred and fifty people in our state on both sides of the aisle for a liieutenant governor. Oh good. Keep working And nobody will stand up with me. Is he crying? So tomorrow, the deadline is five and it looks like it's gonna come and go. Oh I met with the governor candidate today, but that person wont relinquish the governor title and I'm not here to debate Ben Schreer. I've been there. here to debate Amy Clchar. let my d die Hey everybody it'son. Amy Klomichar. The last time someone cried like that, the last time somebody cried like that related Amy Klobichar, they were an employee of Amy Klobuchar. That's that bitch she easts a salad with a comb because you didn't bring her a fork. She Look, Youre gonna watch your eatater salad She's a dumb bitch, but this guy he maybe he started out like his eighty five sunhine. This is the weirst day had. It took a drastic turn. Maybe the sun in his eyes was bothering What is with Minnesota? Oh boy You know Yeah, it's like this bastion of normalcy and then bunch of weirdos creebs live there. Oh what he's got another he's doing gong rips there. Let's see him doing a b. Now I approve of that platform, Yeah Yeah Mhm. Oh, he's Rosta. That's the Christian that he is. That is cool. Yeah. Be free, Yp I mean, look where' society is ready For a leader that openly does drugs. I feel like, if they're not gonna to make a new season of Fargo, Fargo's gonna make it, you know Does anybody care if your governor smokes pot I don't And I like platform. I think that from what I can tell, where you're moving completely off of a. issues based anything into the Spencer Pratt Now Sencer Pratt, by the way, he did film that fire. Yeah. Okay, and I don't know if you know, but Mayor Chocolate Rain was not that good. Yeah She mayor Chocolate R. John May had a good phone call with her on his show.. Hi, Mayor Chocolate Ring. The the bitar it was such a tasteful. I really liked it because John was so tasteful and not bring up the massive homeless problem. Yeah Yeah anyway LA. God, but listen, L.A's always my home It's my hometown. It's so fucking sad what's happened to that place. It's notating. Listen, you can True. You think it's deliberate then running it into the ground First of all, how It's impossible What's to gain. What's to be gained, sir? T take everybody's shit and get you in your fifteen minute city, which they've been talking about forever. And first of all, people I think probably with Gavin Newsom that recall was probably stolen Don't get hung up on any of these elections because I think Trump proved to us that you know, the now you understand the president's not in charge of shit, right? Like Everybody gets that now. so. Anybody now is going to be like, well, now we bring in the Democrats to save the day Hey you're the whoever. Yeah. Let's yeah. how about this? Just hear me? Here's one more I'm not a political person I am after this guy because I don't like how he was cheated and I fell for him while he was crying in the sun That's me crying in the sun and hitting a bg. Here's another political thing I do believe in though, okay I was thinking maybe we put a day in between Saturday and Sunday and make the weekend one day longer. And I was thinking maybe for the name we make it make it fununday 'cause it's in between Sunday and Saturday. Thank you. finally 'cause it's in between the weekend. F finally. I think we should be able to have dinner for breakfast and call it dakfast. Thats I've always said that I'm in Well this k this kid jerks off to the thought of being eaten and shittered out by a Pokemon. I can promise you As an expert Just based on the way he spoke, that kid has like I'm my way to a Pokemon. she eats me and it's like a guy. like it's also gay somehow. Do you understand what they did to these kids and that ain't no accident It's not an accident? They have no taints left. You've heard about the microplastics. Oh yes, yes, yes. ice caps have come back, by the way. That's not a thing. Yeah. but your taints. So now there's nothing between the ass and balls. He does have dark reptilian eyes too. So maybe Sunday is another way It's a conspiracy. That's another way to get them to control us. I don't like his irverent sense of humor. I'm gonna to be honest. I think that's rude Oh, you think that's cute to take the days of the week and call one of them fun day then everything's out of control next thing you know You know what? we're getting link heavy. We're too heavy. P be college funund day. But Dakfast, Dad's got legs. That's got Here you go. Let's light in the mood. It's the summer season. Everybody's going on Vay. Here we go. I can't pay that I assume it's for Minnesota or something. sharp. There it is. Yes. He's in the. You know what's really cool is because I've stayed at so many hotels as have you, you know exactly what where this is. L this is maybe a courtyard by Marriott or maybe a Ramada. It's the indoor pool. It rees of chlorine. This is a public space. This is not his private And Why? Because there's wooden benches and a rules posted on the wall just because of that This is like. horse play But the audacity to do a Licicky video. Is that a name for this? I just called it that. Okay. There's