Gimp Training and Standards

Well, welcome. Welcome to your mom's house Me TV is America's number one classic TV entertainment network, airing over sixty of the greatest TV series every week. Now, MeTV presents The Golden Girls of Summer, showcasing the best of the Golden Girls. Watch Dorothy, Blanche, Rose, and Sophia, Weknights on MeTV at ten PM nine central. Log on to meTV dot com now to find out where to watch MTV free over the air and on cable, satellite and select streaming services. Me TV is memorable entertainment television. What's your favorite genre genre? Gre far. Farts, Black guys, Jews, old people conflict making fun of women. I'm gonna go like Black Eyes Jews ait, I. Black Black guy Jews Yeah, did how you say Where is blacks on here? I I know there's a That's the blue one. If we have to pick you do farts black. J farts. Back There's a ton of black drops right. You got a McDonald's Nickg? That's Brian Simpson. Dixson eightineen. and retard it. Yeah, you h It even n again. What's the geo content? Oh, sure Set it out, bitch. That's my favorite part. Here's the juiceo. Invent it highways, invent it the very microphone that I use as a musician. Who said that? who was that she was. Kanye. Oh Kanye Oh yeah, he's an apology to her. microphone I like his name I don't like the word evil next to Nazis What offends you H yummy pussy. You know, there's a lot of people that are pro hiller. Let's start the show. Hi guys, Wlcome to your mom's house. I'm Christine. Tim is traveling and in his place I have the wonderful Duncan Tussll. Everybody, Duncan's back. Hi in your mom's house. Thank you. Back by popular demand. than you that's amazing We love you I love coming on this show. Fill me in on what's happening, the important things going on in the culture. Yeah Wow, that's is that opening up to Ken Homin's sarcophagus? Isn't that the sound when they opened it up after And it's eerie. It's like thousands of years.. It's been closed and then they open it and thank God they were cool. We played it again because it's so eer. That's my mother in law's monumental fart. That's the fart heard around the world. Did you know that? It's like a thirty second fart or something? No listen, just really listen. I want you to really hear it You know, I bet you could use I bet you could give that to AI and could create it could show her butole looks like. Wow. Aoustically. I bet there's a way to identify the probablyro, right? I mean There's got to be like you know what to do, people. You know what to do. He's right. There's an app out there that's like match The butth hole movements to this f. There has to be match this or you should invent it if it's not. someone will do a much better job than me. I'm out of my vibe codating phase, but maybe I'll jump back into it just for that Listen, before we get into it, I have to plug. I always don't you feel like when you say the word plug, I automatically think but plug plug my asshole. Yeah. That's to plug my anus. Isn's not wild, yeah, but plugs like Because of butt plugs, it's hard to say plug now Isn't that crazy? I know. And I don't want to think it. It's like whenever I see a fan, I always think I want to put my dick in this fan, even though I don't even have a dick. What? I know. That is so cool. That's such I've thought that too when I when I see fans. That's a weird thing. That's that so prominent that It might be, you know, it just might be the thing that gives you access to the simulator You know what I mean? It's like it's a cheat code in the simulator because like no one will ever put their dick in fans. So don't worry about. Somebody's doing it right now, Duncan. Because this hundreds of people now are putting their dicks in fans, hoping they can control time space That's why you do it. That's why you do it That's the only what's. The only way to drive a time machine is you navigate via your cock in a fan of metal fan. if that was the secret to time travel, and all these smart people like Stephen Hawking and all they've tried for years and like just some fucking dumbstoner in Austin. is' just like, o, I'm gonna st my dick in a fan. holy shit, dinosaurs Dude, we just wrote the next Hollywood movie This is this Juurassic park. Jurassic Park eight or whatever. Horrific. It's the secret of Doctor Who? It's just yeah, fucking suck. That does I think it they suck. I sorry We haven't plug. I forgot to plug my asshole. Plug your ass. Plug my butt. I'm so Jazzed, I'm coming to London. I can't believe I said jazzed. I'm so embarrassed God july twenty second Leicester Square Theater in London. and then I do Chicago, september eighteenth and nineteenth and then Chhark Lake Titties in Puta at Wise Guys And then New Orleans. Yeah L lost Louisiana. I was gonna to say Los Angeles, but that's not where that is. New Orleans. New Orleans at the Martiga World is part of a Legion of ganks. Yeah. S skate fest dude, arere you doing it? Yeah. Shut the fuck up. Yeah. I'm doing it me in a Medsker. I think we're gonna do a mystery boys last. Dude. Your show, by the way, if y'all aren't on Fucking mystery boys, get your life, get your life. It's so Thank you. crushing. It's so good I mean, thanks it's here. It's YMH. It's like It's incredible. It's a thingit It's a fit. It's a fit. Where's it? Where's the get your life Black gotta be in the black foolder. Black women. gotta get your life Well, now I got it here it is Y life. Hey you' what Get your life. You ought to get your life if you don't know If you don't know the Mystery Boys podcast G Girl get your life. Get your life. That's what I mean Um Okay, so wait, unplug those live dates, Duncan, what dates do you have coming up that you want to bug? I'm going to buplug the I think I did I what can you you have the d I don't my brain is gone. I dick in a fan. I'm gonna go put my dick in a fan. I'm gonna be doing live performance art. It's just me putting my dick in a fan. You would sell so way more tickets than I'm selling now Way more. All of a sudden my dge is like what did you do? You know the got a new pro no? I just I decided just publicly start putting my cock in a fan for an hour and just sold out immediately. Seriously, that's that's the essence of showmism. All the years of working on jokes, No, I just the whole time all I could have done was publicly shove my cock and different kinds of fans I'm mean I would watch that tour show my Dick and thean tour, Why don't you rename it You got to rename your tour Branding, bro. You know what you could call that tour? What the Crystalia tour? Did he put his neick in the fans? Heid put his dick in lots of fans . Wow. What a banger, Thankk you. Talent, Duncan Trust. Thank you so much. Thank you. Dann, that was funny. Yeah, I'm around the roast master. I love roast. It's my favorite thing. That's what you' did. That's what you're know. Oh yeah, everyone knows me for my great roasts Boy, you better watch out when I roast you I'll get you a zink A june twenty fifth, june twenty sixth, June. june twenty fifth to the twenty sixth, that's actually two days. I don't know if you say two that two days. Anyway, I'm going to be in Nashville B. getting my dick massacred at Zany's Comedy Nightclub. And 'cause I have a special fan I haven't used yet Sharpen blades. I'm gonna pe shharpen blades. Oh my God, please please And then of course I'll be at the Wilbur Jun twenty you guys Boston massive huge hits. That's a great venue. I love the Wilb. You guys, he's going to bring out a bigger fan. Well, I mean All right, I don't want to give it away. spoiler. It's it's actually a bow propeller which to me is a fan Basically a fan That's fucking amazing. I know It's going to be brutal though. it hurts Dude it's it's hurts. I got have to get stitches after the show Yeah, but you'll make enough money to offset the cost of the They are tri. Yeah, yeah, and we, you know, we got all these kids now. Cust Yeah, that's another thing. I just don't want any more kids. You You guys, homeboys got how many kids you have now? Four You G guys, buy tickets to see the goddamn show.le What are doing? Please Help Duncan Trussll support his family. And if you happen to be at the show where I where I successfully dismember my cock We will do a raffle and one person in the audience will take my co home You heard it here first. That's a YMH exclusive. Yeah. He said it, it's going to happen Come on out All right, you know what? Let's get this show started. I feel like you and I are lightning in a bottle today. It feels good. Do you feel? Aroused yet because Hold on. I'm always at kind of like a high level state of arousal Gross know I'm always turned on That's awful. What an awful person U God How the tell Flash you lady.. and then tell her, I hope this made your day. 'Cacause I'm looking forward to you making my day when you do the same thing. I'm gonna pe it h on. I can't find 's the. izard. Wow. Yeah. There's so much theres. Yeah, man, ye Ah No, no, no no. Feel it in your jeans. Pull them all the way up There you go. Are your jeans tight? Yeah, it's good. 