Reflecting on career changes and momentum

Hello, okay, before we get started with the show, I wanted to let you know that we have tour tickets now available. Thank you so much to everyone who has come out to the Pastu Tours. This is my third tour. We're doing about fifteen cities and we'll probably add some more dates early next year. But if you haven't been to a Perfect Person Live show , it is a transcendent experience actually . It's everything that you like about the show. When you enter the venue during a Purple Person Live show, you write down your problem on a little note card, and then me and the rest of the crew go through all of those problems right before the show and select the best of the best, call those people up on stage and they come and join us and we solve their problem in front of the crowd. Sometimes those problems are extremely juicy and usually those problems are extremely ridiculous. I'm always joined by some perfect guest who is a regular on the show or someone I just think is really, really funny. In addition to that, there is a written element that changes tour de tour. So the first tour was kind of about my relationship with the audience and my relationship as a like advice giver. The second tour was kind of about interconnectedness and feeling close with other people and also kind of like a little bit about tragedy. And this tour is called the Gray Area Tour and it's called the Grey Area Tour because it's a little bit about that gray area between good and bad, between black and white, where things get a little bit interesting. I do stand up throughout the show. There are theatrical elements, there's music cues, there's lighting cues, etc. It is an absolute blast. I am so excited for you guys to see what we've been working on. And if you want to come and see the Perseason Live Show, then you can come to the following cities. We're doing shows in National St. Louis, Indianapolis, Washington, DC, Philadelphia, New York, Boston, Toronto, Chicago, Minneapolis, Denver, Seattle, and Portland, with an LA show and a San Francisco show to be announced. We just released tickets for Boston. We're doing the Wilbur again , which is a colossal venue . And last time we had a giant show there. I want to make sure the Boston shows up because the other smaller venue was not available and I think we could pack that puppy full to the freaking brim. I am very excited to see all of you at the live shows, give you a little bit of ice on stage, chat with people, etc . The meeting and greets are almost sold out in I think,, almost every city. So if you want me and greet tickets where you get priority seating and then also we get to hang out before the show, then please get on those soon so you don't miss out. Love you guys. See you on the road . This is a head gum podcast . Guys, as a busy beaver business owner and a daddy , I that my sleep is n neongotiable. I need it to be deep and I need it to be quick because I don't have that much time left to sleep . At the end of the day, when work pushes me late into the night, I know that it's time to hop into bed and get it done . And I can do so with the glorious comfort of bowl and branch. Bowl and branch bedding is designed for exactly the kind of rest I need from the Signature Organic Cotton sheets, plus pillows breathable blankets and temperature regulating comforters, everything is made to create a bed that truly supports perfect sleep. Bowl and branches have quality that you just notice. The first time I swapped my sheets for bowling branch sheets, I was immediately immersed in the delicious comfort of something soft and pleasurable. Also, the waffle blanket is incredibly comfy. It is the blanket that we move from room to room. Sleep cooler this summer with Bullen Branch their an dnuringual summer event. For a limited time, get twenty percent off site wide at bowlin branch. com slash perfect person with code perfect person. That's Bolin Branch BL A N D B R A N C H ot Com slash perfect person. Code perfect person to take twenty percent off B.owanling brch dot com size every person, code every person, exclusions apply. Hello and welcome to Perfect British Show where I'm Perfect and you're of course a person myself lord . Sorry, I had a misfire. And I actually pressed the wrong freaking butt. Hey, I get it, I've been there. Yeah, you get it. We have all been there . But recently I've actually been using the dry cleaner to repair my clothes. Yeah, if you go and you say, can you actually sew that? They'll actually do it for that. So whoa. And I just said that because actually right as we started I have a hole in my sweater and it kind of got stuck in the my arm , but I had shorts and I thought there was no goddamn way I was ever gonna be able to wear them again. And then my wife was like, No, you can just ask the dry cleaner and they do it and it's not expensive. You just so they'll fucking fix your shit for you because I am not handy enough to sew that for me. I knew that they would like hem stuff, but I didn't know that they would repair. Yeah, they'll, if you have a hole in a sweater and a fucking thing, they'll go, yeah, yeah, we got it and they'll fix it. I used to really like getting my pants hemmed when I was a kid. That's like do you have short legs? Well, yeah, yeah, I'm like shorter. Sure. So you get they cut off the ends of my pants, but like it was almost like ASMR, like they 'cause they fold it and it like razes past your ankles and it's like a nice satisfying feeling. See, I always had my pants were too short or too long because I am sort of too tall right I'm too tall with a nitty bitty waist and so I have to like, you know ad,just for that. Oh no. And so often we'd be shopping at like this store called Rugged Warehouse. That was like if Ross Dress for Less fell off a truck. Rugged warehouse. Oh yeah. Rugged name. Fuckin' comment ers, shout out to Rugged Warehouse. If you've ever got jeans with the dollar sign on the butt, you shopped in Rugged Warehouse. That's what you were wearing. Oh yeah, it was like, I mean, it was the cheapest pants you could possibly buy. It was like, if you went stress for less, you'd be like, oh yeah, these are like off brand pants that didn't sell. And you go to a regular warehouse and it was like these are like off brand street wear that nobody wanted. That's so cool. I'm picturing you with like just dollar signs everywhere and then like sewn on extra long pants. Yeah, not even gonna lie like pad pants would be like on the back pocket like dollar sign bedazzled. Yeah. And I was wearing that middle school. Yeah. A lot of the woman in my family growing up had led bedazz back pocket jeans. And there was a fashion there for a reason. Yeah, 'cause they're watching these things. They're coming back. They're kind of coming back. And also, I would wear shirts that had like get money. Like, this was like not my brand, but it was my brand because we would watch a black stuff is it me? Is it me? Am I awesome? But anyway, I'm on the show joined by Erin Dougal . Erin welcome to the show. Welcome back. Oh my God, thank you