Utensil Utility and Final Thoughts

There's never been a better time to get outside and experience the benefits of nature. Disc nearby trails and explore the outdoors with all trails. Download the free app today and find your outside. Avoiding your unfinished home projects because you're not sure where to start. Thumbtack knows homes, so you don't have to. Don't know the difference between matte paint finish and satin? Or what that clunking sound from your dryer is. With Thumbtack, you don't have to be a home pro. Just have to hire one. You can hire top-rated pros, see price estimates, and read reviews. All on the app. Download today. Hey, hey, you think we can eat every grocery store salsa? Yeah, man, I think we're born for this. This is a hot dog. Ketchup is a smoothie. Yeah, I put ice in my cereal, so what? That makes no sense. Hot dog is a sandwich. A hot dog is a sandwich. What? Welcome to our podcast, a hot dog is the sandwich, the show we break down the world's biggest food debates. I'm your host, Josh Cher. And I'm your host, Nicole and ID. And today we will be attempting to overcome our Jewish digestive genes by eating every grocery store. So also this this is this is what happens. My doctor was like, Hey, you can't have dairy anymore, and I'm like, Aw, and she's like, You can have goat though And I'm like, Okay. So I tried goat milk for the first time. Delicious. Is this your a real doctor or the doctor that told you to stop eating almonds? Oh, this is another doctor. There's another one. Yeah, I'm not the almond doctor. Sh she was like an almond mom doctor. She was an almond mom doctor. They exist. Yeah. I've previously had this is a fun type of doctor, a powerlifting doctor. Who's kind of like you need to keep lifting weights or else bad things are gonna happen. And so I love when doctors verify what you already know to be true. I have another doctor th oh not another doctor, my primary care physician that I um I don't know. I had like a fifteen minute appointment and they prescribed me four things and I felt like that was too much. That's that's a lot. Writing one prescription every three point seven five minutes was like kind of a lot. Four is a lot. Four's a lot. That's too much. Yeah. I mean some of them were like one was like a I like sh Show me the painful bump on my foot. And she was like, it's probably a callus knows like I don't think it and then she like wrote me a prescription for a callus remover. I don't know. It was just You should get a new PCP. I know. And I love PCP more than anything. Yeah, but today. Oh God, what a throwback. Nicole. Nicole today we're not talking about shrim sticks. We're talking about Grocery store salsas. There are so many of them. Um almost as many uh I would say too many salsas to your too many prescriptions that were offered to you in fifteen minutes. What a what a tremendous segue. I don't know if there's too many salsa. Well, today we're gonna find out to see how many of them are so similar. Because Salsa is obviously just Spanish for sauce. Right. Um, but if you go to like a uh Mexican restaurant, you go to like a taquero worth their salt and they have, you know, they might have a salsa bar that has six different kinds of salsa on it. Which is always wonderful. And I love seeing the multivariance of color. I love seeing like A dark green, a bright green, a creamy green, a uh an orange. Oh, you get like a black salsa, like a Chipotle charred chili salsa. Give me a black salsa all day. A salsa roja, like a chili dara, but you know, like all these none of those salsas are the salsa that we're talking about today, right? No, these are all gonna be primarily I would say tomato based medium sauces with a little bit of something. Now that something can be a strong cumin flavor, a strong onion flavor, a strong cilantro flavor, a strong jalapeno fl flavor, maybe a combination of all of those, maybe None of those. I'm very excited to try it. Is this an American not an invention, but like, okay, so this is like salsa jitomate, right? Like a a tomato based salsa is obviously like very common in a lot of Mexican foods. Even getting something like um like a torta ahogada or like a tacos dorados where there's like a very thin thin tomato sauce on it. Almost like a tomato broth at all. Almost like a tomato broth yeah. But like This isn't that, but this also isn't quite a salsa that you'd make in like a mocahete, right? I mean, you could potentially, depending on how long you mocahete it for. Sure, but th this is like a very unique there's something about like the shelf stability of it, because all the stuff you would put in salsa It's not very shelf stable, right? Well You could say that about anything. You could say that about any shelf stable item. You could say that you could say that about jar. Like dried pasta sauce? Yeah. What about dried pasta sauce? Because dry pasta sauce is like it's cooked down very heavily, right? In a way that a lot of salsas I don't think you would consider them to be like There's salsa crude. So there's salsa cruda, which is gonna be like your raw salsa also as like a pico de gallo. Yeah. And then a lot of salsas are actually cooked down too. But they'll be like roasted. No, always quickly, right? I don't know. No, you're right, you're right. Not always sometimes you boil the tomatoes to get the skin off, and then you concasse it, and then you put it in the Blender and then you cook it down more. But there's there's something unique about this style of salsa picante sauce that to me tastes so immutably American. Versus even if you go to a Mexican grocery store, like a uh the great one in uh especially the valley in LA, it's called Vallarta, Thirchain, or North Gate Gonzales is another great one. Or El Super. But you go there and you get their like salsas that are in a deli cup and none of them taste This is not that these are like sweet, they're acidic, they taste heavily of like canned tomato and then you're delicious. We grew we all grew up on them. To be fair, we decided to go with jarred, shelf stable, tomato based medium salsas. Instead of the stuff you get, you know. In your grocery aisle or something that is made in store because You know, in America, not everybody has access to that. Sometimes all you can get is the jared stuff, so let's find the best jarred stuff we can. This to me is all this is like the orange chicken of salsa. You know, it's like a uniquely American product, especially paste picante sauce. Because this is pace this is pace chunky. This is not so this is not paste picante sauce. I was considering getting the picante sauce, but I was like, you know what? We are tasting we are tasting medium salsa. Let's taste medium salsas. Are you just gonna drink