'causeuse I have a hernia. It hurts. It pushes into my her. You like it least real. something about it is sensual. Sensual. Can I tell you that, I know a lady, a gal who only wears thong underwear And that's literally what that is is a piece of fabric runubing against your beehole. Yeah And she's had two kids, so like she's got hemorrhoids probably just like I do. Sure, of course. What do you think's happening there? To the hemorrhoids? No, just like psychologically in her life. That she's wearing a thong. Yeah. U You know, the song phenomena is really curious, isn't it? Because it it's like You've got essentially a chord, right? That's what it is. It's like just a rubbing against It's a cor. literally is aching like a piece of rope and being like, let me rub it against my butt. and my vagina. But sometimes I want to move, I want to bend over, and then the bacteria from my ass will go into my vagina. I would guess that for the bacteria in your asshole The Thong is a kind of super highighway that you can travel down into the pussy It has to be, right? Maybe some scientists out there could, but it would spread theoretically like so so yeah, if you're wearing a phong, you're For sure For your ass bacteria, it's like the equivalent of this silk road. It's like this silk road that changed history where they started shipping sh It's like seafare. It's a gift but I guess it's all underwear. I mean I, you know, I don't have anything against thongs. It's just it seems like youre you're trying to say, look, I want to show my butthhole I mean, my butt. it's a way to show your. I' agree because I wear full flavored cotton breathable Chonies I am I'm fifty. When am I Who am I fucking impressing Um But does it make my butt look great? No No But then it's like the sacrifice of vanity versus vaginal infections, you really got it. but maybe she doesn't get vaginal infections. Maybe not. Maybe she sterilizes the thong before she puts it on. Or maybe because she's done it her whole life. L maybe her callice Yeah callice but Thong callouses Yeah, I don't know. I've never put much thought into the like Well, it's time to start thinking, isn't it? I'm sorry It's one of those things that passes you by I to put thought to important topics. Oh my Godd. ye I I don't know I need to think about this stuff more. Yeah let's talk about the horny cowboy first of all, sorry Yeah. Let's get into him. Carl Hi, Carl Is that his name It's Carl, right? Kurt Kurt hurt. That dude's name is Kurt, Is his last name available I don't want to dockx them or anything, but have you seen the new Cape fear? Not yet. It's great It's great Like imagine that is Max Katie. Like thats the guy. That's the guy who stalks you. Just this y yo. Because that is a scary man. Duncan, you're one hundred percent right. It's not the one that outwardly looks like the psycho. It's the guy like this. It's like, well, I'm just a nice guy. I'm just trying to What's weird about this just trying to flash my wife and my lady and get her to flash me back. It makes me But it's, but the look and is the thing that's always freaked me out about his work, his body of work is that he's got a kind of clarity in his eyes that I don't like You know what I mean? He's somehow really all there. He's super focused. He's got this Well, but you know what that means is that that he's just really this horny. L he's just so Oh, look at happappy Taco Tuesday. Oh God d It's panned. He liked it so much he panned it She's gonna shit on his face U that is what in Wow Dude. That is so gnarly Now, let me ask you this, do you think he's so and he's married, right? Yeah Is he just cororny or is it this chick that's arousing him this hard? I'm okay, here's going to be my guess. Yeah. My guess is that, you know Garden variety swingers Right And they started posting he started posting its weird stuff and he didn't expect it to take off and then suddenly it takes off Now they're locked into being eternally horny Like he can't post, he can't come on there and post like my mother passed away You know what I mean It's his identity now Y becausecause it gets him traction. Yeah. Why aren't you following him, dude? What's up? A and Fance follows Kile d kile E every comic foic. This guy's the best, dude. Howy maneell Fallis him? Howy man, Deell Fallis him. That is so cool See all followers. Let's see Obama, the Qints Is it a secret Kabal of leadership and would be tied into the Obama. Welcome to the Mystery Boys. I'm Kermy's Drez White Clawsmiss, Dunstan Rudeu. We're here to gape your fourth eye FBI Atlas. JFK's doctor. Amaz. Hitler's doctor. MK Ultra. Adrreina Krum. Elser Crownley, you ain't heard the mystery boys get to bom I didn't see one dick in those catacombs and I looked everywhere. Well, this is the show guys. I hope that your mom's house is happy. Anyone else ever had a thought that's so out of left field and no matter what you go to distract or logic your way out of it, it just keeps coming back Here's a thing a lot of people don't know. 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They're packed with protein and taste like the nostalgic toaster pastries you grew up with, but without all the sugar You can get five dollars off your next order, including the protein pastries at magicspoon dot com slash ymH. That's magicspoon dot com slash ymH for five dollars off Dude, I think you're right He's a swinger. hisis beard has gotten darker He's definitely dying beard. Yeah, that's okay. That's okay. It's it's a little jarring at first he's so horny. Can we scroll down? I just wan to see if there's anything he says that isn't this like crazy. Oh, he's lifting his way. He's gotta show you he's lifting way. Very inspiran Look at what Matt Daley nineteen asks.. Oh. Are you Christian That's your question That dude is like He's like the groundskeeper at Zora Ranch, at like Epstein's Ranch, for sure. Look that other guy said, still waiting for the hog reveal. Hail Hail Satan X niney nine X. Still waiting for the hog reveal. You've been torturing me for years, man. When do I get to finally see that hog And then right underneath it. Are you Christian? It's such a dichotomy. It's. It's a light and dark right next to each other right there. Like if he is a Christian, it's okay. Sure This is amazing. Let's look at the reply for didy write back to Hil Satan nine, nine You're back Didn't we have a hog reveal on april first? The video is still what it What? Get in there immediately. Laughing What are you doing? We got a hog reveal, april first, let's get down. Lady Where's that hog reveal? There's no wayy can't show his hog No, he probably has a joke. It's probably like a pig And he's like, H see, you guys want to see my hug That's what these idiots think is like real funny. Yeah, it's gonna be a pig. Yeah, for sure. Oh, look at him and his grosswife. U Here we go. I need to watch this. J start by running your hands her head fuck off and gripping her hair. I'm giving her just a little bit of a pull All right and then run your hand down the side of her face. Okay, H chin. Okay, okay, Got it. I got it. Race her chin and lean in just a little bit. Okay, how much? Best way to stimulate her sexual nervous system. What the fuck? Thats start running your hand Kristen has given her permission. a Hog Hog review. They got us given her permission. They got us they got us. Oh, that Satanist was like what the fuck! He He had the loop out He was like finally a hog reveal. And you know what too, You're absolutely right at's Swinger because he's using that lingo of like, Kristen gave me permission. Like they have to talk about I mean, look, I understand the the allure of being a swinger. I get it. I totally do. I think the nonstop communication with your partner off would make me Insane. And like, is it really worth it if you have to discuss every fucking feeling you have? Horrible. I would hate it. It's a hell situation. Orgies I've never done of them. Iagine how fucked up I've never done an orgie. I'd like to. You would do an orgy Oh go That's one of my I would love to. Dude, I love it. I would do it if like I would do it if I could get like Cumal Naniani's trainer and fucking And whatever that shit is. it' a great shit. If I could get like that, but like, you know what I mean? I'm gonna like look around and no doubt, like like everybody's gonna be in better shape than me. I'm gonna come within three seconds There you go. It looks great. Imagine being in really does. Being in an org and Noniani walks in and just starts banging. Yeah, but here's the thing, Duncan is like you're not gonna do it in a brightly well lit place. Like you're gonna be fucking ripped in half, bro. like you're gonna to be highs fuck Okayike it's going to be dark. And you're not going to care I'm gonna care I'm going care. No, for real. this is not anyone else's problem. Like I guess I shouldn't like shit on orgies because it's you can you can sh issues, but it's just You know, the Orgy Dome at Burning Man. I could have Oh yeah, I forgot I gone there. I didn't. Here's my problem with sexual activity at Burning Man. I've been there one time, just I did a TV show there whver, I didn't know that. Yeah, a long time ago. And I remember there was like Omlet for Orgasms tent girls are getting eaten now or whatever. And here's the deal is that It's so dirty at burning m. Like there's no showering. Like the hose truck comes by and hoses people down There's no way to piss and shit in dignity. You have to go to go to the port of Jh. Yeah, it's not sanitary. No one like ever said that. It's filmy. You're using wet wipes to clean your body out there in the dust. L disgusting. It's very disgusting. But that as a lady, like if I had an orgie, I would STD past everybody like I want everybody's stuff and then everyone gets showered thoroughly cleaned Yeah, like I want likeire a bher Yeah Like when you go to those like spas or have you ever been to those spas or they scrub Korean like Korean spa, scrub everyone down Test their test what's going on and then bang. And then bang. Yeah. But ow but it's just how long is it going on for? Like, doesn't it F five minutes. It's like trying to watch an entire porn. There's no way. No way. so your orgy's like five minutes except for like people like the horny cowboy who's gonna be fucking all night. He's not gonna stop. It's gonna be him and like two other You know what I mean? You're ready to go to bed. You're done. You came, you're coming down. You're just like, I wan to go to bed. and this guy's like, God, you never, you know this technique a tantic technique. putut two fingers in your lady's nostrils and pull her towards you smearing your jiz in her eyes Ara. There's no bigger nightmare for me than that I mean, I don't know. I can't imagine me either. I can't Mbe I'm uncomfortable with my own sexuality probably I'm sure I, you know, I'm I'm way too traumatized. Me too. Me too. No. Really? Oh my go. I mean this is' do I'll do a reveal that I've never talked about. Oh, okay, go ahead. So mage exclusive. You know When I first came to LA How to make money And so I became prostitute a sex worker. They didn't say that back then. They called us hose. and so like I had a pimp And I had to like, you know, and you can't When you're a what they're calling a sex worker now, but when you're a hoe and you're called up and you're like, Hey, go, fuck this lady. Weirdly, it was always ladies. never want to do Never once a dude. And I was always banging these ladies up in the Hollywood Hills. Yeah. And it broke my heart. It did. I was used. Yeah. used in a. Like once I remember going to, I haven't even told this to Earon, but I remember going up to like tire it was like a gymnasium filled with these like elite models. they What they did to me that night. Tumatized. Yeah, I have trauma. PTSD I can't do an or. You are lucky that you never got called to do a dude That's Never once. justust like a hot Young. I would have loved it. Yeah I was always excited just if one dude, just can I get one guy Do you know how quick Like how