A

A Bit of Optimism

Simon Sinek

Revisited: Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely with Author Fredrik Backman

May 26, 202658 min
Summary

In this episode, the host engages in a profound conversation with author Fredrik Backman about the nature of human connection, the epidemic of loneliness, and the intentional work required to build meaningful relationships. Reflecting on his own life, Backman credits his close, long-term friendships—specifically a bond with a friend he has known for over thirty years—as a cornerstone of his personal growth. He explains that these deep connections are not merely a result of luck, but the outcome of showing up consistently, being vulnerable, and choosing to be a supportive presence for others even when it is inconvenient. The discussion highlights the vital role of "editors" in our lives—friends who provide the perspective and objectivity needed to help us refine our thoughts and emotions during difficult times. Backman also challenges traditional notions of romance and friendship, noting that the "hard work" often associated with relationships is actually the work one must do on oneself. By sharing anecdotes about his marriage and fatherhood, Backman emphasizes that successful relationships thrive when individuals commit to being better people, communicating honestly, and prioritizing quantity of time as a tangible investment in the people they love.

Updated Jul 3, 2026

About This Episode

Hello from Team Simon! We're taking a quick break this week and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism next Tuesday.  Until then, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes — when bestselling novelist Fredrik Backman joined the show to talk about the thing he's spent his whole career writing about: the quiet, radical power of showing up for people. And Fredrik says great friendships aren't found by luck. They're built deliberately, repeatedly, and, sometimes, inconveniently by people who choose to do the work. Fredrik is the internationally bestselling author of A Man Called Ove (adapted into the film A Man Called Otto), Anxious People, and the Beartown series. His book, My Friends, is a love letter to the relationships that quietly shape who we become. In this conversation, Fredrik opens up about his best friend of over 30 years and what 30 years of real friendship actually requires. His words will have you thinking hard about the friends you might be taking for granted. In this episode you'll learn:  ➡️ Why great friendship is a skill + what the work actually looks like  ➡️ The concept of your "people” vs. “humans"  ➡️ Why your friends are your best editors ➡️ The friendship rule that changed how Fredrik's entire friend group thought about relationships ➡️ The unexpected value of quantity of time vs. quality of time  ➡️ How to be genuinely happy for someone else  ➡️ The difference between healthy self-deprecation and low self-esteem  ➡️ Why the work in a relationship is never solely on the relationship — it's always on you A great relationship isn't a stroke of luck. It's a choice you make every day, in small ways, often when it's inconvenient. This conversation is a reminder of why it's worth it. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + To buy Fredrik’s book, My Friends, visit: https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Fredrik-Backman/411545926  + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 We Don't Need Algorithms to Find Our People 00:02:45 Fredrik's Viral Speech: Fueled by Pure Panic 00:05:55 The Power of Authenticity: Why Imperfection Resonates 00:07:29 Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely 00:08:56 The Friend Who Taught Him Everything 00:15:43 Quality Time vs Quantity Time: The ROI of Presence 00:17:53 The "I Want To," Not "I Have To" Philosophy 00:20:55 Your Friends Are Your Best Editors 00:13:23 Writing as Self-Editing 00:15:06 Learning to Be Happy for Others 00:22:41 The Gift of Time: Showing Up When It Matters 00:23:56 Be A Great Friend, Get Great Friends 00:28:55 The Work Is On You: Relationships and Self-Growth 00:36:23 Algorithms Would Never Match Us: The Value of Difference 00:34:21 Trying Is Everything 00:35:55 People vs Humans 00:37:18 Self-Deprecation vs Low Self-Esteem 00:39:22 The Jantelagen: Swedish Humility Law 00:45:26 The Fear of Disappointing People 00:48:00 Expectations vs Reality: Letting Go of Fantasy 00:49:00 Understanding Bullies: Finding What We Have in Common 00:51:21 Fighting Narcissism: Surrounding Yourself With Better People 00:52:08 Being Comfortable Not Knowing: The Gateway to Learning 00:55:28 The World's Best Cardamom Bun Debate + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Listen to A Bit of Optimism in Podtastic

