Reflecting on Personal Growth and Relationships

I was like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, I have a front row seat to mail shame to the thing that they are the most terrified of, which is this like definition of what makes them a man is broken This podcast is a deer media production. Hi guys. Hi guys. Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat. Welcome back and happy cancer season . Ever here . I think I skipped a year . The twenty second it starts. I mean this week. All right, it's this week. What other week it be? The twenty third? I always think it's a twenty second, but you know, there's a mixed review. So enjoy the last day of Gemini season, you guys . You ch'areotic .un Je twenty first , most people say wow. I didn't know. It would be tough to be on june twenty first. You're like, what am I, what was I made for? Every sign though It just depends 'cause I feel like Chachank, who was october twenty first, like he's a clear libra . No one's ever said he's like up for debate to be a scorpio. I'm not up for debate at all. Well, happy cancer season, you guys. All right, now we can thank our partners. Okay. Thanks to Biopimizters Sleep great and get fifty percent off at Bioptimizers. com slash ge with co ge and hunger . Get forty percent off your first box and a free item in every box for life at hungry root. com slash ge with cog e and Skims, shop every day cotton plus our favorite brows and underwear at skims. com. And thank you to IM eight. Get a free, welcome kit, five travel sachets and ten dollars off your order at iamatehealth. com slash ge and use code GGE, and thank you to resort pass the day is yours. Get twenty dollars off your first booking of one hundred dollars or more at resort pass. com slash gear and quince. Get free shipping and three hundred sixty five day returns on your next order at quince com dot slash g e. So I saw this thing on TikTok and I wanted to see what you thought of this and if you had seen it. So I saw some thing that was viral. This is probably a weeks ago at this point because you know TikTok, TikTok we serve me some for March , you know? Like, that's what happened to me lately. I mean it was March. Yeah, just whatever. But I'm like, I have seen this sometimes. Like you guys got to figure out more. I'll still be I'll be getting comments on my valve video for till twenty twenty seven. I hope so. It's like it never stops. So it's still being served to people is my point, you know. So this woman had asked for men's ics , you know, in a nicest way, and they were pretty nice. Like I got served one of these like a couple days ago also. Yeah, so there's a few out there, but this is one of the most popular ones and this was still in May so it's not that old. But it says since girls always talk about their ic about guys, I want to hear guys about girls. Oh , and they weren't that you know, I was like, oh, what's this comment section going to be ? Just a bunch of misogynist men. But they weren't too bad. I mean, I think that someone who I'm personally not a big fan of cheating . You know, like just a man Yeah, okay. Like unable to say sorry , not saying please and thank you . These are turnoffs doing everything for yeah, exactly but that's the thing like men don't really have ex, but the one that I saw and I saw this in a couple different comments sections is they said bird hands . And I gotta figure out what that means. Okay, we'll take a guess because I didn't know it. And then it was like linked on TikTok. Like you could go see a bunch more content on bird hands. Bird hands. Yeah, let me know what you think. I mean, my only thought is just like a really slight hand because like I'm thinking about like a pigeon's but really think about that. Why would a man care if your hands are small? Right, I have a bird hand . I'm just I think birds are so disgusting. I'm just grossed out thinking about it. Can you show me? Okay, this when you a lot of like you see people talk like this. Oh man, it's a mannerism. It's more of a mannerism . So I don't I don't really do this , but if that's how you talk, I talk with my hands. I'm not criticizing it, but you know what I'm talking about. And you can kind of see it. So sometimes first of all, this is Italian. Hold it doing this gesture is like that's not but when the Italian hand is flipped, you do see more women doing like this is kind of how they hold their hands when they talk. And then you see sometime they clamp where that's really trying to drive a point home. I'm trying to this. I don't think you do it . And I can think of one friend who does it, but other than that, I think maybe it's a little younger mannerism. I mean, I talk with my hands a lot. I watch my Instagram stories and I'm very as I'm talking, you don't aggressive. I mean, you watch you watch me on this podcast every year. You don't do it. You and I don't do that. I'm trying to think why I would unless I was like in your face like trying to like yep , yep, like try to really piss somebody off. Well, so that's the thing. And like I saw one TikTok that said hot take, men say they hate bird hands, but women use bird hands when they're emphasizing their words. And I think what men really hate is when women are trying to make a point because then they actually have to listen to them obv.ious Andly that's what they actually hate. Of course not, all men don't want to listen to women, you know? But that could be that men have they that don't like it have had an experience where a woman is birdhanding in their face. But just this in general, I picture the women that do this and it's a vibe. It's a vibe critical. I'm not that vibe. I just I will find other ways I do this a lot. I like roll my wrist a lot when I talk. Yeah, and of course I like'm sure everybody has mannerisms that someone might not like or that would be an ick, but that specific thing I think is interesting. And then I saw one woman be like, I'm gonna do bird hands all day 'cause I want to show off my nails. I get them done every week. She has this great nail art and she like's, I want to click them together and that's almost like why you're doing it too. And it's like a showing off type thing. I do feel that I do that in Instagram stories because my nails always look great. You know, I just get regular manicures and I want people to know that I've put time and energy into this that could have gone into something else. And yeah, I talk a lot with my hand, but same . No, bird hands, I do not, I do not identify in this. And then I did see someone take the, you're just, you just hate Italians. And that's not it. This is not a bird hand. This is up anside down , bird handed Italian. What would have to happen to me in order for me to start talking like this? I mean, if I do this hand gesture, like I'm kind of being funny, but I don't peck with my hands like that. Fuck no. Something bad would have had to happen in order. I know like the who hurts you men that even clock this and don't like it. Like I can't be in the middle of an argument arguing like this, I'm not comfy. Yeah, I got to be as comfy as possible to like win this argument. But I guess I can picture a really loud outgoing woman like us. That's not a dig, who's really birdhanding in a guy's face on a date and he doesn't like it. I wouldn't like it. I would not like it. I wouldn't like it. No, I understand. It's like, it's a vibe. You can see the whole relationship through that hand . That hand is a portal to what the next five years are gonna be like of your life . Maybe. Or sometimes that's just how women want to do this and like make a point. I don't know. So it's just funny. I wonder if any of you guys are like listening watching this conversation, you were doing this, not even clamping them together but hur,ts your. th Whenumb touching the rest of your fingers in this bird, this is a bird, this is the bird, right? The shape. If you're doing this and you're pecking when you're talking, like, why? And just let us know shade. I mean, I support anything women want to do. It's just it hurts my wrist. But can you imagine a guy? He's like, dude, I like her, but she's bird hands. Like, can you imagine this is a man a man saying that to his friend and his friends like bigger? How big are her boobs? Yeah, right. Yeah, no. He's like, Hey, man, like, how was a date? Like, what do you think? Like, she's such a cool chick, she looks so hot and he's like, Dude, she's like everything, but I just can't get past the bird. Do you think men know what bird hands are? They're the ones you say all other men are like no Shak didn't know but then I did it and he goes No I don't like that. I think you get a real feeling when you see somebody doing it yeah. So he was like oh I mean it wouldn't have turned me off of you , probably . But I understand some people being like, it makes my dick go soft . Was there anything else crazy in there? Nothing. Again, the ones that I saw were maybe they don't like a vocal fry or documenting everything for TikTok. I guess everybody I mean, if people have a pulse they'll come up with something. Yes . And if you want to do everything for social media and you're dating somebody and doesn't like it and you want to keep doing it, that's not your person Those the real units. And if you want to talk with vocal fry , you'll find someone that also is fine with that. The Kardashians talk with vocal fry, they're some of the most desired women in the world . I mean, Kendall Jenner, if I could pick any of their dating histories, it might I think it's Kendall Jenner. I think it's Bad i and Jacob Olored. Like I would die. That's well, who else would it even be ? Is there anyone else's exit that you even care about? That's true. I mean, all Chloe's just seem like they treated her terrible , so that's out. Scott Disick, no. Like, I'm not attracted to Scott Disick or Lamar or Kanye . Kiga or Chris Humphreys. Travis Scott is Travis . That's that's Travis Scott. But also Kendall Jenner, there's other people on the roster. I mean, she's got the best dating history that I would choose. Who else does she have? Was Devin, whatever? No. Oh, Devin Booker. Yeah. I just I've been like getting served more videos of her back. Like, obviously, like, she's the one. That's crazy. Yeah., okay Okay, well, anyway, you guys let us know what your bird hands in the comments. So something else we want to talk about. And we received this listener of the show who emailed and posted publicly on Instagram stories and tagged us. So I'm like, Oh, you're gonna you want us to see this. I don't care what people say about us behind our backs on the internet. I never had this on our business. We've just never been like you want to email and you want to bring it to us , then I'm happy to address it. Not, you know, so she wanted some attention. Yeah. So she just kind of complained about the show now and took a bunch of shots, like, was this the first good ep isode in a while? Like basically like, hey guys, am I right or just girls got to eat suck these days? Which is you took a shot at us. Like I'm happy to shoot you don't start no shit won't be no shit as always. And I don't need to go through her whole post and redline it because a lot of it I just didn't really feel like was valid or accurate. She kind of complained about us talking about pop culture, which was interesting because we've always talked about pop culture since twenty twenty really in depth, and then we removed it from the Monday episodes to focus on dating and relationships and made a whole other episode about it. So you actually can consume it or