Final Thoughts and Show Wrap Up

What happens when three buffoons give life advice, explore unrealistic situations, and give random topics more thought than they probably deserve? It's the Spit Ballers podcast with Andy Mike and Jason Alphabated Delta Game and when I scott I dropped the Hm Bom. Oh no. Oh Oh, he pulled it off. Practice much. He was as ready as anybody's ever been. I mean, I do Oh the it was the right It was the right cadence and pace. I mean, didn't have enough enough enthusiasm. Here's the thing, Josh You're a video gamer We have a word For people that over prepare and treat public lobbyies You know what you know what is this word What is the word?osh. I mean I'm a sweat maybe. No, no, that's not it We call it a try hard. He doesn't like that They tried Thou does try too hard. little littles too hard And it does not say you didn't do a good job. You did a very goodob. Did you read that Now he's memorized that for I mean you practice that a hundred times. Oh, I need one of those drinks. Anyone of them bu buubbler? The bubl. We can get you one of those. get me one of those. Well whoa we're not a sponsor any Ble that out. The mysterious cffeinated beverage. Please blur out this cam Listen. I'm just happy we're here It's been a while since we've had a brand new show. because we don't want to have a brand new show, but we've We've been going through very you can just hand me the can, man. We've been going through various crises. My brother. My life is It just twenty four seven crises these. I have my son, My son had medical issues. He is well and happy and good and fine and it took three weeks U a couple surgeries. uddy's Mike. hisis furry friend, his furry son Rufus through his own, you know, he's still he's Still costing me money. eating clothing, right? Yeah. Have they thought about like mayaybe miniature clothing in cans for dogs to eat that does pass easily. Oo, like any panties? They have like can eat. Yeah Look all those dog treats You get them as the back of Spencer's a can go can. No know, they're in a can for sure. I heard a lot of Albora back there gotught me off guard, that's off So We're just happy to be here with a brand new show. Jason, what a scat by you. Thank you. Thankk you. I can't wait I can't believe you got out of it again here. You didn't even have to pay anybody. I don't really understand. I will get out of it again before the next one, I hope We'll see Heiti Group. We got to stay strong. We got to have a minimum here First time's free for Jason, then he's got to pay. Okay. I can get Josh Dude again pretty cheap Josh Josh Josh have I got three more ready to go. We're.' I we're going. We're gonna to have a threshold of payment were l too, Bobaooaub. We're all gonna stay strong If you get it, Josh, that's fine, but we're going to stay strong at a threshold. Yeah as a team. five hundred dollars dollars You don't have to listen I'll do if you have, Jay. Yeah, you'll do it. You'll do it for less than half. Don't worry. If you up so y You'll do it for pick You'll do it for a fifth Oh, you're trading pixie. The union a fifth of that. Josh the union we would beat the crap out of you Sab Sab U ridiculous. This is a brand new show. you can tell because it's so funny. You rather Would you rather all the hallways in your home and office be replaced? by monkey bars that you must use or crawl or Okay that you must use. Okay no to hold on. what? All the hallways in your home or office and office They are now monkey bars. So you want to go down the hallway. you got to which by the way, I don't know if you guys have done monke They're very hard when you're time soon. They're very hard as a growna. but onene of the most humbling events of anyone who has become an adult. As you look at the monkey bars and you're like H I remember I remember dominating me so easy. Like I'm onm gonna go swing. And you crash down on weight beneath the arm like it's the hands that are the problem. Like it's a lot of things that are. There's a lot of bal. There's the grip strength. There's the upper back strengtha. I know you guys you guys work it. I just I worked out once this week and I'm like, I gott to do it. I gott to get the workout gloves because just the part I use those all the time. I use them. I mean I have calluses and I still have to use them Depending on the but they're fingerless. Oh, for sure. look cool because you gota look like a legend. That's right I can't I can't live without him. I like I've been live with them. I've been without them. I've been getting after it, I would say for about twoo and a half three is months. You put a pair of monkey bars in front of me. You're dead man. No, there's there's no way. The other option is a crawl space that you have to army crawl through. So arrmy crawl, not like hands and knees, but I army crawls down your elbows L like a snake. You can at least do it. Army crawl is elbows. likeike getting you can get through it though. What happens if you fall off the monkey bars, whereere do you land? start over? I think you start over Mud ide? Yeah In the house. Yeah The problem problem the crawl space though was very confined. I don't like that. The problem with the monkey bars. I'm going to tell you right now, even if you get a little bit used to them If you don't catch the forward momentum on the monkey No and you got to come back the other way. Oh no and wait for the forward roll swing No, no, you don't. Jason. I think ourself. I think donkey bars are very easy. Jason if I'll give you If you could make it through a significant Like I'm not talking like some kittdy monkey bars, it's like one swing for you. If you can do like five or six swings on a monkey bar clean without falling or looking the fool I'll be impressed, no problem. I was gonna to offer a scab, but I don't want to do that. It turns out monkeys Ver strong. They are incredibly pound for pound per str. Yeah, you give me some bars. I will say good. I will say give me monke. G me human bars. Human bars, I'm no problem. Your feet are on the ground for those If It has been bars are impossible, dude. It has been at least twenty years since I've done monke. Oh go There you go, but I l No know land little havey. You still have the fire. It know I can do it. I know.' more likely to land the plane. Ey and peace. You could totally I'm taking the monkey bars up Yeah. like film cl. Let's film your dominance. I mean, I'm gonna go faster than walking when I know you are No problem You would monkey bars you crush them. Yeah, you got that.. I can't imagine monkey bars are that hard. Yeah. You just hang