Closing Thoughts and Outro

There are millions of them. Some might say too many. I have one already. I don't have any because there are enough. Politics, businessiness, sport, you name it. There's a podcast about it, and they all ask the big questions and cover the hot topics of the day. But nobody is covering the most important topic of all. Why is that? Are they scared? Too afraid of being censored by the man Possibly, but not us. We're here to ask the only question that matters. We'll try and say it at the same time, Max. What did you do yesterday yesterday? What did you do yesterday? That's it. All we're interested in is what the guest got up to yesterday, Nothing more. Day before yesterday, Max? No, The greatest and most interesting day of your life Unless it was yesterday We don't want to know about it. I'm Max Rushton, and I'm David O'Dar Hervey. Welcome to What did You do yesterday Hello and welc to What D You Yesday My names Max Ruston, alongside me today, Irish comedian David O'doherty, Hello David. It's great to finally get the nod and be on your podcast, Max, thank you very much. I've never seen your stuff. I don't know much about you, but I've heard good things on the grape vine I've also got along for the ride with me today One of my favorite new Irish comedians of recent times. Her name is Kyla Kobbler. I mean People that know her will generally have come at her stuff from her millions of Instagram followers. Her stuff is so funny and beautiful and slice of life. And we get a real glimpse of that today. We get. Great day. Cat stuff We get pressure of buying clothed stuff I mean I don't want to give it away too much No, no, there's I was going to give a spoiler but I will talk about it in the debrief. Okay. Okay. Ail' going absolutely gangbusters. The big gig to plug, I guess is I think it's the twenty seventh of February. She's playing the three arena in Ireland, which is the largest indoor venue. Wow. She did not need to do this podcast, but she was very kind. Well, in many ways, everyone needs to do this podcast Yeah, I guess that is true. I mean, does anybody need to do any podcast? I mean, I'm not trying to do podcasts down. Need is an interesting word, isn't it? You might like I think about Wi Ali so much, former guest on the podcast who is, you know, an Australian public intellectual, but definitely thought you were asking him to be on your football podcast. So I didn't sort of back door Kyla into this one, you know, with a promise. She knew what was happening She definitely knew that that's how I book my guess. But through the episode you can sense between the lines there is an underlying desire from her to be on football weekly. That's what really comes about This is what Kyla Cobbler did yesterday Kyla Cobler, welcome to what did you do Yesterday? Thank you, Max. I'm happy to be here. I'm happy you're here. To the listeners, we know that Max's life I mean, I'm not saying my life's really organized But I've never known someone to eat a bowl of meatballs so close to the beginning of a podcast. Without introducing himself to me either, just came in hot with the meatballs in the f. It is very uncomfortable. You know what,ve never Kla, I've never introduced myself to anyone before I've eaten a plate of meat and rice in front of them Yeah Which is awkward at like Do's where you're meeting more than one person. Yeah. And then Dave went, Oh Max is in Melbourne as if that makes I was like Today is dinnerime. You don't get to like Meatball me because you're in Melbourne. Stop throwing all these Ms in my direction. Swort your life out? I have a question, Carla. you lying down for this podcast? Yeah, I am lying down for this podcast. Excellent. Well, what a relaxed approach to podcasts. G, I thought you were going to give get me shit there. I was like fucking No, notot at all. You may you can be in any position you want for this recording. Well, I just ran out across fit class early to do this So I'mon committed to you guys. And I'm better than you because I worked out. Yeah. And endorphins are surging through your hot bod. Sging through my Hot bge. My fear is Yock. The pillow is, is that enough? Will your neck get achy? You know what's so annoying about that? This is my fucking husband does this to me all the time. You don't look comfortable. You don't look comfortable. I like a hard I wood shelf resting on my skull. It's my neck that needs the support, okay? Otherwise I'll lie right down and I'll fall asleep. As yet, no guests. All guests have stayed awake for the whole record. We're very proud of that record that we have. Crushed it. Yeah. Okay, let's get down to business then Carla, what time did you wake up yesterday? Yesday I woke up at seven thirty seven thirty four to be exactly. I don't know how exactly you wanted me to be so Exact, please. Yes. Okay. seven hundred thirty four. Is that typical? Is that an alarm that goes off? seven thirty. No it's an alarm. I'm definitely an early bird, but I'm an extra early bird in the summer and I just got back from Australia. so I do I'm kind of living the tail end of a jet likeag or seven thirty eight would be my time. Would you have woken up later if you hadn't If your head hadn't been ninety degrees against a wooden bookshelf Well, jokes on you because I stepped downstairs and you didn't ask that question. so go podcasting ion Where do we find you? You wake up for a moment. You're like, I'm Irish, but where am I? I'm in London. London, wow. I slept in the lounge last night. I brought the mattress down and we slept in the front room Why is that? Because we got a kitten and we also have a cat So we're trying to integrate And we just have to be there all the time to let the mic hang out and stuff. And they're not allowed upstairs. No they are, but the kitten can't get upstairs. and we didn't want to leave them out. Are you worried that the cat might try and kill the kitten? Yeah, she has one eye and we adopt her. I don't know how that happened. So I cant imagine the past that she's rocking up with. Does he have a little patch She does on the functioning eye, which is gas We just do it a fuck her. Yeah. So when you wake up, what is the arrangement you mister Kobler and the cat and the kitten on either side? withither side? No, so we wake up. normally Klopsy is up here. She's actually here with me now. Do you wantanna see her? Sure. Klops Oh yeah there I just see the evil silhouette. I'm sorry, evil was the first word that came to mind. So we wake up and then we call Clatsy down. she comes down to cuddle and then we go and open the door for the kitten of the office and then the kitten comes out and then they have a very intense Good morning conversation with hissing and then a little bit of playing. and then Colopsy remembers that, he's on her territory, so she hisses again. and yeah, it's been like that for a few days. What's this name Plopsy as in? Clopsy like Cyclops. Oh yeah. One eye. That's the kitten or the cat. The cat is Copsy. The one eyed cat is Clopsy, and then the kitten is called Capo, which is Italian for boss Right, I see. Does the name Clopsy predate the loss of the eye? in which case I've got questions. And I would be the ultimate manifestor. No, no, no, no, we got her like that I got her like that. Her name was Mila when I adopted her, but that sounds sluty, doesn't it? It sounds like a hoover Does it? Mila, Hoover's Yeah, a slutty hoover, the slutty hoover. A horde of a hoover. Yeah You suck on her suck everything up. Oh my God. Sorry. I'm ready We once talked about trying to put your Willy in a dyson in this podcast. So I feel we've covered that already. Michell Wal' a whole bit about it. Was it Michelle? Yeah, it was with Michelle And then once again, the sponsorship from Dyson didn't come through. Dyson, come on. But hang on, if you are trying to integrate the kitten. Why is the kitten in an office is closed away for the night? Because you can't just put them in. They'd be like gladiators in the arena. You have to like slowly like get them It's called scent swapping So you have to get them in different bits of the house, rubbing on everything, getting their smell on everything And at some point then they just embrace. I mean, that's the plan. Or one of them dies. Oh my goodness.ither a fight to the death or a love puddle? I don't know, yeah What do we do? We presumably we feed these animals. Is this the first Yeahah, wake up seven thirty four. We do the scent swapping. I make coffee, Simon got the food ready and then we fed them on either side of the same door. That's another thing you have to do. So the big one doesn't steal the little one's dinner. No, I just think because that's the most territorial moment is their food. So it's really important to get them like near each other while they're eating because otherwise that would be like a high pressure moment of attack conft Sounds to be like the RDMC versus aerosmith video for walk this way Yeah where R DMC are rehearsing in one room and aerosmith are rocking out in the other room. someomeone puts a foot through the door and they do walk this way. That's what you're open. I think they put a foot through the wall actually. So it' be like Klopsy just like scratching so hard it goes T I have a question which is That is the technical moment where you have to kind of that you've got the two bowls of food Yeah you have to shut the door and the cats are around. That's quite there's a bit of a dance that you've got to do. Well, I think you're imagining like Tiger King with the me and the lions jumping up. like it's they're just house cats. So it's not that stressful. You just like walk into one room, close the door, put the food down, walk out and then put the food. like I don't balance everything. I do it step by step. Understood. And