For listeners, not advertisers

More Episodes

How to Tell If Fear Is Protecting You or Holding You Back with Extreme Athlete Nelly Attar

Jun 30, 202651 minSummary

In this episode, the host interviews Nelly Attar, a psychologist turned extreme athlete and mountaineer who has made history as the first Arab to summit K2 and as a pioneer for women's sports in Saudi Arabia. The discussion moves beyond the surface-level definition of fear, exploring how Attar transitioned from an underground fitness instructor in a restrictive environment to a world-class climber. A central theme of the conversation is the nature of risk versus purpose. Attar explains that her initial motivation for launching a secret dance studio for women was not a grand plan for activism, but a personal refusal to live an average life. She reveals how small, incremental acts of courage—supported by a strong community—can lead to profound social change. The discussion takes an insightful turn toward the concept of service, as Attar emphasizes that her intense preparation for high-altitude climbs is a duty to the support teams and local guides who make such feats possible. Ultimately, the episode encourages listeners to adopt an attitude of kindness and service in everyday life, arguing that making someone feel seen and valued is a powerful, yet often overlooked, way to live with purpose.

Remembering Bob Chapman: The Mentor Who Changed My Life

Jun 23, 202652 minSummary

In this episode, the host shares a deeply personal tribute to his late mentor, Bob Chapman, the former CEO of Barry-Wehmiller. The conversation, recorded during a visit to the company’s factory in Phillips, Wisconsin, explores Chapman’s radical philosophy of human-centered leadership. Chapman explains his pivotal realization that employees are not merely functions of business success or entries on a spreadsheet, but precious individuals placed in his care. The discussion highlights how this shift in perspective transformed his leadership style, moving from a focus on short-term financial gains to the long-term well-being of his team. Chapman details the company’s internal university, where they teach essential human skills like empathetic listening and the art of recognition. He argues that these skills are foundational, often having a profound impact on employees' marriages and relationships with their children. Furthermore, the episode addresses the cynicism surrounding corporate culture, with Chapman asserting that caring is not a luxury for prosperous times but a core business responsibility. By prioritizing psychological safety and rejecting the use of layoffs, Barry-Wehmiller demonstrates that a business model rooted in genuine care can outperform the market while serving as a powerful force for good.

The AI Skills Nobody is Teaching (And Everyone Needs) with AI Expert Ethan Mollick

Jun 16, 202658 minSummary

In this episode of A Bit of Optimism, host Simon Sinek speaks with Ethan Mollick, a Wharton professor and author of Co-Intelligence, to explore the pragmatic integration of artificial intelligence in work and daily life. Moving past the polarizing "doomer" versus "zealot" narratives, Mollick advocates for a balanced, realistic approach to AI as a transformative, general-purpose technology. The discussion centers on the tension between efficiency and the human necessity of effort. Mollick highlights a critical challenge: as AI increasingly handles complex tasks, the traditional apprenticeship model—where junior employees gain experience through grunt work—is at risk. He warns that a culture obsessed with results over process threatens to erode talent development and individual intuition. Throughout the conversation, Mollick emphasizes that humans retain agency through taste, judgment, and original points of view, which AI cannot replicate. He encourages listeners to move beyond using AI as a basic search tool and instead treat it as an agent capable of performing challenging, high-level tasks. Ultimately, the episode serves as a thoughtful reflection on how individuals can thoughtfully adapt to this new landscape without sacrificing the human effort that gives work its meaning.

How to Stop Letting Your Own Thoughts Make You Sick, Stressed, and Stuck with Dr. Ellen Langer

Jun 9, 202657 minSummary

In this episode of A Bit of Optimism, the host sits down with Dr. Ellen Langer, a Harvard psychologist often referred to as the "mother of mindfulness," to explore how our thoughts and internal narratives impact our well-being. Dr. Langer challenges the common perception that stress is an unavoidable byproduct of external events, arguing instead that it is largely a result of the stories we tell ourselves. The discussion clarifies that mindfulness is not a meditative practice but a way of being that embraces the ubiquity of uncertainty. By shifting our perspective, Dr. Langer explains that we can reframe stressful experiences, moving from viewing them as potential tragedies to seeing them as mere inconveniences. She also touches upon the concept of emotional labels, noting that physiological responses like a racing heart can be interpreted as either nervousness or excitement. By consciously choosing to label these sensations as excitement, we can fundamentally alter our response to life’s challenges. The conversation ultimately highlights how acknowledging that we do not have all the answers allows for greater creativity, resilience, and a more fulfilling, present life.

