Cinderella and Hollywood Career Reflections

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Why do we make whyy do we put that gravelly grunt on there? We know what they sounded like Wasn't there that video of the what King Tut sounded like right? Wasn't there a Jesus one too? That video so funny. I loved every very like that Hi. I'm Ka. It was so funny. But have you seen that video where they they have the caveman skull and they tried to determine what the voice would sound like. And so they have this like vocal expertty dude or whatever that they're saying, Okaykay, now pitch it higher than the reed pronunciation British too. That you game So he asks them to pitch it The person, the anthropologist is looking at the skull and saying, it's like somebody who's like a linguist and knows something skulls and how here's how it would, you know reverberate throughout the skull or whatever. And so this guy that's good at, you know, duplicating sounds U I' just like an actor, you know, but he's like very proficiionent with his voice is following the instructions And he's just saying one, two, three and then adding in the adjustments as they're giving it to. And eventually it ssound like, on And that's whatave that's what All cavemen sounded. Yeah. L mama. He look everyone To the ks! One, two, three. So there should be some band that samples that as the introuct of to their song. There should be three bands sample. Yes,'s. There should be eight bands that sample that. There should be nine bands sample. I think all band should sample it. If nobody samples it by tomorrow, they need to stoping a band Music has ended. Catastrophe. In an edict issued by Lauren Lapkas, no bands have taken up the challenge. Hey everyone, Wlcome to Freedom. My name is Scott. My name is Lauren. My name is Paul. That's right. That's what your names are. Yeah, I was wondering, it's so long What is the longest you've gone not knowing somebody's name that you would see re still Oh I decades. Yeah very long. There's one person in particular that I think of. that I started seeing when I first got into comedy and I know he must have come up to me and introduced himself at one point. and then it's just like very rude to ask anyone what it has for decades now. Yeah. It's so weird when it goes that long and you don't even overhear it from somebody else. Oh It's never said I've definitely got a few of those. Yeah. Too afraid to ask. Yeah I'm not one of them, right Your name is We don't listen for a second is his name. Now Is his name Gay all in Tailin T three. I'm like pretty sure. Is's something like that? Okay, you don't know either. No, I've never known. O T three. He says something at the start of the show every time. Yeah, but I don't I tune out. I know. I think it's Dale. Hey guys, what are you guys Is it nothing Dallon? What? What? What you? What't you call me? Say that Daylen. The last time where was I I was on a set and I was saying P occasionally acts in shows. This was acting though I was appearing as myself. This is on after midnight. Okay. And I was I midnight now. Yes called after midnight. I did not catch that. It's technically called at after midnight. That's right. A midnight. Yeah. And I look, I used to be Great with names. I never forgot a name or a face And then just as time goes on, you just know I I used to never forget either. to know everyone's name and their whole deal. Yeah, meet all the people you're ever going meet by the age twenty five It's interesteresting Don't you think? And then you just cycle through them That should be like a Tuesdays with May kind of book. Yes. in one way. You should meet everyone you're ever going to meet by the age of twenty five. And that's a book about how to live your life. So fast and people would be clamoring. It would go paperback, then it would go into many people You want to go give it to people. no wait, are you an actual ghost? Yeah. Oh no. How did you die? Paul in between the last episode U Boredom Yeah We didn't even pick you up off the ground. 'ause I miss my friends.'s nice baby. So o So the thing about There are there are certain situations where maybe you see the same group of people every month or something? Sure. situations like that. It's like just long enough where it's like I've forgotten everybody's name that I met. Right. And speent a day with them, had a great time Maybe I never expected to see them again. my brain just deleted those files. Sure, you don't need that kind of thing. I took a pottery class recently. Tell us everything. Congratulations. Thanks. I'm really cultured. Did you make anything? I didn't. And here's what I did is I was saying everybody's name all day long. on the set Oh like Tom Cruise. E Exactly. my old scen But it does work when you say actually what they tell you is when you meet someone, you should say their name back to them because that actually will do a lot events in your brain. Y. If you don't say it out loud, you're really not giving yourself much of a fight. But I think everyone you talk to you have to assume you're never going to talk to them ever again See, I think I think on a set everyone should have name tags and I don't mean that in I think so too. It was helpful. We used to on a bajillion and it was great. Yeah. It was great. because then you really just know every's namees. Yeah. And after all while you didn't need the name tags Yeah Yeah Pottery class So myotter cl Pottery pottery class. Lauren took a pottery class. Git on the head and fell in her wr. Pottery class. Made a bowl made another bowl. Now I got two bowls. . I first took the cl So I'm in a little group called class Club with two other friends of mine. You're in class club. I don't know that one. And we do a different class every so often we've done a cookie decorating class. We did a sewing and mending class. Just one dececorating class seems like You're just gonna to eat the cookies, so why b It's fun Oh, it's fun. And they're all one off. like and Mendes hours. Yeah. I did a Seaan and Mendes class whereere you put Seaan and Mendes together. Yeah. And then what came out? And then he I was like who. Well, you putush Sewn and Mendez came out and what came out, Charlie Poh Who is that again? Seaan Mis. Don't you roll your eyes at me? Just I can't explain E. What is it D disrespectful child. Heeses our elder. And we also did a pottery class. And it's just a one off. and then we liked it enough that we decided to sign up so it was me. So you re up Well, so