Dream Drink and Dessert

This is Cat and Nat from Cat and Nat Unfiltered and this episode is sponsored by Michael's, your destination for all things birthday parties. If you've ever planned a birthday celebration, you know it goes from cute idea to full on chaos real fast. The party shop at Michaels makes life easier with over four thousand five hundred party supplies and sixty plus themes Bluey, rodeo, soccer, rainbow, and more. Starting at just ninety nine cents. you can shop same day delivery or order online for pickup in store and they even do free helium inflation on Sack Balloon styles. Michael's everything to celebrate anything. visit Michael's in store or shop online Now You've got social dialed in Search is doing its thing. So why do your marketing results look the same as six months ago? That's because you're fishing in the same pond as everyone else. Podcast listeners are a different audience entirely. more engaged, harder to reach through traditional channels, and ready to act when someone they trust makes a recommendation We're a caste, and we put them right in front of you Browse thousands of the world's leading podcasts, book host reads or run your own ads, and track every conversion in real time. Same skills you already have, brand new results. Acast Acast d. com slash advertise Welcome to the off menu podcast taking the dirty Martini of conversation. stuffing the blue cheese of chap into the big fat olives of humor and dropping those bad boys into the dirty martini Sorry everyone listening it's a filfy Martini. We're doing these visually now, so I'm trying to give it a bit more pizaz at the top Yeah, yeah, we try to give it as much. That as a gamble. My name is James Das. So together we own a dream restaurant and every singlek we invite a guest Nowing in their favorite ever star Maincorse dessert, side dish and drink, not in that order. And this week our guest is Michelle Wolf Wolf Michelle Wolf. What a comedian Michelle Wolf is James. Such a phenomenal comic. I remember the first time Michelle Wolf did Edinburgh and everyone was talking about That was the first time I introduced to Michelle's com by Storm Yeah. and it's only got on to better and better things since Everyone loves Michelle Wolf. Yes. And she's about to do a show the best job in the world around the UK, June July and you can get tickets from punch upp d. live forward slash Michelle Wolf Very excited to see Michelle here her dream menu. Yes. But of course, if Michelle does choose a secret ingredient, which we deem to be unacceptable, we willll be forced to kick Michelle Wolf out of the dream restaurant. Now you've picked this one, James. Yes. this week, the secret ingredient is Wolf Kola which is something from It's always only in Philadelphia, which Michelle was not in. No, but Michelle's surn name is Wolf. Wolf. Yes, so I do get the connection When I think about Wolf, this is what I think of 's Wolf Cola, which is the Cola. I don't think it actually exists. It's a fake brand of Coola. for humor is for humor. invented by Dann DeVito's character But even in the world of always Suny it doesn't exist. Yes. Like Frank has invented it but he's pretending to be Dct. Mantis Tobogan. And he says that he you know has he's say Wolf Cola. Yes So like So if Michelle picks that I'll have explained that. Yeah Well, she'll know about it, I guess. Well, yeah, she's not going to pick it. She's not going to say Wolf Kohla, what's that from Yeah, yeah, she know it. Yeah. So I'll say You should' have known better. You're out. Yeah. You're out of here. Get out of it, Michelle. But hopefully that won't happen. I'm pretty sure. I think we can be pretty positive. It's not gonna happen. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Um, I'm going on tour as well It must be said, twenty twenty seven Fresh hell. Fresh hell. Ed gambble. co Uk for tickets Very exciting, Ed. L forward to seeing that show. Thanks, man, me too. I'm looking forward to chatting to Michell Walk This is the off menu menu of Michelle Welcome Michelle to the Dream Restaurant Thank you. Welcome Michelle Wolf to theream restestaurant, but it's beening you for some time. Thanks I sorry, my reactions are I really I feel like I don't even know where I am. I've literally been with both of my children for like two straight weeks with no help And then I traveled and the flat is a mess and it's just I forgot to I brought the one baby to the studio and I' bring diapers or wipes, like the essentials that you need. I remembered the baby and that's it. Yeah. When you guys were very nice and you offered me cake. and that's the first thing I've eaten all day to day. Y. What time is it? two, one? It's quarter past two. Yeah. Yeah, that's the first thing I've eaten. I'm running on coffee Yeah. How This is how we like our guests. Yeah slightly on edge. Yeah Yeah, we want you to on the verge of just going fully insane. to the point where you guys just welcomed me and I was very much like, what's happening? Yeah It was like you properly were in another dimensional of a suden like you've been zpped this dimension. Yeah like having an adult conversation. Yeah. And it was Edge's birthday cake, which I Having cake is the first thing you've eaten all day and it's gone o'clock It is one thing but it being birthday cake It's even like Yeah, that's even worse. And I had a part of a birthday cake that you haven't even had yet. I greetatedly started your cake. Well, you know, youck you checked before. I did. You said Just be polite. you know. No, I'm not polite around food. if I thought I want to start that, I would say to you, abbsolutely not, keepep your hands off that. Yeah could. This is mine to start. Yes. he's not polite ot polite be food. Yeah. Thank you James. What think is f is it j? Yeah Food just knock it out of your hands. Yeah, absolutely. Don't like sharing. Yeah. Don't want any of that. Really? Not a food sharer. Well, I feel like I've had to become a food sharer because I'd say what ninety percent of restaurants are now small plates sharing concepts. Yeah. So have have to I have to be a sharer. Right. But I'd rather get two of the same small plate and have one to myself. Right. Okay ye. Well, I'm the exact opposite. if I never had to order full meal. This was a very stressful thing for me to pick out my menu. Yeah. because I'm not love I love a bits. I love to have let's just order a bunch of stuff and we'll all have some of it. Yes.'t I don't get I got to dinner a lot because I don't I'm like, let's just all share. Wh's having their own meal? I don't want me A little bit of everything. Yeah. if I My real dream meal is paste d'ouvves Just standing around having pleasant conversation with two or three people that I could walk away from. Yeah So if your dream milk, you want to be standing. Standing with small bites of food being handed to me. Yeah intervals that I have no control over Michelle, we've done hundreds of episodes of this podcast. No one has ever said they want to be stood up for their dream meal. You're the first one. Yeah. Well there we go. Yeah. I guess that's why you have the best job in the world Yes, the best She love stand it up? Well done. What a segue. That is I mean, it's amazing, isn't it? Top notch segue to my new hour of stand upp that I will be touring here in England I'm supposed to say just England because I'm not going to other parts of the UK yet. Okay And best job in the world, My new hour. slightly unhinged because I I'm' I'm flailing. I am I don't I'm holding it together barely but it's together. Yeah. And that's the important thing. Yeah. Well, you and I were doing back to back work in progress shows in London last year. and I would arrive all week, I'd arrive and I'd hear like the last few like ten minutes of your show Every time raising the roof. Well, thank you. That was work in progress. So this is gonna I'm presuming you're sort of raising the roof throughout the whole hour. James' insinuation there was the last ten minutes insinuation. That's all I heard. Well, I mean, I was about to say that I would hope the last ten minutes are good. It's the middle part that's always the you know, like start strong I'd just love it if you were doing fifty minutes of pure silence. Yeah. And every time James arrived was the exact moment that the roof came off. You had someone run in from the theaterre and be like Act happy. Start talking. Have you ever done UK tours before or England tours before? I've only ever done I've done like London, Manchester, like the Yeah. The standard American comes over and does places. You've done the Freninge before. done Yeah. And yeah, this is my first time going to other places and I when I put it on tour, I peopleeople were also like, Are you going to come farurther north? 