Time Tracking and Daily Routines

This is an IHart podcast. guuaranteed human Hey listeners. Thanks to Suja orrganic cold pressed juices and shots I don't feel like I need a twenty step wellness routine to feel my best They have something for whatever you need I'll grab a gen juice like Mighty Dozen on busy mornings when I want easy nutrition or burry lemon gut health in the afternoon for a pick me up It tastes great and has probiotics and even prebiotic fiber which is what we're all looking for these days get real wellness from functional super ffoods Not from a trend your algorithm is pushing Suja's powerful cold pressed fruit and vegetable juices and daily wellness shots prove you don't need a wellness retreat to feel like you took one Sip and let the superfoods do the work the fads se wellness that actually works cold pressed, organic, and blended with benefits. Suj, orrganic This is Laura Vander Kam from Before Breakfast A good summer morning starts at the same And that's where hello comes in pace that brightens your routine And brings a little yay It's here every day Some days you may reach for Hello' anti plaque and whitening toothpaste where Tartter doesn't really stand a chance Other days, it's the Hello Vitamin C whitening tooothpaste See you later, Staines Thoughtfully designed with no SLS, dyes or artificial flavors ese toothpastes are a no brainer to have on hand this summer Find your everyday Yay with hello Shop in store or online at helloroducts. com Hey listeners. We compare prices on so many things in life I know I want a good deal on my flights and hotels Why wouldn't you compare prices for your rides? Taking a few seconds to check lift can save you money on your next ride. Rides share prices can fluctuate constantly based on traffic, events and weather You don't want to pay more than you need to So if you and your crew are trying to get to the next stop on your big night out Just get in the habit of checking lift. to see if maybe you'll save enough to covered dessert. s talk about a great way to use your time. and enjoy your night Save money Check lift Welcome to Before Breakfast A production of IHart Radio morning. This is Laura Welcome to the Before Breakfast podcast Today's episode is going to be a slightly longer one, part of the series where I interview fascinating people about how they take their days from great to awesome and any advice they have for the rest of us. So today I am delighted to welcome Alison Shepherardck to Before Breakfast. Allison is the founder of Elevate Eetiqute, She is the author of Was it Something I said? So Allison, welcome to the show Thank you. I'm delighted to be here I am so happy to have you as well. Why don't you tell our listeners a little bit about yourself? Thank you. My name is Alison Shehepardak, and I'm the founder of Elevate Eetiquette, where I write and share about etiquette for your life, work and love. I also teach international protocol and executive presence. I'm a former attorney, former TV news reporter and anchor, and that's some of the experience that I bring to I work today doing a lot of content creation, speaking, and writing. Wonderful. And I'm sure very we're curious how one becomes known as an elevate as an etiquette expert. I understand, you've had quite a varied career. I mean, you were At the White House You also were an ice dancer. I mean, we've really really been all over the map Oh, thank you. So It started when my husband and I were engaged to be married and I realized I had all of these wedding etiquette questions that I didn't know the answer to, like does every cousin get a plus one or how do I address this envelope? And so my mom suggested that I get my first etiquette book, and I did. And I got that book thinking that I would just lookip to the pages that had the answers I was looking for And then I found myself reading that first book cover to cover. And then I was working as a news reporter. I ended up going to law school and practicing law. and I kept learning about etiquette on my own time, reading books about emotional intelligence and protocol and etiquette, and then I decided to get a certification in British and North American etiquette to teach it, not necessarily thinking that I would teach it, but it was something that I thought would be really enjoyable and I saw it just like a non conventional personal growth opportunity for myself. And then it was while I was in that program that I was surrounded by other people with these thriving businesses around the world and protocol and etiquette. So I saw that as like proof of concept. And then I started posting on social media and It resonated with an audience pretty quickly to a point that I confidence to keep going Wonderful, wonderful. So I think a lot of people have some misconceptions though about etiqute. I mean, I think if you ask the average person, what is etiquette, they would think it's, know, which fork do I use? And there's some element of that But I think you would say that it's more about one's soft skills. Is that correct Absolutely. And there is an element to your point of knowing like which is your breadplate and which is your water and how to navigate a formal dining scenario, but that's not the point. The point is not to show off that you know which fork to use in a given scenario. It's to make it like muscle memory, like for athletes, like something that you don't need to think about so that you can be confident and you can focus on those moments that matter and the connection and make what might not be, you know a very civilized moment of eating what was once an animal or you know, something like that into a more pleasant civilized experience And it's definitely most importantly, about like kindness and honoring other people well Well we definitely want to honor other people and be kind. And part of that is about how we make conversations. I know in your book, was it something I said, You