Yeah. hang and read. Yeah. It's so easy. Yeah, you weigh the same as you. feel like we twenty years ago We need monkey bars around here and test this out. They don't make them for grers. I'll tell you that. Um, it's I know I'm going to get where I need to go on on the crawlspace. A there any bugs in there? It doesn't matter You could play bugs. No bugs. I'll do the monkey bars. As as long as do monkey bars. becausecause I'm just I'm going I'm going to really I got the arms to skip a lot of bars. You ever youve done the monkey bars as a kid and somebody's got the long arm. I skip them. I can skip the saying that's so hard. now you're skipping bars. But if I say you if if you fallason If you fall, you have to start over You will never make it through that hallway. How long is the hallway? How many How many skips do I need? fourour I'm going full swings. I'm going to say, yeah, you need at least four full swings. I I've been known to be able to hang from a bar for a long time. I do not believe Mike is this is correct that It's that difficult. I'm so curious now. I'm genuinely curious because usually on these things, Mike is right Myike gu is correct on these things, but I just I'm I'm thinking through it, the experience the what you to do the the added weight. Yeah. D it's gonna be J. Yeah how many pull ups? Zero. Okay. Yeah. No monkey bars are super easy. I don't need to do a pull up tight. Yeah No totally. It's not the same muscle group at all Well, I can do pull upps I'll be fine Can you? Yeah, of course. withith one hand. while adding one handed pull up. Do you understand how physics work? You're not get to h yourself up. That's what I'm saying, you hang. I don't think Mike knows what monkey bars are Pullet bars. I don't gott to do a muscle up. One of us is super wrong. One of us is Yeah where're not know it' not me. Again, it's it's I knowative to the I have to crawl through a crawl space. I don't want to do that every day down the hallway. Yeah I feel like I will get better. You can't get better at a crawl space. You can get better at Monkey partars You can get better at crawl space. You can improve your speed. So you're saying I start from the mean covered in m But here's the thing is withith a crawl space, I will actually be able to access the other part of my home. Should it be monkey bars everyverywhere Maybe maybe once or twice a day. I can get You imagine a hotel that hallway. You get into your room, brother Why don't we have longer? I feel like houses are being built without significant hallways. I feel like they used to have long homes. That's because people want things more open now. they don't Do they really want that though? Yes.. I think it's pretend. No, I want to. We do. I do. Yeah we do. If Someone sold a bill of goods that we all want to be in the same space together. We don't. We want to be separate. If I'm reading, I don't need to be in the big bedar. Bedrooms are different than your open concept. My living room can't I be separate from the people in the kitchen or playing the TV. You can. Yeah if you want to I live in a closed in I think I read about this. I think somebody started this trend of open floor plan and nobody actually likes it, but they all think they're supposed to Cinu I was I think I was reading something. Go ahead. G Hey, you know what you know what is I think inexpensable. I want secret rooms, all of them Well, now that's a different That' that''s totally different. Like I want to pull the button on the butt like your your home. You have you have a modern open conign I home Putting up walls that would be super cheap Go ahead. I can't convince my wife. Because it's a bad idea.. Nobody actually wants that. All right. You just need bedrooms. Final verdict, crawl spacewlkears Crawl space becausecause I need to be a assume. I think you're going monkey bars De definitely going monkeyars are going gonna be so easy. I can get anywhere I want. I'm gonna to get there fast. I will wear the gloves. I will wear gloves around my house and office. but I'll be gloves totally fine. The gloves, that's the problem Would you rather have Every argument en force a ten minute time out After five minutes of arguing or the ability to take back anything you said in the last thirty seconds up to three times per day is a little too personal have every argument enforce a ten minute timeout After five minutes of arguing. Okay, so you argue for five minutes and then you have to have a forced time out That is so good. Okay, well, that's so good for every human on this planet. But what constitutes Thanks for the energy drink, Matt. Did you just hand me that? Here you go, Jason. Thank you. Well, that's a different one. Now we got to blur out two energy drinks. We need energy drinks to start sponsoring the show. Energy drinks.. J the company? What constitutes the difference between a a discussion with difference of opinion in an argument you should know that. I mean I but I'm asking a question. The difference is oftentimes I'm the one who knows that monkey bars are hard. so does the vocal levelise rise? Oftentimes it includes raised Is there any sarcasm included? So are you saying that if If I just speak to you with a calm voice, we can't possibly argue. We can definitely argue. So then it becomes Y intent. is your intent to find out That's a discussion Okay, is your intent to win to win. That's an argument I find that I was really impressed earlier because we were talking about some new segments for spit ballers Mike shared his opinion Al Bor listened to the opinion and you guys had a discussion. It was not an argument. You had a discussion. like we're homeboys. What if me and Jeremy had the same discussion? It would have been an argument And I don't I think that's a me problem. But it would have been. Number one. I would have tried to convey I don't think that you did. I don't like argument. But the way I would have conveyed it would have seemed adversarial. That's the word for argument. addversary. Yeah, you ever seen the movie Inception? You you work on that. That's smart. I mean, Mike has always been able to handle conflict. Slightly better. But also maybe you don't get as much as you want. Yeah, conflict is the worst. Really? Oh and I hate it. Jason doesn't like it either. I hate it. I hate it. This is why we all have our rollles. I hate it The problem because as a member of the anxiety crew As soon as conf club anxiety. But yeah no, I mean there's many in the Iagine if that was an actual club. place would be in trouble If no one would want membership. Turn the music down. But it's like