What Happens When You Stop Optimizing and Start Committing with Former LA Lakers President Tim Harris

Jun 2, 202656 minSummary

In this episode of A Bit of Optimism, the host interviews Tim Harris, the former president of business operations for the Los Angeles Lakers. Over a thirty-five-year tenure with the organization, Harris witnessed the rise of iconic figures like Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, offering him a unique perspective on leadership, commitment, and culture. The conversation centers on the lost art of long-term commitment in a modern professional world defined by constant pivoting and optimization. Harris argues that the most powerful brands are not built through superficial success, but through genuine human moments and a focus on long-term team cohesion. He highlights the importance of clearly defined roles, noting that leadership is akin to coaching: one must provide guidance and responsibility without resorting to micromanagement. A key theme is the danger of conditional teamwork, or the unspoken "as long as" mentality, which can erode any organization. Instead, Harris suggests that leaders should foster an environment where employees feel safe sharing their true ambitions. By focusing on fundamentals and human connection—such as his tradition of giving premium seats to fans in the rafters—Harris demonstrates that business is ultimately a vehicle for creating lasting human memories.

The Real Reason You Feel Empty (Even When Life Looks Good) with Musician Mike Posner

May 5, 202652 minSummary

In this episode, the host interviews musician and producer Mike Posner, exploring his transformative journey from a pop star trapped by the hollow pursuit of external success to a man who found self-acceptance through intentional hardship. Despite reaching the pinnacle of the music industry with multiple hits, Posner describes feeling an internal void, leading him to realize he was living a life disconnected from his true self. The conversation delves into the concept of art as alchemy—the ability to transform personal pain into something that provides fellowship and connection for others. Posner explains his decision to step away from the industry's manufactured path to walk across the United States, an experience he describes as his true rite of passage. He and the host discuss the modern tendency to avoid discomfort, arguing that avoiding vulnerability and challenge only perpetuates emptiness. Instead, they advocate for embracing difficulties as essential teachers. Posner emphasizes that his journey was not about seeking validation, but about closing the gap between his internal reality and his external life, ultimately finding a grounded peace that fame could never provide.

The Real Reason Young People Don't Have 'The Hunger' for Work (And What Leaders Need to Hear) with Generations Expert Dr. Eliza Filby

Apr 28, 20261h 25mSummary

In this episode, host Simon Sinek sits down with generational historian Dr. Eliza Filby to unpack the complex dynamics shaping today's workforce. The conversation challenges prevailing narratives about generational laziness or entitlement, suggesting instead that younger generations are reacting rationally to a fundamentally altered economic landscape. Dr. Filby explains that the traditional life script—the promise that hard work leads to stability, home ownership, and a clear career trajectory—has been steadily eroding since the 1980s. With corporate loyalty declining and mass layoffs becoming common, younger workers are increasingly navigating professional instability through "squiggly" careers, solopreneurship, or reliance on family support. The two explore why the concept of "the hunger for work" is changing, noting that many young people are choosing to prioritize well-being over the burnout they witnessed in their parents' professional lives. They also discuss how fragmented media and the erosion of shared societal experiences contribute to deeper distrust in institutions. Ultimately, the episode serves as a call to action for leaders to rethink their value proposition. In an age of uncertainty, if a company cannot offer long-term stability, it must find new ways to offer purpose, belonging, and genuine growth to its people.

All podcast names and trademarks are the property of their respective owners. Podcasts listed on Podtastic are publicly available shows distributed via RSS. Podtastic does not endorse nor is endorsed by any podcast or podcast creator listed in this directory.