efficient of a sex worker you would be if you only did men. Like guys probably know how to make another guy. Yeah Bagock in like two seconds. your business would be Dude you could crank so many dicks in like an hour. if you if you routed it correctly in L.A. if you're like, hey, I'm the West side four o'clock on a Friday, you can ject five minutes, this guy's house, five minutes, five minutes, five minutes. Wow. I guess that's like, you know, if you're That's all we need is like an Uber. sex workers. This is a great idea. Yeah. you know, I don't If you had to guess though, like, If you had to guess how many like male heterosexual sex workers are there? Like how many dudes are out there making a living Like getting paid by women to fuck the women. Oh zero point zero one. There's a few, right? but it's not many. There's no such thing. There's no such thing No there was that TV show jiggalos that we were really into. was it on HBO or showhowtime? and they claimed to be heterosexual male prostitutes. Yeah, but you could tell it was so produced because it would be like I don't know. like rare Like it maybe occasionally the office Kathy, you know what I mean? Yeah like I just wanted to do this for treat myself for my birthday. And you're like But you know, I mean, obviously there's that like What's it called? The strip the strip show in Vegas. Oh yeah, but what's it called beef beef cowboy or something? Yeah Cowboy beefs. But first cowboy beef But for sure those guys probably sell their ass, right? Like after sure. So that's the zero zero zero one percent is definitely like after the show. they see, because I think married women or women in general would feel comfortable being in gaggles of other women ogling young dudes. There's a safety to that. Rcause you know there's not going to be a boundary cross Yeah, but actual don the under from down under So if you if you really want to show your lady how much you love her Gter tickets thu from down under. 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Featuure products include compounded drug products which the FDA does not approve or verify for safety, effectiveness. poor quality, prescription required, C website for full details restrictions, and important safety information, individual results may vary based on studies of topical and oral minoxidil and phasteride. It's just gay to see dudes. F of all They look kind of gay already and then when they dance, it's not hot when they dance like strippers do I don't know. I dude it that. You know, it's not hot. Oh, this shit's so fucinking gay It is gay. I mean, gay is fun. it's gay Dude, its look at that fucking cowboy. Dude, the cowboys I'd rather see a real cowboy, like a real guy from Texas The guy that comes to your house to fix your air conditioning, When he takes his boots off On your front porch. Yeah, That's arouing. You're like, Ohh this guy's a real f. Wow.' that actual cowboy versus that Well, look, it's an abomination. We live in the world of Satan and everything's collapsing. Enough. Speaking of hold on How do you feel about this guy? Maybe he's more your speed This is mine. ays the devil doesn't bring happiness You know what? You know what really fucks that up? That whole thing is the exit sign. You know what I mean? Because he's trying to get the impression he's in his little blood grotto. and then you see that green exit sign. What's that sign? Where the fuck is? Where that C you? If you have get this is really slid Oh, he's evil. That guy's real evil And for somebody, his body's not great, he's really letting it rrip. Yeah, he's at peace with his body at least. Yeahah This has to be wear in Romania. Okay, here we go. upload Instagram under the handle. A short reel of a here's the description. What is it? What's the description? This is what the staff writes, ready? Yeah. A short reel of a weirdo and his Dracula ass Ghic pool. Exact location unknown. Well, it's some kind of stupid hotel. like you could it's a dumb tourist hotel It's not real blood. W what? Yeah I sorry. I don't mean look, I don't mean to do this. I don't mean to be a debunker But if I to guess the weirdo is not in real blood. He's it some garbage goth theme hotel and and probably when he got in the pool and started doing that shit, everyone who was there left because get the fuck out. he's out of his mind to me. It just looks like he got his period. Yeah, it's per blood nightmare. It it's horrible sucks. But this is not Oh here. what do he say? No you're right it's a hotel in T Turkey called the Garden of Tombs. Oh boy. But that still doesn't explain all the wild symbolism throughout doesn't explain it. Oh boy, but it's' we really want to know what it is. Oh with a stupid candle Get the fuck out ofa here. You're not the vampireless stot. He's gonnaca. You're no fucking stot you piece of shit Yeah, a vampire, listen, I'm into this shit heavy. okay. If I'm going to be honest, I'm a goth, I fucking love this stuff. I'm gonna to go here. This is the Garden of Tombs interret. I would love. I would love it to pieces. He is no vampire sir. You're not doing a good job. vampire. Yeah, you don't walk around, Lestat would never walk around in wet box or shorts clinging to his little cock, right? You would never see Lestat. L Stah would at least pull his shorts down. But he would be mortified. Like this guy orre going nude. I feel like Listat's got a good. Lest would go nude and levitate higher. Yeah, exactly. He would Eactly. Listu wouldn't wear those shitty fucking sppincerers gifts rings see exactly. this is why it doesn't work. You you were more vampireamp vampiric. Yeah. I'd be like, yeah, dude.. This is this this guy has it. D Yeah. He didn't take it seriously enough. It feels like he's a wekender is what we used to call gos that Yeah' only weekend gos like whole time. Like this guy's going a hot top. Day Tpper. Yeah Bullshit. Yeah. and I don't even but you know, and I think it'd be fun to go there, but like real goths there like in the catacombs of Paris. likeike you know, you want to find the real vampires. They're out there, but there's no way they're getting sucked into some Bullshit tourist attraction tomb of bullshit thing. No one. It's so embarrassing. I'm so embarrassed. This is a gol. I'm very embarrassed. Yeah. Well I don't think that you know, I don't think you should be embarrassed because everyone who looks at that knows this is the most Well he's representing my community. Okay. And this is why I'm like, I don't want everybody to think that this is This is my community. You know what I mean? as a God? Right. I don't think people. I don't look at himim and I don't I don't think Gh at all. at all U This I was on an airplane going to Brea this weekend or last weekend wherever what fuck it was And u D I saw like grown men? like a lot of grown men with backpacks, which is fine. The charm. Yo, you've seen these fools with like the charms attached to a backpack. The laboooos. Is that what that is? Well, it's part of the thing is you put a laboooo on your backpack and it' not I have to say this I do have a backpack, but I put it on my suitcase I don't, I don't carry it on my unless I absolutely have to. I don't carry it on my back And the reason I don't do that is because these fuckers with their backpacks When they go on the plane, they slam into your ass with their stup. you get a greasy Comicon jiz crusted loooo rubbing into your face as they're like turning around with their backpacks. their luboooo' jangling No. No It It is completely, absolutely unacceptable across the board. It's un Okay, so that's the laboooo. I know I've heard the word, but I couldn't imagine an adult male Iseterosexual doing this? No Is this in the heterosexual male community? No, I think it's like the deep nerd community. It's like, you know what I mean? you're wearing a roboblox shirt. You're in your forties. you got boo under your fucking backpack. You're pasty and sick. These are the people who like lay down on the floor of the airport. They'll lay God Yo, As someone that's done that, like I've been trapped overnight in airports as a younger comic. I've done it. We've all done it. I have. But it's so vile now as an adult. I'm like Oh my God. Vile. That's how you get AIDS and all the fucking diseases de. Yeah. It's so dirty. So now. You think they ever steam clean those airport carpets? No. No No. and it's The way you understand why you shouldn't lay on the carpret of Go to the airport bathroom. The guys bathrooms, it's just guys just piss all over the floor. They don't even try to piss in the urnals. So it's just in front of the urnals inevitably is like a Almost a crereeak, like a crereeak of piss because guys are everyveryone's stressed out so they piss on the floor stressed. And you think it's the the travel stressediss. They're like, you know, they're freaking out. their benzos haven't kicked in yet or kicked in too much and they piss next to the urinal. And then all the piss getets on their shoes. And then they walk through the airport and so every square inch of airport carpet is covered in piss. And then the little babies, those poor little babies are watching. and you're like, put fuck, don't let your baby crawl on the fucking floor.. Well you know what's interesting about now that you say that The stress piss Dude, you just blew my mind. Stress pith. bro, I just had a fucking epiphany, like fifty years life I didn't fucking put two together why the ladies' room always smells like hot diarrhea. Yeah. People are stress stress shitting. Yeah ' alms like most ladies rooms don't smell this bad. Oh, dude. But like an airport toilet. It's a it as hell on earth. And you see these like waves of like cont, you know, u One of my kids told me, I didn't know this apparently like when monkeys When one monkey pisses, it triggers like the yawn response in humans, they all start pissing. And so some stress shit pheromone gets released from some dude and spreads to the airport. And then you get these lines of people who need to take a stress shit and the bathroom just filling with just the rancid stink. It's so bad. Horrific airports are nasty. And I ask somebody Oh, this is a hot tip if you're if you're a traveler U I'm exclusively a wasashlet user the tootal wasashlet. What is that? You've shit myouse haven't you? No. What are you talking about? I've used the bathroom. I haven't shit in your house yet. Well, what do you I don't Are we even friends? L I just I haven't had to shit there yet. Oh, well come Oh I come over shit at your house. I kind