yes, so the class One of our class club members wasn't there for the for the pottery class, but it was me and Mary Holland and Lauren Ashley Smith By the way, for new listeners, Mary Holland will never be on Freedom. Yeah. She'll never. She's mentioned a lot. She'll never be on on the show. because freedom is the three of us. If she came on when it would throw off everything. We may stop talking. Yeah. mayaybe Paage Davis eventually. Page Davis Did we cut her loose She wanted to come on. I think we think that' her her responsibility. pass to se by day. She doesn't want. And then it was R know Smith. She doesn't know that she does That's right Rie Smith of the Indiana pacers. ' wait toar from him. We're waiting to hear from him. Yeah. Yeah So so you re uppped your pottery class and what happenens? So okay, so the class my class club is Mary Holland, Carri Barrett and me And Carrie couldn't come to pottery, but we hadaura N Ashley Smith come with us. But then we decided, you know what, let's set up for six weeks And Lauren couldn't do it. so then We had Mary and then Care and her boyfriend and then me and my husband, Mike. And we took this class and it was really fun. It was downtown. And there were different, but the kind of the thing of, you know, you're seeing these people every week. I did learn Everyone's name within that time period, I only know two out of three now. you know, it's like that kind of. So meaning the people you didn't know in the class Yeah, you learned their names. becausecause is there a lot of interaction Not really, but it's a lot of watch by each other and being like high you know some small talk of I learned a bit about their history. Some people talk more though. you know in a class environment like that there are some people who are going to just talk to everyone or the person next to them You know, I was really focused on trying to learn this skill, which How are you as a potter now? I made some things that turned out okay, but I think my feeling was, I don't care You don't care enough to make them. And I never want on my free time because you're allowed to go to the studio and like practice. and it just was a lot for me to go do that. I was like I just didn't really have much time and then I also just didn't really want to. ' everyone thinks pottery, oh, it's gonna to be so great. You know, L glamor ghost. Oh wow. L someone's gonna come up behind me. It is really fun, but you man sucked to hell. There were certain parts I didn't like. I was suck to hell once. Oh my go This is so good. It's so nasty. there There's like so many steps. and so each week you're learning kind of a new step By the way, now that you're a second mother, are you like now a prude? I'll never ever talk about dick suucking again In a negative light. No, only a positive baby. There's so many steps to pottery and what are the steps? take us through? Oh God. O. Gotta get some clay. G the clay on the wheel. You get the clay. You weigh it You need way you need it out, which is a has a word I can't think of right now And then to get all the air bubbles out. That seems like the most annoying. Th you make these like balls that are like about the size that you want, the right weight and then On, by the way, is mimeing cupping cupping like Hagrid's balls. What about working on a shop? I don't want to Wait, so you were a potter like a Harry potter? Yes. and Then you wedging, that's when you get all the air out of it. I kind of like that part. And then you like make a noiseal and you do all this, there's so many stuff. There' so much to you it. It's like, can't you just walk into a store and buy this? You could. But wait so the first lesson you enjoyed, enough to take a second lesson. Oh yeah. well the first so the first lesson is just you make a bowl they kind of like lead you through it pretty quick like. You don't do all the steps R And they kind of because they want to hook you. Yeah and that feeling of like look, do the bowl I have. They do touch your hand in a way that makes the thing come to life better. L it's like, Oh here just touch like putut a little pressure here. Oh, now it's a bl And you're like, o, I'm amazed. So It's really horny. And then I made this cool So when I made two bowls in the class T bls Sdenly I think I'm a bl master. Two bowls lapas over here. Then I have to make them myself, You know, it's kind of a different story. but I did have fun There's how many bowls did you make after trrimming and things that I't like. Yeah How many bowls did you make after the two bowls that you made with assistance? In class, I think I ended up, I threw a couple in the trash that were honestly. No. That was wasteful. was like I'm the kind of person who will keep this for the rest of my life. No right. So I better throw it in the trash now. I do not want this. And there are enough that I made that are like usable to put some nuts in or some balls and just do things Some g ads. So People just drop out your place and put their testicles Testicules, yeah, I do think Asstray. Yes. R So the first Mike made an ashtay that was a really good for his friend And I straight. The first week you make a bowl. And they sort of cut corners so you can get the feel for it. that's a separate class. That's like your one off class. Okay, so that's a one off and then you can sign up for this. So I would say' starting from scratches if you never took that class becausecause they don't care if you took that class. No. They even say that they don't. So if I understand, you said that the first class you do end up making a bowl with their assistant and then they glaze it for you. But they skip they skip a bunch of steps. and then I like glazing. And then sure. Sure we all like glazing. Yeah. Who doesn't? And then the next lesson, they're like Oh you think you made a fucking bowl? Guess what? It's a piece of shit. You don't know how to wedge. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what anything is. They break why it break you down you suffer an? I don't take the one offffs classes because you leave there you don't actually know how to make anything. Who cares? But What I will say is that by taking the class, one thing I learned is I like I like doing the activity, but I don't listening. Oh, in case you guys ha' picked up the freedom story I really felt like I was at school sometimes and I was like, that's the worst part of school is feeling like you're at school. You know you're like, I could be doing anything else. I chose this. Yeah And I'm wondering why. And I I've looked into I've looked into college classes just for certain subjects that I go. I do. And they always tell me to leave. Yeah I opened physically when open the door like What's on in your ear? They're, getet out of here. This is the lady's locker room, then I just lock we talk What is this gym class? No, I've looked into community college I to see like start yelling, plug it up, plug it up. couldould I lear more about history or whatever. But then that's the fear is that I'll just feel like I'm back at school again where it's like, I'm not interested in this. There I think there's two things at play here. One is it' I think it's very rare to be a captivating teacher of adults Right. Number two, I think it's very hard for adults who don't have to be in school anymore L sit still for this shit where it's like, I don't this is more steps than I thought. I liked when they would set me free to do my thing and then give notes and help me and what that was all really good. So then I've said like, okay, well, I like reading books, mayaybe I could buy a book on the subject and I'll learn more about it. And then I can't find the right book Okay. You're also never gonna to read the book. I know. But but they can just die without knowing this stuff. There are some people who love being students. Yeah. They L has an autoidact Oh really does love too work Abraham Lincoln Iersonator? Yes, and he's really good at it with a big, big hat And you need Excuse me for just one moment long. Where should that come from? I don't know. It has no connection. First thought, best thought. I was really racking my brain It just sounds like He loves to learn and he's always learning something and it's very cool. And but even he think it's admirable. It's great. He was a little bit like, when's pottery gonna end? But he was getting good at. You auto duct himself Well because somebody else was diducting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did have a lot of fun when he got to go by himself and just do it. But do you think that he's good enough at things where like He could just go into a cl like a pottery class without any teacher. And by the end of it, he would have a bowl and be like, I don't know how this happened, but I made a bowl U no, it's pottery. I want to. Pottery is really specific. It's amazing when you watch the teacher because they'll just like create something out of nothing. It's like amazing to watch people who are really good at that when you're trying to make something, you can fuck it up so easily. It's like you really need someone to explain the basics before you can I mean, I think before you can start. I also didk putter in high school, we had it at by school. I did it at a it was a sort of like program at our local playground Yeah that had like an arts program. too. Yeah. And all I remember is making ashtrays. I made like a bunch ofhrays making. I made No one smokes at our house or anything like that. So smoke in my house. Oh. But is't it weird to be like a seven year old child and then everyone going like, hereere make an ashtray. Yeah, yeah. Yeah Th those are the days. But those are easy because they're flat. How I get a seven year old child to make you an alibi, when you're cheating on your wife Whoa Don't go too far No. I' far enough.. I gotta hear more. But yeah, I don't know. Asstrays I had one In my my my mom doesn't throw away anything either. I just remember it was there for years and years and years. Just like old tissues and stuff. Yeah. Yeahah. That's weird. Yeah. All the garbage She should She's got to throw that stuff away. I know Pottery made in high school. which is horrible. You got to bring it in for us. really good. Please, we want to see it. And I have every like card and letter up to a certain point. We want to read all of them. Once I got to a certain age, I went You don't need to keep them mom. Yeah, yeah. I know. Its thrway cards. It feels Yeahah, especially when like someone, even if someone writes something really nice I sit there, I look at it, I ingest it, I take it in, and then I'm like, I have to throw this away now. otherwise it will just sit on a desk. I don't keep a card for I still keep many cards, but I try to show Let's whittle this down. Have you ever had like a box of old stuff and you look through it? And there are things in there And you're like, I don't know what this is or why I've kept it Yeah. like a ticket that just is ticket on like aordable ticket. like I don't fucking know. No I have like I found a lot of I probably talked about those college papers that I found if think I told you guys this Like that stuff, I was like, why am I saving it? But then I didn't even had to go to Al. 'cause it's kind of funny to look at. It That's stuff for sure. What I did the last place when we moved out of, I found a lot of that stuff and I just took pictures of it all. I think I even sent you a picture of something that you sent to me in like nineteen ninety five and I sent it to you. That sounds familiar,. You should take pictures, then print the pictures out like the size of the thing and then like put it put it in a bocess All right, we have to take a bre The best summer pieces are the ones I end up wearing on repeat and I still feel great in. And that's why I love Quintince Quince makes elevated essentials using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton, and washable silk, washable silk withithout the traditional retail markup. Now I've been reaching for Quince's linen pants all summer so far. I have a pair of linen pants that I've basically turned into my whole personality. It's kind of all I am now. I'm basically a walking pair of linen pants. I wear them when I want to look like I have my life together, but I want to still feel like I'm in my pajamas, which is kind of basically all the time. 