it? Don't do that. No, I want to eat it like a gazpacho, because I think you can't eat this like a gazpacho. It is just white people taco night. This is so I could eat this jar with a spoon. Dude, my mom, every time we'd go to Baja Fresh, she would just eat the pico de gallo on the side like it was a salad. It's Shirazi. Pretty much Shirazi salad. It literally is. Um makes what what do you rate this this pace also? Give me your thoughts, feelings, and then rate it for me. To me, pace is the baseline from all From which all like white people taco night salsa and that's exactly what these are. You're so right. This is white people taco night salsa. It's sweeter than I was anticipating. It's so sweet but it's so salty and acidic. It's really a lot of things balanced in one. It's a chutney. It's like a chut. This is a tomato. This is a tomato chutney. Especially if you add like more warm spices in there and like It's a chutney. It's incredible. Whoa. How much sugar's in there? Added sugar? Uh well just sugar in general. Total sugar is one gram of total sugars. Really? For for two tablespoons worth. Yeah, at that point it's hard when you're eating such a small quantity um in there. But it tastes like quite sweet. It tastes like stewed tomato. Sweeter than I was anticipating. To me, this is like the very middle of the bell curve. This is a strong five. It depends if you're considering that a five or a seven. 'Cause I do NBA dunk contest rules where an average dungeon is a seven. I see, I see. You know what I mean? Any fans of the NBA Dung contest? Um I used to watch some some I used to watch compilations. I'm a big compilations person. Yeah. Compilations like whenever I would watch like Cipher's, would you ever watch like the Oh my god, the like the XXL rookie cypher or whatever? Do you know the Tech Nine Cipher? No. Okay. Send me your favorite cipher. Okay. The Tech Nine Cipher. Nothing beats it. Cause he's like up against like designer and like a bunch of other random like rappers that. Technine just destroy them? Destroys them. Yeah he's destroy them. Uh have you seen the there's the XXL freestyle rookie class cipher? And it's like it's like little dicky Yes. It's like Anderson Pack, which Anderson Pack is an incredible musician, but he's not a rapper. And he goes out there and like earnestly gives it his best. And then there's God some There's little different Is there like De Baby or not De Baby, not at all. Oh no Designer. Yeah, okay, so I missed up my ciphers. That happens to me sometimes. But Little Dicky honestly holds his own and he does incredible. No, it not only holds his own, he comes in there and just wraps circles around people, and I don't doubt That he wasn't freestyling, that he prepared whatever. But that is one of the best YouTube videos of designer just going up there. Come on the show, man. Got a great podcast out with uh Benny Blanco. Oh great, how both of you guys come on the show. Come back, Benny. Well shot. Um now we're trying Chalula. Interesting. What is your Thoughts about hot sauces going into the salsa world because Tapatio has done it. Tabasco's done it. Chaloo I think is one of the best. This one tastes Mexican. That tastes like Chalula. This tastes like Chaloo. I mean this This is one Three to four times hotter than than the paste. Spicier than I was intentional. This is significantly less sweet. Mm-hmm. This is heavily spiced. There's like Barble peppers. Is it just chili or is there actual spice in there? Let me see. What's interesting is it seems to not have any Either not have any thickening agents or the tomatoes aren't like stewed down and blended. 'Cause when you stew tomatoes down and blend them, you kind of get a lot of that tomato fiber that can thicken stuff. There's a lot of cumin in it. There's wait, is there cumin on the label? Mm mm. That's what you're tasting, yeah. Heavy human. Heavy salt. I still taste that stewed tomato and there's also a lot of like peppery oh jalapeno's you get a lot of that h roasted jalapeno flavor. This is delicious. This sort of walks that line. It's heavy, almost heavier on the cumin than I want, though. Mm-hmm. Just say what other chilies are in here? There's Arbal. Okay. Hall of Peno and Arbal. So the Arb That is what To me, a lot of these sauces are missing. And that's what I love. Like if I make like a salsa moca jete at home, I love combining like the acidity of tomatillos. with that like huge pepper cake and spice of arbal and then like a dark dusky chili heat, like Wahio or something. Sure. And those are the salsa that I think are like really, really wonderful when you get the dried mix with the fresh. Mm-hmm. And I think that's what a lot of the American sauce is missing. Cholula It it wrote that line really well. That's kinda awesome. That's a great product that exists. I give it an eight. I give it that an eight. I think that's the most Mexican salsa I've eaten in a long time. Yeah, from from the jarred category. From the jarred category, yes. Now this is my flav favorite, late July. Now why do I like this one? 'Cause it's almost always on sale. And that's how I shop nowadays. I buy what's on sale and what doesn't look gross. I'll say this, the texture of it This is crazy, dude. The texture is crazy. You don't like the texture? This looks this looks like Gasfacho. Yeah, and it tastes like it too. Tomato flavor is beautiful. This is a soup. I like it. This is delicious, but it's like a soup. Basil in there? This is salsa? Do I detect a taste? Can I sip from the j May sip from the jar? No. Why? I don't want you to. I want to. I am saying no. Give it back. Hold on. I'm gonna slurp it off of this. Organic dice tomatoes onion jalapeno peppers garlic water Organic garlic, organic dried garlic, lots of garlic. Dr. It tastes like a soup. Spices, pa potato flour and turmeric. Jalapeno peppers, okay. Wait, where do jalapeno peppers come in? Um D after potato flour? Uh no no no. They're like squares. Okay, okay. Okay, very, very high in the onion. And granulated garlic. Wow, it does taste like a soup. After tasting the Chalula one. Why do I buy this? It's delicious. It's a they should rebrand it as As a sip and salsa. As a si as a sip and soup. Delicious. I could eat that all day. It's like well seasoned. It's delightful. The garlic punch is incredible. It's a C. It just is in no way. That's also There's almost too much acid in it. I was gonna say if you took a whole plate of like taquito's or tacos serata or flatos or whatever and you like drowned it in this. I would eat that. That's more similar. Okay, okay, fair. Titos, titos tacos. Fair. Fair fair fair. There's a classic Mexican restaurant in LA that like They're like older than fifty years. Yeah. To the point where they