of have to shit now Thank you there and then come over and shit in my house. We have the spray. It's a spray look aty day sprays water onto your asshole so that you're not mushing Filthy shit. You know what I mean? Like you taking toilet paper and mashing the shit in your ass. Oh, badays are the best thing ever. Okay. So when I use the airport toilet I can't there's no bidet there. You could you would shouldn't use a biday at an airport to No. But you know what I have figured out I buy the wipes. airport's plumbing. I' care if I clog up their toilets. Right now Or the hotel that I'm staying in. N, I'll fuck up their plument today. Yeah. They absolutely. If you don't have a wash left for me, like, here you go, asshole Why didn't you think about that for me? Yeah. yeah. I think it's number one, I'm guessing like whatever plumbing they use at airports is the same shit they use on like Elon Musk's rockets, right? they God only knows what's getting flushed through those pipes every day. Oh my Godd, like drug mules that have changed their mind Glass eyes, fingers. It was the stternams. ground up bones ashes. I'm sure more than a few people's ashes have just been dumped. You're taking your ashes and you', I can't do it anymore. Just dump it in the toilet. We're not gonna to scatter that around Disney. Oh my Godd Yeah, just medical waste. Yeah. no t.. So I went on my kids field trip to the garbage dump here in Austin. Yeah. S, I didn't think it would be exciting until I started talking. dudes that worked at the garbage dump Doid you know how many severed heads they find A lot. plenty. one a quarter There's a severed head or a limb. and yo, they'll find like arm at this dump And then they'll report to the police and then they'll find like the guy's leg or the woman's leg probably in another dump in a different district So whoever it is puts it in different trash cans in different areas. J scatters it around to disperse it That is So it's it's so There's something I mean, obviously murder, dismemberment, it's evil and bad But you do have to respect the amount of work. Murder is put into that. I know your craft. I know Be like I'm, you know, I'm so lazy. I feel like, you know, like the idea of going to a bunch of different dumpsters and I'm always impressed with that like that level of Of of like that that rapper Remember what's that dude's name who like killed his apparently killed his girlfriend. You know I'm talking about which one? It's some singer. They found He was dating an underage girl and they found her body in the back of his Tesla, but hed only like started dismembering the body and then kind of was like, I'm not doing this. and then just David and the Tesla? Yeah. That's him Well, it's four VD. I think people underestimate how hard it is to saw through bones and shit. Is it hard? That's what I've heard. If you have a surgical saw, can't be it's probably hard. Where do you get a surgical saw from Where does one Amazon? Look how surg on Amazon. I guarantee you could get everything you need a disposeable a body on Amazon. No problem. They were have a list He look, there we go. seventeen bucks Pm. Easy, seventy bucks. Now, okay, surgical saw. What else are you gonna need? a bag? Like bag. But the special kind of bag that can handle decomposing parts and the gases and the juices, Medical waste. Medicalte waste. extxtra sturdy medical waste bags U There you go, no problem No proble. Okay, hold on. What about lime? No don when when you spread out on the body? Lime. Yeah, something that like I bet you could just use glade though, but let's look up Gade. Gade. There you go. There you go. fast acting lime. They got everything you need to dispose of a body What This is amazing. What What else? So we got the bags, we got the les. We got the saw. Holy, I mean, you hydrate hydrated lime. And then obvious you could obviously get all the all the other stuff you're going to need before the murder. right The probleblem with buying it on Amazon though is that it's so easily traced to you. Unless you send it to somebody like an ex boss that did you dirty, you can send it to there. address, maybe. Yeah, you could sit it in someone else's house I mean, I'm sure they have all these things that Home deepot Like you just go to Home Depot. That's how a lot of people get busted.' Home Depot. Right. That's the thing is that how do you buy these things undetected? Yeah, you have to be very careful about it. It's interesting What I've heard about manufacturing LSD because All of the precursor materials to make LSD are also tracked. Like if you're buying this or that it probably means you're trying to make LSD So peopleeople will like fly like get different people to fly to different parts of the world and buy The separate materials really then bring them together. So wait, what's in LSD? W you look up I'm curious. now you got me curious. Yeah this is great. lookook up how to make LSD after we just looked up everything you need to dispose of a body Right now, there's some light blinking on an NSA agent's desk. beep beep, beep what the fuck? Oh! Lesergic acid dithetelamide. I know that. but make it bigger. comeome on, we're old. I had my eye exam. It's not good Let's see, LSD is synthesized from the sururgic acid, which is naturally extracted from Ergot, a parasitic fungus that grows on grains like Rye prerecursor comes from a natural source, the drug itself is produced via chemical processing in a lab How is it consumed? How it is come on And we know that. Everybody knows. But I didn't realize it was from U a fungus. Yeah. I thought it was all like man madeade weird. Isn't that cool? Timothy Leary created it or Well, Albert Hoffman did, but the I like that you know that offhand. You like Christina, it's Alber. Albert Hoffman Pull up a picture Albert Hoff. Nobbody knows that J just Duncan P people know that. Albert Hoffman is like A He came up with this. this guy does not get enough credit, man. Look at him This guy we would not have LSD probably if not for this guy who is doing he was studying actually how to induce uterine contractions. They were looking for something that would help women give birth and So they tried this rgot derivative And they apparently, like, you know, they were testing on mice and the mice started acting weird because they were getting huge download got ye They' like, what is the meaning of this? Yeah, ye, they were fully like talking to Jesus and but I think he said they were walking backwards and their hair would stand 'use you the amount of acid they gave those poor mice. God only knows because they didn't know how potent it was. And so they shelved the experiment, which at Sandos's laboratoryies' like, okay It makes I mean, it makes mice do funny shit, but like it's not going to help pregnant ladies. And so then he had some intuition or something and he took it back out again. and um essentially doed himself and that's bicycle Day, april nineteenth. That's what we celebrate. Is that real? Yeah, it's called bicyle Day He doed himself. Could you imagine though, dude? Like you're the first guy to drop acid alone. Like you don't even have like a partner to talk you down where you're like, what the fuck? You got it and you would freak out. He gave himself Apparently somewhere around like eight hundred micrograms. And that is so and this is fresh to the universe LSD. It's just existed. This is like Jesus tears. This is like you know what I mean? This is like getting a drop of Christ's tears off the cross Yes. they call it bicycle D c apppparently was riding his bicycle home And he looked down and he was flying over the mountains And he thought to himself, well I either have died. or something at the laboratory is like this LSD is like baring in. He gets home losing his fucking mind. And remember like you know anyone who's taking acid. around hour six hour seven you're like, I just want to come down Yeah and you know you're going to come down. You people tell you it's nine hours. But you know, we have reference like last maybe twelve hours at the bo. He didn't know he was going to come down His wife was giving him milk try to help them because that's what you give with helping someone So the glass that you want to drink on acid is like glass is like warm Milk, Swedish milk.. So yeah, that's bicycle day Dude, that trip I wonder if you even could relax and enjoy the journey when you're that high and you have no idea when it's going to stop Fuck, dude Oh so aw.'s outside of the mice, it has to be one of the worst trips in all of human history. To the point where when he found out the hippies were taking it recreationally, he was like Why? Like he had such a bad trip. Yeah. He was really confused And people like, yeah, man, let's drip out But it's because they knew that they would come down. But yeah, he's like, he's up there with Oppenheimer. He's up there with. Yeah, because think of how much acid changed the world I know great music, a whole generation. like Dead stuff. No, I mean, like during right like the Vietnam era, right? You an entire generation of people who dropped out of society and were like, fuck this. I'm not doing what my parents did.sight. Let's just go do a bunch of drugs and live on a commune and ye. The Unibomber, the unibomber we got the unib bomber. They're in tests on him at Harvard Yeah, they were doing MK ultra shit to Ted Kazinski and they think there's no proof they were giving him LSD, but they were probably giving him LSD. Yes Isn't there stories about Manson too in his clan that the government was seeding them LST I'm just testing the Hppies, the dirty Hippies, just they would come into like The free clinic in San Francisco. Yes I think. Yes, I read that in that book about Manson that just came Chaos. Yeah, ye, But that's wild. That shit. Shit is crazy, but who cares? What are you gonna do? What are you gonna to do? Well we could be in an experiment right now, right? Oh, I'm sure we are. I'm sure it's al right, Av. Anyway, the point of the story is I saw adult males with these loooo things and I was so confused. And then you came in and mentioned Disney adults. and Yeah, like I just I don't like the infantilization of like Men today it's so fucking gross, dude. Oh yeah. L they're so gross. It's a whole I hate it. series of performative It's like In the old days, flashing, right? There was like a basic way you flash, right? These were the good old days. You get a trench coat and you flash That's how you do it. Everyone knew you were a flasher. Yeah. you're flashing. Maybe you