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With three models, the Defender ninety, one hundred ten, and one hundred thirty There's a defender for every kind of adventure, from city streets to remote trails. This is a vehicle that, like you, is capable of great things. Explore the fullefender lineup at land Roversa. com. And we're back. Can I say it very quickly before we move on? Super fast. It How quickly can you say it? I have stuff I want to get into, so justist. I have something I want to get into. No, I actually don't. but we do a thing where we try to say try to say very fast. Yeahah, see who could say it the fast. We tired it? Oh I hit lap. was The Butcher Baker candlestick maker. Butcher Baker candlestick maker. That was slow. That was so slow. But very enunciated. But your baker. I need to do another tast test. I if Jan want that. If Janie gives me a card or a nice note or something, I cannot throw it away. I save every. I can't do it It depends on howful. It depends on how differentail it is. Yeah. ye. If there's a whole page written too like a whole friend writes me a that card. I hear you. T LDR. If a friend writes me a thoughtful card, I keep it If it just says Merry Christmas signed by so and so, it's in the trash. Oh yeah. If a friend gives me a, even a friend's card I can eventually part with, but if Janeie, I can't throw away anything J. I have a couple of things that were written to me from people I barely know that I kept that I keep looking at going like, should I respond to these That's thes right back to a Christmas card. No, no, it's just like a nice note that someone sent me that I'm kind of like, o Oh, like you're supposed to could be the end note. Or should I respond? And that's why it both of these things are just sitting on my desk Should I respond is why I have over fif five hundred emails in my inbox? Yeah. See, I think you should, by the way Lot went back to someome of the earliest ones, twenty seventeen. You still had in your inbox cant What are the earliest in my inboxes? Oh my go. I' Is minus twenty twenty three. There's no you just Oh no, I mean mean my inbox inbxbx inbox No as unread. But my old box. would I would I outbox old boxly apply inboxarely apparently was a joke my friends dad home Americ. Oh, absolutely your friends dad told. For sure. This was really specific Yeah to my experience, but then everyone knew it apparently in this room, so It's a joke. It's a joke. Yeah. So it made the rounds. It madeid the rounds. My Gmail is very full, but I delete years at a time. You delete years at a time, right? I I'm always afraid Someone's gonna get a hold of me six years later and be like, Hey, remember me and then I'm not gonna to know who they are. So I always need to I think it' refresh my memory. them like coming out of a shadowy alley. Yeah. It's usually Batman. Remember me. I used to like to have every email then I would search Batman said, Rember me hand Batman at Batman dot com dot I would absolly pretend not to know who he was. I know what it was really Dandy before when you had an audition in person the way it used to be, and then you'd search and go, oh, I didn't meet this person already. that's a lot of what I like meeting people And just reminding yourself you've met them. Yes, yes, exactly I u yeah, I now just kind of go, let's just let the dice chips floor. they may. the dice diceer the flo. the buddies hit the floor. I thought about I really want to say somebodyody's hating the floor once. It was a beautiful. Can I say one more thing about deleting years of emails? Yes. I also used to say like say hold up. Can I also say, you made it sound like you were keeping up to date with your email? I am. But by but you're letting years accumulate? No, no, no, no I've read and responded to every email And then when they're in my, you know All male sex. Oh. I'll delete years at a time ag go. Okaykay, girls Let's just get rid let's just get rid of two thousand five and two thousand seven. Yeah. Let's just get rid of two thousand seven. I can't do it got. can't There are old like romantic emails know things that I go that I've sent you. I had revisited, you know, in a few years after that, whatever, like look back and be, oh, what did we? was like hy you want to see that.ery. You feel like them being in your inbox is like poisoning something. I just don't care I just don't care. It's not that I it doesn'. I'd rather save a physical card, but I also throw those out from people like that. All right, Paul, where are you say? I feel like I'm mediating. What was I going a couplees therapy. I want to set up my I've been threatening to do this for years, but set up my twwitch channel because I do like all the things that you can do on Twitch And one thing I thought would be fun and motivate me is to do like a maybe a weekly thing where I just stream myself answering all the emails from my inbox. Wow for deleting them. And you're gonna to read out out they are I will give information that is safe to I still say this one's coming from M from Montana that I I'll give the dates for sure. You're like this from twenty seventeen, I owe this guy fifty bucks. I'm not gonna reply. Do you guys owe anyone money Like meaning meaning like are there people in your life somebody? Like a friend from even from like two decades ago or something like that where Oh probably I never paid that person back. Probably. I'm sure that's happened. I have guilt about people buying me dinner and then me never buying them dinner. Really Sometimes I really don't like that imbalance and I feel really uncomfortable Depending on the person Other times it's fine, but there's there's sometimes I don't I don't like that H I remember when I feel sort of like I owe them or something or that it was weird that I didn't pay or something or But they offered to pay. Yeah Yeah My old roommate I Just weird interactions. My old roommate pid I definitely paid everything You know what it boils down to? justust weird and. Speaking a roommate roundup, I definitely paid my last roommate that I ever had. Was it roommate roundup Yeah,idn't we do We werere never completing that. There was restaurant roundup. Okay, roommate what was the? We did do roommate recap or something Romate recap We were going to do We started our. Yeah we started. We got like three in or we got pretty far but then I felt But my last one my last one I ended up paying everything. So I like wiped this le clean. But there are things like when I was up doing theater at a certain theater company and they they would let you stay with like a nice couple for like a few weeks U like the phone bill that I like ran up, you know, calling my girlfriend or whatever like that and then never paid, you know, like skiip town before paying and stuff like that. They're a little little find them. Have you ever haveave you ever lent money to someone knowing I'm never going to see this money again? Oh, yeah. yeah I'm meeting a mamba A black mamba?. It's poison. Oh no. Okay, guys, I wanted to tell you o something else had happened. Oh I know that I alluded to