The Paul Rudd Sauce Confession

Welcome to the Off menu podcast. It's a bonus e bonus! Wow, we so loud. Yes, this is a bonus live episode of the Off menu podcast, James. Do you remember this? It was all the way back on the thirteenth of march twenty twenty six. In the Royal Albert Hall, no less. No less than the Royal Albert Hall. We will only perform in the Royal Albert Hall now. Yes, we did Six shows at the Royal Albert Hall Mat It should have been illegal, but they let us do it. Yes. and they were all tasting menus where we'd get an old guest ban Yeah, a fan favourite and we give them the menu of another fan favourite. Yes Very exciting for us to rawl through our multiple episodes and go, we'd like to speak to this person again. Yeah. we listen to Every single episode we've ever done again in order to choose the best guest for the Royal albcohol But no offense if you're to this and you weren't one of the ones selected. your time will come nextext time we do The Royal Aber Hall. Of course, we actually liked all the episodes that we listened back to and we listened back to all of them. Yeah all of them. Every single one of them was great that one We decided to go Alpha Betical So Alphab Becool. Alphab Becical We went in alphabbecca Coloda. And the first guest on these tasting menu shows is Ashling Be. The wonderful Ashling Bee came back to be given the menu of a previous guest all will be revealed in the show. Some stuff we talk about toashing mighton't make total sense because there was a first half. we went on and talked in the first half just just for context. Ed and I had just watched the Louis Feroux Manosphere documentary and in the first half did a lot of references to the manosphere. Y S people have been cooked talking about HS tiky Tky and stuff. So like, you know that might come up again in the second half. Yes a little bit. Yeah. So if you're like I don't understand that joke, it's probably because you've not heard the first half And of a lot of comedians would make sure that didn't happen, but not us. Not us, not as we were in the moment in the Royal Iball, we werere caught up in the present really, we weren't thinking about the future where people would have to listen to it Um, And I guess, you know, sometimes people would say like, oh, why bother Go going to see a live podcast They'll just release it as audio anyway. Well, that's why. this is proof. This is proof that actually, you know as much as you're going to enjoy listen to it now. There will be moments where you might feel a bit lost. It's going to be nonsense to you. And that won't happen in the future if you come But this is a fun episode Enjoy, this is the off menu tasting menu of Aolute B Live at the Royal Albert Hall He gamble, kick it off, like only you can. Okay, we're kicking off straight away. James, good. G there was a energy there in the interval. James was a bit ashamed of what he did in the first half. He's released an apology on the notes up. so everything's sorted now and I was spaling. I was I was spiraling Thankk you. and now you're going to go and get your mental health addressed. you're going to go into therapy Yes, yes. good boy. Welcome to the off menu podcast, taking the J two O of conversation. Wering it onto the Ccoa Pops of Humour. And then eating a load of fucking disgusting stinky eggs as well, you horrible man Heo Gb, my, name is James.s again we a drink site every single week We invite in the guests, we ask them their favourite ever star and man' dessert side dish undrinked, not in that order. This is the tasting Mo Whes Where we invite back an old guest, a fan favourite fan favourite. This episode's fan favourite F from a previous episode, we will be giving the menu of another previous guest fan favourite. And this guest, James, did the podcast ages ago. The first series, the first ever series The first ever series, one truly one of our favourites, onene of our favourite people in the world I think we should just get on with it, James. Yeah, let's bring out Ashhing and give her another guest menu. So here we go. This is not the off menu menu of Ashing B Well well, well well Well, well, well A we're starting a new podcast. Will you come on now? All right, lads, I'll lend my celebrity jazz to your little podcast once and about menus. o. Well that'll never work, but I'll do it anyways, boys, What's for starters? me Eating my words, James H You were very nice coming on our podcast when no one listened to it in those early days. you gave us a chance, actuallyhle, and we appreciate it. A they boys, I saw something in you I thought look, these guys have got no personality, they boat the same height That's not going to work. Don't lead with no personality, though. You know what I mean? you're stretching it at this stage Diabeteses, diabet, you can't live a life just talking about your diabetes Ding pretty well out of it, gotta say. That's. Some diabetics there only get to sit in the audience. That's tr They have to sit down so tired from having diabetes. I understand that welcome the best opening of course. Welcome everyone with diabetes. Type one and two Here's one of the many things I remember from your episode Ashling is that James was forty five minutes late. Yeah, that's the only episode I've been late for. Still to this day, I slept in. Yes. I woke up and had a lot of messages from Bedito, going Wh the hell are you? Ashon says you've been here for ages Now I to turn up really, really late and say I was so, so sorry. and it's never happened again. Because you cared more about the people who came after me or why was it wasas that why you just didn't really It's fine. This has turned into like a group therapy chnel between three friends. you guys have to watch. Thanks for having me on, guys. You're most welcome. We are delighted to have you on for the opening night at the Albert Hall James, we do need to kick it off properly though, because at the moment you are a mere man and we need to be a genie. Yes. Oh yes, you're doing something sexist now, James for a change. It's a character. Okay Ashlly, how would one traditionally get a genie out of a lamp? would you? No like I'd get many things out of things with a spout head and give it a good rub. Would you care to give the spout a up? Oh God Hang on, youve set that up, you got I know, yeah. Oh, you're not gonna to turn this into a meme or something now are y I You don't have to rub that. B. Welcome back toab back to thement. My cles out of the face. Are I pregnant now? Oh no That was a real sh. I really like I really You didn't have to rub the spout, mate. Honestly. In Aladdin, he doesn't wank off the spout, does he? You can rub the main body of the lamp. See now hindsight's you know, a fine ping when you're on the other side of it. Yeah, I suppose I didn't have to wank off the spout. you understand. You just rub the tummy of the lamp because I know that works for me E All you need to do is rub my tumy. A little look into how Ed Gambbell gets an erection, there's likes rub his tummy. Rub my tummy Big old boner catch heres. No o I really enjoy that, James. really I really enjoy that James. Thank you. Sorry, James is forty one Whose menu are you hoping for, Ashle? We're going to give you an old guest's menu. O Is there in Do you know in terms of the first series, so we were on the first series of this, or maybe he came on the second one. In my episode I talked about my birthday, which is on Monday. Oh my God, if they bring out a cake Yeah f you said this You said this to us backstage just before we came on for the second half. you were like, was there gonna be a cake? We werere like, I didn't fucking know it was your b. It's a food podcast, soes. Oh I'll leave as a surprise. I'll leave it a surprise. Yeah, let's leave it as a surprise forever So yeah, so I was talking about how my birthday's Day for Staint Patrick's Day and I won a hu of people. And we're like little rats coming in now. Yes. Where the immigrants people like, we can't becausecause's invisibleorder, we can't get them back and we're like. So yes, I was talking about Staint Patrick's Day and I got really hammered and I had to do the Staint Patrick's Day gig in Leicester Square. and I was like, hello there, happappy Patrick's Day. And then I went to Burger and Lobster with Darl Breen and I think Ard Lo Hanlan In the podcast, I do remember saying what was so lovely going to this place was I was covered in butter, but I didn't fancy anyone at the table. So it was fine. I could just be a one finally eating food after vomiting up from St. Patrick's day so long. And Darry got really offended that I I didn't fancy him He said, So yeah, listened to the OE