really had to to mold a lot of their food around the current, you know, taste buds of people. So like taco sauce, for instance, the idea of taco sauce was literally meant to bridge the gap between salsa and ketchup. So that's why it's like kind of sweet kinda spicy. I like it so much. Yeah, and I mean that's I grew up eating taco sauce on my uh elementary school tacos and stuff for in the school lunch line. It's like delightful. But it was meant that gap. And so you go to a place like uh Tito's Tacos is a taco legend in Los Angeles. People line up for it. The only thing better than a Titos Tacos is two. Everyone knows the slogan. There are these crispy hard shell uh yell shredded yellow cheddar on there. And they serve it with a salsa and like a lot of it. You get like eight ounces of tomato salsa. Mm-hmm. It's just so watered down. Eighty five percent tomatoes, but you like soak the whole taco in there and it almost soften the crisp of it. It's delicious. This has such a pleasant aftertaste, though, in comparison to the other two. The late July aftertaste, the acid in there. Kinda makes your mouth water and want to eat more. Yeah, in a way that a nice gazpacho does on a on a hot day. I agree. This is a six. It's a four. After tasting. No, because I wouldn't I wouldn't rather have this over pace. If I'm eating chips and salsa, I would get pace over to I'll give it a five, too. I have to give it a four. It's It's a seven on the Gazpacho scale. And it's a four on the salsa scale. Yeah, I think it's a four on the salsa scale, which which, you know, I'm just gonna have to go back and probably not buy this anymore, but that's okay. I really Well I'm how insightful. You know that feeling when you've technically learned a language, but then someone actually speaks to you and suddenly your brain just freezes? Yeah, same. Or lo mismo and español. Knowing a few words like I do in Spanish is one thing. But real conversation is a whole different level. That's why RosettaSone just launched Rosetta Stone Sapphire. It's a new app that builds on their trusted immersion method. But add smarter, more personalized tools so you can actually speak confidently about the things you care about. What stands out is how it's not one size fits all. Instead of generic lessons, Sapphire lets you focus on topics you actually want to talk about, like travel, food, or your hobbies. I have many hobbies including ping pong. And their new chat missions are really cool. They simulate real life conversations like ordering food or asking for directions so you can practice in a low pressure, interactive way and get instant feedback. It feels more practical, more engaging, and honestly it's easier to stick with. Don't sala bibliothek, Josh. Plus you're getting structured lessons, pronunciation support, and tons of vocabulary all in one place. If you want to take your language skills to the next level. Don't wait to try Rosetta Stone Sapphire. Just stop the end to me, Amiga. A hot dog is a sandwich listeners can get twenty percent off their Rosetta Stone Sapphire subscription when they sign up today. You'll get unlimited access to all twenty five Rosetta Stone languages plus all the new Sapphire learning tools. Visit rosetta stone dot com slash hot dog to redeem your twenty percent off. That's Rosettastone.com slash hot dog and start learning a language for real. Hi everybody, I'm Mari Povich. On my podcast, On Par with Mari Povich, I'm gonna sit down with the icons, the stars, and the faces at the very center of today's big cultural moments. With everyone from comedians Josh Johnson, Dan Soder, Leanne Morgan, to newsmakers Don Lemon, Joy Reid, Aaron Parness, and so many more. So join me for new episodes every week because nothing is off limits. Great conversations. They're always on par. Follow and listen to On Par with Mari Povich wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Now let's try the these guys. That's crazy off- This is this is fotty. Fody? Footy fotty, we're not sure. I've never seen this. I don't think I've ever seen this. So this is specifically made for people with FOD map. Mm. Like allergens? Do you know what that is? Uh y yeah, it's like basically anyone that gets an upset tummy, right? It's like for like people with like IBS and SIBO and stuff. The FODMAP diet pretty much elimin eliminates things that can like irritate your stomach. So things like onions, things like garlic. Oh yeah. So I'm really curious to know how this tastes because I know a lot of people that are. But this isn't like in because th there's like low acid tomato sauces for people with sensitive but that's like an acid reflux thing, right? So this is just no onion, no garlic. Paste it. That's pretty good. Again, very tomato forward. There's there's kind of a weird uh bitter aftertaste on it, and I can't tell what it is. Yeah, I mean this is basically if you took uh uh a pace picante sauce and took out the onions. Yes. No, there's a bitter tomato flavor. It's almost like tomato sea, tomato skin flavor. Yeah, why that doesn't need to be in there. Dice tomato tomato puree. Maybe it's the tomato puree. Jalapeno pepper, cilantro, apple cider vinegar, sea salt, lime juice, concentrate cumin. Could be the way that things are just sort of interacting in the jar. I've never heard of this brand before, though. It's really cool that there's a um Like a FOMAP friendly brand that's out there. Low FODMAP, bloat free, and vegan. I'll give it a four. I think this is a little bit tastier than the late July. Do you really? I'd rather have the late July. I'd rather have that nice 'cause I'm going to taste it next year. Yeah, yeah. Take the lid off of the fotty. Or the foodie. Or whatever. It's probably fotty. If it's the Fod Map friendly. Yeah, I think it's fotty. The late July is really nice. It's really nice. Now do you see why I like it? I really do. It was something astringent. Probably the apple cider vinegar. Could be apple cider vinegar. Could be something. Late July. Okay, late July's better. Cumin Cumin's one of those weird things, man, that we so over over index on Cumin in Mexican American food. I agree. I think a more prevalent flavor is like oregano. Maybe well I I'm not a regulan one for the thing. The idea of using um herbs and spices As like the only way to flavor food is like really strange. You know what I mean? Everything else. So like for instance like like salsa chilies, right? Like like do you like I you don't need cumin or oregano in a lot of Mexican sauces. And some of them they're really fun. Especially you get like a mole that's like very sort of hyper spice, but like a mole is meant to be like a celebratory kind of dish, you know what I mean? So cool, but like uh sauces don't like need