this on our text chain But for the listener, they haven't heard this exciting story U You've heard my stories about finding lost dogs Yes I had a great interaction recently where we found a lost dog with someone who was in Hawaii in and the dog was being taken Yeah of. ye yeah. I acting surprised. And we coaxed the dog out and I'm just half listening. And it was very frightened. And it was so good because I'd had Previously I'd had two rather three experiences previously on dogfinder. I had three experiences. I had three experiences with finding lost dogs that were the people were not very generous or gracious Yeah twowo of which were down the street And I've talked about these on previous shows where I've found this scared little dog outside of this person who lives down the street for me's house And I've knocked on the door and I've said, is this your dog? And they go Yeah, fine. And then they grab the dog and I've always been like, they need their dog privileges orindy? Yes. And I've always been like, okay, twice. To find the same dog twice, it feels like this is now your fault. how many times did you not find it that it's? Exactly that's how I felt. Okay. so during the break in between seasons of Threedom I'm walking down the same street. I'm walking my own dogs. Hollywood Boulevard. I see the Street of Dreams. I see Lbanon stars left and right. But don't step off. Maybe Van Dorin, you know, like these are the stars that I'm stepping on So anyway, so I see the woman that I've returned the dog to twice And she is packing up her giant truck Um, she's got ball. And what What was that Why did you say that and like that? Where are you lagh? I'm laughing ' I shouldn't have observe it. She got. She's got a big truck. just a woman with a big truck. She's. So the truck nuts, is that what you're talking about? got truck nuts She needs Chuck Crocks Shes Chuck Chuck Crocks Chuck Cck. She needs Chuck Cs So she's loading up her truck and I see behind dogs I see behind her the dog that I've found twice. I see this dog looking up at her, not on leash and looking up at her quizzically, and I'm thinking Does she know that dog's there? Is this a situation where she's let the dog out and he's not We've wondered who did it? Yeah the Baha men it turned out were the culprits, but they let the dogs out? Th. them Baha man. Do you think the dog is playing a prank on her couldould have been it. Yeahah. so I'm just I'm across the street, I'm trying to ascertain what the situation is. This dog is looking at at her. She's not giving the dog the time of day. Can you describe the dog? because I have a picture in my mind of what the dog looks like. He's very tiny, He's brown. He's got like. this is what I was This is what you were thinking about. Why do you think this? you've seen it No. Okay. I just W you've been visiting me in my dreams? I never You know that? Yeah. You saw me. Yeah, I've seen you. In the corner, skulking? Saw me in your dreams? Yeah When you describbe the dog looking at her, all of a sudden, I picturered the. Yeah, yeah. So it wass just kind of looking up. I pictured a black and white dog with like ears that were like huh? H The ears were saying that. Yeah, they were like a So she gets into the truck. the dog is sort of trying to get her attention, goes behind the truck The woman starts her truck up.' The dog is directly behind the truck O leash I run across the street, I'm waving my arms with my dogs on my leashes. So the dogs are flying all around. Yes, it's chaos. So I'm waving my arms to try to get her to stop before she runs over her dog U She is not even looking in a rearview mirror. starts to go backwards, Then the screreech like sees me waving my arms. She gets out, She's like, what And I say, your dog is directly behind your car. What's your obsession with my f? Yeah. You're about to run over your dog She gets out and goes, Oh Oh my Godd and comes over and as she's going over to go pick up her dog, This dog then attacks my dogs. What and starts to bite my dogs. This is pure c on their leash. I'm trying I'm like trying to get my dogs away from this dog. who is now chasing them and biting them and She's like the woman is not going over and picking up her dog because it's like she doesn't want to get in the middle of it or something. So I gently as I can am using my foot, which is my only appendage to like sort of like tap the dog back to back it away from my dogs. She eventually goes and grabs it and is like Oh man, sorry about this But ever since we got another dog, this one's acting out Is the dog in the yard? No, no, it wass a squirrel that had a huge. They saw something something from a tree.orn. Really? Pine con. Pine cone maybe. We're overlooking a tree here in the studio. Sorry see a tree. I love a squirrel. It's raining hard. So she's basically saying she got another dog and now this dog is acting out. So she has two dogs that she's treating this It's really bad The other video I was thinking about this experience I had, which I'm sure I've told you, but This was like ten years ago. I was just driving in like on the west side somewhere in some random streets But you know, where' like Things start to intersect and it's crazy and busy and like big big intersection coming up off of some like residential streets. Yeah.. I'm just driving along in this. Iot you're a country pumpkin bul Oh, so there's like trucks and cars and they go on these things high buildings Tall building? Yeah. Taller than one story high. What word did you say? Sibuli? City life Sibuli. Sibul. really. Sibuli, of course, Sibuli. And I Al in a perpetual state ofan as we're talking. See this little tiny baby head walking down the street I could only see the head. Baby of what aan of purse a baby It was like a toddler. I could see just the top of their head from my car. That sounds pretty cute. Just walking down the street Towards huge intersection alone Soull this is not an episode of oldld Enough No, this child has not been sanctioned to do this task. And I got out of my car and went and helped this baby and walked back and the mom was on the phone unloading groceries in her driveway and had noticed She was she had no reaction. It was so weird. like I was like, your baby was just down the street by the corner here and then she was like Okay, and she's like grabbing gceries. I was like, that's Drop the groceries. Crazy. It stuck in me forever because you get it now. If Well, yeah, sometimes just water off. Yeah. If I hadn't