podcast and didn't know eat it fantasy mes. And I was like, what didnn't give it away. The bib of me covered in butter going C your mth. if you don't eat them at the end, A So yeah, so maybe Daris Yeah, yeah Be I would love to go for dinner with him some time and I. It's such an insight to Dara's bright. Do you think he just walks around assuming that everyone fancies it? A ye. tall men have a bit of that though, don't they? Yeah know you could see things up here Well, we haven't given you a tall man's menu. Oh. No, a weedy little boy is a little little man. Oh no, okay. Tonight I should be. Yeah. You will be given the off menu menu of Josh Whinnaker. Oh my God! Wh's Josh Whitakom The first was a last minute decision. And we literally what we said to Benito was just find quite a bad photo of Josh. That would be perf. Could we just have another look at that? I absolutely love that photo There he is Look at that absolute asssehole. He looks like someone's a family pony. Yeah Hello nibbles. Do like the sugar What do you think? Josh Wittiam's men. Do you think you'll like it or not like it before you've even heard it? I think he's maybe surprisingly spicy old Joshy. Mbe. Surprising spicy. Yeah, I just think he'd surprise us by enjoying heat. Whaty I't know. Have you had a meal with Josh before? I ever Oh God definitely had loads of I've I like to go around. I'm not teechnically a doctor, but then who is, to But I have often diagnosed Josh as having the upside down stomach disease. You know what's that called what is this Colic Cut me ncic more serious. Something upside down, like your tummy's upside down. Upside down stomach disease. Boy eutonomy. inside out or round and round It's a type of tummy issue where your digestive goes have to go down to go up. So do they have to eat through their button shit through their mouth Yes. Josh, Witome. I had dinner with him, I just told you. No, I think he's got an upside down tummy, which is a real thing. It's not exactly callic because I've seen him at events when I one time watched him vomit on a plug. And and we were like, o is this going to burn down? but it didn't, in fairness place didn't burn down.. But he often would has a bit of a dicky tongue from ye. He used to yak all the time. Oh he yaked everywhere. Benito, if you've googled upside down Tummy disease, you can put it on the monitor so solve this, that would be great. It is things is the minute we just had got heckled by the word colic. It wasn't the most cheery thing what happened on a Friday night in the alhol Call it Pollock go take of Pollock No. Okaykay, I' just trying to help. Have you got it? Have you suddenly remembered it? Oh couldould it be Hyacous Hnia? Is it Hyacus Hnia Yes, in part the seas and then I like run to you like Patrick Swaze and jump into your arms.ophagal hernia That's Josh's dragon name. Yes, so I have diagnosed him with that. He's never gone to a doctor, haaven't really googled him much. I just think that's what he has. It doesn't sound like his menu's gonna be spicy then, does it, to be fair? I wouldn't risk spice if I had upside down tummy. he doesn't think he does. No he doesn't. so he might be risking. He thinks everyone else's tummies are upside down. Yeah. Yeah He has an Australian inside, but very much an English outside. Yes,. So racist both times. I lovely work there, Jam. Thank you they work Wautful. Now, your dream meal, for your water course, you chose still water. So I guess you're hoping for that from Josh's menu as well. Yes, I would. Well, again, speaking as a doctor, I wouldn't want someone with an upsair or down stomach having bubbles, you know So I would want him to have still water to just get that H twoO into him. You know, hydration is really important when you' something wrong with your stomach I'm trying to embrace this sort of doctor character This will be a good opportunity as well because we'll run through your menu alongside to remind you of what you picked. G. And if you want to make changes as we go through this to your dream menu, you can absolutely do. I get to do a live edit. Also, can I just say which is very nice? And again, I don't know if it's like teeing up to the birthday cake, The lads did leave me bread and carry gold butter which was Mannoney yes. Do you know that I mentioned Care Gold on this podcast at the start? This podcast has turned into this, and I've yet to be sent, I know it's hard to post, but a free thing of butter That's disgrace. All the years,. Disgrace. They should send you the cow. Yeah. It has become a vning thing on the podcast, Cerry Gold. Yeah And you started it. Thank you very. Every Irish guest has picked Kere Gold butter And if they haven't, I think they've had their passport taken away. Yeah, they do. they get sent back to the moon The moon The moon moon Oh Yes, the Josh Whitiams tell me we go crazy on the moon. Oh man. Oh people like Oh God, o no. This is a small step for people with parasophical lire. Yes, and you also left me my dessert backstage as well or a version of it my pecan tarts. This is really nice that you think me and James had anything to do with this You said the first on here. the lads left me bread and Kerry goold butter and me and James looking at each other going No I didn't fucking do that. Did you do that? Oh my Godd, it was benito. It was benito. It was bonito Do you think Benita' in love with me? Cheers Here's the question. if you went for dinner with Bonito, would you put any of that butter around your face and would you wear a bib? Oh my God, I definitely put the butter on my face, hoping that maybe he'd reach across and put a piece of bread on my face to get it off Godh, I don't know I can continue this show. I'm too horny. Well, we've got you just how we want you. Let's start the menu, asn't it? Okay. Let's Josh Winakom's water course! You like still water and he's one with sparkking water and a cup of tea S know, back in my day when I did this podcast, you weren't allowed a cup of tea becausecause that is delicious to me. I would of course have a cup of tea If I started. Dellicious. What type of tea though you can't say a cup of tea I think he did just say a cup of tea, you know. I guess you could have whatever cup of tea you would like. Didn't even specify how much milk does you put the bag in first? Do it put the milk in first? becausecause obviously nobody with a good brain does that for a sin of psyopathy Not in the John Ronsson book about psychopaths, but if you put the milk in first then I don't know. So is it the milk in first and then the they say Milk in first, murder second. Yeah Again, I'm no psychologist, but then who is? And But that's sure fire way to work it out Yes, and then you have to specify do you want sugar in there? suugar in your tea after thirty five, are you a baby? Pull yourself together. Whoa I mean it I mean it, I mean it. Misses over there with your baby fruit juice on your come on We need to get ourselves together now, okay Yeah Did you used to put sugar in your tea? and then there was a conscious decision I've grown out of this now. Yes, the government got in touch.. They sent a letter to your house. You're no longer a wizard Ary and you just have to sort of How It mention that. Yeah. I told you weren' a wizard any b. You're no longer a wizard orre taken aback What's your your belief of human rights Would you take us through Ashling So just something for the woke people, not you, James I love Harry Foster. You're playing Hagward in the new movie aren't?, I' goingy Hagward me and Nick Froster playing it together I'm on his back like Ban Joker ooi Could you take us S Asling Bee's perfect cup of tea, please? Yes, I will. Thank you. Thanking tea. B Ashling Ta is a Barry's tea bag. Yes. So Irish people, do you know that there's now and again, they'll never send me any free stuff when I mention on this podcast. there so it's a gold label Barry St is the Irish teaabags. They're in a red box, but they've just done a black box. and it is so delicious, especially if you've hard water in your area, it mixes very well with hard water Boil that kettle. It must be boil James. Don't ever put cold water on a a teaabag. Yeah you b it. James. Leave it in for about a minute, then outuchy pops, come over a full fat milk. donon't be semi skimmed. Again, that's too far into adulthood. You can baby yourself a little bit by going full fat, creamy ice milk. In we go, goodood old drop, you want it to be the right level of brown. and then we give it a twirl and then we put a twirl into it Beause you cannot be putting sugar in it because that's for babies but you can put a full twirl. G. That's the hack. You could put a full twirl