for having me. When you probably did the last did the show like two years ago. When the hell was that? I don't know, but I realized because we were gonna film this yesterday, which was an election day for Los Angeles. Yes, absolutely. And the last time I was here, it was on an election. It was. It was. Oh my god. And I was like, I wonder why . I always have Erin's sharp political commentary back in the election day. That is so funny. Well, Erin, what makes you perfect to be here today on the show to answer the people's problems? I no longer suffer with constipation and so that's good. Solve that. I solved constipation. Really? And what's the solve? Fiber . Really? There have been studies. There's been a lot of studies. There's a lot of studies that's why fiber. I'm gonna keep talking about fiber, I guess. Fiber is, I would say, important, and I've been trying to, I would say mostly only eat fiber. Yeah, that's so good because they weren't telling us to eat fiber until like recently. That's a good point . Yeah, that was one of those things that was they did not deem as that important . Yeah. Yeah. I'm sort of celery. Fiber is fruits and vegetables, right? I'm sorry, celery. Is that fiber? Is that fiber? Fiber like fruits and vegetables have fiber. Yeah. Are fiber more? Because in my mind, it's fibrous, like a celery has, you know what I mean? It's got like floss on it. I don't know what fiber is. I just know we're supposed to be consuming. Well, think about it this way. The fabric then holds things together. Yeah, a fiber of that fabric. Right. So to me, something with a lot of fiber has got to be right. Like and that's your like a carrot or an acely. I see your logic. I don't know if it's true. Well, we'll have to fact check that. Yeah, someone will let you know. Let me know in the comments. It's on a log. Fiber . Fiber or not . Well, Erin, before we even get to the freaking calls, we have to calibrate your advice via the per fect person speed round. . Yes So I'm gonna freak and throw a bunch of questions at yeah, and you're going to say hm , yeah, actually this is how I feel about that. Okay . Here we go . Perfect speed round starts now. Perfect cocktail. Apparel spritz. Aperol spritz. I think that's delicious. Are you having Aperol spritz at home? No, actually, I actually do have two in my fridge 'cause they started bottling them. Oh yeah. That's kind of fun. Yeah. Premixed. Yeah, it's like aper ol, the company sells dumb and bottles you know? Oh, that's kind of awesome. Yeah, it was very smart. It's kind of chic. I'm like a grenade person more, but I do, I can fuck it in . I wish I liked cool alcoholic drinks. I never have an answer for that . That's like worth sharing. And Pearl Spritz is a cool answer. Thank you. I think that's cool. Thanks. You get a little mara in there. Perfect thing that makes you cry. I can't say that. Oh my God, what were you invited to say? Please, please say what it was. What was it? Paraplegic dogs . Oh , I don't think I'm so sorry I'm crying . And why? And you just mean like they're so sweet, they're so like it's just like they don't deserve Like they really just like don't deserve that . Oh my god, that's so funny. And where are you where are you finding this? They're on the street. Like sometimes you're just walking and just see them. And you see like a and do they have the 'cause I've seen dogs that have no use of their back legs they have like wheels. The wheels is easier to digest, but if they're like missing a limb. Oh sure. Tears. What's amazing about dogs really did the did make it cry ? But what's awesome about that is like there are dogs with three legs and they're like great. Like they're fine and they can run and it's awesome. Yeah dogs are awesome. My parents dog might not be able to walk. This is sad now. I don't know why I brought that up. Okay, that's okay. Life is, you know, interesting and wild. Your parents dog might have a build Is the dog really old? No, so he's three, but he's a French bulldog and those dogs have so many problems. Like they just they should not exist because they've been in a bred so much. Yeah. And so they often will just like slip a disc and then like can't walk anymore.'s at So r heis k of it. Oh, I was like, oh no, my biggest weakness coming true. My biggest weakness , hey, look, the passage of time, you know, we all will get older. That's true. And I will say this dog is a demon. Like he's rude, he attackss me. He' best . He doesn't like you. No . He's living. Not to say he deserves it. No, he doesn't, he doesn't. Parapelgic dogs. Oh my goodness. Perfect childhood memory. Um None. No, I can think of one. I can think of one. I can have a bad childhood . I'm sor sory this is, how f youight'reing out in a way . No, I have to have one. Oh my god. Um , I just keep thinking of really bad like things to share. Please by the way, if I say perfect child memory, you h heorarr a ifying incident. I think that's perfect. I said paraplegic dogs like now I'm on that mind. Yeah, you're not mine set. Yeah . There was this one time we went to Disney World and there was a tornado outside and I tried to warn my parents and they didn't believe me. They were like , It's the sounds of the pool, go to sleep. Oh my god. And then we woke up and there was a tornado that like blew through the door. Oh my god, did anyone get hurt? No, luckily no, no, no one got hurt. It just like blew down like trees and stuff it.' Ands like it's not common for Florid a to get to tornadoes. It's not. I guess hurricanes is more . Yeah. Hurricanes is more. Yeah. It blew through Disney. Not Disney. We were like staying at like a like a house nearby . We were staying in a house. These are the answers you've been wanting . This is perfect. You were staying in the house that you rented? That's a thing. Like you could rent houses like Airbnb and me, and I feel like it was less going up. There's no fur boat. My parents were ahead of time. Oh my god. Yeah, they were like, Can we rent your house for just a day? Yes. Perfect sandwich. Just like turkey . Holy shit, that's your perfect sandwich just like turkey. What? Is that a brand? No. Oh, I don't know. It's I can't believe it's not Birdie butter. I can't believe it's not birdie. My dog's name is Birdie. I can't believe it's not butter and just like turkey. Just like turkey. Wow. That's your perfect deathbed death row sandwich, just turkey . There's got to be no there's got to be a better one. There's gotta be a better one. It's just like such a classic staple can. like You rely on it. What else is on it? So I have been eating turkey sandwiches probably every day, so I think that's why I answered this and it is just turkey . Just turkey, yes, sir. Just turkey cheese. Usually like a shudder I don't know why this is really fun to make me laugh it's just the idea of you being like I'm just fixing I don't know why this makes me laugh fixturing you in your home alone eating a turkey sandwich is just really . Listen, when you're unemployed, you don't have a lot of options. Staring at the wall ? Eating a turkey? That's what I'm gonna do