DV Relationship - Staying for the kids? It's harming them more than you know.

Mourning the loss of the relationship you thought you had

Jul 2, 202618 minSummary

In this episode of Intentionally Disturbing, the host explores the complex and often misunderstood process of grieving after escaping a domestic violence relationship. She emphasizes that survivors are not just mourning an abuser, but rather the reality, future, and version of the person they believed they were with. Because this experience often involves gaslighting, which destabilizes a person's sense of reality, the grief is frequently disenfranchised by outsiders who fail to understand the trauma involved. The host discusses how coercive control can strip a survivor of their identity, noting that healing requires a process of reconstituting oneself. Drawing on psychological insights and the dangers of internalizing an abuser’s narrative, she provides six practical steps for moving forward. These include validating one's own grief, separating complex emotions through journaling, seeking trauma-informed therapy like EMDR, and finding supportive communities that understand narcissistic abuse. Ultimately, the episode serves as a powerful reminder that the capacity to love is a virtue, not a flaw, and that survivors can successfully rebuild their identities and intuition after emerging from even the most destructive dynamics.

Two Forensic Psychologists, One Marriage, Zero Filter

Jun 30, 202635 minSummary

In this episode of Intentionally Disturbing, the host—a forensic psychologist—is joined by her husband, also a clinical and forensic psychologist, for an unfiltered question-and-answer session. The pair offers a rare, behind-the-scenes look at the realities of working with some of the most dangerous individuals in the justice system. Drawing on their professional experiences, they discuss the psychological nuances of interacting with psychopaths, the complexities of managing command hallucinations, and the clinical realities of high-stakes legal cases, including the challenges of pleading insanity in premeditated crimes. Beyond their professional work, the hosts delve into their personal life, exploring the dynamics of a marriage shared by two experts in human behavior. They candidly discuss the boundaries they maintain between their work and their relationship, how they navigate parenthood, and the importance of shielding their private lives while maintaining a healthy, communicative partnership. Throughout the conversation, the hosts highlight how their shared understanding of human nature helps them approach challenges with resilience, avoid unnecessary conflict, and maintain a balanced perspective in an increasingly divisive world.

Just left a DV relationship? Here’s what to do next.

Jun 11, 202640 minSummary

In this episode of Intentionally Disturbing, Dr. Leslie, a clinical and forensic psychologist, provides a comprehensive guide for individuals who have recently left domestic violence relationships. She challenges the societal script that suggests leaving is an immediate "happily ever after," explaining that departure is actually the beginning of a complex, challenging, and non-linear transition. Dr. Leslie emphasizes that survivors often feel disoriented because their nervous systems, previously calibrated to manage the volatility of an abusive partner, suddenly lack that structure. She addresses the importance of acknowledging this discomfort and grief as natural responses to trauma. The episode outlines critical practical steps for safety, including the necessity of strategic planning, securing documentation, maintaining digital privacy, and obtaining legal protections. She also addresses the reality of financial abuse, offering advice on regaining autonomy even when resources are scarce. Beyond the logistical hurdles, Dr. Leslie focuses on the vital internal work of recovery. She explains how to identify and process complex post-traumatic stress, rebuild trust in one's own perception, and separate one's authentic voice from the critical, intrusive thoughts implanted by an abusive partner. The discussion serves as a roadmap for reclaiming reality, fostering healthy boundaries, and navigating the long-term journey of personal healing.