not. But again, I don't need to go down everything that she said. She's welcome to her opinion. And this may be opinion other people share. I mean this is, someone that probably talks about our show to her friends and has been a longtime listener and anyone who has been around from the start, we appreciate you being here. I don't consider you a fan when you're posting, does this show suck now. I think you're an op. But if you want to still consider yourself a fan, we're happy to have you. And we're happy to address criticism because I actually find this interesting on a bigger level and like an overarching theme. And that's why we wouldn't have talked to about talk it. It wasn't just like someone criticized us and we're going to defend ourselves. It's more just like, I do find this fascinating when people critique something like a show, a podcast for evolving over an eight and a half year time period . Listen, everybody is allowed to have whatever opinion they want us. And Ashley and I check in with our friends and our families and people we love and people whose opinions we value and I am not impervious to feedback. I like feedback. It's important. Yeah. If you're going to tag me in something shitty on an Instagram story , that's not the type of feedback I'm going to digest through a positive lens. But I just think in general, the comment of like this used to be different and now I don't like it anymore . Yeah. really It's interesting. And I think anybody that's had a business for this long in media, I mean, to have you guys stick around for nearly a decade is like really an honor. I can't even really compute in my brain that anybody would stick around that long and watch the extreme evolution of this show. I think how different we are and how much we've evolved and I'm so proud of it. Like I could not be more proud of the evolution of the show and the knowledge that you and I have gotten and the lens through which you guys have allowed us to see the world and see other people. And I think it's made you and I kinder, more patient, more understanding, and also a little more private as we've gotten older. So that was me. I'm going to go back. She was listening. She'd be like, my main gripe was that you guys are like gatekeeping and not sharing as much. And I actually don't totally agree , but I see I see the point only because I guess you're just used to like us being single sharing about our dates and our sexual escapades. And that's not our life now. Like I have I feel like I've been really open about my marriage and the evolution of that. And I'm never gonna come in here and tell you about like a fight we had or something that Shashon wouldn't want me to. I don't know. Like my relationship I, share as much as I feel comfortable. And if people want more , I mean, his comfort level and the privacy that we want to maintain like does come first. You know, like I think it would have been really hard if he was like, You can't talk about me at all. And that would have been a bridge we would have had to cross because the show is very important too. And I would have hated to have to make that decision . But I think you see this a lot. You see it with p Mo'sodcast , a call or daddy being one where these two single women shared all these sexual escapades about people they weren't in relationships with and you got a lot of information. And then I mean that is a different show now. But I don't listen to it regularly, so I can't really speak but I'm sure Alex shares a lot less. And there's so many other examples us being that that's the biggest one. And so in terms of the privacy, I don't know , that's subjective . I really think that we are still very open and we aren't ever trying to withhold things. And these are conversations that Rain and I have privately what we're willing to share and like, I have them with Shashon too and Rain and I talk about guys she's dated and what she wants to share and what she doesn't . And it is part of just getting older and growing up too. I think about Alex Cooper as the perfect example. She grew up. She fell in love with somebody. The stakes were higher. That's a private relationship that she holds sacred. And I think that most people as they get a little more famous. Taylor Tomlinson used to have that podcast and she would talk about her life all the time and I think as she blew up a little more, it became less comfortable. I'm completely hypothesizing and I don't know her personally . But I think, you know, as more people find you, more people have opinions about you and your life becomes more public. And I've just gotten more private as I've grown up. I want to have solid romantic relationships with people that like when they ask me, are you going to talk about me on the podcast? I want the answer to be no, I'm not going to reveal all this stuff about our lives that are really personal. Yeah, I'm gonna talk about it as much as I'm comfortable. If I'm really dating somebody, you guys will know about it. Yeah. And if I have a crazy experience, you guys will know about it. And maybe for the last few months people feel like I've been talking about dating 'cause I haven't been dating. I've also just been on tour. Like I saw a friend recently and she was like, So are you dating? And I was like, No, and she was like, nobody. And I was like, nobody. And she was like, come on. And I was like, I just went to like twenty six cities in three months. I don't have time . Who could I prioritize? But you are sharing everything that you're feeling on your tour, which is your life right now. And you know, the move, for example, like we put it all out the table a couple weeks ago about the move, we were sharing as much as we knew on this podcast. Like, I think I wonder if people ever thought that like it felt gatekeepy. And I'm like, if you think it's gatekeepy, our friends do too, because they're asking constantly around the clock. And I'm out here like, I don't know. And that's the honest to God truth . And big moments, you and I have never actually really been ones to share exactly what's happening in the moment. Like no one knew Dewey was sick until he died. Like and that was a decision I made I. don And't even know if I'd make the same decision now. Maybe I would have been a little more open. I had my own reasons and not really wanting feedback . And I didn't share about my rhinoplasty for a while after it happened. And I actually don't think I would have done that today. I think I would have been more open about it than we're all we're all making these decisions and like it almost all comes out. It's just at our own discretion and we want to figure out how to talk about it. And I really love that about us that it's not just like, no, I mean, I think we do a good job of not coming in here and being like, and then we have to change our minds or run it back or and retract anything. And so I don't know, that's just kind of how we operate. And again, people that listen to show are welcome to think whatever they want. That's their opinion. It's just interesting like all shows will evolve over that. That's the amount of time. Like in twenty eighteen, when we started this , I would ' knowven eight years later, it wouldn't have been the same , and I wouldn't have wanted it to be. I think it's nice to grow up and I think that there's so much content in the world to fill the holes. You know, I think that like if you want late twenties, early thirties, I'm running around dating, I'm having these crazy sex stories, there's tons of content that exists for that. And totally, we are no longer probably gonna provide that a ton, but I do it on my tour. I talk about all these crazy wild sex stories. I mean, it's nothing but that. And everything can exist in one person, but I think that I have become a little more private as I've gotten older and there's things that I don't talk about on this podcast. I mean, I allude to the fact that I don't really much of a relationship with one of my parents. I someday will talk about it a little more. I don't need to right now. Yeah. And that's probably the only thing I'm ever really gatekeeping about, but that's really private. Absolutely. And I just, I think to this girl's point, I think in general, it's interesting what we ask of in media and people that hold a microphone, people talk every single week and what we expect them to share with us and not share with us. And there's tons of people that share everything and there's plenty of content you can find that are like that. But I mean, there's plenty of shows also where you don't know anything about the house. And they don't talk about the private lives and their families and their relationships. And there's reasons for it, and they don't want to put those people on the chopping block and they don't want to make those people public because they didn't sign up for that kind of stuff. And I think we try to sort of strike the balance between like , at least I hope we do of like giving enough information, but not all of it. There are some things I'm going to keep sacred. Yeah, and I think there are people public figures who shared everything and then stopped completely. And that is your decision to stop supporting them, stop following, consuming their content. That's a decision you have to make. Like, they're within their right to do that. I don't always agree with the decision. I think sometimes people share a bunch, benefit from it, take your money, and then stop . And it's like, what do you owe people? You kind of do. Ow them more. You benefited from sharing, but it's still your decision and it's still your life. That's the consumer, the follower's decision to stop supporting . And we know that we can't please everybody. Like I've never really been big on the feedback loop. You know, there's people out there like I don't care and I don't re comment and I don't feedback. I'll take it from the type of my circle, my team , you know, like there's a healthy balance there too, because everyone has to know that's like the advice I would give to anybody starting. You will not be able to please everybody. And even on the highest level, like some people just listen to the snack every week, some people just want solos from us. Some people would hate it if we stopped having guests. Like we learned that early on. We're doing our best in trying to really stay true to our roots and do what we feel proud of. Like if someone came in and they're like, girls, here's what you really got to do. We did surveys, we ran the test and we didn't like it, we wouldn't do it . You know, we want to feel proud of what we're putting out there. And I think every week reading comments, it's like we know that some people prefer a solo versus a guest, versus a sec versus this. And that's when you have to do what you want and feel proud of because you cannot please everybody. And this is advice I give no matter what you're doing. Well like two things to what you said. You and I also check each other all the time. I mean all, the time , like we are at home an hour or two after recording, and one of us will voice at the other person like, I don't know if I liked how this sounded. Like let's kind of digest this through a different lens. Like we check each other all the time. Our editors are wonderful and they also like listen to the show and give us feedback. And just on like a broader sense like it's just a good reminder that like whatever you do in the world, if you're putting out content, there will be people that don't like it. And there will always be people on both sides of the coin. And I think if