into it, let it dip but be very careful. You have to do in, be brave, be brave out And then Delicious, sexy I mean, does actually sound nice to the twelve. Yeah. I think there's enough people in here that someone will try that. Yeah. Because within the twirl, you've got the things so it can act as a straw as well. So the second time you go in with a twirl, you bite off the head of it like a prawn. And very much the prawns of the chocolate world thewirls And then you put it in and you suck the tea up and then through the twirls. So again, don't have sugar, donon't be a baby but you'll get some of that sweet sugar on the way up as it comes in through the twirl. don't mind it. But don't be a baby. But don't be a b be a baby. People do that with Tim Tams, right? You know Tim Tams? I do know Tim Tam is because my boyfriend does Australia and of course. I remember my friend went on a gap here to Australia and he came back he was like, wait wait till you see this And he pulled out a bag of Tim Tames, bit the end off both ends and then sucked his cup of tea, and it's the hardest I've ever seen anyone suck. D Wh this. It's so cool,! Im so glad I didn' take a gap y.nt Be they don't really do gapiers in Ireland. Isn't a gapi yearer supposed to like an no offenced Australians, including the one who got me pregnant? Is N a Gap hereer supposed to broaden your horizons and understanding of the world? Yeah, well, he wasn't sucking teet through a bardburn before he went. Yeah that's true. discovered something new. Just it's not exactly a magical carpet ride to go to Australia and go back with Tim Tam's man. Yeah I'm glad he took the year I've got a magic carpet th. I could take them there. No Yeah. No I've heard about it. special now I've got one What are you gonna? Pop up? Popms up man Aston B. Popms up No ps up man Aston B Oh, you actually scared the shit out of. It felt great. Fellas, you're gonna scare Lad James sppot the red flags early. Call the polase. James, do you remember when you do callbacks to that that when the podcast is put out, they won't include the first half Tust Benito will be on my side in the edit Remove it if it doesn't make any sense, anybodybody Joe. I'm sorry I bully you off Mike U Pop along bre Josh Whittdakam, of course, is the question. and Josh Whittakam said pile of nineties papa Doms with mainly the yogghurt dip, mango chutney and lime pickle. Now as was Josh Winam, of course the nineties was gonna to come up, but what does nineties popa Doms mean to you actually be? I don't know because I only really had I didn't even have pasta until about the two thousands because they just didn't. The first time I had spaghetti I think I was sixteen And it was my neighbor's French friend who said Irish laws away, I don't know? You have to wait. It was just a different time. like, you can have spaghetti. and I was like, what? I don't know, We're not, you know bit much for us now. I don't know about that. And she put ketchup and grated cheese over and she's like, that's Italian food. And I was like, Jesus, this is lovely That was the first time I' ever had spaghetti. so I didn't have a papa Dom I'd say I didn't have any definitely didn't have I don't think I' had Indian food until I moved to London. I didn't have Italian food until I was about sixteen. I didn't yeah, so I nineties papa Dom. is is is it doesn't have a reference to me. Yeahah. We're told of pastor Leah over here has a question for you Leah Do you want to ask a question Leah went home in the interval.ah. was like, I've seen it. What a way to find that out. Oh Leah, were you l is she still over there Do. Wow.in James Remember her name. James. She has a name James. She has a name. I cannot believe this shit, man How'd just say the first girl's name that comes to my head I call all girals Leia. becausecause I like to layer them. Is it Lauren? I'm so sorry about that, Lauren, if you pass. You are seen, you are heard, and you have a name Though I will say, Laurea, in terms of like, where's the girl who was talking about the pasta, you probably should have worked out it was you Thank saying that that's fine. an ally. Ally. Ally on the streets hates you in the streets eyes don know Oh yes, the past thing. Well, I would like to think my favorite one to eat is the one that looks like an airplane neck pillow. What's that one? You know, the one it looks like a Caroni No, no, no, it's got stuff inside in it? Are you thinking of an aerplane neck pillow? have you? I am. Yes. You know, when you put pasta inside an aeroplane neck pillow I I'm back to sleep we go. Lauren's question is and she asks this to everyone. Would you like to ask it to Ashley? If you' a passenger pass pass passer mo? Yes. I repeat my answer, the aeroplane neck pillow What is it? also Lauren, did you not say, arere you second generation Italian Yes, Oh you so you speak it out Oh, why don't you ask me an Italian, Luren Can't you say t Mousu tur Mousu tur Mousu? Oh, do you not have any Italian? That's totally fine if you don't W you don doingtoney Italian? Okay, well youfore me in Nicaspy Lis The one with the filling in it and it's all rolled up Torini Trtelliniin. Torolini' is smaller though, isn't it? And an neck pillow, yes, it is. I wasm thinking of the size of a neck pillow here Or end up coming across Grape Don't say we ract me into your fucking sesspit of sexism you got your ratios off with the pastor. I thought that's good enough, come over with me I'm going to get the video of you forcing me to do that to the spout of that thing and then just leave that without comment and get you cancellled. I am behind the thing, so you could just dub it over with energy and get AI. do myoice and' be like, that's it Wank off the spout. Well, no need to get her alle to do it now. Just do that Sit it completely clean with no backbround as well. Shop that up and use it anywhere I guaranteed Benito's done that already and we can play at the end of the show. Straight in there. Goddamn it, Benita So you'd you'd be a Tllini? Yes, But then being Irish, maybe the one with a potato in it is Nocky. Oh, o I wish you know what? If I thought about that for longer we'd be like, Nocky Nocky. Wh's there? Asashling tea. Asling tea h Birthday cake That's my favourite pasta. Birthday, birthday. HS knocy knocki That was a good noocky noocky joke. Yeah I like youro. It was a good noockkey knockkey joke where you just said some things you remember from ten minutes ago. So so you wanted bread when you came on the podcast with Kerry goold butter, of course, sourdough bread. So this is not really the kind of vibe you would go for for your drink meal, but would you have popads now? I have a big Indian family now My brother in law iss Indian, so we eat loads of Indian food now. W, yester. a big shout out to the Carolnans and the audence, not any Carolinans. So we e a lot of cararooline food as well in particular. So yes, I have would have a lot of papa Doms. They do take the piss out of me because sometimes they're like, is that papa Dom too spicy for you? And I'm like, No, I can just about manage it. because I'm still not great with heat. I'm good with spice, but I'm still not great with heat But Josh would have come if wouldould you want to eat this meal with Josh? See, I'm now starting to think that man, that man, that manut the picture of Josh up again, please? Yes, please Yes, please. Sad Pony. I love this. He's not even here. Every time a picture of him appears, everyone laughves My little pony, I think might not be able to ppise and I'll tell you why it's because he really focused on the yogurt part of the day. He really does ye They wanted mostly, mostly yogurt dip with a I put yogurt on everything Yeah, put yogurt on absolutely everything. I would put yogurt on you Acaster if I had the chance. U put that up yeah. Give me something to f back Yes, I love. So I think he might be a bit of me kning. Okay. So you would eat this meal with Josh. So far Yes, yes. fantastic. What's your favourite thing to put yogurt before we move on? Oh o do you know what I don't mind? A bit of poked salmon on a piece of toast, a bit of kimchi on top of that, and a bit of yogurt on top of that Sounds very fancy, very nice. Yeah, layers top That's another one you can't be eating with someone you fancy. justust it's yogurt and k it's not a It's N Bueno as Lauren wouldn't say tella It's just checkking if it's a plain yoga.slain yoga. Not a crunch corner, isn't it it's petty foo.. I'm a baby sometimes. a Greek big thick Greek yogurt or a lavana. don't mind a lavana. Oh God. I should have eaten before I did the podcast I't realize Let's get into Josh's menu proomper then Yourreams