I also have a partner. God damn it. I'd imagine them as tigers This whole time, I don' imagine them A jag I made that clear they're just host cats. They're domesticated cats. Look I appreciate you because quite often in podcasts people sensationalize things, you know? Yes. too try and get the big Instagram clip. We don't put anything any video out anyway. So I'm glad I saw that. You've taken it back to reality. They're just cats If Kyla had chosen to go with the Tiger thing, I think it would dominate any future publicity that you ever do. It would be she lives in London with two tigers. I just w to be known for that. You know what I mean? Yeah. My success is my own. I don't want to be about the tigers and the big cats I have in London in my apartment. It is frustrating. I want people to see me for me Yeah, I understand that. Okay, so the cats have their sheiba. you've got a cup of coffee and now what's happening? Then I go upstairs and I do my skincare routine. Right, hereere we go. Is it a comedy routine about skincare, You do a. I swear go proro and go nuts. Conent, conent, con gent, am I right No, I just go up, I do my little I have my own little bathroom here. So I go and I have a little mitten and I clean my face with a little mitten. Okay and then I put cleanser on and then I do an even tone serum. and a vitamin E serum And then I put on SPF fifty and then I get changed into my workout gear. I have less of a skincare routine. Yeah. How sort of sloppy is your face after two serums and an SPF? They're really well designed to absorb into the pores. R. So it doesn't sit on the surface. It goes right in there. Got it It was not just all the cream on my face for ages. I was imagine just sort of like Vasiline like half a vas. I'm not all lubed up at the start of the day. Okay. How long does that routine take? That takes about seven minutes. It takes under ten minutes, which I like. Now I'm sure you could do it a bit more slower and I'm sure you could be a bit more, you know, take your time, but I just don't have time for it with the Tigers. Do you have a music on while you're doing it or is it fully I'm imagining the Youent more of it all. Yeah, ye. instead You're both making it very clear that you've never moisturized just by the assumpt that are and the questions you're asking. It's been established that David's head is larger than some of the dwarf planets. and so there just isn't the moisturizer in the world. There's not an industrial moisturizer. No if he was to moisturize, no one else would be able to. and he has made the ultimate sacrifice. Wow for the greater good. No yesterday I listen. on Mondays I listen to theann podcast. It's anstroly podcast. So I listened to that yesterday when I was moisturizing, but I didn't get through it That's I kn it was seven minutes becausecause it was a ten minute podcast and I got through seven minutes of it. and I was kind of got it. And what's Channie saying? is? You know what she said? She said Don't gohe. Sometimes no, she said, sometometimes there's weeks when loads of stuff happens and sometimes there's weeks when major transits happen. And she goes, and this week, it' is just one of those weeks where a sweet fotall is going on O Which I love. Yeah, is she doing a podcast for each different star sign? becausecause they can't all be nothings fuckles gonna happen this week? No no, that's the general reflection of what's going on. And then you can pay extra a subscription and you can get your personal reading done every week as well for like I' rising or whatever you are. I understand. But next week is a big deal Oh whyy, what's happening next week? Next week, Jupiter and Venus are in conjunction. so it's like Lucky, lucky, lucky lottery number lucky. B abundance. a lot of good shit is coming. Venus, the hottest planet in the solar system. Oh is it? No the hottest because even though it's second from the suun and Jupiter, the largest obviously of the gas planets and't it obviously make me feel stupid, Max. My four year old has gotten into the solar system three weeks ago. so there is w. If you'd asked me three weeks ago, I wouldn't have known anything but now I like that your four year old is learning that much. That's so good. Yeah. Does he go to like a good school He does the Chany podcast. wr. He's an avid listener of Chany Nicholson. I used to do you'll both remember this. I used to do the Overnight showow on BBC London in about two thousand. sixix two till six in the morning. We loved it. in Ireland? Yeah. I mean it was huge. It was all we li. And I don't know if I've told this before. O one night we did astrology for two hours and a nice lady came in, Australian lady, I forget her name and the phone lines went mad. I mean, it was like three in the morning, but literally it was insane someone rang up to say, look 't remember her name, but she used to ring all the time from two till six in the morning all the time. She'd say, Look, my node is in Neptune and Pluto is moving west and I wondering I'm in finance and my career isn't going well I just wonder, does that have anything to do with it? And before the astrologers could say anything, I did say, look, I don't want to lose listeners, but do you think the fact that you're awake between two and six every morning to this has some impact. Kyla, we've moisturized. We've got the fifty on That implies we're going to go out at some stage. I'm interested in that, but I want to know what you did next Next I went downstairs. I had my workout gear on And then I went down to cross this. I locked the kitten in his room. in as we dunge in and then I went to Crossfit Tell us about Crossfitits It's where everyone's really angry, isn't it? That's why it's called crossfit. No, no, no, you got that wrong there now. You just lean too heavily into the vocabulary instead of asking about the meaning No, Craftfit is functional training, would you believe And it was made by the Navy SeLs years ago and then Reebok rebranded it as crossfit. Yeah And it's just functional training. So yesterday I did force, which is just weightlifting basically. Is there just a group of randoms and there's someone yelling at you You know, he doesn't yell. He didn't yell. His name is Tom. He just encourages you. and you're in a group, you go into pairs and you just have to do a series of exercises on different body parts and usually they focus on one muscle group every day. So yesterday I lifted heavy Had you ever met your wight' partner before? Yeah, it was my husband. Oh, okay. And and you hadt met him before. I knew him well, if you know what I mean Kyla, do you have to motivate him slightly? Do you have to be like, this is why your aunt doesn't ring you, you know, just while he's doing ch? No, no, he knows that's his personality.' That's just his whole outlook on life. If you're lifting heavy, me heavy isn'tavy. I mean, you could lift heavier than me, but I mean, I was doing front bar lunngges and stuff like that. and I mean, I love deadlifting but because I'm so tall squatting iss always going to be difficult because I'm just a lengthy woman Eight foot four. I'm eight foot four. That's why I've got tigers. I thought they were cats. Turns out they were just really far away. That is huge. That's why she has to lie down. Yeah. You stand up, you just hit the ceiling. Can't see me Do you set any PVs in this heavy weight lifting? No, no, I only just started. I'm just learning the movements andm just trying to do heavy lifting, That's it. Kyla, is there a motivational vibe to is there a sort of band of brothers slash sisters to Crossfit where you're all like So hold on, do it. Well, we're in London, so it's a little bit it's not like the American style. It's not as enthusiastic. There's like loud music and it's like it's ' I don't go out anymore to like clubs. So it's cool to go and like listen to some bangers Just get sweaty and feel good and then it's done in forty five minutes. I need to get back onto that. Yeah, bro. seriously. because also it' just elongates your life. I just want to be strong when I'm old. I just don't w want to be an old woman all fraay and I just want to be like a bit strong so I can still enjoy stuff. Power lifting as an eighty five year old. Yeah, or just like ting my shoelaces and sitting down the toilet and all. You know what I mean? I just want to be able to do like the basics I've always wondered in the gym, like the music is always so shit And like you can still lift weights to like acoustic classics. Like if you put Yeah extxtremes more than words on. Yeah, you could still lift heavily. You could lift in candle lightight if you wanted. Yeah. You pave the way. You put on your airPods, you bring your candles, to get weird. You do it. Yeah. Just not ac crossfit ' the whole point of Crossfit is like, yeah, let's go. But if on CrossFit, they put on Yeah Marvin Gay. Well, Marvin Gay is so funky. Okay. That's a great choice to song. Nora Jones for they put on Nora Cama away with me. I mean, I think it would bring down the vibe, but I think it would be reflective and probably kind of beautiful. So what I'm imagining here and when I open my gym, it's gonna to be Downton themed, okay. So just stirring string quartet music is playing. It's all candles. Yeah weights are on tea trays. L it's very mannered. You stand with incredible postity. Ta trays is in like metal or like bar trays because tea trays would be so hard to carry with a heavy weight I mean, a bar tray, I think we can carry. No one's got a bar tray in Downton. No in Downtown, no one ever comes in with like eight pints on a tray holding it above their heads. That's a really good idea for a gym. Why are you going call it U Jympton Abbey d Downtown upptown Abbey. You know, so thiss the downtown. TA training. TTT. Yeah with