this was slut story, slut stories, slut story. Every week there would be plenty of people that were like, Oh my god, ladies are in your forties. You haven't changed. You haven't happened. You haven't grown up. Yeah. It's always the same fucking people that are gonna hate you no matter what you do. And like our audience has grown up with us and it',s such an honor that there's people in their fifties now, forties that have children listeners too in college. And like, I think those women want us to be role models for their daughters. And like, I'm proud that this has evolved. And there will always be people that have a problem with what you do. And so like you just have to trust your gut and the people that you love and the people around you to give you good advice. Our friends are always giving us feedback and advice. It's always really positive and nice, honestly. But yeah, I mean, I think they can check us too. And that's who I want to listen to and take feedback from and you guys are usually really wonderful. I'll take a private email or DM here but just you can't take all that in. It's you can't nobody everybody for it. And I think it's interesting with this is not nobody in particular, when people really think that you should . People really think their singular opinion, you should change your show for it. We've gotten emails like that for years. This isn't about that girl. This is about the entitlement that some people have like I don't like this, stop doing it or do it differently. It's wild to me. Well, to those of you do still like the show, everybody else. We love you guys. We have the best in the world. We say it all the time and we're so honored to have moms and their daughters both listen and I say that in a like age range and also literally that that happens and we know that happens and then that they've come to the show. And so it's been an honor to have you guys like along on the ride and we love that we still have you young slots listening and women going through menopause listening, you know, it's an honor. Yeah , it is. Yeah. Well, let's talk about our partners and then we will get into this episode today. We just recorded with Christina and this is incredible. 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That's IM number eight health HEA TH dot com slash gecog for free a welcome kit five, free travel sachets plus ten percent off your order. IMA health dot com slash gecog e. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat cure or prevent any disease. And let's get into it with Christina. Okay guys, we are very excited to welcome our guest today. She is an actor, an author, a screenwriter, and a producer. She spent a year working hands on in an erectile dysfunction clinical in LA treating hundreds of men at their most vulnerable, which resulted in her debut memoir, You don't know Dick. Please welcome to the show, Christina Denton. Thank you guys so much. I cannot wait to chat with you. This is so exciting. I know. We're so excited. I don't even know you are, but we'll get into your whole story, but just a little bit about you. So you live here. I've been in LA almost twenty years. I come from a very small town in rural California. A girl who says rural. the country Rural is a hard word. Yes. It is a word. It is the appropriate word. No. My mom as a speech therapist would be very proud of me for pronouncing that. You definitely? But yeah, I'm from literally a place that couldn't be more different than L.A., even though it is Califor nia. Most people don't realize how rural California actually is unless you traveled outside of LA . Yeah . So yeah, I always wanted to be an actor since I was two years old. I have no idea why I knew what that meant at two years old, but I told my mom. So I think there was just a performer, a storyteller that was always in me and it took different forms over my life. I started doing poetry from a young age, short stories, dancing, singing, acting , yeah, and it just kind of all made sense and eventually I was like, I guess I'm gonna be an author now , apparently. Okay, well I read your book yesterday, cover to cover. I just want to gas you up. Like I love his book so much. You are a really fun writer and like we got this pitch to have you on the show and I was looking at it I was like hush this book Dicks okay this gonna be like just like a male apologist book or something. It's so much deeper than that. It's so interesting and funny and light and serious and I felt myself like feeling a lot of emotions. I mean, you just, I really want to gas you up. You've done a great job with this book. It's really different. Thank you, yeah. So how long did the book take to write in total? Actual writing time was it was six months off and on, but actual writing time was probably less than two months because I write really, really fast. But this story's been in me for exactly. So it just pours out of you. And then did you find it really thera peutic writing it? Like, did you have moments where I mean, you write about your dad a lot and you guys okay. Do you remember that movie with Diane Keaton? Diane Keaton. We love it. I mean, Nancy Meyer's movie Something's got a give. Yeah. Do you remember the scene where she's like the playwright and she's crying and she's trying to get pictures? That was literally me the whole time. I was like muscling my way through finishing this thing. Thank God I had a deadline because otherwise that's why I was like, I had to get publ aishing deal before I wrote it or else I would not have actually forced me seriously. Who's holding you accountable? No, seriously. But like, I did not expect so much emotion from this book about penises Dix can be very emotional. Like part of me was like, is this gonna be like Matt had feelings too? We get it booed. It goes so great. And you're connected to the stories about your father and your relationship and we will get into it. But when you were working at the Dickl Cinic, which we should get into, how you got a job there and became like the Dick Whisper, but were you writing all the stories down as you went? Okay, in fairness, because I was already a screenwriter, I was already a comedian. My lens on this whole world already was funny, right going and I was like, this is insane. I am doing I am a dick fixer . What is a job for someone like you? For sure. Absolutely. For somebody who already was like into dicks and drawing dicks as a kid like for sure a horny. But I was like, yeah, I would take notes in my notes app. I would be like, Okay, that was the craziest shit that ever happened. I'm gonna make sure and remember that. You know what I mean? Like I had to. I just had to because something crazy is happening to my life and I'm going to talk about this and I don't be crazy not to. Yes. I just want to wrap like up a little bit about you. So you are sober , married. Yeah. And you're our age. You say your age or you just turned forty four. I know. But thank you for thinking, I'm okay. I find that I'm upset . This is what living in LA does though. That's right. Yeah, there's expectations. Wow. Get it together. And I said a lot of healing, a lot of healing. Listen, I aspire to look like you in ten years. Okay. You guys are doing great. You're doing just there. Okay. My last question, is that your hand on the book? No, but it looks just like that. There's a picture that says You don't know Dick and of the Eye of the Dick. It's a hand wrapped around that's so funny. The eye of the dick. You didn't think that it was the tip of the penis. It was actually the letter eye. The letter eye. Yeah, it's grabbing the eye. It's a great ball making a little bulge. It looks a little bit like a butt plug. You're right. I agree and it's bulging. Okay. So how did that decision get made? Like you were like, I want to be the hand model and they were like, sorry, you're not qualified. No, my cover designer and I were talking at length, obviously about what the heck the covers going to be. Yeah, I always wanted to be this very aggressive like bold in your face. You're walking by a bookstore going , okay, whoa, that thing just screamed at me. I clearly need a little bit. Right in my living room. Yeah. And like my original idea was to turn the eye into like an exclamation mark or have it be like sad or something, you know what I mean? Something? But then I was like, You know what? I think we just need to grab it. Like, I don't know. And he was like , let me show you. And he made this, and I was like, Done. And the publishers were like, We love it. I was like, okay, we're doing it. I'd love it. Unapologetic. No, it's it is and it's like, listen, you should read it in public, you guys. You should get it, read it on a plane, but it's horny too. The grab. Yeah. Like it's kind of it's bold and it's grabbed. We're fixing digs. Grab at a time. Listen, I don't know, grab them by the dick?. Right We're gonna change the narrative. I don't know maybe that's all of that. All of it. Okay. I wanna talk about how you've gone to this job because you were an actress and you did not say like I'm gonna go into the medical like medspa profession. So like how did this happen? No , so if anybody has ever tried to pursue a dream of acting, I was working multiple day jobs always, right? Like just plenty of things. Friends of mine were like, We're opening a wellness spa and it's close to your house. And before I was commuting like an hour to the st jageob every day, I was like, yes, great, perfect. I'll be your office manager. Fantastic. Three months in, they're like, we're never going to make money. We're never going to like there's a million of these wellness centers. Every strip mall has an anti aging clinic, right . And so the husband of the duo was like, heard this Joe Rogan podcast. Yeah, as he of course because he's that guy. And they were talking about this biohacker, Ben Greenfield went on the podcast talking about this service, this non invasive solution to rectile dysfunction. No pills, no this, no surgery. And so he's like, We're going to bring this on and we're going to do it, and you're our only employee. So you're going to get certified. So crazy. I was like, you're losing power. Go ahead. Yeah, it's so smart. It is very smart. It's a very good business decision. But like, it's funny look at the receptionist, the office manager and be like, You'll do it. He knew something. Yeah, he's like, you clearly can like talk to anybody, right? And there's love. My background was, though, yes. I did have a background in physical therapy though. So I had my degree in college is kinesiology, exercise science, nutrition, so I had worked in spaces that were similar, like adjacent, right? Obviously I was not touching dicks, but I was handling people's bodies in certain ways. And so I think there was just this natural like you're going to be able to handle this . And it was like you're asking me to do something extremely vulnerable, very mature. You're gonna have to pay me more money. I'm not going to make twenty five dollars an hour like fixing dicks. Like there's no way. That's the most money I think you could ask for like in anything. Yeah, touching Dick. I got to touch strangers dicks ten . Stay professional and be very kind and like paying a per dick also bonus. And so I was like, give me so we did, we worked out a deal who was gonna pay me X amount of money additional per dick . Fantastic, right? And so next day I know I'm on a flight to Tucson, Arizona to Trade. Never been to Tucson. Was in a clinic with all these urologists from all around the country and I'm like, okay, wait, I'm