boy. this is Josh Wittham's Dreamstarter. You will be eating two slices of toast. One with marmite and one with marmite. Is he Paddington bear? P not. Well let's check the picture of him quickly. Is he Paddington Bear? Let's see the picture, please. Y Yes. Straight in from Peru, Josh Wittacam. You'd lose a marmalade sandwich in that hair. Yes He is the most Paddington of all the comedians, I think. Yeah. Yes, he is. I can imagine him escorting the quQueen to the afterlife. No, it's this way. No, no, no, it's definitely this way. overver here. C life this way. Come this way, mom. What's that When did that happen James outline, we need to explain quite a lot of these things to him When the quQeen died I do not know. I'm so sorry The the only woman I like. Um Yeah, that's when the queen died. A picture went around the internet. S someone had done seriously, like a drawing of It's like their backs, but it was Paddington leading the queen off. I think I can't remember exactly what the caption was written under it. It was something like, That's enough for you now, or something like it wasn't that I want that That's now now all finished. Something like now now all finished. It p V' do pig and V'll do P don't find that picture and put it up on the big screen. He's taking it to hell I think the person who drew it was probably pro queen and was insinuating heaven, really. Oh. It would be good if the next picture is Paddington taking his face off and it's the devil. You have lived an awful life. Yeah. A toasted marmade sandwich on his horns. B just I not in charge of the screen. what Benito's writt in there Thank you, Benito. Bad luck, Ben, I didn't know there'd been a mutiny backstage. he's lost all of his to an office chair I m you't escape help me, Penita. Stop laughing! I got a scream. Penita, can you find out what the caption was on the Paddington and Queen picture and put it up on the little screen for us, please? I'm just curious now. Are you gonna to prefer the Marmite or the marmade toast? Again, I'm going out with an Australian who recently presented a piece of toast to my Irish mother who'd never had marmite before and she thought it was Natella and She like had been hit by the devil or in an exorcise. She was like against the wall. just was like no I've never eaten something so disgraceful in my life So Marmite isn't the house, not for me, but I don't find Marmite that Marmite Yeah, I'm likes it's It's fine. Sorry to interrupt. it was thank you, M for everything. What did you think it was fororever? Thank you M'am forore. what did you think it was? Oh come on now all done It the same sort of same meaning in a way Is Marmite not a thing in Ireland? No, not really. Wouldn't you say Irish people in? We don't really No No. We'll move here, but we won't accept your ways We'll make love to your men, We'll pay the odd bit of tax, but we won't take your spreads Is there an equivalently noxious spread in Ireland? Again, the only spice is salt so just butter, really? It probably is butter is the equivalent. I don't think we do have an equivalent spread. Marmalade is really big. It's a real big like granddad's breakfast. Apparently it came from Queen Marie of somewhere or Mary No, Queen Mary of probably England, I probably should have researched this at some point was sick. And Vitamin C is obviously in oranges and her chef who was French was basically like Marie Melade. Mary is sick and he made her like an orange concoction and that was where marmalade came from. Made Is this QI or is this Amak? And that's actually how it came to be. I may I be the first to say to Queen Mary, than you, Mum for everything. In the words of Willnie the Poo that happen So you don't sorry, I interrupted before because I got the caption. You don't find Marmite to that Marmite. Yeah, you know there's like oh, it's a Marmite for me, like you either hate it or you love it. I'm sort of like, o it's not going to the metaphor doesn't work with me. Yeah. So you can retall that phrase now. You can use, that's a bit Marmite with How was your day? Marmite Yeah Yeah It's fine. I'm not bothered either way. Yeah, exactly. I can't market that, I guess. No, it is a harder push. It's fine. You could get something else if you wanted to, but if it's there, were not Mar mice. Marite. Some of you will like it just fine. And also because after mentioned it for Jack, it's vegggite is an Australian one. Are there Australians in And of course, the rollle was are, Irish and Australians, us cheeky lads And yeah, so they are very passionate of being veggieite I don't totally S. The difference I just don't really? Is that I mean, Australians are in, what is the difference Oh my Godd, I heard someone over there go Sorry much. Sorry much I can't even explore own who said sorry M over there Sound likeor Sounds like just so every time. No. What does it make cargo in part? Sort of salt and petrol or something. What's in it? Yeast. It's yeast extract. It's the thing that's left over from brewing, I believe. Yeah o. So wasas it on your series that you had to make command Mite of Taskmaster Oh God it was, yeah. Oh yeah I don't rememember anything? Truly. I have to try and remember what they said in his podcast today. Yes, I didn't ask Master Have to makeake Marmite. You don't remember what I did, because you did a podcast and I did that podcast with you. Yes. Oper Tasmaster, yes. Hold on a second. mean I've did a podcast with you as well. Oh I know where I know you are. Allight has been bugging me. Who's this handsome guy? Yeah I did have to make Task Master to Maright. I suppose I can't it's not going to be a great anecdote because I can't remember what I did or there were a lot of things I did on that show that I don't Totally remember, but o, do the memes remind you that I took my trousers off Well let's say that for this course, the Marmite you've got and the toast is made by one of the Tas Mter C contestants G series. This is a great question, by the way before you ask it. Thank you Ed. love you guys' relationship. You guys are clearly fucking I'm so into it. I adore this. Okay. Ashleing, and before you answer it, I'm happy to remind you of who you're on Task Master with Yes. Yes, Nish, thank you. Nish Bom, Mortimer Sally Phillips and Mark Watson. Well done. Yeah, which one of them do you want to make the Marmite for you I would trust the most I don't think Nish can cook at all. Correct. We know this. Bob, I wouldn't trust him to put together somethingomet I would eat at all he'd sort of get lost in the clouds or something like that in some way. Mark Sally would make something I'd have to eat because I love her so much, but it wouldn't be delicious. But Mark Watson would try to do it exactly right. He would over research. he would try to get he would lose his mind in the process of trying to put together a marmite and it would be probably delicious. I think that's the correct answer. Yes, but I think he just really commit. He'd learn how to cook Yeah for the task. I think I think it is the good answer. yeah You chose Kalamari when you came on the podcast as a starter and you might have even been the first person to choose that very popular starter. Again, a trend setter. Would that still be your dream starter now Very interesting. wouldould it still be my dream starter Maybe not Maybe I've grown. Maybe I'm a big girl now and I can ch ye, no, I probably would probably pick it. I love it. It's really good you by. You can dip it in thingsangang little rings It's kind of like a fancy hula hoop. you know Starting there. Has anyone seen the new trailer for the Spielberg film where Emmy Blunt start speaking an alien language It's exactly like that' you should see the trailer. I believe B just is reading the news or something and then she starts going. you to be like, well, this is an incredible alien film. You're like, Wh whyy is everybody beat booxing on the news? So when you did all the calamari stuff, it was like that. you're like So here's the thing about acting that's very hard. On the day, you're like, I might win an Oscar. And then when they edit it together And it's such pants, you're so shook at that you didn't sort like in your head, you thought you were the best actor. and then they yeah, they do you dirty in the editor. I bet she was like, they were like, Emily, we love it. So we need more. It's gonna people like, o no, she's an alien, but that's probably what happens. It It's you put your trust in so many people when you do something I'm never doubting blunt for a second. Yeah. James or Emily Yeah changed blood. I never dided. I didn't it until I had As we've already covered, your main course was lobster. Yes. Now