later. I think Turkey is a great sandwich. Thank you. I'm not trying to turkey turkey. Turkey's good. Perfect coffee order. Okay, okay.. This one will be good Okay, huge. Lately, I've been really into like an orange iced mocha. Whoa. I'm obsessed with orange and my coffee right now. I think the citrus and coffee is a good combo. It's so good. Yeah. I'll do an like espresso tonic, which is sort of orangey or lemony. Yeah, which is kind of what. They don't say that. They're always just like, oh yeah, espresso tonic. Also includes citrus. It's just a surprise. Yeah, you think it's gonna be tonic. I've honestly something I want to, I guess I maybe shouldn't even say this because it's a billion dollar business idea. But I do think that it would be cool. It's like you don't see espresso tonic in a can? No. I think you could easily do that. You could. You could, but that hasn't been done successfully enough. No, I think like a coffee drink that is citrusy and like a little tiny bit sweet , can cold bruise a thing, but you don't see that. That's true. I think that that could be a cool factor. Would you include the hints of citrus on the packaging or just be like surprise flavor profile. And a surprise. I think I probably have one no sitch and one. It's like carbonated coffee in the room. I was shooting a episode of my so gravyard shift and I had a carbonated like milk . Oh , and it was totally interesting. It was called milk and milk. Milk is Korean Milkis. It was a Korean drink. That's super common in Korea apparently, but it's like carbonated milk yogurt. And you drink it and it tastes like carbonate. It tastes like cream soap. I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued. It was kind of wild. Perfect friend of yours. I'm gonna say my sister. Oh, that's so nice. That's very sweet. Pro candy. Lemonhead. Lemonhead. Lemon cand y. I get worried. I'm gonna choke on lemon head. They are pretty chokeable. My friend shot at Mike. When he was a kid, he almost died choking on a hot tamalay or whatever. The like or fire hot, what are they called? Hot? The red ones. The red like red hot red hots. Yes. Literally red hots. And he said that his dad had like given the fucking hot and he was like Oh my god and it probably burned Oh my god my son will never have argued as long as you make fair. The perfect nut. Macadamia. Actually, you'd agree. Okay, great. I think Macadamia is really, really good. I think it's like the perfect amount. Brazil nut I can get behind. I've never had one. You've never had a you're an alien. You've never had a Brazilian. I'm sorry. What is a Brazil nut in? Name one thing. Sorry, you eat a turkey sandwich. I was an alien. But a Brazilian nut you never know a Brazil nut? What name one thing it's in? A mixed nut . A mixed nut package. I never questioned what type of nuts are in a mixed nut package. So you've been it's kind of waxy is how I would describe it. Okay, it's almost macadamia style, but it's long and it's kind of big. I probably had one. You probably. And I probably just thought this is a nut . Okay, on second thought, I probably have had one. I gotta kick the light. Final question. Perfect vacation. Hm . Italy. Turkey . It was right there, I should have said it. Italy. I love Italy, of course. Yeah, obviously Eperl Spritz. I think that's why I said it. It made me miss Italy. Now I sound annoying. Oh I, miss Italy . Oh my God, I really miss it. Tuscany in the summer ? No, I do like Italy a lot. It's great. I feel like did you feel like you're always posting about traveling solo to foreign places now. I love a solo trip. Yeah. That is wild to me. I don't think I've ever done that. I think everyone needs to go on a solo trip at some point in their life. It is like life changing. When you're solo traveling, how do you dictate your itinerary? Are you like museuming or are you just like today's what I do? Like this is what it is, what it do? I wake up and go what do I want to do today? There's no plans. That's kind of it's so nice. But see, what are you talking about? You're being like, I'm on short form. That's pretty like, you're right. My long form is the world. No, and literally, that's like pretty anti short form propaganda. It's like solo traveling to Italy. That is true. That is true. Solo travel, get out there. Well, Aaron, you've successfully passed the speed route. Think who Wow . And you are now calibrated and ready. Perfect the calls . But before we do, if you like the show, consider rating and subscribing on every single platform so you don't miss an episode. And if you love the show, consider joining me on Patreon where you can get the ad free extend ed version of every single episode, including this one where we waxed all about Erin firing somebody from a sleepover when she was a child You can hear that story and also bonus episodes every single Friday where I do wild twists on the format and I call back people to get their updates on how my advice changed their life and how they've turned out since we last chatted. Also , my show graveyard shift is on YouTube The second season should be entirely out by this point . It's the show where I go to twenty four hour diners after midnight and I review the feud and I ask the guests and staff existential questions. It is super fun. I'm super proud of it, and I would love if you would go watch it. So until then it's time we answer the calls. Let's do it . If you're like me, you want your house to be a reflection of your cool brain and Cozy is a modular furniture brand that makes everything easy, from shopping to assembly, cleaning, and reconfiguring your space. You may be thinking, What even is modular furniture? Well, modular furniture means you can fully customize your living space and rearrange it whenever you feel. It's your space, so it's your call . And you can absolutely move everything all around. You can freakin' turn two separate sofas into one big sofa. And the best part, removable and washable covers , babe. Yeah , I'm spilling coffee all over my blouse and all over the furniture . And luckily with Cozy, I can just take it off the furniture. My blouse is another story though. If you spill something these are stain resistant covers that you can just freakin wash. 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Makes it all possible. The best part, removable and washable covers. If you know me, you know I'm spillin' piping on coffee all over my clothes and or couch , but now the couch can actually just be removable covers and that can be wash ed so it's glorious and stain free. And it doesn't stop at so y offers rug, side tables, coffee tables, dining tables, dining chairs, shelves, outdoor furniture and their brand new bed frame . So if you want a delicious sl,ash , beautiful space, maybe not delicious because that is what you say about flavors, transform your living space today with cozy. Visit cozy dot com that's coscey dot com The home of possibilities made easy . When I've got a new hobby, the first thing I do is pop on to Reddit, R slash, whatever that hobby is dive deep. 