'use I'm not traveling that far. But the reason is is because I'm basing myself in London and I have a toddler and a five month old and I'm only traveling to places I can go up and back Yes in one, you know, one go. So I will as soon as they get older, I promise I will go away from them For as long as I can, really. will I will travel. I will stay in a hotel by myself It'll be It would be a dream. Well, but Michelle, you might somewoneere else say was' a far away look in your eyes. I can't even imagine man, they sleep with me. It's really this is a b boot. They're both in the right now is the bed bed they're both in the bed both in the bed with.ow. Yeahah, yeah and One I nursed the one and then the toddlers over there just desesperately trying to play with my belly button I don't know what it is just like and it doesn't I don't know. you might think You might think, o, that's nothing, but it's really weird. Yeah invvasive. Yeah. And it's just all the time. Yeah, you know? Yeah now I think about it. I mean, I very rarely think about my belly button. Right. So if someone's constantly's like prodding away at the belly button,, you're very aware you have a belly button and I can imagine that's quite uncomfortable. Yeahah just like really digg it in there. know? You got an any? Yeah, you've got an anyie. Yeah Almost regretfully at this point, I have an innie because if I had an outie, I feel like it might feel a bit better. But the innie is just a little tiny little finger. I've been talking about this on stage. I don't think I've seen an outie for maybe twenty five years I think if you have an Audi, you had a You had someone who was pretending to be a doctor deelliver you. And that's how they cut the umbilical cord and it was just a They were in a rush. Yeah, it was just it wasn't a it wasn't Yeah, they just were like, h Yeah Yeah Yeah. Okay think Yeah, because they can make out it's like you talk about inies and outies and night, you forget that it's just It's not just how you are bored It sub. Yeah some docks slipping away and going that's what they go. But have you seen an oututy In like, I don't hear about outies anymore at school. L I heard about, you know, I was obsessed with like, who's going any who's outty, right? feel like we were in an episode of Seerence. But Yeah, I haven't seen an nty. Yeah. Did we imagine if we just imagined? I supposed to imagineed the Mandela effects? I feel Yeahah, I feel like it was something we talked about in the school yard all the time. Yeah. And I don't know if anyone had one. Yeah, it was like Jets V shocks. Yeah these ans, wasn't it? Yeahah yeah that cheheck your own. Pin mine's flush You're a robot mate. Well a robot. I H jll. I don't know but Yeah littleittle button there Are you a foodie? you much of a foodie I am and I'm not at the same time. likeike I like I'm the middle Pennsylv But then my brother became a chef. and so Like I didn't have real green beans, like we had canned like tinned green beans until I don't know. I don't think I had like a fresh green bean until I was in my twenties So Growing up it was very much just like This is what we eat. And then my brother became a chef and now it's like Oh. how many types of cheeses there are you know like and I don't know. And so I've been to some really nice restaurants and had some very, very excellent food. and then also I I I don't know. I love like notot really food You know, it's just a bunch of talkalk us through some of these things. What are your favorite notot foods? Oh my gosh The brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts. right ye yeah ye. They're absolutely delicious. I love a cheese curl with the The puffy ones, not like the Cheetos. Right, yeah, yeah. that really covered in like sort of dust Yeah, like luminous sort of cheese dust. Yeah. I in America recently and I was very excited at the cinema that you could get a mixture of coffee pop, like caramel popcorn and cheese popcorn. Very excited about that. Yeah it tasted nice, but then I looked at my hand to have it it just completely orange. Yeah. and I don't know if I got the smell out for like two days. That's the smell that's not going anywayere. No, it's not. And it's because it's not it's a chemically made product First of all, what movie did you see? I was watching the new I was watching The Bone Temple What is the bone? new twenty eight? like okay, okay Yeah. Also, I saw your clip on Seth Myers and that was you said one of the funniest things I've heard in a very long time. was the You made a dog come. Yeah. ye. that was yes So, so funny. And also I used to work with Seth. I used to write on a show I didn't He was my boss. I made it sound like we were partners. the amount I know he thought it was funny, but also was probably like I can't I can't I can't r with. I can't riff off the bus. Yeah He doesn't know how to I don't feel like like I remember one time I wrote a joke for him that said something about I don't even think it said I think it referred to periods and he like dropped the paper on the ground. It's just he gets really like. And so watching you say made a dog come and then his reaction and then hearing Mike Shumemaker laugh in the background, who's the producer, I was just like, this is the best This is the best clip I've seen on the internet in years. And now you know, his hand stunk of cheese when that was happening. My hand stunked cheese. Next time I go on I'm doing a period joke. one hundred percent. You just say yourself heard you just got your periods. Straight away. My favorite bit was the incredibly specific reference to Americans loving Du. That was before it started going well It was a tough gick until I was said about making the dog come. isn't a very American thing Be I don't know, it got to like American TikTok or something like that. this is what I thought. Yeah. Yeah. I thought every time our American friends or people from the industry come over, they're always like, please can we go to DS. the only reason I know is because my brother and his girlfriend came over and they were like, well, we gotta go to DSum. Yeah. And I'd never heard of it You're getting your own one now in America. Oh wow. There's one opening in New York and stuff like that. So like, you know, it won't be as much of a novelty anymore. No, we'll be able to queue. We won't need to queue to get into our own dumomes anymore. if you guys will around the block. I feel like it willll not do well in America. Yeah. I feel like there people will be like Indian Yeah, could have an it's not as popular a cuising. Well, there's a gym Kanner in New York now, and an ammbassador'souse. Yeah, and I went to Ambassador's Clubhouse for my birthday last night Amazing restaurant and they've just opened in New York. It's apparently going well, but to be fair, the person who told me that was the manager of Ambassador's Club house.. I feel like you wouldn't be like by the way It's not doing well. I'm not good. money. Everyoneidual. And while I have here, let me talk about what's happening with Jim Connner. The show are opening apparently? Good luck, the. Quickly on the popcorn, shout out Garret's popcorn. Big shout out. Yeah. Oh boy, that stuff. becausecause the first time I had that, you'd probably the same as you. When you went on Conan to do the stand up? No, no. So I thought you' say, Amy Nish brought me to B backford Dubai Airport. No No, they they used to give you a big tin of Garr's popcorn. Yeah. like have that, have that popcorn And I was like, you know, it was popcorn right? And then eating the cheese and caramel mix one incredible And then I bought some at Chicago Airport when I was in America and just ate on the plane and incredible. Yeah G is the world. Yeah. I only know them from Chicago's airport. I'm sure you can get them other places, but I just know them from the airport. Do you guys do the Christmas tins of popcorn? No Okay, so in America, we have these tins of popcorn that you can get it like any store that's like into three sections and then one side is caramel, one side is cheese and then they have it's cut into like three like The biggest side, ' there's like two small sides and then a big side and that's And no one wants the butter, but it's the biggest section. Yeah. And you that's the only way they're not selling the tin with just the two. They know what they doing. Yeah. know they were like This is the cheapest one to make. Yeah. We'll put the most of that in there Yeah. and then You know, some parents going to be like You can't You got to finish this ten until we can get a new one. Yeah. There's a bunch of kids just shhovel it in popcorn they don't like. bes. I bet there'd be some big spenders out there buying two tinons of popcorn, throwing away the butter and putting cheese and w. You mixed in there. Probably. That's probably what the adults that grew up having to eat the butter are doing now. Yeah, yeah. Not that they have any sort of disposable income th They used to dream of that when they were kids. Yeah they used to talk about tip the but a differ enough to tip the b. My brother used to make I have two older brothers and we had that cream sickle ice cream, which is like vanilla and orange sherbt. He used to make my brother eat the vanilla because he only liked the orange shherbert part And my mom wouldn't let him wouldn' she wouldn't buy new ice cream th the old ice cream was gone And so my poor middle brother just eating vanilla ice cream all the time where my older brother's getting all the good orange Sherbert. Yeah. Well what have they both become now? Well, the older one's a chef. The Sherbert loving one's a chef, and the other one works in insurance.. Yeah.'d if he'd had the orange the orange sherb side. he might be a chef as well. He might be a chef or, you know, I don't know be living wild and crazy l instead. Yeah. It could be a ca on a boat somewhere. Yeah. instead, he's you know, vanilla insurance. Yeah. You eat vanilla all the time. you to work insurance. that makes perfectense. He goes, I need stability. I need to be available when people need me to eat the things that they don't want Ne consistency as of day. Yeah We always start with still or sparkling water.ichelle, Do you have a preference? Well, I like sparkling better because ever since I've had these children, I'm so thirsty all the time. so now I drink still water Yeah. But someday in the future I'll go back to sparkling. I'm breastfeeding at the moment, so I need as much liquid as possible. And so I just have I need still. Do they advise drkingark against drinking sparkling water when you're breastfeeding? No, it's just I find it harder to drink You know, like I can't take big gulp Yeah. and I'm always very thirsty. I love I love sparkling water and I feel like it makes me fuller like especially if I'm starting a meal and I'm like, okay, don't eat all the bread. don't eat all the bread And she justs have some sparkling water to fill the liquid bread. Yeah.. It's everyone's favorite liquid bread But yeah, now I'm relegated to still. I would I I'll finish this whole thing. For your dream though Beause you stood up in my