when you have that, it turns out when conflictise arises, your body doesn't realize, hey, I'm just having a discussion with possibly a friend And your body's like fight or flight. Yes Fighter flight And then then adrenaline just dumps throughout your whole body and you're like, I don't know what to do. because I'm just trying to be like, you know what? I think that Mike andkes are good The ten minute timeout is the best thing could ever be handed to any family ever with any argument If you argue for five minutes, that's enough Nobody ws at that point in time. Yeah ten minute timeout. normally people come back with clear heads. If you you talked about fight or flight, you fliip the amygdala on instead of the pref frontal cortex. You are now in a place where you don't learn. You don't learn when you're on the fight or flight No area. You do not. So arguments from five minutes on. add nothing. They add nothing. You think they add a lot. You're like, I got to get my peieace out there. But nobody's listening at. However, I think that there's a lot of therapy that could be done here with the other options.. E that you said in the last thirty seconds could be taken back three times a day. I would use this offensively. Oh, you would say that. Oh my gosh. 'causeuse you'd get it out of your sidew onn pull out the timer, your phone hand is go Yeah. just dirty r the things that would come out, but the problem is you could get in big, big tubs here. Is this like this is like four time of the day and you missed countiscount. You didn't realize the twenty four hour timer and you just you just set it all. It all comes out Undo Oh, I didn't mean it. I thought I could just take it all back from your brain. I assume it works like the minin and Black S scanner right You say it, you get their reaction and you undo it. cororrect That seems like a lot of fun, but I think An one The better one is the first. It would train you never to argue for five minutes is what it would do. You wouldn't want the time out. You'd know that that's on the way. If we all operated as though we would be slapped in the face if we argue for more than five minutes That'd be better for us. It would be better for us. I don't know that it's that. Im in a thing though. I don't I'm trying to think in the last like six months, how many five I'm in overt arguments I've had. Our arguments sometimes don't end with the kids You make your point for five minutes. I make mine for five minutes and it goes on one of fall to sleep. It's five minutes of arguing So if you get two people who like to argue because those people There's people that like they thrive on the conflict. they want it. They seek it out If you're telling me, you get two people And you know there's five minutes maximum It will be two people screaming of lungs over each other for the five minute timer Like if you know that you only have five minutes in between the two of you, you're not going to. Giving you're not going to give an inch You will just Spe louder thirty second rewind. Oh yeah, I. Oh my gosh. G M. Now they come out loud. Now they go out of the place Doidt work even when you like get pulled over by a cop? Sure it does. if it's water my three? Of course. No, it works when I'm like double down Yeaho that And then they're like and then I go, Ohh well, I need that bed I'll take the ten minute time out. I'll take thirty seconds. Would you rather any food you drop Instantly become perfectly clean again. Or any leftovers you save taste even better the next day. Oh, they taste better How many foods are we dropping here people Yeah I don't know that that's not dropping f. I don't remember the last time I dropped something, I was genuinely upset. Oh no Yeah what is what is your Okaykay. so I say I dropped something Blank second rule. What is the time five? It's a five second? Is it five? Yeah. It's depending on how good the thing is Is text j. I got producers. Iice cream. How what is it? It's five. It's a five second rule. You You're telling me a six second drop of some micon kes. you're gonna let them slay. just I don't count, but I'm just saying in your head, you go five second rule. That's what it' If I find a micon ike from yesterday, I'm eating it. Well because did you spot it five seconds ago Yes. it only rendered five seconds ago Correct. Cross tree in the forest thing. No, that's one hundred percent right. He's right. But also it depes on it depends on what you're dropping, right? Like there's no five second rule with mashed potatoes. You know, know you I'm not wiping it up off the ground. I mean like it's only been three seconds. You know wh it is. Yeah, rightight. But but that means that the bottom layer is absorbing it all. So you could technically you could get down there with a spoon and you could scoop down to a thin layer. I would do that But listen, I'm not dropping I I'm with J. I would do. I'm not dropping food to the so often that I'm going Oh my gosh. I really wanted to eat this and I can't now. Like I can't remember the last time I dropped food and went like, all shucks. I think everything that I have dropped to the ground is a piece of many things. If it's like Not a whole wedd Corn and that you have coming Corn fall to the ground. or you know, it's like I'm not dropping my meal. I don't remember the last time I just oopsed my entree out to the floor. I would love it if it happened tonight though. But yeah, I gott to take the leftovers tasting better. There are some I wish N one food, you think the leftovers taste hundred hundred percent draft that you can go back and listen doing this spitballars we have this? It's pasta. Of course. I think pasta tastes amazing. Yeah.paghetti is The most elite What's yours Jay? Pico de Gallo and Chilei. thoseose two they got to marinate. Yeah, those two foods are genuineallo. Yeah Like if you're we home make pico to guy all the time. So whenever it's like Taco night, we'll a pico. And it is always better than. it's a Pico night they make tacos. That's really what it feels like, because tacos are easy to make a pico takes forever That's interesting. because I wouldn't even Think of I wouldn't think of salsa as a food. I get it. No I know it the food. I eat it, I consume it, but it's like I'm not like, oh, I'm gonna go grab a bowl of pico. I think they make a pretty good pico We do make a pretty mean pico. All right, Is there tomatoes in that? Of course, and you'd be fine. I'm out. You'd be my wife liked that. h I don't I don't. I mean my wife hates tomatoes. She loves O all Tomato based foods where it's like it's tomatoes You can't get