Josh Whittakam, famously vegetarian, so it's unlikely it's going to be lobster. But you can still have this main course with Dara. And with Idle if you want it. This is Josh Whittakam's Dream Main course. friend M Mana pizza number five. Wasn't that a song in the nineties I like I like the plain starter, I like a plain main, I even like a tea well the bo Frankl Man compiz to survive No Achovy's added chili. Oh and yet the the sad pony has just kicked his back leg This is just and a side salad It's like he's all men. Eere. He is all of us Josh. By the way, I something's beautiful about him. I think it's Fr Franco Manca pizza number five, No anchovies. It looked like it could be Franco Franco Manca pizza, no five, no anchovies. It's not the five is the number, I think. The five is. Frco Mana pizza. No five, no. The point the band five come in and try and eat his pizza. He is very obsessed with the nineties. that probably is a legitimate Josh Whitnakam concern that five might come in and eat his pizza. No five Oh no, they slapped done to the fung I love about pizza. But yes, A one, do know. Is that a famous type of pizza? Frankl M? You don't remember A one? Number five You remember A one? What? A one? A bandember A one, Asston Do I remember? A one apparently? A one. Apparently that's a f It's a road, isn't it? Oh, no, I was thinking of the boy band. Yes, it was that You sent Aha at me just now. I'm going now. He did a cover of Aha. What the fuck has happened to this episode? You started talking about paper or roades and I know what you're on of them. What? What's A one? A one were a boy band in the nineties who did a cover of the Aha song Take me on. Yes. You were talking about a British road Okay, okay Okay. My joke, A one was related to five, no five, but yes A one. And look it didn't get a great reaction from the room because I think my reference was too specific and I didn't drive it home enough, but I thought at least my friend James would back me up on it. Yeah. Absolute sheer fucking confusion from this guy This is like if the movie, a Beautiful mind had no budget Could I just ask Franco Manco, Franco Manco Fanco It's hard to say, isn't it? I've just realized't hard to say Franco Manco pizza, number five. Franco. Does anyone of here ever work there or is that number five a pizza a type of a special type of pizza? Yeah, it's like all the pizzas are number one, two, three, four, five always I did assume that much to be Number five is always What? Before five, there's four other pizzas J. Tell me more of your big slaps. I'm about a night. I' a night there. Oh wait now, Benito has a message for us boy.. Come on, skkip, let's go Franco Manca pizza number five is canabri Cantabrian anchovies, one hundred percent Italian tomato or as you call it, tomato, Lauren. Mzzarella, kalmata, black olives, capapers, garlic, and oregano, or oregano, I'm so Hollywood. What I would say is Josh doesn't want the anchovies on that, and if you remove the anchovies, it's a fucking margarita. Yeah So you want a margarit to pizza, but with chilies on it more chilies? Yes Maybe he wants to order a pizza so then he can ask for things removed because that's kind of a status thing, isn't it? Very LA, isn't it? Very LA, very showbiz. You know, I'd like a pizza, no cheese, no bread, just the essence. Just let me smell the oven. Yeah. Let me smell the baker's hands and then I'll leave. I leave my tip Yes, okay. okay, I can see. I think what Josh is looking for from this menu is a sense of safety and comfort and a hug And that's what it feels like it's going on with Joshy. Doesn't it sense I to her ear I'll hug, I'll hug Josh. He's our friend, doesnn't he? Yeah he is our friend. I want to give him a little cuddle. Oh See who hurt him. Let's go see him now. Bye guys. Come on guys. When you said about the LA thing there, you were also the first person on the pod to ever mention cafe gratitude. Oh yes. This is the place in L.A where you have to order stuff by saying you know, it's all called what is it?'s like all the dishes are called things like like fortitude and strength and in a piece and you have to order by saying I would like strength. Oh Well I am strength. Yes. I am gratitude, I am strength. and that means like a Franccoanzo pizza number five. Yeah.. I told you what happened to me at Kafe Gratitude They came and asked me what I wanted to drink and I said, I am coffee Be there's but I was having fun with it. I was like, there's no name for the coffee. And then they said, how do you want the coffee? And I without thinking, said, I am black. Someone else say something now Hello, I'm Ashley be, the new host of our M Podcast with James A Caster We're done. We're done, man Oh here tonight you punched def man in the ear. Yeah G No, if you're laughing right now, you can talk. Yes, no, let's move on from that if we can, if we can in any way. That's great. had because it's a vegan cafe. When we went to Cafe Gratitude in LA together with Benito, we had the most vegan experience ever. So we walked in and it's already a vegan experience, being in Cafe Gratitude I guess he was sat in the cafe. Moby. Wh The OGV, the OG vegan. Moby I always get mixed up between Moby. there's two songs is Moby B Ba Eels. Is that Mobby? I don't think so Wh who is that? Massive attack. Massive attack. Very good. You know what? M people should have said that. My girls down the front. Thank you ladies. Then Moby is P put a listener. But it's actually same like Hm isn't it? Moby? Moby is Moby is. Sing to me, Edward I a mobie What is there's a famous movie? Yeah. No that the lion sleeps tonight. A good try. I'm moobby, I'm really moobby. I'm sleep tonight. A lovely beagle. I will eat you, Mrter Lion. Thanks for everything, ma' what is the mobi song? Does anyone know if we're talking about oyoy. you have to do it. Someone does it. You gott to do it Yeah. You you got to start going to Whimbow. I come on Eileen. What Fr J Jason Borghn. You know the one Oh ye, W, let me think of the Jason Borne sound. ' that always helps me remember a moobi song? Ionic that bec can't remember something from Jason Borne. Yeah does someone sing the tune? We're in the Royal Albert Hll. The acoustics will make you sound amazing. All I remember about Moby is he released his entire album for available for adverts. so that music's been on loads of adverts, but I couldn't remember one song Yeah. These two girls are the only people who are really here tonight. But you know what? know, I'm not going to ask my boyfriend to sing. He's like a musical encyclopedia Yeah Sing the s We don't know we don't s. You sing the song. Why is everything on us tonight? Be there just so much pressure on us to do the word Benito if you can get my birthday cake yet Berito, if you wriggle out of your shackles, can you play a mobi song? I l in a Micry Pone number five is the opposite of what we like in the mount. I'm going to go over here and I hope someone over here will be able to sing Oh st face certain as James is Cateringtown, FC Yes I knew I knew the Mobi song. Does anyone here know the Mobi tune Whatas? We'll move on, but you get the phones out. Do you know who I hype listens to this podcast? Moby. He will be what a devu and a for him. That's h of all al all. No one knows my song. Yeah. He'll be crying into a End of Moby's day just weeping into a bacon sandwich I don't know myself. I large I feel terrible because Yes, What is it? Yes. Hush, let the people sing. What Oh Lord, if my troubles with God, don't any trouble with God nobody do Yeah He nobody Wh at it? That's what you were trying to do. That's what you were trying to do. you sag your worst first I just found that's what you were trying to do. And we all said you were foolish. We all said you were crazy He kn He knew. We we didn't believe the guy at the startent was like, they're building a fort. There's a big wave coming and we're like, M crazy scientist. Well that was a long walk for a home sandwich The question is what is the side dish for this pizza? This is the true side dish. I' Wedome. Suoner, Suer. Lovely, veryy nice. but again, isn't too hot, I would feel. Sagener? I'd say one of the mildest n the world I love a bit of panier. It's just like a lovely little chunky little texture when you get in there and you're like, o another bit and it's hard not to just eat it all immediately. and then there's a sauce left, but I do like a cheeky little bit of paner. It's kind of like eating a pillow That's the second time you've talked about eating a pillow Is it? Yes, you had a neck pillow that you werere gonna eat earlier. Yeah now you're eating a pillow pillow. Amazing that you'd forgotten you'd said