clearly the only like actor slash comedian slash non medical professional here. And they're taking it so seriously . And I'm like, there's a whole industry for like fixing dicks. Like this is like, they're paying their mortgages from doing this. And I'm like over here like giggling like a school girl at like what we're talking about . And we had to do a hands on portion. Did that surprise you when the model walked out and they were like, here's the dick on the stage. Of course, I was like, oh wait, this is really happening. Like this is going to be now it's like confronting. You're like, you have to do this because you have to practice in order to get certified You can imagine the way. Let's not forget this, this machine is called Shockwave Therapy. Yeah , shockwave on a piece. Like that is not words you would put together only . Like I wouldn't you couldn't shock wave my clothes. I'm sorry, I don't care. But she also did people in our vinas. I did. And I had my own vagina. Shock . I was so offended by this conversation. Okay, can I ask you one question before we continue ? Were you like a dick enthusiast? Is that a thing? I probably won is, I would say. I love that. I mean you're an enthusiast like and you're not a dick enthusiast because I like dick picks so much and dick all the things. You love dick pics, you love a jerk off video. You like to watch people jerk off. You like to talk and look at penises. Like, I'm a little more like a dick. Like, oh yeah, do love it. I mean, I love my husband's dick and I don't I'm not anti Dick, but between the two of us, I think okay, no, that's fair. You're not like, I don't want to look at a dick or just wanna look at everyone's dick. You do. Okay, I would just unsolicited Dick. So where do you fall between the rain and I love I would say solicit them. I love them. I'm probably somewhere in the middle. Okay. Like I think people. Yeah, like if it's like there's a dick, I'm now after having this job, I'm like , yeah, great there's a tick, of course, there's a dick. as well You're talking I've almost met. I have yes, one hundred percent. It's just a naughty part. Nothing shocks me anymore after that job, like literally when it comes to dicks. Before that, I would say I've always loved sex. I've always been like pro dick, like two dicks in a room, I'm always like, that's a lot to figure out, but like, you know, it's fun. Yeah. Like who figured it out? No, I really do want to have a three so two guys. I'm really excited. I've never done that 'cause I always figured like, I don't know how to pay attention to who Is'm my proble on them. I actually got too. Like there's so many body parts flying. That's not my problem. I'm here for my enjoyment and you guys can figure it out. That's why it's better because you don't care about them. Like if there was a woman in the room I'd be like, I would be worried about her. But with women who cares what they say? Someone I respect was in the room. I would care about it. If it's two guys, I can share. They're like, figuring it out, sword, let's go. Yeah. Just Eiffel Tower, let's get any woman in an MF L being like, I'm just really concerned if they were fully included. Dude, do you feel do you feel seen? Are you sure? No, I don't care. Let's put it to make this hot. Are you guys kissed? Okay. Progressive threesomes are like, everyone does everyone else feel safe? Yeah. That's so true. My won Threesome. I was like really concerned with her feeling excluded and I could not care less of men feeling closed. I had, I forgot he was there. I was like, oh yeah, he's told . Like the novelty is me and the girl, I've done this to do this any night . You're like, okay, stay over in your corner, please. Yeah. Okay, so you go to the conference, you go to the conference and you're notified job now. This is my job now. And then my dad dies. And it takes a whole other turn, which I didn't want to we don't talk about that yet, but come back two weeks later, have my first client. Well, I think it matters is I think that you healed your relationship with mention. I don't think that's a title. Yeah, yeah. It's the whole thrust of the book in a lot of ways is about your dick puns are off the sharks. I don't know if you're trying to never stop so it's you're preserved though. You have, you know, I think that you do it well. You don't take advantage. I don't know if you're mean. Do you say thrust normally? I don't. It comes out when we're in this like literally I'll be talking and I'm like, ah, and I catch myself and like shit. And I'm like, everything is a dick double on top. Whatever they call it, yeah. And you had a strange relationship with your father and then he passed. And you obviously talk about that in the book. Did he know you got this job? No, because he was kind of fading out I got it. Yeah. Great. Okay, so yeah no. So that's unless my mom told him and I didn't know he did not know. Okay. He was not aware. Okay. You're like, you raised me so poor. By the way, dad before you die. Diffixing. I mean, whenever we want to talk about it where it goes in the story, you're welcome to bring it up. You really had to get closure and deal with the issues of your father post mortem. Yeah , I did, I really did. And it didn't occur to me how much I was learning about him until kind of the job was over like with these men just to give you kind of like the timeline. I go into the job dealing fresh off the heels of daddy dying, right? And I'm like, I can't handle the grief. I'm going to go to the funny literally taught me that he taught me how to deal with hard moments in your comedian find the funny. I'm a tree. Like comedy comes from pain, right? It's this coping mechanism for pain. So as I go into the job, all I'm looking at are the stories I'm getting or the things I'm experiencing with these men that are funny. I can't hold any shame . I'm not looking for it. I'm not seeing it. And a few months in, I'm like , Oh shit, something is definitely happening here where I'm witnessing men at their lowest. Like it didn't occur to me like rect aal dysfunction because when I first heard about guys wanting to get their dick victor preserve their dick life, my immediate thought was like, of course they do, perbs, right? It was like gross, like old dudes wanna still fuck. Of course they do. Like that was the perspective I had while to this. So that's kind of all I was seeing . And then it started like again, I started seeing the pattern in all these different stories and, you know, he was a you know what I mean? Their wife had died and they're trying to get back out there. They don't know how to deal with that. Their wife thinks that they're cheating because their penis doesn't work and they're trying to prove to her like and they don't want her to know that they're here. And like, I was like, okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, I have a front row seat to mail shame to the thing that they are the most terrified of, which is this like, you know , definition of what makes them a man is broken . And I'm like, oh shit. And so then all of a sudden, I started being able to look at them through a different lens and go, oh wow, they are just as emotional and vulnerable and screwed up as we are as women. They just can't talk about it. You wrote this line down in the book, men came to me looking for physical solutions to emotional wounds. And I would have the first thought starter that you did, which is like course they want bigger decks and harder decks. And I mean, you tell story after story in the book of people whose partners are being not faithful to them or partners had died and things like that. Yes, a couple people wanted bigger decks, but yeah, let's talk about it a little more. So here's the thing. This service, because it helps blood flow , no matter how big, it's not gonna make your dick bigger, but it will make you look fuller or more engorged, right? So you have this feeling of like, oh, I'm at like max capacity now. I just want to clarify you guys were penis implants. Not penis enlargement, not penis implant. No. And then can you kind of just explain the machine? Yeah. So it's literally like a futuristic looking gun . And it sends so there's this pist on inside the chamber and it goes back and forth and it slaps this metal tip that you put on the tissue . So and by the way, it's touching the chain of the shaft. It's down the groin under, the balls, on the taint, all the way up the other side . So every single area that services blood flow to the penis to enlarge to engorge it was needing to help. We were trying to remove the plaque. So the idea of this is called angiogenesis, right? It causes these little micro traumas from the sound wave just shocking, like boom. And then as the body's like, oh, no, there's trauma. Let me go send healing healing properties to go fix it. And so it would kind of clean it up almost like clearing debris out of a river of the blood vessels so you could have more blood flow. What I was taught is eighty to ninety percent of ED is a blood flow issue , right? The rest is like psychological or and then sometimes when the physical problem is there , then you stop trusting your dick and then you know what I mean? So there's a lot right. So it's similar to it like a microneedling where you're physically touching it with the wall. Yeah, it's just not actually going inside the body in any way. That's why I was able to get certified without being medical professional. If you're going to do any kind of injection or anything you need a medical cancer degree . So I was able to get certified without that because it's non invasive. And people have to come several times. So the protocol at the time was six sessions. The device then took about forty five minutes to an hour per session. So very involved, very intimate, we're spending lots of time together. Yeah , I would have to put ultrasound gel on the penis to conduct the signal, which is basically putting lube on a dick that is not for pleasure. That's a whole story I tell. How do you know? I want to talk about it because you are, I mean you're a beautiful woman. You come in the room? I wonder if those guys were like fuck yes or fuck no. It was now they're like, oh this is weird my dick works now . Many men were hard the moment I would pull the sheet down and because we would have them wear numbing cream in order to help like reduce the snap of the like machine, they would wear it for an hour before. So like, you know how like I do like for Oh my god. Like you're like, I can't film my face, right? Same thing. So there's a lot of desensitization already happening, so a lot of them didn't even know they were hard. And they're laying down on a treatment table, clearly not making eye contact with me or their dick. Sure. They don't know they're hard . And so like sometimes I'd get guys who would be like complaining like I don',t know if this is working and I'm literally holding their erectic and I'm kind of like oh yes it is kind of good 'cause they're like wait do I need to be here? Okay . Six treatments and then is that the long term supposed to be forever or you come back depends on your hair removal thing? Yeah, no, that's a good question. It depends on their health like in general. Like if they have high cholesterol, if they have diabetes, if they have preexisting conditions that are impacting their blood flow , they're going to have to come back more often . So they would tell us like this treatment will last about eighteen months and then you might start seeing differences. Got it. But we would send them home with homework like a penis pump to use regularly. I always tell people penis pump is like cardio for your dick. It forces blood flow into the penis to help clear the debris. Every man, especially if you're over forty, I'm just gonna say it. What? Needs a penis pump. What? And should be using it regularly? I just I thought it was an aesthetic thing. It's really helpful. It's like functional, it's preventative care. Oh my God, I'm gonna order one. Yes. Not that Chaka has any issues. No but you listen to me. It's like preventative botox. I started Botox at twenty eight. A hundred percent. Now I don't have wrinkles. I know you guys are looking at my face now. Like you can move your face and tomorrow we're going to get bota. Okay, we're gonna take a quick break and then we'll get right back into it with Christina. So I'm telling you guys about biopimizers. I first discovered this company right after I got surgery a couple years ago and I was just like waking up in the middle of the night. I was super uncomfortable. 