not like that's like a new thing you do. youre like, hey But cool guys. Cool guys often do licky videos. Should I be doing Licky videos? I don't even know I'm pretty ho But do you think is this gonna to work? Are you single guy? I don't understand what the goal of this video is firstirst of all, so I just need to be clear on this. You don't get it I get it. He's trying to let you know that he's hot, wet in the pool waiting for you Hey, come and get it He's it's an invitation for love. Looks like an Ia meatball in that pool I soaking in some broth. It's like I'm buying cheap furniture. like give me that one that love it. Give me the meatball, L look at his lips. You know what I'm in the mood to get weird. This is honestly, u before I saw this video, I didn't wantna get weird, but now. all I want. Can I tell you my dream which just to do just to do a show of nothing A you familiar with? Yeah, well, you know what? not I am, but I'm not just gonna watch DikTok, even though I'm a single uncle of two l Jet. A are you on TikTok? No. I really do need to get onto it, but yeah, everybody does. My attention span is like YouTube short, but not talk short yet, but I will watch a lot of YouTubbe' If you make a channel of TikToks, I will watch that on YouTube. That's a really good idea. So as it's a very boomer of me. As you may or may not know, I like to feature the marginalized communities on Motherfogers. And here we go. let's see Get over it, Jennifer I'm never gonna have nothing to do with you ever because of it and your little whores You wna run a h game? You're dumb bitch. I'll never have nothing to do with you, you fucking hse. Dude. Wow. and I bet Jennifer's beautiful. I know. Well I bet he's right to be this upset because I bet's like an angel. This is my favorite line of TikToks is like the older people that don't understand this is a public platform. likeike Jennifer is not the only one that's going to see it But we all got to see it, which is even more special Well, so how many followers is? I'm curious like I would texas to somebody if I saw it.. Oh Jenna goes on Instagram, my girlfriend does and she'll text me like anything that she finds is like this not from TikTok I never got into that. Oh you She' just gott to go to TikTok because you find gems like this But here's the thing, if you've ever been burned by a lady, like the temptation to make this kind of a talk. Especially when I got the best hair and mustache and beard thatad I've ever seen on TikTok, frankly. I know. Look at that amazing But everybody knows that's not the way to go when you're burned Dude if you're love, you cannot Don't write a love letter. I would tell this to everybody, never write a love letter in your life Wait a minute. Have you ever gone back and look at something that you wrote in earnest to some. Why would it keep the love letter that I wrote to somebody? They've got it. All my embarrassing shit Because they died before prom and now they can never read it. But you hold it close to your heart. You should write love letters when you of course I want to sm you because it smells so. Itty is so good I only smoke during the show and on Thursday. Worst addiction there is. I know, I love it. Yeah You're allowed to write love letters. I would say up until like, een, right Maybe eighteen is that or sixteen? How about forty seven? What if somebody wrote you a love letter at forty seven I would love it if Tom wrote me a love letter, he'll be like You know, you know, like the obligatory letters. I thought that was a beautiful message that you played at the top of the show. I can see the love in those those weird border collie eyes of his. Border call Chips of blue ice eyes looking right in. I could tell everything he was thinking. it was a deep love letter, frankly. It was actually beautiful. It better than the nineteen eighties tat ash one sixteen W you digging it? Oh. That's what I was like dig. There a really really nice sound to it. thatling noise. Fuck it bl. That's a bles makeake. There's nothing like it. He's not wrong. You he these on the sixteen inch models. He's not wrong. Dude. in nineteen eighty He's more pronounced than the sixteen inch models. You go to your nana's house This is the model she had. and you're right I' always thought about putting my dick in the fans. Why you could have been First Lady of France, had you done that? Why is it that I always think about putting my dig in the fan Be I think you're not. That's like one hand clapping. It's you're supposed to not answer it and just think about it a lot Right? Do you have Do you have to fight it? Look, I don't have a dick in this fan personally, but But I think I have, yeah, I've always wanted to do that I think that'll be really cool. I, I mean, if you got a dick, you might as well stick in random shit, right Like the Great God Pan, are role models for your children the nature isist with goat feet. Will you be honest with me and tell me at your youngest and horniest? It's the and you were Jay H H to the Io Yeah builds up a lot ofress. Yeah it's a lot of pressure. Forere you? did you not? touch yourself because of that ear I anybody used to make deals with God that I would