over it like catch up But it's like I can eat I can actually eat sla. Yeah. Sola is great It's not tomatoes. It's tomatoes, but it'ser. Yeah, It's definitely tomatoes All right, we'll take a break. We'll come back with decisions of extreme importance decisions of extreme importance. I'm going to state something And then we will All agree or disagree at do we write it down I don't think capital under bnded. I think we could go one to agree agree I disagree The correct way to eat an Oreo is whole, not twisted apart So this is this one, two, three, say my answer? we'll say yes or no. The correct way to eat an Oreo is whole. twisted apart. Count it off and I'll give me my three, two One Okay. So I heard a yes and agree and a no. That is That is what you heard. I heard we'd say yes or no. No, no, we literally verbatim. Verbatim we said we would say agree or disagree. What no, we didn't. What did we say? I think you each said something different. Okay. All right. Well listen I say no because I'm taking umbridge with correct way You're a twister? I'm not often a twistter but I'm willing only There's only one best cor. I don't twist very often, but I think it's an okay way to do. It's it's got to be dononked in I'm changing. It's got to be dononked in part aly changing. I agree with. It doesn't have like but okay, what? I don't have milk I'm not eating Oreos. I'm not eating Oreos if I don't have milk. No joke. G get O guys, go get Oreos right now. Sure. then go get Oreos right now. Mike and I'll have some Jason, you will if I put it, if I put A train of Oreos down in front of you with no milk, you would eat them. No, I wouldn't. Yes, you, Jason. I would not. You would dip it in water. Did you dip it in water? No. You are a liar You won't eat Oreos without milk. I double stop. don't eat Oreos without milk unless we're like doing a thing. And my dady wouldn't eat are without milk. I don't eat without milk unless I don't have milk and then I'll eat the Oreos. Papa Josh say I have watched Jason's Yes. Jason how's Oreos withick mini As milk. As have I. We don't have milk here, I'm telling you at home Look, you don't have to look Yes, Oreos and milk is great. We don't have to do this Chirade The twisting That That's nonsense. You don't like the twisting 'cause you have the chocolate only piece. That's bull crap There's bull crap for commercial. The twisting where they totally go off the Bld crap. you'd rather eat It tastes really good with just just the frosting and one half. No. if you twist, what are you gonna throw the other half away? Yeah? No you eat it and it's a pen it's like eating the non marshmallows in lucky charms. See here gotta eat that part first. If I don't have milk, I will twist because I'm gonna twist And I'm gonna eat the cream and I'm gonna take both of those and I'm gonna take both of those little What You eat rappy chocolate wafers. I'm gonna throw them away. So you would eat Orreos's all cream I' done that many times. many tim You just eat You just scrape the cream out and you move on and then you throw the chocolate it's like it's like you you guys. No eating that's licking the top of a freaking cupcake. not eating any of the p. try equivent. It's the equivalent of eating pistachios You grab one, you crack the shell open, you eat the gift and z. Inedible shell of a pistachio. It's very similar to a creamless Oreo piece. It's not's a cream That why you going open's a chocolate cookie throw the chocolate cookie. happen If a pistachio shell was a chocolate cookie I'd eat the whole thing You can eatist I agree. If a pistachio or Oreo, I'd eat way more pistachios. and I would eat them whole Darn right. You can I prefer to eat them I prefer to eat them whole dunk and milk. That is of course waste. one is a chocolate cookie. They flowing away. Yes. If you if you let me put it this. I don't believe you know what they are saying. I't either. You know what they could not sell. They could not sell. Oh I'm gonna get you Oreos with Allour cream Just if they put in just the little they do sell those sell those Those are called chocolate cookies. No they' sell like the Oreo Thins. No, the Oreo Thins are great. There's cream in there. Just a little want the cream off an Oreo Thin becausecause if you do, I'm getting you committed. No I'm getting you committed ridiculous. But I'm saying the the chocolate wafer by itself is not It is so dry. It's not good. The flavor' not even good. But when we put it with cream, it's great. G shake their head. No. I'm sure Jere they all agree with that. Jeremy's clearly with just say I was getting April Fools by Oreo where they posted that they were releasing just the wafer. Right. And that was an April fool's joke because of course that would be nonsense. No one likes that part. The correct way is h the correct is ho. The correct iso. you voted with milk. You just said you lick off the cream and throw the other parts away. I've done it many times. I'm saying if you're gonna twist, it's only to get the cream. That's madness All right, we don't ag throwing you're buying an expensive Oreo cookie And throwing a third of it away. You buy cake icing from the can and just eat it out of the can? I have been known to do that. This is So nothing's too rich for you, huh No, there is there's definitely things that get too rich. Oreo C cream is't Oreo C cream is. Perfect. it's balanced Dellicious. They should I bet they do sell just Oreo cream Oreo thin crisps. That's what I was thinking. I'm not the Oreo thins becausecause I agree. That's all the crisps have no cream. Yeah. It's just it's just the cookie. man they can do it they. It's not Ore is the frees Lego company of the cookie department It's not f control of the market. The thing is is if it was just the full thick They couldn't sell it because it's not good They do sell it. They don't sell it. We just established thatell me they tellell me what I disposed in our slack here. What is that? What is that Jay? What is that What's that? hold? I haven't. What is that? What's that? What are you looking at? Th' are little tiny, ity bitty bite sizeed piece that's not the home How much cream for you? How much cream guys aren't paying attention to what I'm saying. I'm saying that the Oreo cookie if you took the cream out and you have the giant wheel, the disc at the size that it wheel they suck. itself. showh me where they sell those by themselves. They can't You think they haven't tried. They're already making them. Okay. They they I'm sure they put them out and they're like are proving the point of Eat it as a whole. Why would you