gotten out of the car, I'm like, what would have happened? was just so What if you had said not my problem? Right Spideran. It was like baby's Day out. Like he's just just babyies just narrowly missing construction beams and Yeah, it could have been funny. Can I sayay That fucking baby's day O great. It's a rip off of mister Mcu and won't they won't admit. They won acknowledge. They w Oh my god. they don't Oh my go, they don't admit it. Yeah. I have to say I want to. We will have talked about this already on another podcast by on my other podcast, The neighborhood Listen. People send in. we read posts from nextxt door and we use them. as improv, you guys have both been on the show. And sometimes know, we encourage people to send them in if they have an interesting one And somebody sent one in that unfortunately turned out to be But A good chunk of a sketch from I think you should leave So fake Sent in a fake netw. They did not realize it was fake. Oh, and they didn't realize it was it was the premise of a sketch. Exactly. Exactly. So you guys did improv based on The what ended up being the premise of a sketch from what you think you should leave. Yes What was it It was five hamburgers. No was not. It was not. But that figures into this tale. Oh. It was they're planning a baby shower and what should we bring for the baby shower? And Tim Robinson is like, what about like, you know a bunch of Fedoras What about you know, I got a thousand little plastic meatballs. But So what's the next door of it all? Like they're like my neighbor was talking about this. Somebody posted in like ' there's a for sale for sale in freez lecture. For sale. For sale. If you got something for sale? So somebody said I'm selling a thousand plastic meatballs. They look like a little pieces of shit for whatever. And we were like reading this post like this is too good to be true. and it turns out it was It was too good to be true. But then people were saying like How could they not know like they quote, I think you should leave all the time. It's like we quote one sanch. I don't remember everything. Oh my God, he admitted and fif five an. And of everything. Maybe I remember a sloppy steaks. I forgot about that so you just said it. Yeah. And I don't remember that one with the meatbs. I remember the I me I watched it again and I didn't remember it. here's brand They go fast The episodes are fifteen minutes and you're like You're not gonna mem you just kind of have like one part that sticks out. Here's what I find interesting though, is like I think it would be interesting to watch a sketch show where a premise is given to two different teams. Yeah. and you see that you see how they both write the sketch. And it would be wildly different and it would be they'd be two totally different sketches withith the same premise. I think it would be really interesting. Which is kind of what happened here because the guest was Drewud sing and then he had to He didn't catch it either And then he had to come up with a reason why this guy had these things and was trying to sell them and the wording of it and everything. Yeah. And that would be a fun live show Yeah, it. It would be a fun live show. Nobody steal this. Wait, wait, you get the premise live and you have to write the sketch in front of everyone? Like, yeah, I feel like no, no, no, noluding lunch order No like there's other things that happen during the show, but like people get sent off to do that task and then they come back and perform it. orr they come back from the previous week. And then you have the previous week profess. Soven why is alive Yeah, everyone lives in this place, right? So they know they're all roommates. Yeah. Or it's like, okay, it's improv and We like No, but improv is kind of similar where you could like well, like one team leaves the room and you give the team the same opening line and whatever. and then then and then and everybody do it everybody have fun doing it Yeah. people And people would pay to get in and we'd all be rich. And we're gonna make Oh my. So much little money. Tys. So much little money. So much little money's gonna be flowing out my coins. That sounds like an I think you should leave. So I made so much little money. Guys, I gotta go back to the dog thing and just ask ask Yeah, two questions. Yeah. One meeting you One who questioning you. you questioning the fl. One who to where what? Do Do anyone I don't want to be a Narc, but does anyone need to get involved in this in this woman's dog I don't know I don't really know what the deal is. I know. that kind of thing. That seems like doesn't sound good. It sounds like she lives Like really carelessly. A careless life. Okay, here's my other question I was sort of after all this where even the dog is is is biting my dogs. I'm kind of like If I ever see this dog again, what do I do? If I do I save this if it's the ex No, But if the exact same thing happens and I see this dog is about to be run over, I'm probably gonna have to go save the dog again. But it just feels like it can't happen four times. I don't like I respects like it could. I really respect the saving of dogs on the street and I have a many friends who are passionate about this. Al I'm not special There was a dog in my neighborhood, It was like just a puppy and it was this just in this yard frront yard with a fence and Like I could tell that these people didn't care about the st. It always makes me sad. All it had to eat was a ball and I was like, I'm gonna save it. It was a rice Krispy ball. Wait that's stealing Gixing stolid dog I mean, I took it out of the yard and you, it's mine. What a ball Yeah it was eating now. What food Okay, what shape is it? Mashed potatoes? Yeah. Is it spherical Yeah, balls of mashed potatoes. You can't I use an ice cream stoopper. Potatoes Why don't they call them ice cream slash mashed potatoes? D youget that I didn't I'm being dumb. It I always get Ose we got it But I now the worst place. Why did it race crrispy ball? which was not the premise? Yeah Wa The first was the dog was playing with a ball. Yes. And I was dumb enough to think that was its food. Yes. I liked it. I enjoy you. I thought I was very clear. I was trying to build up. There was no confusion He gave me a little. I know, I'm trying to protect him and don't protect him, prrotect me. Protect me, Lauren. You're both being protected by what I'm saying He got it, He did a good job. He got it. He did a good job, He did a good job. We all did a good job and I'm proud of us. Yes. And we can do it. we can do it. All right, we have to take a break When people hear that Mint mobile plans are only fifteen bucks a month, a lot of people wonder, Hey, what's the catch, sweetheart? Well, I can tell you, there isn't one. There are no gimmicks, no gutches, just unlimited talk, text and data, fast, reliable coverage on the nation's largest five G network, an award winning care team to take care of y MintMobile took what's wrong with wireless and made it right with premium wireless for fifteen bucks a month. 