human, especially when you're working with like Chilies that have wonderful, wonderful flavors to them, right? They help they they help carry the A food story, I think. If they're helping. But I'm saying there's instances where I think they can hurt. You know, especially just dropping cumin into like a random jar also. Do you think human hurt any of these four that you've tried so? I think it would have been better without the cumin. A little bit less cumin. Let the chili darable shine. It's too cumin heavy. It kind of re Cumin to me in a lot of Mexican food. Almost read cartoonish. I see. I wouldn't say it's cartoonish. I think it's excessive. I don't think it's cartoonish or excessive. I would give Fati a three. Now what we're trying now, can you read the label at all? This is Erda Sosa Cacera. Which means how salsa. This tastes like a Mexican restaurant salsa. If you put it in a jar and let it all kind of soften together. You know what I mean? Cool. That tastes that's the freshest tomato flavor I've I've tasted so far. That is a really, really fresh tomato flavor. This is an actual Mexican bread. It's not sweet. Nope, not at all. This this tastes like the salsa that is on the table at older Mexicans in LA. Like you ever go like a like a really like you go to a place called like Just a spot in Orange County, Don Jose that we had. And you have to pronounce it Don Jose. You go to Don Jose's in hunt in H B, dude. Um but like You know, these like very old uh Adobe Mexican restaurants, kinda like in El Torito before they rebranded to El Torito Grill. stuff like that, a lot of their salsa caseras, their house salsa is like The they they kinda taste like that. And they taste more like that than any of the American brands that we've had. My gosh, it's just tomatoes. Green chili peppers. Salt and cilantro. That's so funny. There's no onion in there? No. FodMap friendly. Who would have thought? But but um I I feel the same way about people putting putting garlic in in guacamole. I don't always put garlic in garlic and black pepper. I I just to me need it. I don't know, and this isn't like a purism thing. I know there's a lot of people that put a lot of ingredients and things. To me, man, like It's really good, dude. I give that I don't think it's as good as the Cholula. The Cholula one's just like really freaking awesome. I give Erdes like a seven. Oh my gosh. This is Better than Cholula to me. You think so? Pure it's just pure good tomato flavor. Oh, there it is, dude. Also the acid in there? Pleasant. Wow. I'm gonna give this a nine. Give it a nine? I'm giving Salsa casera Famera's a nine. Also, I have to clear something up. I There's a video uh of there's a sporked video of me saying what I'd spend ten dollars on the grocery store. Uh-huh. And I say, and a lot of people say, Wow, Josh is so out of touch, doesn't the price of things one, that thing was shot like five years ago and groceries have at have gotten literally thirty percent more expensive since then. But I said I said get a can of Air Salsa Verde for seventy nine cents. And the graphic they showed, you screwed me, Spark Social Editor, who I'm sure was RAP fired years ago. But what was the name you remember? Uh Redhead. Uh but anyways. Josh is talking about the can, not the can. I was talking about the can and then they show the jar. The jar's like f 499. Josh is talking about the can. The cans that used to be 79 cents pre-inflation. But then post inflation they're up to ninety nine cents at some grocery stores, a dollar nineteen in others, but they're the little cans. They sell cans of Air De sauce of Air. I was thinking about getting cans, but I'm like, No, we gotta do glass jars. I love cans of El Pato. If you know you know if you shop the duck. If you shop if you ever shopped at ninety nine cents only store R I P to that, the El Pato sauce, I would always grab a can. Do at the at the food bank, we uh we have a bunch of like plastic bags that get donated. It's like, you know, the those little things that you take for granted are hard to get. Um we have thousands of ninety nine cents only plastic bags. And I'm like, ooh, R. Great times. I know. I spent so much time and money at nine nine cents. Dude, same. Well, your dad worked there, so No, my dad worked at an independent ninety nine cents store, not at a ninety nine cents only. We shopped a lot at ninety nine cents only. This whole time I thought your dad was an employee of Ninety Nine Cents Only store. No, he was an employee of Riteaid. He worked at RightAid. That's where he got fired for stealing all the ice cream. My brother worked at Long's Drugs. Remember Long's Drugs? Longs. Oh my God. That's crazy. Okay. This this feels it hardly tastes. This feels performative. Wanna why? 'Cause there's two white guys on it. What are their names, Brad? The salsa twins. I don't know if you guys are actually white. I don't like this, it's very watery. So I think about the wateriness a lot, dude. But it's spicy. There's there's there's a lot of spice, but no flavor. It's interesting. The spice isn't bad. Oh, are all natural sauces made out of the beautiful is made on the beautiful state of the iconic El Pinto restaurant in Albuquerque, New Mexico. I am watching Better Call Saul right now. For the first time ever, great show. Um I think this is lacking in flavor and acid, but Brings the heat. Yeah. I'd give it like a uh maybe a five six, I think. I'm gonna give it a four and a half. You you'd rather have pace than that? Almost every single frickin' day, but it's kinda neck and neck for that. It's um I can one of those things like I bet El Pinto as a restaurant is like awesome, you know what I mean? Sure. I would love to visit the rest also, it's made with hatch chilies, which is special. I love a hatch chili. But I will say a hatch chili is best when it's left as a hatched chili, you know what I mean? It's like the more you can kinda taste it. When once you blend half chilies into a salsa with a bunch of tomatoes and stuff. You lose it. Then it just gets a little bit lost. But you just take fresh rose. You have the Chile? The Chile that uh Uh Lily's mother in law makes? No. Dude, she brought it and she she they get a hash chili, because I think Alex's family's like from New Mexico. Uh uh uh and they get like hash chilies once a year just, you know. free just from family freezer bag and sent out. Uhhuh. And her mother in law makes uh just like, you know, a classic green chile with, like, you know, some onion and Kinda stewed down. Pork? Dude, it's awesome. No, so like just like the The ch the way the the term chile is used 'cause it refers to the plant, but then you say like I made it like a like a green chile. Uh-huh. And it's like that can either