take it apart I'm with you. You sh We are't over here on I don't even with out to milk. There are two different questions happen. There's lies in this room. There are two different questions happening. No, there was one question. And that question, we were all in agreement. wholeo is the proper way eat Ore. If this show is an Oreo and we could twist it throw you away That'd be great Look, I'm the cream right now. you are not it. Y, I am. I'm not in the middle. No. And then you're the chocolate Oreo cookie you wish. after you wish. You're the higher calorie count. You're darn right I am. You're darn right I amrelessed to be thrown away. I was out of here, you couldn't sell you guys, but if you take you guys out they lick me up Dellicious. I'm the cream in the middle. I think I'm gonna have to enforce the ten minute time out. We're moving on Decisions of extreme importance. at home, socks are better than barefoot. Oh gosh. Oh this I need more than a moment of thinking. Yeah, let's give us a second. A home because this is philosophical. At home, socks home are better than Beare for. That is tough right because I got to average this out for the year long. Yeah, and I'm I'm not a great I'm not a great vote here. 'cause I've had to wear shoes in my house for a long time. Oh man It comes down to what I want to be doing. Bareot. I' got my vote. Okay got I've got my vote. I'm not ready. I can't comeit this just yet. So barefoot Or socks or socks. Okay, but so the way the question is being asked at home. Sockcks are better afot better Now are we doing yes or no or agree disagree Yes or no. Okay At home, socks are better than barefoot. are we doing agree or yes or no? I wasn't doing yes or not. Okay. A home, socks are better than barefoot. O, two, three. No I man. We have sanity Thankk goodness. Set them piggies free. He knows what to do free You're doing right. I can respect the occasional socks you venture through the ha. Josh was Josh was threatening us, but we ended up up in piggy sw. Josh, thumbs up. Anybody back there in the sock crew? No look. Okay. What do you got a fungus? No. I like socks. Just if I'm going to sleep, I'd take the socks off, but walking around the house high socks really high sock knee highck because you're soort you just need the to lift the fif et a little higher up there C on. So we're all setin piggies free Yeah. Are you not for me? Is anyone a slipper man? I could you dabble. I I dabble. I I dabble be a slipper. Yeah. It's nice to have. They're a little too warming. In Arizona, everything's too warm. That's the issue with socks. The is wear socksip on sandals in the house Like house shoes? Yeah the kind that or are like the slip the slip your your toes come out the end of it? What do you call those? Slip sl, slippers? Slides slides. Yeah. You're wearing slides? I wear slides in that. What do you we a bathhouse? The spark You wear slides quite often. Yeah. You wear slid And then when you get to the back door do you take them off Can wear much outside Oh, well then then they're not indoor too They're just slides. Yeah, theyre just they're just slides. The back these things in the the strap goes in between your toes I used I used to wear flip flops all the time don't him Okay, that's a great story. Thank you. Thank you for sharing The Rads are gonna go through the roof now Oh We all agree. We got We all aged. The best way to enjoy a fountain drink is without a lid and straw. This one is so easy. The best way easy To enjoy a fountain drink is without a lid and straw Three, two, one. No. Yes. Me and Jason. Yes. Sure. So why? Stupid. you got to get the you got the ice in the way. He wants put the lip down and have the ice smack his face No I don't I don't need a piece of plastic getting in between me and my soda pop I can drink mine faster than you can with a straw. For sure you can. Of course you can. And you get that concentrated cold unless you don't have any ice in your drink actually Can't. What? Yeah, you could drink it so much faster with a straw. if you've got ice. If you have ice in the drink You can drink way faster with a straw than without a straw. No. And I'm starting to think about this is like I got man teeth. I don' got little bab boy teeth. If you're a restaurant, is that what this is? No, this is it's anywhere. So you go to a circle K, you get a forty four ouner. you're not using a straw. If I buy if I do that, yes, I'm going to use a straw. More often than not at a but better Better is just from the is the soda pop from the glass. How do you treat your shakes Um you like like a milk bowl I mean yes a milkshake. That is the kind of shake I'm talking aboutoon I mean, that's weir I love that's what. If you don't have spoon would you use a straw or would you take the top off and slurp Yeah, wouldould you put it to mouth on the side of milkshake milk milkshake. A milkshake guy you gotta use a straw. Okay. Be because if you don't use a straw, the entire thing is just gonna come down like a cylinder that right in your face. That's the issue with itt like milkshake ice. I not the soda is not cyinder. It's a liquid. I a solid. Iice is a solid. I don't know if you know this, but it's completely a solid. It's frozen water into a solid form Falls with gravity For the record. we pulled the room and you and Andy stand alone on this. Oh, weird.'s forward to two. Enjoy your microplastic. Ohnoy. Now you're with those guys though. Yeah, I feel so much better about our stance now. I mean, that's just prowe we were right.ery like it's it's not's good with the straw. That's why they serve them that way. It's not you have to go non traditional. It's there are moments where you need the convenience of a straw Mike loves papers stra. Is this a title thing? No A paper, straw boy? I am a On the side of that straws are destructive and they don't degrade and everything. But paper straws do suck I don't know what the answer is except I do. It's called no straw. Be a grown up And just just drink it out of the glass. If I get served I will say this, if I get served a found drink at a restaurant and then they go, do you want to stry? I always say no I'm fine drinking it out of a cup. What kind of okay, what kind of cup? What is the best material for a cup Probably that red plastic from the old pizza hut. Okaykay I can I can get down on a red plastic cup, but I would prefer a glass. Yes, off course. becausecause it's pure. Yeah, because it has not touched the plastic. I'm not better. I eat so many things out plastic. I'm pretty sure if you go to the grocery store And every single thing that you bring