The New Disappearing Spouse Trick

This is P Sunday School and Here we go. Here we go! Brothers, sisters, siblings, welcome to Penn Sunday School. I'm Matt Donnelly and we are broadcasting from Las Vegas, Nevada, the entertainment capital of the world. Hashtag currently Uh this week, Pen is a little less in the plastic than you might imagine. Also, he's found a new system for learning Spanish. It's pretty exciting. So here he is, Preach the Love, brought to you by Masterclass. He's Pen! Yeah, this is Pen Preaching Love brought to you by Masterclass. Dot com slash pen. I forgot what part I have. I'm supposed to say .com. Okay, let's try that again. Okay. Brought to you by a masterclass.com slash pen. Oh, that was beautiful. That was so beautiful. That was really, really nice. Um Yeah. Uh someone asked me, uh asked us about the paperclip theory of macaroni and cheese. Yeah. They couldn't sell. Uh powdered cheese. Yes. Probably should never have sold powdered cheese. But they were not able to uh to do that. So they um one guy got an idea. to paperclip pasta. Dried pasta to it. And then sell it as macaroni and cheese. But it was a paper clip and a piece of paper that said macaroni and cheese originally. And was it uh like a a store? Was it uh It was craft, I believe. Yeah, yeah. Yeah But it's called the paper. It was in supermarkets. Or in markets. They came to your car door. I was like, where's the first uh where's where's the first place I would have encountered the paper clipped macaroni and cheese together with a piece of paper. In your market. Okay, in a market. In a market. I think this would be four supermarkets. It was before Mighty Mouse. You know that's how Mighty Mouse get his powers, right? You know that. Powdered cheese? No Supermarket. Did you know that? No. No, you don't know the tale of Mighty Mouse? Mighty Mouse is just what? A tool for Andy Kaufman to you? Yes. He's nothing else. I like the cartoons when I was young. Yeah. Well I guess you didn't follow them very closely, did you? I guess not. The way Mighty Mouse became Mighty Mouse is he was a mouse. Yeah. Okay. And he broke into a supermarket. And it was a supermarket. And he ate the stuff from the super market and he got superpowers and became mighty boss. Oh. There was an origin story on my own. I wasn't paying attention. You you and the nuns at Holy Cross would agree that I was not paying enough attention. And you know what I even liked. The amount that I agree with the nuns at Holy Cross is much greater than you'd think. We agree on tea. We agree on all sorts of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh we also agree on things to stick up our ass. Just happen to know that there's that great uh uh Emo Phillips joke about meeting Mother Teresa and finding out they had the same safe word. So yeah lately I've been um I've been a bit crazy. Uh Jason Garfield um who uh who uh is a great juggler. Yep and you can find Jason Garfield juggler online. He's also my personal trainer. Yes. Uh most people, uh many people. But I Turned him on to. Yes. Turned them on. To whom I've turned him on, to that I've told about have fallen away. They don't stick with him because he is too draconian. And boy is he draconian. He corrects everything. You never ever feel from him job well done. Ah no. It's an hour of Jason correcting every little thing. There's a little bounce at the bottom, go slower, slower down, feel the weight, push your muscles in as you're doing this. Constantly. And then when you finally do it, he goes, That's what you get out of him. Right? That's hard. And he's also a diet freak. Yes. So you say, you know, I got 140 grams of protein yesterday. And he likes what's what's his goal what's the what's what's his goal amount of protein for two hundred grams a day. Two hundred grams a day. Usually nothing but protein shakes. Yeah, yeah. I get about 130 grams of protein a day for those who are going to be on Jeopardy. Yeah. And it just comes up and says, uh hundred and thirty grams. And you say, What is the amount of protein that Pendulette usually gets on a day? That's the really advanced Jeopardy. Very advanced. Yeah. Very advanced. Uh so he does he uh does he scoff at you? Is he ashamed of you for getting one hundred and thirty grams of protein? Uh he does nothing. He does nothing but shame me on everything. Lately he's been shaming me on plastic and impurities. Okay, so this is I'm curious about bear. And uh You know, obviously when you read certain things sometimes Things can be a little uh Crazy. Yes. Uh I don't think you need the modifier little. Right. There's crazy shit. There's always crazy that go through the internet warnings that kind of take over. But you know I used to drink straight. Uh Vegas tap water. Yes. And I would put it in bottles and make um seltzer. I would put it in a boiler and make tea. And I was finally convinced by not just Jason. But many things. So I got a reverse osmosis thing. But Most reverse talk most uh most things. have uh plastic liners. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which kind of defeats the purpose. I get an all stainless steel one. Okay. And then I started digging the stainless steel. That's what's really happening. I do feel that. I feel like, you know, it feels like you're back in like the forties, like World War II. So I um let's get it. I don't think there was stainless steel then, was there? Oh, I don't know. It doesn't matter. Uh and then I said, Well when my bottles are all I mean, they're all supposed to be that no bippy plastic. Yeah but my soda stream incidentally made by Israel, so I'm helping to bomb Iran. There you go. Doing your part. Uh had plastic bottles. So then I found out you can buy all stainless steel bottles. Oh, I bet those good bubbles in that. Oh, yeah. Cold metal. It's cold metal. Cold metal. And then I spent a lot of money. to buy a blender with a totally stainless steel pitcher. For my morning shakes. Then I changed my protein to my shakes. to be the lowest heavy metal. Okay. Right. And then I decided, well, the containers that I have for my flaxseed and my protein are plastic. So then I found stainless steel stackable ones. Then I found out the stew and the The stew that I usually eat that's frozen is frozen in plastic. So I found glass. Freezer things. Okay. They put in the freezer in glass, put in the microwave in glass, eat it out of glass. And now I have such a fucking hard on for glass. I'm just digging glass hard. And I go and I don't want to buy things, you know? Right. But now I do. There is a website that's called No Plastic. And you can buy like all sorts of kitchen devices. So is Jason your Solce for microplastic No. No. I look at stuff but it's mostly Jason for scolding. For scolding. You go to Jason for scolding. Yes. You go to you go to Internet and different websites for information. But it seems like cutting down on microplastics in your food is a pretty good idea. Yeah, I mean the the thing is that most there was like for instance it seemed like uh last year and years previously there was um everything was uh scary. Uh Everything was scary about uh inflammation. Everything caused inflammation. Yeah. Well I'm still doing that. But there it certainly there certainly is a thing. They're certain that's certainly true. Okay. But you know what else I bought? See, let's let's let's let's change the I remember when I first went out with Lawrence O'Donnell, okay? He was vegetarian. Right. And at that point, uh he was very close to vegan. Right. But he's vegetarian. And uh I I was discussing with him, vegetarian, and he said, and this was just to shut me up, he said that uh he was an aesthetic. Vegetarian. He just didn't like the way meat looked. Ah. Right? And uh course he has some other weird things about eating. Like Lawrence O'Donnell, if there's