stop. Just one more run, Lorsish. One more run. Yeah. Oh my God. And then I remember the last time I By the way, got a streak at my parents' house and never getting caught once Really? And I remember the last one. I did have one more run in it but I never had it since I got out, retired to jerk off Hill's Austin weather. What did you jay your D to back then? Be What? What did you jay your D to? Because you were a Jehovah's witness. You't you had pornography or magazine. Oh, that's the saddest thing about it. Well, we find, okay, this is a cliche almost, but it's true. We all found porn in the woods when I was young Oh, like an gold or something It wouldn't even be that hard to get. It would be like next to on the ground, next to a trees dump And like, did all the Jehovah's kids know that that Not just for Jehvah's witnesses, all Oh b Here's like you young Joseph Smith with a dowsing rod. Dousing for pornography. No No, it was just free to get porn. You be in the wood like, you know, you have a bad friend whoses mom's boyfriend keeps his porn easy to find, you know And what would have happened to you if you were caught duringing your D in the church, not in the church, but I wouldn't do that in the church. Now, I'll tell you one thing that we wornried about was jerking off of the church. No, but I mean, like, would you get would you what did they punish you? How would you be punished? There wasn't like a U I mean, I think when I was still in it, they were just like, it's obviously a filthy habit, but you know, and you shouldn't do it, but it's not like, don't get all fucking I'm paraphrasing it. Like did they hit you? because I know like Michael got hit a lot and he was a Jeoah. Who's Michel? Jackson He got hit by his dad, like was it corporal punishment? or is that just because is one of the band members said that he saw Joe Jackson pouring some weird black oil shit into his fucking ear and some weird ceremony. and I've heard of this at least three other times where other people Unconnected to that, this thing of pouring something in your ear. I don't know what it is. It's like that st that Star Trek movie where they put the pinchers in the ear. I'll never forget it. I know like putting a dick in a fan, putting that pincher in your ear. Oh but dick in a fans's less I wince less at the dick in the fan than I do at that thing going in my ear because Mikeickl stop that fan easy, so I don't worry about that. but I can't do nothing if you' got fangs in my ear. What can I do? Fuck, I know. Okay here It sold.. Well, a lot of black guys are gonna show up for that call lot, otkay chick that gets it like that. Every black woman hates this bitch but I promise you, a black man like, she's all right. I like her. I'm a black guy. I'm hard as a rock right. Yeah, she's fantastic. This is from Baltimore And she's from Baltimore. Do you have to hear any more that understand? No, She's great. F Balti, O of course you're gonna talk like that That's actually the least retarded Baltimore accent I've ever heard Baltimmore, Baltmore. She sounds less retarded than a normal Baltimore accent It seems young to be working at these Yeah. wait, how old is she? I don't think she's of age Oh wait a minute. She's like a twelve old. Well, she talks like a very mature young woman, so I was f An would be anyone would be fooled by such a mature young woman fiance worked for Led Samo over Right Now. All I will have Ebody in fucking goddamn trouble. can play around Are just going to show me pornography? I'm like about to come. Give him back or there will be trouble. a, I don't under. Is she talking with that other guy From before Is he in a fight with a O day guy But yet no life No, no. good guess but the guy with the shut up, Jennifer. Oh yeah, yeah. Is he fighting over a woman with a woman? Maybe this is Jennifer Maybe this is fuckking she's I mean, she is even more beautiful than that chick at the carot. H, let me hear what she wants. I'm not sure I understand what her want is. Here we go. fiance worked to lend them all back to me. mister Wh? Glen Samalon Gl Samalone. in fuckingam trouble. Play that name back enhance. Enhance, Glenn, mister what? G. Give him back or there will be trouble. She's fighting for her man Should I stay or should I go? It decion. Well, who is she talking to? like China? She's talking to the other woman clearly U China Again, do not contact these people as much as you want to fuck them I know you want to fuck the showit out of them not contact the people on this show. Look, I know this has been a very erotic You got that Mexican delinent with his fucking tattoo face mom know, it's so beaute. I see an upcoming story about men popping out of the sewers. Oh yeah, we have that story. Well listen, for the first time, I gott to get these talks remember that men in the sewers. Okay. Okay, here we go My name is Shimmy Brown. I'm here in Benur. I'm trying the local cuisine, the Longos. S say that? This guy reminds me of D Rosa his music. You you see his music? pride like sausage and cheese and wh. It's not breakfast your dummy. So And bacon as well. ground. Gh going on Its pizz but it's. You ever had those?ri There's Georgian bread both things.z