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And then just more like another medical question, like did you have like a spiel that you went through like change your diet? Here's things that can help you basically like foods less alcohol more sleep. Like what was the other spiel? I called it penis boot camp. Okay. I put my clients through what I call because I used to be a personal trainer and my background with all this health stuff, I'm like, all right, look, if this is like a blood flow issue, if this is high cholesterol, you've got to clean up your lifestyle. It's only going to benefit your circulation and your whole body , especially there. And what I was taught is that oftentimes ED is a precursor for heart disease because the blood vessels are so much smaller they. start So to fill up with plaque . And usually within, I think it was the stat was like within three years, you're going to have a heart attack or heart problem if you don't change your lifestyle. So it's like a warning sign. Like I have a scene in there's like your Dick is trying to save your life. Like, pay attention . Like, come on, you know, so yeah. And what was like the age range of people that came in? Oh my gosh. Honestly, I had clients young as eighteen and as old as eighty . And the average, of course, was in fifties and sixties. Right. But there were like a lot of other reasons guys, like motorcycle accidents, sex accidents, which I had a lot of questions about that. Episode. Tell me about exactly . It happens and people don't realize that unless they've been through it, right? Yeah. A lot of my clients, there's, if they had scar tissue on one side because of an injury or because of something else, they'd have Peroni's disease, right? Where like it bends one way or the other. It's actually pretty common. Doesn't that feel kind of good. I mean, that's what you have experienced with. It depends on how you get it . Okay, so it depends on how you're shaped a lot of us are crooked, too. I'm crooked . They're like, oh, I'm crooked. Hooked towards his stomach. Yeah. When it was inside me, it f ofelt nice. Yeah, probably I could h alk different. Exactly. Different ways, one hundred percent. Yeah, I've seen it all. So when someone would come in , do you always talk with them at length or is it do people come in and they don't want to talk, just fix me . Like or is it you've seen it all? I've seen it all. I credit my acting background to teaching me how to sort of adjust my energy and personality for different people in front of me, playing moments off of them . Often if they were really rigid and kind of like uptight at first , we would crack at some point. Right? They would crack because I make them feel safe. And like for me, I don't want to feel awkward in the room . So I'm like trying to find my way in like what do they need from me so that they can feel as safe as possible so that I can help them the best way. And what typically was that? Humor disarms people, right? Asking them about them being super curious . I would do a lot of self deprecating humor of like, oh my gosh, so many guys like, oh, we see making them just feel like this is normal. And it is. I remember feeling like halfway through the job, I started getting so frustrated that nobody understood about sexual dysfunction and the taboo topic, the shame around it. And I started feeling this conviction to normalize the conversation, which here we are with a book. And like that's my MO because I'm like, I know for me, if I feel like something's wrong with me that's like so shameful and nobody's talking about it, like, I don't wanna feel that. How do I normalize what I'm going through? And it's like, you look at other people. They're like, I remember watching I first started seeing like Brenne Brown, like, and she was so just like, guys, I'm human, and I'm such a mess. And I'm like, she has a microphone and a platform and she's talking about how messy she is. So I was like, why aren't we all doing that? You know what I mean? It's just being honest about a lot of my book is about the messy middle. We are human. We are so flawed. And like, let's just embrace that, right? So I tried to do that with them in the room so that they could feel safe to open up and it would work. And it was amazing. I mean, I'd meet men that like culturally had like a lot of blocks with speaking to a woman. I had this one of my very most funny stories as a guy from Pakistan And I was like, okay, he's like, my wife cannot know that I ever came to see you. And I'm like, okay, totally fair. Why would I ever tell her? I never even meet these wives most of the time. Legally, I can't tell you why. And I was just like, you know, and then it was like, he didn't want to tell me and all of a sudden a couple sessions in, he's like, well, we're having a really hard time having. And I started to learn that Oshu's very domineering. And he's like a submissive man and he doesn't really speak up for himself. And I'm like, well, no, your penis doesn't work. Like you don't you're masculated in this marriage. And like, I don't know why that's happening. But and I was like, well, you know, kind of what a strong woman really likes, right? Like she wants you to like make the decisions. Take that off her plate. Like, I just started saying weird sh theitrap thaty I didn't know the hell was saying, but it felt right. Had he tried it? And it came back and he's like, it worked and we had sex. I go, What? And her piece worked, she's like, yeah, and then I go, uh, and I'm like, So he's telling me this one story you guys. And then one of the craziest shit that ever happened in my. title So imagine this man, he's coming off this victory. He's so excited. I'm so excited. I feel like a winner. I'm like, this is my greatest success. Like I got him to have sex with his wife. This is fantastic. And then a little fly starts buzzing around his penis in the middle of the session. Wait, serious? This isn't a metaphor. This is a real fly decided to join us. And it's like, I'm holding his penis, right? And he's just like talking happily about his success. The gel's on his penis. The gel is super sticky and I have this machine, it's doing this. And I'm like, Oh, you fuckin' don't you fucking dare land on his stick. Don't you do this to him? I can't have this right now. And of course it does and it lands. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. This is just like that debate with Mike Pence and the fly. And you were watching it and you're like, that fly lands on Mike Pence's head when he hit it's over. Remember that was like the most famous fly? Yes, yes, exactly. It lands. And then half of its body is like stuck in the gel and it's trying to get away. And it's doing this fuck what do I do? What do I do? Do I kill it on the dick? Do I smash it? Do I zap it? Like it? Like I don't know what to do, right? And I'm like, Oh my god, but I gotta like the flies miserable. He's I and I'm gonna lay down . They're laying on a medical table like flat on their back. Okay , looking up at the sky, trying not to ever make eye contact with me. Right. And then another machine would have zap the fly, like one of those fly swatters. Totally, it's totally what it means. It was electrocuted. I don't even know. Yes, exactly. Oh my god, I love those. Yes. And so I was like, all right, Christina, just like whatever. So I try to like kind of like, but I don't want him to feel me. Like it was a very complicated situation. What are you doing? And looking and he's like, there's a violent deck. I can't have that. It'll go right back down to the shame world. And I was like, We're not doing this. So I like lightly smash it and it rolls down onto his ball and I'm like , and I'm like, he doesn't have numby cream on his balls. Now what do I do? And I'm like, okay, I'm gonna try to like flick it. Like it was I was like flick his ball that you know. How do you flick a fly not hit the ball? Like that is skill . Like that is skill. And I was like, I somehow did that. I was like, and maybe they make a noise. It was you copied. We saved the day. He did not ever aware that there was a fly on his dick just at all. Gel covered fly on his ball. Oh the stickiest grossest it was so it was amazing poor man. This poor man but he would never know. I love what you said about normalizing that's what anybody wants. I mean that's why it's really women when we go, to the gynecologist, something's off, you want to know that this is so normal. Everyone knows HPV, you know, like little things like that. Everyone, I think that is everyone's biggest fear is to feel like something is abnormal with their body. And of course in, their sex life, their desires, all of that too, but just like something's wrong with me. And so probably once you tell men that so many people are coming in and out like this is nothing. I see this all day every day. They're probably immediately disarmed. Exactly. And that's the thing that you, you know, again, because men don't talk to each other about these things . Let alone their wives or girlfriends. Yeah. They go to the dog and their doctor's like, Mom, here's a pill. I was talking to this woman the other day's like., She Well, my husband has D and we went to the doctor and he just said, Well, you probably have because you're married. And I was like , boredom. What? Yeah, like the doctor 's him with boredom. The doctor's like, you're probably just bored of in your marriage. And I was like, that is so , this is like the perfect example of the problem when men go to seek help from this and they go to the urologist, the doctor, a lot of urologists, I'm not saying all of them have antiquated information . They literally just prescribe medicine and tell them to go about their day . They're not fixing the source of the problem. They're not addressing the psychology. It's just get out of mouth. That might be true, but there's so much more nuanced. It's not like false information, but when you deliver it is like, this is the problem no solution or context and no business jumping into the house to be, you're gonna leave your wife. Right, right. Take a take now. You should probably just get away basically mistress. And so much of men's identity and self worth comes from their penis . But I do like I understand it because like my whole life I had these like giant tits and they were amazing and I was my whole person . I got breast reduction, they were too big. I got a second one and he botched the second boob job and I had like a bot ched left breast. Like it just it was like flat on the side. The scar like healed really