a basket of bread on the table. Yeah. And you reach into the basket of bread and take a piece of bread. He no longer will. Cause your fingers have come near his foot. Nothing will see nothing keeps you from a basket of bread. You could lick your fingers and grab bread and I'll still eat it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Um You could lick the bread and you'd still eat. Yeah. Well that's my argument with Piff. And I'm gonna tell you this. If you are interested in um One of two things. Mm-hmm. Poisoning me to death or having me eat your bodily fluids. Okay. If either of those appeal to you, if you bring food to Piff And you are an admirer of Piff. Yes. And you bring him some cupcakes? He will throw them all. He will not eat it. He does not eat uh he calls them fan cakes. He does not eat fan cakes. No. I do. And Piff says to me, what if they came in them? And I go, Okay. I mean I don't understand. No, I I mean ice cream social is like is my coffee supplier. Listeners know to send me medium bodied coffee that that is delicious. And they send it to me all the time as gifts and I think it's awesome. So one of the coolest perks seeing in media. We are easy to poison. Yes. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah. Well, I always remember uh Winston Churchill. I'm not really remembering it. But um supposedly with iron coffee who was who was very witty. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A woman said to him, If I were your wife, I would poison your food. To which he responded, if you were my wife, I would eat it. Pretty good. Pretty good. So I've been getting a lot of glass stuff and I enjoy it. And today So wait, w what what are the perceived dangers of microplastics? You just been shamed into getting out of your life and you you' and you're acquiescing. I'm just trying to get less. But certain things that I loved have been taken away from me. I loved. Ben's used to be my uncle, but he abdicated. Ben's Microwave brown rice. Yeah Well that is just microplastics and heavy metals. Right? Right. So now I have a rice cooker with ceramic hungity and I get rice. But still brown rice is not your best food. You want to go with Um you want to go with grats. Yeah, we've we've talked about this before. It's very hard to not get uh was it arsenic? Arsenic and ollace both are in there. Productions and television and drag comes in that race. So I'm avoiding that. Sure. It's it's fun. I think the thing is that my life is better. Uh I I enjoy my life more when I'm operating under draconian rules. Yes. I write for a half an hour. I study for half an hour. I exercise with Jason, who yells at me for an hour. Yeah. I do those things and I'm happier then. When you get it's like uh uh there's this book called um The Ode Less Traveled or something? It's a pun. Ode less traveled. I'm not sure. But it's a book by Stephen Fry about learning poetry. And he has an introduction that is incredible, that expands on art thrives at its limitations. Oh, and this is where you have to go through different structured poems that are very difficult. Very difficult. To me like two years to get through it. Yeah. And I did all the exercises. But I punished Stephen Fry. By sending him through my exercise. Uh, but I wrote poems in every form and his argument is uh That Um Meter and rhyme. make it easier to think that the hardest form to write in is free form. And that is so true. When I'm told by the New York Times write an essay on this, it's so easy. I uh but I relate to this from a parenting perspective. Think I've told the story. Lay it on us, daddyo. Um I had a a a therapist. Uh she was a uh uh a woman of color. Uh the rapist. Uh and uh she also had like eight degrees. I really want to find someone who would really not let me bullshit them in any way. Okay. And that's why I love this. Degrees stop you from being a I think Degrees show how much bullshit you can take. Good point. Good point. Um But uh she was excellent at calling me on my shit. And so uh She's also a family counselor and we were having a hard time with our kiddos. We're kind of going, you know, we we said we were never going to just say no. My way or the highway. We would always explain the rules and why we're saying no. And all that did was turn our children into. Excuse me for a second. I'm gonna mute my microphone so you don't hear me laughing. Go ahead. That's it. It just turns your kids into lawyers. That's all that does. Yeah. It just arms your kids to the teeth. to still absolutely negotiate everything they want. And we were going crazy. I have a friend who did that and ended up with his daughter taking over their major bedroom and putting them in the guest room. But go ahead. That's true. That's true. I'm not yeah, I'm not laughing at him disbelief. Uh no, that's it. So we We I said I said, Do you mind if my wife joins us for this session? We're having a hard time with our kids and it's just we're going crazy, our households going crazy. And we lay out all of the issues on all the stories of all the things where our kids were were driving us nuts and we weren't uh doing right. And she, when my wife finished a very long monologue, just shook her head and said You white people make it so hard on yourselves. She was like Your household is not a democracy. You are the kings and queens of your household. If they don't play by the rules, they don't get fed. They don't get to sleep. They don't get to do whatever you provide everything for them and you are the kings and queens of your household. Stop making it harder yourself. Yeah, uh we we made that mistake. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uh my uh my children are very good at arguing. And I give up. Right. You know that I give up. Yes. My way of living my life is uh very, very aggressive instantly fold. Well, I would say I would say your uh in in work environments your last resort is sulking. Uhhuh. And then everyone decides whether we're going to cater to that cave to that sulking or not. Right. And I imagine your children never cave to your sulk. Never. Sulking does not work with children. It does not work. Sulking works when you have your name on the side. You don't sign their paychecks, you don't sign your kids' paycheck, so then sulking's not gonna work. Yeah, I uh yeah, I uh I I do sulk, but I To me, it doesn't feel like sulking, which it is. It feels like giving up. Right. No, yeah, yeah. I I understand that. I and I don't I understand that making light of probably like hard artistic times, but uh uh uh uh uh but anyways, yeah, so so we By the way, there are four moments in the show. But I'm still still so That I do not approve of, and I suck. I you're completely right in all this, but for myself. Yeah. Uh Does not work for my children, but for myself, uh limitations are everything. Right. Which is why magic, uh I don't like much about magic. But the thing I like most about magic is it forces you to make things you have to do. look like things you want to do. I completely agree. Uh as someone came into magic late and and and very uh adjacently at first and then kind of into it and now totally into it. Um it is it's it is the frustrating process of trying to make very unnatural things natural. And that's wonderful. I love it. And i in our show, you know, there's uh there's a more I wrote a whole thing for the book that'll never come out about how all our tricks are done. Um I wrote this thing that's I think is really good, is that when you are forced to do something. you never thought you wanted to do. Yeah. That often will end up being the best thing in a bit. Mm-hmm. You know, we have to get teller off stage and then on stage. Yeah. There's no motivation. Oh, I mean one of the greatest things I learned from working with you guys is hang a lantern on it. You take the thing that's the most awkward and thing the the hardest to alibi element and you just showcase that first. And you you you know the best example of that. Yeah is Bruis. Oh go ahead. Die Hard to. Yeah. Die Hard Two. He does things First of all, he hangs the biggest lantern ever. Yeah. And he's talking to himself when he's doing it, which is really hard to do in a movie, right? Right, right, right, right. And during Die Hard 2, he says, how can the same thing be happening to the same guy again? And it works. Yes, app one hundred percent. One hundred percent. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I just love it. But I think that when you have really clear limitations, but I also like that I don't like to buy things. But if you make it hard for me to buy things. I like to buy things. Yeah. I mean I So every time you're looking around, you're like, there can't be a company that makes a steel version or a glass version of blank. Exactly. Yeah. Here's what I found. Last night I come home from the show and I have a protein shake in a stainless steel blender with the protein powder separate. That sounds Actually. I like that. Yeah. It's a really nice way to end the day with a milkshake. Although to my children it tastes nothing like a milkshake. But to a guy who's dealing with heavy deprivation, it is a milkshake. And then I often have a bunch of air pop popcorn. Yeah. Also, the first thing after a show tastes amazing no matter what it is. Anyway. When you when you get off stage, you j if someone hands you ice a glass of ice water, like, Where's this water from? This is so good. Like the first thing you sip, so it's smart to have a nice I have a nice uh Topo Chico in a glass bottle after the show. That's nice. Uh and now. Coda, who's on our crew. Yeah. Hands it to me. How nice is that? That's very nice. Oh it's nice. What's that? And so you haven't you you've now turned your show to stream to s to steal? My soda stream steel. Yeah, the the the bubbles on that have to be awesome. Oh, it's great. It's great, great, great. And but I also like some AirPod Popcorn. So last night before I went to watch ER. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. Here he is. My problem with advertising so much. I watch the pit. And I like the pit. So HBO said to me, why not watch ER? Yeah they did not ask me my age. You understand what I'm saying to you? A 71 year old man cannot start watching ER for the first time. Right? You cannot do seasons. Too many seasons. I will die. Probably I will die while George Clooney is still on the show. Right? I know he's gonna leave because he becomes a big movie star. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know they're all gonna leave, because they all think they're gonna have big careers afterwards, and they don't. Um except George Clooney. Yeah. Um What is it? It's twenty seasons? I forget I because I fell off of it whenever it happened. 23 shows a season. For someone who's a completest like me, I am going to die. You understand that, HBO? HBO, I will die before you give me another recommendation. They're asking me to watch twenty years of shows? Yeah, I didn't go for it. Uh I I finished the pit. I will be 91 years old. When I finish the pit, I don't want to show exactly like the one I finished. Oh, I want to show exactly the one I finished. There's see, that's the whole thing. I am a I am nothing but grooves and rules. Yeah. That's why the hippie movement appeal to me so much is because I pretended to be wild, but I am, I believe. Yeah. And you know me a long time now. Yeah. Know me longer than I know myself. And I believe That I am Uh the most tight ass person you know? Uh Tidas is not the correct. Nothing bothers you. Tight S makes me feel like someone easily bothered you're not easily bothered by other people's stuff. No. Not by other people's stuff. No. You you need you need to be boxed in. You you want to be probation. You want to be robot. You want to be a robot. You make your h habits and then they make you. Yeah. That's who you become. I mean part of I mean this thing is like part of being entertainer and wanting to do shows each and every week is that you have a service and you are a people pleaser. Right. But also, as Goodot said, variety arts are for people who watch Groundhog Day and say, that looks really fun. That's me. I know, I agree completely. I you know I thought about when I first were Sarah got hired for Jersey boys out here. I make you're taking the most talented people you can find and then make him do the exact same thing eight times a week. Yeah. And it's like that's that's one of the craziest things you could do to to a creative person. And it's wonderful. Yeah. I go out and I really do. There's no exaggeration on this. I will go out to do the same show the next night. Yeah. And all I'm thinking about is, do you think I can do that sentence in stooges without a breath? I I don't doubt that that's what going through your mind. Yeah. Can I do that? Cause if I could just get another, if I just remember to take a deeper breath, but the audience doesn't notice it. But I can get that deeper breath, you know? And then I can do that like a trombone player. I don't mean in terms of sexual attractiveness. Do the like a trombone player and get through the whole phrase. I believe that idea will be stronger. Yeah. I also will think um. Should I put I want to take one wicked out here and put a wicked in there. And then I'm going to put a y'all and a wicked in the same sentence to throw people off. Mm-hmm. I do that stuff. Yeah. And that's all I'm thinking about for that show. No, and it's no different, you know, when you listen to Seinfeld talk about like, you know, he'll he'll sit there and just, you know, he'll look at the mechanics of every little word in his sentences that's a little bit so fun. Yeah. Wicked, wicked fun. Yeah. Um So I w this morning Uh during my free time, which I have like a half an hour to do what I want. I decided to do shopping. Okay. So I went to Google and said, because last night I get home, I have my shake, right? And then I decide, how about a big bowl of air pop popcorn? Cause you can eat all the popcorn in the world. It's 150 calories. Yeah. If you ate nothing but watermelon and popcorn. Okay. You'd be you'd be real fun at parties. But I'm talking air pop popcorn, which has no no salt on it, no nothing. No oil. Little bit of Tabasco. Okay. That's all I put on my popcorn. Maybe a little bit of dash, but no salt. Okay. And it's really helpful. But I sat there and as it's warming up. I look at the top of that thing and I go, this is all plastic. So I went online and I said No plastic air pop popper. And Google came back and said, cut it out, Ben. You're out of your fucking mind. Enough. There is a no plastic microwave popcorn popper. It is all glass. Okay. And it goes in your microwave. Okay. And it pops pop the top is a little plastic, which Jason pointed out, but doesn't it tou I said, Well it's it's food grade silicon. He goes, Yeah, but the popcorn still I go, Jason. I mean You could not be more of a buzzkill. Right? Every little accomplishment. It's just like I just did a perfect pull up. Well, no, you kind of jumped a little bit at the beginning. Okay. I'll try to do pull-ups. No. I was trying to use an example that would make me appear to be more butch. I still have a fear in my life that I've already done my last one. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I have a fear in my life that my first one and my last one are the same and neither are gonna happen. Ha ha ha Uh but No matter what you do. So but then I said, wait a minute, my Orville Redbacher is in a plastic container. So I said, non-plastic container popcorn. Yeah. And it sent me Amish popcorn to burlapsack. Good. So I was all ready to click that. And I looked at the picture and what is there inside the Burlap Slack? Plastic. Plastic. So then I found this company called like Ellie and Ollie. Okay. It's a it's a great granddaughter and a great grandfather. Yeah. That grow their own popcorn and deliver it. in glass containers with a screw on metal cap. Okay. So I bought popcorn from them, got my popcorn popper, and I'm ready to go. That was my morning. I actually I I have not done any soul searching on plastic. Uh and as you bring it up, it just feels like such a stickier wicket than what you what you might imagine. Oh no, it's it it's impossible. Because there's such a connection between plastic and sanitation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh you know, there's there's there's always been this conflict of sanitation and pollution. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that stuff. But uh I I really aesthetically you know what else I bought, I think I told you this. I'm gonna tell you again. Titanium ice cubes. You told me Yeah, yeah. So I've I've I've tried like stones and other metal cubes in the past when I was a drinker. It's the advertisement was for whiskey. Yeah, yeah. I intend to use it for water. You've already done it? No. Cause they take forever to get there, because apparently they have to mine the titanium. I've yet to find a nice alternative that I found effective. Uh, but it's been a while since I've tried them. So I I imagine maybe they've gotten better uh at it. I'm just thinking, if I have my stainless steel. Yeah. Seltzer. Yeah. A glass glass with titanium ice cubes and I'm pouring it into that. I get a feel that I'm going to shoot my pants. Just seems like a great, great thing, doesn't it? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Uh So that's the story of plastic driving me crazy. That is uh it doesn't deep. It's also, by the way, too late. Which HBO doesn't know and neither does Jason. The amount of my seventy one years of plastic. Right. So the the next how long have I got? Four? Yeah. I hope you have more than four. I would just tell you, if HBO really had compassion, it would say for your next watch, why not my mother the car? One half season and you're out you're done. Yeah. Yeah. On your deathbed. You go. Wonder what Jerry Van Dyke's gonna do after this. And then you gotta go to coach, but don't worry about that. Yeah, yeah. You won't go to coach. No, no, no. Uh yeah, that sounds I read an interview with a guy who wrote my mother the car. He said, I thought it was a pretty far out for satire idea to make fun of all the shows that were doing all this, you know, uh animated stuff. It's hard. Like I So I have uh I have a I was talking about this yesterday with uh our pal Vini Ross over. And uh I have a bit in my show where I say, don't let me influence you in any way, and I blow a duck call and then say name any animal. Sometimes that doesn't get a laugh. Uh-huh. And then I go, uh oh. They're not laughing at that. They're gonna hate the end of this bit. They name any animal. They say deer and I yank out a giant fish and go deer. And then go uh oh as I as I catch the fish in my hands. And sometimes they don't laugh then. And then I'm like, oh, they just think I'm that. Dumb. Like they like it's not that the joke is bad. It's that that they've given me zero credit. And so they look at me like you made a mistake, as if I was actually supposed to pull any myriad of animals out of this tiny box. And and so so I'm saying like what I feel bad is for the writer of My Mother the Car is that he thought he was doing something hip. Yeah. And instead they gave him credit for being dumb. Yeah. And not smart enough to to pull it off. But I also thought about something else. I had a girlfriend in high school. Yeah that A friend married, but that always happens to me. Yeah. Uh my girlfriends always start having an affair with one of my friends and then marry them. Yeah. That happens constantly. Um girlfriend broke up. I need a doctor. Said I'm I'm Robbie's problem now. Anyway. Um so I had this girlfriend in in high school. Yeah. And we were in Atlanta. And we were bombing in Atlanta. Boy do we bomb in Atlanta. As a matter of fact, my new book, uh, fifty two years of failure. Will include Atlanta. They hated us in Atlanta. I mean, really hated us. And um I felt like I just said that like Trump, and I feel bad about that. Add it to the book. And her her brother came to see our show. Yeah. Okay. And I was doing a brand new bit. that I could not make work. And this was one that I was like a terrier with a slipper. You wanna figure it out. I wanted out. I was changing every night, and every night I tanked. I mean badly tanked, but every night I went out again and tried it. So I decided It's my girlfriend's brother. I would try to be open and show a little bit of my heart. So I said to him, Oh man, I'm having such trouble in that bit. I've been trying all sorts of things. I just can't get it to go. And he said to me, Maybe it's just not funny. I think that's what the conflict is. People roar. If I say name any animal, it's just a burst of laughter. And then I pull deer and then they just laugh as I catch the fish and then just laugh at the absurdity of it. And they love me. Uh and then I toss it off stage and it's just then and and there'll even be like a small smattering of applause sometimes. And other times it's just as like, What are you doing? Why are you wasting my time? It's a big swing. It's a big barometer of how the shows the rest of the show's gonna go. Yeah. Yeah. Um but no, if it was never getting a laugh, I would absolutely cut it. Not me. Speaking of barometers. Yeah. Um there are all sorts of jack off polls that tell you jerk off to this, Trump is really going down. Oh, look his approval rating. Oh, yeah. And you know all the people that don't like Trump. Get all excited. Yes. Okay. Now when we do our shows in Vegas. We know that there are X number of Trump supporters in our audience. Right. And if we do a joke that's anti Trump, you can feel the tension in the room. Yes. You really can. No, no, I I I hear you. And I I I I relate some my shows as well. And Springsteen show. Yeah. Is clearly about um his view of the country as opposed to Trump's. Right. Our show's not about that. No. It's just that's not the subject of it. No. And you one can argue Bruce has always done that with his shows. Sure. But that's not the subject of our show. No. So it's okay. Yeah, yeah. You know, we have I also feel like we are bombarded with news. Like I even went went to why I watch a sho and a friend uh recommended a show on a recommendation. It was like Daredevil Relived or Revived or whatever the hell it's called. Yeah Reborn or something. That was the first episode, and it has the big baddie, comic book baddie, decides to run for mayor. And I was like, Jesus fucking Christ, it's everything about elections and then just aping. The boys. Yes, and the boys is nothing but. So you're like I sometimes want to take a break from all that. Sure. But I put a joke in that really does show me that there is a huge shift going on in the country. Oh interesting. Uh it was just a line I did one night. Yeah. As an ad lib. And I could hear Georgie backstage laughing. And I expected it to get one of those reactions like, oh this is anti Trump. Trump maybe we'll shut up. And it got a huge laugh. And every night it gets a big laugh. Oh, interesting. And that is I'm doing Battle of Dreams. Right. And people are picking up little pieces of paper and throwing them back and forth. Yeah. And I say, cease fire. And I say it while they're in the air. Yes. So I used to I used to say, see you in the hag. Yeah to one person kept throwing. Yeah. But one night I decided to say, huh. I guess ceasefire means something different now. As they keep firing. Yes, exactly. They