refer to just a sort of like Salsa or almost even like a like a paste. Okay. But if you say you made like Chile Verde for lunch. It's like oh that's pork. You know what I mean? Sure. Different ways of way it's just the way culture and language shap shapes your life. Next up La Victoria. Now La Victoria was what I would always consider the consequent like the the OG Mexican brand salsa was always La Victoria. This to me is the uh the gallon brand. You get this by the gallon. Yes, you get this by the gallon at smart and final. You're I'm eating this at a pool party. Oh yeah. This is the best this is better than pace when it comes to pool party salsa. Is it good? It's bad? Does it taste metallic? So bad. Oh my god, I just got chills. We right. Oh my God. Oh my God. My body just grab the pace. Grab the pace. Grab the pace. It tastes so much more like a jarred pasta sauce than it does a sauce. That's so funny, dude. It does taste like pool party though. This is crazy. This is eighty percent. Tomatoes and then Okay, the ingredients on this are gr I've never seen anything like this. Number one. Tomatoes. Oh, the ingredients in the tomatoes are tomatoes, tomato juice, citric acid. Uh and then tom and then tomato puree. Which is tomato paste in water. Santa Fe peppers, whatever that is. Random. Um vinegar, garlic. Yeah, there's there's so so little Uh uh ingredients. So few ingredients in there. Why is it called suprema salsa if there's nothing suprema about it? Suprema that's that's a two, man. That's a one. It's funny how much better the pace is. I would say that La Victoria is good for like um what's it called? No uh it's not pool parties. What is it? Frat houses. Yeah, you get a gallon of that. Love Victoria. You need something to chase your Zins with, like get a Victoria. Could you imagine being in college when Zins were popular? I I wouldn't I lived with I lived with so many Scandinavian people. Oh, yeah. They were just dipping constantly. Not zins, but like proper tobacco dips and I I tried it once and I just felt so sick. Like spiritually and physically. I was like, how are you doing this, dude? Now we're tryo's gourmet salsa. Logan, this is your brand? Yes. Mateos? Let's see. I do love the texture of this. Tomatoes, water, jalapeno, scenantra, red wine vinegar. Okay. Um, I mean pretty much all the traditional ingredients for this does look It's really nice. So upsetting. Slogan is awful. I'm so sorry. The the texture of it. It's Bruschetta. The Tex the the Mexican mushka. I the texture of it's there's something gravely about the texture. Yeah, I'm not sure. I don't know how they've gotten Tomatoes to be that hard within a liquid. It's almost like you ever go to Sonic and you get they put the nerds in the slush and you're kinda crunching through nerds. No, because I love myself. Do you have anything nice to say about it, maybe? I did love I love the way it looked. But the way it tastes I've had listen, the Mateo's red jar, that's good. This is not very good. It's it's like Mexican brushqueta and it's bad Mexican brushqueta. And I never want to eat it again, but for the sake of this podcast I'll eat it again. I seeing the jar and knowing how you felt about it, I was expecting it. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. I felt genuine excitement on a human level. Delayed. Put it away. That's a zero. Oh my god. No, I I have I put a three. I have this above La Victoria. I have this above La Victoria. No, I think La Victoria and Mateo's. La Victor is tough for me right now. They're both a one. Okay, now we're trying tosquito. The most classic. My my thoughts, tostitos are the salsa. When I think about like a jar salsa, two dip chips, and I know I've said various things about all these. But this is sort of the quintessence, right? I think Paste. I I don't know if I have the timeline right here. Pace picante sauce is a little bit thinner than the pace chunky salsa. I think pace had to make a chunky salsa to compete with tostitas. Tastes like sugar. Tastes like sugar. Sugary tomato. It's sugar. It's just sugar, sugar. It is very chunky. It's for the American palate, I'll say that. This and but the but the pace is is more balanced than this. I agree, but Americans like sugar. And listen, man, this isn't also this isn't next to the salsa. Where is this located? This is next to the Cheetos Puffs and the Chex mixes. You're not getting this next to the rest of these guys. This is literally they paid specifically for the space to be next to other chips, not just the tortilla chips, the other chips, like I said, the Cheetos and the Chex mixes. So they know that your pal you like things that are deceptively sweet. You like things that are a little bit like almost too mommy. That your mouth tastes bad, that you need to eat more. Very, very smart. People of Tostitos. I think this is delicious. Again, I'm going in for more because I want to, not because I feel that's the But it's it's such a lateral move from pace. I don't know that I could differentiate. Can I have the pace? Is this our North Star? Kinda. I mean we rated it a five, but I'm I'm curious if these taste any different. I think the tositos is sweeter than the paste. They're so close though. No. No. No, you're right, there's a cloing. It's cloying, but it's good for the American palate because they're like cloying. I give like a four point nine. Just because it's a little bit. You have it above the pace? Yes, absolutely. It tastes better. Get the f out of here. No, you get the f outta here. Okay. Um Okay, wait here, open this and 'cause I I need to talk about the ethnic food dial. Some places still call it the ethnic food aisle. Some places call the international food aisle. But that's better. Some places call it the the some people just say uh uh Asian and uh Mexican and You could uh try and parse through why they've labeled what the way they have. But I will say there's an entire section just in my local Ralphs that says raisins instead of dried fruit, and I think that's weird. This is where all the dried fruit is and it just says raisins. But anyways. It's really interesting, like Nicole was talking about. The Tositos that is below the chips. And the Tositos also have Okay, so and they have a r like ranch dip in eight. The bean they're The bean dip. But it's so interesting when you go to the condiment aisle. And see what sauces and hot sauces they have versus going to the international aisle. In seeing what Mexican sauce is and it's like you don't know where to go. And Even um at my local Ralphs, there's a it's it's the Jewish Ralphs is what people call it, because there's a huge kosher section. Yeah. But there'll be a lot of like Middle Eastern ingredients. And I'm like, Okay, the bad tahini