home is wrapped in plastic. This this I'm not doing a I won't eat things with plasta. I'm saying Glass is better for for sure. for every They don't exactly They don't serve those very often Wh you don't always get asses No, that has nothing to do with whether I want ice in my face. I'm just saying optimal. You just don't self control. I would you can't control the flow. I would put a plastic straw in my glass glass My glass cup is that easier to understand. I mean, everyone was really struggling with that. I mean It just sounded funny. Yeah can it. just sit with it. U no, man get rid of straws. G up The skin should be eaten on a you get the bendy straw too Now we're talking Yeah Yeah already time. Now we're on to the big thick straws for the shakes, by the way Jack in the box. kin should be eaten on a baked potato Oh, okay, the skin should be eaten on a baked potato Nice question, easy answer. I would have gone through different answers in my life three, two, one. No. Yes. Oh no. Now I know that Mike has not had a good baked potato because let me tell you something. You come over my house and you have a baked potato Oh skin, you're g You're going, you're going skin first brother. You're like holy crap. What are you possibly doing It is seasoning crispy seasoning seasoned It is so superior to the perfect fluffy awesomeness of the inside of a bak potato. But when you have a good ason Chris That is the key That's the key It to be it's got to be a feature, not a bug. And you don't I mean an average or below average baked potato I'm avoiding the skin here.. It's worse If done potato skin. I say I'm not a I'm not saying'm I'm above it because you know, when you go and you get the potatoin s that's how you gota cook right. It' aato. That's fine. but that comes down to the ratio of how much of the actual potato flesh is made available to me in a baked potato, I've got it all. So I don't need to fill up on the disgusting ner What it really comes down to is what is the crispy love what is the crispiness of the skin? If the skin is know you love banana peel You know, you do. If the skin is rubbery like a bana peel, you it's awful and you should not eat that the skin is done right, it should be crispy and awesome. Falcon has takaking issue with the fact that you will not eat the cookie part of an Oreo, but willll eat the leathery part of the potato. Thank you, Matt. No, thank you. If If you think my baked potatoes have a leathery part, Bro that is insulting to my core because I am a chef And my bak potatoes come out Perfect crispy would you would eat not You're saying you could cook a better Oreo I can I could make something better than just the wafer by itself. That's just is so unnecessary. If you get the whole baked potato, the outside's unnecessary. I'm always going to eat the outside. I used I used to be never ever eat the skin when I was growing up. But then I started having sp. But then you were like thinking about all the people in the Great Depression, right You're like, I gota I got to maximize this. Eat the pl. Okay, let me let me So do you when you eat it is it at it's at the end, right That's usually no, it's all along the way. You're going you're going for you can have like the good part masking the terrible disgusting peel. So I can have the last appeals the p part the best p The B part is the peel. The best p. The best part is the peel. I think it is the best part unless you're like putting a lot of stuff on the potatoes. Here's I understand where Mike's coming from. I really do because I know you haven't had it. You just a whole new world open. I haven't had it.. If you haven't had it, then you this is a wild accusation that the peel could be better. Bad potato peel is awful It's just inedible. It's leathery. It's all those things or like soft and like gross. Yeah anyone by the way, shout out to the brown potatoes The red potatoes and go die. red potatoes I actually eat the whole thing. goosh. That's because the skin is like nothing. Wells because basically an e potatoes because of the ratio It I mean, that thin there's no thinner peels than a red potato peel. There's plenty one coffer just potato skins, yes. places they call them potato skins. No no, no, no, those Th things have plenty of potato on there They do Sure, they do. but some of them are pretty thin on the potato. I will say this, in order to cook in order to cook it right, you can't really cook it that way and get it crispy without the potato. So you'd have to somehow peel it and throw away delicious baked potatoes. so nobody would do that. I'm just telling you guys, if you you they tell me nothing, I'm on your team. No don' no, I'm telling the whole world, including the four men in this room that maybe aren on the team because we didn't pull them I think they're on our team. I don't. I think I'm sure Jeremy's had one of our Have you had one of my bak potatoes? He said it was the best one he's ever had. Yeah, I did. Yeah. So I mean, you know what I'm saying. If you've had one, you'll never not want to eat the skin. You just wouldn't. It's the best part. But if you haven't, so this I'm sorry, come to my house. comeome to my house. I have to do this one. We gotught to do a more. The excuse of Well, I do it the best. That's that doesnn't work. That is the best excuse for everybody because it's setting yourself up for the largest disaster and ego crushing of your life. When I show up and I'm's true because I try to convince Mike to like lemon dessert. Yeah. My wife made the best Lemon cookies Yeah. Yeah. and then he just pooped on Yeah because slemmon desserts aren't And so it's like if I Mike is also not one to change the opinion on food. Dad no that I will say this. That is false. I eat mustard now. I will say than you. It's scary. It's a scary proposition because I made b I've made baked potatoes, I don't know, twenty times And I would say, you've only done twenty times and you're the master. ' saying I'm the best I saying that I You literally just said you were the best. I' say I was the best I say I make awesome baked potatoes. Awesome. They're great. Did he say he was the best. Did I hear? I think he did. Well, then I stand by. Then I stand by. I' there. But what I'm saying here is Of the last twenty baked potatoes that I have made twenty batches, not like twenty total baked potatoes. All right. The last twenty batches of baked potatoes I've made. I will say that five of them I've been very disappointed And it's always based on the skin. Is because of your mistake or the pato wa wa, wa, hold. I try to do the same one every