DOD. Thank you. TA training with David Ordaherardi. TTT with DOD. And it'll be like this. My Lord requests you Lift another five kilos, stuff like that. I all have hunched back. Would you, you know, because you're serving the big dinners in clos the closche, wouldould you have increasing weights of clotch like cloth? You're on the twenty five kilo closch It's a really dark c Yeah. It's like butler training, but extreme. Opening a really heavy door. We're gonna to stay silent because you're a butler. You can't make any noise. Move swiftly and quietly All right, so where are we off to after Crossfit. It's Breakfast time. So I go to Crossfit and then I come back and I finish Crossfit at ten thirty and I have a cab booked for eleven thirty to go into town Wow I'm like, I gotta get back. I gotta start out with the kiddies, I gotta have a shower. I gotta eat my breakfast and I gotta have another coffee. That was very tight hour. Do you have to moisturize again? No Just twice a day. Got it. Morning and night. After a sweet workout like that, what do you eat? You can eat whatever you want. You could have a massive bowl of crave. What's crave Brianie May Williams's daughter eats it. It's a little knockoff of a really sweet. It's quite a neat reference, isn't it? If you didn't listen to the episode that came out two days ago, what do you have for breakfast? You probably have like a sweet potato or something, do you? I have Greek yogurt, granola op fruit and honey. Wow. You're so healthy. This is incredible. It's so good, especially because it's watermelon season. Watermelon and honey. Oh my God, that texture where it's like sticky and wet. Oh, it's so fresh and tasty. I'm not sure about. I think watermelon is too watery in a yogurt. Now, Max, you gott to focus on the granola. The granola is probably the main ingredient. I think people go too hard on the fruit they It's all portions. You have to make sure even because I'm a big texture person. So you got to make sure it's not wet. You have to make sure it's nice and crunchy and seedy. and then The Greek yogurt is more of a mixing paste. Yeah R. You know, it's not dominating the bowl. It's not nothing's floating although in the supermarket, people do steer clear of Greek mixing paste for the title of it. The title of the yogurt. Yeah. Why? Greek mixing paste. I think that sounds GMP. I think that sounds very official and I'd be very into that. If they saw GMP at DOD TTT. Kyla, I have a question for you. as one of the healthiest people I know Yeah, you get the full Greek yogurt the ten percent, the five percent or the zero percent fat Greek yogurt. So what I get is I get the full Greek because this is going to blow your mind. Yeah. I think the microbiome in the full Greek yogurt is probably better for my gut health now. controversial. I think people will come back at me for that.. But I feel like there is no such thing as good fats. I'm not against fat. I just want my gut health to be. I want to be pooping regularly. I don't want to be bloated. I love it. I want to be comfortable. Yeah. Now in saying that if I get there and there's you know, a light one or a zero percent, I'm not fussy Got it Because to be honest lads, I don't even like Greek yogurt that much. I just like it. I know, but it's just very good for me and it's just nice with I love granola I'm a seed person. I love nuts and seeds. What's your granola of choice? You're gonna hate me for this. It's a ketto one. It's a very, very healthy Katamine. It's ketamine. Ketamine, Granola. That was deep in a cetole. That water amen and honey wasn't even real I was just all wet and sweaty and I was like, I'm watermelon the honey, and I'm on my cash. But it's not just it's ket oats and almonds and a few raisins. No, so it's just like it's what I have I have almond and coconut. So I have it's all like sunflower seed,s roasted almonds and roasted coconut But I don't have any of that shit you buy in the supermarket. I don't have any of that like really sugary stuff. I don't like that. Yesterday, I was getting a Coffee for my beloved the Helencopter And I definitely said O flat white And what came back was a coconut flat white. and it was like drinking a cup of Ambre Soler, factor fifteen. Yeah onene of the worst things I know so gross. I know. we put it in a bin and then as you should. I did feel bad putting in a bin, but yeah, it was just it wasn't getting any nicer. I gave it five drinks While you're, do you bring Mila and Klopsy together for the duration? Mila's not her name. It's Klopsy and Kapppo. Klopsy is the artist formerly known as Mila and then they cut her eye out and James her named her Exactly. Sorry, Capppo. We open the doors and we let them kind of be in each other's just exist together, basically. Yeah. Now I'm interested in you having a taxi book Beacause you know, notoriously London is a place, you know, you're better off getting on the tube on you carlars. So where are we going? Is someone putting this taxi on for you? No, so I booked it because I had to go into Oxford Circus. So what's it called again in that place where the big shopping center is. I' to go to shopping hate shoppingxford Street so much. And I have a wedding at the weekend and I need to get a dressed for the wedding. And I fucking hate shhopping and clothes and all that stuff. So I was like, I'm just gonna go in. I had an outfit prepared that it's easy to get changed in and out of. So I was like, I'm gonna to go in and I'm going gonna try on those addresses. I'm gonna to buy one and I'm gonna to leave. So it was like a mission. It was just made it easier in my head. It took me like thirty minutes in a cab and it would have taken me like an hour and a half by transport. Did you leave the cab running and just went in? No, it's not America's N stop model. N that loaded I getting a ked a granola. It's cost me a fortune. I gotta sayve when I can. In my vision of this Max, Kyla Fella is so the cab's running and he's just got this increasingly high tower of boxes he's holding in his hands. So I left him I left him at home. Okay ye Yeah, I don't like shopping. I don't want someone there with me trying to distract me And also when I try something on, then someone's like, don't buy the first thing you try on so then you listen to them. And I was like where I know what I like and I don't want to be talked out about it. Doid you chat to a taxi driver or are you sit in silence for the half an hour? On the way in, I didn't, but on the way back I had the most beautiful I had two beautiful interactions yesterday. Oh wow. Really nice. Hold them while we buy the dress Where are we going Selfidges. so Kyla, there's loads of dresses on the internet. There's over a thousand dresses. Yeah. yet you need to put it on to see if it's right in a mirror. I'm very tall, Dahi. I'm much taller than the average woman. We've been through this eight for four. to get to a special shock. I'm eight fo four. Did you take this down a little bit? Could you curtain sh Three meter curtains in a tooga. I carry a lightning bolt. Am I a Greek Godd? I don't know. you tell me So first one you try on. What are you thinking? Is it a big sort of Dabs vibe to it? Has it got a fish tail? No, no, it's just like a long Lovely long dress.ike a lovely butter yellow long dress. Are we in selfridges? Where are we? We're in Slfridges. What a guess.'sQuite intimidating. It's intimidating. Well you know, it's not for me because I worked in fashion in Milan and I know without all those gangs. Did you? Yeah I did years ago. If I lived in Milan for like seven years and I worked in fashion for a while. I've been in like the big selfidges and I've worked in those places. I know Okay, lift the lid. It's all bullshit, isn't it? just put everyone in tractic trousers. You know what, Max? genenuinely, it is. Genuinely, it's such cock. Sut bullshit. What way is it such cock then is its very superficious, exactly what it says in the tin. It's very superficial.. Like you might have two leather bags, same cow, same leather, same treatment, and then you put two different logos on it and one costs twenty grand and the other costs one thousand. Now not always. I mean, there is fashion houses that are incredible, you know what I mean? Like Our Mani is a beautiful fashion house Valentinaars a beautiful fashion houseike There there is true artists left in the industry, but a lot of it is just dog shit. I would like it if when you buy the bag it shows you the picture of the cow it came from. I used to work with leather and women used to come in and be like, it's changeed shape and I'm like, well it's skin Oh, don't say that. But it is skin. That's a sign of a good leather bag. It's gonna to move.'s like when you buy leather shoes, you dont want big rigid shoes your whole life. It sounds like the sort of customer services that people would expect in high end m. It's fucking skin. It's fucking skin Get me my Greek mixing paste.'s a question. If you know it's bullshit, why are you in Slfridgees? you know, surely you're in the know. you go down to Well because there's still some beautiful brands. like s And also, what's wrong with bullshit? You know what I mean? We live in a lot of bullshit If we were living the way we should be living, we'd be living seasonally off land. like it's all bullshit. M might as well you got to eat it sometimes. Here's a quiz DOD. We have to both guess which number dress is the dress Oh yeah, this is good. I say dress three. what do you say? The initial two are nice, but in Kyla's head is the don't pick the first one then she leaves it too far. So it's actually dress tenan is the one. Okay Talk us through the dresses I tried on the first dress and I loved it Can't have it though. Can't have it. Listen to Mary, my mom, in my head. It's just skin. It's