that. I did. I got so thrown by the Mobi tangent to be honest, and the people singing there and I thought it was a really beautiful a moment. I'll never forget what did happen there Yeser S pineer deellicious choice, I would say. H's the question. Are you getting a slice of the pizza dipping it into the sa pineer and scooping up a big bit? Yes, yes, yes. I'm a big take the bits and make the little bits using little boats for we're using carbohydrates to make little breads and little alternative open sandwiches from the dinner that you have Totato waffles, stick it under things, Yam yum yam into the yes. littleittle tiny boats all filled with different products into your mouth each time a new experience. A whole new world. Don't you dare close your eyes as you'd say on your magic heart. Are they my culture? You chose a lobster as the main, and the mashed potato was the side. So are you scooping the lobster into the mashed potato? No, because a lobster has its own shell. I would use a lobster which is a harder texture, James to put the mash onto. So then the lobster technically is acting as your bread and the potato is acting as your lobster How's it all going for you actually at the moment yeah, I feel like I feel like Mobi probably will feel afterfter eood And have a so fun Is that is a s That is it. is it ye, yeah. exact. If you'd leared it again. I don't know what the song was, try and find it. sets him off again. Dino. Th those adverts, man. Don't like those adverts? I absolutely hated them for a while and then one of them got me We are so annoyed. One when she's running for the train and she's got to tell them to some figure He's like, what is it? She goes. I out. That must suck for that guy. Yes. She got him with that I don't think I've ever genuinely seen you laugh? Yeah For P people just listening, James is the most joyous any of us have ever seen him remembering Dominous still going. Dominoh is so funny in that one advert. And it works that it's bad for the rest of them and annoying and I hate it. And then it gets me on that one Yeah. That lady is the way she delivers it to that guy James Ahaser, talk to me about some of your inspirations and what comedy inses you to do what you do. The domino h hoo advert. Absolutely Domino hoo hoo Let's come up with another domino who who advert. Okay. Let's write it together and we and maybe Dominoes will be listened to them. What are the hallmarks of the domino who who adverts that we definitely need to include? Domino who whoo, obviously. They need to say I think the main roule of it is that they just need to say Domino who who at the end and there needs to be some sort of build upp too them saying that where you wouldn't expect them to say it. and it doesn't need to make any sense why they're saying it. Pmission to pitch? Yeah. So I'm doing a tune and I'm like Uh And I'm like, Domino h hoo. they're like Moby That would be good. If the advert is like this ye, live off ment I to remember. Ashleon going, what's the Moby song? Yeah And then someone puts the hand up and he stands up and it's Moby himself. Yeah. They go, What was the song, Moby? And he goes, Dara no That's good. That is good Doma know who who is funny though I can see if you were up close to see the actual joy in this man in the real James Acaster's eyes from remembering the Domino's advert. beautiful what. Oh shit. Yeah I knew you were in there, really, James. Yeah. Oh there you are, Peter. It's you, Peter.. That would be that. if I was in hook, if I was Robbin Williams in hook. Yeah. they would be like that would my face. go, Oh there you are, Peter. And I'd like, Daren Dakims as the lastost boy. I fly up in the air. Iveought my happy forks. No no. That would be a good capt caption for the Queen and Paddington picture. Yeah. What? Dominooo booz. Oh, that would be a great ever. It's Paddington and the Queen. They're walking through all the clouds and they get to the Purly gates. She looks at him, but he goes, Domino! And then he pushes her into hell. C! Pandingstone. Burn in hell, mom. M you burn forever in hell, mom? Oh It three per. I know, they' very delighted with all the free press. No, It's Dream drink time. Yes. Your dream drink was a love me good cocktail. which has never. Wome back on the podcast. know whos ordered a Love Me Good for Mouf Cherry liqueur and whiskey. You still love a Lvee Good? It was from and I went back to the cocktail bar It was from a cocktail bar in New York. Oh my god, it was so delicious and I keep on what a surprise forgetting the name of the cocktail bar. because it was something like airport lounge, but it wasn't airport lounge. And I made a point to try and tell you guys T track it down afterwards and I have forgotten it again. So you the real about this hotail? Oh Does anyone know what the name of the bar was Thank you. Very good Domino hs. But since then I have changed it to Is it a whiskey sour? Which is one with the egg whites on top Wh It's egg whites in it Yeah. And I was working with Jameson Whiskey for a while and they made me my own cocktail guys, my own version of it with Jameson Whiskey, and they made it green for Staint Patrick's Day 'cause my birthday day before. As if you guys did you going get a fucking cake right now We're so much shit. get out of those shuckles and go and get us a cake. Tie yourself a little weed. Anyways I keep on looking behind because I don't know what direction's going but anyways, you guys think. Love it if at the end he just runs full pel on stage a Kate, trips over and smashes his face into it'll be had to go Benita going a cake. So yes, and it was dyed green with something and had liqueur in it as well. Oh my Godd, it was absolutely fantastic, delicious. I've gott to say, actuallyh, that sounds absolutely foul I know, now that I describe it. But you would have drank one ' I had them at my birthday party and I remember because I had a loadum being handed out in the start of my birthday party and everyone had a great time. and then the next day everyone had very bad days afterwards. Very, very bad load. Yeah, we called it the Day of the Green shit. Yeah ye H is' Batick today. I've gone all out this year. I made the road rise to meet you on your travels So yes, that's now my current favorite that was The green drink. the green drink with the egg whites on top. 'cause you can trick yourself into thinking it's like a protein shake. Yeah. Well, would you want to have a quick guess at what Josh has picked? Another tea? Yeah..s cu of tea. I could put sh that Yeah yeah. When I said a cocktail, look how much detail I went into to just describe a cocktail. That's what I mean.nt Would there be no more Because for me, everyone doesn't everyone just describe their cup of tea in case like a terrible disappointment is en route? You can't just say that and expect someone to bring you the drink you want. There's such a vast array of the ways you can make your tea. To be fair, when Josh came from the podcast, he was promoting his tour which is called Not My Cup of tea, so I think he just kept saying tea to. Interesting. interestnteresting. Okay. is the Branding. So tea, yes, tea. I understand. Yeah. Yes. I once did room one hundred one withith Heston Bluumental And he said have you should put the milk in first or a cup of tea. and that's the right way to make a cup of tea I mean, look a sort of food he cooks, you know what I mean? Wild and wacky. Of course a man puts his milk into his tea first is on how a person should behave during the normal day. But then what to get, okay, so this isn't funny at all. this is just the science. I'm not a scientist, but then who is? Putting the tea bag in and then allowing boiling water infuses and allows the tea to escape. If you put a tea bag into cold milk What you want is milk I don't understand why anyone would ever put a milk into the because then the tea can't be used. And there's no point you're not really using the bag But I think it all tastes the fucking same personally. Oh, it's Marmight to you. It's all Marmind. It's all Marmight to you. What I used to like to do, I don't really drink tea. I drank a lot of squash when I was a kid, Blew my mind the first day, I filled up the glass of water and then poured the squash in after the water Watch it all move around. You have to understand children. The nineties were a different time. We didn't have the internet. We didn't have the pornography addictions. We had to We go over squash. putut our squash in last if we wanted to frill Pour your squash in last, rub your tummy. That's what I did In Ireland, the squash isn't called Robinson's, it's called My Waddy And yes. What's it called? My waddie