time, but give mere you're the math man out of how many of the the last N potatoes five out of twenty one out of five, twenty percent of the time. That is a bad ratio. a bad mat. that's one out of four Then you say one out of five Five out of twentyies one I you were the man? m you were five percent. Nerds. twenty five percent C can't even do that. It's a tough rio. It's tough to get right. you know there's some happenstance. Why would you mess around with that ratio? like twenty percent of the time it's bad. to be clear. twenty five I When you get it Do that mean if you make a batch of Baked potatoes And you make five One of the five is good or all five be good or all five will be disappointing. It's interesteresting. That seems like it's a potato based problem could be All right we're taking a break and then we're going to jump to. It's always good You guys actually like red potatoes though There's a place there's a place for all potatoes very time I e rabppeta, I'm like Iish this was a brown p Potatoes, I've never heard called potato round potato in my life. M like a russet. Russet? Isn't that it? Yeah. I know It's a russet potato. Th are brown potatoes, man. Oh It's a red potato called a red potato. Okay, fair A actually's a fair. I've never heard it call that before. Oh what I got a red potato. Oh, those are red. Imagine labeling a potato by its color. You're not gonna go No but My point is if you go to a grocery store, you cannot find a label that says brown potatoes.. You will find a label that says red potatoes because that's what they're called. There's red potatoes pates Okay, that might be true. Let's draft Bller's draft. He knows metal and he knows potatoes folks. Don't you don't you give me on potatoes and metal? He knows all the potatoes All right, we are drafting TV. What medals are in Tatoes mals. wayay more than there should be A lot of minerals. They're a root vegetable U we are drafting TV or movie titles that Good describe putting your kids a bed which I presume we're talking about Young children. notot It's like that's my teenagers. That's what kids are. My kids now I don't like have to put things like that. Got man You know, they're still my kids, right Like, Oh my God, why are you awayake go to bed That mean they you're always your kids then, right? Even if they're forty? Yes Yeah But putting a for year old to bed would be Jason, you get the first pick because, you know, you did that sick Amazing Yeah It's a great, great scab by me a very it was try hard, but ood. You listed a lot of I think Greek letters Yes, that's right, Alpha, beta, beta, whatever. Look, I'm gonna start with the sigma pie. The importance, That sounds delicious. You know I'd eat a sigma pi Um I'm gonna start with the environment Um not not that's not the name of the movie. The movie is not I've never heard of the movie the environment. I'm saying I'm going to start with the environment of the situation that I need kids to bed to succeed putting my kids to bed. They all had small children that had various bedtime routine problems. And the one thing that was in common with all of them is you need M So I will draft a quiet place. Okay, o Yeah know that Mike's like Mike's like, it's never been a quiet place. No, no, I've never experienced that. Well, but also it's a horror movie. So it it kind of works both ways. It does. It's like because it's really similar. Yes because if they hear you, they will eat you. I can't decide hereere's the funny thing. I'll brief aside When I had young kids Putting them to batle was difficult When they went to bed, we always put our kids to bed early. We got free time. That was wonderful. Now, my kids are not a concerned about bedtime. Bedtime is just a thing that happens. But they stay up late. So we don't get the free time. never have them Not not sure which one I want. Yeah. All right, it did say TV or movie So I will go I'll go with a TV show name. To describe putting my kids to bed, it's simple, it's easy and it's spanned many years familyamily feud. We'll call it family feud That's a good one. F good one It is not you good one. You do it every night they can't remember they do it every night Right. So family feud. It's a new battle And then you and the wife or you and the husband, you're debating Like whose job it is today to do this part of the job and Yeah, it's a family. It's a good one H I don't recommend this. But it often comes down to this my first pick I'm going to go with Scream Oh, Okaykay. Okaykay. Is this them or you? It's a little bit of both. Okay. It's a little bit of both my man because you were just You eventually hit it like I said, G to bet You just have to your final Is it the final step No, that's actually the fifth of twenty steps. So I'm going to go with that one I feel like you have the worst time like we all had bed. bedt timee was but I remember it very, I mean, we've been friends for twenty years. Yeah I remember my times two of my three wanted anything except going to bed and So then I will feel like Sometimes you think you're successful And you're like, okay And then you sneak out And you go to your room And then you get catch me if you can. Dang it dang it that was my next pig because the little monsters. Once you get past like three, we have we both have three you're outnumbered. You're outnumbered. And they're just they're right if you have stairs in your house. That also does who knows where they're going to be If you're trying to leave a family event or a birthday party and you've got more than two kids It feels like you can only get two together at the same time. Oh man Catch me if you cans ag. I got for my wife's in that now It was like it's one V she's one of them. It's one V four when I'm trying to get out of a place And I got the wrangling. you almost need to put him in the back of a squad car and lock them in. They get them all out the door All right, is it back to me? Yes, it is Um We did it for years So I'm gonna go with the usual suspects. Okay. It's always the same Trouble makers in the house. Yeah. one out of three. He's a good kid. I'm going go with the usual suspects there Some of them are easier, some are harder, but it's always Mine was this wasn't high up on my list, but I realized how true this was when you were talking aboutful restful sleep. Well, here's what's funny. So I only I really only remember my twins came first Um and then and then I had another child, but all the real bedtimeer routines, it's always the twins that come to mind Those are the ones that I remember. You don't refer to the other one as the single? No