just skin. And then I tried on like literally about ten more dresses and then I went back and bought the first one DOD, you know me. You read me like a book, David. You read me like a book. Tell us what it's like. It's very normal. It's just nice,'s a long yo dress, kind of like Gcretan kind of, it's like a high kind of collar long. It's lovely. It's very basic. Does it have loads of smiley faces on it? Yeah, it's just acid tabs house. Just acid tabs all over. I like the Pope, the poke smoke dope is written on the back of Juicy on my earth Right so then we're back in the taxi. We shoes. We need shoes at match. I know about. I already have shoes at home. Yeah, Carl's got a lot of shoes. I bought one pair of gold heels about four years ago and I've worn them ever since. What about a hat? No, I'm not the mother of the bride What about a fascinating flower that attaches to your bicep Too many tattoos. What is the fascinator? It's like a little mosquito net slash coffee filter gaue that you put in your head. I mean, it kind of is. you kind of c. It's like chicken wire. It's like what you make in school. It's like what your four year old is making our cl. yeah. I give it I might give it. Do we need a bag that matches the No, I don't need a bag. You're trying to upsell, David. she's not upselling. You're trying to upsell. It's not my arena. not I'm not a cloth. I don't care about that. I just can't be ph. I just need make simple easy. Weddings are tricky for me. I have to wear a suit I didn't look like the accused, you know So now we have our lovely interaction with the Dorry Oh God. ye, sorry. Let's both try and guess How much this cost? Oh yeah, good. okay. I'll go first this time. Selfag isn't cheap. But There's no way Kylo would just be drawn to something for a grand. So I'm gonna say two hundred and eighty pounds. 'ause in my mind I had two hundred and eighty pounds. K Ding me, me, me, me, me to have two. This is great. David, are you my soul mate? What is this? two hundred and eighty pounds. I've planted a chip in Copsy and I've been getting fed a lot of information through the other eye. I am the kitten David, you now have to guess What the name of the taxi driver if we have that I didn't go straight to the taxi lance. what happen.orry I went to the Apple store. I had to buy a new phone. Wow! Okay. What happened to the other one? The other one just stopped bloody working. So fucking anning, isn't it? Is it not withith a phone company so that you could be like I just buy them. They're so expensive, Kyla But I have money put away for work, things like that because it's for work. so I have it in my business acc. The Apple story is interesting, isn't it? So somebody who's about eight years old has an iPad and they meet you at the front in a blue polo shirt. you' put on a waitingist. Because you want to buy a phone, Do you get sort of fast tracked? How long are you waiting there? So I go up and I ask I'm like, hey, can I just need to buy a new iPhone And he was like, allright, brother,'ll put you in the Eress checkout. And I was like, o my gnd. So then I went up to the express checkout and then the guy was rude to me. He was so mean to me. If you're listening, you fucking little prick. I was like, I always want to buy like an Phone He's like, yeah, what iPh And I was like, I don't know, like the newer one. What's the new number? Like seventeen? He's like, Yeah, well there's seventeen there's pro in this max. Yeah. And I's like, Yeahah, but like just give me the one that I need but the most storage because I do like content and stuff. And he's like, you know this is the express checkout And I was like, Well, I didn't ask to be put here. I came in to get a phone. So then he put me on the normal list. So that was a bad interaction. I was not impressed with that. Hang on the Express checkout is not a place for chat. It's just a place for I want. I mean, zero chat, not even a hello ero chat. You need to know everything if you want that. And then I got put in the other checkout and then he kind of backtracked then they expected me to bite back When I was like, the other fellllow put me here, I didn't come here. and then he was like, I'll just make you by the flow a pot. And I was like, fucking we' making we by the Fowpot beach And it went to the flower pot and is when I had the lovely reaction. So I was sitting at the flower pot and wearing shs and this really old lady with white gloves on just to give you an idea what a legend she was. I say she's got one hundred and sevenh. And she like waded up to me and she was like, I have to say, legs out is very nice. It looks like you and she was like, I don't like tattoos myself, but I must say I like your tattoos And I was like o Oh my go God, thank you so much. And I was like well, atast you can appreciate the Irish. And she was like, you know, I bought a sixteen E and I'm a master of language. I studied in Portugal. and nobody knows what E stands for. Turns out it's economical. What a load of bullshit. And she just had this absolute rigmar roll of conversation with me. She was great crack. She was lovely She was Portuguese. Yeah, so nice. The white gloves. I mean, I like it as a look, but it makes me think Snooker referee. She's a snooker referee. It was Mikaela Tab. Although it's very rare that a snooker referee is really verbose and shouting. Isn't it? You know, Yeah. And another thing, John Parrot, let me tell you, John Carrot. She was shouting. She was shouting. And she had bought her phone from this other guy there like two years ago when she was trying to find him and she was like to the My guy was Carl Kane, the guy that was helping me. and she was like to Cane, she was like, He's a big tall Jamaican man, Balding. a balding Jamaican man.ave you seen him I was cracking off, I was like, Well, I love you. You're a fucking legend. She is so cute. So you've been sent to wait by the flower pot, which is great. That are Steve Jobs last words. wait by the flower pot. Is Kane the man Is he a new man that comes to help or the sl gu? Yeah, he's lovely. We love Cane, okay. But normally in the Apple shop, I mean, they're trained to be nice, aren't they? Yeah, they are. He was really nice to me and he was just like, yeah, like chatting away to me about everything and telling me the different things, and then I ended up getting the seventeen I just told him, look, I just need, I'm on airplanes a lot. I do a lot of content. I have a lot of downloads. so I just need it to be like a mini computer. Like I use it a lot for work. Yeah. So he was like, look, you can get the pro for like this much more, but unless you care about the camera, I was like I just make videos because I don't really need think for pictures or anything. You don't want the Max because the max is too big to fit in your pocket. Yeahah, it's big. So the pro just has a slightly better camera on it. Be yeah, I got a new phone recently and I bought one and then immediately found that I'd forgotten to ask for the one with the larger memory so that my phone was perpetually saying it was full. It's so fucking annoying. Helen just said to me, you could actually trade it in if you've only had it for a couple of weeks because she saw that most of my life was be making these agonizing decisions of which Oh my photos of dead people I was gonna have to delete from my phone Yes Arafat. Gott to get rid of Yes Arafat. It's been too long now. Okay, so we have the nice interraction. We get our new phone. Now what's happening? Sorry, tech pointoint just to interrupt Dav. The old phone's dying or possibly dead. Yeah. Did you back it up onto your computer or a cloud? Will you be able to put its whole brain onto the new one What you do with the iPhonees? That's why need you to email me. What you do is you put them together head to head and it just transfers. It's really exciting, isn't it? You know what? It's just easy. It's so easy. and I love that. I love a frictionless life. Maybe you could try with the cats if you just got the two cats together. That's actually genius a transfer for what the otheres po Klopsy would just keel over then, or at least you put Klopsy in a drawer and offer him to friends in the future, but no one wants it. I know, can you imagine?' give it to an open micer. You can use that if you want Here's the one I passed I remember when I was starting off, you use that, you take it It's got no charge of them. You have to buy a charge. There are a few adverts where they you know they say your old one eyed cat could be really useful for someone less fortunate than you. Please donate. It's just taking up space in your house. Donate your one eyed cat. We've done the phone. Now are we getting in the taxi So I walk out of the Apple shop in Region Street and then I just like get in a taxi. I just like flag one down and I'm like, let's just go. So I get in a taxi. Taxi That's what taxi.. Yeah. He stopped and I got in. and at the beginning there was no chat because I was just making phone calls and like telling Simone I was on my way home and ringing my mom, my sister and stuff to getting the phone calls done for the day then Tward the end of it, he made a comment about the traffic and I was like,ah, I was like, it's pretty narly, isn't it? He's,es, b And then I don't know how we started chatting, but we started talking about we startedking Ireland. He's like, you' Irish and I was like ye, I' Irish. And then he was like L my friends are Irish And I was like, look at you. And then he was telling me about this guy called John Eaggan who was a retired London, Kabby, who lives in Skiborine in West Cork. And I was like, well, my mom lives in Sibberne. And then I tested mom being like, you know John Eaggan, a retired Cabby from London? And she was like, No, who is he? And I was