badly. And I just was like, it never even occurred to me like talk to anybody about this. Like a doctor. I was just like, this is embarrassing. This is how I'm going to look for the rest of my life. And it wasn't until another nurse heard me talking about it with Ashley that she was like, oh, this happens and I know what this is called, but like I was so embarrassed with how my body looked to us. And this is a thing I took a lot of self worth from like my sexuality and how I look naked, and I'm so proud of it. And I was just like, this has changed my identity, how I look naked now. And it was so embarrassing to talk about and I never would have talked about it. And that's crazy because we do a whole show about your body and how you feel in your body Yeah.. And so I'm sure these men even more so because I'm a woman, it's easy for me to talk about it. Sure. These men are like, I don't know who am I gonna tell about this? Who am I gonna tell them? Exactly. And just in general, like the most vulnerable you are is when you're naked with somebody performance, right? Men are expected like we can't really it's like, okay, we get wet or we don't whatever, but it's like we're there. It's like there's no outward expression of whether or not we're going to function for sex. You know what I'm saying? They are like, it's like, oh, if you don't get hard, we don't have sex. I like I imagine it. Right? Feel for men on this. I know 'cause if I am not as lubricated as I quickly started to in my head and that's so fixed this doesn't like me. I never need lube. What's happening? Yeah. But it's an easy fix. Yeah. We sell great lubes, you guys. That's what I'm like. But with the guy, that's it. Yeah, if he can't perform, he actually is in charge of how this is gonna go. Yep. So we have to talk to you even about that today. Yeah. We had a urologist on years ago . Rena Malik. Rena Malic o. And ED is on the rise in general. And you already discussed that it's blood flow or psycholog ical or both, and it's cyclical . And I think a lot of women don't know what to do in these situations. And we've hammered this home as much as we can. We've had men on to discuss this that it has nothing to do with how hot you are for mostly. You know, especially if this is your somebody you've already had sex with you in a relationship with whatever. Like kind of one night stands excluded but women take it personally and it's not always about that. And so do you have tips for even just handling that with a partner in the bedroom and what to say what not to say, what to do, what not to do? Yeah, I mean, I think it's so much of it as again, it's like starts with a conversation, right? It's like, how do we make them feel safe enough to actually talk about this with us? Like rather than internalizing it and making it like blaming ourselves , right? It's like where can we find the middle ground of going like, hey, how can I help you? Is there something I can do to help you rather than like , oh my god, like am I like you're not attracted? Like I went through that before. Don't me wrong. Like during this job all have when we were younger to, especially personalize it. How totally in the moment? I know. And there's a whole systemic thing about women. Like, you know, it's like always our fault, right? Right. We're not pretty enough , you know, all the things. But I don't know how your average age of your audience, but a lot of women haven't had to come up against this yet , right? And like once you get to that place, it's like , oh, I didn't think this was gonna happen to me. It is really a lot more prevalent, actually. We're seeing it younger and younger and younger, especially because anxiety degeneration, drug use, like not in pharmaceutical drug use, right? There's so many things that can beu tghta that can be implicated just growing up so much desensitized dopamine problems from screen time, all the things all that there's so many reasons. And so I think again, like it starts with the conversation of like, how do we create a safe space where we can actually talk about this . There are so many different things you can do before medication , depending on what's going on. There's also like I said, you know, the penis bootcamps like lifestyle, like getting, you know, a penis pump, making sure you're working out, making sure you have circulation in your body happening in general, right? So it's not to say it's all on the guy. I think if you're in a relationship, it's both people. It's like, how do we both support each other through this, right? And instead of focusing on the shame of it, focus on the solution. I like to be a solution oriented person. I want to focus on how do we fix this, not like swallow in all the sadness about it. So again, I'm not a medical expert. I always tell everybody I'm not a, medical professional. I just know what I saw and I just know what I witnessed. So that people understand like the volume. You were seeing ten decks a day, five days a week for a year. Yeah . At the peace . Look, here's a face. ten a day. ten a day. Dude, it was exhausting. The thing is, so we were one of the first clinics, if not the first clinic in LA to do the service. And I'm talking like in all of like southern California. Like it was very new. We were I called the Wild West of Dick Fixing because we were still figuring out what we were doing in general in our clinic let alone like no people were flying in from other states to see me. It was a fun time. They were driving down from other counties. Like it was crazy and love this. And so at the peak I was, working fifty hours a week on Dicks. When I tell you my neck, my hand 'cause it's like literal control . It's like manual labor. This thing sounds like a jackhammer. It's so aggressive. They're probably the office manager. answering phones. We need an actor We get people. Like, I'm an actress. I will answer phones here for a couple of months. I would go home every night and go like, what am I doing with my life? By the way, we will, if people are wondering, we'll get to your relationship at the time. How that affects? Oh my god, so much more to cover. Yeah, I wanted to just qualify for people to understand the volume of dicks you were saying. There weren't many clinics doing it outside of the headquarters in Florida, right? That sort of trained us on this protocol. Right. Of course it was Florida, all the retires, let's go. So we were like learning every day how to do this and we had an incredible marketing team. Like the guy's background was marketing, the owner of the clinic. So if nothing else, we were great at getting people to the clinic. And then I had to sort of as the only technician , once we got so busy, I mean my neck and my arm, like everything was infinite all the time, all of it. I was hurting all the time. And I was like, what am I doing here? But we started trying to train people and it was really tough to get another person who could handle this, even yes who are like, oh you're a nurse, like you're trained to see crazy shit. No, they were like, I don't think I can do this. And they would bail. And so it was like and I felt very protective over my clients at a certain point. I was like, okay, not just anyone's going to walk in here and do this. You need to have a certain personality. You need to like, I've like kind of set this bar of how you're going to behave what you're going to talk about. And if you can't like do that, you're not going to work here. Yeah, you know what I mean? So it was insane how much I was and so by the time I left, I would looked at like my client roster and I remember clocking the number and I was like , I worked on over four hundred dudes. Like four hundred in a year . Like that's so many different ticks. Attached to so many different problems and stories and shame and it was crazy. I mean, the amount of people just walk in every single day like with their baggage like, and I'm like, like I had to get like things accomplished and hold their stories and remember. And like it was so incredible. It changed my life, but it was also extremely exhausting. I was tired all the time. I want to talk about people that like walked in. You talk a little about people that walk in with like a real sense of like bravado. Like chestnut puff ing. Like can you can you talk about that a little bit and how you kind of got what was going on. Which like for me, and you know, given like my dad was very much that guy, right? He was like very proud and very like arrogant. And so I was trained to deal with men like that from birth, right? I was like, oh, here we are. Here we are again . I wasn't really aware that there was something they were covering until I was in this job. You know, you see guys like okay, big truck, small dig or like the kind of typical stuff that like as women we would make fun of with men like try ing to like front or whatever . But this was so different, right? So like they come in and it's like sometimes they'd see me and they'd be like her? No, she's not treating me and I'm like, dude, it's LA. I don't know. I'm the only women. Yeah, like I think they were expecting like some like grandma that's like they could feel like they're just being like nannied by and they feel a little less emasculated . Yeah. And so I'd get the interesting uncomfortable questions like so, where's your boyfriend thinking of you doing this or your husband? Like, ho, I don't know if I could be with someone who fixes digs all day. Like just absolute just peacocking, like deflecting, trying to put up the front. Like, I know I'm here for my broken dig, but I'm still like better than this. You know, like they didn't want to allow the reality of what they were was happening to exist in that room together. Crazy, you were someone they would fuck. So it's like, that's the problem. Like they wanted some like older German lady. Yeah . Yes with that doesn't speak English. Yeah , they're gonna have that discount. Not a younger woman who like really puts all their problems in front of them. They're like, you are the person I'm getting this fixed for. Yes. Yes. So it took it took time and it took work for me to also like get my ego checked because as soon as I would encounter a guy like that, I'm like, that'll be so cute. Like you're my dad, like, I'm gonna destroy you. I'm gonna be more powerful or whatever it was, right? Because I didn't want them to be in control of me and control the conversation, right? And so here I am like, at any moment, I could shock your ball and hurt you. Would you say I have that kind of breath? No, I would no body like, no, but I mean, I'm saying like I knew internally that like I held the power in the room but how did you even deal with those things you were saying like I'm immediately triggered I don't have the patience or like to handle that. Like I want to clap back to work, you know . So how do you like that? How did you I think I had to just swallow a lot of like words and bite my tongue. I will say though in credit to like the situation . Those behaviors didn't last long. This is like so funny. I talk about this in the book. The big reveal moment. So what I would do is I would provide them this medical drape. It was like a big sheet, right? And I'd say, Okay, like, go ahead and take your pants off, whatever, and like lay down, put the drape over you. Now the drape was always folded and so kind of like the Genicall just to open up the robe and like put it on, right? The paper drape, right? It's so ugly and gross, but we have to do it. And so they would, a lot of times guys would not open it up and they would just