'Cause let me just tell you something . If you want information , Reddit is the place for you to go, whether it's coffee recipes, whether I'm troubleshooting a computer problem, or whether I just want to know more about a niche problem that I feel like I'm the only one experiencing, Reddit makes me feel seen and gives me the information that I need. Reddit fits into my day however I need it to, sometimes for researching products, sometimes for advice and sometimes just for ent ertainment. I used to think Reddit was just for like specific niche problems but it truly is for everything. If I'm playing a new video game, you know I'm hopping on Reddit to see what other people are saying or little hidden tips or hidden tricks or if, I watch a new movie and I'm into a new fandom, Reddit is also a great place to celebrate that fandom and interact with other people who are as dorky as I am. If I want honest reviews, behind the scenes insights on shows I love or help figuring something out, Reddit is the first place I go. So whatever question you're dealing with, whatever problem you're stuck on, Reddit already has the answers. Download the Reddit app and get answers on R slash explain Lake and five or R slash AITA. Download the Reddit app today . Hi Miles, how do I get my boss to stop trying to source like cremated remains? The whole trip thinks it's a terrible idea, but she still seems to be going through with it. Thanks . The whole studio thinks it's a bad idea. What does this fold? The thought I had was maybe it's like clay. Maybe she's trying to put like a but why would you do that? Why can you buy cremated remains? Where are you you buying?? Where I think it's an off after market thing. We got to call this person back. Okay, so yeah, yeah, after how do you source why would you need that? Right . Hello. Hello, you call Berfieberson. I'm here to call you back. I am here with Erin Dugal . Oh my god, hi . Hi, Erin, what's the fake name for this caller? Gertrude. Gertrude, Gertrude, thank you so much for giving us a call . I understand you sort of have a sicky situation slash predicament and I would love to pick your brain about it. Why is your boss trying to get cremated remains? , you know, I wish there was a truly I wish it wasn't happening to the right sir. It obviously does not need to be, I think in any workplace, except probably the very specific one that it should be in. But I just moved provinces and got a ceramics job . So that's kind of our yes. Okay, interesting . So you work at a ceramics company, you make pottery, et cetera, and your bosss want to put body like your boss wants to put the dead ashes of human beings in the pottery. Yes We teach like ceramic classes. You know, it's like beginners and everybody. We do like open studios. So if you do pottery, you can come in and make stuff . And she got like a call from one person who was interested in putting some ashes in clay and they asked if that was a thing that we could do. And I guess she said yes and came up to me one day, the brand new employee and was like, Hey , think of some ideas that someone could make with ashes in clay and make some samples . And I was like, yeah, that's great. I'll come up with some ideas and make some things and show it to her. And as time kind of went on, she was like, yeah, no, it'll be fine. But the kind of weird thing is about our ceramics studio is that I'm the only one with a ceramics degree . Like she doesn't actually a whole bunch about clay . She owns she owns a ceramic studio. She doesn't know anything about clay . Yeah . She 's typical . She doesn't actually make anything in the ceramics . And for folks who have no clay experience , bone ash is like a thing you can put in clay , but it's usually like cattle bones and it's like bone in China. So it's, you know, it's something you can put into the clay to make it do stuff . So as I'm making my samples, I'm like , okay , this could do something to the clay and she's very safe. So she doesn't want like any kind of weird mishaps to happen in the kiln and I'm thinking this could do something . Who is bones. Hey, yeah, this is I guess my question is like, is this she wants ashes that she has to be put into the clay? The person who called us, yes, so it's like she gets specific ashes. Okay, cool. Yeah , it's weird in every single way because just one person asked for a class and now she wants to make it something that everyone can come do and like bring their ashes in , but that kind of feels like a safety hazard I kind of think it I'm guessing you probably don't want to be breathing in cremated remains. There's got to be safety concerns . There's got to be safety concerns there. I mean , I guess it's pretty cremated. So anything that's alive it is, but yeah, I was of course immediately going to Reddit to like find people who work in crematoriums to be like, hey, is this like something that's bad to inhale? And what was it? It's definitely not something you want to, but it's not like , you know, there's no like diseases in it because it's been baked all over the place. But I guess I'm also like if I own a ceram studicio, this is probably a premium offering . Like people would say it's sort of like you go to funeral home and it's like everything's really expensive because people are taking advantage. If I own a ceramic studio, I'm like, yeah, we do do ash pottery. It's really fucking expensive , but the people that want it are gonna probably try to great get it. Yeah. So Erin, would you work with someone's dead remains in a pottery store like this? Personally no. You would want to do that. It might just be me. Yeah, yeah, a little skettish around ash . Yes. And did you say that she wants samples, so she wants to find ashes to create the sample ? Yeah . That's where the problem came in. So I made some stuff just with normal clay, but in our meeting I was like, Hey , this could maybe do something if you glaze it or like we probably have to sift the ashes to knead it into the clay in the first place and this kind of feels like a maybe slightly icky project . So kind of trying to like undermine her idea here . And then doubled down and went, well, does anybody know like anyone who works in the veterinary business? So we started kind of at that angle . And all of us were like, absolutely not. We don't. Let's not do that. We don't know any dead animal carcasses we could just use that is crazy . I yeah the thing about ashes is it's like yeah they're they're all dust it's all just gonna look like dust but the reality of them is like more haunting than what they actually are exactly. You know, like which is not what she's sort of getting and that is crazy. Every time yeah, every time she walks up to me and I have a special project for you, I'm like crossing my fingers that it isn't a ziplock baggie of something later on she was talking about talking to like funeral homes. So we moved from pet ashes that we all said no to people just give people away like that . No, we don't know what we say. Do they just have like, oh yeah, you know what? We've got Carl. He was actually a vehicular homicide, but it's crazy. You