like, No, it doesn't matter. Can you bring me coffee I love you. and sorry, my husband just passed. Hell, willill you raate me coffee? Hell! She's not worried. We just toopped his head in so her just quickly was like Cfe, please. And then we were having the chat and then he started talking He's like, what's the immigrant situation like in Ireland? And you know what?'s so funny. I've been stuck in those situations before. I'm not trying to like whatever about taxi men, but it has happened frequently in taxis. Sometimes I just don't say the right thing because I'm like, I don't want to like cause. And then I was like, making a pack to myself. I was like, I'm gonna really try and like have a conversation instead of just being like, yeah, whatever. I was like, you know what I think if the word is lacking? I was like just lacking a bit of kindness And I was like, because you know, it's just the right wing has come in. And I said, And what's really the problem is the government are all fucking us all over and we're fighting each other. And the more we fight, the less progress we make. And even the words we say and I said to him, I goes, because you know, the words we speak are the house we live in and we have to be careful about because like religious stuff on his things. I was like, he's obviously a Christian So I was like, you know, it's like prayer and affirmation. And then he was, you know what That's really inspiring. And I say Good. And then he said Fuck stop the bos. We actually had like an honest conversation where he said his piece and he was like, you know, but they come in, they stay together and I was like, Well sure, that's so normal. Yeah. you would stay like if you move, I would move with Irish people. And I was like, it's normal. I was like, you have to give grace for an adjustment period. It's never going to just happen and that everyone gets on and everyone's culture matches. I was like, And then he was saying 'cause he was a black man and he was like, all my friends are Irish. And I was like, well, because when the Irish came over, they went to that neighborhood and And I was like, a lot of the time it was the bllack people and Irish people living together And when you look back only sixty years ago and there was English people, there's like, you know, those recordings of them being talking about the Irish being like, oh, they're animals and oh they're this, you know? And I was like, ' that was an adjustment period. and we fear. you know, So I had a really, really beautiful. His name was Colin and it was a lovely conversation. and a very we didn't agree on everything, but I was able to talk to him and that's what I'm trying to do now with politics. because I think being online good for you. Beuse being online is hard becausecause you're afraid of fucking up. I love you so much on're absolly Yeah, like often At the moment when you do need to call shit out, you just can't be asked, right? Yeah you're just like I just don't want to like have to like fight someone on something that I fundamentally believe in because it's like hard not to get defensive. Yeah. My husband is from South Africa and we are in South Africa there's this big mural of Neton Mandela and it said True growth is through communication and kindness. So like it's easy to agree with people who agree with you, but it's growth comes from like having conversations with people that disagree with you. and trying to find like you know, a common ground and learning that two things can be true at the one time. Like it, you know, it's okay to be afraid of things that we weren unaware of, but then you also must be able to speak what you actually believe in in a gentle way to be able to create even a littleittle inch of change. No so. But he was so cute about and I was like, I made turn a time. I was like, that's like a Persian prorophet that said that that's not my words. I thought it was roomy, but it's not So I said that, yeah, the words we speak at the house we live in and he was like, I've got goose bumps. And then I was like, I've got goose bumps It was really lovely and I was like, o, it was just so like because I found myself once and under when I moved here in a taxi and he was being really horrible. and I didn't say anything and I think about it all the time. But I was just like in the cab and I was on my own and I was like, I just didn't feel like I kind of could or something. and it comes into my head at nightime and I'm like, I wish I just like sort of I wish I just said the right thing and I didn't say anything. I felt a bit complicit So I'm glad yesterday I like used my voice. It's those At the moment, I'm obsessed with those contradictions. like so there's a crap far right in Ireland that is repeatedly not doing well every time there's an election, they do badly. But there's a thing in the paper today about, oh, someone was at a rem migration conference And just being Irish and talking about rem migration, it's so bleak, but also hilarious in this. So if America said we're gonna remigrate all the Irish people, that would be forty eight million people moving back here. You know? and that is too many people think' a housing crising now. Yeah. Wait till the twenty eight million British people all are forced to move back here as well. It's such a delicate time, isn't it? Oh It's so sticky and weird. Yeah Yeah, I'd never move away and I don't think there should be any immigration from anywhere Max is in Australia in a shirt. Right. so we've had this wonderful experience. We've got a goosebumps and we come back into the house. We come back into the house and then we have one hour before we have to go and you know Victoria Angeloni Yeah, we've he of a bunk on this podcast on this podcast. Well I heard about that because it was his thirtieth surprise party ight So we had to get to the pub before Victoria got to the pub to do a big surprise for him Now keep in mind I was in Selfridge' looking for a dress. so I didn't drink any water and I'm an avid water drinker, but I'm also hereer. And trying to get to the toilet in Selfridge is like the hunger game. So I was like, I need to water, get this dress, get home and piss at home. so I didn't drink any water. So I get in at this point and I'm like after having a religious experience with Colin and I'm like Get me some fucking aqua. so I hydrate. We make a really quick tuna salad with some boiled eggs And then I'm like, we gotta go vabe. so we just make our way over to Finsery Park. What is the lie that's been told to Vittorio? It's just like we're going for a quiet drink in the pub kind of a thing. His girlfriend and Mike Rice put a group together and I think it was basically him becausecause he just got back from tour like the day before yesterday, which for me It's a different podcast That is a different podcast. You just got back from Tour yesterday as opposed to what did you do yes? The day before yesterday is not a podcast we like to promote in this No, no, that's the podcast. We're going to say Archge Nemesis for getting close to that.. What are you going do tomorrow? An What you up to later, of course. Oh, okay, so they've set up a group. This is exciting They set up a group and I'm like in my head, I'm thinking, if I got back from Tour and I was made to socialize with all my friends, I think I would jump off a bridge. So I'm like, this is a bold move for Iizzy. but she knows him. That's our partner. Mike Gryce is a huge instigator of it all as well. We're organizing it. So they put a group together. He's on his way home. They change the group to Vinny's dog walking, very smart move in case a message pops up O so smart. This's no fool. Let's just put it that way So we organizeed the pub to be there at seven o'clock We get there in time and then we're all up on the third level of the beer gard, reallyally cool pub called the Fall backack Fall. Faltering fallback. Yeah. Yeah. I used to know time. End of Perth Road. Yeah. It's such a vibe, isn't it? In the early two thousands at least, it did Thai food. Yeah, the Thai food. So you go into this pub dai and it's full of brits and lads and then they walk out with pad Thai that smells incredible. I like well This is very non collaborative in my mind. And I was like and they say that's right wing in England. Come on, we're crushing it. Kyla, this happens so often where Max He's like, you know, when James Joyce left Dublin and he's living in Zurich or wherever. He once asked someone to count the number of steps to get from somewhere to somewhere else because he was having a memory I want to put it in a short story. Max is like that the whole time with his love of these pubs, the Thai food' great pub. I have to say you do pubs well Yes. It's corack. It's true It'sack.Question, which is It's seven o'clock. feel like we've lost some of the afternoon. Well, I was in seress for hours. Oh yeah, ten dresses. That's a lot of changes, isn't it? That's a lot of changes. And I had lace up shoes on. I did tie my laces ten times extra in a day. Did you have to keep putting the shoes back on?ck I couldn't wear with my runnerers because I wear barefoot shoes, my barefo shoe are wearer. So you can only imagine how ridiculous that would look with my nice dress. Yeah, of course. So you couldn't just leave the shoes on, sorry, and just keep taking Just be barefoot Yeah, but I still have to take the shoes off and put them back on again. Well, they just be barefoot for the whole process of Oh, you know selfges. they throw me out. I could just walk around barefoot being like, I'm saving time. I see. Now in my mind, I see you would just like get the ten dresses and go through them, but you were putting one on. I was on different floors, I was visiting different brands. Yeah. Okay ye here's what I've invented It's a