keep this little square on top of the penis. And they would lay down and I was like , oh god or they'd open it once or then other guys would get it and they'd open it like put a sheet on. So then there was like I talked them through what I was gonna do. I would give them, you know, the whole rundown and then I would do the big reveal of seeing their dick for the first time . They didn't pick. There's no way even though I never said that, there's no way they weren't like, hope, she seen my dick. You know what? And I was like, oh, here we go. And I'm gonna learn a whole lot about you without ever saying a word, right? Because I'm gonna say what your dick looks like. The saxophone start playing louder. That's right. That's right. You play music in the room? Oh yeah. Okay. Of course, like spa like me. No, shine. Can you imagine she has sound effects? coming down bone. It's safe . Exactly. Yeah, it's like announcing a boxer's entrance to like the ring. Like I'm just like coming out of the ring green half heart. Green half heart yeah. The guy that came up in the cyber truck. That's right. They're a music based on how big their dicks. That's right. It's just like, oh, hey, Siri, can you change it to this blue? Okay. Tell us man. Direct correlation between cyberuckst andr small dicks because I'm sure it's direct ed. Unfortunately for me, I try really not to think. I see it and I just immediately I'm like, oh, come on, dude, like really like, don't advertise . We do talk you about this guy who came in who was particularly unpleasant and not nice and he had a micro penis? He was so that's why inverted penis. Okay . Is Big Dick energy real in terms of a big nice cock and a confident normal dude as opposed to the also we're talking about problems with their dick so size is also involved. Like a lot of these guys who could be insecure about what's actually going on with the dick, but I'm just curious about those guys that act like that correlate to smaller penises and we're bigger dick guys a little So here's what I'll say 'cause I'm meeting them flaccid most of the time, which I never know what they're gonna do. Right. It could be a shower or a groom. We don't know. And I don't know. I hooked up with a guy once. I thought it was my first micropenis. The way he got fully hard, I was like, we need more loop. Like, I've never seen it my life. I did a whole bit about it. It's crazy, right? I had the opposite thing happen. I sawed one of the biggest sticks I've ever seen in my life. I was like, this is my dream and I had only ever seen it in like videos yeah videos when we had sex and then it went back to normal watching it just diff I was like, yeah, okay, get that small, that's crazy. I know, I can't yeah. It's how it functions. It's crazy. It's mine. So you know nothing about a glass of penis. Nothing , nothing. Right. Unless it's huge fluid, of course. No, we ld. I was like, I can't believe it's still going. It's just shrinking. It's like a splinking. How did that go to that? It's great. What I will say because again, I was meeting men with like mostly flaccid, right? There were some that got erect, of courseed, but most ly flaws. I will say I cannot correlate size of dick to size of man . Some of the smallest totally little men. giant, this like sausage just yeah it came with a big dog. And it's a giant man with like where did it go? a guy that's like six four and it does not match . I know I know the statue it is big big. It's on you. That's right. That's not always. Yeah, it's listen, sometimes it's just literally not big. I had a six four guy that he was so wait, tall skinny guys usually are slang in big dicks, did you? There's a lot of those. I definitely saw a lot of those. Any other patterns? The other pattern I saw was body fat and ball size. Ball like bigger and fatter. Yeah. They're just elevated when you're bigger. Yes. Oh my god, you don't have to know it post dates you like what Ozempic is doing to penises. Oh yeah, I wasn't in the clinic when I went down . So this by the way people don't. It was twenty eighteen. Yeah, okay. Yeah. During the Me Too movement at a time, which was fascinating to be like , W isorld bastardizing men, which I had a lot of my own stories. And yet, I'm in the witnessing this entirely different side of them. So it was a real mind fuck for me. But could you feel men being hyper aware of not wanting to come off creepy . I would say in general because of just what we were doing , there was like there was only even on you one guy that was super creepy. Really? One dude, and he only had one session and he never came back. He literally leaned up on his elbows the whole time, and he's like, You're doing a really good job. You're watching me and I was like, but he shouldn't be allowed to come back. No, he wasn't. Did you ever fire anybody? No, he wasn't allowed to come back. I had moments where I wanted to. It was very rare. I will say, okay, out of the fort ress I had maybe two people where I was like, I don't really like working with this guy but it's just 'cause he's weird, but it's not like I feel they were all so humbled by what was going on . There was no way so it was again it was another like way for me to be able to be in this situation with men where they didn't have an out to be an asshole. I was like, Oh yeah, your dick is broken in my hand. What are you like, what are you gonna do? You know what I mean? So it was such a rare moment for me as a woman to be in that situation and learn what I did. Wow. Yeah. And then for the most part, did this really work? I mean, did you have guys coming back in their last session and they're so happy and working and things are? Oh, I got like cards from wives fl,owers , like I met girlfriends that I was not. Like I've had I had a couple women watch sessions. I was like, this is, I'm literally working on your partner's penis. Well, you this is not how I imagined my three sum. Like, you know what I mean? So yeah. Yeah. Like it was flat . It was like changing their lives. Yeah. It was crazy. So I would say the majority of people all it worked totally. It did something for them It was only people who had severe health conditions. Most of those guys wouldn't even take them as clients because we don't waste their money. It wasn't fair. But yeah, it really did work. It was incredible. You wrote this thing I want to unpack this like Thought Starter with you. You said I learned that men could hurt the same way that we do and women can hurt men with the same precision . And I think that we just forget sometimes that like men can go through the same stuff that women can go through and they can hurt the way that we can. But yeah, I was hoping you could like maybe speak on that a little bit and maybe even like related to Jack and Veronica. Yeah, yeah, no, I'll bring that up. So I know growing up with a complicated alcoholic, verbally abusive father, I'm just gonna throw that all out there in one sentence, taught me men weren't safe in general. Like I did not have a good first impression. So I either dated men just like him like assholes, jerks, abusive men, or I went for like the guy who was like the beta doormat guy who was like, oh I was like, oh, I feel in control of this. He's never gonna hurt me. This is good. And those were the two opinions I had of men. I was like, men fit in two categories. It was very black and white. I get to this job, I had this client Jack comes in all peacocking, totally like my wife and I have an open relationship, like, you know, and I was like, am I supposed to be turned on by that? Like, I didn't know what he was like, I was like, are you trying to pull me into this because I'm not into this? And I call him Jack. And then it turns out a couple sessions later, he admits to me that his wife's actually just having an affair with a man that and he's not doing anything. And he's calling it an open relationship to make himself feel better , but it's really just like this affair. And I'm like, well, aren't you supposed to be dating too if you're and he's like, I've never hooked up with anybody. And I'm like , now it all makes sense. Why he was peacocking, why he had to cover. And then I just saw the broken boy. I saw the broken on my table, right? And so it was it was so weird for me. And then she came in, right? He was gonna stop sessions and go I connected him to a sex therapist. He was going to go work on his marriage. She ends up coming in with him one session and was like a t gonnareat get ment of her own and wanted to he wanted her to be in the room with him. They had like repaired things . And so she's in the room. She 's not allowed? You can bring a guest? Hey, your wife, I guess. I mean, apparently we were we were rewriting the rules every day. There was no plan for there wasn't a department. There was no HR department. There was no hip. Like, she didn't know what you were doing. So she was signing a guest. Right. I'm a free race. I didn't know what I was doing. I'm like you gotta come to this. Get me on Instagram stores. Yeah, let's go live. Hashtages do the right angle get it up . Yeah, that's right. It was so insane. Yeah, face time. Shock them back to life. So she's in there and she's literally on her phone the whole time, not even looking at her. And he's like, Babe, babe. See, like this is Christine, like it's cool. I'm so happy you're meeting her. See, I told you, babe, babe, like this poor guy. He's like clearly looking for attention. She's not giving it to him at all. She could give up fuck about him. I could just see it. She was, I'm like, wherever she is is not here. Right. Right. And then it was like her turn. And so like, that was the first time where I was like, Oh my God, women can be villains, just like men. Like, they can hurt . Like he was clearly hurting and it broke my heart and it made me see my parents in a very different way. And the lack of attention my mom was giving my dad and how he was trying to like be like, hey, look at me. Look at me. You know, and we're just And so it flipped the script for me and I started going like , wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. Hold on. Guys are just little boys. They're trying to just get their right, get attention the way we are. They just do it in different ways. And it really changes the way I see men completely after that. And there were so many examples like that through the clinic that I saw. It was crazy. I mean, we can sympathize and empathize with all day. Yeah, broken men typically cause harm to that world to my children to their children, to whatever they do. I'm not going to get too bleak with it. So that's the issue I have. And so of course, but we need them to work on it so they stop causing so much harm. Like that's where I think women have a lot of this lack of sympathy because it's like women shoes don't right cause harm that's right men do. Right. But still like it's an important discussion to have. We can't just completely invalidate their experiences. Exactly. And I think and this is like a bold swing for me to say, but I do think there's still like a responsibility on us to make them feel safe to be able to do that . Right? We can't be so like anti men and so against them that they're like, yeah, go heal in solidarity, like go figure out by yourselves. Like we still have to be like, if you do, we're here, right? We're not abandoning you just because we're so we have a generational like multigenerational anger issue with them. And 'cause I get it, I come from that. But now I'm like, now I'm starting to see this from a different light. I'm like, okay, now what is