devote a section to better small talk I wonder if you could give our listeners some advice on how to make better small talk Sure. So with small talk, I recommend whether you're going to a high school reunion or you're just going about your daily life, I recommend having some topics that you're ready to talk about with pretty much anybody. The things that I recommend staying away from are money, sex, politics, religion, and health status The sneaky one in there is health status because sometimes you can be talking about your diet or your exercise routine and it can almost come across as like a religion or like you should be eating or exercising the way that I do. So that's a sneaky one. but in general The idea here is not to think about like what's impressive and what's going to make me sound really smart, It's whats something that I'm genuinely interested in that I can speak to for a little while, But I also think that these other people that I'm speaking with are going to be interested in talking about two So that leaves plenty of room for lots of things like your hobbies, sports, anything you've read, listened to, watched recently that you enjoy traditions, something you're looking forward to, music, performing arts, food, restaurants, travel. the list keeps going and going. So just Family friendly things that you're comfortable talking about are great Do you have a favorite question you like to ask people in small talk situations So it depends on the crowd, but I like to ask people how they've been spending their time lately for If I'm at a party, I like to ask people how they know the host or what brings them there. or if you're ever feeling really stuck commenting or I don't like the word stuck, but if you're ever feeling like you don't know what to say next, Commenting on things that you're experiencing together with other people. So whether it's like the architecture or the flowers or the food that are part of an experience like at a wedding reception, those are great to talk about too And how does one politely exit a conversation? Let's say you're at a, you cocktail party or a networking event and obviously you don't want to monopolize people's time, you want to talk to lots of people. What's a polite way to exit a conversation? To start, remember that when you go to a cocktail reception that your responsibility is not to talk to the first person that you see for the whole rest of the evening, but for some reason, it can feel rude or wrong to separate yourself. but feel empowered to know that that's not the goal or that's not the expectation. mixing and mingling is actually more polite as a guest. so know that and then be really present in the conversation. So use eye contact, be nodding, talking with your hands, showing that you're paying attention. There should be a give and take. so you're asking some questions, you're answering some questions. It doesn't feel like a one sided interview. And then very clearly wrap it up. Clarity is kind, ambiguity is not, and you certainly don't want to lie. So you don't want to say like, I'm going to run to the restroom and I'll be right back, I'm going to refill my drink. can I get you anything when you really have no intention of returning? Instead say, like, it was so wonderful to see you. I'll look forward to seeing you. I think we'll see you next week graduation or something like that, or say, I hope you enjoy the rest of this evening. It's great when you can say, I really enjoyed talking to yourom. I'm so glad we could catch up and then insert specific facts about what you talked about so it shows that you are paying attention. And then if you can, you can introduce someone to someone else if maybe they don't know as many people. and that can be a way to start a new conversation you can then step away from, but you don't need to do that. Those are just some tools that you can use based on the situation Excellent advice. We're going to take a quick ad break and I'll be back with more from Alice and Shepherdck Hey listeners. My mornings are busy. I need simple routines. Along with my coffee I choose to start my day with Suja's mightighty dozen Green juice. It's an easy way to get fruits and veggies in first thing. without having to think about it With Suja orrganic, you get real wellness from functional superfoods Not a twenty step morning routine you'll abandon by Wednesday Powerful, cold pressed fruit and vegetable juices and daily wellness shots Prove you don't need a fancy wellness retreat to feel like you took one. they really have something for everyone I like berry lemon gut health in the afternoon or a wellness shot like immunity turmeric pineapple, when I'm traveling and need a boost While your algorithm might be begging you to try the latest trend Suja keeps it simple. No gimmicks No fads Just wellness, that works Real wellness doesn't come in trends It comes cold pressed and blended with benefits bit Enjoy it and let Suja do the heavy lifting. Hey listeners. We compare prices on so many things in life I know I want a good deal on my flights and hotels Why wouldn't you compare prices for your rides? Taking a few seconds to check lift can save you money on your next ride. Rides share prices can fluctuate constantly based on traffic, events and weather You don't want to pay more than you need to So if you and your crew are trying to get to the next stop on your big night out Just get in the habit of checking lift. to see if maybe you'll save enough to covever dessert. s talk about a great way to use your time. and enjoy your night. Save money Check lift Hey listeners. there's a lot of noise in the business world today. Leaders like you need clear insights from professionals you can trust. That's why truist security is created navigating beyond the expected podcast built for decision makers who want clarity in a changing market Every month, you'll get expert perspectives from corporate and