can't give away people's ashes like they certainly belong to the families no . This is so I think unfortunately, your boss is on like the track that is, your boss is gonna start killing people . Yeah . Well that's living slow. She's a very interesting person and I feel like if you said that my boss was slowly poisoning her husband, I would say that that would track. Why do you feel that way . Well, I am again new employee . So I've been kind of soaking up everything to learn about this place from my fellow coworkers who are all lovely . And she is married but doesn't really talk about her ailing husband much and doesn't seem to like him as well . And she's just she's just quite the character. So I feel like if one day she were to rock up with a lot of ashes. It would be right. Yeah. it's tough. Yeah. Erin, if you were working at Power Studio and you requested this, how would you get out of it in a creative way that made everyone happy. So since she doesn't know a lot about pottery , I think I would hire like an actor come in and be like the pottery authority department. The pottery department? Yes sir. Yeah, , you need a pottery liaison ranger. Yes. I mean, like, I heard you're making pottery with dead people and pets. Oh, by the way, there has to be a safety case. There has to be by the way, even just like heating up ashes . Like, I would actually bet that there are laws against working with human remains. Right that you cannot do. Like imagine like , yeah, you can't just fuck her out. I'm literally thinking not ethical. It's reheating other people's nachos in the worst absolutely works. I feel like I'm going crazy because that has to be something , right? Like you can't just have that . Yeah, like it's not like you can't as the same thing is like you can't eat human remains. Like we're like we're gonna start baking cakes with fucking ashes in the mouth. Well, then you could bring in things that are not human or animal remain ashes and then have someone like eat them and be like, look at what could happen. Some people say that they like yeah, this is all bad. It's all bad. It's all very bad. And I think that what you need to say is like, hey, I actually looked it up and unfortunately legally you really can't do it or you can be shut down and beyond that it can destroy the kiln. That's like true. Like I would just I would literally be like actually true. I heard that if you put this type of thing , like there can be microcomposites of minerals in human land teeth or teeth. There could be by the way. The teeth could fuck up the killed kilns. There's a way there could be teeth. Definitely hunked in there . So first of all, it would just be a terrible class to have someone now confront in front of me in real time the consistency of their ashes that they're now going to put into clay and then make into a cute little trinket to have on their shelf forever. Sorry the ide a of revealing a hunk is like really want to throw up. That's fucking fucking . And like also by the way it',s dangerous. You're trying to pottery wheel it and then it cuts your hand. Right. And it's a tooth of your loved one. And there could be diseases in that tooth. Well, there probably aren't because it's cooked. Right. But unfortunately. But within fortunately. Within yeah, I think you gotta make up that not even make up. Look up the local laws about what it's like to work with human remains and I would imagine that there's probably gonna be laws against this . There have to I was actually there to be. I was actually just talking to somebody about we're talking about Greek , like how a lot of the old Greek tragedies and stuff, like about the gods and like the Gracian myth and whatever are about they have ties to like how they were you know, one of them is there's this group of people that are eating humans. And then they're like, no, you can't eat humans anymore. Like, that's horrible. Yeah. And it's probably because like in real time, they were like, yeah, there's a bunch of cannibals and like you have to create lore such that they can't eat each other . And I think this is the same thing. So you have to tell your boss that there are legal slash ethical concerns about people working with yeah the barbarian bodies of it all. Yeah . Well thank you so much for calling in. This is horrifying. And best of luck out there. I think hiring an actor is a great option and also just maybe even being like I looked it up and a pottery studio upstate was shut down. Oh, that's good. We're doing the exact same thing. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for calling in. I hope you have a wonderful day. Gertrude. Gertrude. Gertrude . And best of luck out there . Thank you so much. All right, bye Gertrude . Bye . That's disgusting. I wasn't expecting pottery studio. What did you think they were using it for? I actually didn't put any thought into it. I was like, I just assumed like film TV. Like maybe they're wanting to be really method. Oh my god, that's so fucking gross. There is no environment in which that makes sense. No, there's zero. Also, just the idea that you can go to the funeral home and they've got ashes on lock for you. Right, that can't be true. I can't be true. That has to be so illegal . Yeah, that's like the black market does that. Right. Well, that makes sense. Yeah, ashes on demand. Yeah. For you. Yeah, that's fucking nightmare. All right, we gotta take another call here. Hi Miles. I was car dragged and I'm worried that I was awkward during the situation . Me getting robbed oh my shock and that it was embarrass ing in my interaction with the guy. So call me back. That moment when you give the carjacker the ick . Which like if then he gives up sorry. I actually don't want your car. I don't want your car. It's not cool. But they getting carjacked and you feel embarrassed . I feel so bad for this person. We got to call this person back. Oh my god . My car has been stolen like three times in LA by the way . Hello . You call for every person I'm here to call you back. I'm here with Aaron Dugal. Hi Trying to hit the button . My buttons aren't working . Oh my god, my buttons are literally fucking about embarrassing. That was literally so embarrassing, Color. I just tried to hit the fucking soundboard buttons and they froze and didn't respond. Oh , oh my god. They're literally they're, dead . The soundboard buttons are dead. No more soundboard. This is so insane. But Erin, what is the fake name for this person? Bartholomew. Balth omle . Bartholomew. Yeah, thank you so much for calling in. Bartholomew , what is going on? And when were you carjacked slash, when did you embarrass yourself in front of the carjacker? So it was like quite a while ago. It was like seven years ago. Oh my gosh. So long ago. I'm still thinking about this. To be fair, the trial took five years, so it just wrapped up a couple years ago. Oh my god, there was a trial. That's wild. Yeah, it was an insane story. Like the whole situation was crazy. And because of the way the situation worked out, I had like a pretty extensive conversation while being