dream. You standing up Yeah Yeah of course Talking to. We didn't say who you'd be talking to while the' deuv are going around, but we're aware that you want to be able to leave the conversation you know as soon as you. I mean preferably it's only like one or two of my very good friends. You know or like someone I love to chat with and not someone I don't really know and have to make small talk with. Who are your top two friends? My top two friends,, canan I name four Yeah. Okay, becausecause we're all on one group too.. Rank them. R. Yeah, ye. Okay, okay, I'll do it this way. We're gonna have Kelly Elaine Naki Stacey How do you That's unranked. That's unranked. How do you know that Th those are which just four of my best friends and I met I met them through Comedians None of them do comedy, but one's married to a comedian and then the others just comedy ad Jason and we're all friends and And it's lovely because they understand comedy, but they're not like, you know. I think that says a lot about comedians that your best friends, you met them through comedans. They're like I' been with these lovely women that are unfortunately attached to these guys deal with us. Now both as a spouse and a friend. Yeah. Can we each have one guess each who the comedian is that they're married to? Sure, yeah Just guess any comedian. Yeah I have to think of American comedians I'm doesn't have to be am Ddy Murph Eddie Murphy's wife Is Eddie Mur's? you married? I think's married right? I don't know. It was a big swing anyway, I'll be honest. No, it's not. I've never I've never met him or his wife. But I'm sure his wife would be added to the teext group if you did me, or I'm sure she's lovely I mean, listen, we are a tight knit group and I don't know if she'd fit in. And there's nothing against her. It's more about the friend dynamic we already have. Sure, yeah, yeah. It takes a lot to crack those dynamics sometimes. yeah, yeah. And I will I also say that it's Also then when you're tal to Eddie Murph's wife, there is always the suspicion that it might be Eddie Murphy dressed up, right? Yeah ye. Yeah, you never know. I never know. Anyone from his family. Yeah, yeah. it could be him. That's a really good point. Yeah. And now I can't be friends with her. Yeah exactly because it'll be in the back of my head I whole time.ah. Unless it's Hercules. He's not played by Edie Murphy Hercules the the little kid Oh I think he was the Gk. Yeah the go.' isn't either. In the clubs there's a kid who's called Hercules and he's not played by H Murphy. That's just a little kid. And he shows off his muscles and the mum's like show us your muscles and go. Hercules. Yeah. he's not b about that. Well, he's eating And the clapping is like this, right? Yeah got that. But he's doing. Well a lot of our podcastter.'s remembering things that happened in the club. That's all the podcter is I'm gonna go ahead and guess Kyle Kanain's wife I never met her. Is he married? I don't think so. I don't think he is either Love Kyle though. I had to go for something. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't have to go for someone. This is a game you invented I don't know. But even if you've invented it who. What are the rules. They rembers who invented, what? comeome And you would like spark them while you're standing up Yes, I would like sparkling water. prereferably with ice and a lemon Yeah It's actually this coffee shop I go to that I get a coffee and they give me a carafe of sparkling water and this glass with like Gorgeous ice cube And then you just pour the sparkling water over that and it's just an effervescent Would you want the water from that coffee shop? That your dream your dream. We do the water specifically from that coffee shop. the shop give it a shout. It's this saga coffee shop. I think I don't know if it's called Saga. I don't know if they also say coffee shop, but it's in Barcelona and it's just lovely. What makes an ice cube gorgeous for you U Well, this is something I've realized as I've gotten older is that You know how they say like it's the little things? I think it's just because you don't have O things to be happy about You know, so you're like, this ice cube made me really happy. And that's how I feel a lot about my life. Yeah. I like like a, you know, like a Something that looks like it's like really maintain the shape of whatever it was frozen in. You know, like I love those cube ones that you can just pop out of the in the freezer, like the the bigger cube ones that are like it maybe by inine. Oh ye, yeah something. And then the ones there though, they're like They're like a cylinder with a ho in the middle. Oh, wow, no. Yeahah. reallyally like Pene pasta Um a thicker, like like a I don't know I don't like that. Bad? Yeah. Yeah ye, it's just a little a phallic. a tiny penis. Cut that down a video episode Da. Welle are gonna run h wild andough? Bow out I be really bad if I started being like just a, you know just anyway, please don please don't draw a penis into my hand. Don't give them the idea and still do the thing. Yeah Ke doingiving them don't put any penises in my hands. That's all. Don't put anythingice. I'm a mother. I'm asking you nicely. We pbs orad. Poppbs are bread Michelle whooa, popp arbs are bread head We've already heard that you have to sort of prevent yourself from eating all the bread at the start of the meal. so we know you're a bread fan. Y. Is there any particular bread that you want on this dream meal? Um I really like u You know, when they, um, There's like a I don't know, they probably don't this is probably a very American thing. Sometimes they do like a selection of breads different types of breads. and sometimes they'll have like a little piece of foaccia that has like a little bit of sauce on it Um I love that little bite that little bite of a bit sauce on the f Yeah, yeah, we love to add unnecessary things in America. We'll just throw it on there. But it looks like it looks like someone had foacaca and then it was left overver and they put some sauce on it and they cut it up into squares. T moisten it up a bit. Yeah. Yeah tod be like, this isn't a dayam and then U yeah, and then yeah, I love that. I love it. It's always the beay in those bread. It's always the one you want the most that there's the least of, I think. Yes, because they'll like pad it out with all the boring bread. like the p So the p Yeah It's like but they're making it Why are you making the stuff that people don't want? Like you must know, you must get the basket back at the end of the meal and'd be like, ah They still don't like this weird grainy one. May maybe that's why they maybe that weird grainy one then goes into the next basket. So essentially they're just retaining grainy bread all night until the basket is mainly gin. A Do you think restaurants do that? They're giving they're just the read from someone's bask. Some of them must be. Some of them must be and I sort of hope They are in a weird way rather than just chucking away a load of bread at the end of the night. Yeah, then you don't know what people have might have interfered with that bread. Someone might have been eating a bunch of cheese ps. Yeah old thinking that might have been picked it up to get the one they want and put it back in. I don't w want to eat that. Yeah you know what but I also like, so I just thought of it is that a lot of times on This is so sad that this is a bread I like. A lot of times on airplanes, they'll offer you a bread and it's like the pretzel roll Yeah. I love a pretzel roll. This is someone who's traveled a lot for workust that's your dream bit where you sit now and you get the bread. You get a warm reheated pretzel roll. Would you like that? would you like airplane that's a roll with the catcher with the sauce? Yes, yeah, I'll take both of those. Do you think it tastes the same as it does on the plane Or you hear loads of stuff about they add so much extra salt to stuff on planes. I feel like if I got it I feel like if I got it on ground, I'd probably be like, what is this This is Three years old This is bad b. Yeah, this is Yeah, but on the plane, it's great But I think they just warmed it up too, you know, It's like if it wasn't touched by heat, it would probably be You like a rock, a tiny rock zel Rock. Why are you describing that for catcher? The other day I had I went to a restaurant called Perilla in Stuck Newington, shhout out And they they bought out at the top is little bites And it was called it's called Yesterday's Bread Soaked in muls, marine, you know, that it how's it spell? How itar Marin ye. Marin, yeah, that was a punt H You know like like you know what mar? know you get a big, like pot of muscles the all the sace, the creamy sauce. Yeah. So they've got these And had soaked them in that. delicious. It's an amazing machine. That sounds like a great way to use yesterday's bread too. It was so good. And it was like had like a Parmesan and like past they kind of tram on the top, I think it was. It was incredly. It was so good and could you were saying about held for catcha and it's nice and moist and it's some sort of it was exactly that kind of vibe I feel like now this is my I haven't even heard it and it Ted it and it sounds like it's my favorite bret This is so good It does sound exactly what you like what you describe. Yeah, it sounds delicious. And I knew that bread was good because I got a photo sent to me immediately. Straight night. He was in America. Yeah. I sent him the photo It went green on the text. So we didn't get it. So I had to go ono WhatsApp to send him the photo. Yeah and do that. inststead of we're on a text group with a bunch of other friends and his phone was messing the whole thing up. Oh you were green for however you were in America. No, because there was I mean, this is so boring, but there was an issue with an ESM. I was on an AIM and then it was using a different number and then I sought it out