like streaking somehow became like a more acceptable forre streaking so fun, which is just flashy. It's another form of flashing because it's athletic or something. Sure. It's more accepted But now there's these new forms of flashing which is not necessarily showing your junk But it's still goingo to a place you shouldn't be in a performative way drawing all the attention ulcerated written God cursed body and acting like the fact that people don't want you there is a sign that society is collapsing. Right. That's an inversion of the morality behind it too. We're the assholes because we're like not permitting these petos to do their weird shit. There you go. And now you're the dick becausecause you're not letting someone live their best life a Disney adult. Yeah, I'm Look at these grown men with these little dollies. I mean, this he just get his loooo. Look, I just Oh yeah. I right Oh d, hey, look at your kids babysitter. would I would give all of the money I had to keep my children away If I knew there was a way Like look, look at this. It's got the Lubu belt I don't like this at all. No, he seems like he's gonna blow up like a mosque. I don't like any of this shit. Look at this dude hauling out his fucking Laboooo. Look I feel ashamed that I'm just late to this this hatred party. I can't hate this more. Well, apparently they werere putting microphones in Laboooos. You know about that? No good. too find these creeps that are good Terrible things. Is that why Well, ye yeah. I mean, I don't know why. It's like there's obviously you look at these things, they're it's I don't know what you call the like secret aesthetic. you know what I mean? but it is that aesthetic. It's the podesta art aeset or you know what I mean? It's that kind of like I don't know what it is. It's like a symbol. like Hey,'m I'm creep Over here, Yeah, let's do creepy shit together. you and me, bro. L in Wububu weirdly sounds like Bazoozoo, which is like a demon, a Sumerian demon. So it's like, I don't know if that was intentional or not, but You know, the original Wuboooo, there you go, fuck a pazoozoo. Look, it looks like a loooo. That's horrible I hate it. fuck. I can't hate it more. But show u You sent Josh Zolo a really inspiring. Disney adult thing. Could you show that, Josh I am one of these Yeah I wish you could play the music because the music is like Disney adult with anxiety. You mean every parent at Disney. Yeah, like it sucks to be there. So is just for people listening and not watching. It says Disney adult with diabetes is the first lightide and it's got The fucking hand hearts, which I can't hate hand hearts more. I fucking hate hand hearts. It's so disingenuous. Oh, get fucked with your hand fuck off Fuck right off I hate it fucking hand hearts, Put those hands in your asshole. B shit. Disney adult with diabetes, Disney adult with anxiety. Yeah, no shit. everybody. Disney' dealt with endometriosis. Very specific. Very specific. Disney Adult with Pots Disney addo with arectile dysfunction Where's that Dne? Those are the only Disney adults that should be there. are ones that can't get boned. Disney adult with Lupus. Lupus How many of these did this they make I mean, this is the stupidest fucking thing I've ever seen Hybromyalgia, Disney Jesus Christ. Everybody has to be represented right now Autism? No, that's okay. That's okay. I like autistics. They deser it. Migines. I mean, come on. Disney Adult with a cold. Disney Adult with gasff. Disney Adult who's hungry Okay, multiple MS. I feel like I'll let them, that community Do Do the Hart handands, Disney adult? Sure. I mean, their life is hard. Some of these are okay Not all of them Hashimoto thyroid itis. Very specific again. God damn. Everybody gets one. Everybody that's literally every disease Disney Adults with S schizophrenia, Disney adult with a lobotomy just These fucking ners man. read but if you read with a script, this is, I guess the thing that is like bothothers me is like it's like It's not to say that like It's not like I know it's hard. Like we exist in a we exist in a very rough part of time space and our bodies fall apart. Yeah. everyveryone's body falls apart. All of all of us will die Proably horrible ways Alzheimer's Parkinson's, God knows what'll happen to you. It's not that. it's the ennobling or like If you read this, it's some of the strongest people. Disney parks are fighting battles you never notice from the outside.e Everybody's fighting battles. Exactly Exactly what life is you stupid c. Yeah battle after battle after battle. It's like what Like what in the other thing I think we don't like about this is the implication Everyone else at Disney are bullies. Yeah. before these shirts came out, we were like, what, you got diabetes piece of shit. You shouldn't be in this park Right. And if we don't acknowledge them as special, you're a piece of shit. Right, Right. They deserve to have special treatment. Yes. So here we go I've got asthma. Disney addult with asthma, Parkinson's Oh It's cerebral palsy Spine up biffina Sickle cell Yeah they deserve.. I think that's the right term for the Disney adults Isn't that their technical term? Yeah traumatic brain injury. You know. What it's right on the money. Muscular district lymphedema. You know that what it here's what it is. It's like You're just I feel like I need to say this. Go ahead. I am a man struggling. Dabetes Oh my go Do you know what I go through? Dunkin. Do you know I have to take Ozimpig? Do you know what that's like? I have to inject my. It is awesome. It' the best. But you know I'm not gonna define myself by a dude with diabetes or a person with one ball or you know what I mean? I know. you know what I think this is for This is for people that don't have actual battle loans Like you haven't actually been through some shit. Right. Like this is their first rendezvous with bullshit and they're like, thanks they' f erectile Dunkun and you're like, I need a t shirt and a pin. It's like, okay, well let' hang in there ' you're just getting started, bro. Yeah. Life is just a ferris wheel of bullshit. kids You know, it's super cute. likeike would your your kids want a bandaid And even though they don't need the band aid, you know, they still it makes them feel better and it's a badge. It's like you've been injured. And that's that's a kid. That's a kid Once you become an adult, that's what it is You nailed it. this is oh my God. I' chills. Yo, we just cracked like first of all. peopleeople stress shit in airports, I just learned that And this is an adult band aid. You're right. It's the acknowledgement that I have suffered whichich is and also the Surely inststincts can't be wrong. Like the millions of people out there who recoil when they see shit like this We're not crazy. Like there's a there's it's we have to trust our own minds You know, I'll tell you, dude, if I see somebody with endometriosis at fucking Disney and I've done it before, I will kick your ass. If you have I do You're not gonna to stop me I' fucking You better watch out I can', There's yours Well where's mine? I want that. Are these shirts? I need that I mean, I don't want with with is like you still have it. Oh yeah, no, in remission. never getting it again. Disney adult with swollen aging balls that he's not cutting off Yeah, do you w wantanna walk around informing everyone what you've got right now? Disney addult with active Ebola. C hot outbreak. noody should know. Disney adult festering with herpes. Hi, I'm a Disney adult with a bubonic plague Wait, where's the playomorphic Bast cancer Where's the my specific You got left out. You should reach out to them. I bet you got left out. buuck is Aorphic breastcand. So I had Pleomorphic. It was thank God, I can't remember it. Playoomorphic Pinoma sing Testicular. How are you doing with that? That just happened. I'm good Okay, I got my tits reconstructed, I got a fucking tummy tuck, I got a brow lift They just did a biopsy. I'm cool, like bro. I'm I know but the biopsy part. I hated that shit. you're a badass ass because like goo that Part of the thing where I have to keep getting checked again and again, that's the part they stuck with my head. But they're putting needles in your beans, right? That's different. In my beans? Like in your bean sack. Where are they putting the needles? No, they just test, they do blood tests and stuff. they weren't putting needles in my bean. Oh I don't h my beine Yeah. Yeah, okay You know what I mean? justust like paranoia I can they can come in, you know? You're going to die any minute Plomorphic PLCIS is going to add pleomorphic, loobular carcinoma and C two And it was a one percent, like nobody got it. And you were the first person I called You were the first person I called, I just blocked that out. You were my first Pone call I remember Yeah, was that was a really fun conversation. Cancer cllub. Cancer club where' our fucking t shirt? Where's our shirt? We got mine I mean, they Yours you would take up it. Oh there I would take up. Yeah H! You guys are incredible fast. How did you do that? Wow That's the exact font. I know. Th these boomers are blown away by your fucking ability. Yeah. We're like, how does that work? Could you use a computer for that? Rock. We made the last three too. Oh Oh, you did you! Dir dir! So they don't have testicular cancer. Well, they're out they're omitting you. We got to right Wow. they're not Be being inclusive enough. Wow. Yeah. Hm. Well, I'm so happy we fixed this. Listen, I've got my TikToks for you I'm locked and loaded. Are you ready to do these? This is my favorite part. Okay, that's mine too. And I'm looking at the wrong one. I should be looking at this one I don't know why I turn I want to look at the one you're looking at. Yeah, you know As if you don't know, I like to feature the marginalized communities. Yep on TikTok. Here we go. Here you go. This is a wrap about Austin, Texas, Austin, Texas and Travz County. The school district is Austin Independent schoolchool District and it's the capital of the great state of Texas. They have one million residents And the metropolitan area has two point six one residents and millions They have the Austin Aquarium. Yeah an interstate thirty five and lots of highways. eleven. The Austin Steam Train Association Museum is located there. The second street district is there, the Barton Creek Square mall. I was going say Barton Creek. The Domain mall is over there And they have the Austin Zoo. They also have the Capitol Texas Zoo, The Austin Bergstrom International Airport