investment bankers who are helping clients tackle important challenges. Hear how leaders across industries are adapting to new technologies. making smarter decisions and strengthening their ability to grow and secure critical capital practical advice that cuts through complexity for leaders who need to know what's coming next Subscribe at truist. com slash Beyond podcast That's T R U I S T com slash Beyond podcast Copyright Truist Securities Incporated. Member FenRA and SIPC talking with Alison Sheparddeck, who's the author of Was It' Shing I Sid, A sought after etiquette expert. It's a little bit of a mouthful to say there. So let's talk a little bit about Business meals. What tends to go wrong in these situations? And I know a lot of people feel awkward, especially if they're new in their careers, they're eating with people maybe from other organizations or different levels of their companies. What are some tips for having a good experience here I would start with what to order. So if you are having a business meal, if you' the one who is fllitting the bill, like let's say you're having a client out lunch, make sure that you're really clear on the budget that you can allocate for this meal and that you're not going to blow the budget if the client happens to get something that's really expensive. If you are the person who is trying to decide what to have on a menu, generally getting something that's mid range. So not necessarily like the Wagu beef and caviar, but also not salad as your entree, you know at a dinner kind of situation, middle of the road is best. You also want to be ordering things that are easy to eat. So French onion soup might be a better meal for a date night than a job interview and things that You don't need to eat with your hands are better because often in a business meal you might be shaking hands with folks. So that's something to keep in mind. And you never want to come across as though you're taking advantage of this opportunity to indulge on, you know, and this is the case, whether it's a business meal or any meal where you're not paying for the meal yourself. you want to be really conscious of that and also be prepared to think to talk about things beyond work And generally, if you are the one who is being hosted, let your host be the first one to bring up work Sometimes it doesn't happen and you know dessert is coming and you're wondering when you're going to talk about the thing that you were thinking you're going to talk about for work purposes. But if you are the guest in a business context, it's nice to start with some of those like family friendly topics that we were talking about before that are good small talk topics I'm curious, is there any polite way to eat a burger? I mean, I wouldn't order a burger on a job interview, but is there any way to do it and look dignified So you can cut it in half and the internet is definitely divided on, no pun intended on this. but if you cut a burger in half and then eat it like a sandwich, it can be more manageable Okay, so things aren't falling out everywhere. You have a list in your book of things to say when someone shares good news Some examples of things of ways you can sort of nicely celebrate with someone and maybe some things to avoid. Can you talk about that with us Yes, thank you. So so often people can be really excited to share something and then they can feel deflated by the comments that they receive, even though that's not the intention. So things that not the best to say when someone's celebrating something are like what's next? Like let's say they just publish a book or they just, you know, graduated and it's like, well, what's next? And it's like, Well, I'm just trying to enjoy this present moment and this present success before I talk about the next season or saying something like betterter you than me, or saying like, are you sure you're ready for that? or anything that kind of inserts And any sort of anxiety about that next season. So instead saying something like, how are we celebrating? or I'm so proud of you or you really worked so hard for this or it couldn't have happened to a better person, or you I can't like all of those kinds of things are much better. And you also don't want to make someone else's exciting news about you So making sure not to say, oh, that's great that happened to you. Here's the thing that happened to me, right exactly, or like if someone maybe achieve something that you once achieved, making it all about sharing your story of your achievement instead of letting them be the star in that moment And the same idea of focusing on the other person comes into when you're giving somebody a compliment. I loved your advice on making sure that the compliment is about them and it's not about you to them. C you explain a little bit about what that means Yes. so instead of making the compliments seem like congratulations, in my opinion, you look fabulous or you did this so well U saying it more as like u an observation that's about them. So like instead of I think you look beautiful and the color blue, you look beautiful in that color is something that's more about the other person All right, so a good way to give a better compliment right there. You have some tips as well for being a good host. So let's say I'm having some people over to my house. What are some things I can do to extend that idea of etiquette being about kindness and putting people at ease into welcoming people into my house So first you want to be thinking of the guests. So what are the questions that the guests will wantna know or how can you make them feel more comfortable? So let them know like is this going to be a dinner? Is it going to be hors d'euvre? Should they eat in advance? Will it be outside? Should they plan to wear shoes that are good on the grass, those kinds of things and then be thinking about your guest lists and who you want to be introducing. And if