and so theant immediately received three pictures of bread from of different platforms But yeah, I had to send that the bread pick quite a few times you make sure you saw it. Yeah.'s important to me. Yeah, I'm glad that that's a good friend. You know you're like, he needs to see this and I'm try every avenue Did you send it to him on Instagram? email there pigeon pigeon are under my window three days later so good that brered. You did say you said sourdough and I will say unpopular opinion, don't like it S sourdough to sour Sh Yeah. I don't I don't want it sour. Yeah. I want it Well the reason I accidentally said sourdough is because they also did later on in the meal, they brought out a sourdough course. But it was good, I think you'd like it. Okay. It was sourdough that had seaweed in it Okay I think I would like that. And it wass very good. Yeah with this really nice butter. but I know what you mean. Sometimes like If it's not done, if it's just done just because it's like, oh, everyone likes sourdough. So we're just that's an easy like O just to see We'll just make some sourdoughs, send it out who cares? they'll like it no matter what But like, yeah, you can get a pretty bad one and get p. it's just everywhere, right? It's just it's the default bread now. I When did that happen? you know it It shouldn't be the default bread. It should be like, ooh, sourdough, that's interesting. Yeah, a nice rustic bread is lovely. Yeah And then yeah, maybe a sourdough I've also recently had smoked butter, which was very, very nice. Yes. ye. I really like that. Yeah, a good smoked butter. Yeah. salted as well. I love salted butter. If they if I've been to France enough times that I love their salted butter. But then sometimes like if you order like the breakfast in the morning, they bring you the unsalted butter and I'm like, trying to add salt to it to make it. Yeah. Yeah And I always end up too much salt. Anyway, this isn't a very exciting story at all, but I love salted butter. Salted butter ist now don't see the point of unsalted butter. I know people use it in baking and stuff, but keep it to baking. Don't brring me a pat of unsalted butter. No ons that. What are we doing? Even if you have it on like were adding jam or something, a salted butter Mm, Dlicious. So good. Salt goes well with sweet. just It's perfect. Yeah. Does any other food come in pats? Butter's the only food I can thinkinger that comes in a pat. I mean I don't know. I think so. I mean, even pati Yeah You can't even get a pot of pate Yeah I couldn't I mean, they should sell it. Yeah should sell little Yes you should have Yeah. Yeah. You could have pateate merch. Yeah. whereere you We keep saying we got to have like some sort of like you know, off menu branded food that we can get on the shelves of the supermarket. Yeah Maybe pate pats. Pate pat. Little pats of pate. Are you guys fans of patete Yeah, I like pate. I like a good pate I like a best thing to have is your m. It make you feel so so b. James his face on all the pats with a little speech but' say I can take it or. It is fine, This is fine If it's there'll have it. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But what's a part doesn't mean it has to be small, right So surely a slice of pate you could call a pate of pate 'Cacause the only other I don't know, I feel like Pat is a very specific size. No knows you guys Kalpie. They ain't do li shit so they don'. That's the only other time you hear Pat I feel like that's a distinctly different Vversion same word though isn't it? They both come out of cows. Yeah. Well, I mean, like but this is a pat too. Oh it's not a. Yeah yeah. Yeah. And then that's true. I guess like because words can have different meanings. Bds have different meanings. yeah. Just realize that. You can pat someone with your hand. Yeah. pat sharp. ye D you aren't no patch shop. I'm as a person though. He's not this big, though. Yeah He's not tiny. neverever met him. Yeah. Never met him. I don't know what night' celebrities, they're pretty small. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Okay, I'm willing to admit that yeah, you don't get a pat of pate. If someone brought you a massive plate of butter and they said there's your pack of butter. you d hold on. What's as big as a cow pat? What do you want for this? You didn't specify what kind of pat you wanted. Yeah, yeah. This is a butter shaped man. you're like this is a pat of butter. Yeah, yeah. Cuff your h in butter. just slap them on the butt There's your better butter? That's what you ask for. This is why I don't run a restaurant. I think you'd be good one Too pinickity about language though. Yeahah, too pinickotity. Yeah. By the great word Yeah, that is a great? Yeah. Pernicides Yeah, Penckes It's a great name for a restaurant. Yeah. Pinicate's pat of bate Oh wow. good luck over. Yeah. now we've gotten into a nursery ride. Yeah ye. Your dream starter My dream starter is, okay, at Nobu, they have this spinach dry miso salad that I love I could eat it every single day I don't know what makes a dry miso I love this salad. It's just a huge plate of spinach and whatever this dry miso dressing is G's good to have a guest on who has a favorite nobu dish is? in my No. no, this is perfect. We u We had Robert De Niro on this podcast. Oh yes. and spent a long co owner co owner of no boots, spent a long time trying to get any dishes out of him really? And none. No he just s think he's maybe never eaten there. No, he has, but he just kept saying they they bring me whatever's good But he tried that with every course we asked him for. He went, I just have whatever's good and we had to be like, we're going to have to nail you down on something here, Bob. We knew we' were going to fure end up at some point. So we obviously brought Noobu up because he, you know, he's a part owner of it or whatever. and he was like, I just have whatever's good And what we wanted from him is what you' just said. Yeah Pacific noble. Its we were this Yeah, yeah. So it's nice to finally get it. Yeah. yeah She's bad. So yeah, this tri. Becauseuse I can't imagine what dry miso is because it's wet. Every miso I've seen has been either in souper form or a wet sort of paste. Yeah, I don't know if it's L a You know, like a Boulon cube miso or somethingbe I don't know. They're dehydrating it or something and putting it in there But it's it's really good He should try it if he Be I feel like that's something they wouldn't bring out. They wouldn't be like, this is good today. Yes. You know. They wouldn't be like the spinach is particularly you. I'd imagine they're just absolutely shitting themselves in the kitchen. but yeah, he just said whatever's good. Wh is good. I' completely Yeah. It's undermined all my confidence. What did we give him last time There's like a running like menu of what you Yeah L a sharp the bob jarp. Yeah Yeah ye this last time. Did not give it to him again.. Michelle Wolf shouted this out. Yeah send that to It's good. It's actually good this week. So it's just spinach and this miso dresser. was there other stuff in there? Yeah, you can add like a tuna to talk here to it, which is I would do that. Yeah, very, very good. That makes it more of a Not a meal, but like a heartier thing. But it is a large portion of spinach as well And it's it makes me feel good because It's spinach You feel like you got some nutrients for it yeah. I'm sure that there's got to be stuff in the dressing that makes it You know, particularly unhealthy for. That was it wass delicious. Yeah. Yeah. It wouldn't be delicious if it was like spinach with a little bit of like lime or you know, like it'd be like, this is spinach. Yeah Yeah. everyvery time. I had a salad today. On the way here, I was like, makeake sure you get a healthy lunch. I was walking past the salad place I hadn't been to before. It's like, I'm gonna get that now in advance and I've got a healthy lunch in the bag I got it As soon as I had my first mouth f for the thought, this was delicious. and I was like and then my next thought was shit. That' Yeah, that's bad for you. Yeah. Shit. Yeah. That's not This is a really good delicious salad. It's got a dressing on that I didn't ask for. Right And now you're just eating a sandwich That's in a salad form Yes. Th then you realize Yeah. Every time I went could have just had a sandwich, you know? Every time I went to sweet Green in the States, that happened to me. Yeah. pick all of the ingredients in you like being such a healthy boy today. protein, nutrients, iron. And then like, what dressings do you want? I want that one? Do you want it light medium or heavy, heavy You would say heavy? Oh, yeah, yeah. half a bottle goes there and meakes it up. It's like eating soup. Also, it's a massive bottle that has about four nozzles on it. Yeah in swweet green. Yeah. They like go like that, It's like that's four bottles in one that you've gaffotaped together and you're putting ' them all on my salad. Sweet green is a It's really a dangerous place because they're like, you want to add anything else. Yeah. It's all just right there and you think like, well, that'll be good on it. Yeah yeah. I do that all time. I don't think about the the structure of the salad or like you know, the flavor profile. And then I end up adding something and I'm like, now I've got like a Mexican Asian salad. and no one's happy. And it's not a it's really upset to community. Yeah ye Yeah. And everyone's just the whole salad is fighting U I used to work onene time I worked at a subway sandwich shop And The amount of mayonnaise you put on those sandwiches is like it's so much mayonnaise. And then people would be like more mayonnaise. And you're like making it and they're like they're like, no more than that. And it was just like, I put on so much mayonnaise onto some of these salads. and there's I'm from Hershy, Pennsylvania, there's amusement park in her sheet called Scotish spark.. If you can