device. it's called twenty seven dresses, which I realize is already the name of a film. So there's going to be some legal troubles. I'll change it right now It's called twenty six dresses.. And it's a machine with twenty six dresses on a circular kind of device above your head. eachach one's in a separate one. Okay, it hoovers off the last dress. You just stand underneath. It goes like hoovers off the last one and just drops the next one onto you and you look at it in a mirror. We can call it the mila. It's called the mila. Rest in peace. Don't get name Tapo Klopsy. Clopsy isake. I'm sorry. It's so confusing. Is the Hoover clever enough that it never leaves you fully naked So it won't hoover off great the pants and the bra. This's like Dragonss D end. That was a great question. Yeah. E meen doesn't want to be naked in the shop. So she wants to be sure that when you hoover off the dress She is still in her drawers and halls. A lot of the dresses I tried on had makeup and fake han on them, new dresses. So people are ob taking off the dresses and getting all their makeup on it So hang on, it could have a car wasash feature for It's got a car wasash feature in it. People don't want to be stripped of their makeup and fake tan when they're trying on dresses. A lot of people put on their makeup and fake tan to try on the dress so to get the full effect. We've talk about this and that's why It photographs you at the start and then at the end, it puts it re applies that on. But also hang on, if you're worried about your undies coming off, if you think about the actual physics of it, it's impossible to hoover undies off Deborah Maden sorry, I'll rephrase it. Debor Meaden doesn't want her bra hoored off and she doesn't want a massive wedgie. She doesn't matter O or to be cut in half by her own underpants I think Deborah says it's a lifestyle business, but it's not for me. I'm out But you really want Peter Jones on this Here's what I want. I believe we've caught up now properly. So you're all hiding Are you hiding in shrubbery or in an area?' hiding So on the third floor and Max can confirm this. there's a very maaze like beer garden of the back. It's a very deceiving pub ' you walk to it and it is very attractive outside because this' Ivy. I love Ivy. I find it very romantic and mystical. So it's Ivy on the outside of the pub and you're thinking, oh, this looks cool. And then you go in, it's like a normal tavern. but then you go out the back and there's a big seating area where they were doing a quiz. I love quizzes. And then you go outside and there's like It's like an outdoor beer garden, but it's like they're all separate kind of maxs, would you agree? They're like I never got beyond the big Outdoor barn tavern bit I've never been to this Narniapart. This is not my question. What I want to know is This create a visual, a vivid visual for you. Painting pictures with words. So how does that happen when Victoria walks in. Okay. so third level of the beer garden. Mike Rice at this point, I'm not going to lie. he's panicked but he wants to make sure after all his hard work that the surprise goes through We guess all of us keep in mind there's about I'm so bad at this amounts of people and stuff like that. Three thousand. Like you could literally tell me that and I believe you, I'm so bad at this kind of stuff. There's loads of us, like maybe twenty. Yeah. But we can help with this. We can narrow it down a bit. I mean, because it's clearly. you could look at the WhatsApp group now and see how many people are in it. My phone is downstairs. So there was me, Simon John Robbie. Christopher, Mickeel, Patrick These the most Irish soundic people Dad Finton. One of them were Irish apart from John and. Id say there was like thirty people. Okay, this is good. Okaykay. thirty to ninety thirty ' I Kyla, Ls of people. I've never had one of these done to me and I don't think I'd love it to be honest. No I'd kill myself. I involved a friend in it once and he was really depressed because no one want to hang out with them that night So we went through the whole day ringing people being like, do you want to go for a drink later? And everyone's like, nah, sorry can't because they were all going to the surprise party. Oh my God. Has this happened with him? Does he seem happy or does he seem overwhelmed? Well, we all hide in a corner, Izzy brings them upstairs and we all jump out and surprise and he was so surprised He was so surprised. It was so funny. And Victoria was not a like shy man, but he looked at' shy and overwhelmed And he's like, oh my God, then we all hugged him and all sat down. That's a lot of hugging for. He's got to hug thirty to ninety people.ty to ninety people. And maybe a few people snuck in for a hug that weren't even in the gathering, I don't know. Al bit. There's those creeps out there. I don't know Yeah, it was really lovely. And at the same time there was like Dinks coming Oh and they got a magician. What? The greatreat Spreno. Call Pete Hey, cllose up card magic or whatever. Close up card magic. disappearing ring magic. It was incredible. Greg is incredible. I think that's odd for a surprise birthday party. but know know Max now, you have to just take a step back from what you're looking at because if you think about it, it's a gathering of thirty to ninety people that don't all know each other and sometimes having a thing to focus on That's like youove Pretty neurveidiirgin people and like weird os. It's nice to have like a thing where you can be like, oh, look, we have this common ground of being mystified by magic. like that's nice.. It's a conversation starter. Pete was also about six foot seven, which was very interesting. He's a spe being of a man. You're looking down on Pete eight foot four.oo up. I was like, make me disappear Let's go Let's see what kind of magician you really are. Sw me into thirds. G on then. Yeah. Yeah, I probably didn't need to ask, wasas it a close up magic? Imagine if you'd book like a copperfield type one and his whole thing is look out the window. Big Ben is gone. People have been like, what? I can't see it anyway You know what, though? it was fucking cool. And I have something in me that doesn't like magicians and I don't know what it because when I start a comedy, someone just like one person randomly told me comedians don't like magicians. I was like, oh yeah, I don't like magicians. But they're amazing. 'cause I know it's not real, but how do they do it? A friend of my phrase is like, it doesn't like it becausecause it's like, oh, we're in a magic circle, and we're not gonna to tell you We know how this is done, but we're not going tell you how it is done. And Ive sort of I've carried that with me. But at the same time, you're right. Dynamo came on a TV show I was hosting it and he did these things that were just like He'd had to go into the studio for half an hour. we weren't allowed in before the show happened. So that's where they set everything up. But in the moment, you're like, how have you done that? Do you think with magic there's a such thing as natural talent? Oh, well this charisma of Committing to the bit. likeike you know, people who are good with kids are generally capable of fully engaging with the game of cars or whatever you're playing. I think similarly with magic, if any part of you is just sort of messing, then it exposes the conceize. you have to be like I am in the year three thousand, my thirty eight times great grandfather was taught this trick. You know what I mean? And you have to be like, oh my God, you know Can you do magic, Dave? People often say about my comedy that it is a form of magic I guess if there wasn't talent All of us would be equally good at it. Do you know what mean? Well, that's not the case because you can work really hard at something and could work hard at something, but then you might just be better than someone else. Yeah, I mean, there's definitely talent in professional cricket, right? This is going to be one of those things where like the magicians are gonna come for us, bro. I did a thing about Celiacs and it was probably the most roll I ever got and I regret it. So it's those groups of people that you think are calm and like tender and then they come at you like a fucking ton of fricks So I just want to put out there, I love magic. Fuck Frasier, he doesn't know what he's talking about. Wow. I would say though, I've written columns about you know human rights abusing countries and you know, sexual and domestic violence. but if you write about the vaccine, Watch out. I'm telling people get Oh my God. It's like we're so out of control because of the capitalist system that we cling on to the most random shit and you're like, this is my passattern. and you're like, No, it's not. You're just unhappy. I have a magic trick. so here we go. No, no, no, I can't do it now But It's one that I've been able to do for years that involves a deck of cards, me forcing you to pick three cards. And then the big ending of it is cards, two on the top one on the bottom and I sort of flick my hand and all the cards fall out and I'm holding the three. And then I walk away, it's normally what I do, just because theseese magical gifts that I have are almost too powerful. I mean, I get that. Yeah, Thankk you. Ian, my four year old, he does magic with my parents on Zoom.our four year old called Ian. He is for the tape, of course, I. I was like, whyy did you give him a grown up mie? So Ian, on Zoom with my parents who are in Cambridge, I will say, We're gonna send you a spoon. So I do a spoon through the laptop, one, two, three, and I make the spoon disappear and then my dad has a spoon. It is really cute. Sometimes like the Zoom is set up and my parents can't be fucked to get off the sofa. So I'll send a