is in this section, the good tahini you have to go to the other part of the store. Right. They have pomegranate juice from concentrate at that section, but Pegranate molasses in that section. Right. And so it's kind of funny in the way that like, you know America is becoming even more and more of like an international conglomerate. You know, uh salsa sales, Sebastian Ketchup sales becoming America's top condiment in nineteen ninety two for the first time. It's been like teetering in the top five behind like mayonnaise and ketchup. Yeah, yeah. Sauce is a big deal. I have to interrupt real quick. So I texted Jordan Meyer that you guys hated Mateos. Because Jordan Meyer loves Mateo's got me on to it. Uh this was a response. It's just That it says that's for Josh. Yeah, yeah, Jordan is uh uh just for the audio only listeners, Jordan is flipping off I believe flipping off me in front of a Mateo's salsa. Is it the same one? It's the same one. Oh. But also more just looks like Jordan is flipping off the salsa sort of uh channeling me. It's gonna be a but j um Jordan message uh received loud and clear. It's not that you're wrong, it's not that we're wrong, it's that there's just so many different So that's Latin for whatever floats your boat, honey. Um on the border. Hate the name. Calflotus Botis, brute. I hate the name. The flavor's pretty good. I think I'll give it a seven. Really? has a cumin, it has sugar. It has a strong tomato flavor, has ch has spice. It's just Middle Eastern. The human. And what's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong. No, there's nothing wrong. It's on the border. It's on the border of Syria and Lebanon. That was a good one. Thank you. You make me laugh. Um I I'd give this a three. I don't I just I give a seven. This to me is I think they have made the wonderful a little bit. Um, they they've taken the wonderful, like sugary, acidic, salty Hasten Tostito's format. Can you eat it with a chip? Just have an open mind. And then they've kind of I do have an open mind. I have opener. I have such an open mind. More opened. Just eat it. I'm trying to get the chunks. You don't like it with the chip? It tastes better with the chip than the chip. If I had uh just an open jar of these and a bowl of chips, nothing would stop me from draining any of the Or a rotisserie chicken. Actually, yeah, a rotisserie chicken. Okay. Next up, these are Josh. Josh literally was like Oh, you're holding the the okay. Well so this is this is Casa Martinez, which is my favorite shelf stable jarred salsa brand. Mm-hmm. And then this is their their salsa quemada, which is like Which means roasted. Yeah, yeah. Which is like means rested? Well I know it from lecha quemada, which means burnt. It doesn't mean smoke though, right? It means like I know quemada as I'm sorry. That texture is really weird. Yeah, this this is thicker than I remember. Oh my god, is there Xanthem gum in there? Oh my god, why does it have that Oh my god, I'm has like a pool. It has like a weird like uh Is this right? Like gelatinous pool Josh. It has like a weird gelatinous like uh feeling to it. Thees good. I mean the taste is very nice, but the textures something's going on. Yes, just straight cornstarch. Oh no Casa Martinez. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. No, I love them. Because this is the one that I actually get. This is a Chipotle salsa. Josh asked me to get the thing. I'm sorry, I hate disappointing people. You did a disappointment. This is all your day today. This is awesome. Now, I don't think it's fair necessarily to Put you sauce against these like salsa rojas. It does taste good it tastes fine. It's kinda boring. Did they like Josh, I'm so sorry. Is bad. Not to say that mine is any better 'cause mine tastes like a spacho. Yeah. Maybe there's like maybe we've learned that Choice of salsa. It's really personal. It comes down to nostalgia, it comes down to personal preference, because I love this. I think it's the best tasting thing in the world. Really? Yeah, yeah. I think you're lying. I swear to God they added cornstarch to the case. I think you might be a paste man, and you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. I ain't like those shitty slickers that come to Texas. I eat real salsa like peixe picante sauce. There's nothing wrong with liking paste picante sauce or paste salsa. You're just it's just white people taco night. And you know what? There's nothing wrong with that. Why people talk on night serves its purpose, and so does pay salsa. But ultimately, I think our winner in terms of the highest aggregate. I think it was a tie between Air Des and Chalula, but I'm willing to give the nod to Air Des for being the most classic salsa. Air Des Your salsa Casera is wonderful. Air Des You do wonderful work. Big fan. I'm gonna crown it with a chip. Instacart is more than a grocery technology platform. It's really about making your life easier in those everyday moments that can start to feel overwhelming. It connects you to thousands of stores across the country, so you can get what you need without adding another stop to your day. For me, it's been especially helpful during those in between times, like when I'm coming home from a busy day at work. You open the fridge and there's basically nothing there. But the last thing you want to do is spend an hour at the store. With Instacart, I can build out my car with everything I need and not feel like I'm sacrificing quality just for convenience. Isn't that the best, man. I also like that I can leave notes or message my shopper if I want something picked a certain way, which gives me a lot more confidence in what I'm getting. You know how much I like overwrite bananas? Leopard spotted man, I want a m I want a brown. And the convenience really makes a difference. Instead of rearranging my schedule or putting off groceries altogether, I can order through the app and have everything arrive when it works for me, sometimes in as fast as thirty minutes. Instacart brings convenience, quality, and ease right to your door. So you can focus on what matters most. Download the Instacart app now and get groceries just how you like. Every get together chill. This Memorial Day get up to an extra $100 off select top brand appliances like LG. Plus get free delivery at the home depot. Tackle pool towels and camp laundry with a large capacity washer. And host in style with the fridge serving craft ice. Mini craft ice, cubed ice, and crushed ice. Shop appliance savings now through June 3rd at the Home Depot. Offer valid May 14th through June 3rd, US only. Free delivery on appliance purchases of $998 or more. See Store Online for details. Alright, Nicole, I've heard you and say it now sound find out