Just left a DV relationship? Here’s what to do next.

Mourning the loss of the relationship you thought you had

Jul 2, 202618 minSummary

In this episode of Intentionally Disturbing, the host explores the complex and often misunderstood process of grieving after escaping a domestic violence relationship. She emphasizes that survivors are not just mourning an abuser, but rather the reality, future, and version of the person they believed they were with. Because this experience often involves gaslighting, which destabilizes a person's sense of reality, the grief is frequently disenfranchised by outsiders who fail to understand the trauma involved. The host discusses how coercive control can strip a survivor of their identity, noting that healing requires a process of reconstituting oneself. Drawing on psychological insights and the dangers of internalizing an abuser’s narrative, she provides six practical steps for moving forward. These include validating one's own grief, separating complex emotions through journaling, seeking trauma-informed therapy like EMDR, and finding supportive communities that understand narcissistic abuse. Ultimately, the episode serves as a powerful reminder that the capacity to love is a virtue, not a flaw, and that survivors can successfully rebuild their identities and intuition after emerging from even the most destructive dynamics.

Two Forensic Psychologists, One Marriage, Zero Filter

Jun 30, 202635 minSummary

In this episode of Intentionally Disturbing, the host—a forensic psychologist—is joined by her husband, also a clinical and forensic psychologist, for an unfiltered question-and-answer session. The pair offers a rare, behind-the-scenes look at the realities of working with some of the most dangerous individuals in the justice system. Drawing on their professional experiences, they discuss the psychological nuances of interacting with psychopaths, the complexities of managing command hallucinations, and the clinical realities of high-stakes legal cases, including the challenges of pleading insanity in premeditated crimes. Beyond their professional work, the hosts delve into their personal life, exploring the dynamics of a marriage shared by two experts in human behavior. They candidly discuss the boundaries they maintain between their work and their relationship, how they navigate parenthood, and the importance of shielding their private lives while maintaining a healthy, communicative partnership. Throughout the conversation, the hosts highlight how their shared understanding of human nature helps them approach challenges with resilience, avoid unnecessary conflict, and maintain a balanced perspective in an increasingly divisive world.

DV Relationship - Staying for the kids? It's harming them more than you know.

Jun 27, 202623 minSummary

In this episode of Intentionally Disturbing, forensic psychologist Dr. Leslie tackles the common but dangerous myth that staying in a domestic violence relationship is better for the children. Drawing on twenty years of research and clinical experience, she explains that remaining in an environment of abuse or coercive control does not shield children from harm. Instead, witnessing domestic violence—even if not directly assaulted—rewires a child’s brain architecture, causing toxic stress that impairs development in the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. The host details how these neurological impacts manifest differently across age groups, ranging from behavioral disruptions in toddlers to complex PTSD, anxiety, and distorted relationship templates in adolescents. She highlights the concept of generational transmission, noting that children raised in violent households are statistically more likely to either experience or perpetrate domestic violence as adults. Dr. Leslie underscores that while some children show resilience, the best way to protect them is to prioritize safety. She urges parents to break the silence, seek external support, and understand that their own recovery is the most vital step in securing a healthier future for their children.