we don't. No twwins One of them was a Sleeper go to sleep. Oh, one of the two twins. One of the two Go to sleep, ten seconds Be restful, the other one nightmare And that one would wake up the P my name Jason was great Jersey was I'll tell the truth. They know know. They know who they are. But when you were talking about catchbe if you can. Yeah It may the great escape The great escape Yeah, yeah that is the walk Yeah to the door is so man hard. I would take twenty minutes to get to that door. would I don't care. I would walk as slow as I anything, just please And if you got on the other side of that door, it was like magic. Yeah. It's just like and then you get the door, you're closing. You Yeah Um whichich brings up the next thing when it gets difficult especially when one of them is bad and that wakes the other one up and blah blah blah It's a lot of mission impossible. Y. You know, it just feels like it's not going to happen tonight and I I don't know if there will be tomorrow All right and I think that one's good. It's back to me. I' between a few different ideas, but ultimately It's not just putting them to bed, that's hard. It is escaping with actual peace and quiet for the next few hours and on into the night Because I'm going to go to the TV show, it's prison break It's prison break because they will leave They will leave the bed Yeah, they will Oh gosh. I need more water. You already had water. Oh man. I forgot, you didn't set up the right stuffed animal. Yes, I did. Do you ever have kids get out of the crib? Like that's real prison. you put have in prison. Yeah. ye. it's just no one on this earth is thirstier Oh my go doesn't want to sleep and put to sleep. Yeah. And like this is they can pee the bed. They'll do anything to stay up. Yeah. So they can so they can pee the bed and stay up here longer. So So I haveis and break. I have my final two the way that it went for myself and my wife. eventually, you're going into the early hours of the next day Sometimes And we will call that dazed and confused as I no longer know day or what time it is And then the final boss is we're going to go with extremely loud and incredibly close. Okay 'causeuse I'm screaming in their face. G just go. I thought maybe they were incredibly close because they eventually come in and then they want to sleep in your room and you don't have the energy to off them back. Oh. So they just end up in your bed. You ever see the Samuel L Jackson bedtime story Yeah ye go very inappropriate for this podcast Go go the word to sleep. Yes, go the word to sep I enjoyed and needed that man in my life. A that moment. So what are you for I got scream days is confused extremely loud and incredibly close My final pick, I have familyily feud the usual suspects prison break I could go with the movie title, the negotiator or I could go with the TV show and that's what I'm going to do. The negotiator. Deal or no deal. Oh. deal or no deal. Eventually there becomes there's a point where you get to maybe J just Yeahah coming up with some sort of situation that they might agree to They're very good bargaining for themselves Yes. there the tenacity of never giving up in never never giving an in in their negotiations. They're very good at. But the best thing I ever heard from one of my kids who I thought was just a perfect little angel. was that he told us many years later he had his nap time And we had a two story house and he was up there And he said like we thought he was the perfect napper his whole life. And then he told us many years later, he goes, every time I went to bed, I just goofed around in bed And I could hear your steps coming up the stairs. Oh my goodness. And whenever I heard the steps, I would play like I was asleep and you never once knew that I was faking it every time. W Nathan We're putting kids on blast today. It really opened my eyes to the capabilities of these children, but Jason, a quiet place, the great escape mission impossible. thing is just think about Think about you. I know. Think about who you were as a child. I know. And for whatever reason we're like, o no, my kid. My kid. D you ever do the thing where you were coming home from an event and you'd try to fall asleep in the car so your parents would carry you in? Of course. We thing where I fake to asleep. What you carry me in? Yes. Use my legs? Yeah, no. Every time I'd come home from an event late at night I would ab so tired so they Carry me and the worst, the worst part was when your kid fell asleep right before you got home Oh yeah. I'm like waking up. We're trying to Hey, wake up rolling the windows down. Don't you fall asleep? Man, we had to do that. Oh man. too keep them awake. Yeah, d d d worst case the worst case is always once they get that little five minute power nap in. Oh, they're up. Yep. It's tomorrow now. They didn't know the difference between a night of sleep or five minutes. Yeah. All right. so I got my last one here. You just talked about like Sometimes it's a good thing, right? Sometimes it's when you're trying to tuck them in They're willing to talk forever. Yeah, they'. You could have An hour long Oh, they're trying to buy phological conversation because you know, this is the time that they will listen because they are doing anything to stay awake They want water. They've never been more thirsty They want a never ending story. Yeah. They want you to read that book Thty more times. just ye. I'll fall asleep this next read through. St over, Dad I mean, Where the wild things grow, I had that thing I could I didn't have to look at that b. You didn't. It was next aage. I knew That' why every wor. Totally right Yeah, you got it right, Jay. It you know it real well. It's where the big tall wild things grow. It's where the wild Look, it's been a long It's been like fifteen years. I know it like the back of my hand. I knew it's like the back of my hand Learn today I you learn I learned that Mike has never had a good baked potato. A great baked potato. Yeah, that seems true Mike, did you learn anything today at all? I learned that you guys have baby mouths and baby teeth and can't handle a grown up beverage This break on Brad, dude. you got my guy. He needs a strw. You' with that guy. Believe it or not, we all have older kids now and I learned I I kind of miss it a little bit. It might suck, but I kind of miss it just a little bit. Mike you miss it? They were They were angels. notot a minute. Goodbye, everybody. Goodbye. Thanks for listening to the Spit Ballers podcast To see what other nonsense the guys are up to, check out spitballerspod. com