completely deep fried. But this is in the nice white cream amplifies the white cream. Mattiness. Sour creamy donum lge ' just lovely. And now I've got this flat sausage. Yellow sauce. Dude. I think the ds are go, dude, just guy dude It's just like a big sausage If if it were battered, it would be better, but it's quite nice. Right. My name is Kimmy Brownell. Have you seen his albums Jimmy Brown, Jimmy Brown is a nineteen year old boy with this is his character he is. and he has he has all these like British pain songs like like Desho's hysterically like I was diagnosed dter. It's not even I'm poorly remembering it, but that's where I know him from. So this is him doing some like food review So this is Langosch. It's called Langosh. It's not a breakfast thing per se, but he is eating for breakfast. I just think that it's so funny because that shit slaps so good. That's like Hungarian pizza. If you do go to Hungary, get the Langch. it is wait, what is it' called something different here. I go from this place Thanks little bread Bop is Georgian. Oh It's like a hollowed out bread thing with Oh It's delicious. Yeah. That's funny. I justked how Now I want that. Hello soulce. It's called mustard. 'Ccauseuse he's always talking about like, you know, self hatred drinking and eating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, ye. There's one video that's really good he has where it's like a doctor explaining he's got diabetes And the music is like Robert Smith from the from the Cure. Hes singing Yeah, he sounds like the cure. What he sing? It's pretty funny I didn't realize Yeah. I just thought it was something cute little Brish I find sex abhornt and it's all like abnormal development fucking slcks from You like Lord of the Rings, right Oh, who does it T Dream And let's be honest looosely Dappointing half remembered Like is L The new look very abal, shimmery light, but definitely not as magical as you think. What the fuck is he talking about? I acc I'm soring you off Well he should face him. Yeah, dude Yeah you know, even an with some blow even before you do that. No It's good. This reminds me of Madonna's last facelift. and after she was on all the pain pills, I don't know if you caught her doing her weird shit. It was pretty on. As a matter of fact, I clipped that specific clip of her on that rail and played it on my podcast over and over but now that you brak it up Yeah. No, Mada. Her face settled down eventually, I believe. Yeah, no, the face lift looks great now, but she just she got in front of the camera too soon. You gotta give it a year to settle down A What happened? I spilled this because our stupid mother. Someone help so that we don't. Ga get some help here for. It ruin the equipment Gys, you don't want to it's runrening everywhere. Oh I just the moving words of Sir Magneto, just Sir Ian Magneto just now But don't you think that is rule number one of getting ripped alone is like, don't the camera on yourself. J don't Rule number two, don't steal my outfit if you do And my exact same torso Go steal my hat and suspenders and my He's good shape. He looks I know. look. the secret to getting old is just staying thin. That's the I think that's the secret because you just be skinny Here we go. Here's some more good stuff It's a secret cave entrance. watch Just watch just watch.e bye. Bye bye now. It. Here he goes. Wh what the fuck. So it's a secret cave entrance. you go in and you get spit out somewhere else. But watch this fucking shit Oh Oh, where is he? Where the fuck is he Dude, dude, it's taking way too long. I'd be dead by now. No, that's one of them Filipino clam divers Th didn't go down a long time those boys I don't like that. That freaks me to fuck out. That's my worst suuffocating and also not a lot of space. I take up a lot of space. Worse. I don't take up a Filipino amount of space. That's whole thing is like, how do you fucking find out you're thin enough to do this? Like you get one shot at it, dude. You get one fucking shot. You just your f. That's what that guy's mom said earlier. I feel like anynie could get away with this. You're skinny enough. Would you try it, Anie No I wouldn't I probably could do it though. You could do it. That' ag great answer. No, but I could. I don't like how long it took him to get spit out. Yeah, I it was very uncomfortable the entire time. Fucking terrifying. is this nightmare hilpp I think that looks like the Philippines, but if it's not, it's Indonesia. But I say Philippines, right? I say we send Ari there and let him try. He's already done it and been there and tried. I know I probably insulted the people. had to get a hamstrer curse removed M I hear that. H Yum. What is she what why is she doing that? What do you mean? why? Because diet Coke fucking slaps bro, that's why You've had a really good diagnosia? It's not a response to Do she have to doal with the guy and the girl that were fighting earlier Like is she the one they're fighting over? Like I'm just trying to put our contacts together. You know what we need? What is that on TikTok when you can do split screens? Like I wish I could unify all of these people on one conversation and have them all have like