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Lear more at G go. amx slash graphite And we're back. Oh boy are we? And man is it time for a threeacher? I mean surely is. There has hardly ever been a time that's been more time As As the Eth spins round and round, it is time for a threep. Is the Eth spinning around around think it's time Did it stop one day. I think your's when the sixties When we went to the moon. Oh fuck, that's right. Oh, we pointed the space laser at it and it stopped. Ohoh, I didn't hear that part. Yeah. What? Oh ye. we pointed the space laser at the mooon and then that me the Earth st? No from the moon. That's where we kept the space laser. And then bz. Guys, can we see a threeure? Sure. Well, it's time for it. I love it sure thes around Wink, wink. Jitterb. Yes, this is Laurences request This was originally submitted by Yoni Gordon. Yoni Gordon. Yoni Gord All right So the way so you're all familiar with the song by Huam UK called Jitterbug. No, it's not called Jitterbug. It's called Wake U up Be before you Go Go. Yes. Wake me up Be Be you go go plan and I'm go exxplicablyart people snapping their fingers and saying jitterbg. Yeah. man, I tell you the first time I heard it I was confused and then I was like, I don't know, it just makes sense. The first time I heard it I thought this is inexplicable. The second time I heard I thought this is in exxplicable. Yep. Can you explic it? I did. And you know what It makes the sun shine brighter than Dorsday. That's right. So our world is better for the fact that this song exists. Ited. Sweet. You knowed. We like to play a little game called Jitterbg. we Oh the tyrant Napoleon could have heard the song. H you say words that fill the syllable count of the word jitterbg in the time allotted We're going around in a circle We're going around, I would say clockwise, although Paul As discussed on this show, you don't quite know what that is It doesn't understand. No, when we're sitting in this configuration, I do not know what clockwise is. Meaning to your it'll travel to your left. I don't know how you don't know. Like imagine Scott's Oh you don't. Imagine Scott's midnight And you're three. I'm after midnight Oh, okay. Watch me on CBS twelve thirties. Okay, Sent him anything for you? No. What are you, dear? Three? That's about Yeah, it wass supposed to be three. twelve three nine Okay. What I get it. No you don't liar? Fuck Okay. Hold on, hold on. Paul gets it And you and you get that he gets it. Yep. Okaykay? I understand and I I like that we're doing this now. This is good. We need We need the third person in an argument We need escalateitterbg We have to fill up twenty more minutes, Lauren, so you're rushing us to play ditterbuuck It's not gonna make it go any faster. Possible. It's possible. It's prob. It's possible for a plain country pumpkin and a prince to join in marriage. Where is that from? Cinderella starring Brandy. Oh Brandy. She's a fine girl. Is that the Rogers and Hammerstein version No Well, why don't you go home? Well up come back hold hold a second, hold a second. Now Lauren doesn't know and you understand that she doesn't know it's not her fault. Okay, yeah, you're right, good. This is good. This is good. This is the way we can keep the show going. Otherwise, this might be the last episode we come back for two episodes and then we're like I've never seen any of those those televised thingies that where they did Disney things. My ex girlfriend was Cinderella in this version, I believe. My own girlfriend Y girlfriends Cinderell Randy That's how I'm tal talkking about brandy She's a fine girl. So it's not the Rogers and Hammerstein version. However, I do wantan to Google that. I do believe it is the Rogerson and Hammerstein version. But she was not Cinderella Randy was Cinderella What are you talking? I'm saying I'm pretending that your ex girlfriend was Branded because Scott. C. I'm saying my ex girlfriend was Cinderella in a stage version of the Rogerson Ham scene fucking Cinderella Now, who's gonna mediate me? Cinderella Brandy, nineteen ninety seven Why was that long ago shit? It doesn't say a word about Rogers and Hammerstein Okay, let let me do a better. Oh, it does say it on the post. Oh does it? Right above the name. Right above the name of what? Who's Cinderella? Cinderellas's yeah Riders and Hammer scene Cinderella Yeah. So it is that. And Whitney was in that? was she fairy godmother Whitney's theair godmother, got Why Goldberg, We got Berned. Peters, got Brand, we got Jason Alexander. It was the original one? because I think it was written for TV Was your girlfriend? hadow I just don't know Okay. I don't have all the answers. I'm gonna to look it up. Okay, Rogers An Hammerstein Cindlla. The first version of it It was written for television and then adapted to the stage. It was originally broadcast on march thirty first, nineteen fifty seven as a vehicle for Julie Andrews. who' Julie Andrews. Why wouldn't you have her in it? You know how many people watched it it was twenty seven billion million trillion billion billion.ery close one hundred million people. That's so many you imagineving any today watching anything now Jes It was sububsequently remade in sixty five and ' ninety seven. The sixty five version was Leslie Anne Warren Oh nice. And then the nineteen ninety seven version of course, Brandy Norwood Leslieanne Warren was in Cue Clue. She ran for Sen. Scarlett? Did she really? No, I don't know that this name sounds like something. Elizabeth Warren? Yeah, that's. And then there was also Leslie Anne Down. That's right. She ran for S. I don't remember what she did or what she was was was an actress, right? I hope so It's a good life It is a good life. Do you make a go of it? It's a fine life. Even just doing like random little under fives. Oh Oh yeah, Ereck random. Oh, you mean my career? You had a a good like. I had a good run. are so self deprecating, but