you're going to do a seating arrangement, I really like a seating arrangement. Think about who you'd like to connect, like maybe put your more gregarious friend next to your more shy friend. I really love a table that mixes people of different ages, intergenerational tables can be wonderful They encourage kids to H use their good dining etiquette and try different foods and have conversations that are maybe a little more sophisticated than they might otherwise and Be willing to accept help, but know that you don't have to, askk your guests for dietary restrictions before they come over. You don't need to necessarily make something if it's going to be very complicated, but always let any guest that has a dietary restriction bring something that would meet their needs if you know you're serving something that isn't going to be a good fit for them, that kind of a thing And for guests, you also talk about things that seem polite but aren't I imagine one of those is showing up too early, right? Yes, yes. showhing up early is definitely a big one. This is not a dentist's appointment. You don't want to be showing up early to a bridal shower because anyone who's hosted anything knows that a lot of the magic happens in that final moment before the door is opened. Another thing that people think is polite but actually isn't is when a host says that you can get started or you can help yourself in the buffet not getting in line because they're not starting because you don't want to be the first one You actually can do that because a host, if they've told you to get started, they mean it and it probably means like they want everybody to enjoy the food while it's warm. they've put all this work into getting all these different dishes ready at the right temperature at the right time. So don't be afraid to do that. Another one is insisting on helping even when the host says they're all set If a host says are all set That's fine. You don't need to feel guilty about not helping get the appetizers ready Another one is Cleaning up without asking a host their preferences. maybe you have a survival of the fittest approach to the dishwasher at home, but you're host likes to hand wasash some of the pieces from her grandmother or whatever it is. just As before you assume and start cleaning things or putting things away that the way that you might because it might not be the same always thinking about what the other person would want. Well we're going to take one more quick ad break and when I come back, I'm going to hear about Allison's time tracking because it turns out that Allison is a fan of time tracking as well Hey listeners Thanks to Suja organic cold pressed juices and shots I don't feel like I need a twenty step wellness routine to feel my best They have something for whatever you need I'll grab a green juice like Mighty Dozen on busy mornings when I want easy nutrition or burry lemon gut health in the afternoon for a pick me up It tastes great and has probiotics and even prebiotic fiber, which is what we're all looking for these days get real wellness from functional superfoods Not from a trend your algorithm is pushing Suja's powerful cold pressed fruit and vegetable juices and daily wellness shots prove you don't need a wellness retreat to feel like you took one Just sip and let the superfoods do the work the fads is wellness that actually works pressed, organic, and bnded with benefits Suja organic Hey listeners. We compare prices on so many things in life I know I want a good deal on my flights and hotels So why wouldn't you compare prices for your rides. Taking a few seconds to check lift can save you money on your next ride Rideshare prices can fluctuate constantly based on traffic, events and weather You don't want to pay more than you need to So if you and your crew are trying to get to the next stop on your big night out Get in the habit of checking lift to see if maybe you'll save enough to covered desserts s talk about a great way to use your time. And enjoy your night Save money Hey listeners there's a lot of noise in the business world today Leaders like you need clear insights from professionals you can trust That's why truist security is created navigating beyond the expected podcast built for decision makers who want clarity in a changing market. Every month, you'll get expert perspectives from corporate and investment bankers who are helping clients tackle important challenges Hear how leaders across industries are adapting to new technologies. making smarter decisions. and strengthening their ability to grow and secure critical capital practical advice that cuts through complexity for leaders who need to know what's coming next Subscribe at truist d. com slash Beyond podcast That's T R U I S T com slash Beyond podcast Copyright Truist Securities Incporated Member FenRA and SIPC talking with Alison Shpparddack, who is the author of Was It Something I said and is also an etiquette expert and as it turns out, is a long term time tracker. So Alison, you started tracking your time Um About the same time I did over a decade ago, is that right That's right. So I started, it was the summer before I went to law school and it was all inspired by reading your book when it had first come out And I started, I think in July or August of twenty fifteen, and I've never stopped And it's It's been so helpful for me. I really admire your whole mindset and outlorook on time and how people are in good use of time and how we often, I think I had Bar I didn't have a very I had a biased view, I think, of how I spent my time until I started to look at it on paper and realized that as you write about, we remember the extremes. but we have the data, we can be less biased our observations I'm curious, are you tracking on paper? I mean, or what are you using an app Excel, what are your what's your time track?. I for a long time, I I was not using it on paper even though I kind of