a weird off together Mhm. And I bet you they would get really into it Can we do that at some point It Soate conversation between all my favorite TikTokers. You know what that is How was Stern and Hollywood's weird squaare is what it is, right Mag show was fun, yeah. Oh my God. Now it's a nightlare. Good times. Good times I think the emic really But anyway, here we go. Oh, he's a fruit loop dude. I love him. I still love him. He's still the best. Well, he don't love you. In fact, don't touch him. He He has a special elevator for his car Oh yeah. to not have we doesn't have to have any human contacts. I don't blame him. Hey. I don't blame him. lookook the older It's worth it. If you watch his new stuff, it's really worth it It's really worth all the hassles You know, that's why I think is great I loveved him so much. Can I tell you that Howard Sttern was My greatest terrible influence. I I was working at my dad's forklift shop when I was fourteen years old, that's when I started listening to Howard Stern. every morning for the full four hours on ninety seven point one. and then that thing would end and then the rest of my day was shit. ' then I had to listen all the fake bullshit. You right. And you're like, o, I just did she rock Howard would put on Howard Sttern plroom to the people's bedroom to turn on their clock radio I hear it. Not very professional, but then again I went through the medicine cabinets as well. You did? Oh my goodness. I would never at that point It's pretty young, but when I do Shi Rog like I would check any met I mean Literally fucking creep. What did you what were you into? Ridiculous pain killers You couldn't get them like that back then. So you a lucky fine, But then that's true All of a sudden like I don't know at one point, Oxy cotton got very available. Yeah, that's not good. But that's better than what now. I think you just could give fentanyl've never I I would never I mean, I don't want to take them if I have surgery, that's how much I'm like Fentanyol Well just fucking opiates, but I know. That's scary. Now the opiates and there's some new one now. What's the new one? I don't know kids, children. Oh,'s I think they're the one she's drinking It's rich' good. What's the new one I have no idea. someomeone just told me about it U'm, you know, I'm not that cool like I don stay on top of the new opioids like I should That's true. Okay, here we go. I want you to see this and tell me if you want your girlfriend to have this haircut. Hey everyone, welcome back. Today, I have Angel with me. She wants to try an undercut. so it's an undercut pixie. We wre this down for generes. N three. Number three on the back. Good.. I love the music always Undercut. Undercut three? Wh Oh my God. go undercut three undercut three. Now you're ready to eat some taco The Rosie Oonna. Underc Now you're ready to go back to your pit bull rehab and showem what's up. Oh, she's using the straight iron. extxtra spiky. Wow Before and after. It looks so different. Th is two different people. What did she have before again? Wait, do you have to do the face? You have to go like this gir and'm smiling on the inside That's an amazing. What a great smile where like your mouth Now you can see it's a smile, but if I describe it to you, you wouldn't know, would you? She's like smiles like that U Can my mouth even do that? That's like out of a Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland sketch. She's like Tweetled D mouth Well, the hair looks like a wigard that I bought recently. my in place. Can I pay you Nayona to get your hair done. We see it before one more time How dot even notice you change it to after, by the way. Yeah, here you go hold on. beginning Hi, everyone, welcome back. Today, I have Angewl with me. She wants to Andrew. an undercut. so it's an undercut pixie. we're gonna use number three. There it is. Manna, underndercut three, the pixie. Let's go. Yeah, maybe like twenty five K. Okay we do it? So she's got her same haircut touched up. That's true. It's not that different. Where' she go? one haircut only salon We swear by this one haircut. I swear. So this You know what? If I was a Filipino with a collection of Ed Hy t shirts, I'd get both of them pregnant twenty times each So this lady does specialize in this haircut. You know those Filipinos earlier? That's what they like. They dive into her like that cave Comem popping it out of the other one theat the smile It is really a great smile. I like I'm so happy. R. The music too goes down like this. I can't do my mouth like that This sucks. No. I think she should I think she should go really long. Kurt Maskar, thank you so much for being here. You're an absolute joy and a national treasure. Check out the Mystery Bys new episode every Thursday on W. I people watch it so much. I've dropped a lot of mysteries on there. Okay. A lot of stuff I probably shouldn' have talked about. Well, it's you kn it on your show come see me at Leicester Square Theater july twenty second in London, Englland. It sounds like the name of this chick, Leicester Square. Leicester Square Until next time, I love you guys First one. All boys
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