believe it. Yeah. you can believe that that's c. Some of the names of these places are craz. You'll never find it. Yeah. And there's like there was a subway sandwich shop in the park that I worked at, but it was right by the water rides. So we're like loading mayonnaise onto these shops Wh people that are like drenched in like overly chlorinated Amusement parks slaughter. Yeah st They're just like more mar eggs. Salopping wet J like sk shirts sticking to them, like drippings, asking for manise. Dream job. What get a free sandwich. Best job in the world. Yeah, best job in the world. That's what the show is about. Yeah ock it out. I think James has got some questions about working in subway. I heard your brain stop pinging I was excited to us's the first person we had subway. Oh yeah. you know. It's actually really fun. Yeah. Yeah, because it's just it's so gratifying. They ask for a sandwich, you make the sandwich You get used to smell you when you're in there, you're like, o I what smell Yeah And then you leave and you're like, this smell. This smell that's now in my car, you know to change. Pipe the smell out onto the street I trrew in in our little stand in the park. Yeah. I think we were competing with too much chlorine anyway. but I don't know if that's true everywhere. They might They might You can't speak for the corporation. I can't speak for the corporation. I've heard they pump it out onto the street so you're like, hm, Sway. Those are franchises, so maybe some do and some don't. That's true You know, I accused her Iuse I thought it was common knowledge that M andN well did that They uh The guy who I said it to worked there flipped his lid? Really? really? He was thought we did not do that That is false and everyone's going around saying that. We do not pump the smell Int Lesster Square, do not tell people that. Imagine being a company man for M andM's. Yeah. That sounds like they definitely pumped the smell. Yeahs like the sm sounds you're pumping. Yeah Okay, so in Hershey, where Hershey Park is Yeah, they They used to have the chocolate factory there and it would smell like chocolate. But then they moved the factory to Mexico, but the town still smells like chocolate. They're pumping in from someoneere. That's suspicious. Yeah. through the sewers. Do you reckon that when they were at the Hershey factory they would like dump in like oil drums of chocolate all under there the sewers and then all the turtles under thereuffv this is going to be a great sequel to Eron Brokovich. Yeah. Instead everyone just has obesity? Yeah Aon Chchovich. Aronchovich. Gubernet? Yeah. Yeah xt jes. That was the best st. Yeahah. What do we call that? a pun? Is that P pun word playd playay. Great humumor, just general, great hume. General, G. By it. By Ed. By Ed Gamble. That's why I say after all my jokes. Yeah. My tor I gam. Yeah. Another great joke. Definitely buy me Oh like this. Straight to the camera straight to the camer This is Cat and Nat from Cat and Nat Unfiltered and this episode is sponsored by Michaels, your destination for all things birthday parties. If you've ever planned a birthday celebration, you know it goes from cute idea to n chaos real fast. The party shop at Michaels makes life easier with over four thousand five hundred party supplies and sixty plus themes like Bluey, Rdeo, soccer, Rainbow, and more. Starting at just ninety nine cents, you can shop same day delivery or order online for pickup in store and they even do free helium inflation on Slect Balloon styles Michael's everything to celebrate anything, visit Michael's in store or shop online now Quick question, when was the last time a display ad changed your mind Now think about the last time a friend told you about something they loved. Different feeling, right? That's how podcast advertising works. A host who's built real trust with their audience talks about your brand in their own words, in their own voice. It doesn't interrupt the experience. It's part of it. With ACast, you can access the world's largest podcast marketplace Choose the right shows, the right audiences, the right format. thenen watch the data tell you it worked. You're not buying impressions. You're buying influence. Learn more by visiting acast dot com slash advertise Your dream main course. My dream main course. Okay, so this took me a really long time to think of and I almost went with just I almost gave up. ' I I couldn't fure out and I was just gonna go turkey and cheese sandwich because I just couldn't think of what my I love so many foods And this one, it's my dream main course, even though I I canannot pronounce it correctly. Fantast. It's the cchai pepe? Is that Yeah I mean, I understood what you meant. so it feels like there was, you were circling around the pronunciation. I don't know if I say it right What do you say atch you p That sounds better than what I said I don't know that. Wells it'sacchcio epe, right? It's Yeah. I've like missed out a syllable. Yeah, you say caccio pepppe. Caccio pepe. But I knew what you meant. I feel like if I start with the C and end with Ppe. Yeah, you're fine. ye yeah N don't know.. There's a lot of ways that can go wrong. want to follow that exact rule. Yeah. Cpe pepe. J say Ppe quick everyone knows what you mean. Ppe It's probably it's got to be my favorite pasta dish as well. I love it. I went to I took a little day trip to Rome for my fortieth birthday this year and I had it three times in one day. hold on Wig just glossing over that you've also had a fortieth birthday this year same year Ed Gambble' had ateth birthday. Last night. Yesterday yesterday was my forty. Oh wow. Wow. Looks like I'm the young buck of the pod. No Yes. James is forty two. Oh, No I'm not forty one I don't know when this is goinging. It' forty won, yout. That's the best one. Yeah. Sometimes you're two years ahead of me and sometimes you're only one. Yeah. sometometimes money a pan ahead of him and I'll give it to him. You're old now man, you're the old man of the pod Be your own in me. This is harded by the rules Happy to be for you anyway. I love forty. forortty's good. Im Yeah I can't wait I want to just get older and older, which is luckily how it works. So you're gonna stick to the linear rules of time Y. I would really like to because anyt time any show goes into a spacetime continuum, I get very confused. Yeah. I tried to follow along with Loki and it was just. Every time we go to a different, I'm like, what What timeline are we on now? I really it really It's hard for me I like time loops though. I love the time loop f. Oh yeah I love that as a nice overnight. Oh yeah. I Valine's Day. Yeah. I was thinking the other day they got to start like someone's got to open it Yo sometimes they open like littleittle parks or whatever where you can go and it's like Victorian times. And everyone's dressed in Victorian times. They should open a place that is a time loop And you can stay there for the whole week and every day you do the whole town goes around in a loop and and you can choose a different thing to do each day or maybe just one until you get it right and you complete it Im just like what would be getting it right I guess like there are certain like little storylines little stuff that you can do that would result in like, you know, different outcomes and different like ways of winning. Well, there's some immersive theatre things that are a bit like that. There was a show in New York for a long time called Sleep No More that was like the same All the actors and all of the dancers and stuff in the show was in a massive warehouse. Yeah did the same thing maybe three times within the course of the show and you could go anywhere you wanted. It was like open world And there were little things to solve and do. or you could watch different things at different times and And you could try the same one over and over to get it right. You could like gound Hota? Yeah You could do is more of a sort of theatrical experience than I want to do ground desperate wayays to get life right. This is this is My reaction to sleep no more every single time has been I like I've heard of it. Yeah And I just generally agree because I don't have any idea what it actually is. Yeah ye ye where I'm just like, yeah, it's a theatrical experience. It's always done it. Yeah. Whatever it is. People bring it up and he'll be like, yeah, yeah ' sleep no more. Yeah. It's an ever f Yeah Airport brings up stuff and he's like, yeah I saw that. I did that. I've eatingen that. I went. Hi Well' the name? Yes ye. Oh lovely. He hasn't got two kids. hisis belly buttononss absolutely unmolested He's having a great life. No one's been in there for years. He's actually just going places to see if anyone'. Yeah. This W you touch my belly? Yeah, I got kicked out I tried with all the different actors at different times of the show, just lifted up my t shirt. H a. Get in there. It is great, but it started very late. I think it's started at eleven PM and went onntil about three in the morning, so And they separate you from who is that and shake That sounds like a nightmare to me. Right. That sounds like a genuine And you have to wear masks. everyoneere Yeah. I'm out. I don't like. I'm not aag person, ye. I don't like it What COVID? Those masks are fine. Let's not get into it up., Michelle. People are gonna be like Now I see anyone with a mask now Now I see a old lady with a mask. I'm like, what are you doing? That's scary. Jo I mean, obviously everyone in COVID hated the people who wore the mask with their nose sticking out the top. I hate those people even more when I see them now Yeah, in the modern day In twenty twenty six, I go on the tube and someone's wearing a face mask, but they got a nose stickking out'm like what you doing? We all on so many levels. I thought we'd sorted this out. Yeah Yeah that you don't have your nose sticking out. We all this got covered years ago. Right. How the hell are you still