continue to throw. Yeah. Huge laugh. Interesting. Huge laugh. I don't believe that would well you know it wouldn't have been a joke. Yeah, yeah. Before Trump's war. But even considering that. It feels like there's a big tight change in that. Yeah. For people to laugh at this war is going on forever and it's stupid. I think yeah. I think I think I think that one would pull significantly high, that notion. I'm gonna talk about uh Spanish in just a moment. Uh but first of a question for you. An artistic question for you after this as well. Okay. We're doing a double tease. Double tease. Yeah. Wow. Uh we got Paul McCartney and Ryan Reynolds coming up. Uh uh Yeah, master class. Yeah, let's talk about master class. Masterclass.com. slash pen and you can do lifelong learning. It's available in every format. Once you become a member, you get all this stuff. We're just talking about not talking about politics. I tell you, if Springsteen were a member of Masterclass. Yeah. he would be able to do a show just about cooking. It allows you to think about other things, which is really important, I think. Yeah. Really important. Uh you can learn about improv comedy. Yeah. Learn about writing. learn about cooking. Yeah. Uh learn about negotiation. Learn about AI. Yeah. And you all have it all available to you once you're a member. You do not have to choose. That is so important. Yeah. That is so important. I mean imagine having your toe. What's that? Dabble. Dabble. Sure. And you cannot tell what you're gonna learn from one discipline that'll help you in another. Yeah. It's it's really a great, great thing. And it's also better uh than listening to the news by a lot. Take the time when you're listening to the news. Like when you're exercising or when you're driving, and change that to master class and you will be happier. Yes. It's as easy as that. You'll just be happier. What are you studying now, Bredi Rich? I've I've just blanked out on the title of the the class. The same one from last week. Oh the personal relationship one. Yeah, uh relationship styles. Yeah. Thank you. And is it working well for you? Do you like it? Amir it's Amir Levine. Oh yeah. It's a cognitive science thing. I walked into it with a little bit of trepidation. I don't know why I still do that with master class. The amount of times your testimonials start with I went into with a little bit of trepidation. Turned out it was fantastic. Yeah. It's like my book report. This is not the kind of book I usually read. It's the beginning of every book report. Go ahead. So he talks about the different types of relationship styles and uh how to find the right person with the uh with a style that matches yours. And is that uh is that uh does it ring true? I mean I don't give a fuck, but it'll be useful to somebody. So if you want whether you want to whether you want to learn about being an astronaut, that's right. Whether you want to learn about painting. Yeah. Whether you want to learn about making scramble legs. Or you want to learn about directing, you can just go to masterclass.com. slash pen. And you give 15% off lifelong learning. Also I should say that they're very, very supportive of our show. As a matter of fact, they support our show entirely. Yeah. They're just what did you tease before the break? So I uh uh I started my show up over at the old um magician's room. Uh and um at the link at the link promenade. We're both gonna talk about things that have a cue in them that shouldn't. Go ahead. So the Link Promenade is not part of the Link proper. It's part of that little outdoor mall where the big giant Ferris wheel is. Second floor, a little hundred seat theater called the Magician's Room, and I'm one of the six resident magic shows in in that in that facility. And so I had a our our friend came and watched my show. Um uh The Shocker. Yeah, yeah. I love him. He's in Late Night Magic and and he's had to come check out my show. And um after the joke talk to me and you know, I'm used to sometimes um I don't know what's what's the real word for this? So Are you familiar with the term subtweeting? No. So uh famously, like uh the famous example was in LeBron James was on a team uh came back to Cleveland Cavaliers and they went to the finals. One of their stars on the team wasn't playing that well, his name of Kevin Love. And um there's rumors of acrimony in the locker room, but no nothing confirmed. And then LeBron James tweeted, like, stop trying to fit out and fit in. mentioning nothing else and no one else. And every single person read that and goes, ah, that's Lebron talking to Kevin Love. Mm-hmm. And then that the LeBron's it's called subtweeting, where I'm criticizing you without mentioning you, but you know, whatever. Oh, I see. Yeah. So I'm used to images come up to me and saying weird questions to me, which I feel like they're just like actually secretly criticizing me. Mm-hmm. Like, why do you suck? Really subtle things like that. Then he goes, Hey, have you ever done any fringe festivals? And I was like, uh no. Uh I've I've wanted to. Oh why? Are you asking me if I've done French after watching my show, the first thing you ask me is if I've done Fringe Festivals. And he said, I mean, your show's super funny. I just don't know why you're doing it. Like I don't know why you're up there. Like why are you up on stage? And then I got very like uh of course my my inner brain was like, fuck you, pal. But I of course I don't want to say that. Well you say it now. Right, shoot. No, but I mean everyone's I mean, just me like I I did I don't mean to like my of course my instinct is to defend myself and not take it on. Well you I'm just say this to you. Yeah. You're a good nature guy. Yeah. Very good natured. You get along with everyone. Yeah. I believe that people like you are always thinking, go fuck yourself. Always. Yeah. Sure. No, I mean in this case, of course like a my first entity is like, What? Fuck off, right? And then my second you smiled. And then of course then I smiled and then and and the and with equal honesty, my brain goes, Hey, you better listen. He's a more experienced performer. He might know more than you. Might be on to something. And the truth is, like, you know, I am starting a new show with a new audience. In other words, like I got good at talking to the kind of person that would c pay extra for a for an experience on princess cruise ships. Right. I got very good at starting that conversation when I walked out on stage. different than when I first arrived. My magic tricks are the same, but how I connect my show became different. Right? Uh and so I was n was like i I I the show we saw I didn't think I had knocked it out of the park. Uh my show is is a work in progress over there, for sure. And so I was like, oh maybe you should really give do a do a think on this. Uh and and the answer uh but I don't have an answer at all. The answer is like I I don't know. I like being funny and I want to be funny for an hour in front of people to do it. Do you think I need like a deeper answer than that? Yeah, I think you have to say uh I feel unloved my mother died early in the water without reinforcement. Why are you wanting to Do you want to know Do you want to know where this black hole this insatiable appetite for attention came from? Yeah. What people used to ask me why I was on stage, was I would always say my only other choice is present. I mean I I have no skills. You ever notice that about me? I have no skills whatsoever. Right. Not Yeah. Yeah, I mean I ran out of things to do. I mean the joke that I say uh in in like interviews and stuff is like you don't start magic at thirty nine because everything went well. George Clooney just started doing walk around. Like uh yeah, no, I I was running out of places to turn, for sure. Uh, but I don't want to start