carjacked. What? What was the conversation like? Yeah . Okay, so basically I was at a gas station and I was pumping gas and this guy approached me and asked if I could give him a ride. And I was like, No, sorry, like I went in the other direction. And then he pulled out a gun and was like, give me your truck and your money and I was like okay , sure, whatever, take that like as long as it's like I'm okay. So I go to like take the gas pump out of the car and he's like, no keep pumping gas . So I had to stand there and pump gas with a gun pointed at me . This is so horrifying, Jesus, I'm so sorry. Yeah, well, it was crazy because it was broad daylight on a Sunday afternoon in a packed g aas station. Wow. There were people around. There was no reason this happened, but anyway, the guy was crazy and it was really every piece of the story is crazy. He had one leg. He had a prosthetic leg and a guitar case and a guitar case . Yes, that's all he had. A prosthetic leg and a guitar case. And he told you to keep, he said, keep pumping. Yes. So I had to like stand there and pump the gas and we had like an awkward conversation where he was like , I'll dump the truck. Will you give me your number? And I was like, I don't know that I want this guy to have my number. So I said no, but I'm like, Should I have said yes? He asked for your phone number like, so you guys get hangout? What the fuck? He said he was gonna dump the car, but I was like, I feel like we'll find the car. I'm like, you gonna text me? I don't know. I wasn't really thin king obviously. So I said no. He said so he was he was like, give me your number so I can give you the car back. Like this is I can tell you where I dumped it basically, which was weird kind of a respectful ging. Yeah, 'cause he's asked. You all asked before and like, can't get it a ride? Give me a ride. Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't really asking. Now I have to steal it. Yeah, and I wasn't really asking . And he also asked if it was a manual or automatic because he couldn't I sent out a later because he couldn't drive a manual with his prosthetic leg because of a clutch. Oh, sure. But this is kind of asking questions like he's buying a car. No, literally like by the way, like yeah, what's the AC ? He works for the car. That is so interesting. I mean, I guess, you know, he had somewhere to be. You know, he clearly had somewhere to be . Yeah. I don't think he was going to c aity like two hours away, but he drove to another state and then he went for a joy ride on a golf course and cooked some donuts and crashed it into a ditch and got arrested . Oh , and then why was there a trial? Yeah. Why did they take it to trial? Well, because he was arrested and then apparently we gave we offered him a plea deal and he wouldn't take it. He was trying to make an insanity defense. Then he decided to represent himself then he. And kept firing and firing attorneys for five years. Oh my god, this is like such a fucking nightmare. Yeah, dude. Yeah . And then they tried to schedule the trial for my graduation day of college . No. This is like a fucking life ruining Yes. Like what a pain in the ass that you while you're in college, this is all going on behind the scenes. You're like, I gotta go to the freakin trial. College, I was, I was about to turn eighteen . Oh , oh my gosh when it happened. But yeah, no, it was crazy. But honestly, like as traumatic as it was, it's the craziest story ever and I just honestly it's a great story . But mostly I have been haunted ever since. But in that conversation , I feel like I just like was not like normal . What are you talking ? By the way, the situation that you described is the most fucking crazy thing I've ever heard. Well, I didn't have swag in that situation. You were not swaggy enough, unfortunately. No, he was the awkward one. Yeah, that's fucking crazy. What are you talking about? I'm like, maybe I should have said yes and like given my number and it would have been less weird . No , what are you talking about? This is so insane. No , you experienced like the craziest thing and you're like, it was my fault. It was literally I was wrong. I should have done that differently. I was asking for that. Yeah You thought if you gave him the number, he would have there's no way he was now. I don't know, I don't know. I just feel like I could have made better small talk. I don't know exactly what the problem is. There's no small talk and you've been card yet. I feel awkward . That is so funny. What do you think you did that was awkward? You just felt like the whole situation, you didn't like , it's like when you meet a new person, you didn't ask questions. Yeah , you're like, why didn't ask? Yeah, I was like conversation . There was no flow. Well, you did have a gun point. Right at you, which by the way, this would be so terrifying. Like, were you totally scared? Yeah, I was . I think I've watched a lot of criminal minds. And so I was like, okay, I'm prepared for that. Yeah, yeah, sure. The unsub . So like, in the moment, I feel like I handled it really well. There were a lot of people afterwards who were like, You should have like used the gas like pump and sprayed it on and I was like, yeah, and she shoot wildly blindly at the people at the gas station. Literally like hyping hobbies of ice for everyone out there. If somebody has a gun pointed at you, just do what they say, give them whatever they want. Leave the situation alive. I could never there's nothing that I would not give away that was like, you know , just give it away. It doesn't matter. You can be awkward if I got his point. Yeah. So he wasn't trying to take me in the truck. If he's trying to take you, that's different, but it's like otherwise I just, like, if you're getting robbed, do not just fuckin' give it to him. Give it to them. Literally give it to him out of there. It doesn't matter. I got the truck back. I got the car back, I got everything in the car bag. Really? No. Oh, that's awesome. Okay, so how did the trial go? Like did you do you ever end up getting any money from this like complete psycho? Oh, no money, no, but he is in jail. That's good. Well, I guess my solution for you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My solution for you is honestly, when next time you're in that situation, just ask a few personal questions. Right . Yeah . You know, oh by the way, by the way, where are you from? Yeah. You watch anything lately . What's your favorite sandwich ? You know, just ask a couple humanizing questions and what do they say if you're like in a heightened situation? Tell them your name. Yeah, make eye contact. They say make eye contact and tell them your name so that they think of you as a person. Yeah. Should have a symptoms with you, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh my god. I like maybe I was thinking about maybe writing down some of like the perfect person speed round questions and using those to make if this ever happens again. I think asking if somebody has a gun pointed at you and they go give me your wallet go what's your perfect