whether it's rattling out there and nearest time for a second when we call opinions and like casserole. Josh, be serious. We're not wearing headphones. That's on account of the fact that we can't get the headphones to work. That's okay. Also to address Nicole's accusation of me not taking We started this podcast what, six years ago? Yeah, you should still be enthusiastic and enthusiasm. It's about the fact that media has changed We now know that you don't need uh to tell people constantly what you're going to do. And you just do it. Before you do it, you just do it. That's actually like a huge thing that has changed in media. You know what I mean? Or it's the opposite, where you have to tell people Hey, there's about to be a trailer for a movie. Please don't leave. Please stay and watch the trailers little trailers for the trailers. But I think in terms of a lot of the videos that we do now, they used to be the idea of like you have to explain everything and then now you've learned that like I think you lose people when you explain it. Now I think people can get the context clues. Have we lost statistically we've had over a fifty percent churn rate in the last three years. Oh, is that good or bad? You said churnray like it's bad. Let's get to that first I think. I'm serious, I don't know if it's gonna have. What your water my name's Philip uh from LA. I don't cannot sleep right now. And I just Thank you. Any savoury dish is made a hundred times better. the addition of garlic and or onion. I can't think of a single one that would not be better off. Either of those. Included. Uh love the show. I can't stop listening to it. Oh. Love y'all. Peace. Oh me too man. Thanks. You need to pop three melatonins and go Nine eye though. I I like his gravely voice. I want to see him do like a sort of alt rock acoustic set. You should take a bath with lavender oil. I think you should sing an acoustic version of Black Hole Sun. Lego R I P Chris Cornell. Love you. I've been to his grave. Why? Just moseying about. No, he's he's uh buried at Hollywood forever. Oh, okay. I was like, then I was watching Empire Records then. Some people like to, you know, go on walks in graveyards. I've never been that person. Oh, I Can not even imagine doing that for fun. Oh, it's self I spirits overwhelm me too much. No, I love it. I feel very at peace. I let me tell you. I think I have like a we you're not gonna believe me. I have like a weird uh connection to like the dead, so much so that like I stay away from like the concept of it. Core. Okay. Biscuits and gravy. Love onions if biscuits engaged. Garlic? Do you say garlic and or garlic or? I think allium in general. Onions and white gravy? Yum. Onions and white gravy. Yeah. Garlic now. It could it could like a little bit kill you. There's there's stuff that too much onion really hurt. Oh, I think Well So onions and t in in an uh a pasta sauce. I think they're like cooked w right or well, yes. But even just like I don't think onions add anything. Garlic certainly does though. I like onions and tomato sauce. But this this is a very Italian thing to not add garlic and onions in the same dish. A lot of Italian dishes they say garlic or onions. That's not to paint with too broad of a brush, but that's a lot of Italian chefs that I've I've heard. Oh whereas in America we're like garlic and onions constantly, and I think they're certainly a wonderful combo. Now if you are sensitive to Bloating, if you have SIBO or IBS, you don't eat those things. The FOD map. What what what dishes would be like made abjectly worse by adding garlic and I'm not sure. I am on the same boat as our friend Philip here. I've no idea. I can't even think of a single dish where onions and garlic would not Make it taste better. Yeah. Ju Julia was out of town and so I did the little hyperfixation thing where we had a leftover uh where I just I'd cook the same meal like six days in a row. Oh yeah, you'd do that. Um in an effort of trying to perfect it. But uh w we had a loaf of rye bread left over. So I said, uh Yeah, we're making patty melts every day. Yeah. Uh gr ground my own beef to that whole thing. And at first I was like I want to uh do like a caramelized onion, but make like a caramelized onion mushroom kind of marmalade. Yeah, make it deep and savory or whatever. I thought about adding garlic and I was like no. Garlic is, I think, going to take away from the headiness of the mushrooms. Exactly. Yeah. It's gonna add a wonderful garlic flavor, but I'm I'm chasing mushroom umami right here. And that's fine. You know? Yeah. And so like there's there's ways to add to to use your judgment. But also, yeah, I think the the American way to cook too is very just like chuck garlic and a lot of things. But I will say this, they did emphasize savory dish and I think the caramelized onion mushroom concoction you're making has a sweet note to it. Sure, but but also like the But I would consider it to be a a sweet savory condiment almost. I w I I want to think of a food where if you add either garlic or onions, it would make it make it objectively worse. What are foods Uh on The burritos. So good. Yeah, well, I need these are wonderful those. Um I curry needs it. Curry, yeah, yeah, curry. Well, yeah, fideta, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Um Uh oh, like a orange chicken. Onions and garlic and orange chicken? Yum. Yum. Like I'm almost trying to like make Filipino garlic rice. It's hard. You know, it's yeah, it's wonderful though. But like yeah, I think I'm like really like chicken oniony chicken adobo with garlic rice. Oh my god. Oh my god. Sometimes I just I don't sit on the couch and eat ever. There is something about sitting cross legged. Eating chicken adobo with your hands like and just like gnawing on it with like the like the sopped up rice that like chicken adobo is the one food I eat on the Bizarre. That's not a good couch food. You know? No it is spiritually it's a good couch food. Technically, mechanically. I make it no no, that's not true. And I do bone and chicken. She's not like a piece of pizza. That's easy on the couch, you know what I mean? I hate eating on my couch, but the one food I will eat is chicken adobe on my couch. I can't think of anything. I've cracked my brain. And I feel like there's gotta be Congratulations, you're right. Go to bed now. No, garlic's big One more, one more, one more. My wife has the opinion. Moons are completely useless because like can't Can just drink. Well. Yeah. Nice. That is the logic we want to see to buy, then we don't need utensils at all. Because what you can't drink you can just eat with your hand. It'll be Nazi. But you can do it. Why is it your wife calling it? More convenient for eating. Even if