and the Colorado River goes right through it. The Lady Birg Johnson Wildfark. You get the picture. It just goes long It's ten minutes. you know, here's the thing That is how I rap. Like whenever I try to rap, that's what I sound like. It's hard for me to judge it I tryed to do that around my kids and they're like, no, no. I know what you mean. L how happy is. He's the best and he does them for other cities too. It's incredible, White Butz. Let's get him some beats. Y'all. Sbody someomebody should send him beats No he can do it to you. Your mommies, you know what to do. Yeah, I met the saxophone guy by the way, in Brea. So one time as a joke, I was like, you know what this fucking YMH intro needs saxophone. And this guy mailed it in. was you mailed it in. it was so good. So you guys know what to do. Somebody put a beat under the Austin Texas rap guy, please. Yeah. Anway, he doesn't mention Um Terry Black's barbecue, which I feel like should be like higher on that list. donon't you think like barbecue in general? Yeah Yeah, there's a lot of things I noticed he didn't mentioned. And not did a critique, but he miss some important spots He did. He missed some spots. Jeffrey Jeffes's the only spot that I know. He' reallyot Jeff. Jeff'. You Clark's Clark's not a mention of that. Not a mention Yeah tunnels under Austin The bodies in the lake.'s b There are bodies in the lake. I know there's bodies in every lake. Secret serial killer. So cool Okay. well let's let's this is a little dark. Here we go. You and I tend to get like existential and dark. Let's lighten it up a little. All right Well, I am' so tired tonight. I think I'm going to just go on and go to bed for the night, I made my bed up so I could just relax a little bit then go go to sleep. Yeah. Good idea. I hope everybody had a great day. Thank you. And everything. Cheers. And good night. C you later Well, here's the creepy thing you don't know That What you're hearing is the person who's captured her. keeping her trapped in the house and just narrates everything she has to do. And is this is the thing, the thrill that the kidnapper has. Yeah. I'm just going now, looks like I'm gonna put my hand on a hot stove. I'm gonna do that real quick and burn my hand She has to do it. Yeah, that's you're you basically this is just the loneliest thing anyone've ever seen, right? That's what this is. This is it though because Duncan, like you felt lonely. you and I do the road. There's no lonelier place than a hotel room. She at least had the emotional like I isolate and I don't want to talk. I don't want tona be seen.ight. She still wants to be seen and heard in her lonely state, I think that that must mean that she's mentally healthier than me. I'm gonna say no. I'm going to say no, she's not. What? she is not as middle the other. I mean, I don't know. I can't judge this person, but there is something can we play it one more time? Let's just do a quick analysis O of course, of course. J' just break out Okay, pause here, pause here. She's tred, but see there's different there's different cuts. You know what I mean?ike' I' going to say you're not you're not doing okay because youre you're doing a lot of setups Right? You're doing a lot of setups. How many setups do we have? Let's count the setups You got the hallway shot. Can you guys go back? You guys can analyze this better than me because you guys know how to do this stuff, but Oh my good. Let's count the shots. Let's count the shot you're fucking right. Okay. Sot D you do that from the booth? Okay, shot one tripod is here. L, She's gonna to catch herself. The framing is weird. You can't see her right arm, but it gets her out of the frame Okay I'm going now and then I go She's set it up first and walked down the hallway. and you have to ask how many takes. How many times is she like that's not the right walk down my lone l? She did it twenty times. Yeah, at least. And now here we go. This is weird. this angle. she's set up the tripod is set high, pulling the pillows down. You notice the light, that is actually pro lighting. She's got some kind of shit from ify that she can't see it. Because normal people lighting, she would just have some crummy overhead. Right. No. L muted. So she that means that she's like, all right, if I'm going to do these go to bed videos, I'm gonna have to get real We have to look up how Stanley Kubrick light a room So no, she's definitely sa.an you do me a favor. I want you to do a dive on her. Can we find out other things that she narr because she also does other things like Hey, I'm just cooking dinner tight and here's what I'm having for dinner. Can I tell you, I wantan to judge and I wantan to laugh? But then I'm like, well, what's going to happen next What is she gonna do? Like I'm engaged. I'm riveted. What does the bedroom look like? Yeah. What is she reading? I need to know more. This could be a performance artist. This could be some like an incredible sort of critique of modern life as an empty, hellish world Yeah, and her nightstand is so free of clutter. like my nightstand Cffee cups, books, books, books, wipes for my lenses. L it's just disgusting. Okay, let's see. what what? Which one which one are you feeling? It It's my f plans. What's my fidayck it What is my Fid night planer Going straight to bed. This is my planans for theonight. Yeah. I am so tired It's time for me to lay down I feel like she reused the footage Oh no, wait, she' wearing a different colored shirt. Did I By the way, I don't need to cut this off. No. But it just made me think of this off forget. Did you get the thing I sent you, the woman? to thinks that she's married a child No. do you say it's L Bf. Shila Boof L Boof. Shilaoo Loooo. Shila Boooo. Do I put, I sent it to you I've seen it to and I'm starting to think it's I'm the problem because no one's really responded But and I said it to many people, that's it. HF campaign And this is interesting. These are new st. This is anomalous This is anomalous. whatever' going on here, pololice information release, the tigers. ike but sc but you'll notice the picture. it's her with Shia. suuper imposed. but Oh I didn't even know we go up. I want to see the profile She did that. Yeah, of course ye. How did she do that, Dou? I think she used the computer interesteresting. It says not the public figure but shows the public figure. So So scll you know, scroll down, you see eyefaller Scroll down life. Oh, oh, oh, she's Muslim. Now play the hijab she started wearing like you can find pre hijab. She started wearing the hijab, but just play any of these. They all start the same way. I show you it's ten z three PM six I just wanted to let you know. I'm at Kroger grocy store. Oh Kroger. I love Kroger. My moman in to get a few things and we went did our grocery shopping, got everything done by ten. We started to shop at seven AM. Oh that's I'm going be going back and making a video around three PM. So I'm thinking about your love you Cheyenne We both thank you so much. I mean, ask the obvious is Why can't she just send it directly to Because he's he's probably has a restraining order. Like this is this woman is stalking shy like scroll scroll down This is why you don't want to be that famous. I want to really don't exactly because this is coming your way. inevitably. You're going to get this. It's gonna to keep scrolling Yeah cops different people They. And they're concerned that you might hurt yourself or something? Oh dear I'm not Luffone shy L Buff. There's someone that's had their identity stolen. Name Shil Luff. I'm not posting I I'm so sorry, ma'am. That's all you had to say. Oh, I'm sorry, that clears it up. That's all you had to say. I get it Oh Have a great day, man in regards to Sia abuff the clone are the celebrity Oh the clone They're trying to illegally frame me Of course officers. They're trying to illegally frame me and get in trouble because they're trying to criminally frame me and saying that I'm harassing the celebrity. I'm not harassing the celebrity. It's the clone. I'm harassing his clone strange going on. Where my DNA was stolen. Oh. My mother Dana sold my DNA. What's that movement? That was a signal. Did you see what he did? That's a signal. Something happened with my DNA. somethingomething happened with my husband's DNA And we're in a very dangerous situation. S name is Sil B It's not the celebrity nam Shyila Bff It's the clone the g dum fcket piece of shit. The only thing I need to be concerned about is thinking about hurting youself? No, I am notone else. I amm not thinking about hurting anybody. not he about hur hurting anyone? I'm not thinking about s violent myself. No. I am in a lot of danger. I'm trying to I told you I've reported reports in regards to people attempting to try to hurt me and possibly not make me be alive. There's a ton of things that's happening in regards to crime that's happening to me, but besides that, no, these people that are reporting are trying to illegally frame me as a cop is falling asleep. He's so bored. He's like I. Now this is the main thing. Can you just scroll down? It' a fun J keep scrolling, she's cute. She's a blonde. Its just the quantity of these Honestly, this is I do want to say this. because I wouldn't be surprised if Shire watches this show. And I feel like this is a missed love connection Right D I didn't even think about that. He might this I think if anything is going to help this person connect with Sha This is it. God. Yeah. becauseuse he's gonna see this and be like, oh, look, that's her mom. Check it out. Let's see what say hi Hi Sha. Hi S Joris callalling, Hi Doris. and it's nice to see a picture know how we're related. So I'll probably see you again. Do you think Doris has any inclination of what's reallyally happening like No, she seems kind of out of it. but I don't know this for sure because like there's so many videos, it's hard to collect everything's happening But there is tension between her and her mom. You hear them fighting in some videos and stuff Um, Well, I haven't seen this one Good day Duncan, I mean, how did I miss this? I apologize. It's okay. I mean, like I want you to feel seen and validated you heard because you said that people weren't giving you the credit and like I fully commend you. Yeah. I'm so inspired by this. I figured you would it's rightight up your alley. I didn't Usually you are the one, I'm finding things from you. R. And also, right, because of your content, your content trains my algorithm You know what I mean? If you just go through your stuff, your