James. My w Myadie. My wadie shout out to my wadie drinkers My My waddy. My waddy We can's so sorry, but it is a funny country sometimes, isn't it? It's called My waddy. My waddy. My waddy. And It's got one word? It's M I W ADI my wdy My wdy. And we And I used to drink as a teenager vodka my wady. And that was my drink was vodka my wadie.ike that was a great cocktail in my town. And I remember coming to London for the first time and being at the bar and being like, how can I get a vodka my wady? And they were like, Oh, sorry, what bkes? And I was like, just a vodka what in my wady I'm sorry and to sit there and have to explain to them. Excited man. Yeah. What I meant. And he was like, Do you mean Robinson'? I was like, I don't know they are. I just didn't know what but squ you call it squash or Robinson's here? Yes. Yeah. Not my waddy. L it out. Sipping my wdy. Sipping on my wdy. just did it bdy. Okay, the anou'm seeing a Sam Campbell, something that's not helping anyway Ain't seen that son Allight, All of you do yourself a favour after this. Oh is in Sam Campbell's Ricky Grea? Yes it's incredible That is funny, man. Yeah. And then you'll fe back to me singing sipping M what and you go, yeah, that was good. Yeah So he wants to have a cup of tea. I mean, are you happy to have tea? am of tea in this meal? I have tea all day long at all points. It's left all over the house I go collecting in the evenings, I literally have a little basket and I go collecting the teas from around the house Kind of like, again, my memory probably isn't the best. I'm like, o look at cheeky old me, like little leaster eggs around the house. Look at the end of signs, but with tape. Youave seen signs? No, I haven't actually, James I laughed along to Yes, Andw, but I to be honest, was frankly lost. Throughout the whole film, a littleittle girl is like She drinks these glasses of water she just doesn't finish them Yeah. And she just leaves them around the house. And spoiler alert here if you haven't seen signs But you know, it's been It's been a long time But at the end the aliens turn up and Jacking Phoenix well Mel Gibson realizes, this is how long ago this film was. Mel Gibson realizes that the way to defeat the aliens is like they're allergic to water so it gets Wacking Phoenix to go around and swing a baseball bat and smash all the glasses so all the water goes on the aliens. And then the aliens run away from the planet Because I guess one person hits them ball or one of them. So I'm saying it's like signs, but with tea. Yeah. Do go home, watch signs and then you'll think, Oh yeah, that was good. Yeah. Yeah. Be so she left loads of glasses of half drunk water everywhere like I drink tea because with me they said it was ADHD, but maybe it'll be the aliens Yeah, it could be that there's an alien invasion going to happen. AHT, No, I'm going to say that. I've just got to say it really quickly AHT Fantastic workout gamble. One clap with that person really is important. ADHP That is actually a Hollywood casting director, that you like that. And she liked your work. Let's get on to the dream dessert here. Now you chose Haznut and Pcan tart, which you said was in your dressing room tonight.ery nice ofenito to do that. Yeah, very nice touch. Again, no birthday cake. it's not like there was a candle in us. they were just a little thing that you guys did for me but I genuinely hope he sorted out now This half has been an hour and ten minutes. I'm pretty sure he's had enough time to do it. If he hasn't done it, He's fired. He will definitely be sat back there going. They don't think I do anything and do this show. They think I've got something to get a birthday cake They don't value me at all. Poor benito, poor bo. That's what sounds like. Here's what's gonna happen, right at the end We sayy and then all the light's gonna to go down. And then the candles will come in and everyone' sing happappy birthday and then you'll blow the candles out and the lights come on and there'll be no cake. I' go, Darm I no. It was just a plate of candles. Yeah And I'll be old Moby again. Well Yes, I will change my dessert and I'll tell you what I'm going to change my dessert to and this is for my mother. My mother makes, do we call it a dish? It's literally served in a dish, so I'd say we can call it a dish. My mother makes thing called a lemon balm. And it is notorious with anyone who's come to ever visit my mother's house because the lemon balm can give you a bit of a lemon balm It is made of basically cream, sugar and shaved lemon. and it's been my mother's go to dessert to make for people since the nineteen eighties, which is the same probably lemon balb she keeps in the freezer. She defrosts it gets out a slice for a guest, puts it back in the freezer. One time my cousin Lorraine found an earwig in her slice And I was going out with someone who had ulcerative colitis, which is a very serious disease. Luckily he'd been in remission for a while until he had my mother's eleon and then it set off a period of ill health and she said that was down to weakness. but it was Absolutely because that lemon balm had been in that freezer for as long as freezers haven't been invented, I'd say. It an earwig. An earwig. I was like, I don't mind that, That's natural. And clearly at one point it had been because you put make it in a bowl and then freeze it and then you turn it up and go tada, and then you take it off and it's just a helmet of cream. And o no. takeake out these sort of slices. And then at some point while it was sitting on the table defrosting an ear wave sorry. I haven't heard a thing you've said since help me bit of Korea. An ear wave you got in there It's very much like a sort of Irish Jurassic park You know in Jurassic Park where they show the montage of how the little mosquito got stuck the in sam the tree sam. Yeah. It was like this earwid got stuck in this leatheron bomb and then In future time, scientists are going to be like There'll be DNA there to recreate Irish people. T me know Well Thats my nude is our choice. Okay, well Let's see if Josh Whicacom chosen a here were in a lemon bom. Josh Whitacom's Dream dessert is Christmas chocolate and a cup of tea Another cup of tea for you, Ashley? Yes. Again, I just at least this time he said he wants it in a cup, which is just a bit of branching out. R than just tea. Yes. What was the bit before the tea? Christmas chocolates. Christmas chocolates. The sorts of chocolates you might get at Christmas. I believe that lint bs were talked about quite a long mash makers. What chocolates are the beehouseold? Well I worked in retail for many Christmases And I used to work in the Tommy Hillfinger shop as my mother called it. And there was a woman who went around passing out lindor balls and there weret many people coming into the shop, so every time I'd be like, h up with the Lindor balls and now I can't even thes they are technically delicious, but as the buttery little bowls go down my neck Please Benito, don't do me dirty and clip that bit match with some of James's absolute terrors this evening I just still I taste retail, bad lighting and a seventeen versions of I don'. And I'm like, that's what I taste when I taste in indoor bowls Yep So can he do it no more, James? I can he And I will he with Lindor Bs. So what would you have for your Christmas chocolates though Well at Christmasuck, does he mean roses like tins of roses and? It could be we didn't speak about roses. We spoke about celebrations. We spoke about matchmakers and we spoke about. Matchmakers. Yeah Are is that a chocolate? That's a chocolate. They' sort of like thin they're thin sticks of chocolate. there's mint ones and there's orange ones you can get as well. you like them Just don't like the b of a thin mint stick. Christmas, live a little, do you know what I mean? You can be brushing your teeth now Wh's watching you? do you know what mean? what are you Santa's been and gone. You've got three hundred and sixty four days to be good to make up for. Just be bad for a second. I don't have a minint stick on Christmas You can eat them stick by stick, sure and that's not fun. But I used to do as a fat little boy Would I'd grab a whole bushel. A bushel of steak. And I just can go to town on it, you know love I can do that. Yeah, you can do that. I still don't like the idea of a minintstick. It just feels like teetothbrush in disguise. Tothbrush, Tetothbrush What is the plural. I have one toothbrush, many toetothbrush Jon, before we go, Jorna to quickly rank the Roses. Rank the Rses. It's time to play. rank the Roses. Praline one, obviously number one What obviously. Yeah, obviously. What thereen