you can eat them with a fork. And I wanna hear what your opinion is on this. It's fascinating. One, I feel like I love you and your wife's dynamic. Uh this uh we were d Nicole and I were just talking about influencer drama and I was talking about how uh me and and Julia we don't talk about any of that 'cause she has no idea what's going on. She just wants to like paint and teach our cats how to do tricks and I love that for her. You know, and then we have stupid discussions like this. Um stupid any any argument whose crux lands on forks have more utility than spoons, I simply can't abide by. So I fully am on your side. I fully disagree. with your wife. I love the thought process that she's coming at this with though. Uh anything you could spoon you could just drink. And then you kind of flipping that logic and saying, Well, anything you could fork, you could just eat with your hands. But who wants to do that all the time? I agree entirely. So so certain um I guess what would the utility of a spoon be? Something like rice. Right? Something like rice that you you can't just just drink. And you could say, Well you could eat rice with a fork, you could eat rice Chopsticks? Uh what about something like Persian rice? Impossible. Impossible to eat with chopsticks. Fork, you you can do it. It's not as good. You can see it's just through the tines. Yeah, but not like that much. No, not that much. But like I would rather use a spoon for that. I think the Filipino method of using the backside of a fork to scoop onto your spoon. That's the Filipino thing? Uh I I believe so. Filipino sound off in the comments, but the old fork the old uh using the fork exclusively to get food onto the spoon. I think that rules. Um, but I have long been a proponent of Chopstick and spoon combo. But I I I do want to see how far you could get. With just hands. And drinking. 'Cause I think you could get very far. I think you could get far too. I just don't want to wash my hands all the time. I'm not a bad thing. Do you not have to wash your hands after every meal you eat? What? What did you ask? Do you not have to wash your hands after everything? Not all the time, no. Sometimes I just do this. No way, wait, look. You eat a meal you're washing your hands after, right? No? Why? Just use a napkin. Yeah. A wet nap? There's not a single unless it's a smoothie that I've drank, which one point for drinking. Um but There's not a single meal that I've eaten. In maybe my life where I haven't fuls my hands afterwards. Not for cleanliness, you know me. I play it loose. I'm loose, man. Is it the textures on the road? No, I'm f fing filthy. Because you use your hands. Yeah, that's how I eat food, man. I'm up to my wrist. Not everyone is r wrist deep in juice like you are. That's a you thing. What what uh I'm thinking like dinner t dinner tonight. Meatballs. It is, yeah, yeah, yeah. Meatballs cooked in the kind of Romescoli things. And then I made a kind of like carrot y rice. I just had a bunch of carrots and bell peppers to get rid of. So kind of like spiced turmeric carrot rice. Okay. Um then some steamed broccoli and I'm thinking like This is all forkin' fork and spoon food. You know, you have wet sauce and a and a kind of loose rice. Surely Josh isn't gonna be covered up to his wrist and juice, but I am because I have steamed broccoli florets. Were y you said you were raised Montessoriish? Yeah. But I was also just more so than that, I was raised by like a schizophrenic mom with no rules and I had to figure out society by myself. Because you you like to touch your food after you eat it. I love touching the yeah. And I'm wondering if that's related to baby lead weaning that your mom probably did with you because of Montessori, because that's like a part of it. And you used to like touch your food after eating it, she would just leave it and you would just touch it all the time. Maybe it was that I was starved for human touch. And so all I have is the touch of food. I'm not trying to psychoanalyze you. It's just again Everything I see is through the lens of being a mom now, right? So like I'm I'm feeding Eve solids and I put food out for her and I let her Absolutely touch it all over and rub it on her face and get familiar with it, right? No, that's how I that's how I've always men, yeah. Okay, so I'm thinking there's maybe a correlation between you eating and then finishing your meal by f by putting your fingers all over it. I think so. Probably because that's maybe what you did when you were a kid. Maybe. 'Cause I'm I'm I'm getting those broccoli florets and I'm touching with my hands. I'm squeezing them, I'm dipping them into stuff, I'm eating them, I'm sucking my fingers. Yes, yes, yes. You know what I mean? I wouldn't be surprised If there's some sort of correlation with you. Having that Ground. And you right now being filthy after eating everything. You know what I'd like to explore? And maybe there's a sort of Andy Warhol type video we can do on this where we just showing up close to my face. But just eating a whole bowl of spaghetti with my hands. That's not that weird. Yeah? Yeah. There's nothing wrong with that. You know? I I'd like to do that, 'cause that's how people used to eat pasta. It can be a hand food. It can be a hand food. You ever had Pastina? It's like melante. It's uh you're eating like b biryani? With your hands? Of course. And you just squish it. Dude, are you kidding me? I literally whenever I feed Eve, I just put it in my hand and I just put it out like this. Like, you know how you use your thumb to push it? Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I just go blump. I love to me that is the best way to eat food. You know? Yeah. And so many ba you know Anyways, you're right, your wife's wrong. You gotta get a divorce now. Sorry. Have fun on the apps. I've heard their nightmares now. I don't think everything needs to end in divorce. I think your you and your wife can have different opposing opinions and still Share a beautiful life together. I think you can as well. On that note, thank you so much for stopping by a hot dog is a sandwich. We got new episodes out every Wednesday on our YouTube channel. We have our own YouTube channel. Subscribe to it. You should if you have nothing else going on. Subscribe Nicole gives you a dollar. Well she'll give you a rebate. She'll send you a coupon for a rebate. This is not Nathan for you. Up to a dollar. This is not for you. That's all everybody talks about drinking this. Yeah, a great episode, but we will not be I will not be doing any sort of rebate service. I don't do rebates. What am I, T Mobile? And if you want to be featured in opinion's identals, hit us up at 833 Dog Pod 1. Can we talk about T-Mobile's glow up?