algorithm will suddenly start giving you the craziest shit. You know, I've heard this from people that Follow me or watch my stories of that nature. Yeah. I've heard this. It's kind of It's the best. I'm not sure people would get it. Dude, one of my friends started sending me like videos of crazy people and was like, whyy did it suddenly start showhing me crazy people. I want to say you and Aunt Christinas Gram I don't know. But look, all I know is that somebody will be like, hey, have you seen like have I have like one normi friend And like she's like, Oh my God, have you seen that trend on TkTokQin getting the dance and everyone's wearing tut twoos? And I was like, no, dude. you don't You don't understand how dark I am, like I don't know anything nor I didn't know what a fucking labooot was Right? That is why. But I know about the vampire Lestatte. I knew the new series is coming out. Yeah. Lestatte. You know about the horny cowboy. Horny Cowboy have your eye is glued to this new technological people, which shows us how absolutely insane the world has become You're just looking through this people into the future. know Everyone's melting down. And you know, the other thing is You know, normally, it's a contagion because like somebody's watching like this video of this the lady whoever this lady is the lady who like films herself going to bed And they're like, look at how many views she's getting. Oh yeah, I'm gonna to do that. Yeah. And it's spreads. spreads. That's this is the gift ofa. Yeah. I love that. I could watch this. I could watch this endlessly. In fact, I do. I like I can watch over any normal What did I see? I saw the stupid Star Wars movie yesterday with the kids It was so first of all, the Mandalorian Yeah and the Grog, the Greg The thing is. The Mandalorian, I like the character. But he wears a helmet that covers his face the whole time. So the lead character is that you don't even see the guys mouth or nothing like What kind of acting is this? I can't there's no emotion. It's bullshit Itt even the actor. It can be anybody in the helmet. Anybody in that and you can tell they totally did that because he's not okay. And then the little Yoda guy, he doesn't talk either. So now I've got two main characters. The movie is about two characters, One who wears a full fucking facial helmet And then a little thing that doesn't talk. The Yoda doesn't talk? No. He doesn't speak. He's like. Like he's like a Gremlin And much is Rad, but like guys, somebody has to notote and speak in this fucking yie It's ridiculous. And then they all have a monotone delivery. I don't know if that's like a choice Is that like a character is this is Pedro Pedro Pascali, whatever he's the Mandalorian. What? Pedro Pascal? He's great. How Th how expensive it is to book that guy. You're going to put a helmet on his sweet. That's what I'm saying. Show me this fuck fucking break. You're gonna cover that hunk up. Thank you But the thing is, so he's acting It's very muted because I don't know why. his thing is like, we have to leave the place immediately. We're going to be killed. That's how he talks. the whole are any dorks in there that can tell me why the Mandalorian talks like that Any nerds? isn't I'm so sorry Thankk God. I was gonna fire whoever answered that question immediately. Is the Mandalorian Bobafett Shin that dude? Both that's black. Bbe that's black. No, I know, butt doesn't Don't they wear this? I'm so I should never have said that. This' gonna come back. You realize the Star Wars community is furious with us, right? We've already talked shit about Lab', Disney adults and now I just said the bandalar and it's Boba fet I'm done. It's over. Cceled D didn't know the Manalorian and Voopy are two completely different characters. Thank God Are you so embarrassed? you fucking idiot Why don't you fucking know that stupid I don't know I've been under a lot of pressure l al with you I got intoetrioses, man. You need to put your shirt on and go to Disney. All right, I got a few more to show you. You have time for me? You do, I love you. Okay. you. hereere we go So you think telling me to be fucking nicer is really gonna get you somewhere You got the devil now. Oh no I'm nice compared to what she's gonna be You keep screwing with me Dude, I'm terrified. Fucking terrifying She's about to unleash that lady. Yep G God, zoom in on that face. Can you zoom in on that?ace face that demon. Look at that's wearing Christina P's Pfect red, which is lovely. Thank you so much for representing my lipstick. Looks good Can you zoom in Look at those earbs. guys are those earbuds? I hate when they are the cum drops. I hate when people wear those too. takeakeem off I to especially for this video It's not helpoping you look sinister Wow. againg, much like the guy that's in the blood pool Like if you're gonna commit, commit Yeah. What happened? We can't you guys can make can't phony posters, you can't fucking zoom in on the demon girl. Put the picture in your computer and you should be able to zoom in. C Oh my gos! those aren't earbuds. What is that shit in her ear? Those aren't earbuds. That's holding her ear on It's a kind of cl staple Well, she looks terrifyied. She Shes just got my makeup on right now. I swear gosh she's pretty. My makeup is exactly the same as hers today. She's would you say? She's very attractive. I think the eyebrows are a little dark. I wouldn't have put them in rack. Yeah. She just needs a different brow pencil color Yeah I mean, what are smoking, dude? What do you think about her u I make up I mean, like I literally, I literally have the same shit on right now. Like I'm wearing black kind of winged I see I makeup too and like a red lip. so I can't really shit on that I think she's great.m canan we zoom out zoom back a little bit and kind of watch her one more time I wish you would say who this person was I know The problem with the devil. these private videos where it's just a message to one person. It's like, well, what's the whole story arere you doing something Nice try Nice try. A you think telling me to be fucking nicer is really gonna get you somewhere? dude. You got the devil now. Oh she isist Oh shit. I'm nice compared to what she's gonna be. You keep screwing with me. Fuck, dude, I wouldn't mess with that bed. I wouldn't mess I would not sleep anymore if I saw that. That's terrifying. so scary. can I gott it, I can't. Okay here we go. U here. Oh shit What the f It's so much. It's so much. It's so much. What is it that's it? That's a perfect video. Can you play it one more time? These videos, they're not long enough. It's perfect. It's a beautiful st. so much to know. Mm Wow, wow There's so many questions here, Duncan. Yeah Why the choice to wear a polo shirt in the pool? And it's buttoned all the way up. Okay, first, I think your definition of pool But it's not my definition a pool. That is. That's like a can we zoom out a little bit on that thing 'cause it's not a pool. He could have easily been in some kind of cryogenic, he could have been cryogenically frozen in that shirt and it melted and he's just waking up for the first time. That's true. We didn't think of the full potential Oh that's a tiny box. You're right. He was cryogenically frozen and he just woke up. Yeah. dude, he's been resurrected. He used to be in parliament or something and they froze him and now he's emerging to save the world That's so rad that he caught that though. L you know, when you come out of anesthesia or surgery, like I wish I could see what I look like That's so rad that he could see himself coming out of Ch. historic. Where is he? Wh beautiful place? No. It's crazy, like when you're in a beautiful tourist place like that, you have no idea that there's like a black dude in a polo shirt sitting in it freezer with lot. But now you can know. And that's the best part of TikTok is like now you can know exactly how mentally ill. Every world is. Oh this one's pretty cool. Tell me, you mentioned putting your penis in a fan att the Wilbur, you're going to be doing the Wilbur Theater, june twenty seventh right Consider booking this as your opener Okay It's only about ten minutes longer. That's Okay thought you get the Is isn't this guy? I think I've stumbled upon him because of you, but isn't he kind of like he considers himself a sound designer or something nailed it. And you nailed it and you should appreciate this. It's it's That's what sucks about it us 'cause it's like if you don't appreciate how great this is Can you imagine how long it took him to come up with something detail that I mean, it goes on and on and on to script it I want to read the script. How do you write out those sounds? Yeah Let's give it another Oh w Okay He's coming down now. it's resting. It's building up. Wow This is basically, this is homeless guy music, right? Doesn't it sound like every homeless person Do That is the sound. That's the sound that gets you into your car faster. D shit, fuck, fuck fuck. I'll call you back, I'll call you back. He and you can't look this is you getting to your car from the comedy store. You do like that little fuck dude? mother fucker. and if you look, that's how they get you. Don't make eyeons. If you turn and look as you should, they're like what? Stupid piece of shit. S bothering you G get b How'd you look at me It's the worst. It's that's I think that's why this doesn't vote it triggers that feeling of fear and anxiety in me. You know, maybe I don't get it What he's doing, but it it's homeless guy anxiety. That It's basically just this is probably some kind of workshop for homeless people who want to get better at their Satanic gibber Dude, this is why I'm looking forward to drone technologies. And I know a lot of people are going to say I' Machiavellian here.. But there it is completely feasible. Thankks to the good people at Palanter that we could theoretically have drones stationed on buildings that tune into that sound. and just fly down and carry them away Oh, that's amazing. Wn't that incredible? I wish. Just carry them away. You see them, you hear that sound and then you're comforted to you hear the of a drone coming and just carries them off into the mountains or something Why do we have to? It sucks. It happened the other day checking into a hotel with the heriring and the baby Wait, but do you think as a homeless person, if you had to choose your environment, the mountains I mean, I get why they go to the beach. L who doesn't love the beach? Yeah But I didn't even think about the mountains. That's really