doing this? Beuse I thought it was I just assume the people with their nose out were the people who didn't want to wear a mask. Yeah And you were making a point. Right. Yeah, ye. But that seems like someone who's electively wearing a mask but wearing it wrong. Do you ever just go up and go, It's like this. Yeah, you want to. You want do so much. G like. What do you think that's doing Aually breathe out your nose into this carriage. But what if you did that and then realized that their mouth was so low on their chin And that's why they have to do it. They move it up immediately their mit there. ye. at the bottom of their edges. for their mouth How are you do? Get your hands off me. This was for everyone's good. Yeah, that would ye ye actually that's n I would feel s Yeah, yeah. You' gott to worry about these people. They got You've really put your foot in your mouth. Yeah, yeah ye Now I'm just trying to think of wordplay as. But you're not signing any of it off with that was a joke by Michelle Wolf. you're doing that. should be. ye. I'm gonna sign up. that was by me Camp. Should have done that when you wrote for Seth Myers. Yes. So you would have to be like and that's why I love periods. byy me, Michelle Wolf you get credit every time. Yes. ye, I think that was. That was a problem. I should have thought of that. Is that category of like Jokes Seth can't say or something. Yeah Jo Jok Seth can't tell. Did you make it into that? No, that was that was after I left. But I did come back one time and I did some jokes Seth can't tell. Yeah. I I did some of the ones, which I think one joke about I did get a period joke in there about. used to do this thing new slogans where we'd make up slogans for things that don't have slogans. and didid u Tampons for whales or something like that. called Tampons That's wor Yeah, that's worth. But that's the one I did on this I don't know. Jokes Seth can't tell It' something about tamp. Y. Did he drop the paper on that one No, he just looked at me like, you finally got it out. you happy now? Have you made it at home, the Catcho pepppe? No, I haven't Oh I saled it. It's great. It's easy. Yeahah, yeah you're basically frying up pepper and then emuls using pasta water in the pan and like emulsifying the cheese into it and then putting the pasta in. What kind of cheese is it? Parmesan? Carino I want to say. Have you know who else chose it? H. And you can decide if you want to do because it's a bowl of pasta, if you want to do aady lady in the tramp with this guy Yes, who was is it? Todd Barry Boodburry would be the worst person to do a lady in the process history of the world I tell you a very fun Todd Barry story. He's going to hate that I'm telling this story. So we were at the comedy celler in New York and talking about flying because we're all comedians and we're it's probably like a Wednesday and we're all flying on Thursday. comes up in the conversation he goes he goes, I don't mind a middle seat And then I think for the next threeree hours, and I'm not even exaggerating We made fun of him for saying that a middle seat's not that bad. Yeah. L you fly all the time and you've got to have points and you got to be some sort of deelta or united something. and he's like the middle the middle seat. I mean, you got it's your whole most of your life is flying and you can't have a window or an aisle. I mean, we went into him to this day I still to him about middle ses. Yeah. So anyway Tideberry. I mean, I guess I could do a lady in tramp with him because I'd have the window.. Very rare to see a side by side lady in the tramp Yeah they're f they're facing you can't really do on you'd have to have the cter in the corner of your Yeah and then just akes. I feel like Todd would hate a lady in the tramp moment As a germophobe, h. Yeah, he would be like, you have your own bowlap pasta and I'll have my own bowlap pasta. and we'll eat it in separate rooms. And that is his dream lady in the Trp scenario. If you pushed a meatball across the plate with your nose to Todd Barry, he'd go, I lie in there. Yeah. He might murder me. might he might just be like, that's enough. Is that enough of you. You made fun of me for the middle seat for hours and You' trying to get me to eat a meatball with your nose I just bumped into Todd Barry in New York actually. Oh in in the hotel bar of where I was staying And we'd been having a drink and then I turned around, we got up to leave and Todd was sat there waiting for a friend and genuinely thinking about it, I think he wasn in the middle seat. I think it was in the middle seat and it was a completeing table. hisis friend hadn't arrived yet. Just midle se. in the middle seat. loves the middleat. Maybe he likes comfort. Yeah. Maybe it's like, he's like, I'm surrounded. But I love Todd Berry. I love. Oh, he's amazing I love Toddry, but yeah, I don't think I think he'd stay so far away from a lady in the tram situation You would also, I assume, not like a lady in the trrp situation, because that's very much's sharing and that is the ultimate sh, isn't it?. And I couldn't I think I like the idea of the romance, maybe of a lady in the Trump situation I'd be too competitive with I'd just suck the past up straight away. Yeah. So we do one once. We did do one once for a photo shoot. Who was who I'd like to think I was the lady I that was the drum. Yeah. I mean, we would pretty much just dressed like this. Yeah, but like, you know We weren't dressed like dogs is what James saying, I think. he dresses like dogs. Yeah. We weren't dressed like the characters. Yeah. We didn't know who was who. Yeah. And there was no sort of stereotypical Italian waiter playing the accordion behind a scene. Right, right Yeah Butume for theo was He refused to be involved in the photo shoot. an accordion and a little mustache. You wouldn't do it. even though he always does an Italian accent. He wass always speaking to an Italian accent all the time. That waiter must be so like down about his life, don't you think? What the actual lady did the trap? Yeah,' I' pord in for some dogs snogging You know, people really love their dogs Yeah, but they're not his dogs. He's working at the restaurant and he's demoted to go over there and look after the dogs at that table. By the way, they're going to get off with each other. I'd rather do that than deal with humans. Yeah. That's a good point. They're like going out there serving all the stupid customers in the actual restaurant. great I'm on dog duty. I'm going go in the alleys to look after these smugging dogs. I tell you what, if I was walking along and I saw two dogs eating a massive plate of spaghetti and meatballs, I'd watch that for the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, that actually sounds And also eating it, eating it that way, you know, Yeah, not just chomping it down. You fightfully to. Yeah. Really really classy dogs. Dgs at the end of the day. Dogs with lips If I sa two humans doing that in a restaurant, I would hope I was not their server. Yeah I'd flip the table. I would be like, you guys gotta go. What do you think about this H we go. Yes. yesterday I bumped it to some friends And one of them was telling the story to the other two and they were a couple And I'd say this couple Every time I see them, they're being a bit too public display of affection wherever I see them while one of my friends is telling herer friend a story and they're looking and making eye contact with each other This friend's boyfriend while still maintaining eye contact with the person telling the story kisses his girlfriend on the shoulder while they're talking. so they're looking at each other And while she's telling the story, he kisses his girlfriend on the shoulder and they're all still just making odd contact with each other like that. I thought it was appalling I would say shouldhoulder not do that Ses That's a joke by me Michel. Does't even make sense? It made sense in my head. I think it's one of the good nights. worst much I've ever had. It was bad. And I think you knew it was bad, which is why you only signed off as Michelle. You didn't give your s. Shoulder not do that. Shoulder not do that That was by Michelle So the whole talk you tell like you get to the kiss on the shoulder part Yeah. Shoulder should should not do it. shouldhoulder should not shouldoulder not' in my head it felt like it was gonna be good. Yeah. As soon as it came out of my mouth, I was like, I don't think it tracks. I'm still sort of trying I can sort of see what you're going for, but I'm still on the journey with it, I think. shouldhoulder not do that. Yeah Tom side dish Okay, dream side dish. So I don't know if this actually counts as a side dish I u I've had them both here and in Paris is you can get In the season, really fresh strawberries the small ones. we don't really have those in America. We have like American strawberries are like white inside and have no flavor. Huge, but massive as well right now.. And in the season seasonal strawberries, the summer strawberries I've had them both here and in Paris that are just like They're amazing. They're the tiny little red ones. I would love that as a side dish. And they taste like strawberry jam, basically, ye. Yeah, exactly. they're so good. They're just like it's like a You could I feel like I eat the stem even, you know, it's just like I'm just shoveling them in my Throwing them in my mouth. Yeah.ust I not even I didn't even try that. I That was just like a throwing them in my mouth. Justem Don't do it internet? I can't wait for the super cut we make in this episode. it'll be great. Just that. That'll be so fun Yeah, I mean, and you don't even need anything on them just those Yeah. I love it as a side dish for the cacciio peppo as well. Are you going to be going back and forth between the two, do you think A real problem with me is that I eat like a maniac. I'm like a hoover. like I just I'm like You could set a dish in