spoon and they'll just have their mobile phone. I' be like, whoa, the magic's gone. I'm like, G guys, You turn the spoon into a mob ph. Yeah. You should have gone to the Apple store with just a spoon like get a seventeen pro We are there. It's a disparate group, but through the use of magic, you all become firm friends. Yeah, well, not friends, but I guess there's a flow conversation that feels natural and organic. Great is what you want in a social setting. You're not looking for friends. You're just looking for flow. You don't w want to feel awkward. So it was just a nice organic conversation between everyone. Everyone was there to celebrate Victoria Victoria was very happy, I think. Mike was really happy about organizing it well And then we stayed until nine o'clock and then we were like, right, let's get out of here H did Victorio do a little speech? Victorio did a very cute speech where it just didn't even seem like Victorio. He was like looked a little bit like humbled and like nervous and he was like, ye, I just want to say thanks to everyone. all my favorite people are here. it was actually very genuine It's lovely Oh, that is so nice. So sometimes you know, when you're like at this age too and you're like, I dont want to leave my house. and then in London everything takes ages and I was like, o fuck sick and then and then you do it and you're like, I'm so glad I did it. It sounds like another moment of genuine human connection. like you had with white gloves with Colin and now with Vittorio at the magician partarty And that's my favorite thing about the day because that's what I miss so much about being in like a wait dress because I don't get to talk to anyone as a comedian anymore. I used to spend my day chatting to tiny little talks with everyone, just being like, What's a crack? and I have at bit a crack Whereas now I have to like hunt them down so I can get a bit of social. Are you the first people to leave at nine or No, well, there was Micy and Patrick, you know them? comedians. Mickey iss a lady from Holland and Patrick, I I remember Patrick or something. They're pregnant So they had the Thai food and left. So they crushed it. Yeah. So they left before us and then me and Simon on the way home in the cab, Simon was like, when we get Thai food from Holy Thai? And I was like Let's do it baby. So you were inspired. We were Hungry and inspired. What. Yeah. Is that not a dinner though with the boiled eggs and the tuna earlier? No, that was kind of ' I hadn'taten any lunch. That was just like a thing to not eat shit because you know, sometimes when you're choosing between eating a healthy whole food thing or you're on the road and you just go to prept and get a rap and I was like If I eat any of that kind of stuff, I just get so my belly gets sose. I was like, I just want to eat like something healthy quickly and then I'll commit to like a nice dinner. Right. I just got back from Torah and you was like you're like eating in airports and standing up on planes and I was like, I just want to like sit down and eat my fucking food. So it was just like a quick stepping stone between a meal. So then on the way back in the cab, Simon was like, let's get Thai food. And I was like, oh my go we haven't had a takeaway since I got back from Sydney like nine days ago. So I was like, oh my go whatd you get? Yeah, what'd you get? We got holy Thai. We got penging curry. how you say it Penening? Penang Pening. I just started eating spicy food since I'm at Simon, so I'm still getting used to the words peng ning curry and then we got pad Thai obs and then I love fried rice. so we always get fried rice. Do you pick it up on the way home or do you get it delivered as you're getting home? We ordered it at the same time and then the delivery driver was on, got there before us and that for me, I was mortified. I was like, my God I was like, S in. So I texted him and Iave him the code to the front door, which I probably shouldn't have. And I was like just leave at the letter box. still there now. He's still there now, lovely guy. He's here with me. I had washed the floor, so I' lifted the bed. so we brought the bed back down. And then we were just before eating, Capo ran in and pissed on the duvet U Do they betterar than mattress? I would say Wait, you're not eating Thai food in bed, are you? No, we're eating Yeah I love eating in bed. and I know that look, I'm going red. I know there's gonna to be people that will come at me. I love eating in bed. and I won't have anyone have anything say bad against me. And you know why Lads? I've always lived in studio apartments and all I ever had was a bed. I did everything on my bed. So I was like, let's make up the bed. Also, having the bed in the living room is so fun because it's like a fort or something. It's like a sleepover, right? It's like a sleepover. Yeah like, let's bring the bed down, make the bed Put the projector on and eat the curry in the bed and watch something. Yes it's good. So you get in with a takeaway and there is a kitchen table, but you get a bed from upstairs, the mattress, presumably just the mattress and bring it downstairs. theattress tooper. And the cats are running around and we're having this lovely moment where I'm like, Oh got, look at them and then Capy's on the couch. and then Capper runs up on the fucking fresh duvet And I see him doing the movements and I'm like, he's not gonna to piss, is he And Simam wass like, o no, dad I think he's going to piss. And I'm like, I think he might piss. And then Sim's like, o my go, he's pissing. And I was like, he's pissing. And then we lift him up and all the piss is everywhere. Oh, it's so annoying. you started eating yet or have you got to action the duvet? or can you just throw the duvet into another room and eat first? No, I had to get the duvet. I couldn't eat with the pissy because you can get out really quickly with a dam claw. cat piss does stink An piss stinks. D don't say it about cats. Pisses piss. Cat piss is worse than human piss I love this podcast. I really love this podcast No, I think if we pissed openly like they did, it would smell disgusting as well. Not mine. My granny lived in like a it was like a Your granny's piss smelled terrible, did it? Well, my granny lived in like an old person's home and when you'd walk in you'dell we blessed them. Oh And like it would smell like fucking piss bro. Yeah, but if you went to an old cat's home, that smell of piss would be so much. I know, but like I feel like it would be equally gross. I don't think you'd be like Is that Capis? I think I'll take old Lady piss, but Capis, that's where the line is drawn. Capo is like we are, we have to go this is in eight years time. We have to go and visit Clopsy and the old Cato, brring in some Thai food. But at this point so I had smoked a little bit of weed as well. So I was like ready for my Thai food. I was like this is gonna be Little bit high, little bit of Thai food, the kittens, my lovely husband, I was like, this is gonna be at the projector. It started to rain. I was like, oh my God, this is the perfect night in. And then Capo just comes over to this tiny little Willy and pisses everywhere. I was like, Oh God,' so annoying. Do you feel though that Klopsy will have a word, you know, just like we are here out of that goodwill to them. If we keep this up, the two of us are going to be in the pissy atz home. Well, we did research and apparently, because he's only he's only born on the twenty fifth of Fbruary, because he's such a baby Claude was like, listen He's just a wee fella. There was nothing in him that was like, I'm gonna do this now to fuck with them. Okay, ye. He just doesn't know where to piss. Yeah, he's a wee fella, not a wee fella. There we go. Do you put the duvet straight in the washing machine and just put it in motion? I take off the cover and then I put it in motion, but I can't wash the duvet. So I put white vinegar and baking soda, and then I scrub it with a damp cloth and then I just dry it But we got him, we managed to lift him before he like really set his scent into the duvet. So where's he pissing then when are you're lifting him Just everywhere it's on the ground. but I don't care about that. But the ground is fine. You can clean the ground. It's the fabric stuff. you're like, a for fuck's sake. Yeah. So then this morning, I just said brring the bed back up. I was like, I can't, 'use he tried do it again and I was like, I'm gonna fucking murder the cat. A shit. What movie did you put on just to bring this back to myice? We've been watching Apex, but it's been fucking hard to watch, isn't it? I mean, once that have you watched Apex I have not watched it. I'm still on death in paradise sort of season I don't know what that is. It's to show for old people from I know about Apex, but I imagine they're different.' what I'm suspecting. What happens in at Kyla? Apex, Charlie Sone is in Australia wanting to honor her dead husband. She's a climber and he died in a climate her. She's going to do this like climb and then she gets hunted by and Australian local. But the thing is that there's one scene we's got to speak Gernie att the end of this song, you've As much time as this song ls, you have to get away from me. And then this bit's dancing and he's got a crossball and this bit goes, Oh and then you know it's not a test. And then he goes And it's like the best scene I've ever seen. But after that, I think it peaks there because it's really sh. I'd hope that he put on a really long song. How cool is that? We were saying we would do it with the cats and get a budgie and be like to the budgie. you have to le out this song to get it far away from the cats. Please be Hotel California. Yeah come put hey Jude on. Now I put on song two by Blur. It's a