final snack of the night? Is like a great to sort of get them to be like, huh, I guess Cheerios. I don't know, that's a little bit funny and then you move on with them. I would argue being awkward might save you. It might help you. Maybe be more awkward they're just so like off put by what's happening. There's a scene in Grey's anatom y that where a character has a gun and they point it at somebody and they're like the person immediately is like, I have three sisters. I grew up on this street. They give the address. They're like, my father was a construction worker, my mother like they just are like yeah basically like word vomiting details about their life so that the person feels worse about killing them and then the guy is like go just go and it's pretty interesting. Wow. I don't know if that works in action not willing to try espe,cially to a strange like man with a guitar, but who knows? We'll see. Did he ever play the guitar? Yeah, what did he play? I guess was he good? Was he musician? Yeah. Wait . No, I don't know why he had a guitar case to be honest. Maybe he had a guitar . They think maybe he pawned it in order to pay for gas later on. We're not really sure . My favorite part of this story though singing music is that I had just found a Taylor Swift CD in my truck and this truck has it's like a weird era where it doesn't have an Oxcord, but it has a twelve CD CD player for some reason. It does not work very well. So once you put a CD in it, it like you can't make it do anything but play that CD basically I was blasting Taylor Swift music. So when he turned on the truck, it was blasting Taylor Swift music. And I'm just picturing him driving down the highway trying to figure out how to turn off this Taylor Swift album at full bother you. That's so funny. Honestly, it probably lightened his day. You know, that's the moment when he was like, I fucked up. I fucked up. She was a swiftie. Yeah . They're gonna get nervous. Ever cross a swiftie. Well, thank you so much for calling in. This is such a fascinating story . And I hope you have an amazing day. And I hope that nothing like this ever happens to you ever again. This is tragic. So sorry. Completely. I'm so sorry, this is crazy. Honestly, if I ever write a memoir, now I have a starting chapter, you know? It is what it is. Yeah , but I'm also just like now I feel prepared. If this ever happens again to not be awkward, I have some some yeah good questions. You can use the perfect person speedrun questions. Perfect . Yeah, he'll be like, what? All right, well, thank you so much. Have a great day . Thank you too. Bye . Yeah, that's so fucking crazy. No, that's insane . Something about summer means that I want to be comfortable and ready to freakin sprint at a moment's notice I want to be outside and I want to be in clothes that are breathable and fantastically fashionable. I that's honestly why I started looking for a better option. And I ended up joining Fablatics as a VIP, which completely changed how I shop for summer. New VIPs unlock major savings when their first purchase, so stocking up on cute comfortable pieces doesn't feel like such a splurge. Bablatic sent me some incredible units, okay? Babelatic is perfect for me because I want to be wearing like super comfortable clothes while I'm at my desk. 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You can't provide more details like unless you don't want to, I guess. I'll tell the story, then you can decide if you want to keep it or not. Okay , sure. That's good. Okay, no, it was like it was not as scary as like her encounter was she was much closer to the gun. Yeah. I was on vacation in the Virgin Islands when there was like right before that big hurricane . And there was like a pre storm and like the island was flooding. And so we had rented some cars and we had to like move them out of the areas where it was flooding . And so we had two cars. I was driving the first one. My dad was in the back with my sister and we were going up this hill and the car started like slipping down the hill because it was like raining and I guess I'm just not good at driving didn't know how to get up the hill. And so my dad like hops in drives, it to the top of the hill, leaves me there, goes back to get the car . And then this other guy turns the corner and he like wants to get down the hill and he's like pissed that I'm there. Oh my god. He's like yelling at me to move. So my dad gets up to the top of the hill like what's going on? Yeah. He gets into a verbal fight with this man, and the man pulls a gun on him. Oh my god. And then it was a real Sophie's choice moment because my dad had to pick me or my younger sister and he chose the car with her probably because she couldn't drive. And so he got in the car and I had to just drive past this man who was pointing a gun at me and I was just sobbing. Oh my god, yeah, that's so fucking scary though. Yeah. So your dad chose your sister. He chose her. No surprise. You just pulled the gun to be like . He just wanted to go down the road and my dad was trying to be like, there is a line of cars trying to get up this hill because it's flooding down there. Like you can't go down . You can't go down in like it was scared. Two masculine men just beefin'. That's brutal. Yeah It happened. You hate to see it. You really hate to see that. No, I do fucking sympathize with it. That's so fucking But no, she was not awkward. Like she was awkward no balling and crime. Awkward. No, yeah, that's sure. You were more awkward in your gut encounter. Yeah , I should have asked questions as well. Yeah, exactly. What are you doing? Icebreaker questions. What's the greatest thing in your life? We get to take another call . Hi Miles . Today I am against my will have to go buy a bunch of physical porn from a woman I've never met and I don't know how to do that without being awkward . I wish I didn't have to do this. Okay , thank you bye. What could this possibly mean? Also physical, like is it like a magazine? It's like magazines, I guess. What does that possibly mean? Is it like for a photo shoot or something Like this is about to be like a vintage playboy from Facebook marketplace That is interesting but against his will. Right. So what is he getting at? Who's forcing him? Who's forcing his wife? Hi, these for me . Hello . Hello, you all perfect person. I'm here to call you back. I'm here with Erin Doogall. Holy shit. Oh hey, Erin. Hi Erin, what's the big name for this person? Danny Dann.y , okay, Danny, what is going on? What is fucking happening? What are you talking about? What is going on? So okay, this is so crazy. I'm literally about to get in my car right now. Take us with you. Take us with you . We're about to make we're about to make the pickup. What is the about to happen? Yeah, what is happening? Are you okay? Are you being forced to go? Yeah, I 'm great I am being forced against my will, but unfortunately , this is being forced against my will of my past self. you're forcing yourself. You're forcing yourself so then you're not being forced. I am I am forcing myself. So I do