front of me and by the time if you turned around, by the time you turned back around, it would be gone. Yeah.' I'm not a really a bite and a bite and a drink That's not happening. I am gobbling it down at a velocity that is alarming. I really something that really makes me laugh is someone doing like an offensive impression of something that's so normal. So just being like a bite and a bite a little drink. it's hard. wave high. We got to make ourugh things seem normal. Yeah, yeahah. it is hard. look, I'm you know, I'm a goazzler and a gler Yeah and the same. Yeah, especially with drinks, I'm goping. Yeah Somebodyens someone who doesn't like a musician And they go, Ohh, that person is just like Yeah That's not how they stand. Yeah. I't even he a hold that would be annoying. agree that would be annoying get sh That's not what I sound like. Oh, hello, my name That's always an imp Infensive impression of someone as well. It always starts with Hello My name is. Yeah yeah, it straight to that. Yeah I mean, yeah, but I do like your impression of someone Yeah eating normally. Thank you. Yeah little bit of this. no drink. you Yeah ye I eat so quickly and people comment on it who have just met me. Yeah. so that's like that's always bad. you ate that fast and you have to be l. I didn I didn't know. Yeah. I wasn't didnt realize. It's a thing. You don't need go in blic time for me, I didn't. Like I guess I have to redo this day. I'll eat some. Yeah Yeah. I mean, I'll get it right next time. But yeah,'m a eat too fast to really even enjoy a meal. I just' just inhaling just inhaling. and yeah. People always say to me is, oh, is that because your family had's not No it's not a fact, there's so many people are like we are so many brothers and sisters. We had to get there first I'm likes not a story I even believe Like I don't I don't believe that there's like some free for all for dinner. Yeah that there's like eight kids and everyone's the mom's just like You know, like and there's like somethingm all and there's nothing like. It's like dogs, you know what like everyone had like a like I'm sure if you if an older sibling took all the chicken, the mom would be like, don't do that. What about your? What about your siblings? This is for everybody. Yeah. You know, like don I just I don't believe the story. I don't know. Yeah. Even your brother like had half sherbt and gave your other brother the vanilla. Yeah, he wasn't gonna eat the whole thing. Yeah. He was just gonna eat the parts he liked. But I guess there's like with everything, there's like the nice bits that some people like and the bad bits that some people don't like. So if there's like a race for like the best bit of chicken or whatever But usually it's portioned out to everyone. sureure. Yeah. People aren't really just going there you go Hm, G nuts. Well I think no there must be families like that. Yeahah. put the main pot the middle of the face. just put a whole chick in the middle of the f. Yeah a real L maybe like a Christmas carol goose Yeah like just right in the middle and everyone's like their hands just they're just grabbing off chunks of goose. Yeah, no one's even cutting it, no one's serving it. It's just go, eat. I've done enough. Yeah. this is what I think yeah. I might be like So privileged Maybe I don't know this. they just put a big pot of goose in the front of everyone and everyone just goes for it. Yeah. And if you get they last. Yeah You get their last. Yeah the beak. Yeah Yeah. and you don't and there's nothing else for you And you think oh man. And your siblings don't Should not do that I should to not be so slow to get that goose I shot it I shot another beak This is Cat and Nat from Cat and Nat Unfiltered and this episode is sponsored by Michaels, your destination for all things birthday parties. 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No matter what comes next, give back free talk and text with the text now app Wireless plantans require the purchase of SIM card, visit textnow. com for terms and conditions. Your dream drink Okay, I love a glass of champagne but in the u No I'm making it a bowl, but it's, you know, the glass that's like u Oh yeah, the wide wide but shallow glass supposedly based on the shape of Marie Antoinette's breast. Yes, that one. You said this about every glass on the popcast. Well, I've never met the lady. So you know you' never sure what. Every time Ed's got a glass, it goes Whosese teddy does this remind of aboutne glass.. b th. But But It was as good as I shoulder not do that. Thank you guys. You're just trying to That's a better one.ome I't know if you're getting there. Yeah. I've never said this before, apart from I've mentioned this glass, but there's not, you know, you've mentioned Mary Antoinet on this po Yeah but not in the context of a different glass p different. Just they seem nice. Itbss dream main. She was fourteen. Yeah, apparently that's the it's always the glass thing, but apparently this is Yeah. Was she really young? Well, when they got married, I think she died at like twenty one or twenty two. So when did they do the glass pain on the breast I don't think different tyes. I don't think they mo I don't think they molded one on her As far as I know. I would hope not, it would be molten. It' be h very hot I think it was more like Whever, whatever pererve made the glass was like still. Yeah. And maybe she was like she was like, makeake me a glass. Yeah that reminds you of my breath. Yeah And then it was like the olden days pammy bottle You remember the Pami bottle? Yeah, I remember the Pan bottle of course something. Virgin Cola released a certain bottle of Virgin Ca that was in the shape of Pamela Anderson. That's what they said. called called the Pammi bottle. Okay And it was only Virgins who liked it. Yeah. It was very appropriate. We loved them. as kids going around in primary school Pa Anderson's body, what you love to kiss on the lips? Pfeta I'd obviously the only one going, well, what about Marrying Antoinette? I could pull this into a Maring Antoinette cl, I say Yeah ye. what a threesome I'mving a naughty evening for my virgin cola for my pammy bottle into' m into a breast breast glass. lookook, it's Pem and Egg and Merry. And I s of dinner. All of my friends have walked off This's just me alone in the playground saying this. donon't go anyh day She's not having a dinner party. But you would like champagne in this shallow wine stick. love I love champagne in one of those glasses. It makes me feel fans fancy. Yeah. Yeah ye. And like what kind of champagne do you have a favorourite kind U There's a rosese champagne that I had and I don't know the brand of it Uh, but it was a I really liked it. It was at the It was at four seasons in Austin, Texas. They had a rosese champagne. It was very good. I love a rosese champagne. Yeah. I'm not sure I can tell the difference taste wise between rosese champagne and I feel like maybe it was a little sweeter, but I don't know It's good. It feels more celebrory, I think, as well. Yeah, but a pink fizz Have you ever what's been like the best occasion you've had champagne at the biggest celebration? Biggest celebration. I can't remember a single place I've been to. I you celebrate. I can't remember a single thing. My friend had a I guess it must have been like her forty eighth birthday party. in her friend and a friend's backyard and, uh But then they had these little champagne glasses like that. And that was a fun celebratory thing I I taped a special once and I asked for champagne after to celebrate. and They brought me the champagne that In America, you can buy at like the seven eleven And I was like, because you know you put something on your rider champagne, but you didn't like specify like the brand and they I mean It must be like a dollar bottle of champagne. Like it was just, I was like, what? I gotta be more specific, I guess. Especially if you're old or not done that. You're not normally putting this on your rider, right? So you're like, oh it's gonna to be a treat ' it's a big night. So I feel, you know, it's not my normal st. Everyone knows I'm shooting a. It's not like it was a surprise. It's like there's a whole crew there. Yeah You know, and you think someone would be like We got to, I think they just forgot And then they like got it on the way or something. Or the special cost so much money. Yeah, they were like I don't have anything left. Here's eight Here's eight dollars. Yeah. She wants to marry anntoight tick glasses. you' get a nose either come on Surely those are the kind of bottles bottles of champagne they smash off in ships Yeah, J the cheap ones, seven eleven ones. I would hope so Mash that off of a shit. No, because when I imagine that, I imagine like the golden age, right? where Everything's fancy and everyone's excited. I think they're smashing Fancy champagne or was. I feel like sh a was.'s good luck though, isn't it as well? I feel waste You know, like you have a ship Yeah. You'd probably be like, ye, I also have a couple of the fancy bottles. they show off I'm really trying to think of other other things I've celebrated. There' a thing about having kids is that with the first one, I was like, oh, my memoryies worse. And now with the second one, I'm like, I don't remember anything Like I couldn't I couldn't tell you what I did yesterday But then But then on the way here, I was thinking about I was thinking about something and my mind got to diabetes. And then I remembered this girl I went to school with elementary school with and that she had diabetes. And I was like, I wonder what she's doing now And I remembered her full name. firstirst and last name and I can picture her. Yeah. but I can't I completely use this email. Literally thought I was like, whyy is this what I can remember? Yeah. And I'm searching for a thing I've celebrated You did the correspondent statement didn't you Yes, but I didn't have champagne then. I had