you have such a great career and you have so much more fun to be had. Beautiful. I have had a great career. I've had a lot of fun. And I guess it's like there's always the worry of like, o, it's over. No In fact, I am gonna make a prediction I think you're going to get on a show And it'll be the first ever to win an oscar for a TV show. Wow, o That started out fun. And then I we realized oh this guy's crazy. Oh you think I'm crazy. Well, ce, you're crazy. No, I think you'll be on a show at some point. It it'll be a popular show. That happens all the time. I think I'll be an old man and be on a show. That's good. I think so. I'm fine with that. Sassy Grandpa. And It'll be like a June Squib situation or something that. I'd love to be a male June Squib John Squibbs. And you' Yeahah, John Squib, and he has Squibbs where he's shot every episode. I should change my name Yeah too John Squid. It's a good stage today. I think it's been so long since I've had an audition that the turnover has got to be that it's all new people. Yeah. I a new guy. Yeah. you're just Jhnqu. Jon Squim. And Jhn Squ's ex. Yes, I've spent a lot of time treadding the boards. That's why we probably haven't met before. I'm always treading the boards J back and forth There byy the way, speaking of a John fill in the blank, I was reading a nice children's book Okay. That is a segue you could really apply to anything. Yeah, Wh not? Reading a nice children's book called Good Night Gorilla. I don't know if you have probablyolly loves it. Great book. Yeah. Beautiful illustrations I looked up the author, who's Peggy Rathman, I believe. Yes She's married too John Wick Wy isn't that crazy? That is crazy. I look up a lot of authors when I'm reading these books because I'm like Okay, let me guess if they're British or not. Yeah. That's one of the ones I like usually tell from the photo. Yeah. But a lot of times they aren't, but they'll have it mum or something. and I'm like, why is it mum? Canada Did your mom and came Yeah and Massachusetts It why in Massachusetts? I don't know Interesting That's how Mitch says it. Yeah. And is that when you're saying mom or you know how they say M for m as well, visit mom They say M, you mom, Mom. M Now is that just they are they saying momom or are they saying m'am but pronouncing him? They'reing m', pronouncing mom. And when that guy says mother about his wife, he means to say mom. That guy? you mean Mike Pence? Yeah. Oh my God. I honestly couldn't remember his name and I was happy. Yeah honest we could memory wipe ourselves for the last eight years. It would be so much fun. And then we could do this show over again. All the stories would be new U wait. o, u He we were talking about were well, we were talking about Jitterburg, Mommy, Jitterburg, Massachusetts Mom Massachusetts. Okay, well, we're talking about jitterbug. We're about to play it U originally submitted by Yoni Gordon. and then we've talked about the song how it goes Jitterbug. We're going to go in a circle clockwise and we're going to go know what that means? We're going to start with Jitterbug And then we're going to go clockwise and we're going to have to say Things and phrases that fill up the jitterbg, the meter. The meter and it has to the meter. It has to work. It has to work it it has to work. And we can work And we can do this. We can work We can do this, but it has to work. And it can And it can It can. No I swear. It can. No I swear. But it's not a guarantee. Come on. We can do it. That's a guarantee. Yeah Let's do it. It has to work. That's up in the air. It has to work. Okay, here we go What do we say? Jitterbug first or we snap first? snap first. Okay S a book Jar Bg Did you hear a bug Who goes first game? I will. Jud a bug. Here we go Brady pick Rose of Gants Gildenern. Got to gotot to the Hamlet Bys Parking lot Meter made Tffic upop. Orange juice. Milky squirt. Dying or food. Goffic up Coffee mug. Hot tea mug Kury bar stick Hers she squirt Fluren's laughing so much. I don't think she Hers she squirt to me is. Diet squirt Butterball. Fancy hat Turkey legs ray boat Candy yams. Pater mesash. Frenchy fries Large fries You out. I'm out or out That's good. Diet squirt after Hershey squirt. Really Diet Hershey squirt. Like a diet squirt. It's so weird that's a soda that exists. It is. Diet squirt? Squirt squirt Justin Jon squirt Yeahah, That's true. have ai a squirt Hon for the squirt lovers out there. Honestly, anything that exists, it's kind of weird that it does. Squirirt you know I'm high.on't do that. Okay. I'm sorry. Paul is always high during. I'm always high and I don't want aad trip. I've never had a trip and I teend to keep it that. You're high twenty four hours a day th. twenty four hours a day day. So you' love always on a good trip Always I love being high. Well guys, that's gonna wrap it up for us. If you want to submit a threeacher to us, and we pray that you do. Oh my gosh.. If you were ever to submit a threereather, we would be so happy. Now I lay me down sleep Okay thiscuseord my soul to keep, ooh, a nice little burp Is is that aragary? Praggy burp. Babad deep, Babad Duke. Marbble Duke. Babad Duke's a good one. Badu Duke. I should have said that. What is the Babad Duke When you saw him, you were like, ah, and he was like, Jitater bug. I'd love him. That would still be really scary. By the way, not to be that guy but it is pronounced Baba Dook. Baba Dook. It is. Is it supposed to rh with Book That was very confusing the first time I saw it. Absolutely. Yeah. It's like, what? this is a book. you want to sayabababab. It's supposed to rhyme with book. Yeah, because in the book in the actual book it rhymes with book. Yes. Baba Baba book B three.ot a b Bing Badaook, Badu, Badadu. I dontcuse me. Mr Babadu,. I'm sorry. A you' the way with a Babadook He came over me to say it's legitit buuck But if you want to submit a three cher, here's how you do it Right to freedom USA at gmail dot comot Oh two one three four. Oh two one, three four, What's that? That's from Zoom. commercialcial. What was that? Boston mass. Right to Zoom. Oh this Zoom you zoom Zoom, Zoom Zoom.' gonna zoom Zom Zoom. Not to that guy ever pronoun zoom Oh Oh no, not again. And also if you want to call us, occasionally, we'll take phone calls on the show. Yeah Not live, you leave us voemail. Yeah, leave us voem. have to verify that the message is. Leave your social securityber. Leave your first pet's name, the street you grew up on, your m beces your slut name