my responsibility as women knowing this truth that I've discovered, knowing this information? How do I participate in their healing rather than just being like, well, we'll be here when you're ready , right? It's totally It's an interesting take. Yeah, and you did a lot of good in the world . You know, like, I think that's the thing that people will have sex against who is two thousand eight. A lot of you. I mean, I really initially was like, is this gonna be like really male apologies to you like and it's just not, you don't write about it like that. And you just are like they have the same experience as us. It's a messy middle. To Ashley's point, you know, a lot of that manifests in a way that like people become like your father. That harms the other people in their life. But I think the way you talk about it isn't like, we should feel bad for them. It's just like these stories exist. Yeah, and there's hope and they can most hopefully of them can be rehabilitated if they want to be . Yeah. So what happened with Jack and Veronica? Or read the book, you guys? Well, read the book. I did treat her and I really wanted to like not treat her and just I was like so angry with her because I felt protective of him. I had seen the little boy. I had seen the hurting and in our private sessions and now I'm like witnessing the woman but I'm like, it made me really go there's two truths. There's multiple I don't know her story. I don't know her experience with him at home. know how And you she 's traded her exactly the point all of that . Right? So it's sort of it just opened my eyes that it's like there's no way that I can only be all for women all the time. Like it's it's situational. There's nuance, right? There has to be nuance these days. We have to bring that back into the conversation. So it just, that was like the first time that I was like, can I hold two truths and live in a messy middle? That's like the only way we can really function. You're right. There's context and nuance to everything. And I had a friend who would shop this story around a lot that her ex ghosted her. And she would just really like gas everybody up how terrible he was. And can you believe this? He woke up one morning just fucking left me. The truth of the story, the man who was in therapy. He was an individual therap y. I know he tried to work on this and talk to you about this half a dozen times. And when the information wouldn't get through, then yes, one day he woke up and said, I'm leaving. But there's so much nuance and context to that. It paints him in this horrible light, but it's not the truth of the story. And that truth exists too. With other relationships , men do just wake up with no warning and do that shit. You know, when that happened when are the victim? Totally no. But yeah, let's maybe wrap up with your relationship at the time. I think a lot of people this probably I mean, it's the same question Ashley and I get when people are like, What do your partners feel about you guys being comedians? Like I'm sure you get this question a lot, but you were in a relationship, a long time relationship What did he think about? What was that relationship like? Yeah, so that was it was a very long relationship we were in. It was a total of seven years. We were all together before the job. He was very supportive of me. Like he was very secure in a lot of ways. Like he was, thankfully, we were talking about earlier, like he was a very secure guy , but we weren't having sex . So I was in a sexless relationship while I'm talking about dick fixing sex positivity, trying to get people to have sex again , and I'm having no sex in my life. Just for any specific reason or Well, see, I didn't know. It had nothing you would be like, Oh, did he have ED? And it's like, no. He just, I examine this thoroughly in the book because I don't know exactly what started this, but this had already been going on for a while and I'd be like, Are you gay? Like am I just not attractive anymore? Like I went through the gamut because sex has always been very important to me. Number one , like I'm like, it's how I communicate and have fun. Like this is like how are we not gonna have this in a long term relationship ? And for him, I think what I witness is the man who was a boy coming into his manhood. We were in our early thirties, but like he the stresses of life got to him so bad the responsibility of like paying bills and like, oh my god I'm in a relationship and we have dogs and one of them has epilepsy and like uh and it's just like I think it put him so in his head that he couldn't connect to his body . Like he's the kind of guy that would not have a stress outlet would not be sex. That's my stress outlet . We were different, right, in that regard. And so I was just watching this and like, but it hurt me. Like it was like something was wrong with me. And it made me feel like such a hypocrite at work all the time because I'm like, you had sex Happy for you. Fuck, you know what I mean? So we went through a lot of different things to try to fix this therapy. We did, you know, getting him on hormones. Like maybe his testosterone's low. Maybe we tried to do we're talking about it. It wasn't just like Oh, fit in the room, okay? I was like, okay. I did every version of like thing you could do to try to fix this. And I wouldn't give you a straight up answer. Right. Maybe he didn't have to I don't think he knew. I truly believe that he didn't know. I think ultimately, he didn't know this at the time and I didn't know this time. I think he felt severely emasculated by me. Sure. I was making so much money. He was not . I was have this crazy purpose and this I was like had a big acting job and this career and I think he just felt like he couldn't measure up. And I think it just stunted his ability to feel like he was worthy of me. And he was like my safe beta mail guy. Like he was like such a sweet guy when we met and like he didn't have sex with me for like the first three days. I'm like, What the fuck are we doing? You know, like I was like, take your clothes off, I'm done with this shit. Yeah, you know , and so if I didn't look at that and pay attention from the beginning, he was always the you said, you had a type one of two types. Yes. And did you guys have sex in the beginning and it kind of peered off? Yeah, like the first year, but he was also like he was getting out of grad school. Like the world was like in front of it was like everything was possible. There was no responsibilities. Like it was just there was a lot of freedom. And so it was in a newer relationship. Yeah, it was like spontaneous desire. Yep. And real life started sinking in and it just that went away. And I was like, woah, what? Like, I didn't sign up for this. You know, but you're integrated and your life is and it happens so slowly and gradually that it isn't like you're trying to hold on to like, wait, remember when we were just those people, like , right, like we could get it back to you. Like was your self talk at that time? Like, I can live without this? No. Okay , okay Was it like I was this person? Like I should try it harder. I mean, you stayed for a long time. I did, I did. And I think I was scared, right? We had so much good. And a lot of times for me is like, if there's a clear reason to leave somebody, you're like, Oh, this is easy. When there's not something that you can just go, I'm leaving because they cheated. I'm not leaving because da da da da. I think I was confused in my own development of like, he's a good person, but it doesn't mean he's right for me. And I didn't have that awareness yet. Yeah. I was like, oh, I'm the bad guy if I leave because they' s so much that is working in the day . Yes. And he was so kind and he was such a supporter. He was like my little puppy dog. He was like my fan like and I was like, oh, but I was like, wait, I didn't actually want that. I wanted the man is gonna throw me against the wall and fuck my brains out, but then also cuddle with me afterwards. Like that's what I want. It's hard in those relationships and you're like, this is a nice person. Yeah, I see all this bad behavior around me and my friends' relationships. That's right. And I have it so, I should be lucky.. Yeah We'll figure out how to fix this and then it just kept not getting fixed. So now husband from what we've heard so far. Yeah master ing guy. He has a master like is he ? No, I think he's a blend. He's like the hybrid of like all of the versions, like the two extremes. Like he's like the Badass Army Ranger who has been trained, you know, kill people. And that's so hot. So if you feel protected, it's so hot, right? I'm like, she gets it. Yeah, I'm like, So you're like, Oh, I'm always gonna be safe. Murder, yeah. But he's also a sweet guy and he's also just come out of the military. So we're dealing with all of those transitions and him coming into civilian life. You're good. Oh ye yeahah,, he retired. Like he's almost twenty four years, he's like , and that's been hard. And so it's a whole other layer of like our relationship being like where it's like now he's coming into his vulnerability and his identity crisis so a lot of the tools that I learned over the years doing the things that I did writing this book, I'm applying now to my relationship. I'm like, I learned how to forgive my dad knowing my dad had shame that I didn't know he had, seeing these men in shame, and I'm like, if a man is hurting me because of his own suffering, I don't learn how to have grace for that. I didn't learn anything from this book totally. That makes sense. Yeah , that's kind of where we're in kind of a current crisis stage of like trying to have him figure out who he is again. And it's hard. Yeah, really complicated. I can't imagine that. I can't imagine two decades plus his entire identity identity. Loss of identity. That's a whole other book. Yes, and I think that impacts men and I've seen this with my dad and his health and whatnot. Like men losing their identity because I think women are so we're able to discover new purpose and pick up new all the time and friends and get new purpose exactly pivoti easer , I think. Men can mourn a loss of identity and find the next thing. I think men struggle with that a little bit. We do. They really do. I'm watching it happen. Stay tuned for the next book, you guys. I know, yeah. I just I have to gas you up even . J thisust book is fantastic. People will love it. I cannot recommend it enough. It comes out on june thirtieth. So you can pre order it now on Amazon or anywhere you get books, right? It's just fantastic. You don't know Such a like different interesting project. Exactly. There's just a lot of the same out there. something that really feels unique and different and the perspective and it's an emotional ride too the humor. It's really beautiful. So yeah. Thank you so much. I'm so grateful. Tell people anywhere else they can find you. My Instagram's Christina, Seven Denton with a K, by the way, with a K. And yeah, I'm putting all my bookstuff, tour information, things like that up there. So perfect. Great. Like a little link tree vibe. Yeah, all check around Instagram. Exactly. We love a link tree. Links and bias it is. And we are girlsgotted eat. com, girls got eat podcast and Instagram and TikTok. I am Ash has in TikTok. Rain is Randa , Rayna, Rand for her tour tickets in the fall, and you could watch full video. We recommend it for this one. It's really wonderful on Spotify or YouTube. Share this episode with a friend or a man in need, and we will see you Thursday. Have a great week