I had tequila that night. Yeah of course person we've had on the podcast is in the correspondence dner think so The Toddury? I'd love to see Tod My do the correspondence. I think that would be very. Tod Many of course, wouldn't offend either side because he sits in the middle I know B me chains. of G Or just a lot of pressure, leave it up to it. Yeah, I mean, I think it was the room stinks. It's not like it's also like this big ballroom. L it's not made for comedy and no one there really wants to laugh and everyone's looking at each other to see if they can laugh and it's really and you're insulting the people in the room And especially with the people who were in the room when I was doing it, they're not like people that were like have a roast. Yeah. Let's so. Yeah like I started telling my jokes and Sarah Hugabee Sanders look like I mean, it looked like She thought I was gonna give like a bridesmaid toast And instead I started to be like, look at this bitch, you know So I yeah, it she, um It was unsavory, but my friend also texted me right before I went on and he was like, you know, if they're not laughing, you're doing well Yeah So as soon as I started then they were just kind of silent. I was like We're doing great. Yeah. It's not for the people in the room. Yeah. It's for everyone else watching it after Yeah Yeah. Yeah. It seems like in America there's much more of a reverence or like a lot of respect for stuff like that. Over here in the UK, if there was a gig that is routinely impossible and really hard, we'd all be avoiding it And if like If someone did it, it was it was well paid or whatever, but they don't want anyone to see it or to know about it In the US you have that and like SNL where they're literally going live and like they could bomb on live television and all these things are like the wholeing for W way high esteem in a way that's like quite encraged as a comic because obviously it's part of being a comedian is having these gigs that are really hard and it doesn't have to go brilliantly every time or in the room and it's cool to watch on TV Like, why do you think that is in America that you couldn kind of like have those kind of things become part of like such a the foundations of like being a comic and And in other countries might just be it wouldn't takeake off as much, I don't know I think there's something about like the ego of Americans that like every comic thinks I'm going be the one. Yeah,. I'm going to be the one to nail it. You know, like that we're all kind of like u You know, it was hard for everyone else, but for me, This is Yeah I'm the one Or the thought that well, they're not laughing, but I know I'm doing great. Yeah. I think is yeah Like I wouldn't be able to do that. L I'd crumble so. It would be so bad I think the way I was thinking of it was that like I was like, o, I I want to make these people. Yes, these specific people. And so that for me, but like, you know, when people host like any of the award shows or anything like that, it just feels like Unless you're going with a specific, I want to make these people mad I feel like everyone's like it was okay or it was, you know I don't know I've had a couple of those things where whoever's booked me for it or my agent will say It'll be really hard. But it's a good opportunity. I'm like, no those two things don't exist together for me. Yeah. Th that's a bad opportunity Yeah because I want to just make people laugh and have a nice time. That's my main opportunity. Sure. I think there's something about I do, I think it's us being like, oh, it's really hard All right. I'll crack the code. Yeah. And Yeah, yeah. and we're just very, I don't know. Also like in America, it'll be talked about if like like over here those Gigs They don't really get discussed, especially not in public or like but if you do the correspondence dinner That's going to be like talked about by loads of comics all and it is like a badge of honor.'s something that's like seen as being But yeah quQite Well, it's a very impressive thing to have to have got to do, which we don't have the equivalent of that here, I guess. There's no like R to Rugs the Prime Mister It'll be fun It' be nice, especially this comment one if you're watching. you ain't watching, man. No. and even this Oh no, he's listening. He just hasn't made the jump over to the YouTube episodes yet Yeah, listen to the people You know, I was trying to make a out of his name. Yeah yeah. And I just really think it's gonna work. Kare shoulder. You' to call him K shoulder? I was gonna say, donon't get me K stared. That's as good as the should. Sted this is me improving though as I was thinking of it, it was like it's not gonna Yeah. And the next time, Michelle, you come up with one of those. you won't even say it out loud or Well this is the we're going around on this day again. We've g and hoged it. Next time you come up with the joke, you're just gonna to keep quite about.s nots not it's not even word pr. It's actually You're just shoehorning in something that didn't work Don't get me stombed. Don't get me stomarted It works when you say it. Yeah Oh yeah yeah I felt like it worked. Yeah, it did work. ye Dink dessert really really went around on this because I'm a sweetets person. I love a sweet treat. And I feel like this is gonna sound like I'm u Like what what's it called when you're, um I don't know trying to plate an audience or something because I'm here in England. Pand. Pandering. Thankk you. I promise this isn't pandering. This is actually my favorite dessert is sticky tooffee pudding Well, hey, that place that I mentioned earlier. Yes. Carilla? Parilla. Ced went to check with me what the restaurant was called, but luckily you remembered. That's good. You remembered that? Yeah. So you don't remember what you did yesterday, but you remember where he ate two weeks ago?'s good Yeah, that's so useful for me. Yeah, ye. The whole meal was like It's of the best meals've had in ages So good. Start with those little bread bites Desert. with sticky toffee pudding. It's a set set menu And that's all I'd seen was I didn't read the whole description of it And out they're getting it ready see that they're Strating black truffle over it, and I'm like, o no Yo, bllack Tuffles was fine but I don't I don't want it on my sticky touffy put in this. How how much this guy' changed Yeahes, I've changed a lot. For this podcast, I've never had bllack trruffle before, anything like that. I'll start going to fancy places to eat. F think black trruffle is amazing Then I'll stop in like Would these restaurants stop putting black tble on them? It's always black trumble. That' observational material now. Yeah yeah. So anyone else fed up a black trble? Hello? Hello. More like black trouble. That sounds racist That sounds fac. Don't sign that one off, Michelle. Don't sign that off. I was like this time As soon as I said it, I was like very racist. What the word the word People in a room talking about black Tump. The word We're not talking about it. Don't bring us that joke Not us The wordplay was stronger, but the intent sounded way worse. Yeah way worse. You've not signed off so that you're fine. You're. by me, Michelle what? No no I it was canceed. So it turns out I need a new job. Yeah. Anyway, it was delicious. Yeah. It had black truffle ice cream The sticky toffee pudding was a very like Dark rich, sticky toffee. And I fully expected I wasn't going to like it.'ome of the best desserts I've had in ages The whole meal was phenomenal. I think you should go there, Michelle Wolf. because the things that you're shouting out sound exactly like this great meal I just had. Well, well maybe sounds great. It's here in London? Yes, here in London St'tewon I'm still laughing at your last wordpl, sorry. Yeah, of course. It's really offense. Yeah Yeah I mean, and it was how quick it was how quickly You said that sounds racist after you said it as well. they believe because it's gonna to be harder to clip. Yeah, you know like we won't Maybe you cut something off there. Yeah. We won't clip it up. Yeah harder harder harder harder to cut off the whoa no, that's racism. Yeah. The whole thing will go in the edit, but like you can't snip it down to make it look worse. Yeah. Right, right. You know But you never know what the internet can do these days. These guys, what are they up to? I have a question about the black truffle ice cream. Was it savory No I just it was sweet but definitely tasted like black trufflet. so I had a bit of it on its own a way to see. And that was a bit too much for me But then I was like Come on You're an adult This is meant to be had. alogether That's not ut the cream to one side. That's how you realize that. Let's not separate all our food so it's not touching. Yeah you're a grown up now. Eat the black truffle with the ice cream. Don't just have a bit of black truffle ice cream and write it off. Yeah. You got to have it all as intended. And then it was like just really sweet But would this like I guess there was like a umami flavour in there when it all combined together I didn't know that word before started this podcast either. I've heard it a lot. I don't really know what it means Nah the fifth flavor. the fifth flavour yeah, but it's it feels like more it's like a feeling. I think I use it to describe flavours that I can't describe. Yeah U yeah, that's umami. F go over Some umami flavor there. It's a bit salty and sweet at the same time, but I can't quite put my fear on it. It's actually licorice. that's what they said it in paste as well. umami paste. You you feel like you're being ripped off someere. Yeah. It was just invented. ye Is there a particular sticky toffee pudding you would like I did like the one from Gordon Ramseay's. That's the one I had here treat really like for that would Would you want to hang out with Gordon Ramsey? I would actually. You would. I would. I want to I like how intense he is and