there, I don't think, either. Uh, but I just was uh uh and so, yes, after my my initial bristling, I've been really in my head about it, uh, for days now. About like what do I do I owe I mean, do I owe the audience ex uh do I owe the one, do I owe the audience some kind of explanation or something along those lines. Two, do I really have to do some real soul searching as to why the hell I'm doing what I'm doing? I don't know. You know, that's something I feel strongly about. Right. I feel that one should have passion and people that are doing a show without when they have the symptom but not the disease. Yes. Um that does trouble me. I I believe there are people that are on stage that that lack passion. I've never felt that about you, though. No, I mean I I I I I believe I'm overly influenced by uh by you and Teller, and I believe there's an intellectual idea. By the way, just so you know, it's impossible to be over influenced by me and Teller. I mean I do think and I and I think uh of my education being through Fool Us where that you really have to have a driving premise through your trick through the whole time and remind the audience about it and that kind of stuff to keep your attention, that kind of a thing. So I d uh these are things that do I I believe I believe actually just like you, I actually don't like a magic trick unless there's a there's a premise to it that makes me an idea. Yeah, there's an idea outside of the trick itself that makes me laugh and want to perform it. Or there's a line in there that I like to deliver to the audience about it. By the way. Yeah. We're working on a trick. Mm-hmm. Uh it's a very good premise. But as usual, I have a pure ending that I want to do. Very pure. Uh-huh. And I believe if I saw it in a show. I would say that's the greatest thing I've ever seen. Right. But I want you to just put your money down. Okay. Are we gonna get away with it? Here's the premise. Okay. Uh I haven't got all the words yet, but uh starts out with an introduction. Yeah. as Robbie Liban used to say, give me twenty minutes and I'll give you an introduction to D Magic Trick. Where I say, when you're a magician, when you're known as a magician, uh when you've been on TV as a magician. And you're just going through life, there are things that people just say to you. Like if you're in an airport, they come up and go, hey, Ben, can you make this line disappear? Right? Yeah. But the one thing that everyone says. is they come up to you and say, Oh, you're a magician. Can you make my husband disappear? Yep. Can you make my wife disappear? All the time. All the time. We always get that. So we thought we are supposed to please the audience. So is there someone that wants They're spouse to disappear in the audience right now. Just raise your hand. And we don't want to stick with spouse, the old fashioned husband and wife, but a life partner of any sort that you've had enough of and you want them to disappear. People will raise their hands. We hope we don't know. Right. No one else does this trick. We don't know what's gonna happen, but presumably someone raise their hand, they'll come up on stage and I'll say which one of you wants to make the person disappear, which one of you wants to disappear. And if they can't decide, we'll flip a coin. Mm-hmm. And one of them goes into This box? That's way uh this an incredible trick. Uh by the way, brand new, brand new idea that Telder developed. Wow. Brand new idea. No other magician has ever done this. Middle of the stage, not close to the backdrop. Raised off the stage, no trapdoors, no bass, absolutely thin. You know, masonite, nothing. And um they stand there. And we close the curtains. No one's in there with them. No one's there to give them directions. Nothing's set up beforehand. And we give the person who's outside it a wand. And a hat. And we say, we've given you the magical power. Think about this. Do you really want to make that person disappear? And Try to make it heavy, we say, okay, go ahead. And it will be a flash wand. Have you ever used a flash wand? I haven't, but I know what you're talking about. Scary. Yes. It's it's pyro. Yeah. That you hit a button and the w wand explodes. Yeah. So it'll scare the shit out of. And when they do that, all four sides drop. And there is nobody there. Okay. Yeah. Now That's a fabulous trick. Right. Everybody loves that. That will kill. Here's the part that we want to see if we can get away with. They're gone. Big applause. And tell them I stand there. I thought this might be going. And stand there. And stand there. Yeah. And then say. Okay, you got your wish. Give us the wand, give us the hat. Go back to your show. And they're gone. They're gone. The rest of the show. Beyond the rest of the show. They're gone. We're gonna do it that way. Yes. The question is, can we keep it that way? Do you think we can do it? It's it's it's interesting because at some point it's really answering that's the thing, it's like most magicians when you first start to hear it, like when I first started hearing it, I was caught off guard. Oh I know this happened to other magicians, but I think this will start happening to me. Uh huh. But yes, it's a thing that every single person says. Yeah. And when you first hear it, you're like, that's so mean. Yeah. That's so cruel. And so And you would say misogynist, except it's often husband. Yeah, yeah, they go it goes both ways. It's the only thing that it's just people still have to say to magicians. It's the only thing that can pop in their head. Yeah and that's the thing that always makes me laugh the most. Can you imagine thinking you're the first person to say it? The arrogance. You're the first person to think of that and say it. Um So yeah, I think there's something like really satisfying about reflecting to the audience what that means. What it really means. It's such a mean thing to say. It's such a mean thing to do. And uh I think Having them we can easily get them back in the audience when they go back in the chairs to have the person there. Like What do you do? Are you a poker player? Yeah. Can you lose my wife in a poker game? Can you get her into sex slavery with some other high roller? So then you say good idea, by the way. Then you say You could have them appear in another part of the stage. Yeah. Four tric later they could appear. Yeah. They could walk on the stage and assist it. But I think there's no better thing than nothing. Right. That's the thing it's like Yes. Whether you go through it with it or not, is to have them come back at the end of the show in some way. In a surprising way that would make the audience go, like, wrong whatever. But I think nothing is great. Really great. But will it upset the audience? Cause they're never they're never gonna fully empathize with the magician's perspective of this request. Do you know what they mean? I'll work on it. That that's the challenge, I think. I want you to really think about this. I think I mean I'll say that. Right. That's what I mean. It's like I think if you get the rest of the audience to really be like Oh wow, that must be weird to hear all the time. Okay. That's really what you need to get. What I love about this is that person will be spirited. The person who's disappeared. Yeah. They'll be spirited off stage. Yeah. And then they'll be there with Nate and with Zeke. Yeah. And Dakota and Andre and Georgie. Maybe having a nice topo chico themselves. And those guys will say to them. They'll say to them What do you want to do? It's up to you. You have a few choices. You can stay back here and watch the whole show from backstage. Yeah. We can easily sneak you in a light booth, you can watch the show from there. Yeah. We can get you the back of a theater, you can watch the show from there. We're never gonna produce you again. When