triangle? Did I stutter Talling obviously number one. Ovly Green triangle, is that not in the I was gonna to say the coronation streies Oh, sorry, am I I'm getting my chocolates mixed up? Yes, I Green triangles, Cnation street. Gre triangle or Cnation street sweets. Yeah, Pline ones, orange ones as I've grown older, I'll accept. And then I do like orange chocolate. I just don't like that fake, sugary syrup that's in a chocolate, which I think is fair enough actually And I don't like fake friends and I don't like fake oranges U Well then No do you know what, I'm boring myself. I'm not going to continue. Okay. Ashley, one more thing we do have to talk about from your episode. Your episode set off a chain of events in the world of Hollywood You You revealed a specific bit of celeb gossip, big celeb gossip on art. sorry, James just tried to drink some water and it went all over the floor. What you looking for, brother ust looking to see where it went on me. I'm fine. Just just got the side of my leg a little bit. We need to sell those t shirts so its like a wet t shirt competition. Sell them merch, baby Did somebody say water? go on J? You revealed on the podcast that Paul Rudd doesn't like sauces? Yes How's that impacted your life since you revealed that piece of information? Thank you for ha. What a real person tonight who doesn't like sauces by the way. A real person. that's the person who li like hard gravy. I remember her name. I like my gravy, I like my men M so you don't like sauces either. Lucy Clark What's your name there? Lucy, Lucy. So would you admit to that? Because here's what happened with me. I worked with Paul Rud, we had a great old time. The man does not eat sauces. I'm talking all sauces or condiments. I sat with him, I ate with him. I looked into that man's eyes as he went every time I had ketchup, ketchup. Then James and him, James goes full Hollywood, does the ghostbusters movie with him. Don't worry about it. James is so relaxed He invites him on the podcast. Paul comes on and does me an he does he goes on and goes, Yeah, I know Ashing said that, but I don't know, I kind of don't mind him sometimes. And he marmighted it. Yeah. He didn't mind either way And I was so annoyed and hurt. Ting bamasson for you. And then I tricked him into coming over to my house to see my baby. Clever. The new baby But really good anyim. Pull, comeome over to the house and see the to the house. you want to see a baby? G sureore. And then I forced him into a confession. And you've brought the confession with you, haven't you? D did bring the confession with me. We can play the confession to the royal Ab Hall, but And rightly so. Yeah, ever what Yeah. Ah, Hi everyone. I feel like I should probably Tow we're making this video. I'm over at Ashley's house right now and she's not pleased with me. No. I just feel like you threw me under the bus and off my new podcast Because I went on there and I told my truth, which is that I know that you don't like condiments. and that created a whole thing and then they invited you on the show. And when you were on there, I feel like you underplayed it like you're like, what? Is a dam do? I suppose I like some of them If I remember correctly and by, there's a good chance I don't remember correctly because let's faceink. I was blastered.. I think I said something about barbecue sauce which I could handle U because I do have barbecue But you're right And I apologize. Whatould do you eat that?. Would you eat this? It's a relish Is it? Yes. No. No. Would you eat this mayonnaise? No. E the vegan one. The fact that there's two different kinds of mayonnaise makes me hate them twice as much. Would you eat this look at them? I don't wanna look at it. What about a mustard pl? Oh You see, you don't like condiments. I don't like any of those I'm sorry. I didn't need to throw you under the bus. So Ed Gamel and James A Caser, please just write the wrong. This one only gets my name. please for saake the child. I forgot that was in it. I forgot the baby was in it.ing Perfect. good. Appreciate that a lot So what's your final verdict of Josh Woodiham's menu? I think that we should be nicer to Josh And I think that menu is a cry for help When you say we should be nice to Josh, do you think it's a bit late, bearing mind every time we put a picture of him up? you say you look like a pony. You said, yeah, yeah. Yeah yeah. said find the worst photo. I called him a tiny pony. Yeah. I'll take it back sh. ye. I think we should all love him for the beautiful man that he is He's got a hair like foozillily or as you would call it Lauren pasta Beautiful gentlemen Great friend, good man, lover of tea U And yeah, I think his menus says that he craves safety in many ways actually you know. Comfort Comfort donon't you think Yeah Oh, there he is, Josh. He were here the whole time Imagine if we'd sort it out for Josh to be just lowered from the se. Withs a birthday cake.. Stop talking about the birthday cake. I know, I ruin my own surprises. Ter if we had sorted that out and then we forgot. And then at the end of our residency on the fourth night, he just drops down dead Skeleton. Yeah. been up there for so long. Still got his full head of hair Paddington comes along Domino. Oh that'd be great if Patton said don know. Thank you so much, Ashle. forre coming on and eating Josh's dream meal. Let me wipe the Franco Manca number five off my lips. This is how deep it. See, you're doing what the editor did to Emily Blunt in the alien film. You're leaving me hanging. I was just committing to the bit. Yeah. I just remembered when you were doing that, I just remembered again when you said the buttery balls going down Y inceells are all the same You see, when this podcast started, they barely even got a photograph. And now it's all filmed and everything and people can see us, but it used to be there'd be some nuance in just the spoken word alone, James, but no more So' tits and teeth with you guys. I' having to wear the merch and everything, Bloody hell, whichich is nice actually because I do call my boobs Gambling Acaster Together they are Titskamar You sent sail the march T try me a good friend, you said sell the merch. You said sell the merch. It's comear. Wush the merch. We could Happy birthday to you What' happy birthday to you Happy birthday Where's my candles? Happy birthday to you Guys I'd imagine Ashling we couldn't clear candles with the health and safety. And I'll be honest, whenever I see a col in the caterpillar with candles, it looks like a beast from hell. Eat the face. Eat the face. eat the face, eat the face. You people are mean face. You people are e Oh no, why are you eating much jles? Oh my, no one's ever put a microphone up to his face while he's been eaten I'm so sorry. I youre leaving the eyes so we can see everything until the last minute. Yeah. You were famous once, Colin P sky can't see shock. He's crying as a single tear. We could see it. He was just going, Thank you for everything M. I it was beard e. Anan Ashling, thank you for everything, M. You've been absolutely fantastic.. everybody theseese two boys, I always believed in them. I knew they was going to go far. No one else did everyone to their face and behind their backs like that was a piece of shit. No one likes them in a comedy circuit. You'll never do anything, No one listen. but look at them now Once more Rhley B G everyone. Thank you so much much. H have a nice weeday. than you. We'll see you in the next two nights of be coming to Mon. Thank you very much. Bee There we go everybody. There we go, that was Ashonb at the Royal Abt Hall. Prety good. talalking to us immediately afterwards. Her partner came into the dressing room, open the fridge and a bottle of wine fell out the fridge and smashed. Yes on the floor. It was brilliant. It was like the Roy Alberall bottle of white wine. Yeah abbsolutely ked Yeah. and then they had to sweep it up. It was carpet as well. So there's like bits of glass in the carpet All that It was brilliant. He felt really bad. Yeah, let me tell you. seen. he didn't need to. I've seen him a couple of times since then and he' still apologized. He's still absolutely mortified. Yeah. So we're bringing it up now. Yeah. they can feel better. Yeah But he's a great guy. Great guy. So he didn't feel bad And Ill tell you who else doesn't need to feel about as Ashton B for great being so fantastic. Yes. Once again. fantastic guest. And it was our first show that w up at Hall of Sex, so there's more of these to come. Crazy. Absolutely crazy. It really is it's disgraceful. You know, bonus episode out of it. Yeah, and there'll be more just around the corner. Bye bye, byye bye