cool. because we bring him to the mountains cararry him up to the mountains, you could watch it. I'm thinking Montana, there's a lot of land up there that nobody's using. Here's the good news. thanks to my friends at Palantier, you don't have to think about stuff like that You're just going to look up and you're going to see like somebody being carried away by a drone You everywhere And that's it. They'll take me to the mountains They're not really taking rid of the mountain. They're not taking rid of the mountain. Take theount They don't worry about where they're taking. Not the mountain. Not the mount. kind of would happen here in Austin? Like when we moved here, there were so many more homeless and here're like, What happened What happened? Thow in them m out. Is it keeping you up at night Yes. Where did they go? Absolutely. I'm super worried. I've been I've been I'm like, you know, this is like my hobby. I'm kind of like I've been trying to find out where they all went Did you and Kurt figure it out? Not yet it's a mystery.t to figure out. It's a mystery. We're gonna to find them and we're going to bring them back. Oh, no no don' promise we will find them and return them to Austin. Austin's most precious resource. ridiculous. These fascist fucks taking the weird at Austin. Keep using weird baby we're gonna to bring him back. bring the homeless back. You gotta run on this. People are gonna peopleeople are gonna love this. People we're trying to raise money. go to bring them back Bring them back on we're doing a kickstarter. It's like we're tracking them. We're trying to find out where they where they've gone. We will return them. Will you track them? Wellill you put trackers under their skin? We do your cat like when you get your cat chipped, your dog. Yeah homeless people chipped. So you can keep. We chipurn. We have videos of it. It''s some it's beautiful. You know we tranquilize them and then we get in there and get a chip on them and track them to see where they're going They love it. They love being chipped I mean They love it. They do. They love it. And what's really nice is that they get all that space. There's a lot of space in Texas that's underutilized. a lot a A lot of mountains. Desert, mountains So much space. Okay. this has been so much fun. We'll close on this last t. Bring the homeless back to Austin. Bring them back. We're bringing him back. The other day I was walking with my kid and he's like, dad right around here used to step on human shit What happened I thought we were keeping Austin weird. That's what inspired me. I'm like, we're gonna bring him back. We're gonna bring him back Bing him back I get locked in a cage to sleep at night. What happens if there's a fire? When I'm sleeping under mres B lock we use?ock we use? when I'm in my sleeping cage under the stairs, we keep the side panel unlocked. And using a rear lock is a sometimes thing. We use, communication, constant check inss and sounds fine time Yeah that's that's the worst gimp I've ever seen. That's a fucking fraudulent fashion gimp. We hate gimps like you're not a gimp. You'll never be a gimp. You a true gimp. You know what? they don't ask What happens if there's a fire? Du No real gimp this kind of safety. It's an embarrassment. He's not even wearing a gimp outfit. You're not in a cage if you can get out Piod. Yeah, it's like your dog's crate. like if your dog had hands, it could just reach and then just unlatch it. Like there's no It's dangerous. There's's a room Oh It's a room with bars. If you can get out of it, you're not in a cage. Yeah, this guy's fucking's he's a poser gimp.' it's an entire. You know what? happens if gimp, If my gimp asked me, what happens if there's a fire? which they definitely wouldn't? We had their teeth removed and half of their tongue. But if they ask me that I'd be like you could burn you' burn You burned to dead. That's the point of being somebody's Yeah. You're meant to just like It makes your dick super hard and that's the priority is staying aroused sexually, even if it is dangerous to your being Right priorities straight. Thank you This is an embarrassment. I I this this really is upsetting to me just because The aesthetic, the big, it's like, dude, you're sleepy cage. Fuck your're sleepy cage. Andluck he is the nerve to call himself Hooligan Number eighty seven Yeah G the fuck get the fuck fking bitch just a this is absolutely You know what people like him are doing? they're making gimps. America's gimps are week. and I don't want to go boomer here Gimps, the new Gin Z Gimps They're like this. they don't to put on the leather the inflatable. So say for those of you who might not really understand, can you please bring up an image like Like I'm talking like nineties San Francisco This is the kind of shit you see like during likeere is a real game? A Wednesday. That's a game. Yeah, is fullsome street fair. Like you would just see these psychos These are that's the aesthetic I agree That's what a gimp is, That's what a gimp has always been. Yeah. And look, can you pull up the one you pulled the caged gimp just so people see this? Yeah. Yeah That's how you sleep. You lookook, you're gonna to burn If the house burns down, you're burning with it. Yeah, dude. I don't have time to unhackle you gimp You're lucky to be in my cage And like what a pussy he's worried about we need anything. Like fuck off. Wh cares? Your dick is hard and that's all that matters. Constant communication That's when you take out their tongue. You're like, shut the fuck up Why are you talking? Why are you talking? You could you know or But Well here's what's crazy about it. Like sometimes like an untrained gimp will take their bean can and bang it into the bar. That happened to us. You tolerated that? Yeah. How did they get their hands on the bean can? Yeah, this is the problem because we got a gimp sitter and honestly tred and they were giving him bean cans. You never fucking do that. I said justust don't feed him for a couple of days. He'll be fine. So but he they did that and they left the bean canon and then when we got He started orrible horrible So yeah, we, you know, we did Ey fix. We got another can of beans and we put in that can of beans, I won't say the exact ingredients But let's just say He fell asleep for a long time Because that's what we you have to do. Once they start, it's like when a dog starts sucking eggs, when a gimp starts banging a can, you're not gonna stop. No, this guy's we weing America's gimbs. He's not even in latex I hate that he gets to wear fabric. That's how you should look. That's what you ye, harness. your balls are tied up with a chain, a lock You've got a face mask on that you can't breathe. like that's the essence of this. And I do want to give a shout out to Metal Bond NYC, gay male bondage training. These guys are doing the Lord's work out there. You know, it is we are living in a much busier time and like just I'm not proud of it, but we don't have time to like train up our gimps like we used to Yeah But these guys I couldn't give them a higher rating. I've sent unruly gimps to them And they come back tip tap shit. You guys, you heard him, goo to Yelp, give them five star review Yeah, let them know. Yeah. this is great. Look at this. See what's happening there? It's so great. Can you can we Can we see the training program training by the New York Master? Oh, wow. I didn't real. M Metal boond. He's great. M. Now look Okay. Gim training wenthe Gim lookook, these are this is That's what you're looking for. what I know Oops, I don't know you know we are gonna show that. No, that'll be blurred out Yeah, you need somebody a professional. You're right because who's got time? Look at that. Yeah. perfect, perfect' and it is amazing how. Relaxing it is after a hard day's work to stretch out on your g. Of course. Why else do you get one? And you don't want constant communication. You're watching a fucking show. Yeah, shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Mommy's watching the view. M What if there's a fire You L that Ho That's not how we roll Chirp. This guy's nameam what is this guy? offfficial ammbassador. What is that? Go back to the poser gimp Poser again. Yeah, Chip. what's his fucking name? Chirip. Chirp He's constant check ins and supervision She's a child. this generation. Grow up. Yeah Oh Iid't mean to in on the neck. I mean not no, no, I look, you gave this is positive. We're telling people we're sending people where to go to trade in their gamb. I think is cool Right, right, right. So there is a way to I don't think that chirpP is good there's much you could do with that, but maybe Maybe there's hope That'd be kind of cool. Maybe they would offer a scholarship or you could go up there and like a scholarship. Yeah Oh, wow. Now you're talking. Larned We're into Learned fking to oay. Shut the fuck up guys. Check out Mystery Boys. newew episodes drop every Thursday, eight PM central on Wyoming Studios Go see Duncan at Zany's june twenty fifth, twenty seventh of June. He's at the Wilbur Theater. Your mother is coming to London july twenty second at the Leicester Square Theatre. Get your tickets right now at Christina P. com. Duncan, this was I so badly needed this. like I just laughed my tits off this whole time. Thank you. Please come back. Will you come back anyime. I'll come back anytime you want. This is the best. No, this is the best. I've had so much fun with you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thanks for educating all of us We need what you're showing the world The world needs you. the world needs this. They need to see the truth. It does. Thank you so much. We're doing God's work. All right guys. Until next time, keep your jeans tie and tight. love you, mommmies. Y, Mommy. No, excuse me. Please girl Shes like fucking hell without a girl I got bald head and I'm hornning doesn't make me a bad person into like fucking straight up fucking song Think about her every day every night You're gonna be the most important person in my life. We're gonna be lovers after se F about others think about her. There's nothing wrong with being horny. Everyone's different.s partart of life. Fart of life. Girl need sex I get horny fastl Let' fuck in my bs. I'm gonna a sweat girl I need sex do I get h fast gl this talk in my cs. I'm want to swear girls I can look face fast fast they stp. Bake it gl so I can look sexy fast they stp So I can look sexy f w f I so I can look sexy first from this f T I can look It' fall in love Chine and hardcore zggs