you appear to your spouse again is totally your choice. You can meet them in the lobby after the show. Right. You could be in the room when they get there. You can meet them in the casino or You can never see them again. You can get on a plane. It's your choice. Southwest just added so many direct flights to Mexico. And you know, our crew will just do it really casually. Yes. There won't be what do you want to do? It is and that and that notion's very exciting. Yeah. in that other person's hands. Yeah. That is nice. Make it a one person thing. Yeah. Come up behind them. When they're playing blackjack. Yeah. Put your hands on their shoulder. Whatever you want to do. If anything, it's almost like a turn. It's like up to this point, you've been the magician and you've done your thing. Now uh your disappear spouse becomes the magician. Yeah. Exactly. They figure out how they want to reappear. Yeah, they they they've had the help of better teller to fuck with you back. That is an extra layer that's very nice. That is a that is a nice layer. that will end up other people will share it. I think people will do YouTube videos. Yeah. People do, you know, and say, here's when I appeared to my wife. Yeah. You know. She she came she came into the room later that night and I was naked to bed with the hooker. You know, whatever. Yeah. Uh I mean, that sounds fun. Yeah. It'd also be great if you guys really nail it, because then every magician who's set gets set, like, hey, can you make Webers bear be like, no, that's Pen and Teller's bit. I can. It's been done. So that's what we're working on. I like I like the idea that yeah, this new vanish sounds amazing. The vanish, I I've seen I wasn't there, of course. I don't work any of this stuff. But I uh I just uh I saw a video. Beautiful. It's really I mean crazy good. Yeah. Uh also, you know, Johnny Thompson used to say, and uh he used to say other magicians decide how much money they put into something, how much they're gonna get out of it. Right. Right. So if you're putting in the amount of R and D, Tell's been working on this three years, right? Uh and the amount of money it's gonna cost us, which is enormous. Yeah. Uh You wanna get boom on stage. Boom reappear. Get a good solid fifteen minutes of your show based on this. We're hoping to get this all done in a minute and a half. No, and I love that. I've always loved that about you. I think that's like it's like I said, you've been a a foundational uh thing. I was talking about this with our uh friend Eric Buss, another fine magician. And when other magicians talk about how many minutes they get out of something, it's just a gross it's such a gross statement. It makes my stomach turn every time I hear it. But in my face, I let 'em know that it's fine. They can talk to you about all they want. But I just go like oh I get you know well I get eleven minutes out of this. And you're like that's such a gross way to look at magic. Uh or anything. I guess the dead can do that. Like oh we get you know we get twenty two minutes out of this song. What what are you talking about? What dead shows do you know? We get two and a half hours on a dark star. But imagine they brag like magicians after the fact that would be really funny. Oh an e-cord? Springs tea sitting around, yeah, I get like uh I get like an hour and a half out of my e-cord. I mean when you add 'em all up. All the E chords we play it's about an hour and a half of the show is an E chord. Yeah. Yeah. W sometime with a seven. No, I mean you always tell that great Arthur Penn story with the helicopter. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's like, you know, it's like Yeah. You know, it's expensive. We we we set we set up all day, but uh at the end of the day we got you walking out a lemo in a helicopter. It's done. No, that's it. It's done. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's always been a very powerful story with that kind of stuff. You you can't you have to separate your work from the audience. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I love it. I mean I I I do love it. I uh say that I love the idea entirely. I do I do think it's awesome. You know, I mean and if we if we check him out. Yeah Well actually we have uh Penadocle, which is a term peniteller never checking out. But uh but uh If we have to chicken out, the fix is instant. Bring them out at the end. Yeah, yeah. And if you can surprise them, if if they can already be on stage without the audience knowing, all of a sudden it's them that's gonna bring the house down, all that stuff is all true. There's one thing bringing the house down. There's another thing just going No one else would fucking do that. Right. And if you're not ending your show with it, it it's more powerful to your artistic notion. And it also makes it less of a big deal to not do that. Right. So if this is like your fifth trick in. Yeah. Then how you ended your show strongly you normally ended. Who gives a shit you didn't bring the other person back, you know? It's the fifth trick in your show, you know? And you I don't know whether I would leave it or whether I would do callbacks. And now they've appeared. No They disappeared, didn't they? I mean you could just do that. Yeah, or like, you know, whatever, yeah. Nate goes to scoots up and off stage and be like, no, wait, wait, is that Oh no, that's Nate. That's Nate. That's not. I thought it was gonna be Barbara but it's not Barbara. That's Nate. That's Nate. And now Barbara's up No, she's not in the Now you didn't say you ever wanted her brought back, did you? Yeah. No. You say now. You had to say it with a one in your hand. Yeah, it's oblivion. It's gone. Magic's gone. We fired it. Yeah. She's dancing with Epstein now. But you know, we get people that come to our show. Yeah. As you were saying, you get people in the princess cruise that want to pay extra. We get people that want to see a penitential show. Uh oh definitely. And there will be people who I'm sure we will get letters. Letters that say, uh I did not go back to my wife till the next day. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. She was at breakfast. I get a separate room. And that is actually something that even you probab this is something I don't know whether you'll like or not, but that is something you can add to it. once you're doing it. Yeah. You can tell them like if you think we're gonna bring it by the end of the show, we're not. Matter of fact, if people and you can just name things that people actually done. Yeah. And be like so for for the rest of you. Gone. We're moving on. The show moves on. Yeah. You know. Uh so like it does it yeah it leaves it leaves it leaves a nice it leaves a beautiful curiosity outside of the show. It also has a nice Um If we can impart this knowledge without laying it out. Yeah. It also has this really, really nice quality of I wish I were doing that. What would I do if I was disappeared. There's a small you used to have this in your trick, selfish. Yeah. With a w their video rolled on their phone the whole time. Yeah, yeah. And you you you would leave a curiosity as to like what was on that video. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that kind of thing is But also just the fact that you're sitting there with Sarah. Yeah, you're watching the show, this bit happens and you go If I were on stage and Sarah put me in that box. How would I how would I appear to her? No, this is where you brought Sarah up and this is where you you're gonna hate this, but the people who who are fans of the show Pippen will love this trick. Pippen ends like trying to get an audience up on stage to like kill themselves with uh by setting themselves on fire. Uh and there's usually d different different ways different productions kind of cheat their way out of it, kind of thing. Uh, but it's always like this bold thing where someone invite anyone up on stage and sometimes people say me and then we come up on stage and try to and do you have to end the show Pippin with a stranger on stage sometimes. Oh but they this the the they wish they had your trick to finish this show. They did they're Broadway people. Pippen did fine without pen and teller. Good point. As a matter of fact, the last production used to do a thing on their post that said, Pippen now without pen and teller. Just to remind people. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, after this goes up is gonna be with it. You're gonna strictly you're gonna farm out the Spanish to Pippin productions all over the world. Pippin' and teller. Uh that sounds super fun though. That's what we're working on. And we're putting it back in the vetriloquist bit. Oh nice. And I'm gonna put in soon, I think, my bit getting old. Which I told you about. Yes. So new stuff is going in. I like it. So I like it. We'll see. We're on Fallon. We're on Fallon. Uh what day are we on Fallon? June. After June seventh. June seventh? No, no, June 9th is a Tuesday. June 9th is Tuesday. I think we're on Fallon then. Awesome. Very nice. Um portrait. I gotta do nothing. Yeah I think I told you I can't play with the roots band. I know. It's too expensive. I would love to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. What a thrill that would be to play with those. They're monsters. Yes. Monsters. You didn't talk about your Spanish system, which is the same. No, but I think that's next time. Okay. I think we might have covered all the stuff we wanted to cover today. Any we got any shows coming up? Yes. We're in Toronto. Uh until we're in Toronto. June uh fifth. Fifth and sixth, I think. Okay. Oh then seventh we fly Okay, right, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Fifth and sixth the Friday Saturday. Either eighth or ninth we're at on Fallon. Okay, cool. You watch a bull night, so he's pretty good. Yeah, he's a funny funny guy. People like him. I like him. Uh Yeah, no, I'll be uh at the Magic Castle June first through the seventh. And then back at the magician's room every uh every Tuesday and Wednesday through the end of June. And Piff and Pop are gonna be at the Magic Castle, I think the first week of August, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday. And we are doing um the second half. H what will be the Piffin Pop show in England. I did the Magicians Podcast, a subscription podcast, hosted by our friend Richard Young from Young and Strange. And he asked me I believe half heartedly, but maybe part heartedly, whether you and you were doing that show with Piff for money. For the money. Do you realize Pay cut on pay cut? To do the piffin' pot. That was my full throated answer. I said to Piff How much will I walk away with from the Piffin Pop tour of 11 shows? Yeah. And he said, Well, we're working that out with Glenn, but if you decide to stay in nicer hotels. That amount is close to zero. I'm doing the Piffin Pop show essentially for Yeah, no I I I knew that it was not there's no nothing close to it being The question is if it will cost me money and how much. Yeah. 'Cause I decided that for my opening hunk, I'm doing fifty I'm now Clark Kenton Superman, you know. Yes. Because I opened the show, it's Pendulette. Yeah. And I'm wearing my glasses. And then it's pop, I'm not wearing my glasses. So no one will recognize me. But uh I want to do uh misdirection and nail gun in my solo hunk. Yeah. Right? Yeah and getting those props to England. is the profit I was gonna make. It is. Yeah. No no that's actually I'm not laughing at a disbelief. Those are the dollar amounts. Mailgun takes up more space than people imagine. Uh-huh. It's a it is a it is a big thing to move around. And uh and uh and you know, gorilla outfits and all that stuff I want to do. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we're also doing expensive stuff during the Piff and Pop section. Yeah. So uh but we are doing just so you know, people are ready. We are doing spectators, you're into impossible location. That's the big encore. That's what we're talking about. Yeah, yeah. How could he think? I laughed really hard at the intimidation. You can stay in Vegas. Yeah. Crew is on salary. Yeah they're on salary. Okay. Which means if they're not working, it costs me the same as if they are working. Right. You understand what salary means? I do know, yeah. Okay. That's what salary means. Yeah. The room. is our room and we pay rent whether we're there or not. Right. Not rent, really, it's more confusing, but everybody And the advertising we pay for whether we're there or not. Right. So if I stayed in Vegas in September, okay, I have all that paid for. then people come and give me money and I do the show. And I have how much hotel do I spend? Uh you don't you don't need a hotel when you're in Vegas spend and food I cook at home. That's right. Right. With no plastic anyway. Right. And I drive in to my fiat five hundred E that uses as much to get to the theater and back as a light bulb. Trump can make gas prices go to ten dollars a gallon. It doesn't matter. Doesn't matter to me. Yeah. Other people I care about, but for me it doesn't matter. Yeah. I plug in at the Rio. That's paid for. I make money in Las Vegas. I make money. When we play, um in you know what's called I I don't know if this is racist, maybe Native American casinos, I guess what you call them. Okay. When we play those casinos and we have five thousand people in the audience. Yeah. And it's sold out. Yeah. Do you think I make money from that? I do. Yes. And they give me my room. Yeah. And the crew is already paid. Yeah. They give paid. And I have rice and beans and baked potatoes and asparagus and broccoli backstage. That's just in the rider. Yeah I write into the rider, it shows up. I just add it in, hey, could I get some like unsalted raw almonds and peanuts backstage? shows up. Does it take off for my money? No. When I'm with Piff You have to buy your own omit. Buy my own buy my own everything, for Christ's sake. I was told by Glenn they'll be taking a van from place to place. And I said, I don't I don't they said well you can take a train. It'll be on your own dime. So what I've essentially got is Mike Nesmith tour with the monkeys. Yes. Okay. Do you think Mike Nesmith tour with the monkeys for money? No he did not. Gee. I'll tell you something else. Yeah. I don't even think Piff's doing it for money. I don't think so either. No. I don't think so either. Piff can make more money in his theater. Yeah. We're doing it because we want to do Piff and Pop. Yes. Not that there's anything wrong with doing stuff for money. Right. That's terrific. But boy, he's an idiot. That was Pet Sunday School brought to you by Masterclass.com slash pen. Yeah. And their wonderful sponsor get 15% off by going to masterclass.com slash pen. And uh we'll talk about Spanish another time. I got a great story. This new guy met Spanish. But that was Penn Sunday School. Tchau, tchau, tchau. You become a Naked. Making buddy? Has he never done shoppings? Oh yeah! Going to Going to Manchester with Pim! That's a moneymaker. Sunday school And you know we love you. We love you so much. Hey Matt, you have anybody to thank? Yes, I want to thank the following people support us on our Patreon page. Uh thank you guys so much. These people support us at a higher tier, they get thanked on air. Uh check out patreon.com slash pen to find a tier that fits your budget today. Uh I want to thank Dante Peace, Damian Martin, Garth Reynolds, Adam Luce, Timo Teehoff, Mark Pickenheim, Adam Bersens, Carlos Alvarez, Ross Devereaux, Ryan Matthews Bacher. Oh I meant to say this earlier. 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