minute long. Oh no Deeply dippy. shit two minutes ready, he someone else has watched that? Who came on and watched that. You should just watch that scene because there's loads of people doing spoofsve about it now online and they're actually really funny. It's like just one of those little cultural it's not cultural, but it's just like cinematic but it's very funny. movie, I think the movie iss pretty bleak. Can you enjoy it? Is the smell completely gone The ammonia. The smell never even hit us. The smell is gone. we're enjoying it and then I say to Simon, I'm like Again, little bit high and I'm like, you know, I'd love to watch them something funny. So we put on the campaign Will Ferrell and I've seen that. The guy from Ted Lasso. Yeah God. And Zach Caliph ask this. So Yeah. And I don't know how we never seen it because I think I've watched like all of Will Ferrell' stuff. likeike that was my I didn't watch stand upp. I watched like all that like spoof movies and chat shows and stuff. That was more of my comedy introduction. So I love all that stuff. but Oh my go, the giggles we had l's. It's brilliant Zach Alfig Nakas is a genius, I think. So Kyla the year is two thousand three And the child, David O'dahy is doing one of his first ever Kill Kenny, Cat Laps comedy Festivals. And I was driving to Ale Island afterwards And I just got talking to one of the Americans who was doing this festival. Zach Galafinakis and I sa you want to come to Acle Island And we drove, I mean, it's about a five hour drive across the country in a Fiaticento, a tiny little car that was so small that we barely fitted in it And we had one of the funnest knivs ever You know, I honestly think DOD that that would be my dinner party. you know, the dead personal life person dinner party Yeah you and GZalaanakas in Aal Island. How lucky are you What was he? Was he in the cat laugh? It was doing that festival. By then it was before the hangover or even any of his other weird st comedy stuff from before that. He was best known from a drama show on Fox in America called True Calling where he played a doctor and we hung out for a couple of days. We unsuccessfully fished for mackerel. We drank pints in the pub. And then I said, I'm going back to Dublin. go back and he said, I've always wanted to hitchhike across Ireland And I said, okay, fine, do that. Do you want to stay with me in my bedsit on a pull out couch And he said, No, I'm quite rich. I'm in this really bad TV show in America. I'm gonna just hitchhike across and stay in the parshest hotel in Dublin. And I remember thinking, that's a pretty cool life to have. West Bury. Yeah, exactly. Yeah also you know what' sick about it? just like randomly happened? It did. Like that is So cool. He I would love to meet him I'm so happy for you that you got to do that. That's so safe. Thank you. However, we've changed this into what did I do in two thousand three years ago? Itounds catching. I mean, whatever. a good story is a good story. That is amazing. Do we watch the whole of the campaign? No, no, no, I f asleep, I f asep. Is the mattress topper enough to sleep on That's all you've taken downstairs. Sorry, the mattress topper is the mattress or it's not the mattress. No, the mattress topper is, I'm not trying to be sarcastic, it's literally a topper for the mattress. So it's like if you have an old mattress and you buy a mattress topper, it's like a lovely extra layer of comfort What's the depth This big, I'm not going at quantities this big. Three inches. Yeah, it's between thirty and ninety. I have looked into mattress toppers a lot because Jim and An, my parents, mums had trouble with shoulders and whatnot. So Ive really explored they like their mattress, but they would like another layer. and you can get mattress toppers up to almost the size of a mattress then after. So ye ye It's not just that tiny thing. And that's enough to sleep on the whole night. Well it is for us have lived in different places. We trying to like, it's very good for you to sleep like close to the ground, like you know, the Japanese beds. It gives you a lot longevity and it's like good for your back and stuff a little bit of a harder mattress. So we're trying to like, I think we're going to like migrate to doing that So we tested it with the mattress and it's been grand. L it's more comfortable for me anyway I think it's comfortable. I like being close to the ground Is that the end of your night You you fall asleep there or do you at some point wake up and then have to go up to bed or that you're there? No, no, no, we slept downstairs. No, no. Simon woke up at one and came up and let Clapopsy out because she was kind of being a little bit of a bitch. So he let her out and then put Capo back into his little room but I was long gone at that point Beause I go to bed really early. L I was asleep by like patent. And I wake up early You're so healthy. I mean, I knew you were healthy, but I didn't know you were this healthy. It's not even as heightly undermined by the marijuana. Well, there's also the three different noodle slash rice dishes that you've got. Well we only had tiny bit. Well, I'm not even healthy, just I am just an early burdler. I'm just an early, I've always been like that. I'm just not a nighttime. I just don't function well. Like if I could do comedy before midday, I would crush Like I'm so much more alert. But ten thirty for me is I don't think I mean, unless I'm working I'm in bed Oh God. Well Jamie went away for nine days and I both kids I was in bed at seven hundred forty five and it was absolutely amazing. And also because I was just in Melbourne, absolutely stunning city, well done. greatreat choice to raise a family there. It's such a vibe, especially the five to nine before the nine to five. in Australia, you can get your day done at suunright. I mean, it's such a good way to live It's so good. My friend runs a cafe, the Fumbbley in Dublin. I once did a gig at seven thirty AM. I can't remember why, but we just thought it'd be funny thing to do. It's in fact It's a lot of screaming children, a lot of people coming up on stage And it's just a lot of people shaking their heads because they haven't had enough sleep. I mean I crushed. What can I say? I did have six children on stage around me. That's a perfect ending to this great day. I was really lucky had a beautiful day. Thanks for telling us what you did yesterday. My absolute pleasure. Victoria was very excited that I was able to tell about his prz party on this sign your praises couple of there and it was a great day and my favourite point in the day it's not necessarily any of the high points of the day, it is having Not a detailed, but certainly a discussion about what's worse out of the smell of catpiss and old people's piss Also, it seems like I have a gift for guessing how much outfits cost. That was very impressive. Yeah, a whole bit you became sort of Like Nostradamus?. Well, no, he's thats sort of not Nostradamus. he was predicting that at the end of the worldd. say then there was an earthquake. It was just we bought the first dress. It was Nostinramas' early work. It'll be difficult to figure out how to monetize it. The only way I could see would be I wonder if you can bet on the Antiques Road showow You know what I mean When you're watching it live, because I will be obviously with this new gift that I have know exactly how much, particularly clothes are going to cost on it. The A Rure isn't live, right? So There is a lot of corruption in gambling, but I really think, you know, you could get in with the editors. I just don't think people would believe it's a gift If you're what are you live streaming on Twitch? while Antiques Roadhow is on you're going hundred eighty What you don't see is so and Nie's Rocho, here's the bit they're filming. So it's the person by the table with the military medals and the young person who was given them by the great grandfather. And then all around are just loads of bookies who have John McQer Whiteboard wipe and you write all the odds up This bars for insurance purposes fifteenty to twenty grand, that's eight to one, twenty grand to thirty grand, sevententy to one, thirty grand plus, that is one hundred to one bar. D pats on the head, hits the nose, et cetera, et cetera. My beloved Fiona Bruce does have the head and they do the sort of long pan back, which is like maybe the next time we visit Wedgewood There will be a vase with my face on it From Wedgewood, good night, and it pulls back you just see loads of bookies for Iar this night. If you'd like to get in touch with this podcast, here is how To get in touch with the show, you can email us at What didid You do Yesterdaypod at gmailot comot Follow us on Instagram at Yesterday Pod and please subscribe and leave a review if you liked it on your preferred podcast platform. And if you didn't, please don't Thank you, David. Thank you Kyler as well. Lovely day. I enjoyed it. A beautiful day with lovely little insightful moments. A bit more of that now wouldn't go astay from our guest. And then when she was sending us her file Her partner came on. She' married to Thor. And this was a really exciting moment for me. I don't know if they're married, but I was to see their two little faces. She needed a hand doing the upload and to see them both peeping into the webcam. Wow. That was a vision of what Your life could have been like if you'd made different decisions. Anyway, I made it for life. There's one other thing. I should have said it at the start really. Yeah it was her husband. Producer Emma has just put that in. She refers to me as Dahi throughout, you'll notice, which is the Irish for David. So D Di. We're bringing Dio Davidi Irish. Dahio David is what it is in Irish. Exactly. But Thanks Ms. He thankss, David