sketch comedy and I thought it'd be really, really funny to write a sketch that involved it's like a it's like an eighties genre parody. So it's like spoofing like ET or Goon ories whatever . it Wh'eres like, oh, treasure in the attic. But dad's treasure is just his box of porn. Yeah, sure. It's like a bunch of eighties, whatever. Yeah. Right, right. And so I made the mistake of writing this and now I have to follow through and I did not think that through when I made this plan. You didn't think about how you were going to get the vintage pornography . No, no, I thought this will be funny. I thought this will be a funny bit and then I forgot that I have to go through and I have to find a bunch of vintage porn. And so now some sweet lady on Facebook marketplace is telling me this and I have to go pick it up and I don't know how to not be weird about that. Oh, I can see, so you're arriving and what is the price that you've negotiated ? I'm paying fifty dollars for this, which feels how much how much is it? Fine. Like how many things is it? And what is nine? Nine magazines magazines. Nine magazines. Nine what? Nothing what? Nine magazines. Okay, so you're buying nine dirty magazines that are of vintage quality for a shoot. Yeah. Yeah. And you're showing up solo . Yeah. I'm showing up solo. I'm doing this lonesome. And you want to make it clear that these are not for your own pleasure . Yeah, I want to make it very, very clear that I'm not buying these for my own purposes, but I have a fear that if I say, hey, just you know, these aren't for me, I feel like that's gonna come across weird. I actually do think you're right. And I think that I feel that I ran into situations like this when I worked for Try Guys and I had to get weird props where you're buying weird stuff and you're like, yeah, I promise this is actually like not for me or whatever. And you don't want to come off like a perfer. Right. Even though you did write the sketch. Right, right. So how do I do that where it doesn't seem like I'm just like covering in any kind of way? Okay, you know what? I think this is gonna Okay, so what I would do, Aaron, you know, obviously you're a director of producer. If you had to do you had to pick up something embarrassing. Yeah. How would you make it clear to them that this was not for your own personal gain? So I wouldn't. I would I wouldn't I wouldn't clarify and just like lean into it and be like, thank you so much. Like I've been looking for physical porn for stuff. This is really, really good stuff. This is good stuff. I could lean in what you're doing. I lean in. Look through it with her. Yeah, by the way, also she owned it. So clearly she's a family exactly the part that keeps getting me. I'm like, for some reason, but she makes it very that's the weird thing is she also makes it very, very clear that these weren't hers . Well , whose were they? I have no clue . All she does is she specifies these have been in a box since two thousand eight . It's a random ominous box. She found a box. I found a box in the woods and my box in porn in the woods . I think that I mean one thing I would probably do is you go and you go, oh this will go great for the film for the film that I'm shooting where yeah we're doing this thing about you know,, vintage porn . Actually, it doesn't necessarily . What about you go and you go, oh yeah, this is perfect and you look at a reference sketch that you've sketched of a box of vintage porn and you go this from the shot left. Yeah, show her the storyboard. Yeah, show her the storyboard and you go. Oh, this is going to go perfect. Yeah, it's gonna go right in that box. Yes. Yeah, you show her without a quick storyboard on the drive over. Oh yeah, that's right. You are on your way now. Yeah, which is tough. That is okay. I can work it out. I can get in my notes off and do a little quick, dirty drawing. Not a dirty drawing. You know what I mean? Well it is dirty drawing it a little dirty drawing. It is a dirty drawing. It is a dirty drawing. Derry pornographic drawing. This is gonna go perfect. You show her, yeah, you've done too much. All right. So a question about the shock. Can I ask a follow up? Please , yes . What do I do with these when I'm done? Well, they're yours. Enjoy them. They're yours baby. Yeah, you have fun. But I don't want to own these . There's nothing wrong with owning a little. You have a vintage dirty magazine. If anything, I feel like it's true. It's not necessarily the problem of having them in my person. It's the problem of, it feels weird not knowing where they've been. Yeah, they've probably been old. And they're old. Is this like a old playboy or whatever? I think so. That's what it seems like. Well, because I feel like actually in the modern era, vintage playboys are sort of chic. I don't have so many of them. Well, no, I feel like if you went to a like a cool kind of chic , you know, skincare brand you might have vintage Playboys out. I just feel like it's something now in the Zeitgeist, it's a cool I agree. Yeah, it's like a cool edgy thing to have. It's not considered like oh that nasty rag it's like you know right so maybe I'm maybe I'm trying to upsell or maybe I'm framing them and I'm leaning in. I think you should put them on your coffee table next to like that's where I are. You see that ? Next to like an oil diffuser and like a fucking candle. I feel like that's kind of a chic display. Yeah. I agree. I'm really dollar up. That's right. See, I think this is kind of cool. You're gonna have this kind of cool relic from the past. Although if they're not playboys, then they're like something way, way trashier. Right. Less of a like a worst case scenario. Yeah. If they're just like , you knowoo, B mbag'azsine, it probably . Although Boob's magazine could be a chic, we don't know. I think any Nunie Mag on a coffee table, pretty sick. Kind of cool. Pretty sick. Kind of cool. Unless you have kids? Yes. By the way, ye yeahah, maybe don't, if you've got kids maybe don't put this on the coffee table, but no, no, no, no kids, just cats. But if they scratch it up then maybe it's a problem solved. And Aaron used, you had a question. Oh yeah. Okay, so I have to know like this shot that the Plbayoys are in or whatever the magazine , like, is it crucial like are you opening it? Like does it have to be a real magazine Unfortunately, it's crucial. It is like, so it's actually it's li ve and we want to get as much physical new magazine on stage as possible, but we were like at least a couple of 'em have to be real. Oh, the sketch is live. You're doing a live in front of like an audi ence. Okay, so I see you want to be like, oh and these are so you're pulling out porn on stage . This is interesting. Yeah, we are. Where we are. Where is it going to be when? Yeah and how close is the audience to because like if I go to a show is it an all aged show? These are questions you actually do have to ask. No, no, no, this is no, it's not an all ages show. We're very much a late night crowd kind of scene. This is sick. Okay . So you're like doing a live sketch and then it's like